#since i mentioned mine for a second there?

[juulessturn]

「 "off record" 」 chris sturniolo

. . . . . . . . . 「 9.2k words . 」

content : angst . fluff . smut if u read far enough . brief mentions of drinking . intentional lowercase .

a/n : " this is a lot longer than it was supposed to be and some of the paragraphs are deadass just awkward. reminder that i write over the course of a few days, weeks, or even months, i do all of my writing late at night, and sometimes high. it's absolutely a wild ride but i hope u enjoy regardless " ✴

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our group was in a pretty chaotic state, to say the least. there were a lot of us for starters, mostly content creators like tara, jake, johnnie, larray, quen, the triplets, along with a bunch of smaller creators, myself being one of them. everyone was joking around, a little tipsy, and the noise level was through the roof. it was technically an after-party, but i felt a bit less on edge since my boyfriend knew almost everyone there.

i was drinking a white claw, standing next to chris as he spoke to quen and his brothers, nodding along even though i wasn’t really following the conversation. the music was playing low in the background–  some playlist that blended early 2010s pop with newer tiktok hits, and people were scattered around the room in little pockets, laughing, filming something, or just talking on the couch.

larray shouted something across the room that made half of us burst out laughing, and someone spilled a drink in the process. i glanced at the mess and then back at chris, who just shook his head and smiled like none of this was surprising.

tara came up to our sub-group, vlogging camera out, and clearly more drunk than most people there. the second i saw the red recording light, i stepped away from chris, casually, perfectly used to it. we’d dealt with dating rumors before– any girl around the triplets got them, but mine were different. mine were true.

chris just wasn’t ready to make it public yet.

so when tara pointed the camera at us, shouting something i didn’t acknowledge, i slipped on a smile, the kind that looked easy and unbothered. chris glanced at me for half a second. just enough to say he noticed, that we were still in sync.

it was strange, pretending not to love someone standing right next to you, but again, it wasn’t new. i was used to being in public with him and having to stand at a ‘safe distance.’

tara drifted off, camera still rolling, shouting something as she disappeared into the noise. the moment passed like they always did– quick, messy, easy to miss if you weren’t paying attention.

chris didn’t say anything right away. he just took a sip of his drink, eyes scanning the room like he was keeping track of the scene. i knew him well enough to recognize that look– half on guard, half somewhere else.

after a beat, he leaned in a little. “sorry,” he said quietly, not really looking at me.

“it’s fine,” i murmured.

“really, i am.” he reiterated, as quen pulled us back into the conversation. pulling our attention with her. whatever was between me and chris dissolved into the noise.

i laughed when i was supposed to, nodded along, let the conversation carry me. chris was still next to me, closer but not touching. i decided that i needed to get over myself and threw in a joke here and there, easing back into my own skin.

chris didn’t look at me, not directly, but every so often, i felt it. this flicker of attention, like he was checking to make sure i was okay without apologizing again. he knew me, and at this point, he knew i didn’t like being a secret.

quen was mid-story about a brand trip when she turned suddenly to me. “wait, weren’t you there for that?”

i blinked. “which trip?”

“mexico, where the hotel lost all our reservations.”

i let out a short laugh, the kind that still carried traces of exhaustion. “yeah. i was definitely there.”

quen gasped, eyes wide with secondhand horror. 

“uh-huh” i nodded at her horror, smiling. “landed in cancún at like ten p.m, got to the front desk, and they were like, ‘you don’t exist.’” i shook my head. “i think someone cried.” i squinted.

“i know someone cried,” she said, grinning.

everyone around us laughed— nick, matt, jake, a woman who i didn’t catch the name of, and chris. i felt him glance at me again. subtle. like he was just checking. i didn’t look back.

quen started describing the rest of the trip, some dinner where the seafood was undercooked and one of the managers got way too drunk and fell into the hotel fountain. someone handed out shots mid-story, and we all clinked plastic cups without knowing exactly what we were toasting to.

someone turned the music up. not enough to make it a dance floor, but enough to blur the edges of every conversation. people started drifting toward the couch or the kitchen or toward whoevers camera was filming at that moment. another camera filming meant me and chris would have to keep our distance. it brought my mood down again.

i ended up in the kitchen not long after, trying to cool down and get water, letting the cold cup press into my hands as an excuse to stay still. the overhead light was buzzing slightly, and the hum of the party felt distant from here, even though it was only a few steps away.

chris found me like he always did. quietly, without announcement.

he leaned beside me against the counter, not saying anything for a moment. the silence between us didn’t feel heavy, exactly, just full.

“you handled that well,” he said eventually, voice low, just for me.

i didn’t look at him. “handled what?”

he hesitated. “tara. the camera. everything.”

i shrugged. “it’s not the first time.”

he exhaled softly, like that answer hurt more than he wanted it to.

he looked tired. not the party kind of tired– the quiet kind. the emotional kind.

“i hate that you have to,” he said, almost like a question, and his voice was honest in a way it rarely got to be in public.

i nodded slowly. “me too.” i chuckled.

someone laughed loudly in the other room– quen again, probably– and the sound bounced off the kitchen tile like a reminder that we weren’t alone, that we never really were.

“one day,” he said softly.

i didn’t say anything. not because i didn’t believe him, but because i wasn’t sure that my belief changed anything right now.

he looked like he wanted to say more, like he was turning something over in his head. i watched him for a moment.

but then someone called his name, their voice echoing down the hallway. chris looked toward the sound, then back at me. his mouth opened like he might stay. explain. say something real.

but he didn’t.

instead, he reached out, just barely brushing his hand against mine. the touch was quick, almost nothing, but it made something in me ache anyway.

“i’ll be right back,” he said.

i stayed in the kitchen longer than i needed to. the party buzzed behind me. music, shouting, bursts of laughter. someone was crying in the hallway– or maybe laughing. it was hard to tell.

people came in and out. looking for soda, a place to breathe, somewhere their phone could hear them. 

i checked the doorway once, or twice, or more. but i knew chris wasn���t coming back. he didn’t go to many parties but when he did, he kept busy. people loved him.

eventually, i pushed off the counter and slipped back into the party like i hadn’t been waiting for anything, or anyone. 

quen was dancing now, barefoot and holding her heels in one hand. tara was filming again, telling her camera someone’s relationship drama. someone had opened a new bag of chips and spilled half of it on the carpet.

it was all still happening, with or without me. i needed to suck it up.

i made my way to the edge of the couch where johnnie and matt were having a debate about something stupid. i smiled at them as i sat down and joined their conversation halfway through. 

chris was across the room now, sitting on the arm of a chair with a drink in his hand, head tilted toward whoever he was talking to. he looked like he was listening. like he was fine. like none of this was difficult at all. the thought gave me a pit in my stomach.

the feeling only grew when a woman came up to him and sat on the arm of his chair, speaking to him like they were already mid-conversation. she laughed at something he said– or maybe nothing at all, and leaned into him, her hand brushing his arm like she didn’t even think about it.

i saw it happen from across the room. i saw the way chris shifted, just slightly. his shoulders tensed for half a second, his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. he didn’t lean into her. but he didn’t move away either.

he didn’t stop it.

i looked down at my phone, even though my screen was black. tried to focus on the buzz of the room, on johnnie’s voice, on the couch cushion under my legs– anything but him. 

he could’ve said something. even just stood up, made an excuse. but he stayed there, nodding along, drink still in hand like everything was fine.

matt asked me a question and i answered without thinking. my voice came out calm, maybe even bored. i was good at that now, looking unbothered while my stomach turned. obviously, matt knew about chris and i, and he glanced over to where i was looking and furrowed his brows. when i made eye contact with him he gave me a pity smile.

chris looked over, just once. it wasn’t long, but it was enough. he knew i’d seen it. he knew i was watching.

for a second, i was scared he’d let it go. just keep sitting there like nothing was wrong, but then he shifted.

he said something to the woman, soft and quick, and stood up before she could respond. his drink still in hand, eyes scanning the room until they landed on me. and this time, he didn’t look away.

he walked over like it was nothing, and when he sat down next to me he didn’t say anything. just rested his arm along the back of the couch, fingers brushing my shoulder, like a quiet answer.

i didn’t look at him. but i leaned into the touch. just slightly.

just enough.

his hand found mine, slow and careful, like he was still testing the weight of it all. like he wasn’t sure how much i’d let him take.

i let our fingers link. didn’t look, didn’t squeeze. just let it happen.

when the song ended, quen stumbled toward us and flopped dramatically onto the couch, landing half on the cushion, half on my knee. i giggled.

“jesus,” she sighed, dropping her heels on the floor. “i’m done, y’all.”

i laughed, then i saw it. her eyes flicking down, just briefly, to where mine and chris’s hands were linked between us. subtle. fast. but not missed.

she didn’t say anything. just raised one eyebrow as she leaned her head back against the couch, letting it all settle in.

it felt good. it felt normal. until it didn’t. larray sat on the edge of the couch next to quen, and started filming a tiktok. i felt chris shift before anything else.

his fingers slipped out of mine like it was automatic. muscle memory. he reached for his drink instead, eyes flicking to the phone before casually taking a sip, suddenly preoccupied.

i didn’t move or flinch, i just pressed my lips together, slow and tight. like the pressure could stop something in me from spilling out.

we weren’t even really in frame. maybe the corner of my shoulder. maybe the side of his knee. it didn’t matter.

he let go anyway.

i stared straight ahead, face smooth, calm. it had been seconds, not even long enough for anyone else to notice, but the absence of his hand burned louder than the music.

i knew this version of him. the one who knew how to hold my hand like it meant something when no one was looking, but always dropped it the second he felt any attention on him. the version of him that would tell me he loved me a thousand times as long as he knew no one could hear.

he was the version of himself that didn’t owe me anything. not in front of other people. not when it could be traced back, screen-recorded, speculated on. he was warm when we were hidden, he loved me when we were alone, but he was always careful not to leave his fingerprints behind.

he could lean into me in a quiet room, kiss me and have me feel it with every bone in my body, and then walk five feet ahead of me in public like we’d never touched.

and i let him. every time. because i loved the version of him that existed after the cameras stopped rolling.  because that version looked at me like i was his.

still, it didn’t hurt less. it just felt more familiar.

at this point, it was on me. i kept choosing the version of him that only existed behind closed doors, behind quiet walls. the one who whispered to stay a little longer when the party was over, who kissed the inside of my wrist like it was something sacred. the one who told me he wasn’t ready to tell people, but he’d already decided i was home.

i told myself that version was the real chris. the one that mattered. the careful distance in public didn’t mean anything. it was all temporary.

but nights like this –when his hand slipped from mine as soon as a phone came out, they chipped away at me. not all at once, but slowly, each time added up.

“you’re quiet,” he said, voice low enough that only i could hear. i swallowed the knot tightening in my chest and finally turned to him.

“yeah,” i said. he glanced at me, eyes flickering with something i couldn’t quite place. maybe guilt, maybe exhaustion.

i took a deep breath, the noise and chaos swirling around us suddenly felt too much. my voice came out quieter than i expected.

“can we talk outside?”

he blinked, caught off guard for a moment, then nodded slowly.

we stood, slipping through the crowd, the weight of the room fading behind us with every step. the air outside hit my skin. cool and sharp, like a reset.

“i’m tired of feeling like a secret.” i said bluntly when we stepped outside. my voice was steadier than i felt, i could feel my hands shaking. “we’ve been together for like– a year now?” i said it like a question. “but every time someone pulls out a phone or points a camera in our direction, you act like i’m invisible.”

he stayed quiet, but i kept going, like if i stopped, i’d never say it again.

my chest felt tight, breath catching somewhere behind the words. “you- you act like i’m someone you can just let go of without a second thought. and i’ve taken it and i’ve let it happen and i’ve done the same to you but i’m so fucking done with it. it hurts chris.” my voice cracked.

i crossed my arms. he opened his mouth, then closed it again. ran a hand over his jaw, thinking, and it only made the silence worse.

finally, he said, voice low, “i didn’t think it would hurt you like that in the beginning.”

“it didn’t hurt in the beginning.” i verified.

 "i knew it wasn’t perfect, but i thought we had an understanding.” he didn’t acknowledge what i said.

“we did,” i said quietly. “i just don’t think it’s working anymore.”

his voice was quiet now, steadier than before. “baby, i’ve seen what happens. the hate. the comments. the way people pick apart everything. the last few girls people thought i was dating, none of them were even real relationships, they got dragged through hell.” he leaned into me as he spoke. “i’m talking full-on hate campaigns. death threats. people digging through their lives.”

“i know,” i said, and i did. i’d seen it happen too. girls whose names were barely linked to his became targets overnight. profiles flooded with snark and cruel edits. people made entire reddit threads dedicated to speculating if they were good enough. most of the time, the answer was no.

“it’s not just about me,” he said, his voice a little more urgent now. “it’s about you too. i don’t want you to go through that.”

“but i already am,” i said, and my voice came out smaller than i wanted. “the rumors alone have people hating me, and i don’t care if they continue to if it means we can be seen in public together.”

he looked at me for a long time after that. like he didn’t know what to say, like he was trying to piece together an answer that wouldn’t make it worse.

“i didn’t want you to feel like this,” he said finally, his voice barely above the wind. “i thought– i thought if we could just wait it out a little longer, until the timing felt right, until people calmed down..”

he trailed off. we both knew they never calmed down.

i sighed and wrapped my arms tighter around myself, the night air making me shiver in my short black dress. i didn’t respond right away.

chris noticed my shivering. he pulled his hoodie over his head without a word and handed it to me, holding it out like a peace offering. the only times he did that was when it was late at night and we were on the beach with no one there. it was too risky otherwise, so i hesitated.

i took it anyway, tugged it over my head, the sleeves still warm from him. it smelled like his cologne and something vaguely like laundry detergent, and i hated how comforting it was.

he gave me a moment. then, “can we.. go back in?”

i swallowed and glanced at the house behind us. the glowing windows, the echo of music, bursts of laughter spilling out now and then. i thought about how drained i felt, but also about how warm it had been in there. how easy it was to get swept up in the noise. how sometimes pretending everything was fine helped it feel that way, just for a little while.

i nodded. “okay.”

he didn’t smile exactly, but his whole posture softened. like tension he’d been carrying loosened the second i agreed.

“wait,” i paused. “do i look like i was crying?” i ask, dabbing my face with my hands.

“you look beautiful,” he said simply, and came closer.

i chuckled, and he leaned to kiss me. it was quick, but it felt right.

we slipped into the living room. i ended up sitting on the floor by the couch, my legs tucked under me, the hoodie sleeves hanging a bit past my hands. chris sank down next to me a beat later, and our knees touched, steady and casual.

someone passed a bowl of popcorn. larray shrieked about something quen said. music played from a speaker that someone had balanced dangerously on top of a stack of chairs. the room was messy and loud and strangely comforting.

chris leaned in every so often, saying something under his breath– jokes, quiet comments, a random memory. nothing deep, nothing heavy. just enough to remind me he was there. that we were okay. or trying to be.

i let my head fall lightly against his shoulder. just for a second. just to feel him there. he didn’t move. didn’t freeze. didn’t pull away. he just shifted slightly so it was easier to stay like that.

the couch behind us creaked as someone shifted, and larray shouted something about popcorn getting in his shoe. we both looked up, and just like that, the moment passed— swept back into the noise and movement of the night.

but even after i sat up, chris didn’t move away. his knee stayed against mine. his hand drifted just slightly over mine, not fully holding it, but close.

i turned to see nick standing a few feet away, a red solo cup in one hand and his brows raised, not in judgment, just surprise. the way he looked at us wasn’t loud or dramatic. more like he’d stumbled across something unexpected and wasn’t quite sure how to process it.

“hi,” i said, soft but steady.

“hi,” he greeted back. “you okay?”

i nodded. “yeah.”

he held my gaze for a second longer, like he was checking that i meant it. then he relaxed a bit and dropped into the space next to us on the floor, legs stretching out in front of him as he leaned back on his hands.

“this group,” nick muttered with a little shake of his head. “they’re all so loud tonight.”

“are you not part of that group?” chris asked, smiling.

“yeah, but i’m the best one,” nick said.

he glanced over at me again. “i’m glad you’re still here, you’re the only other normal person.” he said.

chris made a face. i giggled.

we didn’t make a big deal of it. no one around us even seemed to notice what had shifted between me and chris. but nick had. and for some reason, that made it feel more real.

i kept my gaze on the room, trying not to lean too hard into the moment, but i was shocked when chris started rubbing my thigh. it wasn’t sexual, wasn’t showy, just quiet and steady. familiar.

someone turned the lights down a little, not dramatically, just enough to make everything softer around the edges. larray was singing into a remote control. quen was now fully horizontal across the loveseat, legs dangling off one side, scrolling through her camera roll and narrating every photo she found. there was laughter, clinking plastic cups, the soft sound of a tiktok audio starting and stopping somewhere in the room.

and still, his hand stayed on my leg.

i finally turned, just slightly, and looked at him.

he met my eyes right away.

“what?” he asked softly.

i shrugged. “nothing.”

his thumb brushed slowly just above my knee. “you sure?”

“yeah,” i said, voice low. “just surprised.”

“by what?”

“this,” i said, nodding toward his hand.

he didn’t pull away. didn’t even hesitate. just looked at me with that steady, unreadable expression he got when he was letting something settle in his chest before saying it out loud.

then, quietly, he said, “i kinda wanna stop hiding.”

“seriously?”

“dead serious.”

i swallowed around something in my throat and gave the smallest smile. “okay.”

“okay,” he echoed, grinning.

for a few minutes, we stayed like that. just the sound of the room around us and the feeling of his hand on my leg. i felt almost feverish, like he was everywhere, like the whole world was narrowing down to the space we shared.

the rest of the hour slipped by in the way only party time does– fast, blurry around the edges, warm in a way that made it easy to forget anything hard had happened.

chris didn’t move his hand, but he didn’t push any further either. just kept it there, a steady weight on my leg, like a reminder. like he was still holding onto what he’d said.

we sat there for a while. i ended up talking to nick and johnnie about old vines we loved, chris chimed in every now and then, laughing when i pulled up a video and started quoting it word for word.

tara was lying on the floor with her feet up on the wall, talking to someone and laughing at everything. an old kesha song came on and the room lost its mind for a full three minutes.

i was surprised how normal it all felt. how easy it was to fall back into the noise. maybe it was the hoodie. or maybe it was just that chris hadn’t pulled away again. not once.

eventually, chris nudged me gently, his voice low near my ear. “you ready to go?”

i nodded. “yeah. i’m crashing.”

he stood up and offered me a hand, and i took it without thinking. his fingers curled around mine like they’d always been there, and to be fair, they kind of had, but it felt so odd to be publicly holding his hand.

“let’s find my brothers,” he said as we weaved through the soft chaos of the living room. the group had thinned out, some people curled up on furniture, others deep in late-night conversations or filming sleepy tiktoks.

we passed quen, still horizontal on the loveseat, talking to larray in half-coherent sentences. she raised a lazy hand when she saw us. “bye, bye..”

i smiled. “night, quen.”

we headed down the hall toward one of the back rooms. music was still playing, but quieter now. more background than anything. when we opened the door, we found nick sitting on the floor, deep in conversation with a guy i didn’t recognize, dark hair, hoodie sleeves pushed up. they were sitting close, their knees nearly touching. 

chris raised an eyebrow. “you guys ready?.”

nick looked up, caught somewhere between flustered and annoyed. “now?”

“yes,” matt said, suddenly appearing behind us, already holding his keys like he’d been waiting. 

nick rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. “give me a sec.” he turned to the guy, said something soft that i couldn’t catch, they exchanged numbers, and hugged goodbye quickly before nick got to his feet.

as we walked back through the house, i glanced over and saw the guy still watching nick leave, a little smile on his face. something about it made me grin.

outside, the air had cooled down. the streets were quiet, lit by the soft yellow haze of streetlights. the car was parked a little ways down, and we walked in comfortable silence, the four of us spreading out along the sidewalk.

“that guy was cute,” i said softly to nick.

“you think?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

“yeah,” i said, bumping his shoulder. “you gonna text him?”

“already did.”

i giggled. “of course.”

when we reached the car, matt got into the driver’s seat, nick slid into the passenger seat and immediately started messing with the aux.

“don’t play anything sad,” chris called out as he opened the back door. nick frowned

i climbed in beside chris, the door shutting with a dull thud behind me. the car smelled faintly like sunscreen and spearmint gum. i tucked my legs up a little on the seat, and chris settled in the seat next to me.

“can we get food?” nick asked matt. he groaned.

“yes,” i immediately jumped up.

“thank you,” nick replied, dramatically placing a hand over his heart.

“oh my god, not both of you.” matt rubbed his eyes.

“actually,” chris added. “ i’m hungry too.”

matt sighed, shaking his head, but chris was already pulling up directions to the nearest drive-thru.

“you’re all the worst,” matt muttered, even as he changed lanes.

nick turned back toward the front, triumphant. 

the car eased away from the curb, and the party faded behind us, just noise and light in the rearview. i leaned my head against the window for a second, the cold glass grounding me, until i felt chris’s fingers lightly brush against mine.

i looked down, then at him.

he didn’t say anything. just lifted his hand slowly and linked his pinky with mine. not a full hold, not a statement. just something small.

i let it stay there. let it mean whatever it meant.

matt turned up the volume just as a soft, acoustic song filled the car.

the city blurred outside, and for a few minutes, no one said anything. just the music, and the rhythm of the road, and the steady feel of chris beside me.

when we pulled into the drive-thru line, the car went quiet again for a minute. the low rumble of the engine, the familiar hum of the drive-thru speaker, comforting in a way only late-night food runs could be. the kind that always felt like a reset button after a loud party or too many feelings.

when it was finally our turn, nick did the ordering, leaning forward with the kind of confidence that meant he was in a very good mood.

once we got to the window, chris handed over his card before anyone else could even reach for their wallets. i gave him a look, but he just shrugged.

“i’m trying to be nice,” he said. “let me be nice.”

nick snorted. “this is him making up for the months of emotional damage.”

“shut up,” chris muttered, but he was smiling.

we took the bags and drinks, the warm scent of fries filling the car instantly. nick immediately sorted through the bags and handed ours back.

i tossed a fry at him, and he caught it in his mouth, immediately celebrating like he’d won the lottery.

“i’m so good,” he said through a mouthful. “matt, did you see that?���

“i’m ignoring all of you,” matt said flatly. he pulled out of the parking lot, the streets were quiet in that comforting way that only happened between midnight and morning.

i shifted in my seat, legs still curled up under me, hoodie pulled tight against the chill. the fries were perfectly warm and my drink sweat in my hand. chris was almost halfway through his burger, taking slow bites, but swallowing quickly.

nick wasn’t done talking about the guy from earlier. “listen, i’m not making this up,” he said, voice low but serious, like he was explaining something important. “he was definitely flirting. like, he wasn’t just polite or friendly. he was really trying to get my attention.”

chris raised an eyebrow but said nothing, still chewing.

“he looked me up and down. like really looked,” nick kept going. “then he smiled, but not just a quick polite smile. his whole face lit up. the kind of smile that’s saying, ‘hey, i’m into you.’”

matt rolled his eyes but giggled anyway. “you sure it wasn’t just a friendly smile? he looked really straight.”

“what? gay people have to look a certain way? is that what you’re saying, matt?” nick accused. everyone burst out in giggles and chuckles.

“no, no, i’m not.” matt shook his head, smiling.

“i don’t know,” nick said, more thoughtful now, chewing on a fry. “he seemed real. not just, like.. interested for the night.”

chris was pulling fries from the shared bag between us, chewing slowly, listening to nick speak half-heartedly, passing me the cup every so often. i didn’t mind. i liked his drink better anyway. matt was driving, one hand on the wheel, the other holding his drink. he sipped it without looking. nick continued talking.

he was already texting the guy he met. like, actively. he’d trail off and i’d catch him glance down at his phone every few seconds, typing fast, pausing, then smiling in that way people do when they’re trying not to.

i nudged him. “you good?”

he didn’t even look up. “mhm.”

chris leaned closer, mock-whispering like we weren’t in a car. “he’s gone.”

nick rolled his eyes but didn’t bother defending himself. he was too busy grinning down at his screen. the glow of it lit up his face, soft around the edges. 

i leaned over to peek and saw a name saved with a single emoji next to it. “miles 🌀”

“you already gave him a name emoji?” i asked, teasing.

 nick didn’t even blink. “obviously. he earned it.”

“earned it how?” chris chimed in, half-laughing.

nick shrugged but his thumbs kept moving, then he grinned again. “he remembered what candy i liked and he said he’s gonna bring me some next time.”

“next time?” i echoed.

nick looked up, still smiling. “yeah. we’re getting coffee on wednesday– or tuesday.”

matt snorted from the drivers seat. “you’re moving fast, damn.”

“he gave me his number and he hugged me goodbye. am i being lovebombed?,” nick asked

i laughed, “it’s not lovebombing if you’re aware of it,”

nick nodded. chris leaned his head back against the seat. “i like this version of nick.”

“you mean emotionally available?” i asked, grinning.

“no,” chris said, eyes closed. “i mean quiet. when he’s texting, he’s not talking.”

nick and matt both made a face. “wow, chris, that’s rich.” nick said, but his thumbs kept moving.

“what are you even saying?” i asked.

“nothing cool,” nick admitted. “we’re literally talking about cereal. he said he likes frosted flakes and i said that’s basic. now we’re fighting.”

i smiled. “true love.”

all three of them chuckled.

chris’s hand brushed against mine again, fingers loose but intentional, and this time i didn’t hesitate. i curled my pinky around his. 

nick made a soft little sound, the kind people make when they’re reading something sweet. he didn’t even try to hide it.

“okay, now i need to know,” i said, leaning over more. “what did he say?”

nick blushed– actually blushed, and tilted his phone so we couldn’t see it. “he said he’s glad i came to the party tonight.”

“aw,” i said, half-melting.

“and,” nick added, barely above a whisper now, “that he wasn’t planning on talking to anyone, but something about me made him want to.”

matt let out a low, impressed whistle. “damn. he’s got game.”

“no,” nick said, his thumbs hovering over the screen. “he’s just.. sincere. i don’t know.”

“what’s he like?” chris asked. “we saw him at the party and you guys looked like you were about to fuckin’ makeout or something.”

nick laughed under his breath, then shrugged. “he’s calm. like, really calm. like i know i talk a lot, but he doesn’t rush to respond. he just kind of.. takes me in. it’s nice.”

i felt my chest tighten a little. “that’s sweet.”

the car had gone quiet again, just the low hum of the road and nick’s occasional typing. chris had moved his hand to my thigh, his thumb brushing slow, absent circles on it. i could feel him thinking. that quiet kind of tension he got when words were building up but refusing to come out.

then, without letting go of me, he shifted, tugging his phone from his hoodie pocket with his free hand. i watched out of the corner of my eye as he opened his notes app and started typing, his brows furrowed just slightly.

when he was done, he turned the screen toward me without a word.

‘Idrk how to say this but I really really appreciate U. U make me feel like myself. And I’m sorry abt tonight. I promise we can be more public from now on. I’m ready’

i blinked down at the words. “chris,” i said softly, already smiling, i didn’t know what to say. i brought his face to mine and pressed a few kisses to his cheeks.

he didn’t pull away, just let me. his skin was warm under my lips, and i felt the little flutter of his breath as his hand found mine again. it wasn’t much, but it felt like everything.

“i wasn’t planning on saying anything tonight,” he murmured. “i didn’t know i needed to.”

i tilted my head just enough to see him, “i’m glad you did.”

from the front seat, matt made a strangled sort of noise. “you guys need a room,”

nick looked up from his phone, deadpan. “just put the car in reverse and let god decide.” 

we all giggled and i made a face. “you were just fucking swooning over a guy you met tonight.”

nick looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find anything. he settled. “we can both be down bad.”

“i’m not down bad,” i said, though my voice had already gone soft again. chris’s thumb brushed my knuckles once, slow and deliberate. i glanced at him and smiled, quieter now. “okay, maybe i am.”

matt groaned dramatically from the front, but didn’t add anything this time. he just turned the music up a little, some mellow song filling the car like background to the way chris kept looking at me.

the car ride didn’t last much longer. matt pulled into the driveway and then the garage and cut the engine but no one rushed to get out.

nick was still on his phone, grinning at something, and matt leaned forward over the wheel like he needed a minute.

chris didn’t move at all. his hand was still in mine.

i turned to look at him, and he met my gaze like he’d already been waiting. his expression was unreadable at first, all soft focus and something behind his eyes, until he cleared his throat gently.

“you staying over?” he asked, voice low.

my heart skipped a beat, just one. “if i can,”

he nodded once. “of course,”

we all climbed out, chris stayed close, his hand brushing the small of my back as we walked through the door like it was second nature.

the garage door rumbled shut behind us, leaving a soft echo in its place. matt was the first one inside, barely mumbled a “night” before disappearing upstairs to the middle floor.

chris and i stepped inside together, through the door that opened straight into the bottom level of the house. chris’s room was right there, i paused in the hallway with him, toeing off my shoes.

“i’m gonna grab some water,” i said.

chris nodded, “m’kay,” he said, entering his room.

i padded up the stairs, footsteps soft. i glanced down the hallway and saw matt entering his room, a few seconds later, i heard a scratch of furniture as he presumably fell down onto his bed. other than that, everything was quiet except for the faint hum of the fridge.

in the kitchen, i filled a glass from the filter and leaned against the counter. the night still clung to my skin.

“hey,” nick said, appearing up the stairs, still scrolling through his phone.

“hey,” i echoed, watching him out of the corner of my eye.

he leaned against the wall, thumbs moving quickly. “just told him goodnight. took me like five minutes to decide if it was too much.”

“was it?”

he shook his head, almost smiling. “nah. he sent a ‘sweet dreams’ first. i win.”

i took a sip from my glass and tilted my head. “you sticking around down here?”

“nah, just needed to breathe for a sec. and make sure you were okay.” he glanced up at me, briefly serious. “you are, right?”

i nodded, letting the glass rest against the counter. “yeah. tonight was– unexpected. but good.”

“yeah,” he said softly, then nodded toward the stairs. “he looked happy. chris.”

i smiled a little. “he is. i think.”

nick pushed off the wall and gave a quiet little sigh. “good.”

he started up the next flight to his room, still scrolling, still smiling. “night,” he called.

“night, nick.”

i stayed in the kitchen a moment longer, listening to the soft click of his door above me. then i turned off the light and went back downstairs to where chris was waiting.

i stepped inside without knocking. he was stretched out on his bed, one leg dangling off the side, eyes on his phone. the tv was on, some old sitcom i couldn’t remember the name of right now. he looked up when he heard me.

“hey,” he said, soft, tired, like we were already halfway into a conversation.

“hey,” i shut the door behind me.

he shifted to make space and reached a hand out lazily. i climbed onto the bed beside him, folding one leg up underneath me. his hand found my wrist like it always did, thumb brushing over the inside of it.

“you get your water?” he asked, smiling a little.

“yep,” i said, “nick said you looked happy.”

chris giggled. “scary.” he sat up.

“actually? kind of sweet.”

he tilted his head toward me. “you think he’s jealous?”

i raised a brow. “of what?”

“me,” he said simply, like it wasn’t a question, just something he’d been holding onto.

i smiled at him, soft. “no. i think he’s proud of you.”

he smiled. his arm came around me without hesitation, holding me close like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“you looked good tonight,” he said quietly.

i looked up. “yeah?”

“yeah.” he brushed a piece of hair behind my ear, fingers lingering. “it was hard trying not to stare.”

i grinned. “did you fail?”

he leaned in a little. “miserably.”

i turned just enough to kiss the corner of his mouth. “good.”

he moved so our lips were together and kissed me back, slow, unhurried, like there wasn’t anything else worth rushing toward. 

i felt his hands on my waist, sliding up my sides, under my hoodie. his touch sent goosebumps up my arms, and i shivered a little, pressing closer to him.

his hands moved to my lower back, pulling me in fully. i could feel him pressing against me now, hard against my hip, and i let out a soft gasp against his mouth. he hummed quietly in response, not breaking the kiss.

he moved to my jaw and then my neck "chris, it's late.." i mumbled. but i didn't stop him, i didn't want him to stop

he murmured against my skin, “you want me to stop?” i felt him smirk and his teeth scraped over my neck. i hummed, not in agreement, but not in disagreement. 

“i want you,” he mumbled. “do you want me to stop?” he repeated, pausing his movements.

i shook my head, hands tangling in his hair, trying to pull him closer. “no, keep going, please.”

he chuckled and continued mouthing down my neck, finding a sensitive spot just below my ear. i let my head fall back slightly, giving him more space, and moaned softly when he bit down slightly.

his hands traveled up under my hoodie, he went far enough to where he could tug down my dress, and gently, he did. he then brought his hands behind me and unclasped my bra.

“fuck,” he murmured as he kneaded my boobs. i moaned softly.

he pulled away just enough to look at me, hands moving to the hem of the hoodie and pulling it off me. 

i tugged my dress all the way down, leaving me in just my underwear. he pulled back a little to pull his shirt over his head. i took a second to admire his body, i would never get tired of doing that.

he grinned. “you gonna just sit there and stare?”

i giggled and straddled his lap, kissing him again. his hands moved to my hips, fingers almost digging into the soft skin.

he deepened the kiss, tongue swiping at my bottom lip until i opened for him.

one of his hands slid up the inside of my thigh. i moaned into his mouth, shifting my weight against him.

he broke the kiss, “you’re so fucking pretty.” he said, voice nearly a raspy whisper. he flipped us around suddenly, me on my back on the bed with him hovering above me.

i wrapped my legs around his waist and brought him closer, rolling my hips up against his until he groaned and ducked his head to kiss my neck again.

i moaned, hands tugging at the waistband of his jeans. “these need to come off,” i murmured, arching up against him again.

he pulled back slightly, just enough to get the jeans and boxers off, then settled back between my legs.

i ran my manicured hands up the front of his chest, feeling how he inhaled sharply as i drug my nails along his abs and back down over his hips. 

he leaned back down, his right hand running up and down the insides of my thighs until he was rubbing me over the fabric of my underwear.

he moved them to the side, and i gasped when his finger ran up my slit.

“oh god..” i moaned.

his fingers circled my clit, spreading my wetness around and pressing a little harder. i moaned again, and could feel him smiling against my neck. “you’re so wet.” he murmured. “you want me that bad?”

“yes,” i nodded.

he moved his hand, pressing a digit inside. i arched up against him, trying to get more. “please..” i said, a little breathless. “chris, please..“

he added a second finger as i moaned.

“don’t tease,” i said, still trying to get more of him. “i need–“ i stopped with a gasp when he curled his fingers. “oh, god.” he let out a laugh.

i smacked his chest lightly, then moaned again when he hit that spot again. “chris, mm!” hips rolling up to meet his hand. he moaned into my neck, the sound sending shivers down my spine.

he pulled his hand out, and i whined, but he was already lining himself up. he slid inside me, my body tensing at the stretch, and we both moaned together. “oh god,” i whimpered, feeling him rock forward slowly. he leaned in to kiss and bite at my neck, giving me a moment to adjust.

he started a slow, steady rhythm as i moaned with each thrust. i moved my hands to his back, fingernails raking over his shoulders. he moaned again, biting down on my shoulder.

“faster,” i moaned. “chris, please– faster.”

he obliged, speeding up. he shifted up a bit, pushing my legs further apart, and changing the angle. i almost cried out loudly, covering my mouth. “there, right there,” i moaned, hands moving to grip his arm.

he continued his rhythm and the heat in my stomach coiled tighter and tighter. “chris– i’m close,” i moaned, my legs tightening around his waist.

“yeah,” he moaned. “me too– shit.” his rhythm was faltering now, hips losing their steady beat.

his hand moved back down between us and he circled my clit with his fingers, picking up where he’d left off. my moans got louder, almost whiny. his fingers rubbed at my clit faster, harder, more desperate.

he was getting even more rough now, driving into me hard and fast. “chris– right there, right there, don’t stop–“ he hit my g-spot a few more times and that was it.

 my back came up off the bed and i moaned, feeling my walls flutter around him. he groaned loud and pressed deep “that’s it, god’s you’re so tight.” he moaned as my muscles gripped him. he came inside me, my legs shook and my head rolled back as i moaned louder.

his hips stilled and he moaned, burying his face in my neck. i could feel his warm breath as he pressed open mouthed kisses to my skin. his weight was pinning me down, and we just laid like that for a moment.

he shifted a bit, resting his forehead against mine. “fuck. you look so pretty,” he said. i giggled and brought his face back to mine to kiss him.

he kissed me back, gentler now, before pulling out. he flopped back down next to me, and i leaned over him, running my fingers down his chest. he pulled me against him carefully, and i settled myself on him.

he pressed a kiss into my hair. “love you,” he mumbled, hand gently running up and down my side. i hummed happily, pressing a light kiss to the center of his chest. “love you too.”

i was brought back to reality a few moments later. “"fuck, i still need to shower- wait, what time is it?"  i asked. he leaned over to grab his phone from the nightstand. 

“uhh..” he squinted at the time. “2:47.”

i groaned. "shit, chris, i have an event tomorrow," i started to get up to head to the shower, chris’ sheet wrapped around me.

he grabbed my wrist, pulling me back down. “no, i miss you.” he said.

“chris, i’m all gross and sticky, and my makeup’s all ruined. i need to shower.” i whined, but i couldn’t help but smile at his words.

“you’re not gross, you’re perfect,” he mumbled, trying to pull me closer.

"i am gross, and i need to shower." i rolled my eyes fondly, standing up again.

he groaned and pouted. “fine. go get your stupid shower.” he said. i giggled, then leaned down to kiss his cheek. “i’ll be back,” i said before getting up and going into his bathroom.

i got to the bathroom and started the shower, while i waited for it to warm up, i took the time to admire the state i was in in the full length mirror. my skin was marked with various hickeys and small bites, my hair messy, my makeup smudged and mostly gone. i touched the spot on neck where he had bit me earlier; i knew it was going to be a dark bruise tomorrow. i decided i would cover it with makeup, wasn’t anything i wasn’t used to.

i was too tired to take a full shower, but i washed my body and face and brushed my teeth with the toothbrush i kept there. when i got out and opened the door back into chris' room, he was clothed and laying back on his bed, scrolling his phone, the tv was still on.

he looked up when i entered the room, and a smirk immediately took over his face at the sight of me in only my towel. “you done being all ‘clean and perfect’ now?” he asked.

"'clean and perfect?' chris, are you seriously not gonna shower?" i retorted.

he shook his head. “it’s like 3 am, i’m not showering.”

i tsked, heading over to look through his dresser and grab something to sleep in. i had my own clothes there, but i liked sleeping in his, i put on my own underwear but grabbed a hoodie and sweatpants that were his.

when i got in bed, he immediately pulled me close so i was laying half on top of him, hands sneaking under the hoodie to settle on my waist.

he rested his chin on the top of my head, and i snuggled into him. it was silent for a few minutes before he spoke. “i know you’re tired, but can we talk about something?”

"about earlier? the whole party thing?" i asked.

he sighed. “yeah,” he said, then paused. i stayed silent, waiting for him to form his thoughts, and he shifted beneath me. “i’m trying so hard to act normal but it’s like–“ he huffed, and i could feel his grip tighten on my waist. “i know most of our friends know we’re dating, and it’s been this like– ‘you can’t tell just anyone’ type of thing, and earlier i said we could be more public, and we really can if that's what you want, but you need to know how insane the internet will be.”

i was quiet for a second. i understood where he was coming from, i leaned up a little so i could look at him. “i know, chris. everything we've done for the last year, every video, every stream, every time we’ve ever looked at each other, it’s all been overanalyzed to the extreme. and they’re never upset with you, they’re upset with me, and i get that that scares you, it kinda scares me too, but...” i paused, shifting my position so i was almost straddling him again, and finding my next words, but he spoke before i could.

“i don’t wanna be scared anymore.” he said. “not when it feels like this..”

he was looking up at me, eyes searching my face and expression, waiting to see if i understood what he was trying to say. i gently slid a hand up to cup his face, thumb running over his jawline in a soothing gesture. “i don’t wanna be scared either,” i said, quietly, and he visibly relaxed slightly, like my answer actually calmed him.

he looked like he wasn't exactly sure where to go from here, so i spoke. "listen, none of this has to be right this second. we don't have to hard launch right away, especially not at 3 in the fucking morning." 

he let out a small laugh. “agreed.” he said, and i could feel the tension leave his body. "we can figure this out in the morning, or sometime soon, but right now i just want to sleep. and cuddle." he said, giving my waist a light squeeze.

"yeah," i whispered, snuggling closer to him. "that sounds good." my body felt heavy, the exhaustion of the night finally catching up with me. i could feel the tension in my own muscles start to melt away, and i relaxed into him, letting the comfort of his presence lull me. he was still tracing small patterns on my side, the motion soothing, grounding.

as i settled in, the quiet hum of the room surrounding us, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting a warm light over everything, the low murmur of the tv on the wall,  just enough to create a background noise, barely audible over the sound of our breathing.

chris's fingers had stopped their gentle tracing on my skin, and his breathing had slowed to a steady rhythm. the tv’s volume stayed low, a whisper of a distraction, but not enough to pull me away from the weight of his presence next to me.

his chest rose and fell beneath me, steady and calming, and before i even realized it, my mind started to quiet, too. the sounds of the room, the faint laugh from the tv, everything blurred into one soft, indistinguishable blanket of sound. and then, just like that, the world felt small. 

[therobotsarestuckinmyhead]

Hi, I’d like to make a request. Could you write a Transformers One headcanon featuring Optimus, Elita, and Bumblebee, with a male Cybertronian reader who has a dual personality? The reader’s original personality is friendly, sweet, and even a bit goofy. However, his other personality is cold, terrifying, and more prone to violence. This darker side may have been born from a traumatic experience so intense that it triggered a new, more aggressive and dangerous persona as a form of self-protection. The only way to bring the reader back to his normal self is by making him lose consciousness.

☆|♡ [TFO] BOTS w/ a Dual Personality Reader

OHHHHH I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS FOR THIS ONE HEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHE but you didn't mention whether platonic or romantic so again, taking a thin middle line! i initially has two separate plotlines in mind but went with this one, other one was about reader being trapped in a cave-in at the mines and ending up with life-long trauma

scenario: a traumatized ex-High Guard member chose to stay with the Autobots instead of following the flock to Megatron

warning: mentions of anxiety attacks

including: Optimus, Elita One, B-127/Bumblebee

BACKGROUND:

You were initially a part of The High Guard. But for some vaguen unnamed reason, you shifted to the Autobot's side instead of joining Megatron. Something along the lines of not wanting to follow "a newcomer hot shot who dares to think he's the second coming of Megatronus". Clearly, you weren't very fond of having, once again, in your words "a miner nobody" cosplay as your old Commander, Megatronus who you clearly to this day hold immense respect for.

You're somewhat of a mystery to most Autobots. They wonder if you have some or the other ulterior motive, maybe a spy? But its only a very small portion of Autobots who suspect this. You do your best to ignore them.

As a seasoned soldier who's seen the horrors of war during your time in service, you are an important asset to the Autobot Cause. Of course, this also meant you had your own... hurdles to say the least. One which made you quite feared amongst the High Guard during Starscream's reign of it but most of your Autobot friends have yet to really see that part of you. They don't understand why the Decepticons seem to get so tense when they see you.

Optimus:

— Optimus actually appreciates your presence a lot more than you'd think. With your experience as a member of the old Cybertronian High Guard, you're able to provide valuable and insightful viewpoints when it comes to military tactics.

— Not to mention the fact that you've interacted with most of the newly formed Decepticon High-Command so you have more than surface level knowledge about the newest treats to Iacon city. Again, more valuable information especially since Optimus' is inexperienced with running a military.

— Optimus once asked for some intel on the Quintessons, what you know of them as the Hall of Records did lack significant data about how Quintessons function. Whether it be their biology or their society. But the moment you heard "Quintesson", its like you froze on the spot. It confused him and concerned him but he managed to snap you out of it before the other personality could take over. This is the first time he feels something odd about you.

— Optimus doesn't doubt your loyalty to the Autobots no matter what the others may think. It baffles the other Autobots but it makes you a lot more approachable to them, your war-frame is a bit intimidating to the old Autobot miners of Iacon who hadn't really seen anything outside of the mines.

— But Optimus actually likes that you're friendly for that very same reason, you're disarming despite being a rather well-known figure back during the days of the High-Guard.

— He notices how strange your behaviour is whenever the topic of the Quintesson War is brought up. Prime doesn't really say anything about it because he isn't sure how you would take it and how you'd feel about it either. Optimus doesn't want to bring up bad memories. He can definitely tell that the war with the Quintessons has taken a great toll on you.

— And it gets even clearer when the talk of going to the surface emerges. You visibly stiffen and the crimson hue of your optics get a little more dim. You look lost, almost. The other side of you threatens to take control during such moments but he doesn't really know that.

— Until he sees it first hand, he had told you that you could sit out the expedition if you didn't want to come, that you weren't obligated to come along but you insisted it was alright. Only for a, now looking back at it, an unfortunate Quintesson soldier to come into your periphery.

— Optimus didn't know what happened but it was like you went on autopilot, as if you were programmed with the soul intention of terminating Quintessons. You looked exactly the same but your EM field no longer had any of the amicable, laid-back fun; it was tucked to tightly to your frame, Optimus thought you might combust. It was like your guard just shot up immediately and you became a different person.

"Stop. It's... they're dead. There's only one of them" Optimus holds you servo tightly, he's clearly caught off-guard with the sheer violent depravity of your actions. Granted Quintessons were their enemies, you don't need to bash their helm into unrecognizable fragments with the muzzle of your servo-held blaster. His blue optics are narrowed at you, in soft way— your actions remind him of D when he got his servos on Sentinel. While he hadn't seen it, he'd seen the remains of the false Prime to know what his old friend had done. You turned your helm to him and your optics seemed hollowed out for a moment, the usual gleam of mischief and fun replaced with a cold, violent seriousness he's yet to see from you. Optimus has never felt so concerned about you ever in his life. Thankfully, the other's didn't get to see this. You and Optimus were unfortunate... or fortunate enough to get separated from the others. "There's never just one of them." You mutter out, flat as you look into his optics before walking towards the others. "Stay close. We have to leave quick." Your words ring through his helm as he stares at what remains of the Quintesson with one question on his processor:

Just what have you been through?

— The entire trip back to Iacon after successfully surveying Quintesson activity, you were quieter than usual. It really confused him... He wonders if anything to do with Quintessons might be some sort of trigger? Optimus isn't sure. He might have to talk it out with someone who's educated on the matter. Optimus does want to help you, you understand what's wrong. He consults Ratchet, without really mentioning you in the context out of consideration (what if you don't like being mentioned?) but the old medic is more familiar with... physical injuries than mental scars so Ratchet informs Optimus that he would have to see into some medical datapads.

— Until then, he's going to refrain from bringing up anything about Quintessons. He is sure there's a chance you won't like it when he tells you that you're not going to come with him for the next expedition...

Elita One:

— She was a bit skeptical of you at first, she will be entirely honest about that. It was just a bit suspicious how you seemed to stick with them when the rest of your friends, your comrades you'd known for years all flocked like sheep to a shepherd, towards Megatron.

— But Elita soon realized her suspicious were for nothing because you're actually a pretty cool bot, to her at least. You're fun and the two of you often spar. It's a relationship which took a while to build though.

— Your battle experience makes it so that you often give Elita advice on how she would make her kicks hurt even more and her punches dent even deeper, its solid advice and it soon turns to having training sessions with her. Elita enjoys the time she gets training with you. Especially since she is a member of the current Autobot High-Command, it is pivotal she knows more than just the basics of combat; especially since she's to be Commander.

— And you can see she's got the skill! You constantly motivate her while teaching her different methods and providing constructive crticism, she likes that a lot. Elita's battlefield powess only seems to grow after a good, long training session with you. The two of you are a deadly duo!

— So when on the way back to Iacon after the surveillance mission, she wondered why you looked and felt so... off. Your usual open EM field tightly held to your frame, you're typically not a closed off individual and it makes her frown.

"Hey, you okay?" She asks as the party continues to move forward. Optimus too was eerily quiet after giving out the order to go back to Iacon.

You don't respond and it annoys her but seeing that dead stare, as if you weren't even in this world... it was unsettling. Elita chose not to say anything after that but she's going to keep a close optic on you. Your behaviour is nothing like how you usually are. It's a complete 180.

Elita huffs as she continues to walk side by side with you, Optimus leading the team at the front. She knows you and Optimus got separated from rest of the team... she wonders what happened. Elita will be sure to ask Optimus what went down

She notices the strange oozing substance on your servos. Her optics narrow at the droplets, they don't look like energon— instead almost like some organic matter she just has never seen before.

Elita will get to the bottom of this.

— When Elita cares about someone, as a friend or anything else, she will make sure to find out what exactly is going on when they're acting odd. She isn't the type to sit around and do nothing. Elita One goes on to ask Optimus what happened and he explains, almost hesitantly. But he conveniently leaves out the more gorey details. From what she can conclude, you must've had something like an anxiety attack which understandably would make your mood a lot more sour.

— But ever since the expidition, you've been... moody. You're usually never moody. Granted you have an attitude sometimes, it was never permanent! Bee was also confused.

— Not to mention how much more... careless you've been during your usual sparring session with Elita. You always said her footwork could use some improvement but just take a look at yourself! You're moving unfocused when it comes to dodging her attacks, as if you're tanking it all for the sake of landing a blow on her. The sparring session the two of you had the next day after the whole expidition did not go well.

"HEY!" That punch thankfully landed right against the wall, the small impact crater formed in the shape of your balled up servos a testament to the force behind that blow— It was like you had nothing more than killing intent!

Elita does feel slightly scared but she manages to mask it with her will to snap you back to normal, using the time you were trying to turn around to deal a crisp kick right against your helm and knocking you out.

Her vents are huffing, you always you were 'holding back'... she didn't think you were serious about it! She barely managed to dodge your tackling attempt. What really had her concerned was the way you were taking every hit from her just to land a single, painful blow. Your pain receptors much be a lot tougher than she previously assumed; it's both terrifying and awe inducing in a way, she does admire your strength.

Elita looks down at your knocked-out form and decides she should probably take you to the med-bay... Your training sessions with her did get a little intense sometimes so Elita doesn't really expect anyone to some prying for an explanation.

— Your optics flicker open to see Elita looming over you as your flat against a medical berth and she can see the confusion etched across your features. You're looking around and looking back at her as if you have no clue as to why you're here! She's frowning hard and demands an explanation as to why you were acting that way.

— Elita is taking notes of how your frame stiffens, how you seem to go speechless for a moment as she reminds you of what you did. If it weren't for the genuine surpise your EM field was radiating. It shocks her too and the two of you are suprised.

— After talking to you a bit more, it finally dawns on her that you genuinely have no idea what happened or remember anything up until you saw that Quintesson.

— Elita looks at Ratchet and he's shrugging, saying how he'll have to check with more medical texts to come up with a diagnosis for this one. Elita is genuinely concerned. But she tries to pretend it didn't ever happen, until she can figure out what exactly was with you.

B-127/Bumblebee:

— You and Bee are thick as thieves with your usual shenanigans and tomfoolery when you're not being 'advisor to the Prime'. So it basically means you and Bee get very little time together.

— Nevertheless, with how chatty he is, it didn't take long for you to really get close with him because he's the one initiating most of the conversations. His talkativeness also ends up making the bots who converse with him open up quicker.

— He may not look like it but he's a silent observer, he can see the subtle discomfort on your frame whenever the topic of Quintessons are brought up in your conversations with him. Bee has learnt to avoid it. He has people-pleasing tendencies so he picks up on things like this rather quickly unlike what most bots would think. He's just incredibly optimistic but even he can't think of a positive reason as to why you'd be on edge when Quintessons are mentioned.

— Bee is probably the only one who's ever gotten to hear you war stories, it takes time but as the more you talk to him, the more you end up opening up despite the barriers you've set for yourself. Bee can feel how guarded you get; how you EM field shrinks as you try desperately to ensure that he can't feel how overwhelmed you are despite the strong face, how your voice goes uncharacteristically soft, the way look like you're remembering something which Bee can only describe as bad.

— Despite being able to pick up on these cues, he doesn't really know... what to do after. Usually, its just him nervously laughing and desperately trying to change the topic. This is not only for you but also for him because Bee is terrified of being left alone again, he doesn't want you to lose someone who means a lot to him like you do— Bee doesn't want you to leave him because of something he said. Whether its platonic or otherwise.

— He would, by sheer fucking accident, end up learning about this... issue you had back when you were in the High Guard and how you don't really know what's wrong with you, how you have these episodes and you can't really remember somethings when you have these episodes. He knows this but he's sworn not to tell anyone. He's trying his hardest not to jump up and down, shout it out at Ratchet while he's trying to figure out more signs and symptoms as to what could be up with you, a secret task assigned to him by Optimus & Elita. Ratchet is huffing, he's no damn psychologist!

— Bee is also relatively good at relatively pacifying the darker personality with how disarming he is. While Elita just knocks you out cold, Bee is more of a talking type but it just tames that darker side a bit more, not really makes it go away.

— Sometimes, Bee even matches the other violent personality's style. He's showing off what his knife hands can do and why he's banned from the training grounds while you rack up more bodies. There are times when Bee can't tell which personality is currently in control but he knows that the switch only happens when you see something with deeply reminds you of the Quintesson War. Bee is able to heal that traumatized soldier within you, slowly.

im sorry for how short the Bumblebee segment was, i blew up my budget on Elita & Oppy... ran out of ideas for Bee </3

FYI, every time you guys forget mention whether you want the request to be platonic or romantic, this is me:

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

Gorgeous - Tim Bradford x Reader - Chapter 3

A/N: I'm loving the attention this little series is getting! My only warnings for this one are as follows...

We also get to hear Tim's POV on things; yay!

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of abuse (very slight) someone gets hurt, and LOTS of fluff!

Word Count: 1,542

As always, feedback is welcome! Tag list request is open!

Gorgeous Masterlist| Masterlist of all Masterlists

When I saw Tim again, the air was thick. Yesterday he held me, he actually wrapped both his arms around me, pulled me close, and offered himself up as a comfort. I may have imagined the whole thing but I think he kissed me. Well, it was a kiss on my head but it was a kiss nonetheless. My boss kissed me. Was this a normal thing? Did he comfort all his rookies like this?

“Good morning, Sarge,” I say, walking over to the rookie table at the morning briefing. He couldn’t even look at me, just offered me a nod in my general direction. Throughout the briefing, I was in a daze, a million different thoughts running through my head.

“Be safe out there,” Sergeant Gray said, ending briefing like he always did. Everyone got up from their seats but Tim didn’t move so I remained seated. I watched the room empty around us and then we were alone. Once again, he didn’t speak, just grabbed his coffee, his phone, and his war bag and we were back out on the road. Driving around the city was eerily quiet; he still wouldn’t look at me.

“Tim?” I ask in a small, careful voice. Normally, he would get mad at me for not calling him Sergeant Bradford but he kept quiet, his eyes fixed on the road ahead of us. “You can’t even look at me”! I said, exasperated with the man beside me.

“That shouldn’t have happened, yesterday at the hospital, I, I shouldn’t have held you or kissed you. It was unprofessional and it won’t happen again,” he said, finalizing the conversation but I was in no way finished talking.

“Hang on a second, you don’t get to decide when this conversation ends; I have thoughts too. Yesterday meant a lot to me. I never mentioned this to anyone else but I’ve been in Serena’s shoes before; my ex-boyfriend was extremely abusive with me, both physically and mentally, so being in the hospital again, dealing with an abusive situation, hit home for me. You being there for me the way you were, meant everything to me. It proved to me that you aren’t always an asshole, and believe me, I was almost convinced you only had a mean streak. Tim still stayed quiet but he did something I wasn’t expecting. He took one hand off the steering wheel and reached over to grab one of my hands that was in my lap. I looked down and saw him squeeze my hand. I looked over to him but he kept his eyes on the road. He didn’t let go either, just kept driving so I sat in silence, my eyes never leaving our hands. His was much larger than mine, hair lining each of his fingers so I ran mine over each of his; he had freckles sprinkled on his hand too. His skin was soft but there were calluses on the palm, probably from all the times he gripped a gun tight. I turned his hand over so his palm was facing up and I absentmindedly traced shapes onto his skin. It had been years since I was this close to a man but I knew Tim wouldn’t hurt me.

“Alpha 2-3, we have a call of traffic assistance needed on the shoulder off of I-110. Caller states he is trying to change a flat tire but cars are flying too fast and he is worried he is going to get hit.” A dispatcher calls over the radio. Tim takes his hand back places it back onto the wheel and quickly turns the shop around to take us up onto the freeway. Luckily, we weren’t too far away so we were able to get to the driver quickly.

“(Y/N) grabbed some traffic cones from the back of the shop, I got the lights on so that should alert drivers to slow down. I’m going to see if I can’t help the driver.”

I go around the shop lift the trunk and find several traffic cones. Grabbing as many as I could in my arms, I rush over to where Tim is and try to place the cones around.

“Not too close to together! Spread them out and put them further out from the car!” Tim yells over the sound of the cars rushing by.

I walked slowly to the edge of the car and began placing the cones around the perimeter before I heard my name being screamed out. I didn’t have a chance to react, just looked to my left and I saw a piece of metal come flying towards me.

Tim’s POV

(Y/N) was the most infuriating Rookie I ever taught, well next to Lucy, but there was something about her that made me want to be close to her all the time.

“My ex-boyfriend was extremely abusive with me, both physically and mentally, so being in the hospital again, dealing with an abusive situation, hit home for me. You being there for me the way you were, meant everything to me. It proved to me that you aren’t always an asshole, and believe me, I was almost convinced you only had a mean streak.”

I couldn’t believe she knew exactly what Serena was going through; I wanted to find that man and beat the shit out of him. I barely knew (Y/N) but since I’ve known her, I’ve known her to be the most beautiful and stubborn woman I’ve ever met. Who would want to hurt her? She was smart as a whip, and her instincts were sharp as a tack; I’ll admit she was a good cop. Mostly because I was training her but she had a way with people that can’t be taught. She knew just the right things to say and do to make people comfortable and to open up to her. She was good with the victims; perps, not so much. Granted she hasn’t handled them as much because I step in; I guess I’m rather protective of her. Of course, I couldn’t tell anyone but when I saw her break down last night, it was like I wasn’t in control of my own body. The next thing I knew, I was on the ground with her, holding her tight, trying to keep her safe from anything bad happening to her. Then after her confession of being in the same situation as Serena, I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She seemed stunned by my action, hell so was I, but it just felt right, especially when she didn’t let go. She kept her eyes on our hands and she began drawing shapes on my palms. I felt my chest tighten a bit at the callouses but she didn’t seem to mind. Her fingers played with the hair on my fingers and she traced the freckles on my skin too; it felt innocent. I was enjoying the touch of her skin against mine and sitting in silence but of course, it didn’t last long.

“Alpha 2-3, we have a call of traffic assistance needed on the shoulder off of I-110. Caller states he is trying to change a flat tire but cars are flying too fast and he is worried he is going to get hit.” A dispatcher calls over the radio. I take my hand back place it back onto the wheel and quickly turn the shop around to take us up onto the freeway.

“(Y/N) grabbed some traffic cones from the back of the shop, I got the lights on so that should alert drivers to slow down. I’m going to see if I can’t help the driver.”

“Hey man, I’m Sergeant Bradford, I’m here to help,” I say to the young driver of the car. He only seemed to be about 17 years old and like he never changed a flat tire before.

“Hey thanks, I’m Logan. I would appreciate someone helping keep that traffic away from me as I do this,” he said, chuckling a bit.

I laughed a bit too and said, “Well my partner is actually working on that, do you need help with the tire?”

“That would be great. My Dad hasn’t had time to teach me yet so I don’t really know what I’m doing here.”

“No problem, here, let’s find your jack and lift up the car,” I say and do what I said, finding the jack and the spare and started cranking the lever to lift the car off the ground. I looked over and saw (Y/N) placing around the car but she wasn’t doing too good of a job. Oh, sweet girl. I thought to myself.

“Not too close to together! Spread them out and put them further out from the car!” I yell but I don’t know how well I’m heard over the sounds of the cars rushing by on the freeway. I kept watching her for a moment and as I did, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. A car swerved to miss us, crashing into the concrete barrier, and a chunk of the front bumper broke off and flew right toward (Y/N). I screamed her name but it was too late; she was hit.  

@pinkwondersworld @gensweird

Previous chapter| Next chapter

[arsonlookers]

A new life ♡

Part 2 ( In another life you are mine ) warning: slight suggestive, yandere behavior (at first), possessive, mentioned of killing (at first).

After returning a Year before your death, he has done plenty of things just for your survival, honey~.

Such as tracking that bastard who caused your death and killed him of course you will never know that. It's best not to know that at all, sweetheart~.

Since then, he has lived his second life with you and even takes breaks and uses his extended vacations to spend time with you.

His previous works? Don't worry he finished it even though his future works and projects are also already dealt with. He uses his knowledge and experience from his last lifetime to spend more time with you, to spend more time in his lovely home with his lovely wife~.

Even his co-workers were shocked by his sudden change. He hadn't even been seen in the casino recently since they thought he took his vacation to gamble, but no. He's not even been there for like a week now.

He was just laying in his bed every morning beside you, admiring you, remembering himself who he would spend his mornings forever with. YOU of course. He knows everything, he will do anything to spend more time with you, give gifts, cook for you morning till night, go shopping with you, ah~ have intimate sessions 7 till 3 in the morning~ why would he miss it? He doesn't even want to miss it.

What is the most effective way to claim you than making you his:)

He means it every second, every minute, every hour, seven days a week ~ since the day he had you in his arms again, he has been doing it nonstop just because why can't he? How can he keep his sanity sane after all this time and after everything? Of course, he'll take his chance, he'll take care of you,~ of course,~ no protection, honey~

He suffered so much already, living a life without you? That was hell. He was already living in hell once. He doesn't want to go through that once more. You're his only his, what's there to not do~ Body, soul, everything you are is his only HIS.

"Good morning dear" as he kisses your forehead and cares your hair slowly

"morning" your voice roughed and quiet

He chuckled hearing you like this, he loved hearing how much you are so messed just like a remembrance of last night's roughness~

slowly as he drags his kisses from your forehead down to your eyes and down to your cheeks and he teases you by kissing your lips and biting your lower lips

"mmMM~ vasha...." he smirked hearing your calling, it only turned him on by this, so he did more by kissing you deeper and asking for opening as he bite and nibbled on your lower lips eyes hungry for you.

The only thing you could do is give him more access to you and lean more against him.

He changed wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you deeper as he changed position and turned you around now topping you.

"Dont mind another round baby~" ~And you know the rest~

Fucked and Drunk of him, only him~ in your fcked up mind, isn't that what you also wanted~? How you also just want his attention to you, and only you~ He will take what's his this time, he will let the world know you're his, he will do anything to stop that fking fate. To make sure to mark you so good nobody would try to even think about you nor do you think about any man at all~.

Then a miracle happened so different from his last life, his little miracle.

It has been going on every day, you feel sick and you are constantly vomiting. You don't know if it's because you have eaten something bad or .... you just aren't feeling well... right?

You vomited again, Aventurine was just behind you holding your hair up. In his free hand, he rubbed your back and kept reassuring you as you vomited again.

"Should we go to check up now, honey? I am worried about you" he said as he wiped your mouth from the vomit.

"kakavasha....do you think...it's what I think?" as you hold his hand shaking a little as a little smile graces your lips excited about the possibility.

He smiled at you as he hugged and held you dearly "If it is. You're making me the happiest man alive" Tears flow in his eyes thinking about the possibility of you bearing his child brings so much joy and fear in him.

The two of you embraced each other, aventurine couldn't stop his tears from falling as he kept mumbling how happy and thankful he was"Thank you....thank you..." As he embraced you, you could feel how he was a little shaken.

He doesn't know if it's from pure happiness or just... fear about this new life that's going to change his life.

You have known about his past long ago, he has told you about it since the day he asked you to be his girlfriend. You know how this news brings him joy yet also pain and strike fear in him, Aventurine your dear husband loves you dearly, even at the times he was busy and cold you understood him and how dangerous his job is.

Other than the mask and personality as flamboyant as he seemed, you know that within him he is afraid about it, anxious even.

And your assumption is true, Aventurine is anxious about this he know he loves you and your soon-to-be baby though he's afraid that he...could be a good dad for them...A good father who will love them just like how his sister loves him. He doubts if he could truly do this...

You noticed it and comforted him through it telling him how he will be a good dad for them, how adorable and protective he will be.

"dear, you gonna be fine I promise...you promised to be with me all the time yeah?" as you rubbed his back

he nodded as he leaned more against you and hugged you tighter "I promise" You chuckled and cared for his hair "See, I believe in you...so please..believe in me too okay?"

".... baby..." he whispered slowly "I..promise I'll be a good husband too... I promise, baby." he said as he buried his face in your shoulder and hugged you tightly

The very next day the two of you visit the clinic together. He is more nervous than you are, just by waiting outside his hands can't stop playing with the token he always has.

As you held his hand all you could do was chuckle at his behavior. on your other hand, you cares his thigh calmly dragging your finger slowly up and down.

"You're more nervous than me dear, calm down it's not good for our baby~" as I teased him

After just talking with him about things to take his mind off whatever he was thinking the nurse called for us to come in

after some procedures and tests waiting

"Congratulations! You've been pregnant for about 7 weeks now" The doctor smiled and congratulated us happily.

As we exited the hospital and arrived at our apartment the first thing Aventurine did was hug you tightly as he sobbed quietly on your shoulder. All you can do is wrap your arms around him and pat his back gently as you reassure him and thank him for everything. For this little miracle, he has given to you.

The next thing you know you're already on the bed with his arms wrapped around you.

"Thank you" he said so quietly with his voice shaking and cracking that you nearly missed it.

"No... Thank you, Kakavasha" as you tighten your hold on his hand and look at him full of affection "I never feel loved more than anybody before ...and you know that as much as I do...so thank you for ...giving me the chance to...love you...to ...love our little miracle ..." as tears falls on your eyes.

Kakavasha knows your story, he knows how hard and how lonely you were before. He did start to be with you because he sees himself in you but seeing where the two of you are now, together, brings more joy than ever, and now a little bundle of joy will be part of your little happiness.

He held you tightly against him he said quietly "No...please...thank you...i..I dont know what to do without you...I...dear...my lovely angel...Thank you for giving me the chance to love you so so much... " Tears falls on his puffy eyes again "I... I promise...I'm gonna be a good husband...a good father....I'll give you everything...anything...so please.. please dear let me love you don't leave me"

The two of you both cried that night and slept in each other's arms not caring about the world, about anyone...just the two of you, just you and him.

That same night aventurine promised to himself yet again how he would love you, make you the happiest woman alive, spoil you more and more, make you his, love you and your little princess or prince with all his heart, and protect you more than anyone. even if it means his life.

Over the 9 months of pregnancy, Aventurine was the most overbearing, overprotective, over-anxious, and over just over everything when it comes to you.

Craving something weird? Done! He Bought a lot of it, in one swipe of his black card:).

Moody, clingy, angry, happy? Don't worry he handles you so well he's like over it a hundred times, and food is always ready~

Tired of walking? Don't worry, you don't even need to do anything at all. Dishes? he did that! Laundry? Finished already! cooking? Nope, he already has everything you need and wan't to eat! You can rest all day on the bed and even he massages your hands and feet all the time, after all, he is just one call away~!

Can't reach anything under or can't tie your shoe? No worries~ you do not need to he will bend his knees only for you~

Always wants to go to the restroom? He already has a lot of patience, toilet paper, wet wipes, candy, and water in one bag everywhere anywhere!

Back pain? Always ready to massage you with chair at his hand when the two of you go out

You are aventurine's princess and Queen , and you shall be treated as one all the way before, during, and absolutely after pregnancy~

Between the two of you, Aventurine is the most excited and nervous wreck about the coming of the baby; everything is already taken care of, you know. The nursery is already prepared, and he was the one who took care of every essential the baby needed. Toys, diapers, T-shirts, pajamas, milk, baby food, EVERYTHING is already taken care of by Aventurine, even before knowing the gender of the baby, he is already shopping every time he goes out. Every single detail of the nursery he hand-picked everything, and of course, you also got to have your opinion on everything he did, he loves you too much to leave you out of this special moment.

Don't worry Aventurine is always by your side every time, 24/7 when possible, at every check-up, every craving, every moody swing, every little thing, Kakavasha is always been by your side not even a single part of something in your life he has been missing throughout your pregnancy.

It was during your usual morning as you wake up and want to eat something so you sit up and drag your body downstairs calling out to him

"VAshaaaa" you called out in your needy voice

as you reached the kitchen you could already smell something heavenly. As Aventurine helps you sit down there the water suddenly breaks and Aventurine panics a little

"omg!! Oh my god!! DEAR! " he holds your other hand and looks at you in a panic face and voice. He calms himself down and immediately hold you runs towards the car and drive to the hospital.

As he was waiting for you outside the delivery room he was anxious, shaking, sweating while waiting it feels like forever waiting outside.

After the delivery, the doctors let him in to see you and his born child. The moment he enters the delivery room and hears the cries of his born child laying on top of your exhausted body holding her so gently he comes close to you and holds your hand as he touches the baby with his shaking nervous hand.

"dear..." his voice shaking and teary eyes only focused on your child

As you urge him to hold the child, all he can do is be careful with her as he unsurely holds the child against his chest onto his arms and carefully holds her like some fragile glass.

"she...she's so..small" he can't stop looking at her and tears falling in his eyes.

Aventurine smiles softly at you as tears fall on his cheeks.

That is the last view you see before you close your tired eyes to get some rest after.

After the discharge and the two of you going home with the little one in your arms, he can't tear his eyes away from his sleepy little angel in your arms.

"She likes sleeping just like you, dear" he muttered

You heard him mutter and chuckle at his comment.

"Though she has your lovely eyes, vasha" As you gently touch the baby's cheeks

The baby stirred in her sleep and opened her little eyes and starts crying as you comforted her and tried to coax her, it's at this moment, Kakavasha knows, again fell in love with you.

4 years later...

"Daddy!" A little girl ran to him as he took him to the ground

Aventurine can only chuckle as he kisses his little angel non-stop.

she chuckles "daddy! daddy! stoppp! we we gotta surprise mommy!!" with her little hands she tries to stop her daddy from kissing her cheek

"Right, right my little angel is so right" he kissed her one last time pulled her into his arms, and carried her as he walked inside their home.

"Well, mommy surely will be happy" he put her down on the couch as he prepared for the surprise for you and his anniversary...

"Wait for us here with grandma okay, little angel?" he leaned in close to his daugther "I'll go pick mommy up from work. can you give daddy a goodluck kiss, little angel?" as he leaned his cheek close and point his finger gently against his cheek.

She leaned in and kiss him three times in the cheek for good luck "mwah! Okay daddy!" As she giggled sweetly infront of him.

As you get out from your work he is already waiting outside for you with a bouquet at hand.

People whisper about a handsome-looking man waiting for someone to reach your ears and you already know in one glance who this rich-looking handsome man is.

"Hi baby" as you slowly walk towards him

"Hi dear, how is my favorite princess? " as he handed you flowers and kissed you on the lips.

"Is there something special today, Aven?" you whisper not knowing what day is today.

"It's our 9th dating anniversary" he whispered back as he chuckled to himself, clearly knowing you had forgotten thanks to your very busy schedule

With your shocked expression, you look at him with wide eyes and teary "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry baby, I forgot" You hugged Aventurine and pulled him for a kiss

"hmmm, since you hurt my feelings by forgetting ~ you have to pay~" he dramatically says with his charming teasing smile

you could only tiredly chuckle, and nod "so, what do you have in mind, Aventurine?"

He smirked at your suggestion as he leaned in, trapping you against the car and starting to attack you with kisses.

This startled you, you can only accept our fate in his lips.

Passersby looking at this display can only be embarrassed by passing by and pretending they don't see the two of you. Some are staring, some are saying 'lovebirds'.

A few minutes later, before he stops, he kisses your lips and stops the attack.

"That's your punishment~" he leaned in close and hugged you.

You chuckled by his display and hugs him back.

He opens the car door for you, as you enter and close the door you notice a box in front of your seat.

"What is this, aven?" you curiously asked him as he get seating on the driver's seat.

"open it" he teasingly smile.

As you opened the box there lays a beautiful necklace, it's not that extravagant just a simple silver pendant necklace with a simple stone on the front that matched the color of his eyes

"This is...this is so beautiful, kakavasha" you smiled

"Open it" he said

as you open the pendant, reveals a family picture of you, him, and your little angel in the middle. The next thing you know you start crying and keep looking at the necklace.

"Thank you Vasha" you whispered.

He starts the car and drives into places you both have visited in the past, each place holds memories of your long-term relationship with the man.

At the end of the day, you have arrived at your very last destination.

Home.

He opens the door for you and beholds your child with flower bouquets in her cute little hands. Looking at her you bend down and kiss her cheeks.

"Such a cute little Angel!" peppering her cheeks with your kisses, she only giggles and hugs you back.

She held your finger and led you to the backyard, where everything was prepared. A table for two, flowers, candles, everything you like in front of you as you turned around to see Aventurine who wears a new pair of suites now.

"surprise~" he says as he leans close and kisses you on the lips

you can only chuckle and kiss him back. "You already surprise me a lot... Thank you so much, darling."

Your little angel was picked up by your mother for the night. So it's just you and Aveturine in the backyard garden he prepared for you.

"So~ how did you prepare this? You sneaky huh~" As we ate and toasted our glasses.

"I...may have gotten some helping hands that is all~"

After eating, he holds your hand and leads you to the center as he plays your music and starts leading you to sway in a slow dance.

You slid both your hands against his chest then up to his shoulder and then locked around behind his neck, both his hands wrapped around your waist sometimes sliding down to your hips.

Both of you embraced each other in silence, not daring to talk in this peaceful silence. He looks you in the eyes and yours in his. His calm yet small smile on his lips, leaning in and kissing your lips gently, not in a rush, not in pressure just soft and gentle.

"Thank you" You break the kiss and whisper against his lips.

"I..should be the one thanking you..." he whispered back.

"Thank you for coming into my life... for a second chance... Thank you for giving me a sweet sweet angel... thank you for being such a good mom...thank you...thank you so much for coming back into my arms" he kisses you again and breaks a little while later as he whispers with a tinge of sadness in his voice "I don't even want to wake up if this is a dream or... in hell."

Chuckle by his confession "hell? If this is hell then I will always gladly follow you. I love you from heaven to hell, always remember that" as you lead and kiss him again with a little passion.

Feeling your passionate kiss he wrapped his hand tightly around your waist and his other hands behind your head as he kissed you deeply.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and let him devour your lips as he bit and explored your mouth against his.

He breaks the kiss as he leans his forehead against yours and looks you in the eye as his unsteady breaths and yours fog between you on this cold night.

He whispered so gently "I love you, forevermore, in our next lives and next"

"You're so cheezy today" You chuckled as you kept eye contact "I love you too, even in our next" you whispered back.

He kisses you again and again until he breaks it and makes space between your closeness. He looks you in the eye moves his right hand and touches your cheek as he tugs back a loose strand of your hair.

"Then may I have the pleasure to... become officially yours?" he says with a smile.

You can see in his eyes the feelings he has for you. The light reflects its softness against his skin and eyes. As you look in his magenta eyes shine bright, so full of life... so unlike from when you first met him.

You can only nod afraid your voice will break if you say anything now.

Kakavasha then lets go of your waist and takes two steps back as he kneels on one knee, pulls a small box out of his pocket, and reveals a customized ring with a simple yet elegant design.

"Will... You marry me, [name]? "

You looked down at him and giggled as tears slipped down your cheeks. "Yes, of course, only you dear."  

He slipped the ring on your finger and kissed the back of your hand. Then kiss your fingers one by one, kiss the ring he just slid into your beautiful finger.

"Mine, you're now officially mine"

He stood tall in front of you leaned in close and kissed your lips.

That special night spent with him feels so different from other nights you spent, not rushed, not possessive. Just your gentle fiance holding you, making you his as you make him yours.

Two lonely souls one from the past reminding him that this is real, that you are real. And a present soul he once lost. The soul he yearns for is now in his arms again.

'This is not a dream... Thank goodness...' As Aventurine thinks in the middle of the night looking at your exhausted yet satisfied face asleep in his arms. Holding your hand in his, feeling the ring he has been keeping for you. The ring that is only meant on your finger. The same ring he was planning to give to you in his last life...

'... You are now where you rightfully belong.' He pulls your hand to his lips and kisses it.

As he peacefully sleeps knowing he has you in his arms this time and forever with his little miracle.

That night, his usual dreams of seeing you in his arms as you take your last breath, on your deathbed, have changed into a vivid dream of you and his little angel side by side wearing the most beautiful white dress and a cute flower dress for his little angel surrounded by flowers and butterflies.

Calling and waving to him.

He can only smile sweetly as he runs towards the two of you.

[charliedawn]

If I Needed You

WARNING: Angst. Mention of depressed Joel. My man needs emotional support. 😭

Synopsis: In a world shattered by the infection, you and Joel find fleeting moments of peace in one another’s company. One evening, tucked away by a dwindling campfire, you ask him what his favorite song was before everything fell apart. You find a recording in an old store and play it for him. In exchange, he finds a guitar and plays for you. When you later stumble through the woods and a clicker ambush nearly kills you, Joel wields that cherished guitar to save your life—but the weapon shatters on impact…You mourn it. But Joel doesn’t.

You were sitting on a moss-covered log, boots kicked off, rifle within reach. Joel was across from you, hunched over a blade, dragging it along a whetstone in slow, practiced strokes. The light from the fire made the lines on his face look deeper, older.

You watched him for a while before speaking.“Hey, Joel?”

He looked up, his eyes catching yours, and gave a quiet grunt. That was his way of saying go on.

“What was your favorite song?” you asked curiously with a small smile. “You know…before the world turned to shit.”

The scraping of the whetstone stopped. His hands stilled, and for a long second, he didn’t say anything. Just sat there, staring into the flames like the answer might be written in the coals.

Then he sighed. It was the kind of sigh that carried years.

“‘If I Needed You,’” he finally answered. “By Townes Van Zandt.”

You tilted your head. “Never heard of it.”

A dry chuckle left him. “Yeah, not many folks your age would’ve. Hell, not many folks left, period.”

“Why that one?” you asked with quiet curiosity. He looked at you, his eyes soft and far away, like they were looking back through time.

“It was simple. Real simple. And it said things plain. Not many people do that anymore. Just two people sayin’ they’d be there for each other, no matter what. I used to play it for—” He cut himself off. “Just meant somethin’ back then.”

He looked away then, towards the trees, or maybe somewhere beyond them. You didn’t speak. You let him keep going if he wanted. And, surprisingly, he did.

“I used to play it on the porch,” he added after a while—his eyes returning to the blade in his hand. “Back then. Sarah’d be inside, pretendin’ not to listen. But every time I looked up, she was smilin’. It was her favourite and I guess…it became mine too.”

The mention of her name was like a ripple in still water. You felt it, but didn’t touch it. You knew about his daughter…He had mentioned it over time, but you had never pried. You wouldn’t start now.

Instead, you offered a small smile. “You still remember the words?”

Joel let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “I ain’t singin’ for ya, woman.”

You laughed. “Come on! Not even a little?”

He gave you a mock glare, but the warmth in his eyes betrayed him.

“Maybe one day,” he reluctantly muttered, returning his gaze to the fire. “But not tonight.”

You nodded, letting the moment rest. But your eyes kept returning to him. Joel. The man who had saved you all those years ago. The man you had become the companion of ever since…The man you still knew less than you ought to. His eyes begged for…something. You wished you knew what. You wished you could give it to him…but his eyes eventually and ineluctably returned to the fire.

Later, when you curled into your sleeping bag beneath the stars, you whispered the song title to yourself to remember it.

“If I Needed You.”

And for the first time in a long time, you wished there was a radio. Just so you could hear what made Joel Miller ache…

…

You didn’t know the melody. Had never heard of Townes Van Zandt, not really. But the way Joel had said it, the way his voice had softened just enough to let something slip through—it made the song feel important. So, every stop you made after that—every broken-down house, every half-collapsed gas station, every skeleton of a record store—you checked the music sections. Old milk crates of dusty vinyls. CD towers with cracked cases. Cassette tapes half-melted by sun through shattered windows.

You rifled through them all.

Joel noticed, even if he didn’t say anything. Sometimes he’d just shake his head when you pulled out another moldy box of forgotten media. Other times, he’d sigh and hold the door open for you as you ducked inside some ruined music shop with more hope than sense.

“Still lookin’ for that song?” he’d ask now and then, voice rough but amused.

“Yep,” you’d say, brushing off a cassette with your sleeve. “One day I’ll find it. Mark my words.”

Most of the time, you didn’t. You found boy bands and forgotten one-hit wonders, mixtapes labeled Summer ‘98, and plenty of scratched Nirvana CDs—but never If I Needed You.

Still, you kept searching.

And then one day, in a snow-covered town half-buried under silence and ice, you finally found it. It was inside a rusted metal drawer behind the counter of an old convenience store, tucked beneath a pile of yellowed receipts and broken walkie-talkies. A cassette. The label had faded, but the handwriting was still legible.

Townes Van Zandt – Live Recordings.

You stared at it, breath fogging in the cold air, heart stuttering in your chest. You didn’t run to Joel with it. Not right away. Instead, you checked your pack—dug out the half-functioning Walkman you’d traded for weeks ago from a traveling group out east. You popped the tape in, said a silent prayer, and pressed play.

Static. Then…

If I needed you, would you come to me?

Would you come to me, and ease my pain?

You almost dropped the thing out of sheer shock and excitement.

That night, as you sat by the fire, you handed Joel the headphones without a word. He looked at you, puzzled at first, then took them. You pressed play. And you watched something in his face shift—his jaw tightening, his eyes going glassy, distant. He didn’t speak. He didn’t move.

He just sat there, listening to a voice from another world.

You admired the face of a broken man and saw his memories…memories of happier times roll behind his eyes like a silent movie. When the song ended, he took the headphones off and held them in his lap, staring down.

“You found it,” he simply pointed out.

You nodded—proud of your accomplishment. “Of course I did. I told you I would.”

He looked at you then, his mouth opened to maybe utter a quiet thank you…but no sound came out. Joel simply reached over and gently placed the headphones back in your hands.

“Do not lose that,” he told you.

You frowned a little. Okay. You hadn’t expected a thunder of applause or a victory dance but…

“That’s it? Not gonna even tell me ‘good job, Y/N’ or ‘Wow. Thanks a lot, Y/N.’”

He humphed and turned his head away—ignoring you. You restrained a defeated sigh. You should have known. Still. Disappointing.

…

You found the guitar two towns later.

It was buried beneath a pile of junk in the corner of an old thrift store, one that still had faded “50% OFF!” signs hanging in the windows like time had frozen mid-sale. Joel had been digging through the back for canned food when you heard him stop.

You turned to see him standing still, eyes locked on something.

The guitar was a little cracked down on the side, but it held together. Weathered and scuffed, sure—but whole. Joel picked it up with both hands and stared at it. He didn’t say a word about it that day. Just packed it carefully, wrapping it in an old flannel he carried, and tied it to his pack like he’d done this a hundred times before.

You didn’t question it. You knew better by now.

But three nights later, in some motel room while you were brushing dirt off your jacket, you heard him clear his throat behind you. You turned around and was surprised by the sight. Joel was sitting on the bed, guitar across his lap.

“I, uh…” he told you, not quite meeting your eyes. “I figured it’s almost your birthday. Close enough anyway. And hum…Thought maybe you’d like that as your early birthday present?”

You blinked. “Wait—how do you even know—?”

“You talk in your sleep,” he answered you quickly. That made you laugh, and he gave a rare half-smile. Then he looked down at the guitar and started tuning it by ear, fingers moving like they remembered their rightful place on the instrument.

“I don’t know if this’ll sound right,” he warned you. “Been a long time.”

You smiled and shrugged. “S’okay. Not everyday I get a private show. Probably don’t even know what goo music sounds like. You’re fine.”

He smiled and then he played.

Not just If I Needed You, though he started with it, soft and slow, his voice a little hoarse but sure. He played other songs, too—snippets of things from the world before. Songs you’d never heard but felt like you should’ve known. Then he paused, his thumb brushing along the strings, and admitted quietly, “Wrote this one…years ago. Never played it for anyone.”

He didn’t look at you when he played it. He stared at the wall, the kind of stare that saw something else entirely. The song was short. Something about a girl laughing on a summer porch. Boots on wooden steps and smiles on a sunny day…It wasn’t perfect. His voice cracked halfway through. His fingers stumbled once. But you’d never been given anything more precious.

When he finished, he looked at you, sheepish, waiting for your reaction like a man expecting to be judged.

You didn’t say anything at first. Just walked over, sat beside him, and rested your head on his shoulder.

“…Best early birthday present I’ve ever gotten,” you admitted with a smile and Joel let out a breath. One of those slow, hard ones like he’d been holding it in for years.

“…Glad you think so.” He then hesitated before wrapping an arm around you.

That night, he kept the guitar by the bed.

And the next night, when you asked him to play again, he didn’t hesitate.

He brought the guitar everywhere after that.

Strapped carefully to his pack, wrapped tight in layers of old flannel and duct tape, like it was some fragile relic that belonged in a museum. Sometimes you teased him for it—asked if he’d like you to carry it for a bit, if only to give the thing a break from bumping against his spine.

But he always said the same thing.

“Nah. I got it.”

You figured, in his own way, it made him feel like something still mattered. Like the world hadn’t completely taken the music out of him yet. It made you happy to see him care about something other than survival…

…

A few days later

You saw the clicker a second too late.

It lunged from behind a dead tree, all screeches and teeth, knocking you flat onto your back. Your rifle skidded out of reach. You kicked, scrambled, fists flailing, but its weight pressed down on your chest, teeth reaching for your throat—

And then there was a horrible sound.

A crack.

A shattering.

Joel swung it hard. Once. Twice. The wood cracked with each blow, strings snapping, splinters flying. By the time the clicker was dead, the instrument barely resembled what it once was—just a shattered shell, hanging together by memories. You gasped and rolled to your side just in time to see Joel standing over the twitching body, chest heaving. In his hands—what was left of the precious guitar.

Joel turned towards you, blood splattered across his arms, breath ragged. “You okay?”

But you didn’t answer.

You stared at the broken wood on the ground. Your breath hitched. The guitar was split down the middle, strings hanging like ripped veins. The neck was cracked clean through. The body—shattered. Joel dropped the pieces he was still holding without a word. He reached down to help you up, but you didn’t move. Couldn’t.

Instead, you crawled over to the guitar’s wreckage, hands already reaching. Already trying to fix what couldn’t be fixed.

“No no no…” you whispered, voice crumbling as you felt tears gather up in your eyes. “I can fix this. I can fix this. I swear I can…”

You gathered the pieces with shaking fingers, clutching them to your chest like they were a person. As if by holding it tightly enough, it might pull itself back together. Joel stood beside you, unsure whether to touch you or not.

“Hey…Y/N. S’okay.” Joel said, kneeling beside you. His voice was tight, low. He reached out, hesitated, then rested a hand on your shoulder. “You were about to die. I had to do somethin’.”

You shook your head. No. It wasn’t okay…I was far from okay. You were shaking—hands desperately gathering the scattered pieces, like putting them back together might fix everything. The world. The pain. The way he looked at you…

He tried to talk again. But you couldn’t hear him. Or maybe you could, but it didn’t matter.

All you could see were the broken strings. The jagged wood. The thing he had given you—his songs, his history, his grief—scattered across the ground like it meant nothing.

“I just—I just need glue,” you choked out. “Or tape—or—or—”

You couldn’t breathe.

Joel reached out then, slow and steady, placing both hands on your shoulders as he tried to make you look at him.

“Hey. Hey—stop. It’s okay.”

But it wasn’t. You turned to him with tears streaking down your dirt-smudged face.

“I just wanted to keep it safe,” you sobbed, rocking slightly. “It was the only good thing left.”

Joel was quiet for a long time. The wind rustled through the trees, the only witness to your breaking heart. Finally, he crouched down beside you, knees creaking slightly due to old age and overexertion. He spoke again.

“Darlin’…The guitar wasn’t the good thing. You were the good thing,” he told you wholeheartedly. “You still are.”

You didn’t answer. Couldn’t. You just held the broken guitar in your arms and cried. Joel’s expression cracked, just a little. And maybe that hurt worse than the rest. He gathered the remaining broken pieces in silence, gently brushing the dirt off each one like they were bones. He didn’t try to fix them. Didn’t offer empty words. It was gone. No need to cry over broken pieces…

…

After the clicker attack, something in you shifted.

You didn’t pull away violently, didn’t scream or rage—you just…stepped back. Quietly. A little more each day. When Joel spoke, you answered with a nod. When he asked how you were, you said “fine” in a tone that ended the conversation. You still traveled together, you still slept back-to-back near the fire and you still trusted him with your life. But there was now a space between. A silence that wasn’t natural. It was hollow. Cold.

Joel felt it growing.

He tried. God, he tried. Mumbled apologies. Half-jokes. Offers to teach you a new song, even though he hadn’t found a guitar to play with since then.

Nothing stuck.

And finally—on the edge of a crumbling bridge as the sun went down, after miles of walking in heavy silence—he snapped.

“This is gettin’ real fuckin’ old,” he voiced suddenly. “You gonna keep punishin’ me forever, or you wanna actually talk about it?”

You stopped walking but didn’t face him as you answered him: “I’m not punishing you.”

He scoffed mockingly: “Could’ve fooled me.”

The silence stretched like barbed wire between you.

“You haven’t looked at me right in days,” he said, stepping closer. “Hell, you won’t even sit next to me anymore. And if it’s about the guitar—”

“It’s not just about the guitar,” you finally snapped back, turning around to face him.

Joel’s jaw tightened. “Then what is it?”

You stared at him. His face was worn, tired, etched with the weight of a hundred sacrifices. He looked older in that moment—older than he should have been. He looked strong—stronger than what should have been expected of him. And whenever you looked at him, you had to force yourself not to break into sobs. Because this was a grieving father, a desperate brother, a man who had given up on all his dreams—on all hope.

“I didn’t want to lose that guitar either,” he insisted. “It mattered to me. A lot. But you were about to die. I didn’t even think. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

Then, softer, throat tight: “I’d lose that guitar. I’d lose everything. I don’t care about any of it, not really. I care about you. I’d sacrifice all of it if it meant keepin’ you alive.”

He waited for the silence to swallow his words, like maybe they’d scare you off for good.

But you didn’t run. You didn’t scream.

You just looked at him, eyes full of tender affliction, and admitted—

“I know.”

Joel blinked. He was about to ask, but you cut him off.

“And that scares me,” you went on, voice breaking but steady. “You scare me, Joel. Not because you are dangerous to others. Not because you are a man who has killed and will kill again…”

Your eyes watered. “But because you would sacrifice everything for me. Because you care about me. But most importantly, because you stopped caring about yourself. And I…” You swallowed hard, chest rising. “I do not want to lose you, Joel.”

The words hung between you like a confession, like a wound. His jaw slackened. The world seemed to hush around you both—the forest, the chirping crickets, even the distant howl of a scavenger.

Only your words remained…

Joel didn’t speak for a long time.

You felt tears burning behind your eyes as you pleaded next: “Joel…Say something. Please. Tell me I am wrong. Tell me you would never do anything to put yourself in danger on purpose. Tell me you haven’t given up. Tell me I am just being stupid again and you wouldn’t…you would never…”

Your voice broke at the end. You hated the pleading in it. Hated that you meant every word. Hated that you could see the truth of your own words in his very eyes…

Joel just stood there, silent. The wind pushed gently through the trees around you, and still—he said nothing.

Because he couldn’t lie to you.

And that silence—that silence was your answer. Your throat tightened as tears finally slipped down your cheeks. “No…Come on, Joel. Tell me it isn’t true. Tell me I’m wrong. Call me stupid for even thinking that. Please.”

He looked at you like he wanted to. Like the words were caught just behind his teeth. But nothing came. Not reassurance. Not denial. Only a haunted, hollow quiet—the kind that meant he’d already made peace with dying long before he’d ever met you.

And suddenly, it didn’t feel like the world was ending—it felt like you were.

You turned away, pressing a hand over your mouth as the sob tore through you.

Joel stepped forward, slowly, cautiously, like he was approaching a wounded animal. “You know I can’t. I would…I will put myself in danger if it means keepin’ ya alive.”

You flinched.

Joel noticed—but didn’t stop.

“I ain’t sorry for that. You mean more to me than anythin’ I got left from back then. Maybe that’s selfish. Maybe it’s wrong. But it’s the truth.”

You turned away, wiping your face with your sleeve.

“I didn’t ask you for that,” you whispered. “I just wanted…I just want you to be safe, Joel. I want to trust you. I want to be able to trust you and for you to tell me that you will fight—fight for your life. Fight. Fight as hard as you can. Fight for a future—your future…maybe…maybe fuck—I don’t know—maybe even ours? Maybe…maybe fight for OUR future. If…If you want an OUR to exist?”

You didn’t dare breathe after that.

Joel just stood there. His face was unreadable at first, hard to look at, like even he didn’t know what might come out of his mouth if he tried to speak. You both stood in silence for a while. Not moving. No more talking. The air between you was full of things too heavy to say out loud. He finally turned his head, jaw clenched, and when he finally spoke, it was low. Cold. Distant.

“I don’t need you worryin’ about me,” he said.

The words struck like a blow, but you stayed still, waiting—hoping—for something more. For him to take it back.

He didn’t.

“I don’t need you,” he repeated, quieter, but firmer this time. “Or your concern. I’ve been fine without it. I’ve been fine without—”

He stopped, swallowing hard, as if the rest caught in his throat. But the damage was already done.

You didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Didn’t even blink.

Your chest felt hollow, like something had cracked open and all the warmth had leaked out. The only thing you could hear was your own pulse, loud and pounding, and the faint rustle of leaves overhead. And it hurt. God, it hurt worse than any clicker’s bite or near-death moment. Because this wasn’t a monster you could shoot. This was Joel. 

Your lips parted, breath trembling.

“Oh,” you said softly. You nodded once. Slowly. Like you were trying to memorize the way it felt to believe in someone right before they ripped it out from under you.

Joel looked at you then—but it was too late.

You stepped back, just once. Like distance could protect you from the words that were still ringing in your ears.

You nodded, blinking back the tears that were already falling.

“Right,” you whispered. “Of course you don’t.”

The wind stirred the trees again. The world kept moving.

You didn’t.

Joel opened his mouth—maybe to take it back, maybe to soften the blow—but you didn’t wait. You turned and walked away, slowly, carefully, like the weight in your chest might shatter you if you moved too fast.

Behind you, Joel stood motionless.

He watched your back as you disappeared between the trees, his fists clenched so tight his knuckles cracked. His mouth opened again—closed. He forced himself still, jaw locked, chest rising and falling like he was trying to keep something down. He hadn’t meant it. Not really. But once the words were out, he didn’t know how to pull them back.

Because the truth was, he did need you.

So much it scared the hell out of him.

And maybe that’s why he said what he said—because needing someone meant being able to lose them. And Joel had lost too much already.

Joel followed after you a few minutes later…

He didn’t say anything—not a word. His boots crunched softly against the dirt and leaves behind you, the sound of him just close enough to be felt, just far enough to be ignored.

You didn’t look back.

The silence stretched the whole way, brittle and aching. Every step forward felt heavier than the last, like you were dragging the weight of his words behind you.

You then came across a motel by chance—a sagging old thing on the edge of a highway, sign half collapsed, windows long shattered. The kind of place that once smelled like cheap coffee and cigarette smoke, now reeking of mildew and dust. Usually, when you stumbled across shelter, Joel would do the sweeping while you checked supplies. You’d argue over who got the cleanest blanket, then inevitably settle into the same room, same bed, backs turned but knees still brushing in the dark.

But not this time. This time, you took two.

Joel noticed. His hand stilled mid-motion as he watched you tuck one key into your pocket and hold the other in your palm.

You didn’t offer him his.

You just glanced at the cracked numbers on the fob—Room 3—and turned towards the hallway without a word.

He followed again, slower this time.

At Room 3, you hesitated. The handle was rusted, the door swollen in its frame, but it gave with a shove. Inside, the bed was sunken, the wallpaper peeling, and a family of raccoons had clearly made it home at some point. You didn’t care. You just needed space.

Joel lingered a few feet away.

You looked at him once, barely. You then threw the key on the floor and slammed the door behind you.

He picked up his key and walked away.

You sat on the edge of the ruined bed, listening. For footsteps. For the click of his door. For anything…You wanted him to try. You wanted him to apologise, or at least make the first step.

He didn’t. The motel stayed silent. And so did he. And you hated that it hurt so much.

…

It rained that night.

Heavy, relentless. The kind of rain that drowned out everything else—the wind, the rustle of the trees, the thoughts you didn’t want to think. Joel lay stiff on the bare mattress of Room 5, one arm beneath his head, the other stretched over the empty side where you should’ve been.

He couldn’t sleep.

He kept waiting for the sound of your breathing. For the tiny rustle of you turning over in your sleep. For the quiet little sigh you always made when you finally gave in to rest.

But there was nothing.

Just the hum of rain tapping at the broken window and the steady, painful beat of his own heart.

He’d told you he didn’t need you. The words echoed now like a curse, louder than the thunder outside. He hadn’t meant them. Not even for a second. But they’d come out fast—cutting and defensive—like most of the things he said when he was scared. And he was scared. Scared of how deeply he cared. Scared of how easily he would give everything up for you. Scared that one day, he’d lose you and wouldn’t survive it.

He turned over, pressing a fist to his mouth, jaw tight. The room smelled like rot and wet carpet. The ceiling was cracked above him, rain leaking through in slow, deliberate drops. He could picture you—just on the other side of that wall. Curled up in the dark. Crying maybe. Or just staring at the ceiling like he was, too heart-heavy to rest.

He thought about getting up. About going next door. Knocking, maybe. Or just…sitting outside your door until morning.

But he didn’t.

He lay there instead, cold and wide awake, the ghost of your warmth haunting the empty space beside him. And when the thunder rolled over the motel like a warning, he finally turned his face into the pillow and whispered your name into the dark—quiet, desperate, and meant for no one but himself.

You were the one to break first at the end.

The rain had soaked you to the bone—water dripping down your hair, soaking through your jacket, pooling in your boots—but you didn’t care. You didn’t knock. You didn’t pause at the threshold. The rain plastered your hair to your face, dripped from your sleeves in cold rivulets, and you didn’t care.  You stepped into the hallway, barefoot, shivering, and walked the short distance to Room 4. The door creaked as you pushed it open—it wasn’t locked.

He hadn’t locked it.

He was lying on his side, back to the door, tense like he’d been fighting sleep all night. You stood in the doorway, soaked and dripping, rain still clinging to your skin like regret. You hesitated a moment, watching the rise and fall of his broad shoulders, the way his hand flexed in the thin mattress. Then you slipped inside.

The wood floorboards creaked under your wet boots. Joel stiffened, breathing hitching, but he didn’t turn.

You didn’t say anything either. You closed the door softly behind you and dropped your pack. Water pooled around your feet. Only then did you crawl onto the bed, letting the mattress sag beneath your weight. You wrung out your soaked jacket beside you, shivering, and curled up against his back, chest against the warmth of his spine.

Joel startled slightly—just a shift in his shoulders, a breath caught in his chest.

But you didn’t look at him. You curled up close. Close enough for him to feel the cold damp of your clothes.

You hoped he’d get a cold from you.

You hoped he’d cough and sniffle and ache.

You hoped it’d serve him right.

Because you were hurting. Because he’d hurt you.

He didn’t speak. Didn’t scold you for being out in the rain. Didn’t tell you to dry off. He just stayed still. After a long moment, you felt the blanket shift. His hand—warm and calloused—pulled it up over your shoulders, careful and wordless.

Still, neither of you spoke.

You tucked your knees against his calf and felt him shift. His arm, hesitant at first, slid around you, drawing you closer until your hearts pressed together. You could hear the rain pounding on the roof, feel the tremor in his breath as he exhaled in relief. You closed your eyes and sniffled…Was it so hard for him to just promise to stay alive? Even if it was a lie? Your eyes burned and your fingers dug into his back.

“…Selfish prick.”

Joel’s arm tightened around you. His breath was warm against your hair, steadying your shaking frame. The storm outside thundered on, but inside that tiny, crumbling room, you felt safe. He shifted, slow and careful, until his fingers found the back of your neck, thumb brushing over damp strands of hair. His voice was low, rough—almost a whisper, barely more than the rain tapping on the glass.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I don’t want to lose ya either.”

You stayed still, heart pounding, the sting behind your eyes deepening. You lifted your head just enough to meet his eyes—dark, tired, honest.

“Promise me something,” you said, voice breaking.

He swallowed, nodding.

“Promise me you’ll stay alive. Not just for me. For yourself.” You insisted.

Joel’s grip tightened before he sighed in defeat.

“I promise,” he murmured. “I’ll try. For our future…isn’t that what you said? If ya…still want me in that future of yours that is…”

For a long moment, neither of you moved. Just the sound of rain outside and the quiet thump of your heartbeats tangled together in the stillness. Then Joel shifted again, turning just enough so his forehead rested lightly against yours. His eyes searched yours, for an answer. When he found it, he smiled.

“I ain’t good at promises,” he admitted. “But I’ll fight. For ya. For us. For whatever we can still build.”

You smiled back. And in that crumbling, forgotten motel room, with the storm raging outside, you found a quiet kind of peace. Joel’s hand cupped your cheek, thumb brushing away a tear you didn’t know had fallen.

“We got this,” he murmured, trying to reassure the both of you.

You nodded, pressing closer. “Yeah. We do.”

He looked down at your lips, his breath hitching just a little. You could see the hesitation in his eyes—the rough edges of a man who’s been through too much, unsure if he deserves this, unsure if he’s allowed. Slowly, he wet his lips with the tip of his tongue, his gaze flickering up to meet yours again, silently asking for permission.

Your heart hammered, and you gave the smallest, almost imperceptible nod—just enough to let him know you wanted this too.

Joel leaned in carefully, like he was afraid if he moved too fast, you might pull away. But you didn’t. Your breaths mingled in the quiet room, the rain tapping a steady rhythm outside as his lips finally met yours—tentative at first, then slowly deepening. He breathed deeply and closed his eyes.

You smiled against his mouth, just barely, your breath brushing warm over his skin as you whispered: “If you won’t protect yourself…then I will.”

Joel stilled and his eyes searched yours. His voice was hoarse when he answered: “Guess I ain’t got a chance to argue, huh?”

You shook your head, still smiling, still close. “Not even a little.”

And this time, when he kissed you, it wasn’t hesitant. It was desperate and grateful. And for the first time in a long time, Joel didn’t feel like he was just surviving another night—

He felt like maybe, just maybe…

He was choosing to live his life. He was choosing to live it with you.

[dreaming-of-mossballs]

Something About Rain - (Gepard x florist!reader)

Summary: You, a resident of the underworld, have recently moved to the Administrative District and encounter rain for the first time. Will Gepard come to rescue you?

- Genre(s): hurt/comfort, fluff

- Word Count: 1.7k

- Tags: Gepard x reader

- Warnings: mentions of death, bad weather, food mentions

A/N: This is part of a series, but can be read as a one-shot. Check the masterlist for more! If it’s broken, pls use the tag search function. Tag is #Mossball_Writing

I hate thunder. Could you tell?

Mossball Masterlist - (more gepard here)

More often than not, you found yourself humming Serval’s songs whenever you had a free moment.

In your defense, they were really catchy (although whenever you attended one of her concerts, you rarely left with your hearing intact.)

Your plants were sitting plaintively on the windowsill, waiting to be watered. The flowerpots, housing a rhododendron, a spider plant, and a peace lily, were doing quite well after being relocated from your old studio. The new apartment had plenty of natural light for them to bask in, and they were looking quite happy as of late— but the sky was looking awfully dark today. The weather was unusually warm recently. Maybe that had something to do with it?

Was it nighttime already? You thought. No, the clock only read 4:30. Were the batteries dead? Also no.

The air felt heavy and stifling, as if a giant bear was crushing you under its weight. Though you figured, since the sky itself was doing you no harm, you had no reason to worry about it.

You emptied the contents of your tin watering can into the soil that the spider plant resided in when suddenly, your apartment was filled with a light pattering noise. You looked up from your task to see strange, round droplets of water appearing on your window.

“What in the—,” you started. Where was all of this water coming from?

The sound coming from outside muffled, oddly enough, and unlike any sound you had ever heard before. It was akin to the sound of a hundred oversized termites wearing woolen boots trampling all over your house.

You indignantly stuck your head outside your door. What right did the sky have to be doing this? You demanded to know as you shook your fist angrily at the clouds, when out of the blue, a blazing flash of light lit up your vision.

You stood in your doorway, dumbfounded, as fat droplets of water rolled off the awning and splattered on the crown of your head and ran down your cheeks.

It was cold. Unpleasantly so, you grumbled as you wiped your cheeks with the back of your hand.

And that’s when a sound like the earth was cracking open ripped through the air.

“EEYAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!,” you screamed as you nearly jumped two whole feet into the air. You slammed the door without a second thought, rattling the pots on the windowsill. “What on Jarilo-VI was that??” You shouted, your heart racing

You pressed your back up against the door as you tried in vain to catch your breath.

What was happening? Were you going to die? It would be really ironic if you met your end on the surface after a lifetime of surviving mining accidents, you mused, when another ground-shaking boom shook the floor beneath you.

At that moment, all reason left you as you scrambled to your feet, jettisoning towards the nearest coffee table to duck under it. You gathered all your flowerpots in your arms too— hardly noticing as the wet soil spilled over the rims and onto your tunic.

You crouched under the table with your hands over your head, your breaths escaping you in quick, painful bouts. But the sound of the water droplets didn’t let up, growing louder and louder until they drowned out your thoughts.

In a brief flash of intellect, you drew your phone out of your pocket with trembling hands and dialed the one man you knew who could always save the day—

And that’s when everything went dark. The lightbulbs in your lamps went dark and even the mechanical sounds of your refrigerator went silent.

This was it. The end of the world had finally come, you concluded as you crouched under the table, the room frigidly silent.

You wondered if your neighbors were okay. You wondered if Gepard was okay. You hoped that if he found you dead, the florists would hold a nice funeral for you and turn you into fertilizer.

“We’re sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed,” the automated voice from your phone said. It was the only thing you could hear in your apartment— the rest of the building was dead silent.

You were a hair’s breadth away from snapping the device over your knee.

The thunder didn’t stop. You rose on wobbly knees to search for the nearest flashlight in your drawers, but it was nowhere to be seen. Were you really going to meet your end here, in the dark and surrounded by nothing but your plants? The mere thought made your heart twist painfully.

You couldn’t find your flashlight. All you could do was yank the nearest blanket off of your couch and drape it over yourself, curling inwards as your heart hammered in your chest.

Breathe, you commanded yourself. Stay calm. It’s what Gepard would have wanted you to do.

You had no idea how long you were waiting there. All of the clocks had been frozen and you wanted to conserve what little phone battery you had left. So you stayed there, curled up with a blanket that was beginning to feel oppressively hot inside from the heated air you exhaled. You could only listen for the sounds of someone coming to rescue you.

You strained your ears— wait, was that the sound of boots?

Yes, it definitely was. And it was growing louder, too. Part of you didn’t want to get your hopes up— perhaps it was someone else seeking shelter from the weather. But that gait… it seemed incredibly familiar…

Your questions were soon to be answered as your door was flung open with so much force, the door handle made an indentation in the drywall.

“(Y/N), are you here?” A male voice echoed throughout the room.

You flung the blanket off of you only to be met with blinding lights from the street. Squinting hard, you could vaguely make out the outline of Gepard, the captain of the Silvermane guards, standing in your doorway.

You could have fainted right then and there.

It was certainly an odd sight— you’d gathered up the majority of the flowerpots on the ground floor and huddled them under the table. There was a watering can lying sideways on the hardwood floor, and you were hiding under the table with a cotton blanket thrown over your head. He approached you tentatively, not paying attention to the fact his boots were leaving muddy scuff marks all over the floor.

“We heard reports of an outage,” Gepard began. “Is everything all right?”

He lowered himself to his knees, resting one hand on the table as he looked down at you.

You scuffled towards him at a breakneck pace, ignoring the burning sensation from your knees scraping against the floor.

“I thought I was going to die,” you nearly sobbed as you buried your blanket-wrapped self in his arms. At that moment, you didn’t care in the slightest that someone could be watching. You wriggled up to him, determined to press your entire body up against him all at once as you hiccuped and sniffled.

Gepard couldn’t help but think you looked a lot like a caterpillar as you smushed yourself into his chest, but you could see that his face was entirely pink as he turned to face the other men.

“Go ahead and restore the power— I’ll be with you in a moment,” he said, clenching his fists at a loss for what to do.

The other guards nodded and headed out, wheeling the generator and other equipment away as the rain lashed at them in sheets, and Gepard returned his gaze to you.

You frowned at him indignantly like an unhappy bagworm as he held you in his arms, comfortably but securely. He occasionally rubbed your head as you let loose a whirlwind of complaints.

“Do you have any idea how worried I was??” You blurted. “What was that?? Why did sky do that? Is it going to happen again?” You grumbled.

The young noble gazed down at you with a perplexed expression.

“Rain… it was raining,” he answered. “It happens when it gets warm on the surface sometimes. It’s a type of weather,”

Weird, you thought.

“What about the noises??” You demanded. “And the lights?”

“The flashes of light were lightning, and the noise that followed after was thunder,” Gepard replied. “Those are types of phenomena tend to occur during storms,”

The power was beginning to come on again— the lightbulbs in your house buzzed for a short moment and then flickered to life, illuminating the room once more.

“I am so mad right now. The sky has no right to be doing that,” you muttered. The tears had dried from your face, and you were beginning to feel more embarrassed than angry now.

But Gepard didn’t say anything. He simply picked you up, laid you on the couch, and made his way to the kitchen.

“Where do you keep your mugs?” He asked.

“Top left cabinet by the sink,” you responded, wiggling your feet to settle into the cushions.

He took a cup off of the shelf and placed it right side up, filling it with milk. Next, he added a sprinkling of cinnamon and honey, and stirred it quickly with a tea spoon. Then, he popped it into the microwave, or fancy hot box, as you called it, and pulled it out once the timer rang.

Gepard quickly wrapped the mug in a tea towel and handed it to you. Your fingertips lightly grazed his gauntlet as you exchanged glances, feeling your cheeks warm with affection. The rain had finally begun to let up.

You thanked him as you lifted the cup to your lips and took a sip. It was sweet and comforting with warmth that spread throughout your entire body.

You thanked him quietly as he tidied up your foyer and got ready to leave as quickly as he came.

“I apologize for tracking mud in your house, but I’ll be back to clean it up after we restore power back to your block,” he said. “Take care,”

“Thanks for checking on me,” you murmured. You hurriedly got up off of the couch and twined one of your hands with his, pressing it to your right cheek. “Don’t worry about the mud— I’ll take care of it. Just stay safe out there, okay?”

Gepard nodded and went on his way. You watched longingly as his figure shrank into the distance. The horizon was gray and bleak.

“Blasted sky water,” you said.

2025 - Dreaming-of-Mossballs - Do not repost/translate without my permission - NO AI

💙 THANKS FOR READINF I LOVE YOU 💙

[iron-sides]

yayy yippee friends 🎉

i did know zam wanted to talk to subz really bad but id forgotten it was the return stream where she said it ty for the reminder... ive Also seen that post ur talking about its so good..... oh my eclipse federation ☹️

godddd. "maybe subz didnt want to give her that chance. maybe he knew she could convince him" yeah :( i do wonder if that partly determined his timing of it.... i presume there was a degree also of like-- people didnt know when zam would be back (i assume idk i got into ls while she was gone) and it doesnt make sense to delay a project just to include her when u dk how long itll be but like...... yeah. yeah. i dont even have anything to say lmao i hadnt thought of that and now youve said it and i :(( and yeah vitalasy like un-added her 😭 not for very long i think but she like Kept mentioning it onstream she mentioned it like three or four times in the first or second stream after she betrayed eclipse 😭 it was SERIOUS man lol

i mean idk i only saw a couple months of season six i admit but to me its like. devotions learning how to be friends even when theyre not teammates, learning (or not) to deal with each other having friends, poafa and zams whole thing was about a friendship that didnt work out, hannahs season was defined by friends & teammates lost and found (sorry i have to lmao), and then the whole finale was, to me at least, a) spoke wanting to give his friend zam the ending she wanted, and b) zam and mapicc becoming friends again. zam and vitalasy also finally talked about eclipse this season i dont have the clip but its definitely real lmao. idk. i think hope is also a good word for it but i think a lot of the conflicts (at least the ones i feel knowledgeable about) were about friends and missing them and misunderstanding them. but idk! thats just me lol (plus-- bfb, focus & team PE are all teams built on friendships predating the season that Lasted all season (ignore bfb banning themselves i mean they didnt break up), plus the tunnel rats is just very friendly in vibe yk?)

although it was definitely a season about hope, just as much. hoping for a better end, hoping that kindness could prevail. hope and friendship go together i think :)

okay so i went and found the post and i was right it was oneformercy! id feel bad just screenshotting the tags since theyre not mine but yeah no..... bacon wardens arc (explodes and dies)

definitely please do make a post bc i had barely even thought about how differently they were treated regarding threat level.... subz Was a potential server ender whereas bacon, well. he was also a potential server ender but no one was exactly worried about it. and its especially interesting because he used arguably a better mechanism to deploy the wardens! if the end is gone then subz Cant use it anymore thats it, but they cant get rid of the nether. yeah he died testing a few times when subz didnt, but subz had over twice the hearts and they were using different systems-- and they were never actually able to stop bacon! there Was no destroying his mechanism, not like they did with subz. i do think this is part of why his arc was a bit more successful tbh but also their different goals play into that a lot too. god dont even get me STARTED on the hannah exclusion 😔 team atlas we are ENEMIES (silly) (but also i do get genuinely heated if i think about it for too long 😭 ur guy man.... did he have a reason for hating her or is he just a hater bc id heard it was related to her like making fun of zaun but like. the way he treated her during & around the warden arc seems a bit. much. as a reaction to that. but idk maybe hes an overreactor hed hardly be the first 😭) but yeah no it all stings but ESPECIALLY because hannah and mapicc had planned to ban him off the server and bring him back like..... and then team atlas got there first.... 😔 oh welllll whatever its a good story beat for poafa ig like it sucks but they werent there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ they knew it was bacontask day like it just is what it is ig. oh well!

god yeah. you said it. looking at the past and deciding to move on. and subz... didnt. subz looked at the past and said, no. im not over it and im not going to pretend to be. :(

do you ever think about subz's warden project that he did allegedly in order to be console banned from lifesteal as if he couldn't just leave the server as if there werent a million easier ways since he apparently needed to be console banned in order to keep himself away.... subz who banned himself at the end of season four whos missed huge portions of every season since and keeps coming back anyway..... subz who allegedly hates lifesteal & thinks all the story there was to tell has already been told but did the warden project anyway, begging in everything but words for the server to prove him wrong and it didnt..... who hung out in zams chat during streams when she was killing wardens in order to encourage her to cause chaos (and send her gold farm coords)..... the warden project was only abandoned bc he was sure he was being streamsniped and that was what made him finally leave.... because he couldnt tell the story he wanted to tell anymore. haha. cos i dont!!!!!!! i have never thought about subz even once in my life ^_^

sorry i saw u were thinking about my dead wife i miss him can he come back like ik he says hes not gonna but if i say it enough maybe he will haha what if!!!!!! <- in denial

I bet he will come back, I mean he did in season five.... (hashtag manifesting 4 you)

Subz....what a curious guy. Its so intresting because yeah what lifesteal needed at that time period was conflict. And he delivered it perfectly ! He was the perfect enemy for Derap and the chungpire to rally against, he put on a villainous outfit and started calling the wardens his friends. And he did it in the name of ending the server. What a guy.

The fact he left anyways fucks me up alot also cause...the server failed him, didnt prove him wrong. But like... nothing could have convinced him to stay. Im sure of it. Because what he wanted wasnt possible this season. He just wanted season three/four back. But the servers moved on, everyone has. But him.

And for awhile there it did feel like Subz was going to get what he wanted. The wardens were just really easy to afk and Subz had ALOT before Derap stopped him. Subzs world ending felt like it would have been eventuality, the server ending in anger and inactivity. Cause Subz fel everything had run its course and if that was true no one would have cared enough to get online and stop him...Very fun to imagine Subz as wanting to end the world in hate versus how it actually ended (In love and hope).

[nebulainatree]

Ok in honor of this post getting pretty widely viewed I'm posting my (self proclaimed) funny tumblr text meme edit here

[10-dutchies-12-bicycles]

PANTHEON MENTIONED!!!!!!!!!!!

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all, weird question time again, this time for people without POTS or other tachycardia-causing health issues. I know my heart rate is higher than it should be a lot of the time, but I can't find comparison data for not-tachycardia peoples' heart rates at any point except resting and like target rate when exercising, so my questions are these: 1. What's your heart rate when you stand up? 2. Does your heart rate go up noticeably when you are sick? There's presumably a whole spectrum of non-tachycardia heart rates at points between resting and high intensity exercise, but I have not been able to find any comparison points in between those extremes at all

[chiropteracupola]

sometimes you start to wonder what the historical record for the guys you made up looks like in the fictional world where they existed. and then you make some fake documents about it.

[moth and compass is a collaboration with @natdrinkstea!!!]

[whateverthought]

You know, everyone kept saying "Trans Barbie! There's a Trans Barbie!" and I was confused because I watched the movie. I started worrying that maybe I missed something, maybe there was some hint or easter egg that implied trans-ness and I, a Cisgendered person, missed it because it wasn't for me.

But apparently it wasn't! It was that a trans actress was IN the movie. Something you couldn't have known if you didn't know the actress beforehand (I didn't).

So all this, 'They have a TRANS Agenda! Evil Woke Feminists!' is just a trans person existing.

(I thought it was gonna be something like, "This Barbie used to be a Ken!")

[sysig]

How long does it take to bind books like that?

It's very quick! Niennanir gives a brief rundown of about how long you should wait between construction and completion, but the overall process is very speedy! Quote:

"The whole process, not counting drying time, took less than an hour."

Which is more or less true - depending on how long you spend setting up your pages in your word processor (it took me a few tries to get the margins set to where I wanted them, but once they're set, you're good for any future projects!), you really are going to be spending most of your time waiting for the glue to dry so you can go to the next step lol

Everything else is quite interactive, but in a gentle way which I really like :D I find proofreading and folding the pages calming, and scoring and folding the covers feels very cool >:3c

The only real advice I have to give is that yes, while you should wait for your pages to dry a little before putting on the second glue layer (and also if you wanna be fancy I'd suggest capping the ends as well! Not just the spine itself), you don't want to wait so long that it's gone hard - bubbles can form in between the pages which would normally be pressed by your weights, but if they're left to dry out in the open, your spine will be bubbly and wiggly! This can be hidden by the cover's spine, but it's still better for the overall construction for it to be flat and clean :)

[sleepy-little-stars]

andy speaks: a very self-indulgent fic 😞 as a humanities girlie, I just rlly want my silly nerdy stem bf ☹️ hot nerdy stem bf pls pls pls come my way 🙏 zayne will have his version of this too!! bcuz muehehe why have one stem bf when u can have two. TWO?! 😻 n poseidon raf is in the drafts 🙂‍↕️

stem bf!caleb who’s such a nerd trapped in a hot guy’s body, it drives you insane. he could be standing in front of you looking all hot with that pilot uniform of his but the moment he opens his mouth? you just wanna jump him there and then. 

“how much do you love me?” caleb hums in response to your question. he has his arms around you, swaying the both of you ever so slightly from side to side. 

“honestly? like about 9.8 meters per second squared. in other words, gravity is pulling me towards you.” he grins before leaning in to kiss your cheek. 

“could’ve just said you love me to the moon and back.”

“flowery words are your thing, sweets. not mine.”

stem!bf caleb who invites you for a date night at his dorm.

you show up with snacks and a list of movies you want to watch with him, such as barbie because you are going to sit him down and explain how barbie is one of the best movies of the century and the message it conveys to women and little girls around the world— wait.. why is he surrounded with legos?

“what’s with the legos?” 

“it’s not just legos, pip. it’s the 7,500 pieces millenium falcon. come on, help me with it.” he pulled you down beside him on the carpet, your legs deposited on top of his lap and an arm enclosing you to his chest.

“so, you invited me here to make me do labor.” you grumbled seemingly annoyed yet the hand reaching out for the building manual says otherwise. caleb merely chuckles at your faux demise, pecking your temple. “don’t worry. we can watch barbie as we build. and.. we’ll do a powerpoint night tomorrow. deal?”

“deal.” and so you spent the entire night wrestling with tiny building blocks to help complete his beloved spaceship. 

stem bf!caleb who keeps every paper plane you give him. when unfolded, the paper is filled with your words of love dedicated to him. 

stem!bf caleb who is your very own human calculator. you always bring him with you during grocery runs so you can easily keep track of the total as you shop. 

“caleb, add this.”

“bread is $2.49.. your current total is now $11.27.”

“thanks, babe. now, let’s go get chips.”

stem!bf caleb who watches all your favorite films or shows in his free times. he remembers all the times you mentioned them in passing. 

“since when did you watch girl, interrupted?” 

“last night. you were talking about it the other day and i didn’t really know how to respond so i watched it. now, tell me all about lisa again. her character was really something— ah!” he got cut off by you throwing your arms around him and peppering his face with kisses.

stem bf! caleb who yaps about science theories during cuddle time. your head is on his chest, his arms tight around you.

“time slows down when the gravity increases. that’s what you call gravitational time dilation. like, imagine you’re on top of a very high mountain. time would pass faster for you than for someone at sea level because the gravity is weaker the farther you are from the center— babe?” caleb looks down, lips quirked upon seeing you dozed off. he pinches your nose, earning a sleepy whine from you. “stop.” 

“you promised to listen to me talk. are you breaking promises now, pip?” caleb leans closer to bite at your cheek, grinning widely when you push his face away. “i’ll let you yap later. nap comes first.”

“is that a promise?” 

“yes.”

“okay. i love you.”

“.. love you too.” 

“good night.”

“hm.”

“you know, einstein’s theory of relativity—” 

“sleep, caleb.” 

[alygator77]

──little things like this

a/n. just something small i felt like writing 🫶🏻 what i imagine grocery shopping with satoru would be like.

cw. domestic fluff. dad! satoru. husband! satoru. and just... satoru being satoru. also, he's missing you (like, a lot).

You should’ve known better than to bring him.

It was supposed to be a quick trip—milk, eggs, veggies, rice, soy sauce. Easy. You had dinner planned and everything. His favorite—the one he always says you make better than anyone. The one he begged you to cook the first night he stayed over, back when you were still figuring each other out in that too-small apartment with the broken stove and mismatched bowls. He used to sit barefoot on the counter, freshly showered, stealing bites before you could plate anything.

But now?

Now you’re married to Satoru Gojo, and he’s pushing your daughter through a grocery store like it’s the highlight of his week—sunglasses shoved into his windblown white hair, sleeves rolled to his elbows, a smug grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

He’d just come off a string of missions, barely enough time to breathe between them, but when you mentioned needing to grab a few things, he immediately offered to come. Said he missed you. Said he wanted to do “normal stuff.”

Which might’ve sounded sweet, sure—until somewhere between produce and frozen foods, he completely veered off-script. And now, fifteen minutes in, your cart is a sugar bomb. Sour gummies. Five flavors of Pocky. A jumbo bag of marshmallows no one in your household has ever requested.

Though here he is, your husband, pushing your cart with one hand, lighting up in pure joy at every little treat you come across through the aisles.

“Satoru Gojo…” you deadpan as he reaches for a pack of cookies. “That is not on the list.”

Clicking his tongue, he holds them up like a sacred offering.

“Buuut… neither were you,” he hums, batting those ridiculously pretty blue eyes. “And yet—best thing I ever brought home.”

Narrowing your eyes, he smirks.

“’toru…” you sigh. “I really don’t think we need more sugar in this cart.”

Tilting his head, he pretends to ponder. “Need? …nah,” he tosses them in the basket anyway. “But, deserve? Absolutely.”

Rolling your eyes, you turn back to the list on your phone. You have… what—three items checked off? You’re pretty sure Satoru has added at least seven more. And, he seems to be multiplying his haul by the minute.

As you make your way down the next aisle, your daughter’s delighted squeal draws your attention. Glancing over your shoulder, there is Satoru—holding up two bags of candy to her like a game show host.

“Mmkay princess… choose wisely,” he whispers, low and dramatic. “Red or blue. You get one.”

Babbling, her little hands reach forward, grasping for the blue one.

“Ahhh… strong choice,” he nods, handing it over. And then, with zero shame, he drops the red bag into the cart behind her back.

“Ahem…” you squint, and he straightens. “You said one?”

“What? She picked hers,” he says, all innocence, sliding his sunglasses down onto the bridge of his nose. “This one’s mine.”

You groan, laughing despite yourself, as he resumes pushing the cart—now like it’s a racecar, swerving down the aisle while your daughter giggles.

“Please don’t teach her to shop like you,” you call out.

“Too late~” he sing-songs, vanishing around the corner, muttering under his breath, “Drifting into dairy… snack thrusters engaged…”

You sigh—but there’s no real frustration in it. Just warmth. Familiarity. Love.

Because sometimes you forget—you’re not in that cramped apartment anymore, counting coins and comparing brands. Not since Satoru. You still catch yourself reaching for the cheapest option, still instinctively scan barcodes and double-check price tags. But he never even looks. He just fills the cart like it’s second nature. Like full shelves and soft snacks and mochi picked on a whim are things you deserve.

You’re still learning how to live like this—where love doesn’t feel like a debt, and money isn’t something to fear. And even though he could buy out the entire store without blinking, he still treats picking out snacks with you like it’s the most important thing he’ll do all week.

Shaking your head, you turn back to the list. Soy sauce. You still need soy sauce for his dinner.

But as you round the corner, you don’t find the aisle you’re looking for—you find him instead, crouched in front of the freezer, elbows resting on his knees, two tubs of ice cream in hand.

Why is he studying them like he’s trying to defuse a bomb? He looks… entirely perplexed.

“Satoru…” you step up beside him, brow raised. “You good?”

“Oh. Yeah.” He doesn’t look up. “Just, uh… evaluating options.”

Glancing down at the tubs—matcha and black sesame—you fold your arms.

“Umm… you evaluating them for fun, or is this, like, an actual crisis?”

“Mmm… crisis is a strong word,” he mutters, still avoiding your gaze. “It’s just… strategy. Y’know. Ice cream strategy.”

Crouching down beside him, you rest your hand on his knee.

“Uh-huh…?”

There’s a pause.

Then, he sighs through his nose. “Alright… fine. I… couldn’t remember which one you liked more,” he admits. “I thought it was matcha. But then I remembered that one week you wouldn’t touch it, so now I’m stuck here like a dumbass, spiraling in the frozen aisle…”

You try not to laugh. “You’re spiraling over ice cream?”

“I’m spiraling because it’s you,” he huffs. “I wanted to surprise you… thought maybe we could stay up late and eat it in bed like we used to?”

Your teasing slips away, replaced with something soft.

“Oh… Satoru.”

He shrugs, like it’s no big deal, but there’s something in the way his voice lowers when he speaks again.

“I just… dunno. It feels like it’s been forever. Between missions, work, parenting—you’ve been running around nonstop. I just wanted tonight to feel kinda normal again. After dinner—after the princes goes to bed. Just… us? Even if it’s just ice cream.”

You watch him for a beat—your husband, who can bend reality, stand at the edge of the world, and still get hung up over picking the right tub of ice cream for you.

“I… like them both,” you mumble, bumping his shoulder gently against yours. “So why not both?”

He exhales like it physically relieves him. “Oh, thank god.”

You both stand, and without hesitation, he tosses both tubs into the basket.

“But… don’t go picking at mine and then pretending you didn’t like that flavor, okay?”

Grinning, you step ahead of him.

“Oh, I will steal yours. That’s marriage, babe.”

With a quiet laugh, he falls into step behind you.

“Brat.”

By the time you reach checkout, your cart holds three kinds of mochi ice cream, a suspiciously large bag of seaweed snacks, and absolutely no bread. Your daughter’s holding her bag of candy like it’s a stuffed animal, fussing while you try to scan it, and you’re juggling a reusable bag, along with what’s left of your patience while she begins to cry.

Noticing your frustration, Satoru slips in, insisting on scanning everything himself—for you. But when the self-checkout machine beeps loudly, his brows furrow and he pouts.

“The fuck? I did scan the damn carrots…” he mutters, narrowing his eyes, fumbling with the touch screen. “Don’t gaslight me... stupid thing..."

You sigh, somehow his presence makes the monotony feel… warm. And though this ‘quick trip’ has become what feels like an all-day event, you can’t deny how much you have also missed this man.

Outside, the air is soft with the promise of evening. Your daughter’s nodding off in her car seat, still hugging the candy bag like a teddy bear. Satoru loads the bags into the trunk with a proud little huff, dusting off his hands like he’s accomplished something huge.

“See?” he says, flashing a grin as he climbs into the passenger seat. “Told you grocery shopping as a family would be fun.”

You glance at the receipt. Then at him.

“You spent more in the snack aisle than on actual food….”

“I live off sugar and love. You know this.”

You roll your eyes, laughing under your breath as you slide into the driver’s seat. But as you buckle your seatbelt and glance down at the grocery list again, your heart sinks a little.

Did you…? Fuck.

You forgot the soy sauce.

Exhaling slowly, your gaze drifts over to Satoru in the passenger seat—slouched comfortably, eyes closed, perfectly content. The fading sun glows across his face, catching the edges of his smile.

“Y’know… I was gonna make your favorite tonight.”

His eyes open slowly. “Oh yeah?”

You nod. “But… we forgot the soy sauce.”

"...oh." He grimaces, genuinely. “Shit… I really thought I grabbed it,” he scratches the back of his head. “Want me to run back in real quick?”

You pause, then look at your daughter sleeping in the rearview mirror. Her gentle snore. The quiet hum of the car. The warmth in the air.

“No…” you murmur. “It’s fine.”

“You sure?”

You look at him again, and it hits you—not the ice cream, not the dinner. Little things like… this. Him. Her. This whole imperfect evening.

“Yeah… let’s get takeout,” you say, shifting the car into reverse. “We'll cuddle in bed. Split some ice cream.”

He smiles again, slow and warm.

“Deal.”

[jakedustry]

𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐔𝐓 - 𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐌

IN WHICH Jake Sim loves hockey, he loves it so much he is willing to spend his every free minute on the ice skating, but he also finds himself falling in love with you—the only girl his coach doesn't want him to date. But with the way you look at him, can he stay far enough to keep his position as the captain?

pairing– hockey captain!Jake x fem!reader

featuring– Enhypen members, Dani and Manon of katseye, Taehyun and Huening of txt, Keeho and Intak of piwon

genre– Fluff, Smut, slightly angst

warnings/contains– SMUT, simp!jake, kinda love at first sight, protective father, good relationships with parents, food mentions, Jake is very much a dream boyfriend, jake has a license, lots of teasing and flirting, secrete relationship, reader is told to be slightly shorter than Jake, nicknames/pet names used, parents get in the way of their relationship, masturbation (m & f), sexting, nudes exchange, oral (m & f), unprotected and protected sex, not proofread

word count– 25.5k

playlist »» ❝ It took five seconds to fall in love and two more to make you mine ❞ — Elijah Woods

↪ izzy adds... I've spend a good amount of time just looking at this picture of Jake instead of writing but honestly...can you blame me? It's the way he looks at me, I just can't adalhdlad Anyways, i'm glad to finally show you my baby because I've been meaning to write a hockey romance for sooo long. And what better present could I give myself than finally publishing it AND with Jake as the star character haha

m.list

Ice. Water. They were the same thing, right? And if water was a necessity, ice was as well, wasn’t it? Because truly, it was. 

There is no difference. Ice is simply frozen water, something we need to survive. 

And you needed ice to survive. The feeling of freedom when you moved around, the way your skates clung to your feet perfectly, and especially the memories the ice held. You couldn’t just give up on them, no matter how much you tried to. 

It wasn’t because you wouldn’t want to, in fact, you’d do anything to be able to step on the ice rink again, but it wasn’t within your capabilities to argue about the matter. It was overnight, without any previous warnings or discussions, and as you were picking up your things to leave for the ice rink before school, your dad stopped you, and your whole world had crumbled down. I don’t want you on my ice anymore. His words ring in your ears to this day, making you feel worse each time.

When you were younger, it was part of your daily routine to spend the afternoon there, hanging around with the players until late nights. One of the perks of being the NHL player’s daughter, you suppose. But then, in the blink of an eye, the father-daughter moments you loved so much, suddenly stopped. 

At first, he tried to excuse it by telling you you needed to focus on your studies, but the more time passed, the more obvious it became that he simply didn’t want you around. Whenever you asked him if you could join him when he had training, he brushed you off without any good reason. It didn’t matter who was on the ice, if he had a lesson with the kids or people your age—you just couldn’t go. 

It’s been four months since you last got to skate, and it felt like a part of you was missing. 

“Why don’t you just go when he isn’t around then?” Your roommate, Daniela, asks, her eyes softening when she notices your tired expression as you stare at your phone, looking through old pictures. “I don’t want to go behind his back,” you mumble without glancing up at her. 

“But you want to skate,” your other roommate, Manon, reminds you. You nod, putting down your phone and sighing as you notice the worried looks on their faces. “Well, then, how about we all go together? I might be able to get us in after closing hours,” you offer.

“I’m sorry, angel, I need to finish this project by midnight, so I can’t,” Manon excuses herself, and Dani follows soon after, saying she has two exams in the morning. “But you should still go,” she encourages you. “Go and have fun. We know how much it means to you,” Manon agrees with her, and you know you can’t back away now. You’ll definitely go tonight. 

As soon as your feet stepped on the ice rink, it felt as if everything was back to how it was supposed to be. The cold air hit your face and all your worries, all the stress you were feeling in the past few days, have washed off. You moved quickly, the blades of your skates cutting through the ice with ease. 

In that moment, you knew there was nothing else you needed. As long as you had the ability to skate, nothing else mattered. 

So, just like that, it became a routine. Every day, shortly after ten, you’ve gone to the ice rink, borrowing the keys from the manager and staying there for an hour at least. Daniela went with you from time to time, keeping you company as much as she could but at the end, you realized it was more convenient to just go alone, without having to worry about the time you’d leave or come back. 

You didn’t mind. You were skating again and that was enough. 

“Hello, Mr. Park,” you greet him with a smile, just like you had many times before. “You’re earlier than usual,” he comments, putting on his jacket and taking out a bunch of keys from his pocket. You smile, grabbing the keys from him. “I needed to get out,” you shrug. 

“You kids seem to do that a lot,” he shakes his head slightly. “School is a lot on you, huh?” You don’t answer, knowing just one look is enough as a response. When was it not a lot? “I see,” he nods, understanding. “In that case, I hope it helps you clear your head. Both of you.” 

“Both of us?” You frown as you tug the keys into your pocket. “Dani isn’t with me today, I’m alone.” 

You catch a change in his expression, a small yet visible flicker in his eyes, and it almost feels like he is planning something, as if there was something meaningful behind his actions. “Mr. Park,” you narrow your eyes at him, trying to see through him. He chuckles, sending you a warm smile before patting your shoulder and walking away. 

You watch him confusedly until his figure disappears and you turn around again. That was…weird, to say the least. Still, you decide not to pay it much attention and do what you always do—go on the ice. 

You smile, letting the feeling sink in before you furrow your eyebrows, the loud movement of the puck ringing in your ears. You look around, your eyes following the hockey player on the other side. You stare at the number 4 on his back, frowning when you realize you don’t recognize him. You always knew the names of every player on the team, their practice schedules, positions, and even the rankings your dad had for them. But now…you had no idea who this one was. 

A part of you hated your dad for it. 

You hated him for taking it from you. For taking the excitement you felt when you watched hockey players or figure skaters. Now, you felt like there was nothing connecting you to those sports. 

You take a seat on the closest bench, switching your shoes to your skates. You’re tying the laces when a loud pank interrupts you, the sound of the puck hitting the plexiglass making you flinch. You raise your head, watching as the boy stops in front of you when he sees you. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes, pulling his helmet off with his empty hand, his hair sweaty. “That wasn’t meant to attack you or anything.” 

“I’m fine,” you brush it off, standing up with a casual shrug. “It’s not me you should be worried about, though. But rather your aim,” you point out. “And that stop didn’t look exactly stable, either.” You see him scoff, and slowly make your way toward the nearest entrance to the ice, your skates cutting through the surface with ease. 

“And who are you to judge? What exactly makes you think you know better than me?” he challenges you, his voice dripping with amusement as he leans on his hockey stick. 

You chuckle, turning slightly to look over your shoulder. You smirk. “Should I show you?” you tease, not bothered to wait for his answer as you swiftly push, gliding towards him, picking up your speed. 

His dark eyes widen in surprise and he drops his stick, his helmet following right after, expecting you to bump into him. However, you’re ready for that. With a swift movement, you take a sharp turn around him, coming to a perfect stop just behind him. “How’s that?” you ask, your voice filled with playful confidence. 

“Pretty good,” he breaths out, laughing in awe as he turns around to face you. “What’s your name, figure skater?” He asks, the mockery at the words ‘figure skater’ painfully obvious. “I’m not a figure skater,” you clarify, your movements precise as you pick up his dropped hockey stick. “I can handle the puck just as well,” you grin, imitating his moves from before and quickly scoring into the net. You strike a mockingly exaggerated bow, your name slipping past your lips, almost like a laugh in his face. 

What an introduction. 

“I’m Jake,” he says before picking up his helmet from the ground. You smile, skating backward away from him with his hockey stick still in your hands. He follows right away, and it’d be impossible not to notice the grin on his face. 

You take a few rounds around the rink, joking around with him as you skate backwards so you can see him. He has a cocky grin on his face, and for the first time, you don’t mind. You always hated seeing that look on men’s faces, when they thought they were above you, above everyone. But for some reason, his smirk didn’t look the same. 

At that moment, you think it might have hit both of you. The spark, the flame burning deep down in your stomach as you laugh together over nothing. 

You slow down so he can catch up to you. “Are you on the hockey team?” You ask even though you already know the answer. Of course, he is. The jersey made you figure out as much. “Yeah,” he nods. “The captain himself,” Jake laughs, speeding up to get in front of you and get the roles switched. “But I guess the coach made a mistake if there is so much I still need to develop.” 

“I mean, you’re decent,” you smile. “Oh, thank you. I appreciate that, figure skater,” he teases you again, but this time, you don’t hear any annoying mockery in his voice. “And anyway, the coach doesn’t make mistakes. He must have had something in mind when he made you the captain, number four.” 

“You seem to know a thing or two about him, huh?” You shrug. For a moment, your focus fades away as you think about your dad. You could have known the team sooner. You could have hung out with them just like with any of the other guys your dad trained. Sure, back then, you were a kid, so it was mostly just them looking after you, but you loved it nonetheless. You would give anything to feel that again. 

Jake uses the lack of your attention, grabbing the bottom part of his hockey stick and pulling you with him. You snap out of your thoughts, holding on tighter so you wouldn’t fall, letting him drag you around the ice rink. 

You stumble forward when he pulls with his full strength and you let go of the stick to be ready for the fall but before you hit the ground, his arms catch you, spinning you around as if it was a part of a performance. You end up laughing again. Honestly, you lost count of the amount of times he had made you laugh. 

“Thank you,” you mumble when he stops again, sending him a grateful smile. “For everything.” Jake shakes his head, “I didn’t do anything.” — “You did everything,” you correct him. “I needed this. So, thank you for reminding me why I love skating again.” 

Jake’s bag swings over his shoulder as he walks out of the ice rink with you, your bag in his other hand, despite all your protests. He insisted on carrying it for you, saying something along the lines of wanting to be gentleman-like. So you let him. 

“What exactly are you actually, figure skater? If you don’t play ice hockey or figure skate either, then what do you do?” He wonders as you lock the door behind you. “Nothing and everything,” you proclaim. “I grew up on this ice. I watched every game the Tigers played for the past thirteen years,” you shrug as if it was completely normal. It was normal, though. For you, at least. 

“So, are you some sort of Mowgli of the ice?” Jake laughs, causing you to do the same. “I guess you could say that. Even though it were still people who raised me, sometimes I feel like the ice rink had a big part in it too.” He nods, humming in response.

Jake ends up walking you to your dorm that night. You never mention who your dad is, nor what your last name is, because you don’t think it’s important. You talk about everything else with him—from your major, through your childhood hobbies, to your friends. You tell him all about it, and he tells you all about everything that he can think of at the moment as well. 

“Then, I’ll see you around, figure skater?” He wonders as he hands you back your bag, running his fingers through his hair. “Maybe,” you smile. “I hope you learn to stop more smoothly until we meet again, number four.” He chuckles, nodding. “I’ll do my best,” he promises, awkwardly snapping his fingers as he points at you and swallows what he wants to say next. You raise your eyebrows, questioning what it is, but he shakes his head, not saying anything else. He sends you one last smile before turning around on his heel. “Good night, figure skater.” 

“Night,” you mumble softly, smiling when you open your dorm door. 

“You’re acting weird,” Manon comments, eyeing you from across the room. You look up from your notes in your lap, raising an eyebrow at her in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“Your book is upside down,” Dani points out and your eyes immediately fall down again. You quickly turn the book around, embarrassed. “For the last few days, you’ve been completely out of it. Why?” 

“I just can’t focus,” you sigh, resting your head against the headboard of your bed tiredly. “Tests?” Manon asks, but you’re not sure, honestly. Ever since that night, since you’ve met Jake, you couldn’t get him out of your head. You couldn’t stop thinking about how the hockey team was doing this season, who was on the team, and if your dad was still just as strict with them as before. 

You just wanted to be a part of the life again. 

“Boys?” Daniela chimes in. You give her a look—almost a warning one, but it only creates a smirk on her face. “Bingo.” 

“What boys? What do I not know about?” Manon’s eyes widen, searching for answers in your eyes. “Nothing,” you shoot back. “There’s no one. I’m thinking about the Tigers.” 

“Those, Angel, are men as well,” she reminds you with a teasing grin. “Some fine ones, may I add.” You roll your eyes at her, but you don’t argue. You might have only met one of them so far but if his teammates looked anything like him, it was only another reason to meet the team. 

You needed to convince your dad soon, no matter what. 

“So, what about the Tigers?” Dani asks, the study notes on her desk long forgotten as she turns all her attention to you. “I’ve heard they are doing pretty well this season. Apparently some good first years joined this year.” You hum in response, thinking about it for a second. 

“I met their captain a few days ago, he was training when I got to the ice rink so we skated together,” you admit, watching their eyes widen in excitement. “It was nothing like that,” you roll your eyes at them even though a part of you knows it was like that. You can’t forget about the way he made you feel that day. “It just got me to miss them even more. You know, watching their trainings and stuff.” 

Their eyes soften and you shake your head when you notice the pity in their expressions. “Good thing Uni is keeping me busy anyway,” you joke, but the sadness in your voice is painfully obvious. Still, they don’t press you any more, understanding when it’s the time to just stay quiet.

It’d be silly to say Jake found his love at first sight. 

Still, he can’t seem to get you out of his head, and it’s getting to the point it disturbs his everyday life. 

“How about you stop thinking about getting your dick wet and focus, captain?” Jake’s roommate asks, dropping his notes in front of him. The black-haired boy snaps out of his thoughts, picking up the small notebook. “What’s this?” He frowns, opening the first page. “Ideas for our next game’s tactics. Discuss it with the coach if you like any of it.”

“And really, start paying attention. If you fail your exam just because of some stupid girl and we lose our captain, I’m going to beat you up.” Jake laughs, nodding. “I’ll pass, Jay. I’ve been studying,” he assures him, but the snort that leaves Sunghoon’s lips on the other side of the room makes Jay worry again. “What?” He raises his hands in the air in defence when he sees Jake glare at him. “I didn’t say anything.” 

“You didn’t need to,” Jake rolls his eyes. 

“Look, guys, you don’t get it. You should have seen her! She was so cocky! She thought she could skate better than me!” He exclaims, a smile appearing on his lips as he thinks about the girl he met two weeks ago. “Honestly, she might have been better,” he chuckles. “I just know I was supposed to meet her there.” 

“And here he goes again with the fate thing,” Sunghoon scoffs, turning around on his chair to focus on his new skating choreography instead. “If you two are fated as you say, why haven’t you met again, huh?” Jay shakes his head at him, sighing. “Just look over the game plans. I’m going to the library,” he waves his two roommates a quick bye, grabbing his bag from the floor and leaving the dorm. 

The room falls silent for a moment before Jake speaks up again. “What if I went to see her?” 

“Oh God,” Sunghoon groans. There was nothing good that could come out of this. No matter how he looks at it, Jake’s sudden obsession could only go left. Still, it didn’t stop him. Before Sunghoon could say anything else, try to explain why it wasn’t the best idea, Jake was already up on his toes, packing up his laptop and some books for his afternoon lesson. 

“It’ll be fine,” he proclaims when he sees his roommate’s face, chuckling at his worries. “I’ll just say a quick hi to her, maybe get her number, and then I’ll go. I have math anyway, remember?” Sunghoon sighs, shaking his head. He lets him go, though, deciding to leave it up to him to deal with whatever he is planning to start. 

Jake hesitates as he stands in front of the same door he last saw you at, debating what he wants to say. Just as he reaches his hand up to knock on the door, the wooden furniture flies open and he almost bumps into a blond that tries to leave the dorm. He quickly blinks a few times, asking her if she’s okay. 

“Yeah, no worries,” she brushes it off, her eyes wandering all over his face curiously. “I feel like I’ve seen you before.” 

“Ah,” he offers his hand for a handshake with a smile. “Jake Sim. I, uhm, am the captain of the hockey team.” She chuckles as she shakes his hand, connecting the dots. “Daniella Avanzini.” 

Jake awkwardly rubs the back of his neck as he looks at her, realizing that he really had no plan at all when he came here. She, however, just smiles at him, and as if she knew what was going on through his head, she informs him you’re not home at the moment. He nods, quickly apologizing as he turns on his heel to leave. 

“Wait,” she stops him, her grin somehow mischievous. “She mentioned you before, just so you know. If you want, she plans to go skate at ten tonight again. I need to study so I can’t go with her, maybe you could keep her company.” 

Without realizing what he is doing, Jake’s lips turn into a smile and he nods, saying his goodbye quickly and running to his lesson. 

It’s six when Jake arrives at the ice rink, cursing himself out for being late. Coach was going to kill him sooner or later. He does his best to change as fast as possible but when he steps on the ice, it’s already 6:12. 

“Sim, you’re late!” Coach yells at him from across the rink, only sparing him a mare look before turning his attention back to the boys in front of him, watching them closely. “Practice speed drills,” he proclaims, quickly entrusting for Jay to lead it as he walks towards the team captain. 

“I’m sorry, sir,” Jake apologizes without hesitation. “I got caught up in school work but I’ll make sure I’m on time from now on.” Coach scoffs, shaking his head slightly and patting his shoulder. “I get it kid, don’t worry about it.” Jake confusedly glances Jay’s way but he is too busy with his own thing to notice. Something feels wrong. He shouldn’t be this understanding. 

“You–You do?” 

Coach chuckles, nodding. “I have a kid myself, I know how hard it can be for you youngsters.” 

Jake’s brows furrow but he nods anyway. He isn’t sure why he is so calm about it but if Coach is in a happy mood, he doesn’t need to piss him off. “Right, thank you,” he mumbles, offering a small smile before putting on his helmet and joining the others. 

“Dude, how are you this late and still alive and breathing?” One of the guys, Huening, asks as he comes to a stop right before the captain. Jake simply shrugs, glancing back at the coach again. “Not sure, but not complaining either,” he says, patting Kai’s shoulder slightly as he looks around to see how everyone’s doing. 

“Okay, I need to warm up. Jay, you got it for a bit?” He calls at the older man, receiving a simple nod in return. “Okay! No more lazing around, let’s go!” Coach yells at the same time as Jake starts moving again, tilting his head slightly. This seemed more like the coach he knew so well. 

The training goes on; from passing, through rebound drills to a full practice game where Jake almost curses out one of his closest friends, Heeseung, after they collide together and both bump into the plexiglass, causing Jake’s vision to blur for a few seconds. And when they finish, they all skate to one side where Coach is already waiting for them, a pen and notebook in his hands. 

Jake groans, tiredly plopping down onto the ice and taking down his helmet, brushing his sweaty hair back so they won’t get in front of his eyes. The rest of the team follows shortly after, until it’s only the coach standing. 

“Okay, first off, you all did well today, and I’m sure you know what you each need to work on so I’m going to make it short,” he says before handing his notes of the practice to the captain so he can go through them with his teammates later. “I won’t be able to be here on Friday so please, practice just as if I was and focus on the things I pointed out,” he continues, signaling to the notebook Jake is holding. “And after you’re done, you’ll find videos from some games in my office, take it as your homework and study them before our next game.” 

They all chant in unison, assuring him they will. “Alright, any questions or suggestions from anyone?” Jake looks around. “Well, actually,” Huening clears his throat nervously. “I’ve been thinking– I mean, we’ve been thinking,” he directs to a few guys around him. “A lot of teams gain their popularity online and you know, we only have our instagram account that no one really visits anyway. Maybe…we could get a media girl or something?” 

“A media girl?” Coach questions. 

“Someone who would film videos for us, take pictures and take care of our media for us,” Taehyun explains simply. 

“More people would know about us that way which also means more people to cheer for us at games,” Heeseung joins in. “More pretty girls thirsting over us,” he adds with a laugh, high-fiving with Keeho beside him. 

The coach tilts his head, watching the boys in front of him as he thinks about it, eventually nodding. “Sure, if you can find someone who’s willing to, then why not,” he approves and the guys cheer quietly. 

Jake’s eyes widen as it hits him, immediately raising his head to join the conversation. “I think I know of someone.” Jay catches the small spark in his eyes and shakes his head, knowing damn well what he was thinking about. He wasn’t even surprised. 

“So, who are you thinking about?” Keeho asks as he takes off his gear in the locker room. Jake’s lips turn up into a smile just at the thought of you, and that’s enough for all the guys to corner him, questioning him about this someone on his mind. “What? Are you too scared one of them is going to flirt with her before you can?” Jay teases, shaking his head as he walks into the showers, a towel wrapped around his waist. 

“Oh? So your girl?” Heeseung wraps his hand around Jake’s shoulder but he escapes right after, grabbing his towel quickly to run to the shower instead. “Not my girl. Yet, at least,” he finally speaks up, disappearing before anyone can say anything else. 

Jake might not be the most responsible person on Earth or the most punctual, but when he knows a girl he can’t stop thinking about will be somewhere at ten, you can be sure he will be on time. 

Your eyes widen when you notice him sitting at one of the benches, a phone in his hands and his skates ready on his feet. Unlike the other day, this time he isn’t wearing his gear. He has a simple dark grey hoodie on with black pants, and you can’t help but smile. 

“You got lost, number four?” You ask as you slowly approach him. He looks up from his phone, grinning as he puts it aside. “My name is Jake, figure skater,” he reminds you while still keeping up. He watches you as you sit down next to him, putting on your skates. “And I am not a figure skater, Jake,” you say, unable to contract your smile as you glance at him again. 

“Guess I’ll have to think of a new nickname for you then.” 

“I guess you will,” you nod, standing up when you finish lacing your skates. “I’m not sure what you’re doing here but…first to be on the other side wins?” you suggest playfully, already stepping on the ice before he can even register your words. As soon as he does, he quickly tries to catch up to you, putting all his skills to use just to be faster than you. 

And he manages, even though it’s not the way he’d want. 

Just as he catches up to you, you step badly and the next thing he knows, you’re on the ice and he is turning around to get to you again as fast as he can. “Are you okay?” He asks, the worry in his voice painfully obvious. You take his hand when he offers, standing back up awkwardly. “I’m good.” 

He sighs in relief, shaking his head at you slightly. He ruffles your hair and you yell immediately, making him laugh. “Alright, bambi, I think I won. What’s my reward?” He teases, the nickname making you frown. “Bambi?” He only smirks, slowly skating away from you, not taking his eyes off you in the process. “Fine, what do you want?” You ask, your skates cutting through the ice once again as you follow him. 

“We need a media girl,” he admits without a second thought. “I said I would find one. And I want you.” His words send shivers down your spine. You bite your bottom lip, watching him nervously while thinking about it. But really, if Jake tells you he wants you, can you refuse? 

“The coach agreed to this?” You ask before giving him an answer. As much as you’d love to hold onto this excuse to be on the rink, you still don’t want to just go behind your dad’s back like this. “Yeah, he said I can handle it. He has a big thrust in me, you know,” he says proudly, making you chuckle. “I’m sure he does.” 

“We have practice on Friday. Come by, I’ll introduce you to the team and you can decide then. I’ll understand if they piss you so much you won’t want to work with them,” he jokes. 

“And what if you’ll be the one annoying me so much that I decide not to?” You grin and he rolls his eyes. You manage to do a full lap by then, still following him around the ice rink. 

“Also, I want two rewards,” he proclaims all of a sudden before stopping. You mimic his movement with a raised eyebrow. “And why exactly should you get two?” 

“Because I’m amazing?” Despite his lame act, a chuckle escapes your lips and he knows he’s already winning. “Egoist maybe, yeah,” you smirk, scanning his face with your eyes. “Okay, what is it? I warn you though, if it’s stupid, I’ll kick you to the balls.” 

“Not my kids!” He fake-gasps dramatically, putting his hands in front of his crotch to prove his point. You laugh again, shaking your head. He smiles when he sees you, and the moment you notice it, you feel like something shifts between you. You swallow a lump in your throat, prompting him to finally tell you what he wants. You know you will definitely think about that smile of his later, though. 

“Okay, jokes aside, I want your number,” he admits, your eyes widening. “Why?” He chuckles. “What do you mean ‘why’? I want to be able to talk to you. I mean, what if I decide to stay late for training and need a goalie?” 

“So that’s what I’m good for, huh?” 

“That and maybe…just in case I feel a bit lonely here all alone,” he whispers, skating away again before you can say anything. You take a deep breath, sorting out your thoughts before you follow him, taking a turn towards the exit while he takes another lap around. 

You grab his phone from the bench, showing it to him. “Come here and unlock it if you want it!” You don’t have to say more. Jake doesn’t show any signs of hesitation before rushing to you, barely stepping off the ice as he takes the phone away from you. You chuckle at how determined he is, writing down your number when he hands you the phone again. 

“Why exactly am I a bambi now?” You frown as you watch him add a contact name. “Smile,” he says instead of answering, positioning the phone right in front of his eyes to get a picture of you from his perspective. He isn’t much taller than you but you still look up, forming an awkward smile. You’re not sure why, but there is a smile on his lips when he lowers his phone again. A smile so adorable you want to savor it. 

“Bambi is a cute animal,” he proclaims suddenly, making you blink a few times. “And even though you scared the shit out of me for a moment when you fell down, you were kind of like a bambi.” 

“I’m not sure what that means or if I like it.” 

“I’m telling you you’re cute,” he clarifies and a blush creeps up your cheeks. “See?” He shows you the picture of you he just took and your cheeks just redden. You do look pretty cute in that. “Thanks,” you mumble, avoiding eye contact with him and trying to get past him on the ice again. He laughs quietly at that but still steps aside to let you go, putting his phone back down. As he turns around to join you again he stops for a second, simply admiring you as you spin around, doing a few tricks as you have the space now. 

A part of him wishes to watch you like this forever. 

“Did you know I’d be here?” You ask as you walk side by side with him outside, your hands in your hoodie pocket to keep them warm. “I did,” he admits. “I met Daniela earlier today when I stopped by your dorm and she told me you’d be here at ten.” Dani, I need to thank you for the rest of my life, you think, chuckling softly. “I see.” 

“She seems nice.” 

“She is,” you agree. “And so is Manon.” Jake smiles, fixing the strap of your bag as it falls off his shoulder. “Wait, shit, that means they’ll ask me about you,” you groan at the realization. Maybe you weren’t going to thank Dani for so long after all. Yes, you did enjoy your time with him but that didn’t mean you were ready for their questions when you got back. Honestly, a part of you wanted to keep it just between the two of you. A secret only you two knew about. 

“Oh, yeah? What are you going to tell them?” He teases, leaning slightly down to reach your ear. You roll your eyes at how cheeky he sounds, pushing him off again. “That you’re childish.” 

He chuckles. “And? What else?” 

“That you still can’t skate.” He fake-gasps. You bite your bottom lip, rethinking your words as you remember the moments you spent with him on the ice. “And, maybe, that I enjoyed tonight,” you mumble, so quietly he almost doesn’t hear you. 

“So you do like me!” He grins, clenching his fist in excitement as if he had just won a match against the strongest team in the league. You scoff, shaking your head at him. “You’re an idiot.” 

“Idiot you might consider going out with?” Jake asks, turning his head to face you, the hope in his eyes obvious. Your breath catches in your throat, the question loud and clear. Your eyes widen and you quickly glance at him to see if he’s being serious or just joking around. When you gaze into his eyes, you get your answer. 

“Maybe,” you mumble, averting your gaze again. “If you try hard enough.” 

And he does. He tries as hard as he can. Not only does he walk you to your door again, almost being dragged in by Manon when she sees him, but when he gets to his own dorm, he’s already texting you. It’s a stupid question, one that makes you raise your eyebrow, but it gets the job done, and you end up texting him for the rest of the night. 

You don’t think you’d be able to hide the smile he creates on your face even if you wanted to. 

Especially when he keeps sending you random pictures. Of his face, his roommates, of the notes he is studying at the moment, anything and everything. He’s cute, you have to give him that. 

Your Thursday lessons pass by in the blink of an eye and Friday rolls in faster than you’d expect. Jake provided you with the team practice schedule the day before and you were never this happy to know most of your lessons were in the morning and didn’t collide with any of their practice hours. 

You weren’t sure how you’d face your dad just yet, but that was a fight for your future self. Right now, the first thing on your list was to get out of your room as fast as possible so you can still make it to class on time. 

“You know, just saying like, you don’t need any makeup. So maybe, if you just ditched that, you won’t have to rush so much now,” Jake comments, watching you as you sit at your table, finishing up your hair. You glare at him. “I’m not letting you here again,” you warn him and he immediately raises his hands in surrender. “I got you coffee, come on!” You avert your gaze again so he wouldn’t see your smile. Because he did, and god damn. Who would have thought a man showing up at your door in the morning with a cup of coffee could be so fucking attractive? 

Manon and Dani left shortly after he came but they didn’t forget to mimic kissing together before they walked out of the door. You had to roll your eyes at them because even though Jake’s lips looked attractive, you weren’t just going to make out with him in your room when you were already running behind so much. 

“Okay, let’s go,” you proclaim, quickly collecting your books into a bag as you glance at him. He’s smiling when his eyes lock with yours, and it makes you melt just a bit more. “What?” you question, feeling slightly embarrassed with his eyes on you. “You’re pretty,” he says, standing up from your bed and handing you your cup of coffee. You blink a few times but before you can say anything, he is already out of the door. 

“Jake, you’re impossible,” you mumble, feeling your cheeks heat up. 

You catch up to him quickly, sipping on your drink as you walk side by side with him, sneaking glances at him until he calls you out on it. “You can just say you like my face and I’ll let you look at it all day but don’t be this secretive about it. You’re not good at it anyway,” he chuckles and you close your eyes in regret. You weren’t sure if letting Jake into your life was such a good idea after all. 

What even were you doing, honestly? Skating together at night, texting all day and at night where you should be long asleep, and now this. Why exactly did he just turn up at your door unannounced with your favorite coffee order as if it was normal? As if he’s been doing it for ages. 

But no matter how weird or rushed it might seem, it felt somehow right. You didn’t mind the attention he was giving you, and you definitely didn’t want him to stop. If anything, a part of you was just waiting for him to take a step forward. 

“I’m not looking at you,” you argue, averting your eyes. 

“Right, and I’m absolutely terrible at hockey,” he scoffs, shaking his head. “It’s fine, you can steal glances all you want. But just because it’s you.” 

You feel your heart skipping a beat at his words. He had his way of gently flirting with you and it was making you crazy. You knew he was interested in you, you’d be blind not to notice that, but you still didn’t know what to do with his compliments and flirting, how to react to them. 

When you got to class, you thought that was your moment, a free minute to think about everything and figure it out, figure Jake out, but you’ve barely settled down in the class when your phone buzzed, announcing a message from no one else but the lost puppy himself. 

Jake: one attachment You: what exactly am I looking at?  Jake: flowers You: yes, I see that You: but why? You: also don’t you have a lesson?  Jake: oh, no, I’m free for another hour so I’m just walking around campus Jake: saw these and thought of you

You stared at the messages, a blush spreading across your face. He couldn’t get any better. Everything he did, every little comment or action, made you feel important, seen. And honestly, you weren’t sure how much longer you could keep talking to him without pulling him into a kiss and claiming him yours. 

Because right now, there was nothing you wanted to do more. 

At five, you arrived at the ice rink, the loud chatter of the boys from the locker room reaching you right after you stepped inside. You chuckle at it, the familiar feeling making you at ease. You sit down at one of the benches, pulling out your phone and scrolling through your messages—a few emails from the school, a message from your girls, wishing you good luck, and also a text from your mom. You quickly open the text, smiling softly as your eyes land on a picture of your mom in a red dress, asking you if she looks good. You immediately tell her that she’s beautiful and ask her what she’s getting ready for. 

Just as you do, the guys’ voices grow louder and you look up, watching them step on the ice one after another. You immediately find Jake with your eyes, your smile widening as he waves at you, skating to the plexiglass in front of you. “Come here, I’ll introduce you.” 

You step on the ice in your sneakers, awkwardly smiling at the few boys staring at you. “Coach is out today, said he’s got something with his wife. He might seem a bit scary at first but he is nice, the biggest Tiger of us all,” he explains with a smile, his hair falling in front of his eyes. So that’s what mom is getting ready for, you realize. 

“Oh, wait, you probably know him already, right? Would be weird if you haven’t after, what, thirteen years, huh?” He laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, quietly cursing at himself to just shut up. You chuckle, sending him a reassuring smile, your heart making a little flip at the way he remembers your words. 

“Okay, well, these are the tigers. Boys, our new media girl,” your name sounds fancy on his lips, little too good, honestly. You scan the faces in front of you, a few familiar ones you remember from the hallways or parties. “If you need any help, feel free to text me,” a taller guy skates towards you, reaching his hand out. You grab it hesitantly, your eyes narrowing at the smug smirk on his face. 

“Back it off, Hee,” Jake warns him, almost pushing him out of the way, which only gets the older man to laugh. “No need to worry. I’m not stealing your girl,” Heeseung chuckles, turning his head towards Jay with a knowing grin. They exchange a few words but you don’t catch them anymore, not when Jake starts talking to you, mumbling a quiet sorry. 

“It’s fine,” you shake your head. “But…” a smile spreads across your lips as you gaze into his eyes, tilting your head slightly. “Your girl? How come I don’t know about that?” The worry in his eyes disappears, a hint of mischief replacing it. “They can probably just see the look in your eyes,” he proclaims, leaning in closer to reach your ear. “You’re basically undressing me with your gaze, Bambi.” 

You scoff, but before you can say anything, Jake is already skating away, leading their training and you have no other choice but to go back to the bench and think about it, about him. Were you doing that? Surely not… right? 

You watch Jake lead the practice and something in your shifts. As if he wasn’t already attractive enough, seeing him like this, helping everyone out and yelling at them what to do, he felt somehow hotter. 

Maybe you were actually undressing him with your eyes when you thought about it. 

And as if that wasn’t already enough on its own, every chance he got, he found a way over to you, asking you what you thought about them, if you were enjoying yourself, and also occasionally just saying a stupid joke that just came to mind. You laughed each time. Because no matter how stupid the joke might be, you weren’t thinking straight at the moment. 

“So, what do you think? Am I good?” He leans against the plexiglass, a smug smile on his lips. You shake your head with a chuckle, stepping closer to him. For a moment, you completely forgot about the other guys on the other side of the rink, only focusing on the golden retriever in front of you. “You’re not too bad.” 

“In that case,” he starts, quickly glancing around to make sure none of his teammates are standing behind him, ready to tease him to death the moment they hear him say the words out loud. “Can I finally take you out? Who wouldn’t want to date the greatest player on the hockey team?” 

You roll your eyes at his confidence but don’t refuse. Instead, you think. “Alright, Manon and Dani will be gone for the weekend but I said I’d stay at the dorm. If you want, you can come over and we can watch something.” 

He narrows his eyes, shaking his head. “No.” 

“No?” 

“I want a proper date with you. Not fuck you on the couch with a movie in the background just because you have an empty place,” he states, gazing into your eyes. Even though, if he was honest, he could still fuck you on the couch after the date if you wanted. 

Your breath hitches just so slightly as you look at him, averting your eyes. God damn it, Jake. He was better and better each second, and if he was in for the long game, so were you. “Fine, then pick me up,” you mumble, refusing to look at him again. But Jake doesn’t mind because he heard what he wanted, and he couldn’t be happier at the moment. 

You groan and close your eyes as you hear Jake turn around and yell “She said yes!” at his teammates, regretting your choice of date for a second. But when he glances at you again with his little boyish grin, you completely forget about it, telling him to get back to practice with a smile on your face. 

When the practice wraps up, your phone is full of pictures you took of the boys as they practice (most of them of Jake because every time he saw you pulling out your phone, he got into the shot), and it makes you smile again. Just being here with them makes you happy. Watching them bicker and tease each other, it was exactly what you were missing before. 

A few of the guys pat your shoulder as they leave, something about wishing you good luck but honestly, Jake is the only one you can focus on again. “Undressing me again, aren’t we?” He teases and you roll your eyes. “You’re on thin ice, boy. Might have to reconsider our date,” you warn him and he immediately raises his hands in surrender. 

“Okay, my mouth is shut,” he says, getting off the ice as well. He takes off his helmet, his lips turning up in a smile again as he watches you. “Wait for me? I’ll be quick.” You nod without a second thought, agreeing. 

It’s the third time he walks you back to your dorm from the ice rink. It might seem like a simple gesture, and really it is, but you still feel the warmth in your chest. You find yourself opening up to him more than night, sharing a few of your dreams and places you want to visit with him and he doesn’t miss out on the opportunity to offer you to go there with you. You brush him off but honestly, when you think about it, it doesn’t sound bad at all. 

“Darling, we haven’t seen you in so long. I miss you.” You smile gently as you listen to your mother’s voice, sipping on your morning coffee. At eleven. “I know, I’m sorry. But I have a break in a month, I’ll definitely come home then, I promise,” you say, a part of you feeling sorry that you haven’t been around for so long. Your mom sighs, putting her hand over the phone microphone as she shares the information with your dad. You catch a glimpse of his voice in the background but it’s not loud enough so you could make out words out of it. 

“And why not this weekend, Angel? I’ll make your favorite food.” You hesitate for a second, debating on if you should tell her or not. But in the end, honesty wins. After all, it’s your mother who you’re talking about. The same woman who held you in a tight hug after your first breakup, who told you stories about princes, saying she wishes you nothing less than a charming prince who would love you dearly. You knew she’d be happy to hear about it. Even if it means you won’t come home this weekend. 

“I’ve actually got a date later tonight,” you mumble and the soft gasp that leaves her lips makes you chuckle. “Oh my! Who is the lucky boy?” 

“He’s…” a smile spreads on your lips as you think back to the puppy-like-boy who’s been flirting with you since you first met him on the ice rink. “An engineering student. He…He’s nice to me, mom. And makes me smile a lot. I like him.” 

“That’s great,” she nods, approving quietly. “In that case, I hope you’ll have fun tonight. And, darling.” You narrow your eyes, catching the suspicious tone in her voice. She has something planned and whatever it is, it can’t be good. “If it works out, bring him with you next time. I’d like to see him.” And you were right. Even though you knew your mom would love Jake if she met him and that Jake would love your mom, thinking about bringing him to meet your parents when you haven’t even had one date yet wasn’t something you wanted to do. 

Still, you force a smile, almost as if she could see you through the phone. “Of course. I’ll see how it goes.” 

The conversation changes shortly after as she asks about Manon and Dani. You tell her about how they are doing in school, how you are holding up, and the conversation just flows naturally after that. 

At one point, she hands the phone to your dad and you repeat everything you just said, well, except for the fact you were going on a date. While your mom was always excited when you told her about boys you were interested in, you saw the way your dad’s jaw clenched just at a mention of a boy’s name. And while you loved being his little princess while you were little, you thought his overprotectiveness now was unnecessary. 

It’s around five when you hear the knock on the door. You get up from the chair you’ve been sitting in and open the door, your eyes falling on Jake immediately. He is wearing jeans and a simple white shirt with his denim jacket over it but god, he looks fine. 

“Why didn’t you call or text? I would have gotten ready first,” you mumble, stepping aside so he can walk inside. He just shakes his head, saying something about being able to be with you for longer like this. You sigh, closing the door behind him. “Alright then, how fancy do you want me?” He smiles, glancing back at you. “I want you comfortable,” he proclaims and this time it’s you shaking your head. Alright, fancy it is. 

Jake settles down on your bed, his eyes following you as you scan the clothes in your closet. Then, finally, your eyes land on a brown dress, one you know hugs your body well. You glance at him with a teasing smile before grabbing the piece and disappearing into the bathroom to get dressed. 

When you walk out again, Jake’s jaw is practically on the floor and he has to hold himself back as he leans against the wall, watching you from the comfort of your bed. “God,” he breathes out and you chuckle, whispering a quiet thank you as you sit down at the table beside him so you could do your makeup. “You’re beautiful, gorgeous.” 

A smile spreads across your lips without you being able to control it, looking at him through your mirror. “You already convinced me to go on a date with you, no need to try so much anymore.” He only shakes his head at your words, “I’m not trying for anything. I mean it. You look amazing, love.” The nickname sends a shiver down your spine but you don’t let it show, applying your makeup and trying to ignore the blush creeping up your cheeks. 

“Alright, let’s go,” you say, turning to face him. He smiles when you do, averting his eyes from you for the first time since you sat down as he gets up, offering you his hand immediately. You roll your eyes at how cheesy he is but hold his hand nonetheless, letting him lead you out of your dorm. 

“Where are we going?” You wonder, following him to his car. You walk slightly ahead of him, trying to open the car door but it’s locked. He chuckles, shaking his head as he reaches you, unlocking the car with a simple click of a button and then opening the door for you. “You think I’d let you open that on your own?” You blink a few times, sliding into the passenger seat without another word. You weren’t sure how you were going to survive the night if he had your heart racing so much already. 

The drive is calm, quiet, with jvke playing on the radio, only setting the mood for what’s to come. You softly hum to the songs as you look out the window, smiling. You weren’t even doing anything yet and it already felt nice. Just being with him, spending time together, was enough. 

When the car stops again and you try to open the door to step out, Jake sends you a warning glare, making you chuckle. Your hand falls back to your side while he walks around the car, opening the door for you and offering you his hand to help you step out. You shake your head at him, squeezing his hand tighter as he locks his car. “You really don’t have to do all that.” 

“Opening the door for you is the least I can do,” he assures you, the puppy eyes he gives you making your heart skip a beat. “Let’s go, everything is prepared already,” he says, taking you towards one of the buildings beside you. 

Your mouth falls open in awe as you step on the empty rooftop, your eyes landing on the blanket set in the middle with two baskets full of—how you assumed—food. You glance at him immediately, your eyes wide as you search for anything that might prove this isn’t real. Because honestly, how could it be? How lucky did you have to be to meet this man? 

“How did you–” 

“I have connections,” he shrugs, smirking when he sees your face. The innocent smile, with those wide eyes of yours was something he could look at forever. “I wasn’t sure what you would like but I thought dinner couldn’t go wrong, right?” He asks, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. You don’t answer him immediately. Instead, you move your hand to his forearm, squeezing it tightly as you stand on your tiptoes, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. 

Jake has to blink a few times to process what’s happening and before he can do anything, grab your waist, kiss you on the lips, smile, respond, anything, you’re already walking away, sitting down on the blanket he prepared earlier. 

He chuckles, shaking his head in awe as he comes to sit down beside you. You smile as you watch him, genuinely happy. “This is amazing, Jake. You couldn’t have made the first date better.” He smiles as well, opening the basket and taking out a bottle of wine. “I assure you it will be even better with this wine.” You laugh, taking out two glasses out of the basket and moving them towards him so he could pour the wine. 

The night went on with Jake feeding you all sorts of fruits he brought after you ate a dinner he ordered, drinking wine under the moonlight and watching the stars appear in the sky as you talked about all sorts of things. You’ve found a comfort rhythm together, making it feel easy to talk to him. And honestly, it felt almost like you were an old couple already, on your tenth date as least. It was a comfortable feeling. 

“Do you have any plans for the upcoming break?” You ask, taking a bite of a strawberry. “I was planning to go home, be with my parents and hang out with the guys. Riki has been bothering me about wanting to go out play basketball lately,” he laughs quietly at the thought, his smile turning into a teasing grin when his eyes land on yours again. “Why? Want to do something together?” 

You hesitate, rethinking if it was an appropriate topic of conversation when it was only your first date but the look in his eyes reassured you that whatever you want to say, he isn’t going to run away. “I might have mentioned you to my mom earlier today,” you admit and his eyes immediately light up. “Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah,” you breathe out. “Said that you’re an annoying little puppy that has been following me around for weeks,” you stick out your tongue, making him laugh. “Yeah, and what else?” He teases, leaning back on his elbows. Your eyes shift to something more serious but the smile on your lips never leaves. “That I like you, and hope this works out.” 

“I like you too,” he says without a second of hesitation and you can feel your cheeks heating up. He said it as if it was easy, no big deal. “She told me to bring you with me,” you add, searching for any sign of discomfort in his eyes. He doesn’t budge a bit though, his smile only growing wider as he nods. “I’d like that, for sure. Riki and his basketball can wait.” 

“Are you sure? You should probably be with your family. And if Riki has been asking you for so long–” 

Your name leaves his lips, interrupting you. Your cheeks flush pink and you gaze into his eyes again, swallowing a lump in your throat. God, why does your name sound so good coming from his mouth? “I’d let Riki wait for the rest of my life if it means being able to spend more time with you.” 

“He probably wouldn’t like hearing that,” you say, trying to mask the fact your heart is practically about to jump out of your chest. Because Jake? He had a way with words. But not only that. In the end, it came down to him as a whole. The way his eyes wandered over your body, the way he always knew what to say and do, the way he put so much effort into your first date—yeah, you did want to bring him to meet your mom. Who cared that this was only your first date? You knew it wasn’t the last. 

“That’s fine. I only care about what you like hearing.” You roll your eyes at him playfully, finishing the rest of the wine you had in your glass before standing up, walking to the rooftop edge. You lean forward, looking down at the street beneath you, watching the cars drive through and people walk to their homes. 

Jake admires you for a second before getting up as well, walking over to you. He hesitates for a second but then hooks his arm around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder with a smile. You freeze for a moment, slowly turning your head towards him. “Jake,” you whisper, your breath landing right on his lips. “Yeah?” Your breath hitches as you gaze into his eyes, his close presence sending shivers down your spine. Not in a bad way, though. A far from it, actually. 

Your eyes flicker from his eyes to his lips and that’s all Jake needs before quickly spinning you around so your body would face him. He doesn’t wait for anything anymore and crashes his lips with yours, his hands coming to hold your head. His thumb brushes over your cheek as he pulls you closer to himself, kissing you as if you were the air he breathes. As if you were the only person in the world. 

And you kiss him back with just as much passion, one of your hands resting on his chest while the other holds onto his shirt, keeping him as close as possible. His right hand slowly moves down to explore the curves of your body, fingers digging into the skin on your waist in an almost possessive way. You moan under his touch, never pulling away, not even as his hand slides lower, wandering over your thigh before holding onto it, making you raise your leg and wrap it around him. 

“Fuck, wait,” Jake is the first to pull away, breathles as his fingers dig into the flesh of your thigh, still holding your leg around his waist. “Wait,” he repeats, resting his forehead against yours. He closes his eyes, a soft groan leaving his lips. Your eyes widen, and even though he told you to wait, you kiss him again, the little sound he left out driving you crazy. 

Your body fits perfectly with his and you melt into him, the movements so natural you forget this is the first time your lips met him for a moment. Jake pulls away again, stopping you before things can turn in the wrong direction. Because fuck. He felt that kiss in every part of his body. 

“What’s wrong?” You frown, slowly standing on both of your feet again. “Nothing!” He panics immediately, his eyes shooting up to meet yours. “No, this was– This was perfect, like I can’t even–” You chuckle as he stutters, trying to find the right words. His cheeks have turned pink, making him cuter than you’d admit. “I just,” he clears his throat, trying to regain his composure. “I don’t want our first date to go like that.” 

You raise an eyebrow at that before it finally clicks and you realize what he’s referring to. Your eyes soften, your lips turning into a smile. You can see it all in his eyes, the way he holds himself back, the way he eats your whole body with his eyes and yet, still only thinks about how to make your date perfect. 

“Alright, but what if I want to kiss you again?” 

“Then I’ll try really hard not to get hard.” 

You chuckle, the smile staying on your lips as you watch him. “Come here,” you say and he closes the space between you again. You place a soft kiss on his cheek, your hands resting on his shoulders. “Thank you. For trying so hard and making this the best first date I’ve been on.” You pull back again, scanning his features for a second. He looks proud of himself but also genuinely happy, his cheeks still slightly pink. You walk past him, getting back to the blanket while he stands still, thinking about everything that just happened. 

You glance over your shoulder at him, smiling. “Let’s go?” He nods, catching up to you and casually throwing his jacket over your shoulders as you crouch down to clean up. “Come on, I got it,” he says, squatting beside you and filling the baskets again with the food you haven’t finished. 

“You’re going to be cold,” you mumble as you stand up again and let him pick it all up. He only throws you a glance and you squeeze the jacket around your shoulder tighter, ignoring the way your heart tries to get out of your chest. 

Jake leaves everything in his car and walks you up to your dorm, lingering in the doorway. “If you want to come inside, I wouldn’t mind,” you offer, opening your door. He smiles as he looks you up and down, taking the sight of you into his head once more. “I’ll come inside another time. If we win our next game. I can promise you that,” he answers, and you roll your eyes at him, masking the fact that maybe you wouldn’t mind that. 

“You’ll have to dream about that.” 

“Oh, trust me, I will.” 

You smile, “Good night, Jake.” 

Jake smiles as well, a soft genuine smile you could find yourself falling for. “Good night, love.” 

On Monday afternoon, you spend a little too long in the bathroom and your roommates notice, watching you from the doorway with curious expressions. You sigh, turning to them. “I’m overthinking it,” you breathe out and Manon nods immediately. “What’s going on?” 

“This is the first time I’m going to see Jake since our date. I don’t know, I’m nervous!” You explain, groaning. Daniella only laughs at you, shaking her head. “So? You’ll watch him be all hot on the ice, take a few funny videos and then you can make out with him against the plexiglass. What’s the big deal?” 

You roll your eyes at her, pushing past them and stepping out of the bathroom. “How am I supposed to just be there and act all normal around him? What if his teammates know?” You quickly shoot them a glance, making the two girls laugh. “Oh they definitely know,” Manon assures you. “You think he wouldn’t brag about absolutely winning you over with that date?” 

“And even if he didn’t tell them, one look at you and they’ll all see you’re absolutely head over heels for him,” Dani adds, plopping down onto her bed. 

“Just kill me,” you whine, jumping onto your bed as well. 

But honestly, Jake should be the one you worry about the least. Because it wasn’t him who was going to be surprised to see you on the ice. 

Shortly after, a loud knock on the door echoes through the dorm and Manon goes to open it, stepping aside immediately when her eyes land on the hockey captain. You hear his chuckle when he comes closer to you and when you open your eyes to look at him, his hand is reached out towards you, helping you get up. “Let’s go. I can’t be late,” his voice is soft, causing a blush to creep up your cheeks as you gently hold onto his hand. He laces your fingers together, offering your roommates a quick hello with a smile before walking off with you by his side. 

You’re laughing when you enter the ice rink. Jake quickly disappears into the changing rooms but doesn’t forget to kiss you before he does, making you freeze in your place for a second as you watch him. Suddenly, you don’t feel so scared about how things were going to look like. Because with Jake, it felt easy. 

Except it wasn’t. 

Because as you enter the playground, your eyes fall to a person you completely forgot would be here today—your dad. Oh god. Okay. You take a deep breath as you walk towards him, preparing what you were going to say. He doesn’t notice you approaching as he focuses on his conversation with the goalie, Intak if you remember correctly. You clear your throat nervously, getting their attention. “Sorry to interrupt,” you start, watching as your dad’s eyes widen when he realizes you’re there. “I just wanted to say that I’m here.” 

Intak smiles at you immediately, greeting you warmly before skating off to warm up, assuring you their conversation already ended. You finally look your dad in the eyes, catching the mixture of emotions in them. Is he mad, glad to see you, or even disappointed? You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to find the right words to say. Then, his lips curl into a smile and he pulls you into a hug, making all your worries vanish. 

“What are you doing here, darling?” He asks as he takes a step back again. “Well, I know you said– I know you don’t want me here, for whatever reasons but…the guys asked me to be their media girl and I thought– it was a way to get back again,” you start blurting out words, unsure if they even make sense, avoiding eye contact as you wonder what he’s going to do. Kick you out, remind you you’re not supposed to be here? Whatever it is, you don’t want to hear it. 

But then he says what you least expected. “Angel, it’s fine,” he chuckles. “I know I…told you not to come here anymore but I’m glad you’re here.” 

“You are?” Your eyes lit up with a spark of hope. “How could I not be? You’re my daughter, I’m not going to say no to hanging out with you. And also, your mom has been all over me lately, telling me I’ve gone too far and should let you come here when the ice is free,” he sighs. 

“Why didn’t you want me here in the first place?” You wonder hesitantly, watching his smile fall, catching a spark of regret in his expression. “It was stupid,” he admits. “I’ve realized that right after I’ve done it. I just thought that now you’re all grown up you…” 

Before he can finish, another voice interrupts him and you feel a familiar arm hook around your waist. “Coach! I see you’re already getting to know our new addition to the team, this is–” 

“Hands off my daughter, Sim. Immediately,” your dad commands, his eyes darkening as he watches his captain pull you close so naturally. 

Jake’s eyes widen and he obeys right away, blinking a few times as he places the pieces together. “Your daughter?” He asks, trying to remain calm. But honestly, he was far from that. “You didn’t know?” He frowns, scanning the boy with his dark eyes. “Uhm, no, sir,” Jake answers, quickly glancing at you for some sort of explanation. You just swallow a lump in your throat, trying to figure out what even is the right thing to say at the moment. 

“Dad, stop. He did nothing wrong.” 

“This is exactly why I didn’t want you on my ice.” 

You frown, a part of you mad at your dad again. Because what did that even mean? That his reason behind forbidding you to skate was even stupider than he made it seem seconds ago? “What, Jake? The guys? You can’t be serious, right?” 

“I am serious. These guys are exactly what I’ve tried to keep you away. I know them, know what they are like. These players scream trouble.” 

You scoff, “ironic coming from a NHL player, don’t you think?” Unbelievable. You turn to face Jake, ready to assure him, tell him to ignore your dad, but before you can even as much reach for his hand, he steps away, his gaze fixated on his coach. “I’m sorry. I’m gonna…start the practice,” he excuses himself quickly, disappearing without a single glance in your direction. 

If you were mad before? You’re furious now. “Great. Really great, dad. Thanks for ruining all the good things in my life. As if taking skating from me for months wasn’t already enough.” Before he can say anything, argue or apologize, you’re already on your way out of the complex, ignoring his calls after you. 

You manage to bump into Heeseung on your way out, mumbling a quiet sorry as you try to move past him. He frowns, stopping you. “You okay?” He asks but you just brush him off, sparing him just one simple glance before he moves aside, letting you leave. When you step out, you realize it was so easy because there are tears in your eyes. 

You wipe them off with the back of your hand, cursing yourself out. You’re not sure why you’re crying, if it’s all the frustration building up in you, your hormones making fun of you, or because Jake, the boy who made you feel so good in the past few weeks, has just acted like he barely knew you. 

You hated the feeling. 

Heeseung quickly blurts out an apology as he steps on the ice, frowning when he sees no one is paying him any attention. He skates towards the others, raising an eyebrow confusedly at the way the coach’s eyes stay glued to Jake, following his every movement. “Jake!” He calls after him, bringing him back to reality. “What?” Jake blinks a few times, subconsciously glancing at the coach nervously before focusing on his friend. 

“What did you do? Why did I just see your girlfriend run out of here crying?” He questions and Jake’s eyes widen immediately. He doesn’t even care to correct Heeseung that you’re not his girlfriend as he asks a different question, “she was crying?” 

“Yeah, man. I don’t know what happened but she looked…sad, broken I’d say even.” Jake’s hand clenches into a fist, partly mad at himself for disappearing like that before and partly just…worried. Whatever it is that got you feeling like this, he hates it. And he hates himself even more, knowing he might be the reason. 

Jake is out of focus for the rest of the training, too lost to even notice the coach yelling at him for being on a completely different side than he should be. It’s all in a blur, the whole training, the way he crashes with Taehyun as they do speed drills (Jake’s fault, no doubt), and even the way some of the guys ask him why you’re not here and if you’ve already decided you don’t want to be their media girl. 

His head is fully occupied with the thought of you, the way you tried to reach for his hand before but he just stepped back, the way you looked at him when the coach said something about Jake not being good enough (he didn’t but that was how Jake interpreted it), and the way you had kissed him just a few days ago. 

So, naturally, when practice came to an end, he tried to get off the ice as soon as possible, needing to see you, talk to you, apologize, and kiss you again. 

But he had to freeze mid movement as the coach’s voice rang in his ears, calling after him. Jake made a spin, a soft sigh escaping his lips when he saw the look on his face. “Get changed and come see me in my office, Sim.” 

“Yes, sir,” Jake mumbles back, no questions needed. It was way too obvious what he wanted to talk about. 

“What did you do?” Keeho asks curiously, glancing at the captain as he takes his gear off. “Don’t even ask,” Jake groans, sitting down in his place. “Did you guys know she is his daughter?” He shoots them all a look, the hidden desperation to find out he wasn’t the only one out of the picture passing by unnoticed. “Who?” Kai frowns confusedly. 

“Guess. Maybe the only girl Jake ever flirted with?” Taehyun chuckles, making Jake roll his eyes. “She isn’t the only girl I ever flirted with,” he argues but Taehyun doesn’t care enough to argue back. He just shakes his head, gently patting his shoulder as he moves to the showers. 

“She’s the coach’s daughter?” Jay speaks up, getting Jake’s attention immediately as he nods fiercely. “Apparently! He almost killed me when I put my hand around her waist earlier!” 

“And what did you do?” Intak eyed him from across the room. “Left,” he answers, so quietly the guys around him almost don’t hear him. Heeseung, however, catches it, his eyes widening. “You what?! Is that why she was crying?” 

“I don’t know!” Jake groans, hiding his face in his hands. “And now coach wants to speak with me as well. I don’t want to speak to him! What if he kills me?” 

“Should have thought about that before you made moves,” Intak snickers, disappearing into the showers as well. 

Slowly, everyone gets into the showers so they can be back at their dorms sooner but Jake takes his sweet time, delaying the meeting for as long as possible. However, when Huening peeks back into the dressing room a few minutes after he’s left to inform Jake about the fact the coach looks impatient, he collects his things and finally makes his way out of the dressing room. 

“You wanted to see me?” Jake says awkwardly as he steps into the office, placing his bag on the floor near the door but not sitting in the empty chair in front of him. All of a sudden, it didn’t feel the same as when he came into the office after practice to discuss game tactics. “You can sit down, Jake,” he says, more calm this time. 

The hockey player nods hesitantly, taking a few steps forward and then sliding into the chair. He stares down at the table, thinking about what he was supposed to say, how he would explain himself. “So,” the man clears his throat and Jake finally looks up. “You’ve been…seeing my daughter?” 

“Uhm,” Jake hesitates but when he sees the look on his face, he realizes lying isn’t going to get him anywhere. “Yes, I’ve– We met here a few weeks ago when I stayed late after practice to train some more.” 

He hums in response, eyeing him up and down. Jake swallows a lump in his throat. “And I’d like to keep getting to know her if that’s okay with you.” The coach stays quiet for a while, his brows furrowed into the same thoughtful look he always had while watching a team’s gameplay and figuring out what they could do to stop them. It makes Jake nervous. 

“And you’re the guy my wife told me about before? The one she had a date with this weekend?” 

“That would be me,” he nods. 

“What did you do?” 

“We had dinner together, sir.” 

“And then?” 

“I…took her back to her dorm. Walk her to the door and then we parted ways.” 

“You didn’t come in?” 

“No, sir,” Jake answers, frowning slightly. “I was respectful the whole time,” he adds, leaving out the fact he almost got a boner after kissing you. That definitely wasn’t something he’d want to discuss with your father. 

He hums again, not saying anything else. 

“I want you to keep your distance,” he proclaims suddenly, making Jake’s eyes widen. “What?” 

“You heard me, didn’t you? You have games to focus on, tactics to go through and teammates that rely on you. You need to have a clear head with no distractions if you want to take it somewhere.” 

Jake wants to argue, say that you’re not a distraction, that he can easily play as well as he did until now and still be a good boyfriend to you, but when he sees the firm look on his coach’s face, one telling him that it’s already decided and he can’t do anything about it, he only squeezes his hand into a fist, gripping tightly onto his pants as if that could possibly ground him. 

“You can go now,” he says but it’s more like a command, telling him to get out of his sight. “I’ll see you on Wednesday, rest well.” 

“Right,” Jake mumbles, the sound coming out more grumpy than he’d intended for it to. He doesn’t care to apologize though, pushing the chair back and getting out of the office as soon as he can, almost forgetting to grab his bag on his way out.

Jake [19:52]: I’m sorry Jake [19:52]: for brushing you off like that before

You stare at his messages for a few seconds, squeezing the phone tight in your hands as if that could make them go away. Well, maybe if you squeeze hard enough they will. You sigh, turning it off. You’re not even sure what or who you’re mad at but the feeling sits on your shoulders, reading the messages with you and it makes you feel even worse. 

Manon looks at you from across the room, glancing at Daniella before they both walk over to you, sitting on your side each and pulling you into a hug. You chuckle softly but in reality, it comes out broken. “Men are idiots.” 

“Absolutely,” Manon agrees, her grip tightening just a little. You smile, allowing yourself to melt in their warm embrace. “Yeah but one of them is my dad and the other a boy I really want to keep in my life.” 

“And that’s fine, just–” before Dani can finish her sentence, probably say something about how there will be more men interested in you and that Jake doesn’t have to be the one you settle for, your phone lights up again with another message from him. 

Jake [19:55]: Your dad held me after practice, wanted to talk to me

You blink, ignoring Daniella’s frown and unlocking your phone immediately. 

you [19:55]: About?  Jake [19:55]: Us Jake [19:55]: He asked me about our date Jake [19:55]: What we did and then basically if we slept together you [19:56]: what did you tell him? Jake [19:56]: The truth Jake [19:56]: That I took you back home and left immediately after you [19:57]: hm  Jake [19:57]: I’m sorry, Bambi Jake [19:57]: I planned on running to you right after practice  you [19:59]: But you didn’t Jake [19:59]: your dad told me to stop seeing you 

Your heart drops when you read the last text, part of you mad at your father, the other just disappointed. Because if your dad telling him to stop was enough for him to actually do so, then maybe you were wrong about him all along. 

Jake [20:00]: he practically told me that if I want to play I have to 

“My dad is officially not an actual person,” you groan dramatically, showing the text messages to your two friends. Dani reads through them with a frown, judging every word silently. 

you [20:01]: Are you going to listen to him? Jake [20:01]: I don’t know 

You want to tell him that if he’s even thinking about it then you should put an end to whatever it is that’s between you two, you should tell him that but as you watch the three dots appear and disappear all over again, you decide you can’t. 

So instead, you change the topic of your discussion, acting as if nothing happened. You can sense that Jake is somewhat relieved when you do but it lingers in the air for the rest of the conversation. How could it not? 

You know Dani judges you when she sits at her bed again and focuses back on her work but you try to ignore it, focusing on Manon’s support as she encourages you to text him, and then eventually, when the clock hits eleven, forcing you to talk about the elephant in the room as well. 

You sigh but listen anyway, your fingers hesitantly moving across your phone keyboard. And so, you talk about it. About what your father said, how you feel about it, and how Jake wants to do the complete opposite of what his coach told him to. It makes you smile. 

you [23:26]: How about this you [23:26]: We can pretend to listen to him Jake [23:26]: I’m listening Jake [23:26]: Enlighten me princess you [23:27]: Shut up you [23:27]: Around him, I can pretend I’m mad at you you [23:27]: And we won’t talk you [23:27]: You’ll simply act like he asked you to you [23:28]: while in private… Jake [23:28]: We continue seeing each other you [23:28]: exactly Jake [23:28]: I can definitely work with that Jake [23:29]: it’s not like I want him around on our dates anyway Jake [23:29]: Even less if I’m coming in you like I promised 

You roll your eyes at him, ignoring the smile that spreads across your lips as you read his messages. Who cares what your father thinks. If Jake is supposed to scream trouble, you’ll gladly listen to it all. 

The following days pass by exactly how you planned. You stay as the team’s media girl, talking to your dad as if nothing ever happened and acting as if Jake didn’t exist. And then, in private, you make use of all the time you can get together. 

“Missed you,” Jake mumbles as his lips crash with yours, guiding you towards his bed. You smile into the kiss, your hand finding a few hair strands and tugging at them slightly. He groans, sending a shiver down your spine. “You were with me the whole evening,” you remind him, holding onto his collar as you sit down on his bed, bringing him down with you. “That’s different,” he argues, stealing another kiss from you. 

His hand grips onto your waist, keeping you as close as possible, his lips never leaving yours. “Well, if you want to be with me more, feel free to tell my dad,” you smirk, pushing him off slightly. He frowns, “don’t talk about my coach while being in my bed.” You giggle, a soft sound that makes Jake’s heart skip a beat. 

“Then talk about what you want to talk about,” you tease, moving back until your back hits the wall. He immediately moves to sit in front of you, his hands gently parting your legs so he can move between them, coming closer as he kisses you again with so much need it causes a moan to escape your lips. 

“Be my girlfriend,” he says between kisses, squeezing your tights firmly. Your eyes widen immediately but the surprise vanishes when you see his sincere eyes, waiting for your answer, his thumb gently stroking your skin. “That’s how you ask a girl you like?” You tease him, trying to ignore the butterflies forming in your stomach. 

“Please,” your name on his lips makes you weak every time but now that he has that look in his eyes—the one that makes you want to kiss him until neither of you is able to breathe—it makes it even harder for you not to jump him immediately. “Let me take care of you, cherish you, and make you smile every day as your boyfriend. Because as much as I love this, I want to be yours completely.” 

By the time he finishes his sentence, you’re already pulling him in for another kiss, your cheeks completely red and your heart beating faster than before. Because, god, Jake Sim was going to be the end of you. “Yeah, I’d like that,” you say and he immediately cups your face, pulling you even closer than before, his body fully on yours now. 

His hand moves down again, his fingers gently wandering under your shirt when the door swings open and you quickly push him off, turning your head to see who came in. “God, get your own room for this,” Jay groans, closing the door behind himself. Jake sighs, running a hand through his hair before glancing at you, giving you one of his boyish grins. Your breath hitches for just a second before you clear your throat, recollecting yourself. 

“I thought you would be out,” Jake shrugs, moving to sit beside you, casually hooking his arm around your shoulders. You smile at him and shake your head slightly. “It’s fine, I should go anyway. I still have stuff to learn.” He turns his head to you to argue but when he sees your soft, reassuring smile, he just nods. “Text me later?” 

“Of course,” you nod, leaning closer to place one last kiss on his lips before standing up. “Don’t kill Jay while I’m gone.” 

“I’ll try,” Jake promises with a laugh, watching you leave the dorm with a smile. 

“Sorry, man. I didn’t know you two would be here. Put a sock on the knob next time or something,” Jay sighs, throwing his bag onto his bed. Jake just shakes his head, brushing him off by saying it’s fine. “Sunghoon has practice later and I have a date so if you want, the room will be free then.” 

“You’ve heard the lady, she has work to do,” Jake chuckles. “But thanks, I’ll figure something out.” 

Jake must have been the luckiest person to ever live because what were the chances of having an empty dorm and a girlfriend who loves to make him go crazy? 

Jake [21:05]: Still studying? 

He waits for an answer for a few minutes, trying to focus on his own work but honestly, it’s impossible. He reaches for his phone to check his messages when it suddenly lights up, announcing that you answered. He doesn’t hesitate at all as he opens your conversation, his eyes widening when he sees the picture you’ve sent him. 

It’s simple; you lying in your bed, your hair a mess on your pillow with your lips slightly parted, your eyes piercing at him through the screen. He groans as he watches you, his eyes falling to your bare shoulders. You’re in a white tank top, the straps falling off your shoulders enough for him to picture how you’d look with nothing to cover your body. 

Before he can do anything about it, he remembers how you laid in his bed just mere hours ago, thinking about how it’d feel to have you here again. You, bend over this very desk he’s been sitting at for the past hours, when he finally gets to touch you in a way he dreamed of from the very first moment he laid his eyes on you. He can hear you moaning his name and groans, sliding his hand between his legs. 

 He palms himself at the thought of you, your pretty eyes looking at him as he slides his tongue between your folds, knowing you taste incredible. He closes his eyes shut, his brows furrowing as he thinks about you in his bed, screaming for him to slow down to loudly all the kids on this floor would know just how good he makes you feel. 

He thinks about you in every part of his dorm, the shower, where he helps you wash up just for his cock to find your hole again, at the entrance where you’re so impatient you can’t even wait to get to his bed before you wrap yourself around him, even on the floor, sucking him off under the table while he tries to focus on the new hockey tactics you helped him come up with before. 

He chases his high as he thinks about what kind of face you make when you come, his hand moving faster, with more force. Soft moans leave his lips as he reaches the edge, his cock twitching in his hand and your name falling off his tongue before he releases, imagining it’s your mouth wrapped around him, your lips that swallow his sperm. 

“Fuck,” he curses, his head falling back as he catches his breath, pushing all the dirty thoughts that still hang in his head aside as he looks at your photo again, typing his answer. 

Jake [21:17]: That’s my pretty girl you [21:17]: Took you a while to answer for someone whose I’m supposed to be Jake [21:17: had a problem I needed to take care of, sorry baby

Your cheeks flush red immediately when you read his message, your mind going blank. Daniella notices the shift in your behaviour but before she can say anything, you run away to the bathroom, locking the door behind you as you slide to the floor against the door, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. 

you [21:18]: Show? 

You bite the inside of your cheek as you wait for his response, the room getting hotter when you see a picture he sent you. You swallow hard, feeling your pussy clench around nothing but thin air as you stare at the picture of his hard cock in his hand, catching a glimpse of his cum. God. 

He’s big, bigger than you expected. You slide your pants down with ease, your fingers finding your clit immediately. You bite onto your bottom lip so you wouldn’t let out any sounds, keeping your eyes on his picture. 

Jake [21:20]: Feels good?

He sends the questions as he palms himself again, watching the three dots appear and disappear again. He smirks, knowing damn well what he’s doing to you. 

you [21:20]: yeah

You send him a quick picture of you sitting on the floor, two fingers deep in your hole while your thumb presses against your clit. Your face is out of the picture but you know he won’t mind that, not when he now has a better material to jerk off to. 

You keep your eyes on your phone, reading through his new messages as he praises you while also trying to guide you through it. It works. Too damn much, if you’re honest. You close your eyes as you feel your orgasm building up, the thought of his long fingers (that you fantasized so much about before) replacing yours sending you over the edge. 

You sigh, your breathing heavy as you text him again, trying to calm down. If you don’t find a time when no one will be at the dorm quickly, you’re sure to go crazy soon. 

The following Saturday you find yourself standing in the coaching box alongside your dad, watching your boyfriend and his team skate around the rink. It’s the second period already and Tigers are winning by three points but you can’t help but feel nervous every time they lose the puck. Maybe because it’s the first game you’re watching as a girlfriend of one of the players, or maybe because you know there are scouts watching the game and this could be a great opportunity for Jake (or any of his teammates). 

You yell excitedly, cheering them on as you see the number four pass by two defenders all alone, the nervousness building up in you as you watch Jake make it to the goal. “Come on, come on,” you mumble as he shoots, praying for the puck to make it in. “Yes!” The whole team yells at the same time as Jake scores another point for them. 

The buzzer announcing the period end rings in your ear and you watch Jake skate towards the bench as quickly as he can, wishing to do nothing more than to pull you into the warmest hug he can. However, before he can do anything stupid, his coach pulls him into a hug instead, patting Jake’s back while praising him about the goal he just made. 

Still, his eyes stay glued to you, his coach’s words passing unnoticed by him. You smile at him, jokingly rolling your eyes when you see your dad. Jake chuckles, taking a step back and finally looking at the coach. 

“Thanks, coach,” he laughs before his teammates pull him into another hug. Your dad walks back to you, smiling proudly. “He’s going to take it far. If he’s lucky the scouts are all already writing his name down.” You smile as well, glancing at Jake for a brief second before you mask your excitement again. “Yeah, he isn’t all bad,” you mumble, making sure not to pay him more attention than absolutely necessary. Because if Jake’s truly lucky, your dad won’t notice the way his eyes linger on you throughout the whole fifteen minute break. 

The third period passes in a blur, ending with the Tigers’ win eventually. You watch as Jake and Heeseung find each other when the game ends, laughing as they pull each other into a hug. Huening and Jay skate to them immediately after, the rest of the guys following as soon as they can, jumping from the bench and skating to them to celebrate. You smile, a proud genuine smile your dad hasn’t seen on your face in what feels like ages. At that moment, it was completely clear to him that forbidding you from stepping on the ice was a bad idea all along. Because this was where you belonged, in the stands, watching his team take home another win just like you always had. 

“God, you were so pretty standing there and cheering me on,” Jake mumbles against your lips as he kisses you again, his hands wandering under your shirt. Your back hits the wall as he cups your breast in his hand, moving to kiss your jaw. “Are you sure no one’s here?” You ask, tilting your head slightly to give him more space as he moves lower, placing wet kisses on your neck. 

“The guys are all long gone. I told them not to wait for me,” he says and you gasp as you feel his teeth on your skin. The game ended almost an hour ago, no one should be at the rink anymore. Yet, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that you could get caught any minute. Even though the changing rooms were more private than the game area, it still felt too exposed. You just want to take him back home with you but you know that isn’t possible, not when both of your roommates are there. 

With the way he sucks onto your neck he’ll definitely leave hickeys but you’re not in the right mind to care enough, so, instead of telling him to be careful not to leave any visible marks, your hand finds his hair and you keep him in place, a soft moan escaping your lips at the feeling. He smirks, rolling up your shirt to get a better view. “Remember my promise?” 

“That you’d come inside of me if you win the game? Very clearly,” you assure him, your breath hitching when his cold fingers wander over your bare skin. He smirks as he watches you, his hand moving to your back, holding onto your bra clips. “Can I take this off?” You nod, your eyes following his every movement. He’s hot with his hair still wet from his previous shower, standing in front of you in that annoyingly handsome tank top of his. 

He unclips your bra, letting it fall to the floor. He groans at the sight, feeling his cock twitch in his pants. But just as he leans down, cupping one of your breasts with his hand and kissing the other one, the door swings open and he is quick to fix your shirt so that whoever just walked in won’t see what’s meant for his eyes only. Probably a cleaning lady, he forgot about the possibility of one of them coming in. Still though, how unlucky did he have to be to be interrupted both times he was about to be intimate with you? 

He opens his eyes, ready to apologize to the lady for still being here but he stops when his eyes land on a male figure instead, the words catching in his throat. 

“What the hell is going on here?” Your father’s voice rings in your ears and you quickly stumble forward to collect your bra from the floor, hiding behind your boyfriend to put it back on. Jake clears his throat in the meantime, opening his mouth and closing it again because truly, he had no idea what the appropriate answer to that question was. 

“Sim?” His voice is stronger now, sending shivers down Jake’s spine. “We uhm– this isn’t–” he tries to figure something out but when he comes to the conclusion there’s no possible way out of this, he closes his mouth again. 

He calls out your name next and you squeeze your eyes shut as you take a step forward again, standing by Jake’s side. “We are going home. Now. And you, Sim,” he turns to him again, staring a hole in the middle of his eyes. “We will talk about this later. I thought you had a good shot at making it somewhere but you– don’t expect to play on my team again.” 

“What?!” You and Jake shout at the same time. You immediately look at him, your eyes full of regret while his just show…fear, vulnerability. You hate seeing that. “You can’t be serious!” you yell, looking at your father again. “You can’t– He is your best player! You’ve seen him play today! You hugged him and called him son!” you remind him but your dad just scoffs. “I’m not talking to you about this. Take your things and get to the car. End of discussion.” 

“No, you–” you try to argue again but Jake stops you, holding your hand in his and making you look at him. “It’s fine, darling,” he assures you, giving you one of his smiles, except this time it not only feels but also looks forced. You open your mouth again but he leans down and presses his lips on yours, squeezing your hand tightly so you’d know he is there. “I don’t regret you in the tiniest bit,” he says gently, slowly letting you go. The pain in his eyes makes it feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest and there is nothing you can do about it. You hate the feeling. 

“Go,” he nods, mouthing the words “text you” as he places his hand on your lower back and guides you forward until you finally move on your own, stopping only once you reach your dad. “Fuck you,” you look him straight in the eyes with not a single care in the world before walking past him to get outside. 

Jake exhales deeply, running a hand through his hair. “I love her,” he proclaims confidently, catching his coach off guard. Your dad stands at the door, still trying to make sense of what just happened and if you really cussed him out. He focuses on Jake again, his glare never falling. “And honestly, I don’t care if you won’t let me play because of it. But we both know Heeseung won’t perform that well without his duo and it’ll only be a matter of time before the team falls.” 

“Are you threatening me?” He raises an eyebrow in disbelief. 

“No. That’s your hobby lately, don’t you think?” Jake doesn’t say anything else, taking all his things along with your jacket that you left just lying on one of the benches and making his way past the coach. He stops again in the doorway, hesitating for a second. “I won’t stop seeing her.” 

“Right,” the coach mumbles but all the confidence he had while yelling at the two before is gone, replaced with uncertainty and fear. “Good luck with the rest of the season,” Jake adds, the genuinity in his voice only pissing off the coach more. 

The door closes again and just like that, he’s standing there alone. He needs to blink a few times to gain control again because everything about this conversation was only proving him of the fact he had no control anymore. His little girl was growing up faster than he could comprehend, and his team was slipping through his fingers just as fast. He knew what Jake was like and that he had a great potential to continue with hockey and honestly, he wasn’t sure if he was protecting his daughter’s future on Jake’s. 

“Darling,” he breathes out as he slides into the driver’s seat. You don’t turn to look at your dad though, focusing solely on the game on your phone. He sighs, running a hand through his hair before fastening his seatbelt. “I’m just looking out for you. You have the whole life ahead of you, so many opportunities and goals to still achieve.” 

You scoff, ending the game and switching to instagram to scroll through new posts, not paying him the slightest bit of attention. Your childhood nickname falls from his lips and you squeeze your phone tighter, holding onto the last bit of strength you had. He sighs again, starting the car and driving off the parking lot. 

You sit in silence, still on your phone and texting Jake to even notice the road you’re taking, ignoring the way you catch your dad’s eyes in the rearview mirror every now and then. 

you [14:26]: The worst card ride ever Jake [14:26]: it’ll be fine love  Jake [14:26]: you just need to make it back to the dorm and then we can go out Jake [14:26]: I’ll take you out on dinner, hm? Jake [14:26]: what do you say? you [14:27]: I say that I’d absolutely love that Jake [14:27]: okay good <3  Jake [14:27]: I need to give you back your jacket anyway

It’s only then that you notice the missing piece of clothes, smiling as you read his messages. No matter how mad you were seconds ago, he managed to calm you down in the single minute you talked with him. And that was something you weren’t giving up on, no matter how much your dad wanted you to. 

you [14:28]: Shouldn’t it be me stealing your clothes sir? Jake [14:28]: Just say a word and all my hoodies are yours Jake [14:28]: I’d actually kill to see you in my clothes Jake [14:28]: Please

You giggle, stretching your legs slightly. Your dad looks at you immediately, the grip he has on the steering wheel tightening as he notices Jake’s name on your screen, a mix of emotions rushing through him. He wants to be happy for you, cheer you on in your relationship if he had you smiling like this, but he just can’t push aside the thoughts of what the future holds. You being with Jake could make him give up his career for you or it could make you give up on your dreams in order to support him just like your mom did, and he would hate for that to happen. 

you [14:29]: That could be arranged  you [14:29]: If we happen to go back to your dorm after dinner and casually decide to sleep over I’ll need to wear something Jake [14:29]: I’m telling the guys to find a different place to sleep at tonight Jake [14:29]: Can’t let them see that

The smile on your lips never leaves, not even when you finally look up from your phone and see the unfamiliar road, frowning. “Where are you taking me?” 

“Home,” he answers simply and it takes you a second he isn’t talking about your dorm. “What? I have plans, I don’t have time to drive home and back.” 

“You should have thought about that before I saw you half naked with my player,” he says through gritted teeth, more judging than he intended. He’s not sure why he says it in the first place. He really wants to reconcile with you, forget about the whole thing and act like nothing happened but for some reason, every time he opens his mouth, the wrong words come out. 

“I’m an adult!” you remind him, looking at the time on your phone. “You can’t be fucking serious.” 

“Language!” You huff, taking a deep breath as you finally turn your head to face him fully. “The fact you’re mad at me doesn’t mean you’ll be speaking to me like that.” 

You don’t say anything back, writing Jake a quick text explaining the situation before turning your phone off and placing it down in your lap, crossing your arms as you watch the road ahead. If he wanted to kidnap you then so be it. It’s not like you would sit around saying nothing forever. 

“Honey, how come you’re so late?” Your mother’s voice makes you look up as you step out of the car, her eyes lighting up immediately the moment she sees you. You smile, greeting her warmly and walking over to her. “What are you doing here? I need to cook something for dinner! You’re staying, right?” She asks, hopeful and excited. You chuckle, nodding. “I didn’t plan on visiting this weekend but dad kidnapped me so I had no choice,” you shoot him a look but he ignores it, taking his things from the car and coming to greet his wife with a kiss. 

“Kidnapped her?” She asks confusedly but he just brushes it off, saying that you’re talking nonsense. You scoff, moving past both of your parents inside the house. It’s been around a month since you last came by, with school and Jake keeping you busy, there wasn’t a chance for it before. And even though you didn’t want to be here, you would be lying if you said you don’t like being home. 

You pull out your phone again, glancing back to make sure your parents are still outside before you start a video call. You don’t even have a chance to fix your hair or make sure you look good when the call goes through, Jake’s face lighting up your screen immediately. You smile, a soft “hi” leaving your lips. “You ran away or something?” He asks after a greeting. 

Rolling your eyes, you glance behind yourself again before walking towards your room. “No, I successfully made it home. Want to see my room?” You ask but before he can even answer you enter the room, giving him a quick tour when he says he needs to see every corner, mentioning something about how a childhood bedroom creates a character and he needs to see everything. He’s a bit weird but honestly, you couldn’t find him more attractive. 

You sit down on your bed, resting your head against the headboard, watching him talk about how the guys jumped at him the moment he stepped into his room, congratulating him on his play. The excitement in his eyes as he talks about hockey makes your heart melt, until you remember your dad’s words. Don’t expect to play on my team again. 

Hockey was his whole life, the thing he was the most excited about, something he spent every free minute thinking about, you couldn’t be the reason why it was taken from him. You’d rather never step on the ice again yourself if it meant he could still play. 

“Heeseung said that he spoke to one of the scouts after the game, apparently they are thinking about me!” He grins and you can’t help but smile. “That’s amazing, Jake. I knew you could do it from the moment I first saw you.” He gives you a look but the smile never leaves his lips. “You told me I’m terrible and need to fix everything.” 

You shrug, laughing. “Yeah, that was me telling you I think you’re amazing.” 

“So you were in love with me back then,” he teases, making you roll your eyes again. You open your mouth to answer but a soft knock on the door interrupts you. You give Jake a quick look so he stays quiet and watch the door open, your mom walking in with her usual gentle smile. 

“Is that the boyfriend of yours?” She asks, immediately noticing the cause of your smile. You nod, biting the inside of your cheek. She walks over to you, sitting down on the edge of your bed. “Can I?” You don’t hesitate before moving closer to her, holding the phone so Jake could see both of you. He immediately greets her, the boyish grin on his face making you roll your eyes. “Jake, was it?” she questions and he introduces himself fully, saying that he’d offer her a hand as well had it been a different situation. It’s lame but she laughs nonetheless. “Well, we can shake hands when you come to visit next week. My daughter told you about it, right?” 

“She did,” he nods. “And I’d love to come, if I’m welcome to, I mean.” 

“Dear, of course! I wouldn’t have invited you if you weren’t.” 

“Dad isn’t a big fan,” you mumble, causing Jake to chuckle and your mom turn to you. “He met him before I could?” There’s a hint of betrayal in her voice but you already know that once she knows the full story it will be replaced with something else—disappointment. Not towards you, but your father. 

“Jake is on his team, the captain.” 

“Was,” Jake corrects and you roll your eyes again. “I was on the team, but Coach kicked me out today.” 

Your mother’s brows furrow, already sensing something iffy about it. “Why would he do that?” 

“Ask him, I’d love to know the reason as well,” you say, getting more and more annoyed as you speak. You sigh, running a hand through your hair to calm yourself. “Let’s not talk about it now, though. And for your information,” you turn towards Jake again, a shy smile spread across your face. “I’d love to have you here.” 

“Then I’ll definitely come,” he assures both of you, watching as your mom’s smile grows wider. She sits there with you for a bit longer, asking Jake about all sorts of things and watching you interact together, somehow feeling proud. She always wished you the best in life, and from what she saw in the short moments, Jake was exactly that. 

She goes to leave the room but stops again as her hand grabs the doorknob, glancing back at you one last time. “I’m not sure what you and your dad did to each other but I don’t want to stir the pot even more so, honey, try to cover that hickey of yours so he doesn’t have a reason to freak out,” she winks at you before disappearing from the room. 

Your cheeks grow red from embarrassment as you lean closer to your phone, looking at the hickey Jake has left on your neck in your front camera. He laughs on the other side of the phone, saying that it looks great but you only send him a pointed look. You groan, “I’m going to strangle you, Jake Sim.” It’s a threat, but he smiles. “With your thighs I hope.” 

You close your eyes, exhaling tiredly but Jake notices your lips twitch as you try to hold back your smile. He knows he’s got you exactly where he wants. 

You spend another thirty minutes on the call with him before finally stumbling out of your room as the smell of chicken hits your nose. Your dad tells you to sit that as he plates everything so you do, playing with your sleeve awkwardly. 

The food is set on the table soon after and your parents both sit opposite you, your mom asking you about exams and friends casually while your dad eats in silence, humming sometimes as a form of response. 

You stare at your plate for a few seconds before deciding to look up, catching your dad’s eyes at the same time. He sighs, visibly exhausted. You’re not sure if it’s because of the continuous arguing with you or just today’s game, though. “You didn’t mean it, did you? That you’re not going to let him play anymore.” 

Something flickers in his eyes, a moment of hesitance, regret maybe, you don’t know. He doesn’t answer, just putting another piece of meat into his mouth. You don’t just let it go like he seems to want, though. “He is your best player and you know it. You can’t kick him out just because he is dating your daughter instead of being fucking happy for me.” 

That seems to work because he winces, finally looking at you, really looking at you. “Darling,” your mom coos softly, tilting her head slightly, almost as if to tell you to calm down. You shake your head, refusing to drop the conversation. “I’ll…I won’t go on the ice ever again like you wanted, I won’t be near when you have practices and I’ll stop coming to games just please.” The plea sends a shiver down his spine, making him drop his fork on the table. 

“I don’t want you to give up on skating for him.” 

“So you’d rather make him give up on his whole future for me? Because we both know he doesn’t plan on leaving. If he did, he wouldn’t have talked to me again after you told him to stop seeing me the first time. And honestly, I don’t want to leave either.” 

“You did what?” Your mother turns her attention to your dad immediately, slapping him across his shoulder. “That poor boy does nothing but make our daughter happy and you told him to stop seeing her?” You knew that if someone was going to have your back it’d be your mom but you didn’t expect her to be so into it. She didn’t know Jake. There was no reason for her to get all worked up and start a whole argument with him. 

But, you weren’t going to stop her. 

You watch your parents argue for a while, your mom telling your dad he’s unreasonable and should finally realize you’re an adult while he tells her something about thinking about the future of the both of you, which only makes things worse. They start arguing about how their situation used to be similar and he doesn’t want you to go through the same thing your mom did but you disappear then, figuring that’s not a conversation you should be a part of. 

Later that night, a knock on the door makes you look up from your phone. You expect it to be your mom, after all, it’s always been her who talked to you after they had arguments when you were little, wanting you to know it was all okay and you didn’t need to worry about anything, but when the door opens, it’s your dad you see standing there. You sit up, nodding for him to come in. He sighs, closing the door behind himself as he pulls out a chair from your table, placing it right in front of your bed and taking a seat. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, running a hand through his hair. You frown, not saying anything as you watch him, waiting for him to say more, explain himself. “I know it’s stupid and unreasonable,” he repeats your mother’s words, his brows furrowing in a way that tells you he doesn’t completely agree with it. “You know I love you, right?” He finally looks up to meet your eyes and you nod, a part of you feeling bad when you see the look on his face. The regret you thought you saw before is now way more visible, accompanied with a sign of simple care. “And I love the boys on my team, all of them. I think…Jake is a great kid, darling.” 

His words catch you off guard but you still stay quiet, knowing that’s not all he wants to say. “When me and your mom met we were around the same age as you, did you know that?” He doesn’t give you enough time to answer before he continues. “She wanted to be a doctor, she had her whole life figured out while the only thing I knew was that all I wanted to do was skate and be with her.” You smile, the thought of your parents at your age warming your heart. You can see yourself and Jake in their place. You can see Jake loving you all the years later just like your father loves your mom. 

“Then I got an offer, a contract with a team I really wanted to join. It was on the other side of the country and your mom…she dropped everything without thinking about it so she could go with me. I know she doesn’t regret it now, and neither do I, but knowing she gave up her future plan for me ate me alive for years.” 

“I never wanted to see you go through the same, so I did what I thought was the best at the time; told you not to skate so you couldn’t meet any hockey players that could mess with your future. I know it’s stupid, that it’s up to you what you do with your life I just…I simply didn’t want hockey to be the reason for another girl I love to lose something she’s passionate about.” 

You stand up from your bed, regretting all the bad words you said about your dad in the past few days. He watches you walk over to him, waiting for you to say something, anything, but you just pull him into a hug. “I love you too, dad,” you mumble. “And I’m sorry for cussing you out before.” He chuckles softly as he pulls back, shaking his head. “I deserved it.” 

“I’m not going to force Jake to leave my team, by the way. I’d be incredibly stupid to let that sort of talent escape.” You grin proudly, thanking him. “And…if it’s something you both want then,” he clears his throat, visibly stalling as he thinks it over. “Then I’d like to see him come with you next time,” he nods slightly, almost as if he was approving of his own words. “But just, please, promise me you won’t make your whole life about hockey, his games and plans. Promise me that if you stay together, you’ll figure something out while you both do what you love, even if it means being away from each other for a while.” 

You nod, it’s the least you can do. “We will,” you agree. 

Not having to hide a whole hockey player from your dad feels great. You still have to stay professional while filming the guys and limit Jake’s neediness while being around your dad but that’s understandable. And Jake knows that as well, still, he loves pushing the limits. 

“So, you’re going to be at our game tomorrow, right?” Jake asks, his hands resting on each side of you on the bench, trapping you in. He hovers over you, and even though you want nothing more than to pull him into a make out session when he gives you that boyish grin of his again, the presence of your father next to you reminds you to think straight. 

“Yeah,” you nod slightly, unable to take your eyes off him. He smirks, quickly glancing at his coach before leaning closer to you, stopping just below your ear. “And then you’ll let me go for as many rounds as I score.” He says it like it’s a deal you agreed to before but when he backs up again, there’s a question in his eyes, mixing with a sign of hope and mischief. “You better score a lot then,” you smirk, pressing your hand on his chest and pushing him off gently. “Go practice.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he does a little prince bow, winking at you once more before putting on his helmet and skating away, joining the others. 

“Is Jake going to drive you afterwards or should I wait and take both of you?” Your dad asks, keeping his eyes on the boys while sitting down beside you now that Jake’s gone. “Jake will drive. I agreed to go grab some food with the team after the game so we’ll drive on our own.” He nods, glancing at you again. “And he’ll be staying the whole week?” 

“The whole week,” you agree, causing a sigh to leave your dad’s lips. “In your room?” You roll your eyes, “yes, in my room. And in my bed, you’re not expecting me to make him sleep on the floor or something, are you?” 

“No,” he answers through gritted teeth, making sure you know he isn’t exactly happy with the arrangements. “Just don’t…no, nevermind, I’m not talking about this,” he shakes his head aggressively. “I’ll talk to Jake instead.” Your eyes widen, realization hitting you. “Don’t talk about sex with my boyfriend!” you smack his arm. 

“I need to talk to him as a worried coach to make sure my player doesn’t get a girl pregnant in his prime year,” he shoots you a pointed look and you sigh. The following week was going to test your strength and love for your father a lot. 

8:00 am lights up your phone before you knock on Jake’s door, watching as it swings open immediately. Jake doesn’t hesitate before grabbing your hand and pulling you against him, your bodies colliding together. “What’s going on?” you ask, blinking a few times. “Why was I supposed to come?” 

“The guys are out, they went for breakfast as Jay’s pregame ritual,” he explains, still holding your hand as he takes you towards his bed. “I’d like to start a pregame tradition with you as well,” he explains, his eyes glinting with need. “Oh?” Your lips curl into a smirk as you sit on the bed. “And what might that be?” 

Jake kneels down in front of you on the floor, gently pushing your legs open, keeping his hands on your inner thighs as he looks up at you. And god damn is he the hottest person you’ve ever seen. “Can I eat you out?” You blink, feeling hotter just at the thought of that. You bite your bottom lip, slowly nodding. His smile grows wider, his eyes lighting up as if he was a little kid whose parents allowed him to eat ice cream before dinner. 

He stays on the floor, sliding off your jeans, groaning quietly as his eyes land on your panties. “God, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,” he sounds desperate and your body responds immediately. He runs his fingers over your clothed cunt and the whine that leaves his lips makes a shiver run down your spine. If this was his reaction to barely seeing you, how loud on earth was he going to be during the whole deal? 

It takes no time for him to slide your panties down to your ankles, moving his head closer to you immediately, keeping his eyes on yours as he licks a long strap from your hole to your clit. “Fuck,” you moan quietly, grinding your hips against his face. He smirks, his grip on your thighs tightening as he holds you in place, firm enough so you can’t move on your own. “Relax, baby. I’m going to take my sweet time with your little pussy.” 

And he does. He absolutely fucking does, to the point it drives you crazy. Your legs shake and you squirm under him as he lazily sucks on your clit. It’s torture but god, he’s also the greatest pussy eater you’ve met, definitely the most eager one from everyone you’ve been with. His whines and groans fill your ear and the only thing you can focus on is how he sounds against your wet cunt. “I’m gonna–” your breath hitches and he sucks harder. “Wait just a bit longer, baby.” 

Jake’s hand slides to his pants, pulling out his throbbing cock and slowly palming himself while he brings you closer to your orgasm, his free hand still digging into the flesh of your thigh. “Need you to hold it in, love. Want to cum together,” he groans, his tongue flicking between your folds. “God, your pussy is so good.” 

You whine, your eyes closed as your hand finds his head, pushing him closer against your clit, needing the release. You feel him smirk, letting his cock free for a minute as he holds you with both hands again, opening your legs wider. “Jake!” 

“Fuck,” he whines again, pulling away from you completely which only causes you to whimper. “Say it again.” 

“What?” You shoot your eyes to him again, shaking your head as you try to bring him closer again. You fail. “Say my name again, say it over and over again and I’ll let you cum, okay?” You nod, his name leaving your lips in a broken whine. “That’s my girl,” he smirks before dipping in again. You gasp at his harsh suck but you definitely don’t complain. “Jake, Jak–Jake–mhm.” 

“Yes, baby, it’s me. I’m making you feel all good, aren’t I?” You nod fiercely, throwing your head back as you tug on his hair lightly. He whines again, finally bringing you to your climax with one last lick. Your legs tremble around his head but he doesn’t seem to mind at all, giving you a few more licks so you can ride it out before coming up to you, stealing a kiss from you immediately. “You taste fucking amazing, you feel that?” 

The taste of your own cum on his lips feels weird but you never pull away from him, only deepening the kiss. You glance down quickly, finding his hand palming over his length again as he kisses you, trying to reach his own climax. You wrap your hand around his and he smirks against your lips. “Want to help with that?” 

Your mouth is wrapped around his tip quickly, looking up at him as you move your head for some sort of reassurance. Which is exactly what you get as he cups your face, moaning loudly at the sight of you. He could watch you forever, especially when you’re stuffed with his cock. 

“God, baby, have I told you you’re absolutely gorgeous?” He groans again and you only suck harder instead of responding. He starts blabbing things after that, soft praises leaving his lips as if it was the only thing he knew how to do. You stop paying attention to them in the middle of it but your body still responds, your pussy getting wet again. 

You pull back slightly just to tease him but Jake doesn’t seem to like it much as he thrusts back into your mouth, his cock hitting the back of your throat. You gag but don’t pull back again, relaxing your mouth completely and letting him gently thrust into you on his own. He doesn’t care, closing his eyes and gently brushing his thumb on your cheek just to feel himself. 

He comes down your throat slowly after and you gag again, pulling back completely before swallowing. He praises you again and again, kissing you as if you are the air he breathes. Because to him, you are. Your bodies wrap together as your kisses turn gentler, more loving. 

You just lay in the bed for a while, leaving wet kisses all over each other’s bodies, leaving marks behind before Jake’s alarm rings and he takes you to the bathroom, helping you clean up in the shower. When both of you are done washing he throws a jersey over your head, making you glance down confusedly. You had your own team clothes to wear with the team logo and everything but before you could protest your eyes land on the number on the jersey, realizing it’s his. 

“You want me to wear this?” 

“I want everyone at the rink to know my gorgeous, talented, lovely and smart girlfriend already belongs to someone,” he whispers, capturing your lips in another kiss. You smile, nodding slightly. In that case, you were going to wear his jersey for the rest of your life.

As soon as the game ends Jake runs into your arms, picking you up and spinning around before pushing his lips against yours. You giggle, wrapping your hands around his neck and pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. 

Tigers won 5-2, three of those points scored by Jake because as you later found out, he told Heeseung about your little deal and so he helped him get as many goals as possible. You don’t even care, for all you care he could have scored zero and you’d still let him have whatever he wants. 

Your dad clears his throat behind you and Jake gently places you back to the ground, grinning happily. “How was that?” 

“Amazing,” Taehyun pats his back from behind, the other guys slowly joining in. “As the MVP today you’re buying, right?” Heeseung wiggles his eyebrows as he wraps his arm around Jake’s shoulder, making him scoff. “I only buy food for my lover and myself, I don’t think you fit in either of those categories,” Jake shakes him off quickly. You shake your head at the interaction, the smile on your face never leaving as you congratulate them all. 

Jake wraps his hand around your waist, keeping you close as he talks to his team about the game. You don’t mind at all. You wrap your arm around him as well, smiling back at his friends when they give you a teasing, knowing look. This time, your dad seems to have the same smile on his face, looking at Jake more proudly than as if it was a warning. 

“Okay, go change quickly so we can go,” you say, placing a quick peck on his cheek to which Heeseung laughs with a whistle, taking your boyfriend from you. Jake mumbles something under his breath but you don’t pay it any attention, watching him leave with a smile. 

“The jersey suits you,” your dad speaks all of a sudden, making you turn to him. “Yeah?” You bite your lip nervously, looking down. “Thank you. For accepting him,” you smile, looking at him again. He rolls his eyes, almost as if that wasn’t exactly true, yet. “He still needs to work for it. I’ll have my eye on him during the whole week.” You chuckle, nodding. “Have fun with that.” 

It’s four pm when you finally part ways with the rest of the guys, your fingers laced with Jake’s as you walk towards his car, sliding into the passenger seat after he opens the door for you. He settles in the driver’s position, looking around. “Did you have fun?” He wonders, his voice soft, soothing. You smile, reaching for his hand again as you assure him it was great. 

“But next time, let’s eat alone, just the two of us, yeah?” 

You agree, squeezing his hand in his. “I’d love that.” 

“Good,” Jake smiles, leaning in and capturing your lips with his. “How about dinner tomorrow?” He asks between kisses, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. You hum against his lips, agreeing. Your fingers tangle in his hair, keeping him close as you deepen the kiss, enjoying the alone time with him. You were definitely going to make use of all the time you have during this break, with no roommates standing in your way and no exams watching over your back. 

You stay in the parking lot for a few more minutes, sharing kisses and light touches with soft giggles that make you fall for him just a bit more. “I like you so much,” you mumble and Jake’s grip on your waist tightens. “Yeah?” He teases, a smirk forming on his lips. You roll your eyes at his reaction, kissing him again. “I like you a lot too,” he says and even though you’ve heard him say it many times before, it warms your heart in a way that makes you feel like he just said the other L-word for the first time. 

“Let’s go,” Jake leans back in his seat, finally starting the car and driving off. His right hand rests on your thigh soon after, his eyes focused on the road. You smile, stealing glances at your boyfriend as he drives you home. You could definitely get used to this. 

Jake grabs your bags from the truck of his car while you open the front door of your house, greeting your parents before running out again to help him. However, when you reach him, asking him to give you one of the bags so he doesn’t carry it all on his own, he just brushes you off, saying he’s got it. You know he does, that he could easily pick you up as well but you still want to help. 

“Love, just go inside and watch me with your pretty eyes, yeah? I’m not gonna have you carry some bags when there’s no reason for you to.” 

You roll your eyes but still listen, walking in empty-handed with your boyfriend right behind you. “Dear, go help the poor boy,” your mum nudges your father immediately when her eyes land on Jake. He however shakes his head, still refusing any help. Your dad scoffs but there’s a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Which room is yours?” You point towards a door and he nods, leaving you in the hallway alone. 

“He’s more handsome in person,” your mom teases immediately, making you roll your eyes with a smile and your dad grumble something. “Please, just let him breathe. Both of you.” You mom giggles, taking your dad with herself back to the kitchen so they can resume cooking and you quickly run to your room. 

Jake is sitting on your bed and looking around the room when you come inside. His eyes immediately flicker to you and he opens his arms with a smile, telling you to come closer. You step between his legs, letting him wrap his arms around your waist and rest his head on your stomach. 

The two of you settle in your bed, laptop opened on Jake’s lap as you watch a movie, cuddling together. The moment is sweet, relaxing, something he’s been craving after the intense game earlier. When your mom comes into the room to tell you dinner is almost ready, Jake immediately jumps out, offering his help. 

You watch him joke around with your mom as he moves around the kitchen, helping her finish up. He starts a conversation about today’s game with your dad as well, listening to all his feedback. It makes your heart ache. It’s like he belongs there, in the small space of the kitchen, in your family, in your life. You experienced relationships and grew to realize they weren’t easy, they were hard, with obstacles on every corner but with Jake, it was the opposite. You thought it would be hard, and it was for a while at first but now, it just seemed like this was how things were supposed to be. 

“How many points did you score today?” Your mom asks curiously, setting down a plate in front of Jake. He smirks, glancing at you for a brief moment before answering. “Three. But I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t score anything if it wasn’t for your daughter cheering me on the whole time.” Your mom smiles proudly and you blush, kicking his feet under the table. He chuckles, his hand finding a way to your thigh and giving it a tight squeeze. You stay quiet after that. 

The conversation flows naturally as you continue eating. Your mom talks about memories from your childhood, family vacations, how you first started skating, and even some of your more embarrassing stories you’d rather forget. Your cheeks flush red and it takes everything in you not to shut down the conversation immediately. However, when the familiar sounds of Jake’s quiet laugh rings in your ears and you notice the happiness on his face, you stop yourself. The embarrassment you felt slowly turns into something softer, more gentle. 

Jake eases into the rhythm of your family quickly, assuring your father of his good intentions every time he feels the warry in his eyes, joking around with your mother as she sets the picture of little you into his head. He bets you were the cutest kid. 

He offers to help with cleaning the dishes but your mom refuses, telling him to go spend more time with you, which he happily agrees to. You roll your eyes when you hear their conversation but lead Jake back to your room nonetheless. 

“Your mom loves me,” Jake grins proudly, closing the door shut behind you. You smile, shaking your head. “Don’t let it get into your pretty head, captain. That doesn’t mean you’re not being watched by my father all the time,” you close the space between you, your voice teasing. When you look up at him, he’s smirking. “Call me that again,” something flickers in his eyes as his hands find your hips, pressing your body against his. 

“Captain?” you raise an eyebrow at his request but the tease in your voice never falls. “Is that what turns you on?” you whisper, pressing onto him more until his back reaches the door. “Maybe,” he leans closer, claiming your lips with his as his hands wander to your lower back, taking in every inch of your body as he moves lower, giving your ass a tight squeeze before lifting you up as if you weigh nothing. 

You wrap your legs around his hips, your fingers tangling in his hair as you deepen the kiss, a soft moan escaping your lips. “God, you’re absolutely beautiful.” A shiver runs down your spine as he says your name. “Tell me what you want, baby. What you want me to do.” No words leave your mouth as you press your lips on his again, pressing your hips on his harder as a form of answer. He smirks again, walking over to your bed where he drops you. You gasp but can’t help and laugh as he comes closer, spreading your legs and settling between them. 

“Words, love. I want words from you.” You moan again as he presses himself against you, feeling his bulge through the layers of clothing you’re both wearing. “Anything, everything–” you gasp when he rolls his hips against yours in a slow, teasing motion. “You promised three rounds, Captain.” 

Jake grins, watching your lips part as his hands wander over your body again. Gentle touch on your shoulder, his fingers brushing over the skin of your arms, his hands coming under your shoulder to trace over your stomach and breast. Your breath shakes as you watch him, your eyes following his every movement. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long,” he mumbles, kissing you hungrily, the kiss able to convey all his feelings. “Dreamed of you like this.” His right hand moves lower, stopping between your legs and pressing it over your core. 

“Jake,” you gasp as his lips move lower, leaving wet kisses and marks over your jaw and neck. He hums against your skin, pulling off your pants with ease. “Yes, baby?” He asks as he slides your panties to the side, his fingers flicking between your folds. “What do you need, tell me.” 

You grind your hips against him on an instinct, a soft whimper of his name leaving your lips. “Need you, need– fuck,” you whine, looking up at him. “Come here, closer. Need you closer.” He smirks, leaning down and holding your chin with his left hand, making you look at him. “That’s it, baby. Use your words,” he kisses you again, his tongue fighting with yours as he rips your panties away, making you yelp. 

You barely register him pulling his pants off as he cups your breast in his hands, massaging them as he waits for your every reaction. His mind is clouded with thoughts of you, what he’s going to do, what kind of pleasure he would bring you. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. He needs to hold himself back not to cum untouched just from the way you look at him. 

“In, Jake, please,” you beg and something in him flickers. He moans, the sound sending a shiver through your whole body, and pushes your legs up, making you hold them. His eyes focus on your cunt, aligning his cock with your entrance. “God, you’re so fucking wet, darling. I can just slide into you–” he pushes his tip in, making you gasp, “with ease.”  

Your nails dig into his shoulders, your mouth wide open, the only sounds leaving your lips being a few broken gasps, barely audible once. Yet, they are loud enough for Jake. He leans closer, placing a few open-mouthed kisses on your collarbone. “So good,” he moans against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. “It’s like you were made for me entirely,” he praises, his kisses lowering to your breast. He lets out a silent grunt as your nails dig deeper but he never backs away. 

“I–” I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. The words are loud and clear in his head, the urge to say them out loud for the whole world to hear so strong he has to bite down his tongue not to do so. But, god, does he want nothing more. “I need you so bad,” he says in the end instead, listening to your quiet moans as he thrusts into you, quickening his pace. 

Your eyes roll back, one of your hands squeezing the sheets beneath you while the other finds Jake’s, lacing your fingers together. Your bodies move against each other, the room getting hotter each second as you get closer to your climax. “So good,” he praises you again, his teeth digging into the soft skin of your shoulder. “Jake, I’m gonna–” You don’t even get to finish your sentence as he thrusts harder into you, making you gasp. It only takes a few more quick hip movements before your breath shakes and you reach your orgasm. 

Jake pulls out right after, cursing under his breath as he palms himself over your stomach, finding his release as well. “Mhm–more,” you beg, holding onto his wrist. He goes crazy over your words, flipping you onto your stomach with ease. “You want more?” he asks with a smirk, pressing his body against your back as he leans to your ear. “You better have a condom on hand then because I do not want to be pulling out again.” 

Your whole body trembles as you point towards a drawer beside your bed, watching his hand reach for it. It takes a few seconds but the same hand rests on your back soon, tracing his fingers across your spine, making you arch your back. He chuckles when you raise your ass, your breast pressing against your mattress. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he mumbles, giving your ass a tight squeeze once again before he feel him enter you from behind again. 

You lose track of time, how long it takes for Jake to bring you to your climax again, how much time passes before he goes down on you, encouraging you on your third release of that night, you don’t remember how many times you truly come on his tongue either, everything getting blurry in your head, the only thing you can focus on being Jake’s moans and whines. It’s music to your ears, just as much as your moans are to his based on what he tells you. 

I love you. Jake fights the words back again as he rests on top of you, gazing into your eyes as if you were the only thing he could see. Because to him, you were. “You did so well,” he says, cupping your cheek and brushing a few sweaty strands of your hair off your face. “You weren’t so bad yourself, Captain,” you smile back, pressing your lips on yours in a soft, gentle kiss. 

“Let me help you wash up?” You nod and he immediately stands up, ready to get to work. 

The rest of the week goes on like a dream. Jake takes you out every day, on dates, night strolls, buying you flowers or sweets the moment he sets his eyes on a shop for even a mere second. You certainly can’t say you’d mind. And somehow, in the mix of the days you spend with him, you notice a shift in your parents behaviour, mostly your dad’s. His intense stares, the ones supposed to dig a hole in the middle of Jake’s forehead, slowly turn softer, watching him with much more appreciation you’d dare to say. 

“You need to come back soon, dear,” your mother says, making you roll your eyes as she eagerly holds Jake’s hands. “Shouldn’t you be saying that to your own daughter?” You question, watching as your boyfriend leaves out a soft laugh. “I’d love to visit soon again, I’m sure we can arrange something,” he agrees and she finally lets go of his hands. You replace his spot, hugging her goodbye with a promise of finding time to visit. 

“Sir,” Jake smiles as he steps in front of your father. They stay silent for a moment, watching each other before they both laugh, your dad pulling him into a hug, as if he was the son he called him before he became your boyfriend again. “I’d like to say you surprised me but I always knew you would be good to her.” 

“Did not seem like it before,” you comment, watching their exchange. Your dad sends you a look but doesn’t say anything. “Just…continue treating her right,” your dad turns his attention back to Jake, “otherwise, your death can still be arranged.” Your mom slaps his shoulder but Jake only laughs, nodding. “I promise to treat her like a princess,” he assures him, mocking a prince’s bow to prove his point. You shake your head at him, locking his arm with yours. “Let’s go.” 

He listens well, that’s something you’ve learnt over the past few days. Your bag swings over his shoulder as he laces his fingers with you, saying one last goodbye to your mom before leaving the house, taking you to his car. 

And as if the dream was to never end, the attention he pays to you, the care he holds for you, never disappears, only growing each day. He keeps to his promise and with every longing look from across the rink, every touch of his when you find yourselves back in your room, and every word he says to you, you find yourself falling for him more and more. 

“Oh but that’s not all,” he laughs, forming a grimace similar to disgust. “As if the whole conversation with Jay wasn’t weird enough on its own, I walk into the bathroom and boom, a lady hiding in there,” he says, skating ahead. You chuckle, following him with ease and listening to his stories. “I ran off immediately and called Sunghoon not to come back to the dorm anytime soon. Something Jay should have done for sure.” 

“But there’s a good thing that comes from it,” he turns around to face you, one of his boyish grins on again. “It gave me a reason not to be in my dorm studying, and also an excuse to see you.” You shake your head slightly, quickening your movements slightly to reach him. He offers you his hand immediately and you hold it without hesitation, letting him pull you closer. “I missed you.” 

“We’ve seen each other earlier today,” you remind him. 

“Not the same. Far from it.” 

You smile, not saying anything for a while as you simply let him guide you around the rink, your eyes locked with his. It’s quiet and yet, it feels like everything about the moment is loud and clear, letting the emotions you’ve been feeling for a while come out. 

“I love you,” you whisper. 

Jake’s eyes widen and he stops in his tracks, making you bump into him. “Say it again,” he begs, his eyes flickering from yours to your lips. “Please.” 

You smile, cupping his cheek. “I love you, Jake.” 

“God,” he breaths out, his arms wrapping around your waist as he picks you off the ground and spins around. “You just made me the happiest man on earth, you know that?” You laugh, telling him to put you back down. The moment he does, his lips find yours in a tender kiss, telling you everything you need to know. He pulls back and smiles, pressing his forehead on yours, “I love you.” 

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