#and over the years I've developed this opinion that I don't really share because it's unpopular and maybe even a little abrasive:

[alltheboysandgirlsiloved]

Chaos Theory review (characters' oriented review)

Since everyone is doing this, I thought I'd share my thoughts too because, to some extent, I feel like I'm in a minority here. In this post I'm going to focus mostly on the characters because there's a lot to say about the show in general and I don't have patience to write everything in one post.

spoilers under the cut

I said it yesterday and I will say it again: I absolutely loved Chaos Theory. It was action-packed, well-paced, dramatic and funny. It was everything I loved in Camp Cretaceous.

I'm especially grateful that they gave us a whole variety of emotions coming from all of characters.

I loved yasammy's conflict because it felt real and natural. Yas' PTSD being openly addressed was everything I hoped for (all of them have PTSD in some capacity but when it comes to Yas the execution was on the next level). And Sammy being fiercely overprotective over her girlfriend to the point it became too much?? That made so much sense because she had always been always protective but after the experiences in camp cretaceous, it is no wonder that this trait started to get out of her control. I don't know, it just made sense. I hope that in season 2 they go in detail about Sammy's family situation, I want her to talk about it with Yas. I'm really curious how it will play out and I can't wait to see Yas being super awesome supportive girlfriend.

I also really liked Darius and Kenji's relationship - I know, I know but hear me out. I actually enjoyed how the conflict(s) in their case seemed to keep piling up; they were growing like a fungus. I adored that little bit when Kenji mentioned that he stayed in touch with Darius' mother, while Darius didn't call her. I think it was incredible; such a small detail but tells you a lot about the years in their life that we didn't get to see.

While we are at it, I have to address the whole Darius and Brooklyn thing which I actually... didn't mind. I really didn't? And I don't mind that it was one-sided either. Maybe because it is the first (*cough*) openly addressed one-sided love story between the campers. I've always loved Darius and Brooklyn friendship, I genuinely believe that it was one of the strongest relationships in CC. It would be cool if they stayed platonic but really, I truly don't mind that one-sided love plotline. I wouldn't even call it a love triangle because to me it seems that Darius, to some extent, always knew that it was an unrequited crush, and I don't feel a sense of a privatization (between Kenji and Darius) either. You know what I actually liked about this situation? The fact that Darius didn't go to meet with Brooklyn because he was basically ashamed, embarrassed, and a little scared of his own feelings, of getting hurt. I feel like, in the long run, this is going to be incredible for his character development. Darius trying to run away from his own feelings to the point where he abandoned someone, where he tried hiding something from others? I genuinely think it added to his character and gave him additional depth. That's just my opinion though. I also think that even without that romantic plotline he would still call Brooklin after her "death". So to me, this really didn't change much other than adding more awkwardness and I had no trouble handling that (I always really liked visually the scene where Kenji and Darius were sitting in the bathtub. There was something pleasing about this)

Moving on to Kenji... Killing Daniel Kon so fast was certainly... a choice but. Kenji's reaction to his death was so well-done. It really highlighted the complex relationship that Kenji had with his father - someone he hated but who he also considered kind of a indestructible. His reaction was so heartbreaking and I was there for it.

And then there's also Ben. I'm gonna be honest - I am biased. I loved him before, I love him still so it feels unfair to write about him from my very biased perspective. Still - they could never make me hate him. I like how his character changed in so many ways but also stayed true to his core – he is adventurous and a little reckless (like a Jungle Boy that he was), and he is also soft and sensitive (that scene when he was crying when he was hiding under the truck broke me). I'm extremely curious about his background story that we barely touched upon - it is obvious that he had been living in that van for a while, which is interesting considering how he used to live on the campus and (let me remind you that) he has a loving mother that would surely support him if he decided to take a break just because he needs a break. From the looks of it, Ben seemed to be living on his own for a while – was his obsession with "being hunted" the only reason? or was there more? many questions. I am also a bit... sceptial about his girlfriend. The first time he mentioned her was not convincing to say at least, not to mention that apparently he had been living without his phone for a while now - were they talking online all this time or what? Idk, if he really has a girlfriend then first of all - the screenwriters are cowards, second of all - the relationship doesn't seem super-convincing for now.

Bonus: Mateo is one of the best characters introduced in the show, for me, he beats even Mae. He was perfect, actually perfect, I loved him. I really hope we will see him again in season 2 (above taking care of Bumpy) because I really liked his agency and his character arc.

Overall: I feel like your final review of CT depends heavily on what you tend to focus on while watching the show, and what you like in shows in general. I don't mind drama as long as it doesn't interfere with characters' personality. And I feel like a lot of choices they made in CT actually makes sense for these characters. I think it is also important to remember that this was - from what I understand - planned as a two-seasons long shows from the beginning which means that a lot of loose ends and decisions may not make sense yet but they will eventually be developed in season 2 (which would be awesome, we love consistent writing)

anyway, I only watched CT once for now, so don't quote me. I'm sure that I will have more thoughts later

[eshithepetty]

You're so right big cleanup arc is SO GOOD they just can't appreciate Ritsu's 13-year-old swag 😔 (literally the most realistic depiction of middle schoolers I've ever seen I was like that in middle school)

RIGHT.... I see people making fun of that arc and Ritsu so much, and I know it's probably supposed to be all in good fun, but the results of that poll and general lack of understanding I see of that arc don't help my feelings on this..... like. I know people are allowed to not share my opinions and not like things but 😭

Like. Yes, Ritsu is dramatic in that arc. Yes, he breaks down over relatively small things. Yes, he beats people up seemingly out of nowhere. And yes, taken out of context.... I see how that's funny to talk about. But... it just saddens me. That that's most of the discussion I see of that arc. Just about how feral Ritsu was, how violent, how nonsensical, how funny it all is..... where's all the actual metas about it huh??? I wanna talk about it.

I wanna talk about how fucking stressed Ritsu was, even up until that point. About how it wasn't just framing those kids that broke him. He's been bottling all his feelings up for years. He's been maintaining that perfect image for years. He didn't even have anyone to talk to about it, like mob had Reigen - he had noone. He was simply the good kid, the smart kid, the helpful, kind brother, the one who never caused any trouble. Do you know how much fucking pressure that is? Do you know how lonely he must have felt? Not to even mention the added deathly fear of Mob, who he had to prepare for exploding every single day. Who he never knew when he could hurt him again. His big brother, who he loved so dearly. Who almost killed him. Who he had to develop placating tactics to try not to aggravate further. This kid is legit traumatized. He has issues. He had noone to help him with it. He was fucking alone. I don't actually think it's that extreme or nonsensical that he snapped.... I really don't.

As for the beating people up while monolouging thing.... I've mentioned it before, but I've never really went in depth with it I think - but I really fucking love how Ritsu kind of.... leans into this role of the villain once he realizes he's escaped the image of the good kid. He's never really had the chance to develop morality and ethics on a more realistic scale - cause he never really had true relationships to develop those senses. He simply... doesn't do well at people stuff. At being a normal kid. He can only emulate what he thinks people expect him to be - what will lead him to being the safest he can be. For a long time, that was the good, smart brother status. It kept his parents happy. It kept his brother happy. It kept his teachers happy. But what happens when he's suddenly not that? What happens when he has a chance to be something else? He can't just become himself. He doesn't know who he is. All he knows is that he's suddenly doing bad things, for seemingly no reason. He doesn't fully understand those reasons himself. "Even I..." he says. He says as he contemplates how even as someone as smart as him can be so petty, how even someone as weak as him can suddenly become powerful, how even someone so messed up as him can be forgiven.

That mask of a villain is what he puts on because he thinks it will finally give him what he has sought after all this time - power. Power to protect himself. Power to not be so afraid anymore. But also.... that shedding those concepts of social norms, of bonds, of caring about others, will give him the freedom that he so sorely lacks. That's what he's felt the most of all - this.... stifling sense of responsibility. This responsibility that he has put on to please others, to not be hurt. So what if he just.... doesn't care about it anymore? Did he ever even care? What if he never cared about others at all, what if he never cared about his brother at all? What if it was all just... fear? Fear that he can shed now, now that he can protect himself? He wants to be free. He so badly wants to not be scared anymore.

And he thinks he achieved that. He finally achieved 'loss'. He can do what he pleases now. Noone can tell him what to do anymore.

....hey. Don't you think that kind of sounds like someone? Someone... made of shadows, white eyes, someone who's felt that same suppression for the same amount of years? :)

I really, really think Ritsu and Mob aren't that different. It's just that their power levels are different, and... Ritsu kind of came to that breaking point a lot sooner than Mob, on virtue of having noone to rely on. Of course, they are still vastly different people, but.... it's not a coincidence, that Ritsu was the first to understand who ???% is.

So I just think it's kinda weird, how many people just. Seem to not understand Ritsu? Or take Mob seriously, while only ever making fun of Ritsu? Of course not all people do that, and I know a lot of people poke fun at him out of love (me also, sometimes), but I've heard so many people admit that they don't understand the big clean up arc, or Ritsu's character, or simply don't care to look too deep into it. When I look up mp100 essays on youtube, that arc and Ritsu's character, is the one most often grossly misinterpreted. And I just find that sad. And it's part of the reason for my strong feelings for this, I guess.

In the end, Ritsu is just a young, confused kid, one who's lived in fear for so long he forgot what life looks outside of it, one who stifled himself for years, one who felt the need to put himself into boxes because everything was just suddenly so bad and so complicated and he couldn't make sense of it on his own. What 13 year old could? What traumatized 13 year old honors student wouldn't act irrationally when presented with otherwordly powers? Is there even a healthy way one could be expected to react to all of this?

I could go on... I could talk about how he develops past that, about his words to Shimazaki during the world domination arc on what he wants is a 'fun life', about his relationship to Shou, about how I think Ritsu will struggle to choose his future, about how he and Mob grow beyond the series... but this was supposed to be about the big clean up arc, so I'll end it at that. I don't think I explained my thoughts the best I could, Ritsu is just a little bug in my brain that buzzes and buzzes and never quite leaves and idk how to put it all into coherence, but... yes. That's my answer to this ask, I guess lmao. I have to go load the dishwasher now o7

P.s. I hope noone gets any hard feelings over my dramatics btw. I am simply a creature that gets way too passionate about some fictional characters.... and Ritsu happens to be one of them u_u and I hope this big old ramble of mine made some sense jdhhdhd

[daytaker]

NightBringer Satan is a Gift.

I understand everyone has their own opinions on how good/not good NB is as a game or a story or whatever, but in my opinion, Satan's characterization is soooo enhanced by it. I know that this isn't an opinion that everyone shares, but to me, Satan felt emotionally artificial sometimes in the original game (more on that below).* He felt kind of awkward and like he wanted to connect with MC but something was blocking the kind of connection they develop with some of the other brothers. (Disclaimer: I've only done season 1 of OG, so I can't speak to how he's characterized later on. I know, I know, shame. But I'm trying my best.) Getting to see what Satan is like when he doesn't have any control over his emotions makes the stiffness and artificiality make more sense to me, and they become admirable because we get to see just how hard it is for him to get everything under control.

I think they did a really good job with the pacing of his development in NB too. Satan in Lesson 1 and Satan in Lesson 19 are different, but there isn't a moment where he suddenly starts controlling his emotions better. I think there's a lot going on behind the scenes with him as far as his emotional growth and self control are concerned.

Also let's not forget some very important things about Satan that make him, IMO, one of the most interesting characters to work with as a writer:

Satan was never an angel; he had no fall from grace.

Satan was created from Lucifer's wrath---he is literally the product of trauma and self-mutilation.

Satan is significantly younger than his brothers.

He spent the first year of his life more or less trapped in a castle with his deeply emotionally wounded brothers.

He has a deep resentment towards Lucifer that sometimes defies reason---he wishes he didn't dedicate so much of his time and energy to him, but it's basically a compulsion.

He hates his deep association with Lucifer, and he hates that he has a lot in common with him.

And these lead me to some headcanons that live rent-free in my brain every day of my life.

Satan sees himself as a reminder of the Great Celestial War and everything his brothers lost in it, including Lilith.

He is divine retribution against Lucifer for his failure, for leading his brothers to failure, for letting his sister die.

He acts as a counterbalance to Lucifer's pride by bearing the weight of the shame that Lucifer can't fully accept now that he is the Avatar of Pride. Even if Lucifer pushes it out of his mind, Satan never forgets that he failed in the worst way possible.

His biggest aspiration is to become a full and complete person outside of any association he has with Lucifer. He feels like some sort of parasitic tumor that exists only in opposition to his brother, and he wants desperately to escape that role that he feels he was born into.

Anyway, Satan is great, hail Satan, all that good stuff. Did you know I have a lot of thoughts and opinions about Satan? I know, shocking. For more of my takes here's my fic about him (on AO3).

*I think Satan almost metaphorically represents certain elements of autism---emotions that don't come out the way you intend, masking and its limitations, hyperfixations that are barely under control. In Fandom Discourse(TM) there's sometimes a level of focus on more 'cutesy' autistic traits that we find endearing in characters, like social obliviousness and gleefully indulged hyperfixations. But emotional control, emotional masking, emotional seepage, emotional artificiality---these are also real and messy and often times they aren't cute and they're uncomfortable to see in yourself or in someone else. I really don't like diagnosing characters so I'm not about to claim Satan "is" autistic, but as someone who has been called essentially 'spectrum adjacent' by doctors, I relate to the awkwardness and the desire to appear normal despite knowing you're not and emotions spilling out in ugly ways---um. That got really long and personal.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I was a bit surprised to see that mhj specifically said that newjeans had approved the statement saying that belift had copied newjeans' concept with illit. I'm not the type of person that thinks that you're a bitch for asserting position or your value, so this isn't where I'm coming from, but, especially in an industry where it's so rare to see groups say anything negative about other groups, particular junior groups I would think, it was quite the strong, swift position to take. Do you foresee newjeans continuing to engage publicly with this scandal, and how would you think taking an active part in this would affect their brand?

*

Ask 2:

bp in your opinion is there any chance that in this Hybe/MHJ situation there's a buried kind of double-blind motivation?

Like the kind i've seen attributed to E|on Musk, where he creates a big scandal to provide cover when he's doing something much shadier (and then maybe it gets out of hand, like the TwiX thing lol)

You've said you're pretty familar with the corporate side machinations - could Hybe be purposefully airing all this, sure to stick it to MHJ, but also to temporarily drive down stock prices for idk easy shares-repurchasing? Or even allowing a mess they can blame for having to report lower numbers to shareholders for whatever reason: boycott actually impacting profit, hedging against lower-than-predicted bts returning numbers, etc.

Or is this too convoluted of conspiracy thinking and BPD/HYBE/MHJ, and by extension from your recent posts basically 'corporate kpop' entire, are really just that transparent and petty?

*

Ask 3:

Might be a stupid question because I honestly don't have any clue about corporate businesses and how they work. But in the light of this scandal and how BigHit/Hybe developed over the last years: would you say this is what you get when you become too greedy instead of concentrating on what you were good at?

*

Ask 4:

in your opinion, is mhj truly an indispensable part of newjeans creative output? Also, do you see any way that hybe would let newjeans leave with its name and discography if they try to break their contract to go with mhj like some people are saying?

*

Ask 5:

I’m seeing a lot of discussion about whether newjeans will try to leave with mhj and break their contract with hybe, but I don’t see this as a realistic scenario, and I especially don’t see hybe letting them leave with their name and discography. You mentioned that there are a limited set of options now, but is this even one of them? In my mind, newjeans as a concept either stays at hybe, with or without mhj in whatever capacity, or can’t really exist legally

*

Ask 6:

Also this has given everyone (kpop stans, ARMYs, journalists) the go ahead to drag Newjeans in order to "defend" Illit, BTS, Riize, etc by throwing (again) dozens of plagiarism accusations and trying to discredit everything the group has done and achieved. And it was started by Hybe themselves... I have no words, bpp

***

I think these six asks capture most of the talking points in the asks I've received since yesterday, so I'll use these to answer your questions.

The sheer amount of spin happening in the media right now is ridiculous lmaoo. With the mention of BTS in the "escape files", ARMYs have predictably moved from shady bystanders to actively joining in the negative spin, spreading rumor articles and many are now attacking the girls themselves. But honestly, this is nothing less than what I expected. NewJeans is the most popular group in Korea, the 2nd most valuable IP only behind BTS, and Min Heejin is the brains behind the operation - an achievement she's insisted on taking full credit for since inception. Leaving the only option for whoever is masterminding this from within and outside HYBE, to destroy her reputation as an executive completely to diminish her value to outside investors, and weaken the fan support for NewJeans given how closely they are already associated with MHJ. And that's what is happening. It impacts every group at HYBE and nearly obliterates the viability of NewJeans.

For HYBE, it's a tolerable loss given there's only one year left before BTS returns and closes that earnings gap in mere months. Whoever took this action sees it simply as resulting in a numerical loss that can be soon corrected, but personally, I disagree, for the same reasons I objected to HYBE's acquisition of SM even though on paper it made numerical sense.

Anon in ask 1: I can understand your surprise but sad as it is to say, I expected that response from MHJ. She's a creative, not a PR exec or an MBA-credentialled suit. I'm not sure how familiar you are with ADOR's press releases in general, but anybody who reads them can tell there's almost no corporate doublespeak, no vague allusions, nothing that shows it's written by a typical media-trained PR person. Which is why most people, including you, take that statement to mean NewJeans agrees with MHJ that Illit copied them (it's a possibility), when in reality the language shows it could refer to them agreeing with MHJ's assertion that HYBE hasn't duly responded to her requests about inter-label discrimination, or other related matters. That's the kind of detail a trained PR person would be sure to include, to minimize the fallout to NJ, but just as with the press release on Cookie, the one on Minji's rival sasaeng, the response to Hyein's veneer rumours, and practically every press release ADOR has put out, the language is unsophisticated.

"Do you foresee newjeans continuing to engage publicly with this scandal, and how would you think taking an active part in this would affect their brand?"

NewJeans has so far not engaged publicly with this scandal. MHJ has mentioned them to signal any separation between them will likely be contested. It's leverage. If they do take an active part in this scandal, it will completely destroy their brand. Like, it's already on life support. Anything more and we might as well say their last rites.

*

Anon in ask 2: I'd say that's not a conspiracy exactly but it is kinda pushing it. Anytime there's a stock dip it's a buying opportunity, and HYBE is always guaranteed to be a Buy so long as BTS is slated to return within 12 months of the stock event. But we simply don't have any clear indications that's the case now given the timing doesn't quite line up. If anything, that is more like the 4th order side-effect.

And yeah, people on the corporate side, not just in k-pop, are many times just that petty. But it's also true this case has been sensationalized in particular ways to appeal to k-pop stans specifically.

*

Anons in ask 4 & 5: The options available are:

MHJ leaves HYBE and NewJeans stays in HYBE

MHJ leaves HYBE and NewJeans leaves with her

MHJ stays in HYBE but is demoted from her exec role and NewJeans stays in HYBE

MHJ stays in HYBE and keeps her exec role and NewJeans stays in HYBE

None of these options are good, but the worst of these evils is option 2. If the members attempt to leave with her, there's no pretty way to say this, but they'll be done. I'm not even going to waste time writing all the ways HYBE and k-pop stans as a whole will rip them to shreds, all I'll say is that whoever is attached to these girls should consider taking a 6 months sabbatical away from k-pop entirely once that news breaks. The law is not on their side and public opinion, especially after all the 'leaks' and spin from HYBE in the last 72 hours, certainly isn't on their side either. It would be career suicide.

"in your opinion, is mhj truly an indispensable part of newjeans creative output?"

Personally, I think yes. Every label at HYBE had similar initial monetary investment as NewJeans and ADOR had, and other groups from the Big 3 have had even bigger investments and resources at their disposal. There isn't a single group, both within HYBE and outside HYBE, that has yielded the same results as NewJeans in the same period of time. Illit comes close, but even with their achievements they haven't reached the same (positive) notoriety as NewJeans did at debut. All HYBE groups have access to HYBE's youtube channel, connections and resources, and yet the achievements of BOYNEXTDOOR, LE SSERAFIM, ENHYPEN, and even ILLIT, are nowhere near comparable to that of NewJeans. And I agree with MHJ that she's the primary reason why. Having access to resources is only one part of the equation. How you allocate those resources and what you do with it is far more important, and this is where MHJ and ADOR excels relative to other sub-labels.

NewJeans without MHJ will not be nearly as threatening to everyone else in k-pop, and I suspect this is one reason there have been calls for her to be removed from managing the group since their debut.

*

Anons in ask 3 & 6: Yeah there's a fair bit of greed on show here. Generally, for a lot of people in this industry, greed is good... unless the greedy person is a woman. Because the only thing more central to nasty corporate tussles like this, more than greed, is ego.

I'm not trying to play the gender card, but sometimes I do wonder why there are no articles like this about people like Jaden Jeong and Simon Jakob given the reputation those men have in corporate circles, where top officials (in this case, within HYBE) are saying they cannot possibly work with MHJ because she is "overly and excessively opinionated". I'm highlighting this article because despite the initial paragraphs of spin, that bit is the only thing consistent with MHJ's claim that this attack from HYBE started because she'd filed a whistleblowing report on toxic inter-label competition and followed up an email that said quote:

"..is this deliberate obtuseness and unapologetic behaviour consistent with HYBE's founding philosophy of rebelling against unfair practices in the entertainment industry?"

I mean... in corporate Korea, I can see how they were sick of her shit and it was only a matter of time before she got the boot.

The insidious thing about spin is that it mixes the truth with lies, making it easy for people to accept it wholly. It's entirely possible that MHJ wants more compensation, more autonomy and independence, feels that Belift and other companies borrowed her ideas without full credit, and that she was unsupported by HYBE HQ. It's entirely possible that she took actions such as monitoring fan feedback of the group(s) she suspects and filing a whistleblowing report to build a case - according to both MHJ and others at HYBE, these are complaints she's apparently had since last year, but none of those things would justify HYBE's response nor is it enough to turn people against her.

What I find particularly interesting about this case, is that everything that decisively incriminates her of the more sensational and sinister allegations, comes from the person of VP L or CEO A - a person who only joined ADOR in January 2024, shortly after which HYBE received their first tip-off that MHJ was planning to escape. It's VP L who titles documents with the equivalent of "TOP SECRET DO NOT TOUCH" on company computers... the same guy that's supposedly a double agent working in favour of MHJ and ADOR but is situated within ADOR, not HYBE, where simple logic shows he'd be most useful. Unless he's situated right where he's supposed to be.

Anyway...

HYBE has requested for a shareholder meeting on April 30th where they'll likely table the motion for MHJ to resign regardless of what's found in the audit. Far as I know, she's completed the audit questionnaire but not surrendered her laptop as HYBE has requested. Given the play is for HYBE to kick her out while continuing to manage NJ, I can see how she'd rather die than surrender her laptop and hand over her ideas (and potentially incriminating info) to HYBE on a silver platter for them to use in her wake.

Every way this shakes out is bad news for HYBE groups IMO. So long as NewJeans keeps quiet and sides with HYBE, they'll be somewhat okay. But regardless of the fallout from HYBE cannibalizing itself, all HYBE groups have no choice but to take it on the chin and bide their time until BTS comes back to capture the attention back to them.

I hope I answered all your questions. IMO there's really no point talking more about this until there's a firm conclusion.

[goodluckclove]

So apparently when I drink enough to start posing real questions (such as "what spec fiction author would be the most fun to party with"), my body reacts poorly and I end up with insomnia. I've been lying in bed for about four and a half hours just pondering before I realized I'm an adult and I can just change locations.

I'm in the living room now. Bob seems happy for the attention. And I'd like to share my central ponder of the night, centered around how much of a bummer it is that like most of the online queer centered spaces I've seen consist of rampant in-fighting.

Stay with me here. Seriously this is a long one I'm very tired.

I'm not coming from some nonsense centrist place of no conflict ever. I just feel like so much queer conversation I see is either vague blanket support, or a massive thread that somehow starts in the middle of an argument. And as someone who is not necessarily old, but definitely not active online, this is super isolating.

I think it's a really interesting anthropological concept that as queer culture develops it becomes more niche and simultaneously more vague. That's cool. The downside is that I am now the human embodiment of that Griffin Mcelroy meme about not knowing what something is and being too afraid to ask. And every time I see someone who is clearly super passionate about some queer take, I really want to ask why they think what they do or how they came to that conclusion, but holy shit that feels dangerous.

Like it's not an immediate invalidation to ask why. More modern queer identities are so varied there's a very good chance two people experiencing the same circumstances might have two radically different reasons and ways to get there. I am at the point where I no longer think anyone can speak for our collective queer experience unless they use the broadest of terms. I'm genuinely just grieving that we're immediately giving each other shit over variations instead of getting together and comparing notes.

Oh but Google is free - fuck off. Like straight up. That shit flies for the surface level information and it's crazy to me that more people don't acknowledge that. Google is free for people who think there's only one intersex variation. Google is free for people who really want to know if scissoring is real. At this point in society there are multiple generations of queer people (or people in general) with multiple senses of online validity. Someone who grew up in the 90s might trust a more traditional source for information rather than a google doc or Tumblr post or reddit thread or tiktok, and by that logic they aren't really going to be convinced by any Googling they do for a lot of new cultural shifts.

Like I was a teen with shit opinions. I was snarky about "transtrenders" who used neopronouns. Not online or to anyone - I wasn't a complete dipshit - but I definitely thought it. If I posted about it online I'd say all the regular arguments and the opposing side would say all their regular arguments and we'd block each other and accomplish nothing.

Which would be a massive shame because one of my shining qualities is my ability to admit when I'm wrong. There's a much better alternate reality in which I did post about how people who think you don't need dysphoria to be trans are cringe, and some kind trans person asked why I thought that. Because then I'd say something like because everyone wants to be trans that doesn't mean you're just allowed to say you are.

And then they'd probably be like yeah maybe you should talk to more people about this and consider where you're coming from, saving me like ten years of gatekeeping myself from my own identity.

Like I tried the Googling thing for something niche that I'm curious about. I learned about aplatonicism recently and was like huh. New info. But every post I see in the aplatonic tag is already angry about being aplatonic so I'm not about to take space with my own curiosity.

But after scrolling a Reddit thread I am more confused than ever. I don't know what a squish is, friends. I mean, I know the definition - but my brain doesn't think of human relationships like that. People were talking about having friends that they love but they don't have squish love or friend love, also aplatonic describes some autistic people, also also aplatonic is a word specifically used for aromantic people who don't want QPRs. I don't think any of this is wrong. I do think that it is so much information that it cancels out in my brain, and now I kind of just think aplatonic is a word that means things sometimes. And that's not what I want.

I'm being self indulgent because I don't think anyone is reading this far and I'm feeling relaxed because I took an Adderall earlier today and I feel like I can actually think for the first time in months. I want to ask some aplatonic people what they think "friend love" is supposed to be compared to what they feel for their friends, if they have them. If they don't have a need for friends, I am very curious to know what they think about the friend list function on virtually every social media website and game. Like this is not a bit. I've been awake in bed for almost five hours and it occurred to me that might be a bummer. Maybe some people use them out of convenience, but I think it would be interesting to meet a person who's so staunch in their philosophy that they just don't. I feel like there's probably a lot of aplatonic people who are like just straight up not online and don't even know that's their vibe.

I want to ask some loveless aros what they consider to be positive emotions or motivations in their lives. Like I'm so full of love for virtually anything that the concept of not having that emotion across the board makes me wonder if something else fills the space. Like do loveless aros love ideas? Do they love their hobbies? I don't think aromantics are sociopaths at all, I've just seen people who both say that loveless is reclaiming a slur and also defining a lack of love and I'd like to know more about both.

I saw a post on my feed about how anyone should be allowed to get gender affirming surgery even if they aren't trans. I don't disagree. That argument has honestly never occured to me and I really wish I could've asked why someone would want that. Because "a cis man might want a vagina" is valid, but doesn't fly in terms of actual logistics. You have to make so many appointments and wait for so long and answer so many questions. I'm aware my opinion on this is heavily biased by being Agender and actively ridding my body of as many secondary sexual characteristics as quickly as possible. I am not immune to the propaganda of my own identity. I would just like to have an in-depth conversation with a cis man that wants a vagina and ask why and also if they think it's worth the maintenance. Because, like, there IS maintenance.

I'm not doing it to judge. If this hypothetical man is like "yeah I know I'd have to keep up with the upkeep and maybe wear hormone patches from now on, but structurally it makes sense for my view of my own manhood", I'd be like "that's really interesting, I considered adding a penis to my architecture but then decided that it would probably be a sensory nightmare for me. I'm surprised so many cis men can ride a bike."

And then maybe he'd say "where do you think cis men put their pensises when they ride a bike?" To which I would say "I don't know the mechanics of a penis and at this point the thought of learning in which direction I'd have to stick my hypothetical one makes me anxious."

And then he'd kind of scoff bemusedly, and we'd go out together for banh mis.

I think at this point in my rant I'm realizing that my major issue here is that the world as a whole is not friendly to genuine curiosity. I also get triggered by hate bait, and it bothers me that I can't pull the subject of the cringe fuel aside and be like what are you doing? Like, not judgementally. I want you to explain to me what you are doing and why it's important to you.

I don't think it'll convince me every time, but I'm pretty sure I'd be like "ah, okay. Makes sense." And then move on with a greater understanding of the growth of humanity.

And also we can get banh mis.

I really want a bahn mi but I can't bike to get one or else my guts will fall out. Gender affirming surgery is a mistake for the sole reason that it prevents me from yummy Vietnamese sandwiches.

Kidding. I'm kidding, not having a uterus anymore has been pretty cool.

The sun came up.

Fuck.

[northoftheroad]

I know I just gave you an ask and you must be super busy, but what do you think abt Dickory vs Dickbabs?? Personally, I think Dickory is way better but in Tom Taylor’s run and the current runs, Dickbabs is the main ship. Anyways, I just wanted your opinion on it :D

Also thoughts on Tom Taylor’s run? I thought about it and I kinda have mixed feelings. On one hand, it’s great for fanservice and has some super cute and funny moments. On the other hand, the characters and their relationships are kinda one dimensional. Thoughts?? Take your time and thanks if you answer! <3

Hi, As I've said before (and I'm going to quote myself from older posts here quite a lot, if you happen to come across them 😉 ), I'm fine with both pairings as long as it's well written. I guess a lot of fans lean towards preferring what they grew up with and such like. I'm old enough to have started reading Batman when the idea of another Robin than Dick Grayson was ludicrous, and read the NTT in my slightly older teens. So I definitely have a nostalgic feeling for Dick/Kory.

I think they worked well because they were so different; they each learned from the other and grew as people. Being with Kory helped Dick become more emotionally open after some ten years of growing up with Bruce and Alfred. In NTT # 26, he talks about how he is too introspective and that Batman taught him to be guided by his head, not his heart. And in turn, I'd say Kory learned not always to be ruled by her emotions, and Dick helped to ground her on Earth. They had their fair share of problems, one obstacle was their different approach to relationships and sex. While Starfire is fine with being married to another guy, for reasons of state, but live with Dick, it takes Dick quite some time to come to terms with that he loves Kory enough to get over that. Dick and Kory were one of the most stable and loving couples in DC for over ten years. Now, in superhero comics, writers and/or editoral make the rules. There were plans to let them get married, but as far as I remember a change of editorial led to that being scrapped. We got Dick being raped by Mirage instead, and eventually, the couple split up. Disregarding that, I think you could very well see them growing apart. They were young when they started dating. I guess they were a couple for two-three years? At that age, it's not unreasonable to think they developed in ways that made them decide to go their separate ways.

If Dick and Kory were good because they were poles apart, I'd say Dick and Barbara are more alike. They have both worked with Batman; they are originally street-level detectives and athletes; they are used to work in similar ways. I could see them as a slightly more mature couple than Dick and Kory, being more in sync and relaxed with each other because they have similar backgrounds and shared experiences. (Which, of course, could make them a more boring couple in fiction…) I'm not a fan of the retcon that they've been friends since school, but they did work occasionally together as youngsters, so it can still make sense to write them as really good friends, imo. I honestly think Dick and Kory have been written as a good couple more than Dick and Barbara. Maybe things had been different if Devin Grayson had got the chance to tie up her long arc with Dick in Nightwing vol 2. Not that I think her run was without its problems, but it would presumably have been better if she had got the opportunity to finish what she started. The ending (or rather the absence of a decent ending) of her run, and the fact that the first Nightwing stories after Infinite Crisis were downright cringeworthy, has soured my impression of her writing of Dick/Babs. So I guess editorial decisions have ruined both Dick's most important relationships…?

I don't know if you're new to the debate about Dick/Kory vs. Dick/Barbara? Because it's sometimes a heated discussion, with people claiming he doesn't deserve either of them, he mistreated one or the other etc.

(Here's what Barbara herself had to say about Dick, by the way. In Birds of Prey # 71. By Gail Simone, art Ron Adrian and Rob Lea.)

I can definitely work myself up too much about fictional characters myself, but there are a few things I try to keep in mind… Fictional characters have no agency. Creators and editoral use them to tell stories (and sell stuff…). Don't get angry at fictional characters or, even worse, real people who love them. Also, reading comics is a lot about filling in the blanks between panels, and different readers can put a book down with very different pictures of what has happened. You can absolutely find examples where Dick has been written as behaving badly against both of them. Sometimes, it's a reasonable part of the writer's long game, sometimes it actually is bad and out-of-character writing. (And if you look, you can find examples where the women have been written as behaving badly against Dick too.)

Honestly, the most important thing for me when it comes to Dick and relationships is that he takes them very seriously indeed. Dick has not had a lot of one-night stands and is on record as saying he's not comfortable with casual sex. When he had one with Helena/Huntress, he wanted to talk about starting a relationship just because of that. When he (fake) married a girl to try to expose her as a murderer, he still avoided to sleep with her, and then he offered to stay with her when the case was closed, because he felt bad for deceiving her. Outside the blasted annual, I don't know of any time he was written as (knowingly) having sex with someone while he's in a relationship with another. Girls tend to break up with him, not the other way around. I'm sure other people have different ideas, and it can vary between writers and eras, but I think you can read Dick as someone who likes to be in a relationship, to be intimate with someone – but who's not into casual sex.

When it comes to Tom Taylor's run, I pretty much agree with you. I don't hate it, as some people seem to do, but I think the art has been the best part. It's mostly been pretty meh, TT has at several times spoken about how Nightwing is an A-lister among DC superheroes, but I don't think he shows it. And here and there he produces some really nice panels/pages (sometimes it's up to debate whether the characters are out of character or not). We're heading towards the end of his and Bruno Redondon's run and they've hinted he's going to stop being Nightwing. As if we need a third period of Dick not being Nightwing in ten years… 🙄 The best writer of Nightwing vol 4 was Sam Humphries, in my opinion. Unfortunately, it was very short.

Ok, this post has definitely gone on long enough... but if you want to go deeper into the rabbit hole, here are some earlier posts.

[juju-or-anya]

https://www.tumblr.com/juju-or-anya/756390418668732417/every-time-someone-says-eloise-isnt-a-real?source=share

This is so damaging!! You really hate white not skinny girls right???? The fact that Pen is white she can't suffer. Hacibg the privilege of being white make her suffering less?? Let me tell you. Pen is whire but she use consider fat. She suffer WAY much than kate who is indian bur she is skinny. Fat people suffer way more than skinny bitches who cheat their sister.

And again we bring up weight when no one has talked about weight.

If Claudia Jessie or Phoebe Dynevor were the one who plays Penelope, just as Penelope was introduced to me on the show, she would do exactly the same thing, lie, use the people she loves, play the victim, I wouldn't like her either. I can give you a million examples of thin CHARACTERS that I don't like for similar and worse reasons than Penelope, because my problem is the characters and not the actors who play them.

But since you're bringing up weight and race, let's talk about weight and race.

Let's start with race, the truth is I don't know if you are white, black, Latina, Asian or whatever, maybe you are white and you don't realize the privilege of being a white person over other races, much less the privilege of being a white woman, I don't know, I'm just guessing and I could be wrong, I apologize if I am.

Penelope would not have had the same opportunities if she were a black woman, not even in the fictional world of Bridgerton. Does that mean she doesn't have the right to suffer? Of course not, she has the right to feel sad, angry, frustrated, but it doesn't give her the right to put her own feelings on someone else and use her privileges on the other person, knowing that that other person does not have the same privileges.

And on the subject of weight, does being a plus size person give you the right to be a bitch about her because since she's a plus size person, whatever she does isn't wrong just because she's big? Because I find it fucking hypocritical. It's the justification that thin people and the media have given for years against plus size people, it's hypocritical that they now use it in the opposite way.

Am I saying that Penelope doesn't have the right to feel bad about being plus size? I'm not saying that, I'm saying that being plus size doesn't give you the right to be fucking shitty about it.

Penelope is a bad friend, quite a victim and doesn't accept when she's wrong. Does that mean she's the worst person in the world and the worst character in history? No, I have thousands of other worse examples and if you want I'll tell you about the thin ones, since it seems to be more important to you that the people I hate are thin than why I don't like them.

Penelope's problem isn't her body, because as I said before she could be played by a Victoria's Secret Angel and have the same development and writing and still be awful.

And it's not Nicola's problem, it's a problem with the character development and initial writing. Nicola can use her acting skills in an incredible way but if the character is written and developed poorly, there's not much you can do.

And I've said it before, that I don't like Penelope, it doesn't mean that I hate Nicola. I separate the actor from the character, from what I see, she seems nice, I judge some of her public displays but nothing that I don't do with other famous people, like Taylor Swift, Dua Lupa, Natalie Portman or Amy Schumer. I criticize them not for their bodies, I criticize their political positions, decisions, opinions, but I never get into their physique, because they are human descendants, I've said it thousands of times, I have no right to judge another person's body, just as they have no right to judge mine. I don't do what I don't want done to me. But you guys are breaking the balls that I don't have, that I don't like Penelope for her body. Because clearly I can't not like her for her attitude and decisions.

To be clear, I don't like Penelope, but it has nothing to do with Nicola or her body, I love Claire from Derry Girls, I like Nicola's performance in Derry Girls, I don't like Penelope. Punto.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Spoilers for Tevinter Nights and today's reveal on upcoming DA4 companions. Educational review of The Wigmaker/Lucanis Dellamorte character.

I'm happy that I called Neve Gallus and Lace Harding as companions in DA4. Neve looks amazing!

Really really wish I'd been wrong about Lucanishit Dellamorte.

The story 'The Wigmaker' in Tevinter Nights of the so called 'mage-killer' (who would actually be Marius or Tessa thank you very much) was one of the most poorly characterized pieces of crap I've ever read in my entire 12 years as an editor.

And trust me, please, when I say I've had to edit some real stinkers.

Agree with me or not, I honestly don't care. I know I'm right. Why?

Because there's science behind what works in writing good characters, good settings, good (insert a part of a story).

Editors like me exist to gently (or sometimes not so gently) smack an author over the head with the 'no, that's a ridiculous idea, perhaps tweak it to this instead' stick. And that character was ridiculous on so many levels.

I've already had people get rudely in my face for sharing a personal (and professional) opinion about Lucanishit today.

Reading is subjective. But what that actually means, is that what I like in a story, and what another person likes in a story will be different.

It's not a statement on professional quality of the story in question. That's a completely different topic.

It's very possible to enjoy a story with bad any of the above. Especially if you love reading and weren't foolish enough to become an editor like me.

Word to the wise, if you love reading? Don't become an editor. You end up developing all these pesky standards and knowledge about how story works (and how it doesn't).

It's even possible to enjoy a story that's poorly written or edited. But that enjoyment, which, yes, is absolutely subjective, is still not the same as whether the character, story, setting, or writing are actually good in the professional sense.

I have several NYT bestselling clients. I've worked in and around trad pub and indie pub for more than a decade. How story works is absolutely one of my AuDHD special interests, and as such, I've studied the nuts and bolts of it like I do any of my special interests. I'm not talking out of my ass here.

The fact is that some things work in writing, and some things don't. Some things work in particular types of stories, and some things don't. It's just the nature of the beast.

Seriously. Without being pissed off at me for disliking a story you may have liked? Think about it and read my professional issues with the character.

Something I feel we, as writers, need to constantly be doing is improving our craft. It always surprises me how many writers just get pissy and attack rather than taking the opportunity to engage in free education.

Because when an experienced professional of any sort breaks something down like this, that's what we're doing. Offering free education. (Tips are very much appreciated.)

This critique is based on the story 'The Wigmaker' in Tevinter Nights where we first meet Lucanis. I really hope the Lucanis we get in game will be different.

In the entirety of the DA series (books, games, comics, everything) have you ever seen an Antivan Crow act like such a chuny, emo edgelord? Nope.

A supposed Antivan Crow strutting around like some arrogant, badly imagined, assassin version of Harry Dresden just doesn't work.

Crows are wraiths. Shadows. The whole point is that no one sees them coming!

They don't advertise like Lucanishit does. Which is why I'd rather hoped it would be his cousin Illario chosen as the romanceable companion. He actually knows how to blend in. Illario spends a lot of the story rightfully calling Lucanis on his bullshit methods.

The first of many editorial hiccups in 'The Wigmaker' is that you really are very unlikely to shove a sword through a wall like that. And a supposedly experienced assassin would probably know that?

Even modern walls have studs and often solid insulation and wires in them.

But we're talking medieval like walls, which tended to be stone or lathe and plaster. Those walls are basically a sandwich of wooden lathes with stone/gravel fill in the middle, then plaster on top. You are not shoving a sword through one. You can barely drill through one with a power drill! Even if you did manage to? It would very likely ruin the blade.

Also, that would not be the shape of the wound if you actually did manage to shove your sword through one of those walls without breaking it and into someone's hand. Because hands have these weird things called bones in them.

Fan art has Crows as more flashy, sure, but in the series itself? The most you see is skin tight clothing and dangerous eyes.

Going up to an innkeeper and bloody advertising that you're a crow? WTAF is that? Lucanishit is supposed to be the grandson of Caterina Dellamorte, First Talon to the Antivan Crows.

A black leather trenchcoat? Really? Really really? And that's just points off on the style factor. Those things became the mark of try-hards a long time ago.

Do you have any idea how noisy those coats are? How much unnecessary weight it would put on a person who is supposed to move silently and unseen? Do you have any clue how noisy those things would be when you took a flying leap like Lucanishit did in 'The Wigmaker?' (Think loud leather wings). How much wind drag there'd be wearing something so ridiculous on a contract? Any clue how hard it would be to reach your weapons under something like that? Ugh. The devil is most certainly in the details, peeps.

Okay, so moving past the utterly ridiculous sartorial choices this so called master assassin wears, he and Illario are loudly talking about being Crows on their way to the mark.

Assassins and Assassination are illegal, y'know? At least Illario tried to blend in. For which Lucanis mocked him.

They get into position, which for some reason is during a hoity toity Tevinter party rather than when the mark was, y'know, alone.

Lucanis does some incredibly unrealistic, noisy acrobatics to get some keys. That by itself I could let slide, rule of cool exists.

But he does it in that ridiculous leather trenchcoat. I don't care how unlikely people are to look up (humans really don't look up very often unless we train ourselves to do so) a giant bat like person flopping around doing acrobatics would be kinda hard to miss.

Then we move on to some murders.

Now, it's part of almost every assassin's creed that you don't harm the innocent or the servants in taking out a mark. It's mentioned a few times about the Crows. Because, again, they're supposed to be the bogeyman in the dark you never see coming.

Lucanis murders a couple of paid guards and doesn't bother to make it clean or hide the bodies.

Finally, we're into the mark's inner sanctum. There's some particularly ghoulish stuff that the mark is guilty of, so I could see why it might annoy someone.

But there they are, two Antivan Crows in a secluded area near the Mark. That, if there were any actual assassins around would've been the end of the story.

But instead of killing the mark and disappearing like any crow should, Lucanis instead decides to make the veil thin enough to allow demons to easily come through.

Into a party of drunk Tevinter mages.

So now instead of a clean, fast kill, we have around 250 possessed mages and enslaved elves. And I think I read somewhere that elves feel being demon possessed is a fate worse than death.

Obviously, this is chaos. Red lyrium somehow acts like red lyrium never has in series, which I could let go because rule of cool.

Lucanishit then proceeds to fight a weird demon possessed mark. (I would point out that in that situation it would've been the demon that killed the mark, not Lucanis.)

But yes, eventually, after torturing red-lyrium Shelob, he pokes it enough to kill it. Which in DA canon doesn't always dispatch the demon back beyond the veil.

Not even gonna go into what intentionally thinning the veil there would do. Aren't people trying to stop that?

Then Lucanis and Illario escape.

Leaving some 248 demon possessed creatures behind at a city estate in the middle of Vyrantium.

Now, like them or not, the nobility are usually the ones who have the resources to hire the crows. So Lucanis has just taken out a large portion of potentially paying clients. That alone would likely be enough to have him removed as a crow in a very final fashion.

And what exactly do y'all think would happen when those demon possessed inevitability get out of the estate?

Innocent people of Vyrantium would be slaughtered. Demons would replicate themselves and further thin the veil.

And it would be the commoners and enslaved people harmed most. Because magisters have the resources to protect themselves from demons.

There is absolutely no mention of Lucanis sticking around to clean up his mess. None.

This is not a good story on the professional level. There are major problems with it.

The writing itself is snappy and catchy. The action is fast enough that if you don't rub two brain cells together, it could be entertaining.

But my editor brain is always on. I literally cannot turn it off anymore.

My eyeballs rolled so much during this story that I'm surprised they didn't fall out and land on the floor.

From everything we know about crow culture from Zevran, from short stories and comics, from the games and bits of Lore, Lucanishit is just so badly characterized it's actually shocking that the same author wrote what is one of my favourite stories in Tevinter nights, which is 'Eight Little Talons' and which also features the crows as crows should be characterized.

I honestly think the only saving of that character for me in the upcoming game will be if someone who has actually read the Dragon Age lore on the Antivan Crows did the writing for him.

I don't even care that he looks a bit like Keanu Reeves, who is one of my all time favourite actors, nor that assassins tend to be some of my favourite classes to play.

Not even that I was really looking forward to playing a Crow again.

Man, if only Viago wasn't with Teia I'd have paid body parts for him as the companion crow (or Teia for that matter). And my polyamorous heart would've exploded in happiness to have them as a team you could potentially be in a polyam relationship with.

If that subtle, wickedly clever old Caterina Dellamorte, Lucanis and Illario's grandmother, who has kept hold of her position as First Talon for so long, saw her grandson acting like that she'd probably do what she did to Emil. (Which, in case you haven't read it, was smash his head in with a heavy handled cane then stab him to death.)

What the hell happened? Were they smoking the Harry Dresden smoke a bit heavily when they wrote 'The Wigmaker?' Some other kind of smoke? Were the editors drunk?

I swear. These things are part of why I keep saying that Bioware needs better developmental and diversity editors.

And no, I'm not talking about me. I would love to get into writing and editing for games. (Side-eyes the last year in the gaming industry. I think?)

But I don't write about Dragon Age and other games in hopes of landing a job. I do it to get these thoughts out of my head. And because I just love gaming. I've been doing it for over 30 years.

But they certainly need somebody.

[ofmossandmist]

Starting (or refreshing) your Spiritual Path

Now that we're beginning the descent into '25, I've been pouring over old notes and journals recently - laughing at mistakes that I thought were tragic and practice-ending, and clearing out old spell jars that were pointless from the start.

That's not to say that they're pointless for everyone! But at that point in my practice, I had no intention or even a true desire for the things I was creating spell jars for - I mean, I did (sort of), but not really. I was simply putting herbs and tiny crystals in jars, sealing them with wax, and essentially forgetting they ever existed.

So while I'm starting the journey of rekindling, reshaping, and revising my spiritual practice, I thought I'd share some lessons that I, so cleverly, decided to learn the hard way.

please keep in mind, these are all my opinions and perceptions, and simply what i've found true for me in my reanalysis of my practice. if this doesn't resonate with you, keep scrolling.

1. Research anything that interests you.

While I was definitely inhaling any and all information I could get my grubby lil paws on back then, I certainly wasn't researching any of it. I wasn't doing the work, I took everything at face value and was simply going through the motions. In other words, I was in "spiritual bypass mode" (this is like doing last night's homework by copying the answers off the person next to you three minutes before class starts). I had no idea what it was that I was actually doing. I thought by making these cute little spell jars and sealing it up with a little prayer inside, I'm good! I did magic! Because at the time I believed that magic is whatever you want it to be.

My pisces sun is so funny sometimes because she'll sit there all innocent-like and wise-lookin, then turn around to reveal the most phfffat, juicy, great-googly-moogly-sized ego out of all the zodiacs. I really took a full five years to work up the courage to even ADMIT TO MYSELF IN. MY. HEAD. that I was struggling and something needed to change. These spell jars that I created for happiness, prosperity, self-love, abundance (and whatever else) actually did the opposite for me. I was severely depressed, broke, and the cherry on top: I genuinely hated myself and who I was becoming.

My point: if you don't research, how do you know what it is you're actually doing? You can *feel* your way through a decent chunk of witchcraft, sure, however the long-term implications of working with things you don't fully understand will show up clearly in hindsight only. Read that again.

(Personally, I research things that will directly affect my practice and if I am interested in knowing more, I dive deeper. I am not telling you that you need to know every single herbal correspondence to each one of the dieties in every pantheon ever to exist just because you want to develop a working relationship with Hestia.)

2. Establish a daily practice.

Once you get step 1 down, the rest becomes butter... sorta. A daily practice was wild to me but I relearned what routines mean. They are simply the things we do in our day-to-day that break up the moments we spend in our head. NOT necessarily a to-do list timed to the minute. Meaning: just try shit. Do the things and then learn from said things. Fuck things up just to learn how to put them back together. Ignore the trends and focus on what you want to see for yourself. Your practice can be as simple as brushing your teeth in the morning and poppin an always-classy-double-finger-gun at the mirror for some quick self-love ORRRRRR as intimate as a fullout 37-step, 2.5 hour glow-up designed to eliminate your pores and your enemies. Ya feel? Just try something and see what works for you.

3. Find Community.

This is my number one personal biggest nope. Don't get me wrong, there are times when hermitude is the way to go - but growing in your practice is MUCH easier* when you have a supportive community of people.

I didn't realize the importance of this when I first began to retreat into reclusivity. I thought I could fix my depression (and my life) with half a snickers bar and a borrowed cup of sugar to sweeten the absolute lemons that were getting yeeted at me - there were only three people in my life at this time, but they pushed me to think deeper, differently, and beyond what I thought I was capable of. You can take yourself a great distance on your own, but you'll always go further with support.

*easy is relative. was it easy to admit that I was a terrible friend for many, many years? no. but I became a better friend because of it. it's a lot easier to keep friends when they actually like you. Get me?

4. Gratitude AND Grace.

Oooof, I really struggle to take the time to stop and appreciate all that I am already blessed with in the moment. I get so caught up in "making room for what's to come" and preparing for the future that I'll forget what's already been in my life.

I have a lot of shame around gratitude that stems from my childhood. I was consistently told I wasn't "grateful enough" for all I was given, (there's a lot to unpack there) but what I've learned is that gratitude shows instead of tells, and it shows the Universe that we are aligned with the energy of receiving. That we are ready for 'the next' because we are fully content and comfortable with where we are and what we have.

In the shadow of Grace, lives Shame. It's a line I often use as a compass to lead the way back to allowing myself the grace to make mistakes. To allow my practice to look imperfect. After all, that's why it's called a practice.

5. Change is inevitable.

You already know this, but it's strange to look back on the beginning on your path from the middle of it. Your gifts and interests will grow and evolve and shift and shrink with you. Be open to that change, it's what will keep you centered, fresh, and grounded. Evolution is natural, lean into the evolution of your personal practice.

I think this can lead back to the whole grace thing. For those of us often scared by change, it can be a shocking thing - it may even seem toxic when things change. During times like that, I (personally) turn to meditation to tune inwards. I go deeper to better understand why certain things are resonating with me and if I truly want to incorporate new energy into my spiritual path.

idk how to end this. like what am I supposed to say??? Do you want my whole life story?? This was only supposed to be some cute little "tips and tricks" guide. I just dropped some deep lore pretty casually up there. That whole ego shit? Do you think I wanted to type that??? You've gotten enough from me. Leave me be. Go learn shit, go start your own things. What are you still doing here? Oh, and by the way, you are not obligated to do anything the way you see it online OR IN BOOKS. You do not have to have an aesthetic practice. Your practice is defined by you alone.

So anyways, kids. Do school, stay drugged and fuck your vegetables.

-Moss

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

🎵 Hope in Work and Joy in Leisure

4. "Because cynical advertising yuppies erected a *deconstructed* version of it."

THE DESERTER - "That's right. Some *advertising* cockroaches erected a cynical, *deconstruction* of it. We tore it down with honest working class plastic explosives -- and there it is again..." He shakes his head in disgust.

"Art is a bourgeois establishment. It's an affront to humanity. Every gallery should be bulldozed and the artists should all be given 30 years of hard labour in Yekokataa."

REACTION SPEED [Easy: Success] - Wait, the bullet hole in Filippe's heart! The statue had been shot -- that was him!

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Success] - It had to be, he's already proven capable of taking a far more complicated shot from here.

"It was you. You shot the statue -- there was a bullet hole in his heart..."

"That's it for the statue then. Tell me, Mr. Dros…"

THE DESERTER - "I did." He nods. "A needless, sentimental gesture. I should have spared the bullet for a deformed monster of liberal capitalism. Shameful really..."

+5 XP

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes. Shameful." The lieutenant takes a quick note. "So many others to *punish* over the years -- isn't that right, detective?" He turns to you.

2. "That's it for the statue then. Tell me, Mr. Dros…"

THE DESERTER - "The fat Union-man let them put it there. Corrupt as he is. Probably got a fat check for it too, shared with *the law*..."

AUTHORITY [Medium: Success] - Accusations of corruption. Push them aside with a sharp change of topic, officer! Put the heat on *him*.

REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success] - Hmm... he keeps having *opinions* about the Union's leadership.

3. "You mentioned the Union is social-democratic -- and Mr. Claire a farce of a social-democrat."

THE DESERTER - "Another hideous disappointment..." He pokes at the ash: "Unions are the *real* enemy; the true enemy of the proletariat, placating the masses."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Disappointment -- so personal. He displays a familiarity with the Union's top brass.

"Who's a disappointment -- Evrart Claire?"

"Got it."

THE DESERTER - "That deformed toad? I wouldn't expect him to wipe his own ass. I mean the *brains* of the operation. The smart one."

REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success] - Edgar!

"You mean Edgar, Evrart's brother?"

"Doesn't Evrart run the Union?"

THE DESERTER - The old man chortles with a nod. "He talks a big game about *uprising* and *social base* -- they must have sent the smart one to some University in Le Jardin where it's 'alienation' this and 'hegemony' that..."

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - He's been sweet-talked by this Edgar. They must've met in person for such animosity to have developed.

"We're not the first people you've met from the city, are we?"

"Okay, got it."

THE DESERTER - "You can't live alone..." He's stopped poking at the ash now, just shakes his head.

KIM KITSURAGI - "The Claires wouldn't miss a man hidden in their own back yard -- not all this time. Nothing happens in Martinaise without them knowing."

LOGIC [Easy: Success] - Of course. Maybe the Claires asked him to...

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Don't go straight for the kill, exhaust everything else first, soften him up...

"Have you approached them?"

"Mr. Dros, did you kill the Krenel mercenary for the Claires? To incite a riot?" (Proceed.)

THE DESERTER - "I haven't approached anyone! I've hid. It was Edgar who came to me."

KIM KITSURAGI - "How did he know you were here?"

THE DESERTER - "He didn't just stumble in like an oaf," he nods to you. "He figured it out. Some kids told him about a monster on the island. I told you, he has brains." He points to the path leading to the tower.

"Stepped right off the boat and walked down where you came. I even kept the door open for him -- thought he was a man of the left. Wouldn't rat me out."

He shrugs. "I was right about one of those things."

"Have you approached them?"

"When was this?"

"What did you talk about?"

"Mr. Dros, did you kill the Krenel mercenary for the Claires? To incite a riot?" (Proceed.)

THE DESERTER - "Twenty years ago. Neither of them could *walk* now, could they? They were less fat then."

LOGIC [Easy: Success] - That's around the time the Claires came to power.

3. "What did you talk about?"

THE DESERTER - "Edgar did the talking. Paid his *respects*, like I were a fossil in a uniform. Offered platitudes about *the struggle*, flaunted his pink degree. Even quoted Mazov."

"Never trust a social democrat who quotes Mazov..." he suddenly remembers: "Oh, and charity too. They love their charity -- offered me blankets and social housing. I still have the gas cooker he brought."

4. "And he let you be here?"

THE DESERTER - "*Let* me be here?" He looks around. "The ZoC is an unlawful successor of the Commune of Revachol. We took this fortification from the loyalists. Even the Claires understand this..."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - They let him be here. 'Understanding' was a courtesy -- but why such a courtesy?

5. "Mr. Dros, did you kill the Krenel mercenary for the Claires? To incite a riot?" (Proceed.)

THE DESERTER - "You know why I killed that fucker, droite..." He shakes his head. "As to Edgar, I'm not doing anything for that swine again."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Again? What have you done for Edgar before?"

THE DESERTER - "Tried teaching him some Mazovian socio-economics. They didn't stick. We parted ways." He coughs.

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Okay, he didn't do the hanged man for them. But he's insinuating something.

DRAMA [Challenging: Success] - There is more here, you can feel it. He was not outright lying but almost...

4. [Logic - Legendary 14] What was the deal between him and Edgar?

+2 He shot the statue. +2 Talked to Evrart about previous forewoman.

LOGIC [Legendary: Success] - The connection comes to you, like a splash of cold water. Dark, cold water...

"Twenty years ago, when you met Edgar. The Claires didn't run the Union yet, did they?"

THE DESERTER - "Heh..." A sputter from the old man.

LOGIC - He acknowledges it. Here we go, a twist, behind the dark bend...

"Who *did*?"

THE DESERTER - "That bourgeois cow... Tiphaine Holly was her name." He narrows his eyes. "Licked the rich man's hand every time he came to town. Never seen a labour leader so hot on mutual cooperation..."

"And money -- she liked that too. That Holly was a real bridge-builder and a deal-maker..." His eyes glisten suddenly, with hatred.

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - Bordering on sentimentality, it drips out of him. Tempered by something familiar to you. A familiar rage.

"She was also a woman, wasn't she? Like that Klaasje..."

"And then she just... disappeared."

THE DESERTER - "She was. And she was real soft on those money-men. Had a Barbara Muskova bag over her shoulder that she liked to bring to work..."

"And then she just... disappeared."

THE DESERTER - "Called in they say -- on the eve of battle. Ran away. Vanished like a piss-stain..." He squints and smiles at the black logs.

LOGIC - No. That's not quite it, is it?

KIM KITSURAGI - "Did she?" The lieutenant feels it too, in his black gaze. "They say her *daughter* called in, not her personally. But that wasn't really her daughter, was it?"

THE DESERTER - "No, I guess it was not..." You could swear you see the embers glow again, under his eyes on the dust.

"Edgar had someone make the call -- why is that, Mr. Dros?"

THE DESERTER - "She couldn't make the call herself."

LOGIC - Here it is. The bend in the river...

"Why?"

THE DESERTER - "Because she was dead."

"How come?"

Say nothing.

THE DESERTER - "The cow caught a bullet in her right lung, fell into the canal grasping her tit and drowned. Or bled -- hard to say. It was a sloppy job. And a moving target."

"She was going home, waddling. Dressed in yellow. Drunk like she often was. The ruins were black around her and she had a yellow leather bag under her arm. She tried to cross the canal."

"Heading home to Grand Couron or Betancourt... Some place like that. Where they build those new batiments for the people who flourish in the hell around her. And the ruins..."

"You killed her?"

"You shot her."

"It was you." (Make a motion, like shooting a rifle.)

THE DESERTER - "*Someone* shot her," he shrugs. His eyes grow cold suddenly. "Or maybe the cow just fell. My memory is full of holes. All I know is..."

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - Another, big spike of rage. Different from the one he has for her...

THE DESERTER - "Nothing changed. Not in the *material base*, not in the *hegemony*, there was no uprising. Just words... The Union fizzled, sogged. Nothing came of it. Nothing."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Edgar didn't keep his part of the deal."

THE DESERTER - "Heh..." A sputter again, nothing more.

KIM KITSURAGI - "If you were to testify to this -- give the RCM something on Edgar -- you could walk." The lieutenant says in a voice even calmer, as if it were nothing at all.

"We would strike everything you've done and process you as a POW. You were in a war. You were on assignment. We could even extradite you to the Samaran People's Republic."

+1 Reputation

THE DESERTER - "A degenerate workers' state? Goat shit? No, thank you. I'm Revacholian," he spits. "My days are short. I will rot away here -- in a Moralintern cell. I will not testify to anything." He coughs.

SUGGESTION [Formdiable: Success] - C'mon. Just a little. You're buddies.

"You can tell a comrade. It won't be *that* usable."

"But you did *do* it."

"Okay then. That's that." (Point to your head.) "But I know."

THE DESERTER - "I haven't lived and fought for forty years to end up as a collaborationist. I've heard it -- on Channel 8, 40AM and Le Canal du Crime...""

"Everyone is a blobber in this world. Everyone betrays everyone. They're all already locked up -- for betrayal. The best ones, the ones with heart, were slaughtered, trampled..." He looks to the city.

Secret task complete: What happened to the previous forewoman?

+30 XP

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - The same old freezing hatred.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - There is *plenty* here to work with once he's in custody -- and the lieutenant knows it. He gives you a little nod to proceed.

4. "By the 'cock parading in his colourful uniform,' you mean *René*?"

THE DESERTER - "Every *fucking* morning, for thirty-four years..." He grinds his teeth in rage. "Throwing that ball. One ball against the other... I've always loathed that game. That is *not* a working class game. I don't care what they say on Radio June."

"Royalist ghouls play it like it was *life itself*! Click-clack," he makes the sound of balls connecting, "across the water each day. And that uniform, like a parrot's plumage! I won't even mention that he's a traitor to his *race*. A pétanque maniac *race traitor*."

Just nod.

"Now I don't know about..."

"Whoa-whoa. Let's back off before you get too agitated."

THE DESERTER - "I remember him..." He points to his black eye. "I remember him from *La Noce* -- not him personally, his make and model. There were tens of thousands of them. I thought we took them all out before the liberals came to their rescue. We missed one..."

"*That* one." With his shaky finger he points to the city, toward the crater near the plaza where a lonely pine tree stands.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Challenging: Success] - There doesn't seem to be a single person under the pine today. Not even Gaston, alone.

"There's no one there..."

Just nod.

THE DESERTER - "Fat and plump, like a pheasant..." He does not hear you. "Just *begging* to be popped off." A grin stretches across his face and he says very softly: "Please, Mr. Dros. Shoot me."

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - He whispers with such predatory hunger it borders on *longing*.

"You'd like to kill him?"

"Let's definitely back off now. Calm down."

THE DESERTER - "Not yet. I like to *look* at him strut around, place the cross-hair on his medals." The smile lingers. "Right on his face, and just... fiddle the trigger. *Think* about it. Let the bon-bon melt in my mouth..."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Save the treat for later?" the lieutenant asks cheerfully.

THE DESERTER - "He *is* a juicy bon-bon, that one. A real treat. For the black day -- the blackest. When I put that gun in my own mouth. I think: no, don't waste it. Put this lead in that cock René. For the boys he killed -- and then I look at him throw those balls and I suddenly feel..." He lets out a wistful sigh.

"Better. I even hid one bullet so I'd always have one. For him..." The lines on his face straighten as he looks inland. "Haven't seen him around lately, strutting around... must be down with arthritis. I hope it hurts like hell. I hope he sweats blood."

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - Hearing it may destabilize him -- you sure you've gotten everything from him?

Everything we can. You may have noticed that in his rant earlier, Iosef also mentioned the ravers, Joyce, and Measurehead. However, we didn't pass the right checks to follow him up on that. Still...

"René is dead. He died of old age, a couple of days ago."

"Bad arthritis, yes. He's not playing this week." (Lie.)

"Anyway. Tell me something else, Mr. Dros..."

THE DESERTER - "Heh, yes, of course..." He mutters to himself. "Must be passing a kidney stone. I hope it's excruciating. At least it keeps him from throwing his balls..."

+5 XP

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] - He seems relieved. Could he have been worried for him?

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - He reminds him of himself. The same hatred. The same... you try to think of another thing -- but no, it's just the hatred.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - They are veterans of the same war. Somewhere west, in Coal City his enemy is lying in a dark room, on a metal slider. In L'Ossuaire Municipal, like he will too. Soon. Half of the war between these men is over.

With an agitated gait Satellite-Officer Jean-Heron Vicquemare paces the jetty, 22 kilometres East -- in Martinaise: "What could he *possibly* be doing there for so long," he says.

"Policework?" Patrol Officer Judit Minot replies, with a tinge of hope in her voice. A tinge of warmth too, against the cold air rising from the water…

I mostly just wanted to show you that diatribe. I do feel we owe him the truth.

4. "You know, about that René…"

THE DESERTER - "Yes, where is he?" he tenses up. "I hope he doesn't have *debilitating* arthritis. Or kidney stones. He can still come out to play with balls and get shot in the head, right?"

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Oh my, god, he's even *worried* for him.

"René is dead. He died of old age, a couple of days ago."

THE DESERTER - "No..."

"Yes."

"Just kidding..."

THE DESERTER - "I waited too long…" The old communard looks at you, his blackberry eyes shaking -- in disbelief. "I waited too long and now he's dead."

KIM KITSURAGI - "I'm sorry, Mr. Dros," the lieutenant says, softly. "I understand you knew him for a long time."

THE DESERTER - "They're all dead now." He just shakes his head. "Fuck it..."

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - If he really wanted to kill him so bad, he would have done. There must have been a thousand *black days* on these islands, his health ailing.

"You had a thousand chances to kill him."

"You cared about him?"

"I'm sorry."

"Are you okay Mr. Dros? To go on?"

THE DESERTER - "And I blew them all. What does it matter now? He's gone. Ancient dust."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He reminded him of himself. The same hatred. The same... You try to think of something else, but no, it's just hatred.

2. "You cared about him?"

THE DESERTER - "All human beings care about each other." A little flash of anger. "I cared for... seeing his head explode. And now... god damn this world."

3. "I'm sorry."

THE DESERTER - "Fuck you..." the old communard says -- staring at the ground -- seemingly to the island you're on.

4. "Are you okay Mr. Dros? To go on?"

THE DESERTER - "You think I haven't seen people die? It's all I've seen them do. Fuck and die -- all the other plans we had. To love. To colonize the pale. It's all fucked..."

+5 XP

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - He's not okay. This is just another black day, in a row of black days -- something *strange* is keeping him together, making him endure...

4. "I'm glad we talked about this. Now..."

THE DESERTER - "Glad we talked about *what*?" Another erratic gesture. He's trembling...

Let's finish this update here.

[everythingkimpossible]

what happened and where I've been.

note: feel free to ignore if you don't care.

so it's been a really long time. I've been long debating on whether I should even make this post because I always wanted to avoid bringing anything personal to this blog. however I remember receiving messages from people who told me how much they loved this blog and how much it meant to them. as well as the people I used to talk to that I owe at least an explanation on why I disappeared.

firstly I got burned out, big time. when I started this blog I wanted to create a space where I can find, share, and reblog KP content. it was a huge passion project for me because I absolutely adored the show. my goal was to be the first blog that popped up when you typed in "Kim Possible" into search. The blog grew relatively quickly and I hit my goal within the first year. I met and talked to a lot of people who loved the show and would thank me for my reblogs of their fan art because of the amount traffic they would receive from it. i got inspired from the gifsets people posted and i got into making them myself and I loved it. however after how much time I put into running this blog it stopped being a passion project and became more of an obligation. I ran this blog for nearly six years ensuring that there would be posts every month. I ended up growing really tired of it and it wasn't enjoyable for me anymore.

secondly the Kim Possible live action movie. because this blog is called everythingkimpossible I felt that I needed to report about updates and developments about the then upcoming movie. to put it simply the movie brought out a lot of negativity and toxicity within the kim possible fan base and I would see so much of it under my posts and it was draining and demoralizing to be pretty much forced to read all of it.

now to clarify I have my own opinions on the movie as well let's just say i'm not a big fan of it myself (maybe i'll make a post about my thoughts on it if people are interested) but it still took a huge toll on me and it divided the fan base. I didn't know if I should make posts and reblogs about the movie after the fact or not.

so why am i back now? well i've recently started rewatching this show after many years and it got me really nostalgic about this blog. I truly did love running it for a long time. (it also recently turned 9 years old which is insane!) this site looks a lot different than the last time I was here! I'm also sad that a lot of the blogs that I follow are now deactivated but I can't really be shocked as I've been on hiatus for over 3 years.

I can't promise that I'll be back to regular posts but maybe I'll check in once in a while. Thank you to anyone who is still following me after all these years and to anyone who has even recently found this blog and followed.

Also thank you to everyone who has read til' the end I really appreciate it!

-EKP

[keystone8379]

keystone you should talk about something in regards to kirby fighters 2 community edition

Oh you're right I haven't done that yet! Regarding Kirby Fighters 2: Community Edition, there is a metric TON of stuff to talk about here. The dev team is some of the closest friends I've ever had. Smash Tactics is a thing because I was able to test the game over and over again with the members of the dev team. We've spent many hours sharing progressively crazier character ideas. We have created some warcrime moves. (or, well, more warcrime moves. KF2 already has plenty of those) I think, however, the best place to start for CE on the KF2 lore account is probably just a development history.

So it's late September, the year is 2020. Kirby Fighters 2 was leaked, got a trailer, and released all within the span of 24 hours. Soon after that, firubii (you might have seen her before) shows her findings from a Twitter datamine, that being evidence of a 3D Kirby game. "Wow! Awesome! I sure hope it's nothing like Battle Royale!" I say at the time. But I digress.

A few months pass and eventually fish gets in touch with Firubii for I believe checking hitboxes and frame data? We get a few things for some of the weirder moves from characters like Ninja, but the fact that a modder was among us got people excited. The prospect of a balance patch mod was an undeniably appealing one and could breathe new life (and a time) into the game. And one that Firubii was interested in.

March 16th, 2021 rolls around and Fish pings everyone saying that they had set up a poll for balance suggested for Firubii to implement. They also got an all star cast of top players and fighting game expects and colgate and me. because I "have lots of opinions." We're all put into a dev chat and poll responses start flowing in.

This poll was crazy. You had Ninja downplaying Mag like crazy. You had Celica Trying His Best. You had nonsense adjustment suggestions like "Not really that effective." But my favourite would have to be probably Qwertz saying to EVERY balance suggestion box "The game needs no balance changes, only quality of life changes."

So we all in the chat start throwing around ideas while not really getting anything done. This will be a running theme. About a month later I was like enough is enough and starting pinging people for proper balance discussions and locking in changes. There's a few notable things we did for v0.1, including making Sword a LOT faster, giving Hammer Palutena's Lightweight, (the s4 custom move) making Bandana Dee's spears stick into the ground for a few seconds, and making Cutter's boomerangs bounce off walls. That last one was our first real criminal change, as Cutter could effortlessly lock down the entire screen. I spent hours labbing counterplay only to find none and grew to despise the character and suggested massive overcorrections for v0.2. Oops.

Overall v0.1 was pretty good! It had some iffy stuff and launched with a Whip desync in game but other than that it was a success I think. It came out during July of 2021, a little under 4 months from the initial announcement. There's a few public tourneys with good turnouts but run via Parsec and Parsec makes me want to commit violent crimes. Progress on 0.2 also goes fairly well. There's some bad ideas in there like making MK not very fun but overall it's not so bad.

Until development just HALTS. To my understanding, I believe it was something personal Firubii was going through but I don't have all the info. Then again, I didn't ask. Like sure, I'd like to have the new CE versions as soon as possible, but ultimately the well being of the people actually making the mod is the top priority, it's why it's so irritating when people are jerks about CE's slow development. Obviously I want the new versions out. But we all have lives outside of this and sometimes other things need doing.

Eventually 0.2 gets out, at the start of Febuary 2022. It's solid but still has some things that irk me. After a few months, we ask for player feedback on overall balance and specific changes and get not many results. Granted, CE doesn't have much players so balance discussion is somewhat meaningless for a game this unexplored. I think 1.0 fixes all of the glaring flaws though.

At some point, once again, development freezes, and this one was rough. No communication from Firubii led to a lot of dooming, especially with how close we got to actually launching 1.0. We DO actually know why she vanished for so long this time, it's because her house caught fire. It didn't burn down don't worry! But this still caught us all SUPER off guard.

Anyway, CE resumed development and went for a little while, but hit a brick wall when trying to add training mode. I'm not an expert on the inner workings of KF2 but I know Firubii talked to Ryn (yes, the goku in strive Ryn) about it a little bit. I actually posted about this to my Threads account but who gives a shit about threads. That's more or less where we are now. It's been a while since the last tester build but what can you do.

There's also a few other things but there wasn't really a good place for them. Colgate thought it was a good idea to make a tierlist video for a game no one could play. It wasn't. I had to spend the days after that video doing damage control. There was a playlist where people could suggest songs to add to CE, but tbh it was more just an excuse to listen to music in VC while we could still do that. We were gonna move off Gamebanana because the site is run by N*zis but this was during the fire arc so didn't happen. AV also thought it'd be a good idea to shittalk CE and ask to join the dev team in the same day. There was also the time we had to rush out a trailer for Savi's Dream Display but I have a few criticisms about that which I'll share with him one day.

I think that's it? If you wanna download the mod I'll link it right here: https://gamebanana.com/mods/303920

[johns-prince]

hi there! first of all, thank you for your blog!! it's really nice and idk, all those things you share with followers allow to have a better look at john and paul and their minds, which is precious! well, recently i've been searching for some discourse but failed to- so, it would be lovely to hear your opinion: a) does while my guitar gently weeps can be counted as an official™ mclennon song? ie to what extent it's a just frustrated song and to what - if any - it's about john and paul b) do you think george ever knew/suspected abt some shit between them? thank you in advance! and have a nice day/night 🤍

Hey! You're too sweet!

I dunno if my nonsensical ramblings about the Two Fools is very perceptive of their minds... But I'm glad some of it gets y'all thinkin'.

To try and answer your questions... I have heard and seen the theory that the Beatles/George's song ''While my Guitar Gently Weeps'' is somehow or somewhat relating to the relationship John and Paul shared. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those fans/mclennoners who truly believes that the song was written with John and Paul in mind.

This song was, apparently, written during the spring of 1968, which we know is when the boys all went out to India to "find themselves" or what have you. We all have an idea what went down in India, or what didn't, at least between John and Paul while they'd holed up and shared a room together there for a good portion of the time.

We know how the trip ended, and how the rest of 1969 turned out as it led into 1969, the beginning of the end.

I'm not too knowledgeable about the reasoning behind the song that George has given, other than I know it was definitely influenced by their time over in India, and George's ever developing spiritualism.

At the time, George's ever growing frustration that John and Paul weren't taking his songwriting abilities seriously were also coming to a head.

In fact, why there may be the theory that ''While my Guitar Gently Weeps'' is considered a lowkey quote-unquote McLennonTM song is because of the fact that George was expressing open frustration towards The Beatles, but specifically John and Paul, and the relationship he expressly believed he had been barred from--that is, their collaborative relationship and partnership. George always felt left out by John and Paul, even though there's examples of the two trying to make attempts in recognizing George's talent and abilities throughout the years. That, and if you do listen to the lyrics with McLennon on the mind, the song does sound like it could be about John and Paul's relationship (and the Beatles relationship as a band as a whole) from George's perspective.

I don't think I'm making sense but to answer your second question might just bring it all together my thought process here, so stick with me!

I believe that George had an inkling, a suspicion, of the kind of relationship John and Paul had, but did not have a complete understanding of it, or simply did not want to have a complete and unfettered understanding of the depths that John and Paul's relationship transcended. I do think George was envious of the collabortive relationship between John and Paul, and always felt like the odd one out, or the one left to "play marbles" with Ringo, while it was often just John and Paul, running off and writing music together.

Sure, George was Paul's first friend and best friend as kids, playing guitars first together, growing up like brothers, but it was John that took Paul's confidante and partner. Sure, George at some point, sort of idolized John in that "he's older and cooler" type of way, y'know George and John buddies and pals, and often times clearly wanted John's approval and to be treated as an equal collaborator to John as Paul is, but he wasn't, and he couldn't be, simply because George wasn't Paul. Even when John was on his whole "I hate the Beatles I hate Paul" tirade after the divorce, and George was totally on John's side of it... No matter, George could not get the same treatment or placement beside John as the likes that Paul had held, and still held, all that time.

“George did have a slight inferiority complex, although nothing serious. Cyn remembers him always hanging around when she wanted John on his own. So does Astrid, when she was trying to be alone with Stu.”

— On George Harrison’s youth, The Beatles: The Only Ever Authorised Biography by Hunter Davies [x]

I believe George was definitely aware of the dynamics in the band, and very aware of John and Paul's relationship and partnership. To what extent in the relationship part... I couldn't say. Though, I do think George knew something was up, especially as the years went on...

HADDAD: Then, your musical ambitions didn’t really begin to take form until the two of you joined with John Lennon? GEORGE: Paul and John were the spark that ignited The Beatles. Of course, we weren’t The Beatles then, and we didn’t have Ringo, but that was the start. The air was filled with excitement, and even though we went through silly names like The Quarrymen Skiffle Group, The Moondogs, The Moonshiners, and The Silver Beatles, before evolving into that group everyone grew to know and love, the crucible was in 1967 [sic; 1957] when John and Paul became a duo.”

— George Harrison, interview w/ M. George Haddad for Men Only. (November, 1978) [x]

“I think everybody was in love with everybody else permanently during the Sixties, you know. I would have been surprised if any of our friends had not all been in love with each other. You know, there’s sex and there’s love. And I think the Sixties period, there was a genuine love for mankind, generally. I’m very liberal, actually, very liberal person. “

— George Harrison, radio interview excerpt [x]

Simply put, I personally don't believe ''As my Guitar Gently Weeps'' is about John and Paul's relationship, at least not directly, and if it was influenced by them, I would say it would have been an amalgamation of frustration from George's point of view towards his relationship with the Beatles, and with John and Paul's odd and exclusive relationship and partnership.

I do think George suspected something going on with John and Paul, between John and Paul, but to the extent that he was privy too? I couldn't say. George was aware of them though, especially if he truly believed that John and Paul officially became a duo in 1967 (which is THE peak McLennon year, fyi) so he wasn't oblivious.

[bahja-blix]

Helluva Boss S2 EP 5 (Unhappy Campers)

Helluva Boss S2 EP 5 Review! 

🌵My opinions and views might be different from yours and that's okay! I'm entitled to my opinion and so are you! It is a free country where we should express how we feel about whatever it may be. Use your voice and let it shine! 

🌵🌵I've done some research on blogs that shared their thoughts and watched Helluva Boss S2 EP 5 (Unhappy Campers) several times over to get an insight of my own thoughts and put them all together in one. In other words I will be using other pieces of info from others whom have already critiqued the show and use their thoughts as inspiration! 

🌵🌵🌵I will be answering asks about this episode or Helluva in general so send away your thoughts especially in the comments section! 

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I'm going to highlight some things I actually did like about the episode before I critique it as I don't wanna completely end off on a negative note and throw in a bit of positivity, So let's begin!! 

🌵 Number 1 I really liked the fact that *Gasp* IMP is actually doing their job? 🥳🤯 I can't believe it neither because I nearly forgot about it lol! Man, If only there wasn't so much pointless filler in the previous episodes where they don't do their job and just screw around. I was genuinely surprised and I'm glad the episode went that route! 

🌵 Two, in the beginning Millie was spot on in this episode when it came to figuring out who they needed to kill as She quickly found some clues and facts like an actual detective from a far. I really liked that! 

🌵 Three Moxxie was funny in the episode to me. When he was interacting with the gals I couldn't help but laugh at his attitude and him getting roasted. 

🌵 Four nitpick but I like how good Millie looks as a tomboy and the clients design I like too so ya! 

🌵 Before Barbie ruined it for me I liked this one line she said in the episode! That line being: 

"Do you have any idea how easy it is to manipulate teenage humans?"

To me, I felt like it was a commentary on my own generation and real life. How my generation is very easy to manipulate and influence especially nowadays. I felt like it was relatable because that's the truth! 

Teenagers and kids in general *cough* gen z can be Very influenced or manipulated. The younger a person is the more likely they are to be influenced by bad people especially if that said person is seen as cool, popular, or in with the IT crowd. Trust me I've been there as an actual Gen Zer back in my edgy teen years. Only difference is I grew the hell up! 

🌵 With that done let's get into how I feel about the episode because….There's a lot to unpack here!

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🌵 When I first saw the title card I thought that Moxxie was going to be the main, Main focus in the spotlight and not Millie because of how the title card looked alone with a confident Moxxie and a disappointed Millie. Just like how Moxxie got the spotlight in other episodes such as Harvest Moon Festival (Where Millie should've had the spotlight in that episode) and just like how Stolas and Blitzo did in multiple episodes because God forbid the Stolitz show actually fucking ends so we can get actual character development for our fucking female characters that desperately need it.  However, that wasn't the case this time! It was Millie who actually got the spotlight most of the episode more so than Moxxie. 

🌲 We open up with Blitz looking for his sister Barbie Wire, where we find out (Later in the episode at 18:47) that he wants to help his sister and catch up her and it's all sweet in stuff, except I don't care. Blitzo is angry and upset over the fact that he can't find his sister so he storms to his office while Moxxie and Millie are trying their best to help a client who got killed at their camp site. Moxxie asks Blitz for advice and Blitz tells Moxxie to figure it out himself therefore Moxxie is put in charge as the lead. Mox promise's to find his killer and he says He says and I quote "This will be the cleanest, well prepped, most surgical hit they'll ever have" end quote… implying they will solve this case quickly only to completely contradict itself because it takes them a whole week (according to their universe) to drum up some BS they pull out of their ass to get some Jimmy guy killed by the end of the episode and while Moxxie is supposed to be the most logical one in IMP Moxxie messes everything up and the plan takes longer because the writers wanted to shit on Moxxie again because

"hee hee funny funny no one like him lol"

🌵 Moxxie sets up a plan where they go to a campground and play dress up again, Like they did in the cherubs episode.

I have several questions!

How come Barbie Wire who is an imp, can literally fucking shape shift without using any sort of magical source however, Moxxie, Millie and Blitzo can't? In Seeing Stars they had a chance to actually explain why but chose not too! Where's the fucking grimoire? They can use the grimoire to open portals, use spells, summon, but they can't use it for disguises… The Grimoire itself is so flippin useless that it shouldnt've even been introduced in this show. Furthermore, Why the Hell is Everyone in this goddamn universe so utterly stupid? Okay I know why but still… Like okay the girls Moxxie tries so incredibly hard to befriend, question him for the way he looks n stuff but when they see Millie they don't question her at all like???¿?¿? K lmao

🌵 At the campground Moxxie and Millie recap their plan in the most cringy way possible and then they move on And part ways. 

🌵 Moxxie tries to befriend the gals in the most wack ass way but gets his ass roasted. The gals leave and Blitzo continues to find his sister. 

🌵Millie is the most badass at the  camp because that's how Millie is… Moxxies badass wife that doesn't even have to try at all in fact the episode makes sure that everyone loves her because Viv said so that's why! 

🌵First off all the song Millie sings is God Awful, her being overly popular at the camp grounds is so fucking forced and completely out of knowwhere. She joins a volleyball game and dunks on some kid and that's what makes her popular? Lmao K, 

🌵 Mox gets jealous of Millie because he's not the focus in the episode! It's Millie for once. After a small argument Millie suggests that Mox does something that he's good at so they can go and continue with their plans. 

🌵 Oh come the fuck on dont tell me Moxxie is this fucking cringy like he has shown he can perform and sing better that that! *Facepalms* 

🌵 Moxxie screws up yet again and everyone hates him even more so he goes crying on the toilet. Millie comforts him and that's sweet and stuff. Mix tries again, and again, and again, he fails spectacularly and then Moxxie gets upset Yet Again! 

🌵 Mox goes on about how he has a "Job" to do and that the job has to be done "His way" because God damnit he said so! Only it wasn't Millie that messed up the plan at all because had Moxxie actually listen to his wife this time the episode would've fucking ended and the filler wouldn't happen now would it? Moxxie is the one that messes everything up and it takes Millie up on stage to unintentionally kill who their looking for with a firework that just so happen to go flying into the location that Moxxie, Blitzo and his sister were fighting at. 

🌵 The Falling Out

Millie and Mox *gasp* have an argument? Couldn't believe it either lol! Millie admits she doesn't feel important. That no one is proud of her and this and that. Millie sweetie you fucking LOVE killing, killing is your life. it means the whole world to you and now you're pulling this outta your behind? They literally could've finished the job had Moxxie listened to her. Then Literally not even a minute and a half later this shit happens… 

🌵 Moxxie gets up on that stage like the diva he is and constantly validates his wife for being the biggest badass ever to walk earth while at the end of his speech creeps everyone out then goes and looks for the suspects but only after Millie points out some sus activity. Mox runs into Blitz and gets called out for his fuckery not finishing the job he was tasked to do.

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🌵 The Barbie Wire Situation

Okay I'm going to be tapping into sensitive ground here so please keep in mind I'm going off of the themes in the episode that are presented to me as the viewer. I have read others posts about Viv and the backlash she got about Barbie but regardless, these are my thoughts, this is your final warning and here we go!

🌵 Going back into the beginning At the 3:44 minute mark when Moxxie and Millie go and find out whom possibly killed their client Moxxie states "Hm, You know, these kids are a bit younger than I was expecting" and then followed up by telling Millie to not be sexual around them Implying that the campers are minors which is why I (like others) questioned the situation especially later in the episode more as time went on! (Moxxie telling Millie to not be sexual is completely contradicted in the last bit of the episode simply because horny ass Viv just couldn't hold it in anymore)

🌵 Barbie was okay until she decided to be a creep ass in the episode at the beginning of the 16 Minute mark of her flashing her boney ass at the audience… Viv once again gets her ass in that hot water when people call her out for her abysmal writing. I've heard that people saw her say that The "Teenager Jimmy" is 18 or 19 but the scene itself to me was unnecessary and still downright creepy. 

Like? The show literally could've thrown in a bag of weed or edibles if the show really wanted to go there knowing the nature of the show anyway and that would've made more sense since you yourself Barbie are a drug addict who makes young impressionable teenagers smuggle drugs. 

🌵 Later Barbie says "I don't wanna hear it "Kid". She calls him kid which is really weird but I mean…there's literally grownups irl that call older teens kids anyway so I mean I Guess it can be taken either way. But here's the thing though this Jimmy guy sure acts like a dumb immature kid with his "WHAAA?? Heeeyyy No I'm not" attitude like lmao 😂 which is it is he older or is he younger? Pick one! 

But I mean hey, Who knows maybe this guy who sounds nothing like a 18/19 yr old really is an adult or maybe Viv is just a damn liar that's pulling something out of her ass to get herself out of that hot water that she put herself into! It was the first day of the episode and people will talk more as time goes on! 

🌵 A slow-ass fight within the episode ensues but it's nothing really all that special compared to what we previously got like with Truth Seekers and Western Energy as examples.

🌵 In the end regardless if Barbie tried saving him that Jimmy guy died anyway because of Millie and her fireworks that blew his ass away... quite literally LMAO

🌵 Glad we actually get some sort of context or insight on Barbie and Blitzo's relationship within the 18:44 minute mark, Where we learn that Blitz literally ruined her life in the past however, here's the thing… we don't even get to see what actually happened in their past. It's just a bunch of filler instead of developing this character you tried hyping up. Why did Barbie go to rehab? Was it the drugs? Or something else? Why does Barbie hate her brother so much and never wants to see him again? Why doesn't the episode fucking explore their relationship properly? Viv why the hell did you try so incredibly hard to hype up this character if there wasn't going to be jack shit with her? 

Hnnnnggg

🌵 The episode DID NOT need the incest "joke" at all in any way shape or form. Viv and her horny writing staff just Had to add that in there be shocking and subvert expectations when in reality it didn't like? We've already seen Those two humping in the air on stage before in the goddamn cherubs episode. lmfao sweet home incest Alabama am I right? 

The End! 

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🌵 Wow! Definitely NOT a fan of this episode at all! It's a meh episode that actually did get me to laugh a few times. This episode should've been split into two parts. One where we could get to explore more about Barbie and her relationship with her brother Blitzo and another where the writing staff could write an actual BETTER Millie episode where she actually gets better character development than small pieces of development! Those Asmodeus crystals are unexplained and never explored on! The Grimoire is fucking useless as hell, this episode should've been in season one based on the fact that unlike season one of Helluva Boss season two is completely different! They actually do their jobs in season one but two? Nah Fam! Like every episode of helluva boss there's a ton of errors in it, Blitzo is an asshole but that's how he always been, Moxxie being ranchy AF especially when talking about his period as if he's the greatest thing in the universe was Not Funny! Barbie is a groomer, regardless if Viv claims this Jimmy guy is, 18 it's still creepy and was completely unnecessary. The incest jokes in the episode were completely horrendous and didn't need to be in the episode at All, and lastly… 

🌵 Loona Does shows up at the very last second of the episode! She sure does exist does she? There's the bait! Come and Get It!

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Did I miss anything you'd like me to talk about? Ask me anything! Do you agree or disagree? 

Comment, like, share around, critique and always give feedback as everything is appreciated!

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[transfemmbeatrice]

parker's personal much ado primer

i'm gonna keep posting much ado shit so here is some background on my personal favorite interpretation of the characters; this is not a primer on the actual play and these opinions somewhat differ from my like. canonical readings of these characters. this is what my personal action figures are like when i'm talking about aus. i'm mostly leaving physical descriptions out bc they can vary quite a bit.

when i say "we" i mean me and my wonderful spouse @zaxal because so much of this we sort of developed together over the years and none of these characters would be quite who they are to me without them.

Beatrice: beatrice is a trans woman to me!! i talked about this a bunch here. she will also always have red hair to me (thanks catherine tate for that one). she's hot, she's confident, she doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks about her, she has relatively good judgement, she sometimes struggles to be vulnerable or soft with other people, she loves hero more than anything. she's also arrogant as hell! and often quite angry. beatrice is all fire all the time, she is alive and loud and proud and really likes having the last word. you will always know when she is in the room.

Benedick: oh this man is such a slut. grade a whore. pansexual as shit too. always cracking jokes to cover his own insecurities, desperately needs to be liked or if not that at least the center of attention--even if people don't like him, if they're thinking about him and watching him, that's good enough. he loves being witty and he is prideful and acts somewhat detached when in reality he feels things the Most and gets desperately attached to people and doesn't truly believe they could love him back.

Pedro: strong sense of duty. pedro is one that tends to vary more wildly because we've fallen into "suffocated by responsibility and shitty father, actually kinda shy and dumb and kind" which i love but in the play he is mostly just kinda shitty but i don't WANT him to be, so sometimes we try to lean more into the shitty side of him but often he is an earnest idiot (affectionate)

John: as mentioned in my beatrice post, i hc him as a trans man! sometimes more genderfluid or nonbinary. he's quiet, serious, and calm, and has been done fucking dirty by his dad/the world. generally our thought is that he was raised by his mom until about age 12 when she died and he got dumped on the palace steps and the king extremely resented taking him in and everyone was shitty to him because he's illegitimate. everyone thinks he's a villain and he knows he'll never convince them otherwise so he doesn't try; he just keeps to himself and doesn't form many attachments.

Hero: usually soft spoken but whip smart, doesn't like a lot of attention, stem major, big lesbian facing comphet vibes. she and beatrice are basically sisters. she's insightful but she doesn't share those insights with most people, and is by far the one who calls beatrice on her shit the most. we've ended up friendshipping hero and john because they're both such flat characters who exist at the whims of others and i love the idea of two wallflowers finding each other.

Claudio: obviously the villain. there are lots of different approaches to this--he might be an entitled golden boy, or a rich kid not used to hearing no, or an incel--but essentially he's a bully. i think its most interesting when he appears very nice at first and then when there's any amount of pushback things get ugly but i hate him so much i often make him pretty rancid from the start.

Margaret: outgoing and fairly relaxed, a jock, bi, in love with hero.

Conrade: john's bf, utterly loyal, and by a twist of fate it has become a running joke that he has tumblr disease (purple eyes/white hair). we usually depict him as similar to john--stolid, serious, not interested in taking anyone's shit, but lately i've been wondering if maybe he should be the bright sunshine in contrast to john.

Borachio: essentially a stray dog john and conrade adopted. he comes and goes. he's a mess.

Antonio: beatrice's surrogate parent, and elder queer genderfuck who uses ve/vir pronouns. general chaos agent.

ship abbreviations:

b&b: beatrice/benedick bbp: beatrice/benedick/pedro benepedro: take a guess beap: beatrice/pedro heromeg: hero/margaret johnrade: john/conrade

[fereldanwench]

So I've been kind of wondering for the past couple of months if doing a revamp of my posing/photomode guide for AMM would still be a worthwhile endeavor.

One of the main reasons I made it was because back in the day, posing NPCs (especially any that didn't have the generic male locomotion) was not the most straightforward thing to do, to say the least. But when AMM got the major update that had poses built into the menu, I wasn't sure if it would really be needed in the same way, which put it pretty low on my list of priorities.*

*That guide was also very time-consuming to put together, and while I was happy to do it because I like sharing and organizing information, the main reason I was able to dedicate so much time to it was because I was unemployed. Which, both thankfully and regrettably (lmao), I haven't been for a year.

There are still some quirks with how poses work in AMM (like the way the poses reset if you unfreeze or move a character), but my guess is that it's probably a lot more accessible and a lot less confusing now than a year ago.

I think the support and development for PMU have also done a lot to make posing/expressions (especially for V) way easier than it was in the past.

But it's possible that all of this just seems so much easier to me because I've also been at it for a while now. I don't really feel like I have as much of a beat on where folks, especially newcomers, are with this stuff anymore--Maybe it still feels really overwhelming and incomprehensible.

So, to get to my point: would folks find an update/revamp of that guide beneficial?

I think if I did do one, I would probably streamline it a lot--It would probably just be a refreshed version of the little practice scene to use some spawned NPCs, lights, and maybe a decor item; I think that was what most people used in the current guide anyway. I wouldn't go through explaining how to install AMM, each menu tab in detail, locomotion stuff, etc.

I've also kind of gone back and forth on doing a couple of video tutorials. They'd be a lot easier and quicker for me than writing out step-by-step instructions. But, I know for me personally when I'm learning new processes and software and whatnot, I prefer text over video--Not sure if I'm the minority here.

Poll here for quick feedback, but if anyone wants to share any specific thoughts, questions, struggles, etc., feel free to reblog/comment to do so. (I might not respond to everyone, but I'll definitely read any feedback.)