#and my teacher is a dick

[anormalkidingotham]

if anyone knows lifewire, please tell her to leave me alone and stop causing blackouts on my street, i need to hand this essay in tomorrow and i already lost all of my progress twice because the power went out and my computer didn't save what i wrote

[arkangelo-7]

Let’s be honest, the only thing funnier than Dick and Bruce trying to co-parent Damian is Dick, Bruce, and Jason trying to co-parent Damian.

[minnow-doodle-doo]

Am I back on my Sons of Anarchy AU bullshit again? yes

Jason and Dick take a break in the shade after Jason takes over the shop.

[bonchobrick]

I just want a fic where Danny and Jason are just fucking laughing so hard they’re wheezing and bawling as they make death jokes while everyone else is SO uncomfortable

Like they’re full on cackling like Danny will say “We’re not allowed in certain rooms”

Jason will b like ‘what rooms’

Danny will say ‘living rooms’

And they both start dying (metaphorically) of laughter slapplin the counter crying while dick is trying real hard not to shatter the mug in his hands with a constipated expression that rivals Bruce’s a seat away from him (+bonus points if the joke is something that is on the verge of being utterly lame like a near science pun)

(I dunno if a lot of people will see this post but if you do please I’m begging you add a death joke guys please it would be so funny)

[littlefankingdom]

Bruce is the kind of parents teachers hate, because he always takes his child's side. Dick started a fight? His boy would never, the other kid probably started it and deserved it. Jason felt asleep in class? Well, maybe stop being boring. His kids are angels who can do no wrong.

The administration of Gotham Academy was so relieved when Dick graduated because they wouldn't have to deal with Bruce again, only for him to get another one. And once Jason passed away, they felt guilty to be happy to not have to see Bruce again, only for him to show up a year later for Tim. (I know, canonically, Tim went to another school, but this is funny to imagine) He isn't even the kid's guardian, but he justifies it with the absence of Tim's parents at the moment, how he is his neighbour and his son is very close to him, they see each others as brothers!

It's a bit different with Damian because he was raised differently than his siblings and could be quite arrogant at the start, but Bruce still does take his defense when he doesn't have his son's side.

Of course, once he is alone with his boys, he does ask what happens and lecture them if necessary, but in public, he gets protective. It comes from how he remembers feeling as a teen, angry and hurt but nobody listened or understood, just scolded him. He wants his kids to feel understood, to know they can express themselves to him. (It's canon that Bruce saw Jason's aggressivity as Robin as Jason being in pain. In older comics at least). It's also comes from how protective he is in general.

This also happens with the Justice League and other heroes. They have no right to criticize his kids, and he can lecture them himself if they really did something dangerous. Robin punched you? You probably deserved it.

His kids are perfect angels, ok?!

[bee-a-garbage-shipper]

Bruce: *To Dick.* The absolute nerve, to come into my life. To make it better by your very existence. Effortlessly barging into the misery fortress it took me years to build. Shameful.

[zevrianval]

Cant draw anything in digital so have a sketchbook page

[greenapplebling]

Damian: Richard

Dick: Hey, little D. How was school?

Damian: One of my teachers told the girls to "never date cops bc they're all cheaters"

Dick, a cop: Uh-

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

how do people caption their art??

[articlefour]

me and my literature teacher are doing a project on erotica. when we meet, he tells me to read some pages aloud and then we discuss the scenes. i wonder if he can notice how wet i get during those meetings, cause i definitely see the bulge in his pants.

my literature teacher tells me to read books that get progressively more degrading and violent. i love it.

my literature teacher told me that my reading didn't convey the nuances of the writing and lacked emotion. as a solution, he told me to recall past sexual encounters while reading so i could connect better with the characters and the story.

my literature teacher asked me if i am a virgin. i said yes.

my literature teacher taught me that erotica has to be experienced.

my literature teacher sat me on his thigh. "read," he commanded. i obediently did as he said and, soon enough, we felt my slick cover his pants. "good girl," he muttered, almost inaudibly. i heard a zipper opening and a low groan as he fred his member. he then held my hand and directed it to his throbbing cock. a moan escaped my lips in anticipation. "don't stop reading," he said in that same authoritarian voice. i did so. both my voice and my hand being used as objects for his selfish pleasure. his warm seed finally painted my hand white. he sighed in satisfaction and in one swift motion he turned me around to face him. "now, lick it clean". it tasted like heaven.

my literature teacher puts his hand on my thigh and i open my legs. i know he got much to teach me, so i don't resist his methods. his two fingers hover over my panties and my whole body trembles waiting for the contact. he barely touches me before letting out a laugh. "you get wet so easily, needy girl," he states, "are you that desperate to be fucked?". he doesn't wait for an answer, he knows it. and when his digits press against my pussy he gets even more sure of it. i become a moaning mess, moving like a bitch in heat, wanting to fucked so bad, but trying to get away from the overstimulation. i know he is smiling, reveling in the power he has over me. "this won't do." he stops and stands in front of me, looking down at this plaything he managed to get. "you're a noisy little slut." he looks around as if searching for something. "i need to silence that dumb mouth of yours." the answer is obvious. he points at my clothed pussy and extends his hands. i immediately take off my panties and give them to him. i open my mouth and let my tongue roll out, a line of drool falls to the ground, i'm learning. he shoves the underwear in my mouth, making sure that i'm well gagged. at this point all i think about is cock. his cock. my arousal is pooling below me and i open my legs, this time to show my velvety walls, warm and hungry. in a heartbeat i'm bent over his table, holding to its sides while he pounds me from behind. he is relentless, like the characters from his books, he either pulls my hair or presses my head against the table, forces my back to bend like a porn star's or slaps my butt. either way i clench around his dick and feel drool dribble down my chin, my eyes roll backwards and i feel like i'm going to be split in half. i cum so many times i lose count.

my literature teacher tells everyone that i'm the most applied student he's ever had. now many other teachers want to work on a project with me.

[nicomoon69]

thinking abt a stephcass magical girl 90s-00s vibe shoujo manga with all the tropes. them being childhood best friends, Cass pining for Steph while Steph is completely oblivious bc she's crushing on Tim (she's in her comphet era) and keeps bugging Cass abt which boys she likes (she likes none)

also reverse tuxedo mask situation with Tim where Steph 'crushes' on his civilian identity but hates him as a hero (at least in the beginning)

just endless possibilities for shenanigans and cute shit

[pageturner001]

I am going to resurrect Herman Melville just so I can ask what exactly he meant when Ismael said: "I found Queequeg's arm thrown over me in the most loving and affectionate manner. You had almost thought I had been his wife," and "How it is I know not; but there is no place like a bed for confidential disclosures between friends. Man and wife, they say, there open the very bottom of their souls to each other; and some couples often lie and chat over old times till nearly morning. Thus, then, in our hearts' honeymoon, lay I and Queequeg-- a cosy, loving pair."

[lambergeier]

what’ve we been up to lately? me and the wife? yeah we’ve been making jokes about how much dick grayson fucks older men. yeah like the robin guy

[graysonsmullet]

Bruce: I had to download an app to see what people were doing on the headsets because some people kept on looking at naked men

dick:🫣😓

Tim: I was learning anatomy Bruce

[thedevilundercover]

I fucking love presentations. If I had anyone to give presentations to, I’d give one about Gothic-revival architecture because dhsjsjhw it’s so pretty.

And I saw somewhere that Wayne manor was built in the mid-1800s and I just jumped for joy lmao.

I’m a huge fucking nerd, but so are y’all because you really want to see me make a bunch of floor plans so—

[rusomnia]

duke, dick and steph at somepoint probably: its not funny in a haha way its funny in a lifes sad so im gonna laugh way