#and coming to terms with losing him
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just thinking about how Evil of the Daleks feels to me like “I believe in her” from the Satan Pit for twojamie
#connected to my last post about the god complex and twojamie#i also think that two as a regeneration in reality has so much faith in jamie#it’s also evident to me in the krotons#when they don’t know where jamie is the doctor insists that he’s fine#he’s always fine#like two and jamie are so inseparable in his era#it’s like no matter how bad things get as long as jamie is there everything will be okay#if he can reach for jamie and jamie reaches back it can’t be that bad#as much as a love jamie reeling from the fake out loss of the doctor in several eu stories in particular#i’d love to read more of two defending jamie#and coming to terms with losing him#cause i think about that scene in the war games where he tells jamie and zoe to go#because he knows what will happen if they don’t run#and after barely any arguing he lets them stand by him#and i can only think that a part of two hopes#what he’s afraid of#with the time lords and punishments and loss#if jamie is there maybe it’ll be okay#for it all to come crashing down#“i knew this would happen this is what always happens#type beat#doctor who#classic who#jamie mccrimmon#second doctor#twojamie
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I love Raph and haven’t said that enough so to be more specific I love that Raph is a soft boy who loves bear plushies, a gross boy who eats an assortment of things that are definitely better left alone, a smart boy who is more than capable of taking down villains through planning and fortitude alike, a strong boy who is dedicated to training his muscles and fighting prowess, a teenage boy who loves his brothers but is more than happy to tease and roughhouse with them, an angry boy who sometimes lets his anger take a hold of him to cover the fear, a gentle boy who is generous with hugs and affirmations to those he loves, a capable boy who takes on more than should ever be expected of a teenager, a good boy who just wants to be a hero and slowly comes to realize the cost of that duty, a good boy who has no reservations about putting himself in the way of harm coming to his family, a good boy who’s a great brother and son and person and deserves only the best the world has to offer.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#he’s so wonderful frfr#my poor boy is traumatized but still so proud of what they accomplished because they’re HEROES#what started as something fun - Saturday morning cartoon-like heroes vs villains esque - soon becomes his calling#and he loses himself a little along the way#because the world is TERRIFYING now#if they don’t do something about the bad things in the world then worse things will come#and Raph CARES too much to let it happen#even at the expense of his own happiness and youth#and he luckily reigns back that fear - knowing his family is there to keep an eye out with him#and he finally lets himself be a kid again#he’s very well rounded and his flaws are so good because (like the others) they are ALSO his strengths#I like how it’s softly implied that bears are his fav animal too bc that’s cute af#headcanon that he likes them so much because a stuffed bear was the first toy splinter managed to get Raph#but yeah one of my favorite things about tmnt is that the characters are well rounded and rottmnt exemplifies that immensely#with raph being no exception!!#amazing big brother and character#there’s a REASON in my tmnt main character tierlist he’s S tier!!!!#hot take but in terms of who should be leader I think it should be less who’s the better leader-#-and more who’s the better leader FOR THIS SPECIFIC MISSION#bc all four can be great leaders fight me on that#APRIL can as well 100%#doesn’t need a designated leader for them to succeed#they just need ~communication~#one of my favorite things tying Raph and Leo together is that they both *hide*#I’ve talked about Leo’s many masks a lot but Raph has one too#and it’s the mask of a hero - the mask of the protector
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actually the thing that pisses me off when fandom talks about the titans tower incident isn't even just that people wildly misinterpret/overreact to it, but that they only care about it because it happened to tim
half the other unhinged shit jason has done towards heroes (beautiful and spectacular) is like. never brought up. the titans tower incident is just tim fans' way of angsting up their blank canvas
#none of you care this much about jason and mia's fight or dick and jason's thing#he's got nothing going for him and y'all need to accept that#tim pov in a jason centric fic drives me BONKERS#jason feeling remorse for attacking a child like they weren't both teenagers and both vigilantes#the guy was robin. he fought worse than jason. him losing to jason was pathetic and proved jason's point#tim was not suffering for months after that fight. he does not have ptsd. he is not scared of jason. the bats don't tell jason to stay#away from tim#come to terms with the fact that tim is BORING#stop making jason ooc just to make tim's perfectly normal life sad#anyways sorry guys i just read back to back fics of jason acting like he was gonna break down for hurting tim because he's just a baby#every once in a while i just have to vent about this character to air out my frustrations#jason todd#red hood#anti tim drake
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there are all of 6 fics on ao3 that come up when you search the word “disabled” in the dead boy detectives fandom. I’m dealing with a fibromyalgia flare up rn so I’ve decided to come up with some (potential!) disability/condition/syndrome/etc. headcanons. enjoy!
(oh and just to note: I stayed away from conditions with obvious facial / appearance difference as no actors with facial / appearance difference were cast in the show and I was unsure if it would be appropriate. while I have experience with a lot of the following diagnoses, I do not claim to be an expert on any of them and do not intend for this to be used as a diagnostic tool. if you feel any of these are offensive/inappropriate, please message me and I’m happy to talk about it :) this is more just to encourage broader disability representation within the fandom!)
Edwin: autistic, PTSD (from hell), chronic pain/fibromyalgia (from his death/hell), minor visual impairment (not enough to need the hard-to-come-by testing needed for glasses when he was alive and so assumed the various limits/effects were normal. was told otherwise by Niko), would’ve had shingles if lived long enough
Charles: ADHD, PTSD (from his father/growing up in an abusive household), dyslexia, Reynaud’s syndrome (either already born with it or as a result of his death—both angsty), was in the beginning stages of an ED prior to his death, post-concussion syndrome, near-sightedness (never given glasses bc he wasn’t about to tell his dad the board looked a little blurry sometimes)
Crystal: cPTSD (reminder that neglect is also abuse :), bipolar 1, IBS, endometriosis
Niko: autism, depression, POTS, hEDS, anxiety, sprite-induced agoraphobia, epilepsy, lactose intolerance
Monty: Depersonalization-derealization disorder, selective amnesia (this is not the first times Esther has messed with his form/killed and revived him, but the experience is traumatic and so his brain decides not to remember it), recurrent arrhythmia, synesthesia
Jenny: OCD, BPD, ED recovered, Celiac’s disease, diabetes type 1, anemia
TCK: autism, NPD, lactose intolerance, colourblind
Esther: chronic pain (I’m choosing to believe that the cane isn’t just for show!!), NPD, endometriosis
Tragic Mick: cPTSD, depression, HoH, arthritis, diabetes
(The Night Nurse , the Dandelion Sprites, and various other characters felt either too supernatural and/or not developed enough to assign anything to lmao)
#maybe I’ll give edwin fibromyalgia to project on him again#also just to be clear none of this is meant to demonise or speak poorly on any of these conditions !!!#ppl are just varied and have varied bodies and I think it’s fun to explore that with fictional characters :)#lmk which you agree/don’t agree with !!!#also while I don’t see most of the characters as deaf/HoH I do think Charles and Niko have the potential to be CODA(s?)#like I think Charles’s mom and Niko’s dad could’ve been deaf/HoH#granted idk if Charles would know any BSL bc of his father#but I think Niko would know JSL!#she loses her dad and then has no one to use it with :((((#like her mom maybe stops signing or was never great at signing with her husband’s death#and Niko’s father’s friends don’t really hang around even before she’s sent to the states yk#let the record show I was very tempted to give Edwin all sorts of chronic shit that was popular at the turn of the century#but like polio felt a bit too far#TCK is based on how cats are ofc#I think Crystal having manic episodes and having to come to terms with the fact that it doesn’t make her a bad person would be interesting#also Monty is roughly based on how crows be but like how it would translate wrong if that makes sense#like crows can see more colors than humans so I think that screws with his senses in human form => synesthesia#you could give most of them here ptsd just from the events of the show but that felt too repetitive so I kept it to pre show traumas#lmk what yall think#dead boy detectives#dbda#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#monty the crow#jenny the butcher#esther finch#the cat king#tragic mick
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Hot Take:
Of the Bats, Dick is the best at being liked, Jason is the best at being loved.
#jason todd#dick grayson#don’t get me wrong#Dick’s great#he’s very good at getting on people’s hood side enough for them to trust him#it’s an important skill#but it’s one that also requires he loses himself into a character#something that makes it hard for him to form meaningful long term relationships#“emotional vulnerability” is not a concept that comes easy to him#meanwhile Jason is a bitch#objectively and unequivocally#but he’s very good at empathizing and connecting to people who feel the world’s given up on them#he’s good at building community#he earns trust the hard way and that creates room for his own deeply devoted allies#both of these are important skills#neither are things Batman can do worth shit
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he still has his tonsils. by the way if you even care
#sorry this is fucking UNINTELLIGIBLE but unfortunately i’m still on my bullshit about dr. daddyissues. yeah it’s gonna be all month#i am rotating episode 2.8 ‘the mistake’ in my head at breakneck speed. i am gnawing on it i want to swallow it#oh he’s such a lying liar who lies. charming little bastard. would rather die/lose his license than express one wholly unaffected emotion#‘he thinks not giving a crap makes him like house. like it’s something to aspire to’ quick question HOW serious do the daddy issues have to#be before you start latching on to fucking GREGORY HOUSE as a paternal figure and role model. really#even cameron is not down this bad. even WILSON is not down this bad.#the daddy issues of it all are very understandable though because even setting aside whatever went down back in childhood that shit his#father did to him in seasons 1-2 is SO messed up. jesus#imagine traveling all the way across the world to the hospital your son works in for a consult which confirms what you already knew: you’re#going to die of cancer in like 2 months. making a whole point out of stopping by to visit your son. not telling him what’s going on.#letting him spend a whole episode’s worth of time gradually coming to terms with his complicated feelings towards you (complicated on#account of a whole childhood of objectively awful parenting). the kid finally is able to try reaching back out to you. after YOU initiated#the contact in the first place. how do you react? well obviously by telling him ‘oh sorry i actually have to get in a taxi right now’ and#fucking back off to the other side of the world without giving him a chance to actually talk to you at all and resolve any of the emotions#you just dredged up. oh by the way you still haven’t fucking told him you’re about to die and in fact actively mislead him into thinking#he’s going to have the chance to try meeting with you again next time he visits your home country.#especially fucked up given that the whole reason it DID take your son so long to come around THIS time is that he feels like every time#he’s tried reaching out to you in the past you’ve just disappointed him by refusing to put in the effort to meet him there.#And Now Here We Are Again.#rowan what the FUCK is wrong with you. i want to dig you up and kill you again#house md#robert chase#caseyposting
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all max wants to do is race and spend time with his loved ones, the way this angers people is actually quite comical
#twitter (and here tbh) losing their shit over him not caring about a times magazine like#max has made it Very clear many a time that he /jusy/ wants to race and that he’ll stop when it’s no longer fun#so how come you’re so surprised that that is exactly what he’s doing? why do you feel the need to push your expectations onto someone that#doesn’t want them?#perhaps that’s a you problem#me personally; i find it admirable that he has such a strong moral compass in terms of what he wants to do and what his ambitions are#max doesn’t give a single shit about what you think of him yet his name is still forever in your mouth#think about that one :)#max#max verstappen#formula 1#m talks
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Thinking about "default to violence as a form of justice and discipline" Jason and him never questioning those thought processes or his constant urge to maim others for not staying in line with his morals/beliefs (even if those beliefs are not standard/societal or are incredibly niche to Jason specifically) because he was raised under the unspoken rule of "fuck up and find teeth in your throat" in the wolf house and it only really begins to bother him when he loses his memories but as soon as he starts to remember his past, he stops caring because oh right, this is how the world is supposed to work (he does not understand why others do not agree)
#jason disapproving of abusive people but lacking the ability to recognize certain behaviours of his own as abusive#because this is the way the world works and obviously his moral code his rules his laws his ethics are pristine and perfect#and anyone who disrespects them must be disciplined must be punished must find themselves staring down sharp teeth and death#because how else is he supposed to correct them#anyway him having violent urges towards leo and piper throughout tlh and in the beginning he hates himself#but gradually through the story he accepts it so instead of striving to do better and rewire his thoughts like a typical main character#he just comes to the conclusion that he is right and being this way is fine for him and he stops questioning it#and then leo loses his arm and he feels bad about it but he can't care because it was deserved it was discipline it was correct#jason can't accept his behaviours as abusive or thoughts as problematic because that would imply his upbringing was abusive#and he cannot come to terms with that without shattering himself in the process#so he just doesn't and it's fine and it's okay don't worry about it just do what you're supposed to and everything will be fine#happy talks pjo#jason grace#junebug#june defaults to violence for similar reasons but she's significantly less accepting of it. very full of self-loathing. deeply suicidal. 👍
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Farewell
#u ever think about how thancred lost minfilia three seperate times#like the first time he had to deal with her merging with God who was actively growing weaker and weaker by the day#the second time he had to lose her to a foreign world on the brink of destruction#the third time he had almost come to terms with the fact shes gone#only to be faced with a child that looks just like her with her name her eyes her hair#and the possibility of getting her back#but also knowing he cant bc that would doom the child to never get to live on her own terms#and he knows minfilia would never want that#and he doesnt really either bc hes far softer than he lets on#anyway. chews him like dog toy#thancred waters#minfilia warde#heavensward#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#art#my art#xanders art#xanders haunting art#digital art#fan art
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I need to lock these gay ass motherfuckers all in a room.
For science.
#i want to see who comes out alive#my money is on sinjir or thrawn#ok but thrawn and kallus canonically fought and kallus got his ass handed to him#also eli zeb and condor watching from the sidelines-#sinjir would read them all to filth but I don't think he could hold his own in a fist fight should one break out#crosshair is a little shit who is definitely also going to say something snarky that's going to get him punched in the face#(like what happened with rex in s7 of tcw)#kallus probably has the most like self restraint in terms of taking verbal blows#and also thrawn#i think sinjir and crosshair would either be best friends or moral enemies#no in between#why are they all imps omg#idc i think crosshair is losing#crosshair is going to start shit but he can't end it#or maybe the spend the entire time bragging about their boyfriends idk#sw aftermath#aftermath trilogy#sinjir rath velus#alexsander kallus#tbb crosshair#crosshair bad batch#thrawn#mitth'raw'nuruodo#tbb#sw rebels#thrawn trilogy
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regardless of who tsukki ends up with, i think it’s really important that he be the one to confess. they could already basically be in a committed relationship in everything but name, but it is imperative that the other person wait and be patient with kei until he can bring himself to put words to what he wants. it’s not just that kei would probably be scared if the other person confessed first which could result in a rejection if done at the wrong time, it’s also about kei having to accept the vulnerability that comes with caring about another person and willingly put down his shield for them. the people that are good for kei are the ones that understand this and how important it is that he makes this step, that can look in his eyes and recognise all the he wants to say and how much he cares, but don’t force the shield away before he’s ready.
#this applies to both kurotsuki and tsukkiyama equally#albeit in different ways#i think kuroo has to be a bit more aggressive in showing tsukki that he is in fact safe#kuroo has to work harder to build that trust#whereas tsukki already trusts yamaguchi entirely more than anyone else#but he has to come to terms with rocking the boat and changing their relationship and risk losing him#his feelings have to reach a tipping point where his fear of change is less than his desire for a romantic relationship#just tsukki thoughts#tsukki <3#tsukishima kei#kurotsuki#tsukkiyama#haikyuu#also this isn’t the same as not pushing him to be better there is still room for that#but on this one thing#on this one thing they need him to come to them
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g-d i love my mclennon mutuals. every day i want to send my father your urls just bc i know he would have a coniption over the things you post
#my father is so deeply insanely obsessed with the beatles#like everything i know about them i learned against my will bc my father made me listen to him infodump about them when i was growing up#and i like the beatles (probably just bc i had to listen to them so much ngl) but i hate him bc he's a shitty person and a terrible father#so the idea of him losing his mind over the things you say about his special interest is just <333 so good to me <3333#also i'm not just using the terms 'infodump' and 'special interest'; i genuinely believe my father is autistic and has adhd#i also think my mother is autistic (me and both my siblings are autistic/have adhd too so...had to come from somewhere!!!)#but i don't think either one of them would ever accept that if i told them that#txt
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pyrite received the moniker fool’s gold in the mid 1800s after the california gold rush for ‘tricking’ miners, thinking they’d found gold but the rock was worthless. so if we approach bat’s dt title from the angle that ‘they found something that they thought had meaning/value, but is ultimately worthless,’ i think that can only apply to kuukou and hitoya. as for what that could be for them 🤔
kuukou:
i see it being more metaphorical for kuukou since he’s not one for material things, and i hope to god it’s kuukou’s principle to deal with things on his own being challenged lol
a subsection of solitude is him sacrificing himself to save who he considers family so that could also be challenged
could also be kuukou’s violence, despite him trying to focus it on correcting others’ behaviour (the story frames it as wrong but i refuse to accept that LOL)
there are a few material things that kuukou does have. idk if he still has the nb bandana, but that bond with ichiro could be abused/put into question in some way. nb’s team colour is gold as well
and like…………. technically????? for all that it’s a place of religion, kuugen temple like……… is a material physical place. kuukou is a wandering monk but his temple kinda keeps him in one place. the sachihoko on his jacket are hidden by nature of the photo, but the fact that sachihoko are wards meant to protect temples from storms and lightning that historically have burnt down temples are hidden…………
and as for hitoya:
if there’s anyone who places a lot of value in the material world, it’s hitoya lmao. this man opens up his check book just to look at how much money he has and feel satisfied lol. money i’ve always assumed was a form of control for hitoya, so i could see that coming into question
part of hitoya’s materialism comes from wanting to be the best. like he’s got to own the best bc it reflects he is the best and i could see that reliance on goods coming into question
the way hitoya’s removing his tie makes me think the values he has as a lawyer. he wields the law for his own benefit and that’s what makes him morally grey but i personally don’t want to see that questioned (again lol) bc he’s helped people with that ability
however lol, hitoya only takes cases he knows he can win outside of bullying cases. i think that’s a character trait that encapsulates his reliance on money, his need to be the best and that grey morality in one go lol so it’d be nice if hitoya was put in a position where he has a case that’s very clearly a lose-lose situation for himself but it’d be rly fcked up if he didn’t take the case lol
#vee queued to fill the void#like maybe kuukou fcked around and picked up some hella bad karma recently and is about to find out#(by maybe taking it too far with the final confrontation with the tobari bros for instance)#and maybe hitoya is going to have to come to terms with who he is as a lawyer being faced with kuukou’s issues#and jyushi caught in the middle is going to have to be their hero and hope lol#i don’t really want to put this in the atmosphere lol but kuukou also values bonds and family#it should be what saves him lol but he could also lose bonds he has in this track#like………………….. if kuukou loses both his temple and a bond he values in one go and maybe bc of his actions…………………………………
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every day i wake up have another fucking Realization about ajax and the shit he says and i just. Holds head in hands
WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE SAID THIS IN 1.1 WHAT DOES HE KNOWWWW
like childe Literally said skirk never elaborated on the narwhal thing to his face At All nvm explicitly bring up its origins as a cosmos traveling entity so its like. Either he lied (which would be funny as fuck im ngl) or Literally just . got the completely coincidental urge to call out the phrase "celestial voyager" at . his elemental attack recreation of the creature that just Happens to indeed be A celestial voyager . just Somehow. like how wildly convenient of you to identify that element specifically there with 100% accuracy ajax care to fucking Elaborate on the source of that inspiration there . Thanks xx
(i want this man dead irl)
#this guy in 4.0: oh yeah idk what 'it' was maybe that whale i saw but yeah guess i have a lot to learn abt myself there#also him in version ONE POINT ONE: yeah lemme call my recreation of that whale by its Exact Correct Identifier#'dull mortal' has a friend i guess . in terms of boss dialogue that makes me lose it#i s2g if it turns out ajax has been the Small But Knowing Fool (get it like fatuus) the entire time and he just#doesnt mention that shit bc its like . not particularly relevant for the time being . why waste oxygen on it#anyway alternatively is like the concept of a space traveling whale . some folklore thing#that jist hasnt come up before but is a thing in lore and served as partial inspiration which is like#ok pure speculation firstly But would still be kinda interesting if it ends up being a thing#but like given the entire. mental connection thing#i Do find it Curious ajax mayhaps instinctively identifies aspects of the narwhal like that#same entity allegations undodged as Usual. i want to scream#anyway. why does he say this shit its like sometimes it feels like he Knows#but Whatttttt#what does it mean...#rambles#genshin#childeposting
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Thinking about Armen from the haunted again
#minecraft the haunted#Armen The Haunted#I’m not normal about him#thinking about if after he gets saved he loses all memory of being possessed#him having no idea why everyone is terrified of him#and having to relearn and come to terms with the fact that#he killed thousands of people#he girlbossed too hard#drake being the only person who isn’t even a little scared of him#DRAKE BEING THE ONLY PERSON WHO ISNT EVEN A LITTLE SCARED OF HIM
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i'm a legend around this place -> they completely goddamn disrespected me
a comprehensive approach to seduction that i have perfected over the years -> everybody ruins my system, nobody gets it
that's what i do, christie, and it was working, i was manipulating your feeble little brain into doing what i want. what i want. -> she rejected me. me, frank, me, the coolest guy in the history of this goddamn school
i don't need your approval. goddamn. i don't need anyone's approval
power. power. charlie and i refuse to be defeated by this. we're gonna win this war. we're gonna win this war. we're gonna win this war. we have the power. power. now we'll take our clothes off. we have the power. it's not a joke.
#i was going somewhere with this#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#dennis reynolds#dennisisms#ada's videos#ada speaks#ok.#we know dennis' outbursts are primarily caused by his delusions shattering.#but it's the fact that these are all. formed over YEARS of his life.#and to have it all obliterated in a second#like of course it's an explosive rage but it's very... specific kind of rage#it's insecurity first and foremost#but it's dennis resisting coming to terms with that#he can't look inward and feel upset with himself so he directs it on other people instead#he's angry that people don't *get* him#he has his status and experience and by extension his power and control stripped away#every social interaction is a carefully plotted *attack*. he's at war with the person he's conversing with.#there is a winner and a loser at the end of each one and when dennis loses he REALLY loses#because all he has is this false confidence and he cannot fucking handle being told it's wrong#and yes his range rover is a status symbol to him but it's also an extension of himself#it's a part of him#character meta
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