#HOLY SHIT

[ilovejayce]

This man turns me on so easily its insane holy shit

[boygirlfag-sael]

@cctv-catgirl

I’m gnashing my teeth like a child of Cain

If this is a prison I’m willing to bite my own chain

[keferon]

More TexAid mech AU fun! Warnings for Vortex POV (nothing bad actually happens to First Aid but he's sure thinking about it)

====

It felt good to be respected finally. 

Sure First Aid had bitched at Vortex when he was responsible for cleaning him, told him if he was going to murder his pilots he should be at least less messy about it. He’d been so cutely frustrated when the next one had come back with his bones shattered into a fun treasure hunt around the cockpit, bone splintered everywhere. But he also bitched at everyone and everything. 

But when he’d been put in the pilot seat he wasn’t like all the others who thought they could grab his sticks, shove their way into his systems, replace him.

No, First Aid was respectful. When he got in he just strapped in and let Vortex run the show. He had always been a sucker for a pretty twink all tied up for him and scared. 

He delighted in teasing him, wriggling his control sticks a little, moving a little slow to see if he could make him impatient. Give Vortex a reason to punish him. 

But for all that he was a brat at other times First Aid was always so well behaved in his cockpit and always so appreciative of his violence. He could feel the increase in his pulse as Vortex tore apart a monster, the way he never looked away. 

One time Vortex had held a monster up by the throat and slammed it against a building and he had heard First Aid make a soft noise of wanting and he had slowed down his kill, leaving his servo on the monster’s throat as he had rhythmically slammed his blade through the monster’s torso in a way that was suggestive enough that he could feel First Aid squirm before he muttered, “Stop it or someone will notice and think it’s me.” 

Vortex tightened the restraints on First Aid as a reminder of who was in charge and heard him whimper. Vortex considered himself somewhat an expert in the different shades of terrified whimpering and knew that this was one of the fun ones. 

It made him want to have a body again so he could do something with it. He’d never fucked someone in his cockpit, guarded it too jealously, but he could imagine it with First Aid. 

It made him want to splatter First Aid across the cockpit, deep enough into the seams that he’d never really leave no matter how hard it was cleaned. 

The only thing really stopping him was that he could only do that once. 

And once he did First Aid wouldn’t be there to clean him up. His detailing routine had shortened considerably now without the need to mop his pilot out of him but First Aid was still in charge of cleaning the monster gore off of him and out of his outer seams. 

There was talk of First Aid needing to learn more mech maintenance so he could handle Vortex’s internals as well. Vortex still sometimes killed techs in ‘accidents’, as a little treat. He was looking forward to it being First Aid climbing through him. 

There was a little spot he wanted to trap him in and grind his gears against him. It would be just enough to leave a series of perfectly spaced cuts along him. To mark him as Vortex’s. He wondered if he’d get a nice scream out of him? If First Aid would run his hands along the stitches later and feel his teeth on him? 

If he’d wriggle back in through his systems and let him do it again? 

[ilovejayce]

Long hair Jayce w beard does something to me idk what but I wanna ride him 😔💔

[kugelblitzzed]

ALL I DO IS DRAW TIM

[divine-draws]

oh god there's so much to explain but this is for a hunger games au. some seriously toxic billford... lmk if yall wanna know more about it

[ilovejayce]

Y’all I’m watching arcane s2 act 3 AND BRO IM ON THE FIRST EP AND SILCO HELLO???? HES SO FFDFFDDDJDJENFINE

[anomalousdata]

[Incoherent screams]

THIS IS A MAJOR PLOTLINE IN VEILGUARD!!! WE GET MASSIVE LORE DUMPS FROM TOUCHING THE WOLF FIGURINES!!! THEY DID THIS ON PURPOSE-

Original post by @bubonickitten

[va1kyr14]

Hang on just ONE second.

She has an adorable little mole on her abdomen??

Got I am so fucking thirsty for this I need to calm down.

[storywonker]

They recorded tinnitus? It's a physical thing?????

[sumi-sprite]

Those fish aren't cooked, they're salt cured

coworker: hey you should come look at the results of a ph test for a customer’s water

me: I’m king of busy rn

coworker: no really just come here

the ph test:

my honest reaction:

[queenoftiddies]

Damian, a little eleven year old child, ten apples tall: This is my baby brother

Jason, a man the size and weight of a fucking fridge, whose age “reset” after the Lazarus dip: Hi.

[jottingprosaist]

Lately I've seen a lot of people using "Star Trek ending" as a shorthand way of saying "cheesy 60s ending where all the characters get together and laugh at some shitty one-liner until the freezeframe in order to wrap things up with a neat breezy bow" and, well. They're not wrong... but that's only half the episodes.

The other half of the episodes end with you staring at the TV in haunted existential silence because the story's thesis was "Don't delude yourself that waging war with technology is any less brutal than committing murder with your bare hands. You are a mortal and an animal like any other and if you think you have a justified reason to kill you had better be prepared to face your enemy, and recognize him as an intelligent equal, and smash in his skull with a rock."

[dougielombax]

I wonder what the largest shellfish is?

Edit: Okay this post is getting a LOT of traction. What is going on?

Edit: Fucking hell.

This post has set off a fucking MINEFIELD!!!

What have I DONE????!!!!!

I’ve lit the blue touch paper and found there’s nowhere to run to!

I’ve summoned a wolf only to unleash a tiger!!!!! Made of fire! And nails.

Probably….

Idk.

Edit 2: 5,000 Notes! Good god! What the HELL do you want from me. I’ve never had a post of mine take off like this until now.

Some got close like the one about homeowner associations (fucking powertripping middle aged mediocrities!) which got at least 1.5k notes but this is the most I’ve gotten on a single post so far.

Anyway.

AND this post has officially gone to hell. (6,666 notes)

Edit: 8,000 notes! Holy shit!

Edit: 9,000 notes!!!

Edit: 10,000 notes!!!!!!!!!

Edit: 15,000 notes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edit: 20,000 Notes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHO THE HELL TURNED OFF THE REPLY THREAD FOR THE REBLOGS?!

Okay never mind it’s back. For now at least.

Anyway.

[mytwistednightmare]

…I need this.

I need this now.

-Virgil

Corvid Christmas tree. Simple, but beautiful.

[osmanthusoolong]

Jesus fucking Christ