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What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab?

.. i’m palestinian

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These sexuality/gender type flags are stupid and apart from the gay one, no one knows/cares what they mean.

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Was talking to a coworker today who explained that her grandfather was like Snow White “but Californian. And an old man.” in that the creatures of the forest would follow him around and presumably duet with him.

“When he died the ravens sat in the trees outside for a week, watching. Taking turns. A horde of raccoons tried to break into the house every night, tearing at the siding. Eventually they gave up, but it was unsettling.”

“Aww. They were checking on him!” I said, like a normal person. Internally, I thought “Maybe you could do the thing you do with dead pets, where you show them to the living pets so the living pet understands they’re gone. But I guess if you did that to a bunch of scavenging species, they’d be like “Well, that’s very sad but he IS food now.” So what you’d need, for human sensibilities, is some sort of transparent corpse barrier. Like a see-through coffin oh that’s what the dwarves were doing! You’ve stopped paying attention to this conversation about the loss of a beloved family member you gotta phase back in.”

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*Dead media (assassinated)

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Me: *agonizing over whether a semicolon goes here, what the proper dialogue should be there, other assorted rules and semantics*

Terry Pratchett: "!" said the stranger.

THAT'S ALLOWED?

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Hey man, ahead of this heatwave I'm gonna go ahead and rip the veil off of something for you:

The reason American Southerners have the luxury of saying that 90 ain't that bad and it's not unbearable until it's 100 is 1) prolonged exposure to high temperatures over multiple decades 2) our mindset for these living conditions.

You don't have number 1, and you can't just acquire it, so I need you to adopt number 2 immediately. How do you live like a Southerner in the heat?

Don't be a hero.

Stay inside. Buy a box fan, put it next to a bucket of ice, and wrap your arms around it like a lover. Do not leave the shade under any circumstances. If a dude makes fun of you for getting out of the sun, don't get mad, just think of a funnier insult to call him while you flip him off and go stand under a tree.

Southerners love nothing more than to exaggerate and lie to each other. Like I think we got off on the wrong foot when you walked in on us saying things like "It was only 110, I didn't even take my damn jacket off" when really, last week it was 95 at 10 PM and we were on the bed buck nekkid in front of the fan moaning incoherently and praying to die. So yeah, we can take extreme heat. We also want you to think we can take ludicrous heat. You must learn to talk shit and then be a hypocrite and a coward in your actions, because this will serve you best.

It sounds like I am joking but I cannot express to you how much I am not. Do not fuck with Mother Nature, because that bitch will kill you. Take every opportunity to lower your body temperature and drink water, because that is what all of us in hot climates are doing all the time, and that is why we are not dead, even when it seems like we should be.

(And yeah, we do go through like two and a half ugly weeks in April every year where everyone wants to absolutely just goddamn drop dead because none of us have our heat tolerance back, but we must go to work anyway, which must be a crime. And yes, when it gets below 70 we really all do short circuit and cover ourselves in seven jackets, except for Shorts Guy.)

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Story time:

In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.

Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.

What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.

The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.

So whenever I see crap like Elizabeth Holmes’s blood test scam or pharmaceutical trials which are unable to be replicated or industry-funded research that reaches wildly unscientific conclusions, I just remember those fucking sweet potatoes. I remember that curiosity dies when people are just trying to give their superiors the “right” answers, so they can get the grade, get the job, get the paycheck. It’s not about truth when it’s about paying rent. There’s no scientific integrity if you can’t control for human desperation.

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Please sign the petition. Also email your councillors and MSPs if you are in Edinburgh and the Lothians. These cuts will affect many third sector organisations and completely gut Collective Advocacy, a statutory service, in the region. Redhall Walled Garden is one service at risk as is CAPS Independent Advocacy's Collective Advocacy. I'm involved with five of the nine Collective Advocacy projects at risk. This includes the Out Of Sight Out Of Mind exhibition which is in its 13th year and is Scotland's largest mental health art exhibition. It had around 2000 in person visitors last year and has produced such delights as a working scale model of a guillotine as an artwork.

[Video description: A video of the guillotine in action chopping off the teal mannequin's magnetically attached head with a very satisfying clunk. The guillotine has a Revolutionary Barbie leaning against it. The plinth is covered entirely in pink crushed velvet. The guillotine is twice the height of Barbie and painted mostly black with lots of metal colours in an almost nebula like design. It sits on a canvas board painted in a similar fashion. The table has a teal mannequin on it with its head sticking out over a fake wicker basket made out of a recycled Easter egg box. Below the blade is a painting of a Dandie Dinmont Terrier. End description]

[ID: A photo of the teal mannequin perched on a very messy table covered in art supplies. He's posed like a smarmy, rich, White dude leaning on a bar with a drink in one hand and in need of a cigar and trying to chat you up or mansplain something if that makes sense. His attitude says, "fuck you" so much that the only option is, "Off with his head!" End ID]

[ID: a photo of the underneath of the guillotine that few people actually noticed. It has several quotes on it.

I'm a Barbie Girl in a Barbie world.

It never goes smooth, how come it never goes smooth?

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition

Viva la revolution

Never gonna give you up

End ID]

When I was looking back over these photos last week I managed to Rickroll myself. Now that's special.

Please sign the petition at the top of the post.

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I am exceptionally lucky in that my parents never hit me, grounded me, confiscated my things, banned me from my hobbies or threatened any of these actions to make me behave as a kid. as an adult it has made me realise how very very long a road most people have to traverse before they can take a statement like 'no rule that must be enforced by threat is legitimate' seriously.

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clownfish be like "i know a spot" and take you to a fucking deadly sea organism

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[ID: a 10 panel black and white comic.

1. An older man with a black cloud over his head is buying something from an employee behind a counter who is wearing a t-shirt labelled work uniform. The worker pushes a small piece of paper towards the customer and says, "I'll have you sign this receipt and you're good to go..."

2. The customer shouts angrily, "With what pen?" The startled worker says, "Woah! The ones right here!" And points at the pot of pens that have been there on the counter top the whole time.

3. The customer grumbles to himself as he signs the receipt. The worker thinks, "I'm having a good day. I will choose peace."

4. 15 minutes later. The customer returns holding a box. He shouts, "Hey!" The worker thinks, "Oh no..."

5. The customer looks sad as he says, "I'm sorry if I was mean earlier. I'm not having a good day."

6. The worker says, "Awe. It's ok! I hope your day gets better." They think, "I've never gotten an apology!"

7. The customer says, "It won't ever again. My son just died."

8. The worker looks shocked.

9. The customer says, "Here's a tip," as they push a five dollar note across the counter. It has a smiley face on it.

10. The stunned worker just stares down at the money on the counter.

End ID]

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[ID: an image of Shrek, a green ogre, standing on a bridge over a swamp like area with trees. Text reads, build a bridge and get ogre it". End ID]

I worked very hard on this

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[Video description: a Tiktok by ZacharySchofield9. It shows a laptop screen with the browser on the TimeAndDate.com website. Text superimposed on the video reads, "Ive been planning this all day im fucking lightheaded yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees." The camera pans up from the keyboard to show the date and time being 11.59pm and about 20 seconds away from midnight on the 30th April 2019. A song plays and builds in the background. At two seconds to midnight the song stops abruptly and at precisely midnight the singer sings what sounds like, "It's gonna be May!" as the date changes to the 1st May. The person filming laughs.

The song is actually, "It's Gonna Be Me," by NSync but it's a mondegreen and the me is often misheard as May. End description]

oh my god

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I have been waiting all year to post this.

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It’s sad how much of what is taught in school is useless to over 99% of the population.

There are literally math concepts taught in high school and middle school that are only used in extremely specialized fields or that are even so outdated they aren’t used anymore!

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ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL