#just gotham city things

[haveihitanerve]

only in gotham...

so a common trend for businesses in Gotham is to hang up a sign in their window, or have it sitting at the front of the store that say "all unattended children will be given over to Bruce Wayne' and some even say "to Batman and become the next Robin" its all to encourage parents to keep their children close, this is Gotham after all, and a subtle reminder, hey keep an eye or your kid, you break it you buy it sort of stuff

the most memorable occasion i can think of of these signs being spotted however, are when one of Batkids or a Wayne child comes into contact with them. I was shopping at the supermarket where the cashier had one such sign hanging above her checkout, when Stephanie Brown, followed by Damian Wayne and Tim Drake walked in. They perused the store for a few minutes, when Stephanie noticed the sign. She screamed at the top of her lungs and pushed Tim, who landed against damian. the two boys glared at her, noticed the sign, and immediately fled, Damian near tears as he sprinted next to his siblings. the cashier and i could not stop laughing

about a week later i was buying my girlfriend flowers at a corner store, with the batman sign dangling from a nearby pole (they are also on the streets to remind parents not to let their kids wander alone in gotham) when Nightwing and Red Hood came running past, and spotted the sign. Red Hood looked around wildly and fled, arms raised in the air as he sprinted down the street and away from the store, while Nightwing, laughing, just cartwheeled down the street, calling out 'Batman!!!! oh batman!!!!' the Bat came running past seconds later, fleeing. Nightwing cackled madly and sprinted after him

only in gotham...

[gothamo]

okay people what are the 'surviving gotham' 101 strategies??

I've barely survived my first weekend here

[dottie-mcveigh]

PSA for Gothamites

Some haunted attraction sites WILL microdose you with Fear Gas for ‘immersion’.

If you have any adverse effects to any of the known strains, please confirm when buying your tickets.

[beechaotic]

THE FUCKING CLOWN LIVED. I BURNED HIS FUCKING BODY AND HES STILL ALIVE?! WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THIS??

[dyslexicmeltdown]

You know you're in Gotham when you can't go to uni without at least 1 bird or bat checking on you.

Like, I get most educated people become some sort of villain here, buy its kinda hard to study whiLE BEENING WATCHED ALL THE TIME!

[anormalkidingotham]

how does gotham end up flooded every time it rains if the sewers are big enough that multiple people can run separate crime empires from down there

[guygxthm]

I think I caught the stabby robin watching the bee movie from behind a tree on the park too

[gotham-city-jumper]

one thing about the gotham rogues is at least they constantly gender me correctly. like, i pass pretty well but it's still impressive how little i get misgendered compared to in just like, Life

[locksleytailoring]

Just saw a Robin fall from the roof onto the street outside my store. He stayed there for a solid minute, sighed heavily, and got up and fucked off.

[gothamite-seagull]

just watched batgirl hit the griddy, then trip over a rock and faceplant into a dumpster full of donuts

[bugboi-of-gotham]

Welp, someone broke into my apartment while I was helping the kid....the person thw broke in is still here just..laying on the ground...should I call someone? ...I don't think this guy is breathing

[haveihitanerve]

Everyday I wake up and thank whatever heathen is watching over this shithole that I live in Gotham.

-some Gothamite that just got their college tution paid by Bruce Wayne probably

-Batman after hearing Supermans plan to push the Earth out of the way of a meteor

[goth-pod]

Goth-Pod Ep 4: Community

Welcome back to Goth-Pod!

After the recent rogue attacks, Juda Boone is asking to listen to YOUR Gotham troubles! Head over to our page and click on the "Talk to Juda!" button to submit your trademark-Gotham questions, comments, concerns.

We look forward to hearing from you!

[goth-pod is a fictional in-universe podcast based on the DC comics universe. Juda Boone is an original fictional character, not based on any real person or known comic book character. The mentioned "Gotham City's Best" is not a real podcast, that I know of.]

Transcript under the cut

Hello everyone and welcome back! This is Goth-Pod, your gotham-based podcast. Speaking to you today is your favorite nocturnal mammal and host, Juda Boone. 

A week ago, Rouge "Dr." Hugo Strange- and as we are in a non-visual media space, I hope you can pick up on my air quotes- “Dr.” Hugo Strange kidnapped all of Gotham's known therapists and held them hostage. 

For full coverage of that story, remember to check out Gotham City's Best: A True Crime Podcast run by my friends Holly and Spence. 

This ordeal was thankfully resolved quickly by the Bat and his baby bird, Robin. But the question arose: Would it be ethical for these therapists to all go back to work so soon after a rogue attack?

Obviously the answer is no. And if you are someone who is in need of mental health resources at this time, please take advantage of Wayne Enterprise's efforts- completely free to sign up.

On the lighthearted side of things, we here at Goth-Pod saw something of an opportunity. Gothamites still need a way to feel connected, to feel heard and to know they’re not alone.

We’re our best selves when we lean on our community. 

So, for a limited time, we have opened our services to  listen and respond to the trials and troubles Gothamites are going through. With a post that read: “Send your messages to Juda now! They are not a licensed therapist, but neither is Hugo Strange!”

I know, I know. I spoke before in a previous episode about how I do not intend to rile up any of Gotham's rogues. But I am a Gotham citizen and we tend to go down swinging. 

In the next episode, we will be offering advice or just a listening ear to some of your send-ins. 

I'm Juda and this is Goth-Pod. Until then, stay safe Gotham.

[dottie-mcveigh]

Do people outside Gotham not threaten to become supervillains over minor inconveniences?

You’re telling me a kid in Metropolis isn’t dropping their coffee and darkly saying “this is my villain origin story”?

[beechaotic]

A fluffy white cat white an upward turns black crescent patch on her forehead exits Metaverses shadow. She has a little cat sized basket she’s delivering.

They look at the cat passively, before slowly stroking her head.

"Lemme guess, Artem sent you?" They look at the basket and gently take it off the cat's neck, peeking inside.

[dyslexicmeltdown]

Fun fact, a group of robins is called a round. This makes sense to me because I'm 80% sure none of the Robin's have ever been fully straight