#doesanyone else feel like tevery time they manage to get somehting together its so fleeting and

[gayspock]

ok 1

blah blah blah all i do is blah blah blah. whatever. i feel miserable as shit. mmmhm ......... oh this too will pass and for what after it. more shit and nothing good and im tired and im sick and i want it to be over i feel everything stetching before me nd i dont want to have to do a fucking second of it, and frankly i didnt want to have to do a second of anything thats come before this and like

i keepfeeling so fucking miserable all i can find myself doing is scrolling forever and forwhat i dont know i dont care . stuck being a miserablefucking git cuz of that just beingstucktheres never anywhere to go or anything to do or any fucking resolution or anything i jsut . fucking wanna sleep and neverrr wake up again why not bro its like its not like it means anything if i dont and if i do so what at least its like gone and over and

ijsut fucking gh. i feel likeeverything i tried to do it jsut isnt right and it just shuts me out more. i feel like eveyrthing eveyrone says and every sentiment i ever fucking hear isjust so much more isolating. and i wish i could just tell people to shut up more. idont know theresalways that stupid fucking shit thatjsut makes it worse. idoes anyone think about all the fucking times youve tried toask people to stop doing the hting that makes it worse and they insist they know better and keep doing it at you and does anyone else feel like theyreso alone in it . becausei dont think i can feel anything any mroe in some aspects of like i dont fucking trust you like in theslightest and i dont think you zactually think of me at all as a person and if you do its like some completely different fuckign entity. not like the standard ways we all have some projection of another person in our fucking skulls, and i also dont mean that in the arsey boohoo nobody fucking understand me way. i dont give a shit any man. i just meani dont know . i dont think this is workingand tis working for everyone else in some fucking capacity .

likesorry my constant rantings.do you ever fcuking sit there and think of all the ways and all the thingspeople say to try and make it better whether it be sentiments passed around online or shit proffessionals say or shitpeople have said to you when youvetried toreachout and again itjust feels . worse. more isolating. and ha ha ha thisis thepoint where people say :) you havetojust accept it:) and yesss its so bad until it gets good YOU IDIOT:) rightyeah ok. ok . anywyas i dontknow. i feellike theres a constant fucking stram of itrunning through my head sometimes all the fucking little failures and things im never going to grapple with all the ways peoplekeep sayinjg fundamentals and insist ifyou dont fit into it youre wrong except haha not that youre just negative and youre being willfully slefdestructive utits like i fucking wish it worked out i dont knowwhat to do i wished any of it fucking meant anyhting ro fucking helped or was meanignful in any fucking wayand wasntjustanother fucking thing that fucking felt like a hammer to the skull and to fuckng poke at day in day out. kill me or whatever