#and it sucks yeah
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OH.
You ever have a sudden realization for why you feel a certain way about something that actually completely flips those feelings on their head?
I've generally always been pretty sure about what I want out of any kind of gender affirming care I might hopefully get in some nebulous future where that's something I can afford: I want my voice deeper, I'd be delighted by bottom growth, I would like my tits significantly more masculine presenting if not gone completely. I've been ambivalent about the potential for body hair, though I have been much more eager for the possibility of it with more 'ideal transition goals' influence (Look. I want Con O'Neill's gender okay?) in mind.
That said the one thing I've been hesitant about is facial hair? Which is frustrating because it's the one thing that I kind of do have by default? If I don't do anything to it I have noticeable dark wispies on my upper lip and chin (I've kind of suspected for a while that I may have some sort of hormone disorder - I've got other things that lead me to think this too ofc this is just the most easily noticeable - but like. Who's got the money for diagnosing shit like that? Not me, that's for damn sure.) like. T-Boy's First 'Stache kinda deal. It's been my one (mental) sticking point on potentially starting T, to the point where I've argued with myself that I could just do like the trans girls do and get like, what's it called? Electrolysis? Hair removal? Just for that part. But then that adds cost to what I already can't afford and. Like.
I don't think. It. Actually bothers me? I think. I think I'm maybe projecting how I think my mother would react to it? Not even with full on transition in mind but like. How I am now. Like I don't really care how it looks if I don't shave. Hell, I might even like it sometimes? Like a micro-euphoria or something. But my mother is (partially) responsible for my eating disorder. It's completely within the realm of possibility that she would have Something To Say if I just stopped bothering. I don't even think she'd do it on purpose really? Just. Would need to point out the presence of hair on my face and the judgement would be implied. The 'I am pointing this out because it is unusual and I don't think you should look like this' would be implied. She wouldn't need to say it out loud.
And like. The worst of it is? I don't care. I don't care if I do something to myself that she doesn't like or approve of. And. It's hardly as if she's transphobic (Or. Not more-so than the average 'uninvolved in the queer community parent of queer kids' cishet person. Not maliciously so, yknow?) I've got friends she knows are trans - one who she knew through his actual transition process - she's been through the whole 'it's "he", mom' 'oops, he' situation before with relative grace.
But none of those people are her kid. She doesn't see them every day. She knows she didn't raise them and has, at no point in their lives had a say with what they do to themselves. I already came out to her once (Well. I was forced out by my partner at the time's parents, which was. Not fun.) and the thing about that time is? She really didn't have to. Do anything? About that? Except maybe adjust her mental image of who I might wind up marrying some time in the nebulous future. I'm not out to her about any of my Gender Stuff. Because I don't want to have to deal with the 'I just don't understand all of this' because I'm not binary trans (every other trans person she's met has been binary) or 'It would just be easier on everybody if we still called you [deadname] and used she/her' (which, I don't even really have an issue with she/her? I very much prefer they/them but I'm used to she/her and it doesn't bother me to hear it the way hearing my deadname still does).
She doesn't listen to me when I talk about things that actually matter to me. When I talk about shit that she's done that hurts me. Hell, when I tell her she doesn't listen to me she stops listening. I know it'll be a fight if I correct her on my name/pronouns. I know she'll 'forget'. I know when I get emotional about it, because I know I'll get emotional about it, that I'll start to raise my voice (gotta love the struggle with vocal volume regulation huh? I literally can't help it and I barely notice it until someone tells me) and that she'll say 'You're always yelling, I'm not going to listen to you if you yell' and that it's just code for 'I wasn't going to listen anyway because what you have to say isn't important enough for me to try to listen, and you're giving me a convenient excuse to opt out of the blame for that by speaking "too loudly"'.
Anyway. I'm not coming out again until I'm out of this fucking state and living on my own (or at least away from her and the rest of my family).
But I do think, now, I might actually be comfortable with my facial hair/the potential for more pronounced facial hair then too. It's not my problem, it's hers.
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liquidstar · 1 year ago
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Yes, Greece still exists, we didn't all die 2000 years ago. Yes, people speak Greek. You people are so fucking stupid for real. So many of you claim to love ancient shit but can't even acknowledge the actual living culture of the people whose mythology and classics you romanticize. You keep leaving annoying comments about how you just forget Greek people still exist, thinking you're being quirky because you love ancient stuff soooo much that you forgot about the people it came from. You think about it so little you don't even realize that an actual Greek person has to read this shit, making it clear how little you actually care about the culture beyond the romanticized (and westernized) mythology. Don't claim you love Greece, don't use our mythology anymore if you can't acknowledge that we're still around without making it about how little you think about us. It's mind boggling that you'd think a Greek person would read this and think you're anything but obnoxious. Explode.
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yb-cringe · 4 months ago
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something insanely meta about jack and tommy chatting about how it all sucked everything sucked and it was a mess and it hurt and no theyd never wanna go back but.. they miss it sometimes. to the way things were and how they felt. sometimes you just wanna go back
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fanaticalthings · 7 months ago
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just another night in gotham
<- Prev Masterlist Next ->
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mens-rights-activia · 2 years ago
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My favourite thing about tumblr, that in my opinion makes it far superior to other social media sites, is that new posts live side by side with old posts. These days, there’s a prioritization of new content. It not only shortens the lifespan of people’s work, memes and such, but it also devalues the work that goes into making certain things.
Sure, a lot of posts are just random thoughts spewed into the ether, but some posts are carefully crafted videos, photos, artwork, prose, that take the creator a considerable amount of time and effort to craft. So, as a content creator, it’s nice to see that you can put work into a piece of content on here and it can have a life of its own. Unlike other platforms where posts live and die in a matter of day, sometimes, hours
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helpallthenamesaretaken · 2 months ago
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i hate how sometimes people make out rachel to be this tragic heartbroken mess. WELL FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT
she was the one who dumped percy in the first place
and the scene after that she said "I don't have to tell you what you have to do now, right?" with the next scene being percy confessing to annabeth
she genuinely CHOSE to be the oracle, if she was really serious about percy she would have not have gone along with the whole thing without being a tiny bit sad about not dating percy
she flat out admitted percy was just a vehicle for her to be involved with the greek world
she is not august by taylor swift. she is not driver's license by olivia rodrigo. she did not care less about percy once he didn't reciprocate pls 😭
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bucketsofgiggles · 2 years ago
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i am absolutely l o s i n g it at Tommy "Desert Storm Vet and Texan in 2003 When the World Ended" Miller realizing he's now a communist, like look at this:
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this man's whole worldview got Rocked
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pininiu · 2 months ago
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BREAK TIME ARRIVED, used what little free time I have from the real world to do this cuz the jazz mecha pilot AU by @keferon ate me since its conception
I wanted to make a little something ever since I read the Blurr side story while waiting for the 2nd chapter and then I just saw it drop so now I’ll be reading it on the side (I’m not emotionally prepared yet)
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and some extra sketches I made
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Art block be damned even if it sucks, don’t mind the obvious way my brain was degrading
Magazine is roughly based on F1 Magazine formatting, 2nd one is based on the Transformers Spotlights comic featuring Blurr
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xxplastic-cubexx · 2 months ago
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secret wars secret love you will ALWAYS be famous
bonus:
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heretherebeturtles-comic · 2 months ago
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DID YOU KNOW THAT ANDY SURIANO TALKED ABT YOUR COMIC ON INSTA???????????
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YEAH I SAW IT!
really cool!!!!!! nice things were said about my art and story!!!!!! i am so flattered!!!!!!!!!! i am still figuring out how to react to it all!!!
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akanemnon · 1 year ago
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Technically they're all correct
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
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bixels · 11 months ago
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I watched Starship Troopers tonight.
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axoqiii · 11 months ago
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🍁 i bring to u life series nitw au and a gem doodle
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manchesterau · 2 months ago
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31 festive days of dnp [27/31]
❄︎ 15 years of Interactive Christmas Adventure ❄︎
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benevolenterrancy · 4 months ago
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Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature
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piscinetheory · 8 months ago
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I think my favorite part of dungeon meshi + why I absolutely adore Ryoko Kui's characterization is that every single main character is unlikable. Not just in a surface level give your characters flaws way, but in a way that encumbers them and affects the people around them. laios is outright rude and negligent at times. marcille is judgemental and shortsighted. chilchuck is grumpy and mean. senshi is obstinate and often careless. They're all good-hearted and lovable and easy to root for, but they have flaws! Not only do they have flaws, but those flaws affect their relationships and are explored by the narrative!
I don't know it's just so refreshing when fiction lets its characters be bad people at times. It makes the "found family" trope so much more satisfying cause it's like yes. I'll love you and take care of you even though you suck sometimes and you've accidentally hurt me before. I've done the same to you and know you still love me back. Gosh what a good story.
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