#i’d love to read more of two defending jamie

[girl-hwat]

just thinking about how Evil of the Daleks feels to me like “I believe in her” from the Satan Pit for twojamie

[supercorpkid]

Alex Danvers (Aunt).

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Alex Danvers x Niece!Reader

Word Count: 1920.

“Guess who got a call from the president of the United States yesterday?” Alex asks, sitting on the table, where your entire family is already waiting for her to have dinner.

“Let me guess,” Kara pretends. “Her husband?”

“HA-HA. Me. Obviously.” She goes on, unaffected. “She wanted to talk to the Director of the DEO, because she wants to give some medals to a few heroes.”

“Oh, so she called you but really she wanted to talk to me?” It’s your momma’s response, and everyone laughs at her.

“Sorta. But also, no. She wants to give medals to all of the Superfriends, including me.”

“That’s nice.” Sam squeezes her shoulder with a loving smile. “Congratulations, hun.”

“Thank you. But if you all don’t mind, I’d like to read the e-mail that was sent to me after the call.”

There’s no excitement in every one’s ‘ok’ and ‘yeah’, but Alex ignores it as she begins to read on her phone.

“Director Danvers,

Here’s a list of heroes we would like to be there to receive their medals. Please let me know which ones can attend.

Supergirl, Brainiac 5, Dreamer, Sentinel, Superkid,”

You get an elbow on your arm with a bright smile coming from Kara. You smile too.

“Miss Martian, Martian Manhunter,”

Alex continues, then raises an eyebrow before clearing her throat and adding,

“and Shadow Helper.”

“WHAT?” You spit out, along with your drink. You cough, and Lena pats your back so you can calm down. You still choke when you speak. “I made the list… TWICE?”

“It seems that way.” Alex smiles at you and you almost can’t see her, when Kara throws her arms around your head, squeezing you tight.

“Oh, Rao. I’ve never been prouder in my life.” She manages between her excited sobs, is she crying? “My baby will get two medals!”

“Thanks, momma.” You spit her hair out of your mouth.

“Congratulations, babygirl.” Lena gets in the hug too, you guess, by another pair of arms around your waist. “Guess Shadow Helper is a hero after all.” She adds, with a little bit of bitterness in her voice, and you know she means to badger Alex for calling you a vigilante.

“How?” Jamie says, and both of your moms let go of you so you can look at her. You try to fix your hair. “How are you getting two medals?”

“Umm, ‘cause I’m awesome?” You feel the need to defend yourself, although you do wonder how the hell you of all people are getting so recognized.

“Yeah, duh.” She agrees. “I mean, how will both Superkid and Shadow Helper be there at the same time to get their medals?”

“Oh.”

That’s a good question, indeed. Something you didn't consider at all. Still, with all the worrisome this question brings, you’re glad Jamie didn’t mean how you of all people could be deserving of two medals, when more important heroes like Supergirl herself only got one.

“Don’t worry about it.” Alex says, getting you out of your thoughts. “We’ll work on something. An emergency that would require your help, maybe?”

“Wait, the Shadow suit… You can’t really see who’s inside.” Lena adds on your side, and you agree with your head.

“That’s true. Ideally both Shadow and Super would be there.” You look around on the table. You had your growth spurt, so you are a lot taller than most of the people sitting here. “Um, godmother, would you?”

“Oh, me? Really?” Sam bites her lips, clearly thinking this wouldn’t go this way and that you wouldn’t end up needing her of all people to impersonate a superhero.

“Just, you know, height wise.” You give her a pleading, forced smile.

“I can do it!” Jamie says with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. “I can wear heels and besides, no one ever saw a thing about Shadow, right?”

“Yeah,” Kara agrees. “And she will, you know, kind of disappear in a bit.”

“I will?” You furrow your brows. Then it dawns you, her comment from a few days ago. No, no, no. Don’t say it out loud. Don’t say it in front of everyone.

“Superkid as well.” Kara puts her hand on your shoulder and gives everyone a big grin. “It’s time she becomes…”

“Something’s burning!” You get up from the table and run out of the dining room and into the kitchen.

That’s a lie. There’s nothing burning. You don’t think there’s even something on the oven to burn. Well, you better do it yourself, then.

“Don’t even think about it.” Alex walks in the kitchen and sees you with a pan in your hands. Oops.

“I was saving you!” You try, earning a chuckle and an eye roll in response.

“Kiddo, you ran out of there so fast; I was scared you were going to stop in Gotham.”

“Shit.” You mumble under your breath. “Do you think they all-”

“Noticed? I’m gonna go with yes on that one.” Alex comes closer, leaning on the counter in front of you. “Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

“No, it’s-” Then you think a little bit about it. “You know what? Yeah. I should talk to you. You didn’t want momma to become Supergirl and you don’t think I'm a hero, so maybe you have all the reasons why I shouldn’t take Supergirl’s name.”

“Wow, wow, wait a minute there. There are a lot of incorrect information in those sentences.” You raise an eyebrow at her. “Don’t go Lena on me.” She says about the eyebrow, and you smile. “I think you’re an awesome hero! The best!”

“Oh please, what about the whole ‘if you don’t work with the government you’re a vigilante’? Huh? That sure didn’t feel like you think I’m a hero at all.” You cross your arms. Guess you were bitter about it, and this came up as soon as you had the chance to. Oh, well.

“That wasn’t me! That was Director Danvers!” You can’t help another eyebrow raise. “I couldn’t be prouder of you, kiddo.”

“Please, aunt Alex, just be honest. You don’t think I could be Supergirl. It’s ok, really. Just give me the reasons why.”

“I think you would be an amazing Supergirl. And I’ll love to be on your side to help you with it.” Alex moves closer, holding your hand. “I’ve always known you would become Supergirl.”

“Yeah, well, that was always momma’s idea for a retirement plan, wasn’t it?”

“Not because of that.” She squeezes your hand, gently. “I’ve watched you grow into this strong, smart woman. You’ve done so much as Shadow Helper, and even more as Superkid. You’re a teen who’s getting two medals of recognition for your wonderful work. What makes you more deserving to have the Supergirl name than that?”

“I don’t know. I was hoping you would tell me.”

“I’ll tell you one thing,” Alex breathes out, like she is holding the biggest truth she’s ever spoken. “It’s hard. When you find that thing that makes you, you. And you feel that’s going to change the rest of your life. And you’re just trying to make sense of it all, and it sounds so complicated.”

You look up to her, and you wonder if she’s talking from experience.

“I’m just- What I’m trying to say, kiddo, is that you’re not alone.” Your aunt’s eyes are full of tears, and you notice you too are trying to keep yours inside. “You will never be alone. You were born to be exceptional, with or without powers, with or without this big brain of yours.” She pokes your head, and you smile at her. “So don’t hold back. Don’t do what other people expect you to. If you don’t want to be Supergirl, that���s ok. Tell Kara that this is not what you want for your life, and she’ll understand. But honey, don’t ask me to tell you why you don’t deserve it or why you shouldn’t be who you already are.”

You don’t know what you say. You think you’ve never had a bigger truth bomb dropped at you than this one. Is that what you’re doing? You’re waiting on people to tell you why you don’t deserve the Supergirl name just because you don’t feel worthy of it?

“Think about it.” Alex kisses your head, like one of your moms would do, and slips back into the dining room, leaving you alone in the kitchen.

“I should-” You hear Kara’s voice.

“Maybe Lena.” Alex stops her, and no longer than a minute later, your mom walks into the kitchen. You’re still in the exact same place as Alex left you, with so much on your mind, you miss Lena’s question the first time.

“Hey.” She touches your face, trying to make you come back from your own mind. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” You breathe out. Not fine. “Just a little surprised with, you know, the two medals I’m supposed to be getting.”

“Why? Superkid saved the world a few times.” Lena pulls you into a hug. “And I heard Shadow Helper assisted the police with catching one of the biggest drug dealers in the city, and more.”

“They both did that. You’re right.”

“Oh, I know. I’m always right.” Lena kisses your head, holding your hand. “Come on, let’s have dinner. You can worry about how you’re going to get both medals later.”

Turns out, it all worked out just fine. Shadow was never seen, and with your suit Jamie is unrecognizable. So she’s getting the medal for you, and you’re dressed in a new Superkid suit Lena had just made for you.

The suit feels weird. Tight. Limiting. And at the same time, empty. It doesn’t feel like yours anymore. You try to fake it with your smile, but the sweat on your forehead doesn’t lie.

“To Superkid.” You hear and break out of your thoughts. “A medal for helping the Superfriends save National City, whenever she was needed. Showing that heroism doesn’t come with age, but with heart.”

A medal is put around your neck, and you smile at it, while Kara throws her arms around you, looking as proud as she possibly could.

“To Shadow Helper.” You hear next. “Even though no one has ever seen your face, you’ve given hope for the people in National City, and the world. You are proof that no job is small enough, and that real heroes help whoever needs it.”

Your smile grows even bigger, while a medal is put around Jamie’s neck. You like those words. No job is small enough, and heroism doesn’t come with age. That’s 100% you.

You look at your mom in the audience, with tears in her eyes, and a big smile on her lips. Kara doesn’t even have to say anything for you to know how proud she feels. Then you meet Alex’s eyes. She gives you a small nod.

She doesn’t have to say a word. You see it all in her loving eyes and supporting nod. She is there for whatever you decide to do next, because she thinks you’re deserving of it all.

You let out a breath, and your most truthful smile comes to yourself. You are deserving of these medals, you are deserving of the Super name, and no one needs to tell you this. You feel it in your soul.

Let the future come. You’re ready for it, especially because you know that your family and friends will be there to support you along the way.

[galacticlamps]

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

[adsosfraser]

The Stone’s Toll - Chapter Eight

Read on AO3

“Tante Jenny! There is a rider near the gate!” Fergus shouted through the front doorway and sprinted away.

His dirk was poised in his grasp, ready to protect against any danger. The mule sauntered through the archway and snorted when its rider pulled against the reins to stop. 

 Claire slid off the horse and slammed into Fergus almost immediately. She gathered his body up against hers into a hug and rested her chin over the small curls that were growing even longer than before atop his head. 

“M-milady?” He stared, dumbfounded at the sight. 

 “Oh my Fergus, I’ve missed you so much my darling boy.” She smoothed the hair at the back of his head. Her tears fell unbidden into the little brown waves and began to soak through his hair like a steady rainfall. Fergus didn’t mind, he was also soaking her dress with his own tears. 

 “You have been restored maman.” He stated, still shocked. It didn’t pass her notice what he called her.

 “I love you mon fils. Let me look at you.” She pulled back slightly from the embrace to hold onto his cheeks with her hands. She brushed the hair that was on his forehead back and noticed the subtle changes of the boy. The bones of his face were slightly more defined and he had lost more of the roundness associated with adolescence. She even spotted two hairs on his upper lip that were darker and thicker than the soft downy hairs of the rest of his face. It would be years until it would fully develop into a beard, but she could tell what a handsome man Fergus would be. He just needed to do some more growing.

 She slowly noticed the pallor of his face and the dark purple and red hues under his eyes. The way the flesh of his bone was practically nonexistent. He clearly wasn’t getting substantial meals these days. She placed the back of her hand against his forehead again and her heart skipped in fear at the blazing temperature of it. 

 “Dear God, Fergus, you're burning up.”

 “Do not worry Milady. It’s only the winter sickness.” 

 There was a bulk inside the sleeve of his shirt and she pulled back the fabric to see Jenny’s attempt to bandage him. A long deep gash split through the skin of his inner arm. The skin around the wound was red and swollen, and she could see the tell tale signs of infection from the puss oozing from the centre.

 “What on earth happened to you Fergus?” 

 “Tis simply a scratch, Milady, dinna fash.” He tried to mimic his Scottish family’s accent, and if Claire’s concern wasn’t in overdrive at the moment, she would have laughed at how cute the boy was. “Milord said I was a brave lad that day. And braw.” He beamed with confidence and pride.

 “I’m sure you were.” She hugged him tight into her side. “Come inside, I need to examine your wound.” 

 “Fergus what stray ha’ ye brought in today? We dinna need more mouths to feed, especially wi’ young Jamie in his sickbed now too.” Jenny called around the corner of the kitchen, fixated on chopping the potatoes for supper. 

 “Auntie, Milady has returned to us.” He beamed, leading her inside on his arm. “I always told you she would.”

 The knife Jenny was holding clattered onto the floor. She crossed herself as all the colour drained from her cheeks. 

 “Blessed Michael defend us.” Her hand clutched at her heart. 

 “Jenny- I.” What words could she possibly say now? “It’s so good seeing you again.” She stared down where Jenny was protectively holding her middle. “A fourth?” 

 “Thank Christ yer here. We dinna have time to waste.” And without a single inquiry over her return, Jenny dragged her up the stairs to the children’s room. 

 The children were all tucked tightly into their beds. Wee Kitty gurgled in her Bassinet. Her small breaths were interrupted by sharp whimpers of pain. Claire’s heart fell at the somber scene before her. 

 “Ian?”

 “That useless, floppy-haired nonce can bide.” 

 “Fergus go fetch some water to boil, and lots of clean cloth. Do we have deer or chicken bone to boil?”

 “Aye.”

 “Great, can you make a broth out of it with whatever vegetables we have? Oh and um-” Her brain paused, racking her memory for the proper words. “Garlic or Rosemary too. They won’t be able to stomach any solid foods for a while, so they’ll need to sip on broth to keep their strength up.” 

 Jenny left for the door but paused near Claire. She squeezed her shoulder. “I dinna ken how yer here, or where ye’ve been these past months, but I am glad to have ye back. Just know I’m going to have some choice words wi’ ye once they all heal.”

 “I’d imagine you would.” Claire smiled brightly and planted a kiss on her cheek. “I missed you too Jenny.”

 Once she had situated the children in the sick room. She brought Fergus along with her to inspect the gash across his arm. 

 “You never did tell me.” 

 “It was a bayonet, from a redcoat. I was holding wee Kitty and they thought she was a sack of grain so they lunged for me. I protected her maman.” He grinned with pride at the memory. 

 “Oh God, Fergus.” She embraced him, careful of his arm. “Though that never should have happened, I’m proud of what you did. My brave boy.” She patted his hair affectionately. “How long ago were they here?”

 “Less than a fortnight maman. A week after they were gone, les enfantés were struck with la petite vérole.” 

 “Those bastards!” They had not only brought fear, pain, and strife into her home- Jenny’s home, she corrected herself, they had brought their disease as well and the threat that carried. 

 She returned her attention to his arm and carefully cleansed it. Jenny had brought alcohol down for her and she told Fergus to be prepared for the sting. He assured her he wasn’t afraid. With the puss and dried blood removed, she carefully poked around the wound. Claire asked if any of it was painful but he immediately gritted out a non. It wasn’t healing on its own and she was concerned. She couldn’t stitch it up with the infection she assumed was waging a war inside it, so all she could do was wrap it in clean cloth every few hours with garlic paste. When Claire went up to the Laird’s room to check on Ian, her breath quickened and her hands became slick with sweat. Ian insisted he didn’t need any coddling and he didn’t want to see his wife up there until he was healthy. Jenny and her worked simultaneously together to heal young Jamie, Maggie, Kitty, their father, and Fergus. They were thankful for the snow to help bring down fever, but also cursed the season for bringing sickness in the first place. Ian sprang back instantly and returned to work on the farm the next morning. Maggie and Kitty were worried for the scars left by the smallpox lesions, but Claire assured them they wouldn’t be terrible. It had spared their faces, and only a small amount of red dots lined their arms. Jamie was proud to add more scars onto his list, and proud to say he fought the monster and won.

 When her nephew and niece's fevers began to break, Fergus took a turn for the worse. She had prayed that the smallpox would pass over him, but it came back with a vengeance. The infection from the bayonet wound and the virus coupled together, left Claire severely worried. 

 She worked tirelessly with Jenny by her side. Never once did she leave Fergus’ room and her sister had begun to worry about her as she simply stared blankly off towards the wall clutching the sickly boy’s hand in hers. Jenny had found her in such a state many times, as if her mind wandered off but she didn’t want to bring it up. When no one was looking, Claire would open the small case of vials and a syringe from her leather travel bag. Fergus didn’t notice the slight pinch of the needle to his rear and grumbled no complaint to her in his delirious state. The Reverend couldn’t smuggle much medicine, most of what he pilfered was what had been discarded behind the hospital in a dumpster. But this small amount of penicillin he had managed, made Claire want to reach out through the veil of time and kiss him in thanks. 

 The infection was healing nicely, but there was still the smallpox coursing through his body. With his body pulled between fighting two foreign enemies, his energy was quickly fading into a weakened state. 

 “Claire, it’s time. We have the certificate ready. I’ve sent the priest down from the kirk to-”

 “No! I will not give up on my son!” She yelled with such ferocity, that Jenny stumbled back a few steps. None of the anger seeped through to the limp hand of Fergus that she was holding, and she kissed it gently while her body shook with rage at the suggestion. 

 “If the lad doesna earn his last rites, dinna say it was my fault.” Jenny slipped away to care for her now rambunctious children, who had bounced back from their sickness immediately. 

 That night, she never slept, and took up her usual spot beside his bed. It would get worse, before it got better. Claire was elated at the signs that his fever would soon break. 

 “Would you like me to tell you a story?”

 “Mmm.” 

 “Well, there once was a brave knight. He found a faerie at the bottom of the standing stones, and knew right away that she was his. He loved her, and protected her fiercely. They were blessed with three beautiful brave children. Two angels, and one son of their heart.” Somehow it was easier for her to pretend she was speaking about someone else. “There was a great evil that the knight had to vanquish. It was-“ She pursed her lips in thought. “It was threatening their angel babies, so the knight had to leave his faerie and guard their daughters in heaven. The faerie returned to protect her son.”

 Fergus while laid fevered and asleep. Claire smoothed back the crusty hair from his forehead sticky with sweat. “Je t'aime mon fils. Être fort.  Je sais que vous êtes.” Fergus stirred slightly. 

 “Je t’aime maman.” His smile and voice were weak. 

 She kissed his forehead and he slumped back into his slumber. 

 Jenny stood in the doorway smiling, on the verge of tears at the sight. It felt such a personal moment between mother and son, that she didn’t want to interrupt. But when Claire lapsed into silence, she took a tentative step into the room. 

 “The worst of it is over.” Jenny said, both as statement and question. 

 “Yes.” 

 “Good, now we can talk sister.” 

 “Yes, I believe we should.” 

 “Why- why’d ye leave my brother? I’ve kent ye well over these past few years, and I’d

never imagine that you’d just give him up so willingly. Ye’d die wi’ him if it came to it.” 

 “He made me promise that- well we knew how Culloden would end up, everyone could 

feel how much of a defeat it would be. He forced me to-“ Her brain felt muddled, keeping track of all the half-truths in her mind. “board a boat to France for the safety of our child.” Tears sprung into her eyes at that admission and her hand extended from her stomach absentmindedly, as if she was holding her belly at six months, the furthest she had been in either of her pregnancies. “Red Jamie couldn’t escape the fate of Culloden but his wife the Stuart Witch could, no one would recognise me. But I- I came back for Fergus and you, Ian, your children. I know that’s what he would’ve wanted. I just wish I knew, if he really-”

 “Ye eejit he isna dead! That dunderheid is holed up in a cave somewhere on these lands, 

grieving ye terribly.”

 “He’s- he’s alive?” A lump formed in her throat. “I didn’t want to hope that-“ 

 “Why on earth would ye think he’s dead! If ye had written letters to us. To let us ken ye 

were safe, we’d tell your daft arse to come back home! But of course, ye couldna spare us that much mind.” 

 “I’m sorry Jenny, I wasn’t in a safe place to send you letters. A man wanted to marry 

me.” Yes, years ago. “After I lost- he put me in an asylum when I refused his advances. I had to escape him after I lost-“ Jenny’s expression softened and she nodded, not in understanding, but in acceptance of what she had done. It didn’t do well to dwell on the past for too long. 

 “Well ye seem dead on yer feet, I’ll go take out all this anger on Ian.” Claire chuckled 

and then kissed Jenny’s cheek. “Wi’ him out and healthy again, the Laird’s room will be free enough but I dinna want ye to be lying in that sickbed so soon.” 

 “It’s yours now.” 

 “Ye ken Jamie and ye will always be Laird and Lady to the tenants. And no, Ian and I

occupy the same room we have fer years. I just stuck him in the Laird’s room because I was irritated at him groaning and shivering in our bed.” 

 Claire laughed, but felt bad for poor Ian who had unknowingly become the subject of 

Jenny’s ire these past few days. 

 She was in the courtyard, while Jamie made his way back to Lallybroch. A deer slung over his shoulders and buckets of water weighed down his arms. He took in the sight of his wife and nearly fainted. The buckets he had carried dropped to the ground with a snap and rolled across the yard. The stiff deer slumped to the ground over the mud. 

 It was the first word he had croaked in months, “Sassenach.” The sound didn’t reach her ears but she could read off his lips the endearment she knew all too well.

 Even with Jenny’s confirmation, she couldn’t believe the apparition before her. But could she have imagined him this way? Haggard and weary from months living in a cave. A bonnet slanted across his red hair to hide the bold colour. His beard had grown considerably from the scruff she was so familiar with. But the thing she couldn’t possibly imagine in her head was the haunted look on his face. The dark circles under his eyes and the gaunt nature of his face echoed his grief.  

 “No I’m. This isn’t- the after effects of the electroshock therapy” she mumbled. 

 She felt woozy, and her head was full of fluffy clouds. She regained her balance swiftly but stared unwavering at Jamie. His heart chilled, as if she was staring straight through his soul, but couldn’t see it. 

 “Claire I dinna ken what ye’re saying lass.”

 She gasped at his hand on her forearm. “You’re real.” 

 “And so are ye. Christ when Jenny told me to get my hide back here, I dinna ken it was really true.” She fell into him and he wrapped his strong arms across her back. 

 “Oh, God. Jamie. Oh God.” Claire’s breath rattled onto his cheek. “Just hold me.”

 She trembled in his arms, months of exhaustion, fear, pain, and heartache expressing themselves. 

 “I’m sorry Jamie. I’m so sorry. I - the stones.” 

 “What’re you apologising for lass?” He choked out. “Claire -the bairn?” She couldn’t meet his eyes. 

 She felt the need to run and hide as she did in the arbor of Fontainebleau. She didn’t want to face what was before her, what was behind. How could she let Jamie forgive her when she couldn’t herself? As if she were putting a sheet of metal between her and her heart, she suddenly felt nothing. 

 “She’s dead.” She said simply, staring at a chipped stone on the ground. 

 This time Jamie did collapse, and took Claire tumbling down to his lap. They held tight to one another, and Claire was the one to comfort him now. His tears soaked the wool of her bodice as he rocked them back and forth on the steps. When his eyes couldn’t produce anymore tears, he slowly peeked out of his shell. Jamie rose slowly from his spot on the steps when the sun crawled below the horizon and carried her with him to the Laird’s room. 

 Claire stripped him down to his sark and was prepared to ask for water, when she saw someone had already completed the task. She resumed her task and shed his final layer, exposing his naked body. It was filthy and covered in scratches, but beautiful to her all the same. When she began to direct him into the washing tub, he objected and began to take off her clothes with a practiced hand. As he reached for the final string of her shift, she moved his hand away. 

 “No, tonight I bathe you.” 

 She pushed him down into the small tub and his knees poked out of the water. The ewer sat on the wooden table near the tub, and she plucked it up with her fingers. She grabbed a sponge as well, and began her ministrations, leaning over the lip of the tub to reach him. She grabbed some scissors as well, trimming the beard that had grown over the months in the woods. 

 “Can ye ever forgive me?” A dejected Jamie asked. 

 “For what?” She knew, but she wanted to hear the words coming from him. 

 “For sending you through those stones, for breaking our family.” 

 “I already have.” 

 “What did she- Was she like her sister?” 

 “I don’t know.” Claire worried at her lip. “I- um. I lost her when I went through the stones. I only know she was a girl, because I felt her presence when I came back. She said she loves us.” She began to scrub harder against Jamie’s arm with the sponge to distract herself. 

 The pang in his chest nearly brought his head below surface of the water. All the air in his lungs fled and he was left with nothing. He stopped Claire’s arm and brought her hand to his, squeezing it tight. 

 “Will you ever forgive me?” 

 “Fer what lass?”

 “Not being strong enough. Not protecting her in the one way I could. Not returning to you soon enough.” 

 “I’ve already forgiven ye for anything ye could ever possibly do. And yer not to blame for any of those.” 

 “Then you’re not either. If there is, it’s God for being a cruel bastard. You say you can forgive me for anything, but I’m not sure I can give you what we want anymore.” 

 “What I want is you by my side. Come in the water Sassenach, let me hold my wife. Let me carry this burden wi’ ye.” 

 With the dim light of the fire and candles dotting the room, she was confident he wouldn’t be able to see her body fully. She slugged out of her shift, weighed down by weeks of exhaustion and crawled in between his legs. Water splashed out of the top of the tub, but they paid it no mind. Jamie repeated the ministrations Claire had provided for him, but even more gently on her smooth skin. When she began to doze off tucked safely between his thighs in the water, they were both wrinkly like prunes. Jamie carried her body wrapped tight around his, and placed her on the fresh sheets. 

 He held her naked on their bed. The smooth skin of her back was pressed against the soft tufts of hair on his chest. They needed to talk, but for now, neither wanted to leave the warm bubble of each other’s arms. Jamie was still processing what it all meant, and so was Claire, even after months of enduring it herself. No words could repair the loss they both felt, and the heartache of time spent apart. It would just feel like a hollow repetition of events after their first born. But tonight they would just simply be. Claire looked down at her sleeping husband. For the first time in months, she felt safe. She lightly traced the skin of his face, from temple to cheek, and saw the familiar smile ghost his peaceful rest. She spread a grin in response, the first one that reached her eyes in months.

[scapegrace74-blog]

Ginger Snap, Chapter 3

A/N  And just like that, here’s another chapter of Ginger Snap.  This one has no Chef!Jamie (at least not in person, but he is the invisible third presence in the room) but read it anyway!  He’ll be back in the next chapter, I promise.

Previous chapters are best enjoyed on my Ao3 page, because I have a bad habit of going back and editing them after they’ve been posted.

I appraised my reflection in a plate glass window.  Today was my thirtieth birthday.  I’d spent most of the day at a fancy salon having assorted hairs waxed, plucked and uncoiled.   Twenty minutes in the capricious October wind, and my sleek hairstyle was on the verge mutiny.  I smoothed it down as best I could with my palms, mentally shrugged my shoulders, then entered the upscale restaurant.

“Happy birthday, darling.”  Frank left a dry kiss on my cheek, careful to not mar my make-up, as he greeted me.  “You look very beautiful with your hair straight like that.”

It was clear why Frank had chosen the Witchery for my birthday celebration.  Nestled against Edinburgh Castle, it radiated history with its dark woods, tapestry-covered walls, burgundy banquettes and faux Tudor painted ceiling.  Everywhere crystal and silverware reflected the bountiful candlelight.  I pictured Jamie’s thick-soled work boots striding across the antique Persian carpets towards the kitchen and had to suppress a giggle.

Frank stood respectfully while the maître d’ pulled out my chair.  He played the part of the genteel academic to a tee.  Ten years’ my senior, he sported thick-framed glasses, a full head of dark hair and a trim figure that spoke more to abstemious habits than vigorous exercise.  Still, he was wearing his best tailored suit and the tie I’d bought him for Christmas.  I reminded myself that I was lucky to be in a relationship with a decent, courteous and dependable man who offered me the stability my tumultuous childhood had been sadly lacking.

We conversed quietly as we each perused the leather-bound menus, the noise of other diners a discrete background hum.  Frank told me all about the history of the sixteenth century oak panels that lined the room, and I listened politely.

“It’s so refreshing to see an establishment buck the trend of those horrendous open-style kitchens,” he pronounced with a dramatic shudder.

“Oh, I don’t know.  I rather enjoy watching the orchestrated chaos that goes into making my meal.  It’s like dinner theatre,” I contradicted.

“Some things are better appreciated unseen, darling.  It’s like that gaudy museum we visited in Paris.  Ductwork and elevator shafts on display along with the art.  It’s tremendously distracting, and not at all the point.”

He was referring to our visit to the Pompidou Centre the previous summer.  I had found the juxtaposition of modern art and naked architecture fascinating.   Frank much preferred the Louvre.

I was saved from having to defend my opinion by the arrival of our waiter.  Using a well-manicured fingernail to indicate his choices, Frank ordered for us both.

“The lady will have your Grand Cru Mambourg.  I’ll start with a Lagavullin 16, and proceed to the Chambolle-Musigny with my main course,” he said with conviction.

“Very good, sir.”  The waiter collected the enormous wine menu and decamped, having failed to even look me in the eye.  A little ember of resentment glowed in my belly.

“How did you know what wine to order when I haven’t told you what I’ve chosen as my main course?” I challenged once the waiter was out of earshot.

Frank looked perplexed, as though we were acting in a play and I’d suddenly said the wrong lines after countless perfect dress rehearsals.

“It’s your birthday, darling.  You always get lobster for your birthday.”

I thought about this.  He wasn’t wrong.   I liked lobster.  The first time we celebrated together in Boston, on my twenty-fifth birthday, it had felt like a sophisticated, grown-up choice.  But I never intended for it to become my only option.

The rest of the meal passed without event.  Frank was more animated than usual, reaching across the table to caress my hand twice and joking that his Angus steak tartare appetizer made him feel like a veritable red-blooded carnivore.

Once our plates were cleared Frank cleared his throat and squared his shoulders in a way that reminded me of the day he announced that we would be moving to Edinburgh.  Now what? I wondered.

“Claire.  Darling.  I think you know how happy you make me, and how delighted I am that we’re building this new life together back in the UK.  Your thirtieth birthday is such a special occasion, and I think it’s fitting that we mark it with something momentous.”

He reached across the table and took my left hand in his right.  His skin was cool and dry against my oddly numb palm.  I considered whether I might be going into cardiac arrest.  My heart felt untethered in my chest, leaping towards my throat and then plunging into my gut.  I concentrated on taking short, sipping breaths so that I didn’t regurgitate lobster all over the pristine white table linens.

Frank continued, unaware of my turmoil.  “I’d like us to be married within the year.  That way, our children will be born before you enter the high-risk years.  A late-spring wedding sounds lovely, don’t you think?”

He looked at me expectantly, so it must be my turn to speak.  The problem was I couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

“I’m sorry, are you asking me to marry you?” I managed to ask around my stomach, which had joined my heart in my throat.

Frank chuckled.  “Of course I am, darling.  Isn’t this what we always planned?”

Strictly speaking, it was what Frank had always planned.  He’d certainly never made any secret of the fact that matrimony and a family were what he saw in our future.  So why was I blind-sided?  It felt as though I had been driving a practical four-door sedan with an excellent crash test rating at highway speed, only to suddenly realize that nothing happened when I pumped the brakes.

I said the next thing that came into my malfunctioning brain.

“What about my licensing exams?”

“There really won’t be time, darling.  Planning a wedding is a full-time job in itself, from what I hear.   We need to get moving if we’re to have two children.  You aren’t getting any younger, you know.”

I nodded weakly as though this made some kind of sense.  Frank took the gesture as silent acceptance of his hyper-practical proposal, clapping his hands together in delight in a way that made me jump.

“Marvelous.  Now, I know that you’re very particular about jewelry, so I thought it best that we shop for a ring together.  But I wouldn’t dream of celebrating your special day without giving you something tangible.  Happy birthday, Claire.”

He pulled an envelope from his inside jacket pocket and slid it across the table.  My fingers trembled and twitched as I tried to open the seal.  Inside was a certificate printed with a familiar logo.   I looked at Frank in shock.  How did he know?

“I know how much you want to learn to cook.  This place has an excellent reputation, despite their ridiculous name.  They offer group lessons, but only at their location in Leith.  I suppose the rent is cheaper there, but clearly that was out of the question.  Fortunately, I was able to arrange something more suitable with the owner, so you’ll be learning at home from a private chef!”

At that moment our waiter reappeared carrying a bowl of dark, rich-looking pudding.  As he placed it on the table in front of me, the spicy vapours of whisky assaulted my nose.  With a flourish, the waiter extracted a long-handled lighter and ignited the liquor.  Through the ensuing burst of purple flame, Frank’s familiar features transformed into something far more sinister.

[ohsnapcracklepopfriends]

Here it is friends. Part one of my Taylor-Swift-nostalgia induced carraville fic. I will be writing a short part two but I figured I’d get this up now and it could be read on its own at this point. I haven’t proof read it so please excuse any mistakes but I hope you enjoy!

Jamie undid his tie. It was a plaid tie, blue instead of red to suggest his neutrality. It was a good day or at least it should’ve been. Liverpool beat Everton two to one, he’d had a good show (no one was harassing him on Twitter yet and Gary had made a few mistakes, Jamie thought that qualified a pretty good show), and he had a date at eleven. He should be fucking buzzing but Jamie just feels the idle hum of numbness. Even the five-goal thriller that was their first game of the night hadn’t got his heart pumping like it used to. 

Gary walked in silently, startling Jamie who quickly pulled on a jumper. Not that his state of dress mattered, Gary’s eyes stayed glued to the floor. He walked to the far corner of the dressing room to change out of his suit, as far away from Jamie as possible.  He hadn’t said a word to Jamie all night when the cameras weren’t rolling. It hurt. Especially when Gary was so good at acting like everything was fine when the commercial break ended. He even fooled Jamie a few times.

Kelly knocked on the door, making sure they were both decent, before walking in to say goodnight. Jamie watched as Gary smiled at Kelly, as he laughed with her about something. Jamie used to do that: make Gary laugh. Kelly turns her attentions to Jamie. She compliments him on his interview tonight and asks him where he and Tom are going for their date. 

“It’s quite late,” she comments, “you can’t really be going to dinner.” Jamie give her a fake laugh. 

“I’ve got a reservation and everything Kells. We’re going to that new vegan place. He’s picking me up.” You heard that right: vegan. Because on top of everything, Tom fucking cared about animals and the environment. Jamie wasn’t complaining too much, though. He could suffer through some tofu if it meant not having to go to Gary and his old haunts. 

“Ooh!” Kelly said, “do I get to meet him? Redknapp keeps talking about how lovely he is, I figure I could judge for myself.” Ah, yes, Redders. Running into Redders had been an accident. They managed to bump into him at the golf course the week before. Tom was good at golf, unlike Redders, as much as he tried to be. Tom gave him a few pointers, helping Redders fix his posture for his swings. They ended up playing a whole round together while Jamie played ping-pong with an eight-year-old girl in the clubhouse. Redders hadn’t shut up about how Tom’s wonderfulness and his perfect swing since. Jamie nodded at Kelly. He figured he couldn’t do any more damage. 

The three of them stood in the parking lot waiting for Tom’s car to pull in. He wasn’t late of course, he never is, they just got out earlier than anticipated. Gary had tried to skitter off to his car but Kelly practically dragged him back up on the curb. Gary, despite trying to put on an agreeable face, looked about as miserable as Jamie felt. Jamie thought he was slightly better at hiding it though. 

At 10:59 Tom’s blue Volkswagen pulled in. One minute early. He wore a nice checked shirt with the first few buttons undone. His hair and shirt were miraculously crisp and clean after a full day of work. He looked like a fucking god with his symmetrical face, sharp bone structure, and straight nose. Kelly certainly took note of that. “Our Carra is a lucky man!” She whispered before going over to Tom to introduce herself. Tom shook her hand and complimented her dress which, to be fair, was a very nice floral pattern. 

Tom stuck his hand out for Gary to shake. “Hello Gary, my name’s Tom. It’s nice to meet you.” Gary takes a minute to collect himself and takes Tom’s outstretched hand giving it a firm shake. 

“It’s nice to meet you as well.” It sounds remarkably fake, of course it does, but Tom doesn’t seem to notice. He just turns towards Jamie with a perfect smile. 

“You have such lovely friends, Jamie. It was nice to meet you both.” Jamie wasn’t so sure about that but played along and let Tom walk him to the car. Tom opened Jamie’s door for him before walking around to get in himself. He saw Kelly sling an arm around Gary’s shoulders as they drove away. Jamie took a deep breath and remembered it was all for the best. He reminded himself that this was what he wanted: stability. He didn’t want to fight anymore. The words Gary had said that night still rung in his ears. He was sure his own snarls were not forgotten either. 

It started to rain as they parked but Tom had an umbrella. Gary never had an umbrella. You’d think that living in Manchester he’d learn to at least keep one in his car. Instead, he resorted to sprinting away from the rain as fast as he could trying to avoid the rain, he wasn’t as fast as he used to be. But Tom was prepared, he always was. He held the umbrella for the both of them as they walked around to the front of the restaurant. 

“James, try the torte it’s quite delicious.” Jamie hated being called James. Absolutely hated it. Not when Gary said it though. His stupid manc accent stretched the vowels into velvet. When Gary said it he felt special. Tom’s polished London accent made him feel posh, pretentious, and twatty. James. Ugh. It was like the word torte. It’s a fucking cake, just call it what it is. Jamie took a bite of the torte. It was good if you ignored the aftertaste of soya in the frosting, a little dry, but Jamie nodded his head like it was an orange mcflurry. He let Tom finish the dessert. 

They’re in the car. Tom’s dropping Jamie off at his apartment. Tom must have noticed that Jamie had been quiet and switched the topic to something a little more in his wheelhouse: football. They were talking about England and possible squads for the upcoming international break. Tom started talking about moving Kyle Walker into midfield and Jamie couldn’t take it. 

“That’s bollocks. Where is the one place on the field where we actually have players? Fucking midfield. Gareth’s drowning in defenders but not experienced ones. Playing Walker in midfield fucking undermines Henderson and leaves the young centrebacks overexposed.” Tom laughs for some reason. Jamie doesn’t find it funny.

“Well, you would certainly know.” This is what you want, he reminds himself again. Peace, calm, stability. This is happiness. But, fuck, Jamie missed Gary. He missed the challenge. He missed the little crease between Gary’s eyes. He missed Gary’s squeaky voice when he gets worked up. He missed fighting and bickering with Gary over things that didn’t matter. He missed screaming at Gary and Gary screaming back. He missed the really hot sex they’d have after such screaming matches, making Gary scream in a different, more satisfying way. He missed Gary’s laugh, his smile. It seemed to Jamie that neither of them have smiled much since that day. Jamie thought that smiling didn’t seem worth it if Gary wasn’t smiling back. 

Jamie checked his phone. It was nearing 1 am. He had a handful of messages from Kelly. Jamie didn’t want to read about how great she thought Tom was, he fucking knew that Tom was great. On paper, he was fucking perfect. The perfect boyfriend. The dream guy. Not for Jamie though. He dreamed of an angry, passionate, crazy, wonderful manc. He opened his messages anyways though, figuring Tom would want to hear what Kelly thought about him. 

Jamie. I know you’re on your date but we need to talk. Can you call me? It’s about Gaz. The first one read.

He’s at mine. Really upset. He said not to talk to you so I figure you know what’s going on. That sounded about right. Kelly caring more about Gary’s well being than Gary himself. Gary was too stubborn to care. 

Call me please. The last one read. Fuck. They’d made a mess of things. Not only had they made a mess of themselves, but they’d also dragged the others into it. 

“Can you pull into that park up there?” Jamie asked Tom. He nodded and turned down the radio, waiting for Jamie to say something more. He didn’t though. Not until he got out of the car and puked some partially digested salad in the grass. Tom came over to him and rested his palm on Jamie’s mid back. Gary used to pet his hair, carding his fingers through it, on those mornings after he’d had a little too much to drink. 

Jamie laid on his back in the middle of the parking lot. The rain soaked through his thin shirt in seconds. Tom looked down at him concerned. “I can’t do this, Tom. You’re so lovely. I mean you’re so fucking lovely but I just can’t—”

“I get it, James. You’re still in love with him.” The bastard still looked perfect even drenched with rain. Jamie guessed that he probably looked like a drowned rat. Jamie must have been giving him a confused look because he laughed and explained further. “I saw the way you used to look at him on the tele like he’s the fucking sun. I saw the way you looked at him tonight like being around him was tearing you apart. Besides, I’m pretty sure half the nation knew there was something going on there.” Jamie laughed at that. They had been pretty obvious. And not just Gary, apparently. Apparently, he was just as open of a book. He needed to call Kelly. 

She picked up after three rings. “Hi Carra,” she whispered, “needed to get out of the living room, Gaz’s sleeping on my couch.”

“Is he okay?” Jamie asked, not really wanting to hear the answer. 

“He’s a wreck, Jamie. He misses you.” I miss him too, Jamie didn’t say, so much. 

“Can I come round?” Jamie asked. Kelly said yes so long as Jamie can get Gary the hell out of her living room and gave Carra her address. 

Thankfully, Kelly’s place was nearby, about a mile away. Jamie didn’t know where he got the energy considering he was dead on his feet a few minutes before, but he ran there as fast as he possibly could. His water-filled shoes squished loudly with every step. He got there in seven minutes and was panting heavily when he knocked on the door. Kelly let him in wordlessly. 

Gary was still sleeping on the couch when he walked into the living room. Kelly gave him a nod and walked into the kitchen. Jamie kneeled next to Gary and cupped his cheek with his palm. Jamie hadn’t realized how much he’d missed that simple feeling. Gary’s forehead was still crinkled in his sleep. His eyes were dark like he hadn’t slept much. Jamie hadn’t either. It was hard to sleep alone, without Gary’s comforting weight on his chest. Jamie took Gary’s hand from where it was tucked under his chin and intertwined their fingers. The weight of Gary’s hand in his set relief running through Jamie’s body. Gary started to stir at that. 

“James?” Jamie smiles at that. His stupid name sounds beautiful coming from Gary’s mouth. His eyes weren’t even open yet and Gary already knows it’s him. “What are you doing here?” He opened his eyes slightly but upon seeing Jamie they were wide open. Gary’s eyes were red and bloodshot. Jamie just wanted to yank him into his arms and hug him forever. 

“What are you doing here, you muppet? Bothering Kelly at 2 am?” Jamie said playfully. Gary flushed slightly. “Come on, Gaz. Let’s get you home.” He grabbed Gary’s hand to pull him up. Gary stumbled when he tried to take a step. Carra looked down at the empty beer bottles and figured that was why. He grabbed Gary’s arm and slung it over his shoulder. Gary’s head rested in the crook of Jamie’s neck, his soft breathing tickling at the skin there. 

“Kelly,” Jamie called softly into the kitchen, “we’re leaving.” She came out to stand in the doorway in her fluffy, pink bunny slippers that Jamie had somehow not noticed before. Jamie thought he should get Gary a pair. 

“Set an alarm,” she said, “he wakes up early. Don’t let him bolt.” Jamie figured Gary wouldn’t be racing out of his apartment at 5 am with the hangover he was sure to have but it was still a good idea. Gary was an unpredictable, stubborn bastard at times. Jamie thanked her and helped Gary down to his car. 

It was still pouring when they got out of the building because clearly the gods wanted Gary to either sober up or catch his death. Thankfully, in his upset Gary had forgotten to lock the car meaning Carra didn’t have to fumble around for his keys in the current weather. Except, that Gary wouldn’t get into the car. He sprawled his limbs over the door so Jamie couldn’t push him inside. 

“Gary, if you don’t get your arse in that car, I’m going to leave you out here to drown.” Obviously, he wasn’t serious but he figured that Gary might be drunk enough not to know that. Gary just smiled up fondly at him and stayed put. 

“I love you,” he said, looking like the most radiant, beautiful thing Jamie had ever seen in his life. His hair was a mess, stuck down to his forehead. His cheeks were bright red from a mix of alcohol and the cold. His eyes were still red but god they held all the love in the world. Jamie could see that somehow, after everything, Gary still loved him, truly loved him. After all the things he said, screamed, did, this man--this beautiful man--still loved Jamie every ounce as much as Jamie loved him. It didn’t matter what he should want, he wanted Gary and all of his adorable, infuriating flaws. His recipe to happiness was just that: his own. He didn’t need stability, calm, peace. He needed to feel something. 

Jamie cupped his face for the second time that night. He ran his thumb over Gary’s wet, stubbly cheeks. Jamie couldn’t help himself. He kissed Gary with all of the kisses they’d missed in the past two months. The two months of pain, loneliness, desolation. He kissed Gary with all of the love he had in his cold, wet body and Gary did the same. Gary moved slower than Jamie, less frantically but no less enthusiastically. Gary clutched at his jacket like a vice, unwilling to let go. Jamie moved his hands around Gary’s body. He wanted to make sure that everything was still as he remembered it. And it was. Of course, it was. He had Gary in his arms, it didn’t matter that the rain had picked up. Though, he was sure he’d hear about the soggy interior of Gary’s car in the morning. He pulled away reluctantly for breath and rested his forehead against Gary’s.

[andawaywego]

Your fics are my favorite! Could you write one where some guy hitting on Dani too aggressively and won’t leave so Jamie has to step in? Maybe punches him, Dani takes care of her hand after and has a lot of feelings

okay! so i also got a more recent prompt for someone asking for Jamie to defend Dani, so this is for both of you guys. i hope you like it!

(check it out in my prompt collection for a bonus ending written by my hilarious bud, Julia)

..

Growing up, the storybooks always made Dani think that heroes come in suits of armor. Broad-shouldered, tall, handsome strangers who wait for you at the bottom of the tower asking you to let down your hair, give them your heart, just let them save you and they’ll love you forever, promise. And there was something about that she never wanted—she’s never seen herself in that throne room or glass coffin or anywhere else where a princess might need saving.

Because, no. She doesn’t need any saving that she can’t provide for herself. And she knows that. Really, she does.

But then again, she’s never had anyone knock a guy on his ass for her. At least, not until—

_____________________

Rewind.

The last night of Owen’s visit, they go to a bar in Burlington for drinks. It’s not a place they frequent, no, but it’s nearby and always seems busy. Certainly that can’t mean it’s unliked.

And it is nice enough. Clean booths, even if the benches are cracked vinyl, nice enough waitresses, good lighting and, importantly, not too loud. It’s a Friday, so it is fairly packed and it’s late, too, what with them having decided to come last minute after letting Owen cook them one more meal (“You’ll have plenty of leftovers,” he’d said, “so you won’t have to do take-out for a bit”; always trying to take care of them, even when he lives on the other side of the ocean).

He and Jamie are trying to outdrink one another, though neither of them had said this aloud. Dani sits beside her girlfriend, arm around her waist, and watches them fondly as some of Jamie’s beer dribbles down her chin. Somehow, she manages to finish before Owen does, and then she’s slamming her glass back down on the table in front of her, liquid spilling into her lap and Dani laughs.

“Oh my god,” she says, reaching across the table for the napkin holder. “You’re a mess.” She grabs a handful of them and turns Jamie’s head her way, mopping her face up while Jamie smiles and laughs at her own ridiculousness.

Owen stops drinking with just a splash left and sets his own mug down, shaking his head as he makes himself swallow. “I refuse to look like that,” he says, gesturing to her beer-stained flannel. “You win.”

“You refuse to look like what? A winner?” Jamie counters, a triumphant gleam in her eye that makes Dani sort of feel like swooning, even though that’s silly.

“A wet winner,” Dani amends and Jamie must be buzzed because her smirk only gets wider and she wiggles her eyebrows at Dani. “Stop.” Dani pretends to push her away as Jamie darts in quickly to plant a kiss on her cheek. 

“God, stop being so bloody happy,” Owen complains, not an ounce of animosity in his voice or his expression. “You’re making me ill.”

“That’s probably because of the beer you just guzzled down,” Dani tells him and Jamie cackles.

“She’s got your number,” she says. She lifts her hand up then, burping into her fist and then apologizing and Dani rolls her eyes.

Sometimes, it’s a wonder that this is the same woman who could make her weak-kneed with just a look. More than anyone Dani has ever known in her life, Jamie contains multitudes.

“I’m gonna get you two some water,” Dani says, getting up. 

Jamie throws her a happy grin and Owen gives a sincere, “Thank you,” that Dani waves off. She’s only a foot away from the two of them resume their childish bickering. 

Slowly, Dani weaves her way through the other patrons and makes her way to the bar, keeping to herself as much as possible. It isn’t as if she’s been in many, but it seems strange, almost, how the atmosphere of the place can change with the types of people who choose to inhabit it. When they first arrived, the place seemed warm and friendly—lots of clean lines and light greys. A modern-looking chandelier strung above the main tables past the bar. An exposed brick wall beside the booths. Without too many people in it, the space had seemed almost bonhomous. Welcoming.

Now, as the evening grows later and people are getting more and more into their cups, it’s begun to lose some of what made it convivial. 

So she tightens up her posture, holds her shoulders and head higher, and finds an empty space beside the bar to wait while the bartender assists someone else. There’s a song playing from the jukebox in the corner, but she can’t make out any of the words or even tell what key the melody is in. All she can hear is the distant, seemingly random scatter of an asynchronous beat.

“What have I done to deserve this?”

It takes Dani a moment to realize that, despite the phrasing, the question is being asked in relation to her presence. There’s a man sitting on a stool beside where she’s standing and he’s looking at her with dark eyes that make her feel even more on display. He’s smartly dressed, like he’d come to the bar directly from his office, and his tie is loosened around his neck, the top buttons undone in a blatant show of after-hours leisure. 

There’s something to the way he’s looking at her—the parting of his chapped lips—that makes her feel trapped. Makes her heart speed up in her chest.

“Excuse me?” she asks. Wanting to ignore him. Knowing in her heart of hearts that he will likely only persist even if she does.

“What brings a girl like you to a place like this?” he asks, eyes dancing with slight intoxication. Leering at her. 

Dani taps her fingers against the bartop, a quiet prayer of, “Come on, come one, come on,” escaping her lips as she stares down the busy bartender. Wanting a rescue. Wanting a way out.

“Did you hear me?” the man asks, and there’s a quality to his voice now that makes her feel even more on edge than before. 

Dani decides that the best course of action is to simply play dumb. “Sorry?” she asks, turning his way again with a stiff smile. 

He smirks. “I asked what a girl like you is doing in a place like this.”

“Um…” She clears her throat. “Waiting for the bartender.”

“Why don’t you sit down and stay a while.” He gestures at the empty stool beside him. “Let me buy you the next one.”

Dani presses her lips together. Takes a deep breath. “Thank you, but I’m uh...here with people.”

His expression darkens even further somehow. “Boyfriend?” he asks.

Her immediate reaction is to deny it because no. There is no boyfriend. Just her beautiful, silly, and very, very far away girlfriend. But then she thinks of Owen, also with them. Not necessarily intimidating, no, but another man at least. 

She grits her teeth. “Yes, actually. Right over there.” She points to the booth where Owen and Jamie are still talking amongst themselves. The man follows her gaze and stares them down. As he does, Jamie perks up, frowning at the sight of him and catching Dani’s eyes.

If there were a way to send for an SOS, Dani would have done it already. Instead, she has to settle for hoping that, after three years together, Jamie might be able to simply read her mind.

“Him?” the man asks. He turns back around and fixes Dani with a hard look that makes her skin crawl. 

“Yes,” Dani says. “Him.”

“He looks a little busy with your friend, wouldn’t you say?” He leans a little closer, and Dani jumps when she feels his hand touch her waist, trying to pull her in. “Come on, baby. One drink.”

“No, thank you.” Dani pulls away from him, anger flushing up her neck and chest. “And don’t call me that.”

He grips her arm next, a little too tightly, and Dani’s certain her heart is going to pound directly out of her chest. “What?” he asks, showing his teeth in a way that is so, so different than a smile. “Baby?”

Dani wrenches herself out of his grasp and pulls away. “Yes,” she says, a note of slight hysteria tinting the word. “Now—”

“Somethin’ the matter, Poppins?” 

It’s as if her lungs can finally expand when Dani hears Jamie’s voice, feels her warm, gentle hand on her waist. Immediately, she leans into the touch and turns to meet the worried, heated gaze of her girlfriend. She opens her mouth to say something, to ask for Jamie to please, please get her out of here, but she’s cut off by an irritated, “Oh,” coming from the man on the stool.

When she turns, he’s looking between them knowingly, eyes tracing the way Dani has turned herself into Jamie’s touch. 

“I didn’t realize you were one of them,” he spits.

Something hot and panicked shoots through Dani’s chest at his words, like lightning, like a bullet. She feels rather than sees Jamie stiffen beside her, pull herself up to make herself seem taller.

“What’s that?” Jamie asks, teeth bared and feral, already pushing herself in front of Dani to stand between him and the man.

He scoffs, and rolls his eyes. “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have wasted my time on a d—” 

Thankfully, he doesn’t even have time to finish the thought. Instead, there’s a sickening, fleshy thump as Jamie’s fist collides with his cheekbone. 

Hard.

Caught off guard, the man falls off his stool and lands on the floor with an even louder noise. As he does, his arms flail out and knock his glass off the table, and it lands beside him, crashing as it breaks apart upon impact. 

Immediately, the entire bar goes quiet as everyone turns to stare at what’s just happened. Owen is standing by the booth, mouth agape and wide-eyed as he looks between a seething Jamie, fist still cocked, and the man on the floor clutching his face.

Dani is clutching Jamie’s other arm, pulling at her and trying to let her mind catch up with the quickly-unfolding events that have just taken place. 

“You bitch!” the man yells. He turns to look at the shell-shocked audience around him. “She hit me! You crazy bitch!”

“You’re lucky that’s all I did you fucking dickhead!” Jamie shouts back. “When a girl tells ya’ no thank you, keep your greasy fucking hands off her or I’ll—”

“Jamie,” Dani says softly, tugging at Jamie’s sleeve. “Come on. Let’s just—”

Jamie is wild-eyed when she turns to look at her, as unhinged as Dani’s ever seen her and she looks so angry and beautiful that it’s a wonder Dani keeps standing at all. “He fucking—” she begins, but Dani shakes her head.

“I know, I know.” She throws a look at Owen who is already making his way towards them. “We need to leave, okay? Please.”

It’s the final word, perhaps, that finally brings Jamie back into herself. Her expression softens and she lowers her fist, nodding and letting herself be pulled toward the exit before anyone wises up enough to call the police. As they go, whispered conversations start trickling through the crowd again, muffled shock cupped behind hands as the man begins to pull himself to his feet, deflated and looking very much like a child.

The front door squeaks loudly as they step out into the bitter, November air. It’s shockingly sobering, despite the fact that Dani hasn’t had a drop to drink all night. Her cheeks are flushed with the emotion of the last few minutes and she realizes that she’s trembling, even as she’s gripping Jamie’s wrist.

Fortunately, it seems to have the same effect on Jamie, who’s begun to calm herself down and breathe normally again. The normal sounds of the evening feel otherworldly now—the rush of cars and voices and regular life crashing down on each of them.

The door squeaks again and then Owen is there, coming towards them with a still-surprised gleam in his eye. But there’s something else there, too. Something that Dani thinks might be pride.

“What happened?” he asks, looking between them both.

“Bloody wanker grabbed Dani,” Jamie mutters and she’s inspecting her punching-fist now, eyebrows furrowed.

Owen’s eyebrows raise in even more surprise. “You okay, Dani?” he asks, turning his worry her way.

Dani nods. “I’m fine, I just—”

“Yep,” Jamie says. “It’s broken.”

“What?” Dani squeaks and Jamie looks up at her with a wry smile, clutching her hand to her chest.

“My knuckle. It’s broken.”

“Oh my god,” Dani breathes.

“It’s okay.”

“You broke your hand. How is that—”

“I’m fine. It’s not like I—”

“Jesus, Jamie, why did you have to—”

“What was I supposed to do, Dani?” Jamie asks. “Let him touch you like that when you were trying to get away from him? You looked so scared and he was just...I just...I’m sorry.”

Dani blinks. Tries not to cry. “You big, dumb hero,” she says softly and Jamie looks hurt for a moment until she realizes that Dani is smiling. “You broke your hand defending my honor.”

For a moment, she forgets that Owen is there at all. It’s just her and Jamie and Jamie’s battle wound, wrapped up in a bubble of their own design. Jamie smiles a little, clearly in pain as her adrenaline drains away.

“So out of character for me,” Jamie breathes, laughing a little. “I’m sorry that I—”

Dani cuts her off again, but differently now. Leaning in, she cups Jamie’s face and kisses her, hard and heart and i can’t believe you did that. Jamie lifts her good hand, resting it on Dani’s shoulder as she kisses her back. It lingers for a moment, just long enough for Dani to feel like the earth has stopped spinning beneath her feet. 

When she pulls away, Jamie breathes shakily against her lips, resting their foreheads together as they each try to settle down.

Owen clears his throat, bringing them back into the moment. “If you two are done, I really think we should get her to the hospital.”

Reality washes over Dani like an icy ocean wave. “Oh my god, Jamie, your hand.”

The last evening of Owen’s visit, they end the night in the emergency room; Owen buys them food from the vending machine, Jamie makes too many jokes about being temporarily handicapped (“Handicapped,” she says, smiling at herself. “Get it?”) and Dani holds her good hand, remembering all of those heroes she never wanted to be rescued by.

Jamie’s nothing like them. She isn’t a knight or a prince or anything like that. She’s the hard-headed, unbelievable, wonderful love of Dani’s life. And that’s better than any hero she could have ever wished for.

..

[chinuppoppins]

Dani and Jamie: Revolutionary War AU

(so this is about six pages long and my first fic in 2 years. It was six pages long so I will be posting a part 2 to my AO3 later)

The air outside was crisp and cool, a perfect autumn night. It was nice out on the balcony compared to the stuffy and noisy air in the ballroom behind her. It was not like she hated parties, she just did not like being around a lot of people. It was the looks of pity that she was still given after all this time, the whispers from the patrons how she was too young, too pretty, too delicate to be a widow. It was the ones that were a bit cruel, how he died foolishly and wickedly with no gravestone. 

Duels, according to some was compared to suicided. Rumors went around why her late husband, a private in the ongoing revolution, dueled a fellow man, but she new the truth. A rumor, no, a truth about her, how she allowed a woman’s touch to linger and how her husband had to defend her- no, his honor. His pistol backfired after she begged him to raise it to the sky and he laid dead in the mud in Jersey of all places. She had been in their small Philadelphia home before an errand boy came for her. Her husband was already dead by the time she arrived at the doctor’s home and she wept of course and shakily took his cracked spectacles from his greying face. He died for her selfishness and she reminded about that every time she looked in a mirror, he was always behind her, haunting her memories.

“Dani,” She turns around to see her aunt standing at the doorway. “Come inside, you’ll catch a chill from being out here.” The older women smiled. “Besides a group of Washington’s men have just arrived and they are pretty easy on the eyes.” She added with a wink. “And you look like you could use a drink.”

She allows a small laugh to escape her lips before she nods her head and allows her aunt to take her arm and drag her back into the busy room. Sure enough men in blue coats now added themselves to the festivities. Women surrounded them, faces flushed and full of giggles, wine for sure helped give them their glow. She took a glass for herself as she scanned the room, finding a lone solider standing beside a potted plant, inspecting the drooping leaves. Dani sighed as she downed her glasses before pulling the server over to grab another one, she had to keep up an appearance. Though as she made her way over to the lone solider, a friend stopped her for a second. “Careful, Dani.” She slurs just a bit. “That ones a bit odd, a mute apparently.”

Dani raises a brow, even better. She did not have to fake a laugh at terrible jokes. “Odd, just my type.” She jokes as her friend shrugs. So, she makes her way across the room to the odd solider in the blue coat with red and white trim. “I’m guessing that plant is a better conversation than the people in her.” She laughs a bit awkwardly. “Probably better than the night sky.”

The solider turns around and Dani is surprised by his feminine features, she had to blink to make sure that she was seeing delicate features on this man. If she did not know any better- no, masquerading around as a man was a crime that was punishable by death. She knew the story of Joan of Arc. “My name is Danielle, I wanted to thank you for your service.”

The solider smiles softly and nods, not speaking.

“I’m sorry if this seems odd, but could I keep your company for the rest of the night?” Dani asks. “I’m a bit of an outcast myself and I’d rather not be here but being that this is my aunt’s home and I still have to social climb, I have to. So?”

The solider nods and keeps her company. They do not move from the wilting plant, but every time a waiter passes them, either she or the solider grabs them another glass of wine. Dani finds herself a bit drunk as she talks to the solider, well more talks at rather than too. The solider listens and Dani cannot help but to let almost everything off her shoulders. The solider seems intrigued though, their own brow raising when she speaks about the rumor that got his husband killed, while adding with a whisper that maybe it was not just a rumor. Dani’s eyes widen in horror after realizing what she let slip, that rumor, that lie could get her committed or worse. So, she stands up and excuses herself, turning in horror when she realizes the solider is following her. A cool rush of fear washes over her as she picks up her pace, trying to find a lone balcony and when she is unable to find one, she settles to the empty gardens. For a moment, Dani thinks she is alone and lets out a shaky breath before she feels a hand on her arm.

Dani jumps back and lets out a jumble of words. “I- I’m drunk and I just, I don’t- I.”

“It’s alright.” The solider finally speaks, a soft and womanly voice to match their feminine features. “I’m not going to say anything.”

Dani’s eyes widen in awe, because her intuition was right, this solider was a woman and perhaps she was braver than her male counterparts. “You’re- you, do you realize what they would do if they found out?”

The other woman rolls her eyes. “Do you have any idea what they would do to you if they found out about you?” She questions back. “You need to be careful who you tell your truth too, you’re a pretty face, they wouldn’t kill you. They would just try to fix you and I don’t think you want that.”

Dani frantically looks around as she struggles to process this. “I don’t understand.” She finally whispers. “Why would you risk your life to fight in the war?”

The woman sighs. “It’s complicated- family is complicated.” Her eyes narrow. “Why would you tell me your truth?”

“I- I don’t know, I’ve had a lot to drink and I just felt that you were- are,” Dani stumbles, finding herself flushing at the woman’s smile.

“Different?” She finishes and Dani nods. “I am different, and I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with being different.” She shucks her hands in her pockets and toes the grass. “I’m Jamie, but the men in there, they think I’m Michael the Mute, you think you can go along with that one?” She grins when Dani nods. “Good and how about after this party is over and we part ways, you write to me? I’d love to have someone to talk to.”

“Of course.” Dani agrees. It is a nice feeling to have a friend in all of this after all and a friend with a secret that was almost as dangerous as her own.

 By the time Dani hears from her dear friend again, a fresh blanket of snow covers the ground, and she took a job as a governess for a prominent patriot family. She is walking the grounds with the two children, reading aloud a story to them as the snow crunches beneath their feet. Their lesson is interrupted when the housekeeper, Mrs. Grose, a tender and devote woman comes out to her with a letter. The older woman raises a brow and of course Dani loses the children to the fresh snow at their feet. “A letter from a suitor?” Mrs. Grose asks while a snowball speeds past their heads, missing them by a mere inch. Despite the chilly air, Dani blushes. She never once thought of Jamie as a suitor. After all, being with another woman was frowned upon. Part of her, however, did not care. She breaks the wax seal and settles down on a bench as she reads the letter with a mile-wide smile on her face. Jamie was brave, very brave with what she was doing. True, Dani didn’t her motives, why she was parading around as a solider. As she reads, little Flora joins her on the bench, peering over her shoulder as she reads about Jamie’s adventures, she was in Jersey now. She spoke about how the men were becoming weary and sick of battle. So many good men lost due to freeing this country and Jamie spoke about the sympathy she felt towards the dead and their families. However, she pauses for a moment when she reads how excited she is to come home and see her. She had hoped to be home around Christmas, however rumors about a new plan to push back the British was in the works. So maybe, just maybe she would be home after Christmas and that she would be honored to be able to celebrate with her. “Miss. Clayton?” Flora’s little voice breaks her trance. “Who is the letter from? Do you have someone special?”

Dani laughs a bit and then nods. “Something like that, it’s from a friend.”

“Just a friend?” Miles asks coyly.

Flora giggles. “Yes, Miss. Clayton. You are blushing.”

Dani folds the letter up and sticks it into her pocket. “This has nothing to do with your lessons today. Now come along, your parents expect you to be fluent in French by the end of this year and my personal life has nothing to do with that.”

Letters come frequently now and Dani always writes back quickly always ending each letter with ‘Yours, Dani’ while every letter to her starts with a ‘My Dearest, Dani’ She is in her room when she reads that and she giggles and giggles and giggles with a flushed face. It was an odd feeling; she never felt this way about her own husband. There was a different feeling with Eddie, almost how friend loves another friend. Reading letter from Jamie made her heart race, her palms sweat and cause her stomach to flutter. Dani felt giddy, like a child on Christmas morning and she becomes even more excited when she reads that Jamie would be visiting her soon, about how they were victorious in Trenton and how she earned this break. It would be after Christmas, possibly after the new year.

Jamie keeps her promise and manages to arrive a few days after the new year to the mansion she was staying in. The children spot her first and perk up from their books. “Miss. Clayton! Miss Clayton, look! It’s the solider you’ve been writing to!”

In her last letter, Dani told Jamie it was okay to be herself. Mr. and Mrs. Wingrave were a different breed of people. They knew about Dani’s truth and never spoke a word about it, they were kind and had open hearts. They understood her and accepted her, and she knew they would do the same for Jamie.

Dani walks from the blackboard to the window to peer out the frost covered glass, forcing it up when she realized that it was Jamie pushing herself through the snow. “Jamie!” Dani shouts, voice full of joy into the winter air. Jamie looks up, using her hand to block out the sun. “You’re early!”

Jamie scoffs. “Yes, well, I wanted to surprise you.” She shouts back. “But it looks like my plans was thwarted by two little imps.” She points towards the children.

Laughing, Dani pushes herself from the window while Flora and Miles watch from the window. “Miss. Clayton was telling the truth, the solider is a girl.” Miles points out as their governess rushes out of the classroom and down the stairs. The large doors fling open and Flora sighs when Dani rushes into her arms while their laughter fills the morning air. “It’s romantic, isn’t it, Miles?” Flora leans on her hand. “To see Miss. Clayton smile like that, it’s perfectly-”

“Splendid, yes, yes.” The older boy finishes as he fixes his jacket. “Come along, Flora, we should introduce ourselves properly.”

“Oh, how exciting!” Flora exclaims. “I have so many questions for the lady solider, how scandalous.” She adds with a giggle.

Miles turns quickly and puts a finger to his lips. “Flora remember that we mustn’t tell anyone about Miss. Clayton and her friend. Remember what mother and father said, if people find out- they won’t be kind.”

When the children enter the foyer, they see their governess taking the blue coat off of her- well the children were smart, they quickly picked up that perhaps that Jamie was more than just a friend even if the adults were too shy to admit it. “This is full of holes.” Dani seems to tease, poking her finger through one of the tears. “Did anyone teach you how to sew?”

The woman shrugs. “Oh yes, fixing the holes is number one on my list, right under evading British gunfire.”

“I can patch that up for you.” Mrs. Grose says as she comes out of the parlor and takes that coat from Dani. “This one here is terrible at it, I’ve seen her attempt it on the children’s clothes. It is her fingers that need the patching up when she’s finished. I am Mrs. Grose, the Wingrave’s housekeeper,” She looks at Dani, smiling. “It’s nice to finally be able to meet you. We have heard so much about you, the children and I light a candle for you every morning, we are just so taken with your bravery.”

“Oh, the children!” Dani had almost forgotten about them; she was just too entranced by Jamie being here. While only meeting in person once, it was the letters that brought them close. The playful nicknames and the plans for the future, hints here there about their past. The little tidbits of information that was passed only between the two, things that she would leave out when she had read them out loud to the children. She spots them though, standing by the staircase and ushers them over. “This young man right here is Miles, and this little lady is Flora.”

Flora pushes herself in front of her brother and curtseys. “Oh, it is such a pleasure to meet you. Miss. Clayton told us about your adventures, why, we didn’t even know you were a woman until- well until a few days ago.” She took Jamie’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Father says we are fighting for,” She pauses as she recalls her lessons. “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and he says that Miss. Clayton and you both have a right to be happy.” Flora beams as she clapped her hands together. “He and mother have a wonderful offer for you at dinner. It’s perfectly splendid.”

Jamie blinks while impressed with the little girl’s vocabulary. She raises an eyebrow towards Dani as she knelt in front of her. “Well aren’t you an intelligent little thing, how old are you?”

“She’s eight and I’m ten.” Miles speaks up, stepping forward. “And our intelligence is all thanks to our wonderful teacher. Lessons can be boring, but Miss. Clayton makes it fun for us. She says, sometimes it’s better to learn with you hands rather than being in a book all day.”

Jamie smirks while Dani blushes. Jamie once stated in a letter that she learned almost everything she knew today with her hands. It is how she learned to farm and to paint after all. “Well, Miss. Clayton sure knows what she is doing.” She grins over toward Dani. “She is very bright, after all.”

Mrs. Grose looks between the two and then walks over towards the children, standing between them. “Well, I think we’ve bothered you long enough and I think the children deserve the rest of the day off, wouldn’t you agree Miss. Clayton. That way you and Jamie can catch up, maybe show her where she is staying?”

Dani brightens and nods her head. “Yes, of course. I’m sure you two can busy yourselves and stay out of trouble?” The children both nod, Flora exclaiming that she does need some time with her dolls while Miles takes his book into the parlor. “They are only being this well behaved because they are dying to hear your stories.” Dani whispers, as she leads Jamie up the stairs. As they wander into one of the halls, Jamie stops, causing Dani to turn to her in concern.

“Are you sure that it’s safe?” Jamie asks. “You trust these people enough?”

Using both of her hands, Dani cups her face, a serene smile on her face. “I promise you; we’ll be safe here. They actually want you to work here after the war, they want to give us a small plot of land on the Manor to build a home.”

Jamie chuckled as she covered her hand over hers, pressing her forehead against Dani’s with her eyes closed. She felt at peace for the first time in a long time, like this woman was her home. “How did you even find these people?”

“They found me,” Dani sighs. “But that is a story for later, you look exhausted. When was the last time you had a good sleep?”

Pulling back, Jamie shrugs. “I have no idea really.”

Dani takes her hand and leads her to her room. “Well, lucky for you, there are some pretty comfortable beds here.”

Once she gets settle, Dani wants to be courteous and give her some time alone. However, Jamie stops her asking her to stay. So, she does, and they lay into bed together, Jamie reaching out to run her fingers through her blonde hair. Her eyes flutter and she breathed a sigh of relief. “Can I tell you something? Just please don’t start thinking I’m strange.”

Jamie scoffs. “I already think you’re a bit strange, Dani, but that’s what I adore about you.” She adds with a wink. “What it is?”

Dani reaches and takes Jamie’s free hand, caressing her rough knuckles. “Before you came along, I always saw him, my late husband. He was my childhood friend, everyone expected us to marry so, we did. I never loved him, not the way he loved me and that and my attraction to women is what got him killed in the end. Sometimes I would feel him over my shoulder, catch him out of the corner of my eye. I guess the guilt was driving me mad, but then, I read your letters and I just felt- different. I stopped seeing him, he no longer haunts me. I just wish things were different.”

“His pride killed him, darling, not you.” Jamie assures her. “How do you mean though, with wishing things were different?”

Dani smirks, bringing Jamie’s hand towards her lips, gently kissing her knuckles. “I wish I met you earlier. Then we could just be two spinsters, living in a cabin with two cats- maybe a dog too.”

Jamie snorts and rolls her eyes. “Yes, spinsters wouldn’t raise eyebrows. We all know what they are doing in their life of celibacy.” She adds with raised brows, laughing at her own joke before Dani moves in, taking her- hell maybe herself by surprise and kisses her softly and slowly. She pulls away just an inch, a soft laugh escapes her lips. “Never done that with another woman before, hm?

Dani shakes her head and Jamie grins. “No I- you’re the first.”

“Well,” She runs both hands into her hair. “We should keep at it practice makes perfect, after all.” Jamie points out, pressing her lips against Dani’s smiling against her lips when she felt her relax in her arms. They had all afternoon alone and Jamie planned to make it a memorable one.

[leobashi]

Haunted house and ghost haunted au crossover?

Okay this is big brain because these two are some of my favorite AUs I’ve made! And spirit stuff?? It’s almost perfect timing too because @suitcasesquid recently updated the Haunted House story here too! It’s a choose your own adventure type of story so go comment what Jackie should do next!!

I’d imagine GH Chase scouted this place out because someone in chat suggested it and it has a very strange history. After just a little bit of research, Chase is convinced that it is haunted.

There were three specific owners who played a part in the strange history. Any other owners couldn’t last a week before moving out. These three owners were normal before they had moved into the house. During their months living there, each one had been reported to have developed strange behavior and after their death, every one of which was apparent suicide, it was confirmed that they had killed people in that very house. The original owner was a suspected witch and many people have theorized that he might’ve been the one to summon some otherworldly being to the house. What’s even weirder is that the house already looks old and dilapidated despite the latest owner only passing about a year or two ago.

It was also reported a few months ago that a boy had gone missing here. He meant to explore the place with some friends and he was assumed to have arrived a little earlier than the others, but although his car, phone and bag were found on the grounds, the boy himself was missing. 

It’s 8:14 pm when Chase tells Henrik, Jackie, and chat this inside the house as they start the investigation and live stream at dusk. Chase had four cameras set up beside his own that he carried around with him. One was in the living room where two owners committed suicide, one in the basement where the other owner committed suicide, one in the attic where the rituals supposedly took place, and one outside with a full view of the front of the house.

But soon their flashlights flicker. They light up again and it seemed to have been a strange coincidence. Well, it would’ve been if it wasn’t in a supposedly haunted house. Suddenly, Chase’s camera battery drains to zero. He’s confused and scared, but does his best to replace it with his spare. He knows he charged it, but it was drained as well. His live stream was cut off. He checks his phone, but it’s dead and won’t turn on. So are Henrik’s and Jackie’s

Anti tells them that time and space is being warped. He can feel it. But he doesn’t know what‘s being changed. Henrik pulls up his sleeve to read his analog watch. 8:24 pm

They decide to go to the car to get more batteries and recharge, but the door doesn’t budge. It’s a few minutes more when the sun sets completely outside and they are plunged into darkness with only their flashlights to guide their way. They try to pry the boards off of the windows. They don’t budge or break either. They are stuck in the house.

They go to check the other cameras around the house. Their batteries have been drained as well. They don’t know about the one outside. They have no way of contacting anyone outside the house.

Chase starts to panic. He never thought that he would die to a demon. He’s considered it of course, he’s been on many investigations in many sketchy places, why wouldn’t he consider it? But he’s never truly believed he would die to a demon one day. He starts hyperventilating, but Jackie helps him get a grip on himself. It’s best if they all stay calm.

One by one, they meet the spirits as well.

It’s 8:48 pm on Henrik’s watch when they meet the first spirit. It looks like Chase. The only difference was that the spirit had blood and tears running down its face and a gaping bullet wound on the side of its head. When the spirit looks up, Chase looks it in the eye. Unlike Chase’s own eyes, the spirit's irises are completely black and unreflecting. They were swirling pools of darkness. Not a drop of light shined through. “What are you doing here?” it asked in a distorted, but all too familiar voice. “What do you want?” It took a step forward and the three of them took five steps back. It’s face started to morph from sadness to anger. “What do you want from me?!”

The spirit lunged at them. They all backed up against each other and Chase who was at the forefront threw his arms up in cowering defense. It phased through them and disappeared.

They meet the second spirit around 9:30 pm. It looked like Henrik. Just like the first, its eyes were a dark void. Unlike Henrik, the spirit was covered in lacerations and a wide, terrible grin. It didn’t lunge at them, it took slow careful steps right up to Henrik. “Do you have an appointment?” it asked and tilted its head. Henrik stares it in the eyes and hated how similar they were right down to the height, the voice, the accent, and the walk. “Oh how I would love to cut you up and see what you hold inside!” Suddenly, it pulled a scalpel out of nowhere. Startled, Henrik stumbles back, but the spirit disappears right before their eyes.

The third spirit they met at 10:45 pm. It looked like Jamie. They ran into him suddenly when they returned to the living room and its body hung from the balcony. Its body was unmoving, but its dark eyes follow them across the room. The dripping of its blood from its hands was the only sound they heard as they passed it in scared silence. When they turn back, it’s gone.

Henrik is confused because spirits usually appear to him like regular people, not constantly phasing in and out of reality. They can’t do that since that can only attach to stuff, not hide in object like demons who posses or infest things. Jackie and Anti are also wary. They’ve never seen this before.

They make their way to one of the front windows in an attempt to escape again. Jackie brings out his staff and starts to pry at the boards. Henrik and Anti keep watch as suddenly, they start to hear glass shattering. Chase does his best to keep the flashlights on as they start to flicker. They hear a low hum, but they can’t discern from where it’s coming from. All they know it that it’s getting louder. Chase screams at Jackie to hurry and drops the blinking flashlights in favor of helping him get the boards off. Anti’s form starts to solidify and his face starts to warp. He floats down closer to the ground and holds his arms out around Henrik, ready to defend if need be.

As the humming got louder, they start to realize that it was no hum, it was a giggle, a laugh. It got louder and closer along with whatever was making the sound. The darkness around them starts to seep in from outside, closer and closer to them, until a board breaks under one of Jackie’s strike and light seeps through.

He starts to rip at the boards around it and suddenly, they come off easy. The rest of the boards are kicked off and Chase is the first one out the window. Jackie lets Henrik go before him and then he jumps after them. They scramble to their feet and away from the house.

As soon as they had passed the window sill, the laughter cut out and all they heard was the wind. They were breathing heavy as they looked up and at the sky. The sun was still out, just about to set. Chase’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out and his phone says it’s 8:18 pm. Henrik checks his watch and it says 11 pm.

Chase had gotten several notifications from the chat who were still watching the stream from the camera that was left outside. The other cameras had cut out for them, but according to the notifications, they just turned back on again. Chase looks back at the house. He was curious about his other cameras, but he wasn’t about to just waltz back in there.

Henrik had already made his way to the car and was leaning heavily against it. He made up his mind. He wasn’t going back in there. Anti was staring into the house through the window they had escaped through. He could’ve sworn he saw something just as they left. A pair of glowing green eyes in the darkness before it conglomerated into a single silhouette. It looked like a person with a cape on. 

Jackie had backed away from the house, but he glanced back, looking for the spirits. There was no hint of them anywhere, no movement in the windows, no creaking of the boards, no spirits detectable at all. Suddenly, something moves in his peripherals. He turns his head on high alert and for a moment, he sees himself, a younger version, reaching out to him with a desperate look on his face and mouth wide open in a silent scream. The apparition is gone as soon as it had appeared.

They leave. Chase grabbed the camera outside the house, but left the others there. None of them were wiling to step back into that house in the dark. Chase and Jackie decide to come back for them tomorrow noon. When Chase reviews the footage, there really was just a few minutes between the time when they stepped into the house and the time when they jump out the window. It had felt like hours to them. It was hours, Henrik’s watch had proved it. And although there was nothing in the footage, Chase’s fans had gotten screen recordings and screen shots of something in the window left behind when they stumbled out. It looked like two glowing eyes of a dark silhouette before it disappeared.

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 512

Looking for a way to spend Mother’s Day? Well, we here at Outlander have the perfect idea! Celebrate with the women you love by watching us gang rape grannie!

This episode is like the perfect storm of everything that is wrong with Outlander. The cast and crew saying it’s their strongest episode yet when it’s basically artsy gang rape. The CYA trigger warnings when the story would have worked perfectly well without including yet another rape. The kool aid-drinking fans yelling at and acting holier than thou at the fans who rightfully call out the massive problem this show has with rape and assault. The fans yelling at other fans because It’S iN tHe BoOk so it has to be included. The fans yelling at other fans for wanting to follow the books but not wanting rape every 0.5 seconds. The fans yelling at other fans to fuck off if they don’t like the show. The women in the cast throwing out trigger warnings while the men are radio silent or wanting the gladiators to face the plague and fight for their own amusement. It literally has everything.

And I am tired.

I’ve been in this fandom for six years and have had quite a journey. From first discovering the show and immediately devouring the books. The honeymoon period where I could headcanon out all the problematic bits. The getting deep into the fandom nonsense. The getting out of the fandom nonsense. The judging the fandom nonsense because it’s funny and they’re all idiots. The getting sick of the fandom nonsense because it’s not even fun to judge the dummies anymore. The becoming more and more aware that it’s impossible to whistle past the problems in the books and the show. The sticking around, holding out hope things might turn around and the initial magic could be recaptured. And finally, the giving up.

The books are trash. The show is trash. There are a handful of good scenes in each which can be enjoyed on their own, but as a whole, holy shit this stuff is not good. (Seriously, I tried to do a Fiery Cross reread before the season started. I started like a year ago and am still only at Jocasta’s wedding because I just don’t care enough to actually get through it.)

Which brings us here. I am tired. I have already ranted and raged and yelled and swore and wrote far too many words about the gratuitous overuse of rape in the Outlanderverse. It fucking has its own tag for fuck’s sake.

So here’s a recap. And then I think I’m done looking at this show in detail. Not because the idiot fans insist on coming to my notes to tell me to fuck off if I don’t like the show. Not because the crew are condescending douchecanoes. Not because the author is a misogynist garbage heap. But because spending an hour of my time for a few weeks out of the year to write these things isn’t worth it. I did it for as long as I did because it took so little time. So why not? But yeah, it’s not even worth that tiny commitment anymore.

And to the people who I know will @ me about how no one was forcing me to stick around and I could have quit any time, yeah, no shit captain obvious, I know that. Fuck off already. I stuck around because I really liked the little corner of the fandom that I’d found. I made some awesome friends. Most of those friends have since quit the fandom. I’m really glad to have them in my life outside of this little corner of the internet. And it was a fun writing exercise. I don’t really like the show anymore, but I enjoyed building an argument about why I don’t like it and think it’s bad that has valid points behind it. Especially considering how blindly overly adoring a bunch of the fandom is about it. But now I think I’d rather consume Outlander content as pretty people in pretty period costumes in gifsets. Or like, on in the background but not really paying close attention. Why not quit altogether? Because to quote the great Ron Swanson (I’m halfway through a Parks rewatch and I just love that show a lot ok.), I can do what I want. And besides, there’s like a fucking library’s worth of fics that I haven’t read and have been meaning to. And I like the characters enough to want to keep reading about them in stories that are better than the canon. (Bless you fic writers, blesssss.)

So. Was this whole ramble self-indulgent and overly serious for a fucking TV show? Absofuckinglutely. But please see the aforementioned Swansonism.

Alright, fuckos. Let’s do this.

This is a Roberts brainchild, isn’t it. *checks credits* Yup. Knew it. This feels very much like a Roberts special. In that he is probs quite pleased with himself but like, it’s crap.

Yes, we ARE doing ANOTHER rape story! But look! It’s a disassociation montage! It’s the ‘60s, get it?! There are callbacks! An orange from the king in season 2! A vase from season 1! A rabbit from season 3! An amber-looking dragonfly! Jamie with the young hair spouting off book lines! ApPrEcIaTe MuH aRt! We are so good at finding new and creative ways to rape our characters! Fuck off, twatwaffle. You are the worst.

Like, does Roger feel left out at this point? He’s only been hanged. Literally everyone else has either been raped, been sexually assaulted, or been threatened with rape and/or sexual assault.

“But it’s not gratuitous! Look! They’re all so different! Jamie’s was overly graphic and he got a half a season to brood about! We manged to not show much of Fergus’ (but still showed a thrust) because he’s a child and it was just a plot device for Jamie and not actually about him! Mary’s was about Fred! Claire’s with the king was about Jamie! Jamie’s with Geneva was shot like p0rn! Marsali being threatened by the sailors was to motivate Fergus! Bree’s was about the other people in the room and Roger! Claire’s really has no purpose because she’s already been kidnapped and beaten, and that is super traumatic, and we’re gonna wrap it up with a bow by the end of the episode!”

This fucking show, guys. This fucking show.

Bonus points* for the Black character spouting off the superstitious stuff.

*By bonus points I mean this show, and the books are absolute shit on matters of race. The books especially.

The cast and crew have 100% heard everyone’s thoughts on the overuse of rape in the Outlanderverse. And their response has been to include more and more of it. We had a whole season of one character’s arc being about her rape and literally as soon as that was resolved, they gang rape another character. It really does tell you as much as you need to know about them. Lazy. Fucking. Cowards.

Kidnapping not enough trauma? Let’s add some gang rape! Gang rape not enough trauma? Let’s add visualizing that your daughter and grandchild are dead! Just like Fred died! This show really brings trauma p0rn to a whole new level.

Called the Bree and Roger shit.

This scene with the men rallying to go save Claire is like another layer of fuck you. Bree, you stay home, men, give your hero lines and let’s have a getting ready montage. Because your hero moment is what this is really all about. And your manpain about killing someone. *screams into a pillow*

The petty side of me is happy that it was Fergus and Young Ian who are with Claire when they find her and not Roger. Her two sons...

Why yes, I am judging all of the fans who like get their panties all wet over Jamie being like “It is I who kills for her.” Like “yeah go ahead and rape and beat Claire within an inch of her life if it means the big strong man gets to come in and save her and say something intense.” Fuck off and go take a hard look at yourself and what that says about you.

“Was there an Indian there?” “Nope, he wouldn’t help you because LiOnEl but somehow was able to peace out when it was in his interest. Because he is as bad as the ones who actually raped you.”

The Bree and Claire hug makes me both sad and angry. I want to hug them both and take them out of this fucking place and tell them that they’ve been done dirty and deserved fucking better from the writers.

Glad Marsali gets in on the hug. Claire’s two remaining daughters.

Claire’s “I have fucking survived” speech is like the one time she she actually talks about herself not in relation to a man. It’s about her. Claire. HOWEVER! It is epically fucked up that a woman needs to check off all the trauma she’s endured to show she’s a strong character.

So. Fucked. Up.

The fact that we’re spending time on Roger’s manpain about killing someone also really tells us a lot about the show’s feelings toward women. Yeah, killing someone is a big deal. It’s normal and expected to have feelings about it. But the juxtaposition of Claire’s speech about all of her traumas with Roger being like yeah, I killed a guy who had kidnapped, beaten and raped your mom is like, read the room, bro/writers.

The fact that the men put Claire’s rapist in her surgery, her space, her place of healing, where she is able to be most herself, makes me want to punch each and every one of them in the throat. Like seriously. Fuck each and every one of them.

Also Lionel is like cartoonishly terrible. Not that nuance has ever been this show’s strong suit. But like come the fuck on.

Marsali killing Lionel is the one thing about this episode that I didn’t hate. The men are all like “We kill for Claire! Let’s all rally in this montage and go do the manly thing of defending the woman!” Marsali is just like, yeah, that’s my Ma you fucked with. She shows some agency. She doesn’t do it in a performative way for the other men or for Claire like the guys do. She just knows this fuck needs to die, knows it’s gonna be hard for her and might damn her soul (don’t worry Marsali, all that religion crap is bullshit), and does it anyway.

Marsali’s arc has been my favorite of this whole fucking series. The one bright spot I was hanging on to all of this season especially.

Her quick scene with Jamie doesn’t bother me like Roger’s does. Because Roger is like oh no, I killed a guy! Can you forgive me? For killing a rapist? Like fuck off, bro. And Marsali is like yeah, I killed a guy. I hope I’m not damned for it, but the guy needed to die so I did it.

Also like, Richard had potential to not be cartoonishly bad. But like nope. “He reaped what he sowed, but cLeArLy I’m gonna need to escalate this further. Because manly men can’t let shit go.”

Fuck all men, tbh.

*googles how to emigrate to Themyscira*

Jamie’s speech that’s like supposed to parallel Claire’s can fuck all the way off. Giving him the last voice over just underscores how this was all about men. Not Claire. But the men. Fuuuuck everything.

Look! Everything’s fine again! Back to normal! Peaceful for a bit! With a cheesy af on the nose storm coming! So you know something bad’s coming! In case you forgot!

And Jamie got a book line. So it’s all good now.

And don’t worry about Claire, y’all. She feels safe now. Her and Jamie fucked it out.

It’s amazing, in retrospect, that I ever let this story suck me in so much.

Happy Mother’s Day! See you on the other side of the hiatus.

[imagineofallkindsxxx]

Eternal Flame- Kol Mikaelson 5/?

You Should Be Like Me, Be Single!

Summary: 'You never know whats in a persons heart until you truly know them' - Belle French, Once Upon a Time

Singing. Thats all what Alexandra Gilbert has cared about since she was young and all she would care about until she met him.

With Alexandra fighting vampires, werewolves and all inbetween she may do a thing she vowed never to do, fall in love.

And to think it all started with a walk in the woods...

Waking up from the previous night was like I just had a bad dream but the bruises on my arm remind me that what happened was very very real. I looked at the digital clock on my night stand and saw it read 7:31. Shit. I ran into the bathroom to brush my teeth and have the quickest shower known to man before changing into burgundy dress with short sleeves and ends mid-thigh. Put on some winged eyeliner, highlighter and a nice shade of dark red lipstick. I ran down stairs seeing its 8:05, I'm able to get a coffee quick before heading off to the first day of school. When walking into the kitchen I saw my little brother on a stool. I poured myself some coffee into a travel mug before turning towards him.

"Hey. How are you?" I asked curious to how my baby brother is holding up.

"Alright considering. But I should be asking you that, how are you after last night?" I looked at him thinking of an answer that wouldn't seem selfish and rude but also honest. I hate bitching about Elena towards my brother. I don't want him to feel like he has to pick between the two of us. Before I could answer him, I heard a loud honk outside making me realise that Sam was here to five me a ride to school.

"That's my ride. do you want a lift to school?" I asked like every day and everyday he'd decline

"Nah I'm fine, Elena is taking me." I smiled and ruffle his hair before bidding him good bye seeing out my peripheral vision him trying to fix his hair making me smile a little. I grabbed my bag and walked outside getting into Sam’s car, he picks me up as on his way to school he passes my house, it’s been that way since sophmore year even before me and Elena became estranged.

"Hey, what's up?" Sam asks.

"Hi, nothing just a bit tired that's all. We still on for tonight?" I replied leaving out the reason I didn’t sleep being because of the worrisome thoughts about a certain Lockwood.

"To my knowledge. Hope so anyway, first performance in a month this Saturday. We need to prepare." He said determined to do well this weekend. Sam was always the most determined out of the four of us which I admired greatly. I hummed in agreement to his previous statement. We listened to music trying to find any song that would fit our genre on the radio before pulling up into the school parking lot filled with miserable teens not wanting to go back to school. We got out grabbing my bag and helping Sam with his bass I told him I'd meet him inside at our spot which I already know James will be lurking, he’s always early to get in. I saw my sister and her friends and walked up to them hearing Caroline say.

"Here we are. Senior year." Which made me sigh making my presence known.

"Anyone else think it should feel slightly more empowering?" Bonnie said voicing my thoughts of how deflating and normal this feels.

"Absolutely Bon. Understand where you're coming from." I replied agreeing with the witch.

"Okay. So, prank night was a bust. But we are accepting it, and we are moving on" she addressed us all not making me feel any better but for sake of pretence I put a smile on my face. This was before the pity party of my friends started with Bonnie starting by saying.

"You're right. I mean, why should I let the fact that my boyfriend is seeing the ghost of his dead girlfriends hinder this experience?" Wait what? Jeremy is speaking to his dead girlfriends? Plural? Jesus this is fucked up

"Today's our anniversary. Technically, Stefan and I met on the first day of school last year."

"Yes! And why should I let the fact that my boyfriend was turned into a hybrid put a damper on an otherwise fabulous day?" Caroline added making me think fair enough. Then Elena spoke.

"Okay you win" Caroline declared, this is when I stepped in and started walking backwards away from my sister and friends.

"Won what? The biggest pity party? You should be like me ladies, be single! Much easier than dealing and worrying about little boys!" I said with a huge smile on my face. I mean what's the big deal? "I’ll see you later." Walking away from the group of girls. I walked to our spot where I now realised Mark had joined also. this led to the four of us discussing what class we have next.

"I've got gym. Fantastic" Sam says sarcastically "Just what I need to start the first day of school"

"Better than math, feel like poking my eyes out just with the thought of quadratic equations" Mark states groaning at the thought of the numerical based class.

"I've got history. Decent compared to you two." I said looking at my time table.

"Same, thank god. I'm terrible at history. I literally only passed because I copied most of the work off of you." James informed me of his cheating.

"Gee thanks Jamie. feel so great about one of my best friends cheating." he just ignored me turning towards the rest of the group, "I'm going to put my stuff in my locker. Meet you here before heading to history?" I asked James.

"Yeah, sure." He dismissed me too engrossed in the conversation about a football game next week? Honestly, I don't particularly care about the game itself but the players do make up how boring the sport is.

I stalked off to my locker putting in my combination before seeing Elena and Caroline a few lockers up from me.

"Hello ladies." I said letting them know that I am there where Caroline shhh'd me pointing towards my sister who was on the phone, I gave her a questioning look.

"Damon" she whispered and I nodded in realization.

*******************************************************

"Rebekah? She's living with you now? Why?" asking many somewhat reasonable questions about the original, she’s quiet for a few seconds which I’m sure is waiting on Damon finishing.

"What about Stefan? What is he up to?" Asking about her beau worrying about him and his most likely death count. She waits while Damon answers.

"Come on Damon. I can handle it. What?" Persisting that Damon tells her what her boyfriend is doing before taking her phone away from her ear revealing he hung up on her. Yikes, must be bad.

Caroline then when the conversation finished put up a flyer next to me with it saying 'Spirit Squad Back to school Bonfire'.

"Is that tonight?" I questioned my friend forgetting all about the tradition, hopefully this one doesn’t turn out the same way the prank night did.

"I forgot about the bonfire" Elena said having more important matters to think about. Caroline taking our forgetfulness as not wanting to go by her rushing to say.

"You have to go. it's our first spirit quad event. And it sets the bar for the whole year." But me and Elena both ease her nerves by confirming that we will go and for her to relax. "Thank you. It's just that..." but before she could finish Tyler comes in suddenly and kisses Caroline.

"Happy first day!" he exclaims to the three of us which I give a small smile at until I see the red mark on his shirt which Elena clocks as well.

"Is that blood?" The brunette asks.

"Oh my god!" Caroline exclaims before pushing him into the boy’s bathroom with me and my twin following the couple.

"What's going on?!" he exclaims seeming genuinely confused about how having your breakfast on your shirt is a bad look.

"Vampire 101... don't wear your breakfast to school!" I'm checking if anyone was in the cubicles and would hear the supernatural based conversation going on between the couple.

"Chill out. it’s just a blood bag." Tyler said attempting to defend himself.

"From where?" Caroline questioned still extremely angry looking, before I could see this car crash of a conversation get even worse, I decided to escape

"Yeah. I’m just going to go now. Bye" being awkward but I had to get out of there. "Thank Christ I'm single" I muttered when I left the restroom.

I walked towards the spot in the corner only seeing James making me think the rest have went to class.

"Did you just come out of the boy’s restroom?" he asked confused about my whereabouts.

"Don't ask." I said and surprisingly he didn’t make fun making me think that I look quite stressed about the fact my friend turned hybrid is now going around with blood on his shirt.

It’s not even first period.

"Let’s just get to class."

When walking to class we made idle chat James trying to keep my spirits up. "Thanks James. I might let you cheat off my first paper just for this."

"For what?" he asked looking confused

"Being a good friend" yet he still looked confused when we walked into the class together, I saw my sister and Alaric talking quite closely making me furrow my eyebrows before smiling at the teacher and walking to the middle of the class where neither of us would be noticed. the class bell rang as I got my notebook out and wrote 'AP American History' on the front copying from the blackboard on the front. I overheard Elena saying to Alaric

"Look, him being here is not good for any of us. We have to do something." making me give her a questioning look which she dismissed by mouthing 'later' but something tells me it might have to do something with a vampire boyfriend with hero hair. Elena sits in her usual seat with Caroline coming and sitting next to left and Kyle sitting on her right well before our new resident psycho comes in to my shock going right to Kyle before saying menacingly.

"You're in my seat" making Kyle move to another seat. Poor Kyle.

Before anything else could be said Alaric started to teach the class

"Welcome back seniors. Let’s turn our brains back on, starting with this country's original founders... the Native Americans." Great can already feel how fascinating this lesson is, James already looking like he will fall asleep at any moment before class has even begun.

"What about the Vikings?" a girl asks taking a seat next to me

"She's hot" I heard a whisper come from my left making me give him a glare. before going back to looking at the blonde sitting next to me. Ric just replied by saying "There's no evidence the Viking explorers actually settled in the United States. Who are you?"

"My names Rebekah and history is my favourite subject"

Hope you enjoyed reading.

A/N: I fucked up with chapters so this is chapter 3 the beginning of 'smells like teen spirit.'

his was is the beginning of the episode and next will introduce Alex best girl friend Ash, dynamics between her and a certain character and more of the band.

Any British slang, spelling or grammar problems let me know.

Thanks for reading Lovelies xxx

Please comment any positive or negative feedback

[myhockeyworld87]

Choices - Tyler Seguin/Jamie Benn - Part 22

Word Count: 2,545

POV: Switches, starts as reader changes to Tyler

Warnings: Language, like a lot of language...haha

Notes: Sorry this is a little late, lots of personal stuff going on this past week. Hope you enjoy this Part. Don’t forget to vote!!! As always feedback is welcome! We’ll keep voting open on this one until noon on Saturday EST, since I was late getting it out.

Choices Masterlist

READER POV

You’d been mulling over what you wanted to tell Jamie in your head since the moment you found out you were pregnant with Tyler’s baby. It wasn’t like you thought you could keep this from him forever. Eventually, you were going to start to show and then you’d be answering more questions, but you really felt there was only one option right now. “I don’t know Ty, I think we just need to keep this to ourselves for a while.”

“I’ll do whatever you want (Y/N), you know that; though eventually, we’ve got to tell him something.”

“I know. I really do, and we will; as soon as we get past this first trimester.” You were so afraid you were going to jinx things if you told anyone about the baby. The second you found out that you were pregnant again, you read anything and everything on how to prevent a miscarriage. Which meant you were taking your folic acid, not drinking a drop of caffeine, and eating even healthier than normal. If it was in your power to prevent the heartache you experienced the last time, you would do it.

Tyler must have noticed where your thoughts had drifted, for his arms tightened around you just a little more. “You’ll make it there, babe, and if that means that we don’t say anything to Jamie right now; I can do that.”

“Thanks, Ty.” It was a load off your mind that he understood where you were coming. “So you’re ok with keeping this from Jamie, at least until we can figure out if it will affect his amnesia?”

“Yeah babe, I’m fine with that.” His hands kept running across your belly, looking for signs of the baby; which obviously weren’t there yet. “But what exactly does Jamie think? I mean you moved out, does he think you guys are still together?”

“Well…it’s not like I broke up with him. I just told him that I need to start living my life again. You know going back to work and singing; which I am going back to work.”

“Why? You know I’ll take care of everything. You’re not going to work once the baby’s born; are you?”

“No I suppose I’m not going to, but I can’t just ask you…”

“Yes you can, and you’re not asking me. I’m offering.” He turned you to face him, so you could see the seriousness on his face. “(Y/N), I want the three of us to be a family. Hell, if I thought for a second you’d say yes; I’d get down on one knee and ask you to marry me right now.” Tyler threw you for a loop with that statement. Of course, he’d talked about marriage and family before, but you had no idea he wanted all of that right now. “Don’t worry I’m not asking right now, but it will be soon, trust me.” Of this, you had no doubt. You just hoped you’d be ready with an answer when he did. “But there’s no point in going back to work, only to quit. Besides, I want all your free time.”

“Oh you do, do you?” He was wiggling his eyebrows at you suggestively.

“Why yes, I do. In fact, I was thinking I should probably take you to bed right now.” His fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt. Hands skating up your sides, only to stop short once he reached your bra. “Is this ok? Like it’s not going to hurt the baby or anything?”

The concern on his face was quite evident, you knew he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize the baby any more than you did; even if it meant giving up sex. “It’s ok Ty, I talked to the doctor and there’s no link between miscarriages and sex.”

He picked you up and started back the hallway then. “Well in that case.” Tyler never left your side, until he had practice the following morning. He avoided Jamie at all costs. If Jamie was in the locker room, then Tyler went into the therapy room to get taped up. Thankfully Jamie wasn’t skating with the team just yet, so it was easy to evade him the rest of the time.

You, on the other hand, made sure to check on Jamie every day. There were nights when he would beg you to stay, and as long as Tyler was playing; you’d stay at least until the game was over. Jamie questioned your relationship all the time and it was getting harder and harder to convince him that things were still the same between the two of you, even though you weren’t having sex. But you were pretty confident that Jamie had no clue that you were pregnant, and you hoped it stayed that way.

TYLER’S POV

It’d been two weeks, since (Y/N) told you about the baby. Two long fucking weeks, where you couldn’t say anything to anyone. You knew she was still going over to Jamie’s pretending to be his girlfriend, and it was driving you insane. Every day that you saw him at the rink, you could see the smirk in his eye. As if he had the upper hand when it came to (Y/N). Which was absolutely ridiculous, because Jamie didn’t remember that you had actually dated (Y/N) before him.

It was the first day that Jamie was practicing with the team, though he still wasn’t cleared for full contact. He was skating pretty well for someone that had been off the ice for a while, and you decided to be a little encouraging to your friend. Skating over to the bench, you grabbed a drink from the water bottle before saying, “Looking pretty good out there Chubbs.” He nodded but didn’t say anything more, which seemed a little off. “All those hours at therapy paid off.”

“Yeah that’s what (Y/N) keeps saying.” You had to bite your tongue, when he mentioned (Y/N)’s name. “She’s the real reason why I’m doing so well. If it wouldn’t be for how well she takes care of me; I may have never gotten back on the ice.”

You hoped he didn’t see the eye roll that you just gave them, but then did you really care. “Yeah, she’s amazing,” Bowness called it a day and slowly everyone started filing into the locker room.

“She really is. I’m so lucky that she’s my girlfriend.” Jamie started down the hallway, still talking; so you decided to follow instead of spending some extra time on the ice. “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah man, anything you know that.” Though the answer wasn’t completely true, there were certain things you didn’t want to know about (Y/N)’s relationship with Jamie, that’s for sure.

“I’m going to ask her to marry me.” Did he just say what you thought he said? Your heart was racing with anger. Jamie couldn’t propose to (Y/N), not when she was supposed to be your wife, besides she was carrying your child, not his.

Taking a deep breath in you tried to calm the riot of anger seething at the surface. “Are you sure you want to do that? I thought I heard Klinger say she moved out of your place or something.” You’d kept your distance from Jamie over the last couple weeks since (Y/N) had left him. It wasn’t entirely on purpose, the two of you were just spending more time together, now that she wasn’t under his roof. So there was no need to be at Jamie’s.

“I have a feeling she was just scared I wasn’t ready to commit. I mean we haven’t been dating all that long, but you know this accident has just made me realize how much I need her in my life.” By now you’d reached the outside of the locker room, and the two of you were just standing there while everyone else was inside. Jamie dropped his voice down low so no one would hear, not that anyone was around. “So like don’t say anything, but I think she’s pregnant.” Of course, she was pregnant; with your baby, you wanted to scream, yet you remained silent. When you didn’t say anything, Jamie continued. “I think that’s why she moved out, she was just scared I wouldn’t want the baby, but of course I couldn’t be happier. Once she knows this, I’m sure she’ll be moving back in as well as saying yes when I propose.”

You stood there, anger bubbling to the surface at every word that Jamie spoke. There was no way the mother of your child was going to be marrying someone else. You could almost feel your teeth grinding down to nothing, as you tried to keep your mouth shut.

“I can’t wait to see her pregnant with my baby, and then when she has it…man, it will just be amazing to hold my baby.”

That was it, you were so angry that you felt like a volcano just waiting to erupt; then you did. “It’s not your baby. It’s mine.” Jamie, flinched as if you’d struck him in the face. Then out of know where he punched you. “What the fuck….”And then he hit you again; you had no choice but to defend yourself. You grabbed Jamie by the neck of his practice jersey and pulled your arm back ready to hit him square in the face. When suddenly you stopped.

“What the fuck are you waiting for?” Jamie taunted. “Hit me. You’ve already ruined my fucking life.” You dropped your arm down to your side. There was no point in fighting with Jamie, you’d already won.

“I’m not fighting you, Jamie.”

He shoved you back. “Why the fuck not?” Another push. “I should’ve never taken you to meet her that night.” He shoved you one last time, and then you pressed up against the wall. His forearm pressed against your neck cutting off your oxygen supply. “You could have anyone you want, why does it have to be (Y/N)? Why did have to go behind my back and fuck the woman I love?”

“I love her too.” You choked out, as you noticed a few of your teammates milling about watching the exchange between yourself and their captain.

“Fuck that shit. You don’t deserve her after everything you did.” Wait what did Jamie just say. Did he have his memory back? He would have to if he knew what happened between you and (Y/N). Bringing your hands up, you shoved Jamie off of you, catching him off guard with your sudden attack.

“You remember,” You hissed out low for only him to hear. The shock in Jamie’s eyes told you that you had guessed right, but there was something else there, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Then it clicked. “You’ve been lying the whole time.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jamie tried to cover.

“You bastard. You’ve been lying to her the whole time.” He tried to feign innocence but you weren’t having it. Your fist connected with his jaw before you knew what you were doing and you saw Jamie stumble back before falling to the ground. You were so filled with rage, you had no control over your body, as you landed on top of him hitting him with another blow. It wasn’t until Rads pulled you off and the medical staff came running to attend Jamie, that you could even start to see straight.

“Jesus, what the fuck are you two fighting about?” Bowness asked, grabbing you and hauling you off to the corner. “Do you know how bad this looks for the damn organization? The fucking captain and alternate battling it out. Outside the locker room no less? Get your ass in there and have someone look at your fucking eye.” It was only then that you noticed there was blood streaming down your face. You looked at Jamie’s form laying on the ground and just glared it.

It was at that moment that (Y/N) walked in, taking in the whole scene. “What the hell is going on?”

“It’s not what it looks like?” You tried to explain but you could tell how pissed she was. “What are you doing here?”

“Bish called me, he heard you and Jamie fighting.” She looked over at Jamie who was being dragged off the floor, barely able to stand on his own.

“Are you ok?” She rushed over to his side but looked at you as she said. “Did you do this?”

“It’s not what you think, let me explain.”

Jamie chose that moment to finally speak. “Who are you?” He looked down at (Y/N) as he asked the question. “Where am I?” You saw red, and it wasn’t from the blood running down your face.

“Oh my god!” (Y/N) gasped. “Jame, it’s me. It’s (Y/N).”

He tested her name on his lips as if he hadn’t heard her name before. “Do I know you?”

“We need to get him to the hospital.”

“There’s no point (Y/N). He’s been faking it the whole time.” It felt good to say it out loud. That was until you looked at (Y/N), and saw only disappointment in her eyes. Which would be ok, if it wasn’t directed at you. “It’s true (Y/N). He admitted it.” He hadn't really, but you knew it was the truth.

Jamie didn’t say a word, just held a hand to his head, as if he was in extreme pain. “I don’t want to hear it right now Tyler.” She turned her full attention toward Jamie. “I think you need to go to the hospital.” She ran a hand through his hair from where you hit him the second time. “Would you let me take you there? I know you don’t remember me, but I’m your girlfriend Jamie.” He looked at her with a blank stare, and your blood boiled. “You know what, why don’t you just let one of the guys take you?”

“No, no. It’s ok. I believe you.” He told her, now leaning heavily on her. The fact that he was taking advantage of (Y/N) while she was pregnant with your child, made you want to lay him flat out on the ground again. “I’ll go with you.”

“(Y/N) please just listen to me.” You grabbed her hand to stop her, while Jamie held on to her other one. "Jesus, would you just tell her the truth."

 "I don't know what you're talking about." Jamie pulled her closer to him, and you tugged at her again.

 "I'm done with this Jamie. Tell (Y/N) the truth now." It was in that moment that Jamie stepped forward at the same time you did, the act pushing (Y/N) and causing her to fall on the ground.

 "Argh!" She yelled grabbing her stomach and your heart dropped.

Now it’s your turn for some choices:

   A)  Tyler rushes to be at (Y/N)'s side to see how she is and take care of her first.

   B)   Jamie rushes to be at (Y/N)'s side to see how she is and take care of her first.    C)   (Y/N)'s had enough of the two of them fighting and ask someone else to take her to the hospital to check on the baby.    D)   (Y/N) loses the baby.

[matrixaffiliate]

Endeavor

Chapter Update! FFN and AO3

I hope you have a fabulous week because you're a wonderful person! Our next update will be on Friday, October 2nd!

Chapter 12

"Have you been reading my detailed comments?" Ted asked as his thumb drew patterns on the back of Vic's hand. He'd read straight through her novel two weeks ago, then went back and had been spending the last week adding comments to her document.

Vic rolled her eyes as they walked up the drive to the Potter's home and tried to calm the nervous feeling that was trying to overpower her. Nervous because knowing she and Ted had been invited as a couple seemed to put a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach.

"Ted, you're leaving comments on every paragraph. How do you expect me to read that many comments? It's a hundred-thousand-word document! Especially with starting my new editing job on Monday?"

"You're an author, doesn't that mean you love to read every critique of the work you create?" He teased.

Vic shoved his shoulder with hers but smiled.

"You're ridiculous, you know?"

"Yes, but you're the one holding my hand, so where does that leave you?"

"Nervous about being here tonight as your girlfriend rather than only their niece," she admitted quietly.

"Hey," Ted stopped them and pulled her into him, "Harry and Ginny love you and there is no way they aren't happy for us, so please try to trust that they aren't out to get you."

Vic nodded but she couldn't shake the feeling that everyone was out to make Ted see what a bad choice he made in giving her a chance.

Ted rapped his knuckles against the old door and they were both swept into a warm hug once Ginny opened.

"Vicky! Teddy! Come in, come in!"

"Thanks, Ginny," Ted grinned as he kicked off his shoes. "You should know that Mum and Dad are going to be supremely jealous when I tell them I brought Vic here before I brought her home to meet them."

Ginny shook her head at his teasing. "Teddy, dear, Victoire is my niece. I knew her for two decades before you did."

"But you also knew me for the same time before Vic knew me, so I'd say it cancels that out." Ted grinned.

Ginny looked heavenward and laughed. "Why do the Marauders have to leave their mark on every male in this family?" She turned to Vic. "Would you believe that even my sweet Al was trying to be a smart mouth the other day?"

Vic laughed, feeling the nervous pit in her stomach start to ease just a bit.

"Al? Really?"

"Al's better at it than the rest of us." Ted walked with them into the kitchen. "He's more like my dad, and Dad always manages to get the best of the other three brothers."

"Heaven help me, then," Ginny chuckled.

"Why ask for heaven's help when I'm right here?" Harry winked at her as she moved to help him with dinner.

"You're a legacy of the problem, love." Ginny leant over and kissed his cheek.

"Ginny is bemoaning the way the Marauders are rubbing off on Al." Teddy sat down at the table and pulled Vic down with him.

"Bemoaning?" Ginny's eyebrows shot up and she turned to glare at Ted.

Vic covered her smile with her hand.

"I'm a simple man, Ginny," Ted grinned, "I use simple words."

Harry turned and Vic could see he was putting a great deal of effort into not laughing.

"You're in an odd humor today, Ted."

Ted shrugged, "I'm happy."

Then he grinned over at Vic and squeezed her thigh. Vic felt the shy smile break across her face and knew there was no way she could stop it.

"Hands above the table!" Jamie shouted behind them, causing Vic to almost fall off her chair.

Vic turned to glare at her cousin feeling her face heat up, unconsciously directing some of her anxiety into the anger that bubbled at his surprising her.

"Are you going to make a habit of tormenting us every chance you get?" She shot at him. Why couldn't Jamie just leave her alone?

"Whoa," Jamie held up his hands, "I'm just playing Vicky, you know it's all in good fun."

Vic huffed, "You've never done this to me before."

"Yeah, well, Sean was a bit of a prick."

Vic felt like Jamie had just kicked her in the chest. She knew she and Sean hadn't been right for each other, but she hadn't thought he was an awful person.

"James!" Ginny gave her son a pointed stare.

"What?" Jamie defended as he pulled a soda can out of the fridge. "We all knew he was; it just took Vicky a while to see it. But she saw the light in the end and now she's with Ted and we can all breathe easy again."

Vic dropped her eyes down and realized she was wringing her hands. Did everyone feel that she had been dating a prick? Was the whole family talking about her poor choices behind her back, not saying anything because they all believed she wouldn't listen to reason? If everyone knew Sean was awful, why had no one made a point of showing her?

"Why don't you see if Al or Lily needs anything, Jamie?" Harry stepped between his eldest son and his wife, who was staring at the teen with menacing eyes.

Jamie glanced between his mum and Vic and then looked at his dad. "Yeah, good idea."

"Are you going to talk to him?" Ginny turned her dangerous glare to Harry.

"I'll talk him through it, love," Harry soothed, giving her a quick kiss. Ginny pursed her lips before seeming to decide to let it lie for now.

"I'm sorry," Vic kept her focus down at the table. "I shouldn't have goaded him."

"You're fine, Vic," Ted moved his arm to wrap it around her shoulders. "We're all a bit difficult when we're teenagers."

Vic bit her lip and leant into him, trying to take as much comfort as she possibly could in the warmth of his embrace.

"Are you excited about your new job?" Ginny asked in an attempt to change the subject.

Vic smiled, "I am, but I'm a little nervous too. I didn't really think that I'd get this one when you sent it to me. Most people I know write for a long time before they become assistant editors."

"But you have been writing dear," Ginny handed Harry the oven mitts and he pulled out the shepherd's pie that Grandma Molly made him teach her how to make. "You were the sole creator of Ron's initial website for his new company, all that text was put there by you. You handled the blog, you handled the page information, that site was all you."

"Plus your book," Ted added. "That's a lot of writing experience."

Vic started to object again but Ginny held up her hand.

"You'll do just fine, dear. I've known Emmeline for almost as long as I've known Harry, she wouldn't have hired you if she didn't think you were right for the job."

Vic nodded, but she still felt nervous. Why did it feel like everything made her nervous these days? Harry moved the large pie to the table and Vic tried to use it as a way to change the subject. She was done having the conversation revolve around her questionable life choices

"This is one of my favorite meals." She gestured to the shepherd's pie.

Ted hummed his agreement. "Aunt Lily's shepherd's pie is pretty amazing."

"I thought it was Uncle Harry's recipe?" Vic turned to him, grateful that Ted pushed the conversation away from the topics that made her stomach clench.

"Who do you think taught me how to make it?" Harry chuckled.

"I guess I forget sometimes that you and my aunts have families outside of us." Vic felt a bit sheepish. "I'm sure Aunt Hermione and the rest of them have recipes that are their parents' too, huh?"

Ginny laughed loud and Harry smiled at Vic's confused face. "Have you ever noticed that your Aunt Hermione doesn't tend to cook much? Yes, her parents have recipes they've passed down, but they've passed them down to Ron. Hermione hates cooking."

Vic chuckled and was grateful when Ginny suggested she and Ted collect her cousins for dinner. And thankfully the Potter brood managed to keep the conversation spinning well enough that Vic was able to just sit back and enjoy. But her initial feeling of dread seemed well justified when Uncle Harry asked her to help him with getting the pudding out later that evening.

"Vicky," Harry handed her a stack of plates, "How are things?"

"Fine," Vic took the plates and set them out on the table, trying for all the world to look unconcerned as she pointedly ignored the clenching feeling in her stomach and the way her heart beat harder in her chest.

"Vic, we love you, you know that, right?"

She nodded, still refusing to look her uncle in the eye.

"Then what's going on? You've been really reserved and jumpy tonight."

Vic bit her lip and tried for boldness, but when she met Uncle Harry's gaze, she realized how foolish an idea that had been. She was not strong enough to shrug this off while looking him in the eye.

"Are you unhappy with Teddy?" Harry pressed.

"No!" Vic felt the air rush out of her.

"Well, then what's going on?"

Vic bit her lip before falling into one of the chairs and wrapping her arms around her waist.

"You know what happened before we got together. Aren't you worried about Ted being with me?"

Harry stared at her blankly. "I'm sorry, that one completely missed me."

"Harry, I was encouraging Ted's flirting while I was dating and engaged to Sean. Wouldn't you be worried if Jamie started dating someone you knew wasn't faithful to their previous relationship?" Vic didn't dare look up at her uncle. She almost expected him to go talk to Ted then and now and convince him to wash his hands of her.

"What does Teddy say about what you're getting at here?" Harry came to sit across from her.

Vic shook her head. "He keeps telling me that I'm crazy."

"Then I'm going to side with Teddy."

Vic squeezed her arms tighter around herself. "You mean how everyone sided with me while I was in a relationship that I shouldn't have been in?"

Harry sighed. "Vicky, we love you, and if you had decided you did love Sean, then we would have done what we could to support you in that relationship."

"Even though everyone thought he was a prick? Even though it would have been bad for me to stay with him?" Vic finally looked up at Harry.

"Vicky, one of the things that come with being an adult is that the grown-ups that raised you have to back off and let you make your own decisions, and let you deal with whatever those consequences happen to be. We all still want to help you, and we may make suggestions along the way, but we can't dictate your lives. How else will you learn other than having to make your decisions and live with the consequences of them?"

"So, even if being with me is bad for Ted, you'll not try to stop him?"

Harry chuckled, "I've not seen Ted happier than I see him now with you, but yes, even if he was unhappy, I wouldn't try to sabotage your relationship with him. If he came to me for help, I would definitely try to help him find happiness, but I would never tell him to break off a relationship. Those sorts of decisions are personal ones, and they have to come from the individual."

Vic took a deep breath and forced herself to ask one last question. "What about the rest of your family, would they do the same thing?"

"Who do you think taught me that when a kid becomes an adult the grown-ups have to let them learn from their own choices?"

"So, no one is going to try and talk Ted out of being with me?"

"No, Vicky, I think the only person you need to be concerned about in that area is yourself."

Vic blinked, "What?"

"If you can't believe that you're worthy of being loved, then sooner or later, you'll be the one to walk away."

Vic sat in stunned silence as her uncle's words washed over her, but before she could respond, Lily came bounding in asking if it was time for dessert yet.

Uncle Harry's comment felt an awful lot like the list that her mum had written several months ago. She really wished that everyone would stop trying to vaguely point her in the right direction and just tell her what she needed to do. But Harry's comment about loving herself made her feel suddenly exposed in the worst way. She wanted to put on a sweatshirt and curl under a blanket. Why did the concept of loving herself make her want to find a rock to hide under? Vic realized it was probably close to the same reason that her mum's list made her want to tear the page out of her notebook and burn it.

"You ok?" Ted pulled her into him as they walked from the Potter's to his car. "You've been pretty quiet tonight."

Vic rested her head against his shoulder and sighed, "I'm starting to realize that I might have farther to go than I think I want to."

"You missed me," Ted leant back against his car and pulled her close to his chest. Vic let her arms snake around his neck and tried to enjoy the feeling of being wrapped up in Ted's embrace.

"My mum, and Uncle Harry, both seem to think that I've got some personal growth I could be doing, and I'm feeling like what they're suggesting is more than I might be able to handle."

"How can I help?" Ted dropped his face and nuzzled her cheek with his nose.

"I don't even know where to start, Ted, let alone how you could help."

Ted pulled his chin down her cheek, his five o'clock shadow pulling a giggle out of her.

"Well, maybe we sit down together, look at where you are, and see if between the two of us we can find a way forward, along with how I can help."

Vic bit her lip and pulled back to look at him. "This is scary."

"My mum says that most things that are worthwhile are scary." Ted soothed as he rubbed his hands up and down her back. "But you don't have to do it alone. Scary things aren't so bad when we do them with other people."

"Are you some self-exploratory expert then?"

Ted laughed and brought his lips to hers. Vic pulled closer, pressing up on her toes to deepen the kiss.

"There's the real Vic, I knew she couldn't have gone far." Ted murmured against her.

"What does that even mean?" She chuckled.

"You go get things, Vic. I'm not a self-help expert, but I know that you go get what you want, and that's the only thing you really need." Then he nipped at her ear. "And I'm never going to turn down excuses to spend more time with you."

He kissed down her neck and Vic hummed as her fingers moved through his turquoise hair.

"We should probably stop snogging out here," she sighed as he slowly moved his lips closer to hers. "I'm waiting for Jamie to come out and yell at us to stop."

Ted smirked as he pulled back, "You're probably right, but this is why I have a flat of my own."

"Why don't we take advantage of that before you take me home?" Vic finally started to feel more herself as Ted's appreciative hum vibrated in his chest against hers.

"See every now and again you have these amazing ideas and I end up wondering how I ever managed to make it this far without you."

"You're ridiculous," she pressed forward again, running her tongue against his lips.

"And you're kissing me," Ted murmured, pulling her flush against him and moving a hand to her hair.

"Will you two get a room!?" Jamie yelled from his bedroom window, looking down at the two of them in the front-drive.

"We were just on our way out, Jamie," Ted called back up to him as he reached behind him to open the car door.

When she finally made it home, Victoire opened up the notebook that had her mum's notes in it and read them again.

You and your desires are important.

You are a good person.

You are brave.

You must decide your life's story.

A few lines underneath them she added Uncle Harry's advice.

If you can't believe that you're worthy of being loved, then sooner or later, you'll be the one to walk away.

She didn't feel any closer to finding herself, but seeing it all laid out in front of her, she realized that Uncle Harry's words had given her a bit of direction. Maybe if she could just believe these things, then maybe it would help her see the way forward. And knowing that Ted was going to try and help her made her feel a little less like she was floundering.

Vic was pulled from her internal struggle by the chime of her text message notification.

Ted: Have you read my comments yet?

She laughed and pulled her laptop to her.

Vic: I was just about to start.

Ted's typing bubble made her giddy.

Ted: Good. I think you're going to like what I've put so far.

Vic typed in her password and waited for her computer to log in.

Vic: I'm sure that I'll wonder if we're reading the same document.

She bit her lip and smiled. Teasing Ted was almost as much fun as kissing him.

Ted: Stop that. Go read my comments and you'll see this story of yours is going to be big.

Vic rolled her eyes and opened her browser.

Vic: You have to say that, you're my boyfriend.

Ted's response was almost instant.

Ted: No, I have to say it because it's true. Now stop texting me and start reading. ;)

Vic opened the document and sighed. She hadn't read through her story in almost a year now. It felt like going back to an old childhood favorite food and it made her nervous. She'd liked some pretty awful things when she was a kid, some good things too, but a lot of things that now she found repugnant. Was she about to find out that she had spent three years on something that she now hated? Vic tried to breathe through the anxiety and took a deep breath.

"Let's get this over with." And she started reading.

[saint-patrice]

In light of this post, about different types of ways you may feel about your favourite hockey players, getting an awful lot more notes than expected, I thought it would be fun to have a more detailed look into what kind of responses people were giving! I accidentally deleted the damn thing a few months ago and it took me a while to find it again, but on the plus side it accrued a lot more notes during that time - I have responses from 150 people, covering 119 different hockeys! This is pretty long, so all the good stuff is below the cut :)

So, as I said, there were responses from 150 different people (thank you all) - 119 individual names were mentioned for a total of 429 answers, accounting for 25 NHL teams. I’m going to link the Google Sheet at the end of the post, but first I thought I’d go through some of it :)

There is obviously going to be some bias towards the teams I am about on my blog since that’s where the post originated from, but with that many responses, the results are pretty varied. Anyway,

First are some of the most common players assigned to option one, which, as per the post, was “he’s perfect and i will not hear otherwise. i look at him like he hung the moon, because quite frankly, he probably did. he is the lord’s perfect creation and i would happily die defending his honor.” 

As you can see Jamie Benn is the pretty clear winner, and very satisfyingly so, as he has the same number of votes as his jersey number. From what I’ve seen, Stars fans are very passionate about their captain and I love that! I don’t think there’s really any surprise appearances on here, although I wasn’t expecting Crosby’s name to crop up this much, maybe that’s just because I’m not necessarily a Pens fan. These are just the most common answers. People’s opinions were far more varied on this than the other option; on a quick count, I tallied 75 individual players being named for this one! As a result, most players that were mentioned in this category only appeared once or twice, like Ben Bishop or Seth Jones (both good choices). There does appear to be a considerable bias towards Canadians, with (if I’m right) 10 appearing on this graph. The rest of the players are European, so not much love for the Americans…interesting.

Category 2: “this little bastard creature. how dare he. how dare he make me love him. he’s a gremlin that’s crawled up from the depths of hell and i hate him with all my heart even though i love him. he’s the literal worst man alive.”

 People were much more in agreement on this option - even as I was typing up the answers it was clear that TK and Seguin were almost unanimous across hockeyblr. It doesn’t seem to matter which team you support, you probably hold a little bit of rage for one of them anyway. 

I think Nolan Patrick making a pretty even appearance on both lists is interesting, and I can’t say that EJ or Jimmy Vesey were names I expected to see mentioned here. Matthew Tkachuk’s Friendship Tour runs rife even on Tumblr, it would appear. Most people probably would have predicted a lot of these names for this one.

(This post is from a fair few months ago, and from a quick scroll through the tags it does appear that most mentions of AMatthews are from before the allegations surfaced in September. Just something to note.)

This is where things get interesting - I noticed some players were appearing numerous times for both categories, so I thought I’d pick out some of the most common ones, and see how opinions were split. Of the 38 times Travis Konecny was mentioned, only 2 people thought he belonged to category 1 (represented by the green bar), so I hope those people are out there living their truths. Seguin showed a similar pattern, whilst Barzal, Patrick, and Tom Wilson had opinions split close to 50/50. Surprisingly, Marchand was deemed more “perfect” than “gremlin” but that may be the result of this post being circulated a fair amount among Bruins blogs. That being said, and we’ll get onto it in a second, it does appear that hockey fans on Tumblr were fairly evenly represented in this, so maybe not.

This is a summary of how the number of players mentioned were distributed by team. There’s some more info in the Google Sheet about how many players represented each team - e.g. the Capitals, despite only making up 7% of answers, had the most players mentioned at 14! This chart is interesting, and in my experience a reasonable portrayal of hockeyblr, although a few teams are probably a little under-represented. That being said, it is probably more reflective of hockeyblr on the whole rather than on a team-by-team basis. Players who tend to be pretty popular, or at least subversive, regardless of your allegiance - Konecny, Seguin, Marner - have definitely influenced this.

The Hurricanes, Red Wings, Kings, and Lighting have been omitted from the above chart as their players were only named once or twice, and so amounted to 0% in the grand scheme of things. No players from Ducks, Oilers, Panthers, Canadiens, Senators, and Winnipeg were mentioned at all. The Ducks and Senators weren’t really too shocking, but I did expect to see a player or two from the others in there. I would assume this is a result of those fanbases not being all that big on here. 

That’s all I’m going to get into here, but the whole workbook can be found of Google Sheets through this link: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1cUFz4eSM_j-Ipjz7lhsAkaXqpw5M_08NcYiWBM1Zxec/edit?usp=sharing

It has all of the tables I made the graphs/charts from, as well as the whole list of the responses, some of which gave me a good laugh. And like I said, there’s some info on how teams were portrayed which might be of interest. It’s certainly not an exhibition on how you should be presenting your data, but it gets the point across :)

Thank you again for the awesome response to that dumbass post, and thank you to anyone who has read this far! I spent way too long on this so I really really appreciate it. That being said, it was good fun, so please feel free to let me know if you enjoyed reading this :^)

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

[marcazoshop]

I Am A Simple Woman Dog Paw Flip-Flop Wine Trucker T-Shirt

This photo is from way back in ’98 at my first headline nyc show at tramp’s before the start of this very wild ride with the slim shady lp with jimmy and dr dre definitely a I Am A Simple Woman Dog Paw Flip-Flop Wine Trucker T-Shirt special time I looked back on after watching the premiere of thedefiantones in la the series starts on hbo tomorrow night also be on the lookout for this limited merch to celebrate the premiere. ️ ️ ️ ️ ️ no one has to know your age unless you want to share says fan linda about her eye lift pro experience what else gives you a lift our vote goes to chocolate chip cookies comment below your avon representative is ready to come 2therescue with your eye lift pro. Playing the super bowl last year was indescribable it changed my life so excited to see what justin s going to do I know it will be amazing sb52 superbowl superbowl52

Source: I Am A Simple Woman Dog Paw Flip-Flop Wine Trucker T-Shirt

I Am A Simple Woman Dog Paw Flip-Flop Wine Trucker T-Shirt, Hoodie, Sweater, Longsleeve T-Shirt For Men and Women

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Today in 2000 the I Am A Simple Woman Dog Paw Flip-Flop Wine Trucker T-Shirt it s gonna be me video made its world premiere on total request live with 28 days at no 1 it was the summer s most requested video. Limited edition and fresh picked for spring meet the newest honest diaper collection available now exclusively for subscribers update your bundle or get started here. So this is going to be a bit long but bear with me I had what I believe to be a pointless and incredibly frustrating experience with the assistant manager jamie at your auburn hills great lakes crossing location today I have been coming here for three years I frequent your orlando san marcos and new jersey locations as well at least once a year when we stop we usually spend 5 to 10 thousand dollars on your products the system is simple I go in park in a corner and bring bins to my corner sort them bag them move them to the front register and repeat today I brought a personal duffel bag as it holds about 8 to 12 of your bags worth of stuff I get told that i’m not allowed to use it because it’s policy not a big deal at all I say okay i’ll do that for the rest rather than rebag all of this i’ll just go up in line and pay for it and it can sit behind the counter seems pretty reasonable to me nope I got obstructed suggested that I might be stealing something and not allowed to pass stating if I don’t want to follow the system I can leave he then takes my entire duffel dumps it onto the floor and then rebags it into victoria secret bags then moves it to the front counter so it can be rang in I thought this was a little odd but hey he was doing all the work rebagging it so whatever i’m like dude i’m going to be spending about 8k today all I want to do is come in spend some money get out without any drama what’s the problem whoevers in charge should be thrilled with a sale like this we’re spending 8k keep in mind that I told him that I would do what he wanted and it wasnt’ a big deal and the response was to the effect of stop being lippy and just listen I told him what do you want from me I just agreed with you and said I would use your bags i’m not being lippy at all I know this because I said okay dude not a problem i’ll use your bags his response was maybe if you get to buy it i’m like what are you suggesting that an 8 000 order is something you guys don’t want he’s like yeah if you buy it i’m like dude we are spending 8k today why would I bag up a bunch of stuff and spend 2 3 hours picking our your fabulous product to not buy it anyway so I had 4 credit cards one card had 2 000 one had 3500 one had 2000 and one had 1000 because I am buying for multiple people I had 4 different cards all in my name I wanted one receipt for each card not a big deal to me right wrong again he cited some policy and said if the order is more than 750 items that they aren’t allowed to ring in under 750 items on any one receipt id like to point out that that amount is higher than your employees said they could take as a cash payment I asked him to please show me that I would understand better if I could just read it he was willing to do so he brought out the policy book and to my surprise what it actually said was words to the afffect of cash payments cannot be split up or over 750 items I forget the second half my immediate reply was so what’s the big deal im using credit not cash he snatched the policy book away from me at that point and said you know what you can just listen to me or I don’t have to let you buy anything it’s up to my discretion I then called your orlando outlet and your new jersey outlet and talked to the store managers and cited your policy I was given I asked them to confirm if that was accurate and both said if it was a policy it was news to them I then asked if they would let me buy my order using 4 cards and 4 receipts the woman at orlando said oh my gosh yes we do that every single day I asked if I went to her store if I would have any trouble with this in the future and was told no then she said you can always come down here if you’re in the area and i’ll be happy to take your order after that phone call I tried again here’s the video of that attempt I said listen I have 4 credit cards your register girl said you told her she can’t ring up an order under 750 items that’s 3500 if it’s 5 items not all of my cards have that much I have done multiple receipts every time I came here heck I can even supply them to show it he tells me that because I am order so many items that I can’t have less tan 750 items per receipt so I point around to everyone else and ask what about everyone else you aren’t forcing them to spend a minimum of 750 items what about the final charge i’ll have 750 items for two tickets but the leftover isn’t going to be 750 items you’re not going to let me buy them he shrugged his shoulders to say no at this point I haven’t yelled ive been a bit snarky and sarcastic because I know he’s just giving me a hard time two people ring in our order almost every time I am up there and we were there 3 times in the last 6 months spent a bunch each time so at 730 8pm or so we are done shopping assuming that two people could ring us up ended up being a fantasy he forced one employee only to ring us up later on he comes up when its now close to 9pm and says hey you mind if we ring you up on both registers I chuckle and say no I don’t but you do you don’t want to be breaking that 750 rule do you he glared at me and then sent the employee away and walked off after blinking a few times I laugh because after telling me over and over he couldn’t do it he just got caught trying to do what should have been done to begin with a short while later after 9 I find out that everyone is standing uip front except for the one girl and another associate because none of the rest of them are allowed to help her ring us up the only two people left in the store with about 700 more items to be rang in if that’s not enough since it was a holidy all of these employees are apparently being paid overtime to stand around and wait at a bit after 10 all but two girls leave and one girl is waiting to count cash while the other girl sits and keeps ringing stuff in we apologize profusely we expected two employees to ring us up like always and timed our visit to be out around 9 if this had happened instead of having one literally stand there and watch her for 1 hour and 47 minutes after close we would have all been out on time and no overtime or extra hours spent so finally at 10 47 pm our orders are done we thank the lovely girl lauren and jasmine who got stuck staying 2 hours past close because a manager made up some random policy and had to double down when I pointed out he really needed to follow that 750 rule when he was going to toss another girl on the register if this is policy fine it doesn’t seem to be no manager at your other outlets knew what he was talking about the orlando one insisted that the only restrictions are on cash payments and verified I was paying cash or credit it’s a pretty humiliating experience to get hassled trying to buy panties and bras by someone who’s on some type of power trip the only thing I said sideways to him was that I flat out didn’t believe his policy and that credit absolutely is not the same as cash I didnt call him any names scream at him or did anything to disrupt the store beyond what you see in the videos if this is not policy i’d like an apology from that manager in person or over the phone admitting he was mistaken I would hope that the next time I go there I am not hassled but if not I guess there’s always orlando or new jersey who seem to be quite friendly I also want to give recognition to jasmine and lauren lauren is the poor soul who got stuck ringing everything in alone because of the manager’s silly rule and not allowing anyone to help because it would be in violation of the 750 item rule jasmine was the cash counter who had to wait until we were out of the store to count cash even more interesting is that I had a former employee with me helping me buy and she said she never heard of this policy either but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t added since she left she was just as confused because the manager spent over 30 minutes trying to explain and defend this when that time certainly would have been more efficiently spent doing productive things instead of hassling someone who literally sits in a corner and speaks to no one while sorting through your products one bin at a time id love a call back about this or to find out what exactly is going on ive never been hassled like this before and it was a little frustrating and very trying to keep my cool joe rossetti alexandria gunn See Other related products: I Am A Simple Woman Dog Paw Flip-Flop Wine Trucker T-Shirt

[staycatcher]

Anguish 001- Anguish

“Out  of  genuine  free  will,  I,  Lee  Minho,  exercise  the  divine  right  to  reject  my  sacredly  designed  soulmate.”

Member: Lee  Minho / Lee  Know  x  Femme  Reader  (she / her)

Au: Frat Boi! Minho  +  Rejected  Soulmate  AU

Genre: Angst  (some  comedy?,,  this  series  is  gonna  be  angsty  because  of  the  whole  ‘rejected  soulmate’  thing)

Rated  T  for  a  whole  lotta  swearing,  a  frat  party,  crowds,  usage  of  alcohol  and  mentions  of  drugs,  intensity,  reader  is  a  bit  socially  anxious (please  lmk  if  any  other  warnings  are  needed!💞🥺)

Word Count:  4k  &  manually  double  spaced  between  words  &  paragraphs  for  ease  of  reading!!!!🥵🤠🥰

Note: this is dedicated to @trixareforlix, they’re the first-ever friend I made on here and they’re the one who sparked this frat au idea!! Ilysm always angel!!<33

Edited: 201015 (Original: 190813 )

Anguish series 1/?-  ~001~, 002

The  anticipated  day  where  you’d  become  magnetized,  the  world  around  you  becoming  a  blur,  your  heart  falling  into  perfect  sync  with  the  one  destined  for  you  truly… was  not  like  that  at  all,  actually!  No,  the  stars  were  cruel  to you,  perhaps  you  did  something  awful  in  your  past  life  to   deserve  this,  but  maybe  what  is  more  likely  is  that  your  soulmate’s  just  an  asshole.  After  all,  one’s  soulmate  was  the  complete  opposite  of  one’s  self.  Soulmates  were  the  yin  to  one’s  yang  and  vice  versa  and  all  that.  To  keep  one  balanced,  or  whatever. 

Now,  you  aren’t  the  angel  everyone  may  claim  you  to  be.  You  weren’t  angelic,  not  at  all.  Eating  ice  cream  for  breakfast  was  not  above  you.  Your  nail  polish  was  perpetually  chipped.  You  couldn’t  stand  to  keep  your  hair  in  the  same  style  for  too  long;  chopping  it  all  off  or  seeing  how  long  it  could  grow,  dying  it  as  bright  as  you  could,  and  everything  in  between.  You  adorned  yourself  with  two  or  three  more  piercings  than  your  parents  could  get  behind,  bless  them,  you’re  beginning  to  have  trouble  hiding  your  new  tattoo.  Habitually,  you  were  sensitive,  soft,  a  bit  emotional,  and  tended  to  be  a  bit  of  a  smartass.  You  weren’t  blessed  with  physical  grace,  ceaselessly  tripping  over  yourself,  spilling  and  knocking  over  anything  in  your  path,  and  dancing  out  of  beat  to  blasted  songs. 

More  often  than  not,  you  would  go  to  bed  later  than  planned.  Tonight  was  one  of  those  nights,  but  it  was  not  because  of  your  natural  preference.  You  were  not  too  figuratively  dragged  into  this  by  someone  who  held  the  title  of  your  best  friend,  someone  whom  you  were  currently  thinking  of  ways  of  revoking  that  title  from. 

  “C’mon,  dummy!  We’re  almost  there!”  Jamie  elbowed  you,  her  eyes  crinkled  in  laughter,  whacking  you  on  the  back  a  bit  too  hard. 

 “Jamie,  I  must’ve  forgotten,  but  why’re  you  even  dragging me  to  this  frat  party  again?  Why  not  just  go  to  your  sorority  instead?”  You  groaned,  your  two  left  feet  were  dragging  behind  you  on  the  aged  sidewalk,  your  fake  Doc  Martens  feeling  like  cinder  blocks. 

“‘Cause  Chris  invited  me  and  he’s  being  a  little  bitch  about  it  because  I  keep  canceling  on  ‘im!  He  keeps  saying  that  my  soulmate  might  be  there!”  She  reminded  you  for  the  umpteenth  time,  rolling  her  head  and  eyes  back  in  frustration,  sighing  before  continuing.  “And  now  it’s  like-  I  might  as  well  try  and  see!  I  mean,  come  on!~  I’m  starting  to  think  he’s  right!”  And  for  the  umpteenth  time  today,  you  question  why  she’s  falling  for  this.  She’s  sharper  than  this.  But  for  some  reason,  just  this  once,  she  found  a way  to  shoehorn  Chris’s  dumbassery  to  logic. 

 In  reality,  you  could  meet  your  soulmate  at  any  time  or  place,  so  to  say  that  one's  soulmate  might  be  there  is  like  saying  it  might  rain.  Sure,  it  might.  But  it  also  can  rain  in  any  season  so  you  can’t  be  wrong  with  saying  that  it  might.  It  doesn’t  always  rain  every  day,  all  the  time,  so  it  also  isn’t  that  likely.  Rain  depends  on  a  lot  more  factors.  But  right  now,  you’re  a  little  buzzed,  so  it  sounded  pretty  sound. 

 “So  he  knows  your  soulmate?” 

 “I’d  hope  so!  If  not,  I’d  rip  his  bleached  hay-hair  right  out  of  his  thick  skull!”  Now,  this  is  the  Jamie  you  knew  and  loved,  you  couldn't  help  the  endeared  smile  on  your  face.  “When  we  could’ve  been  eating  takeout  and  watching  a  musical-“

 “So  which  frat  are  we  going  to  again?”  You  had  to  interrupt  her  for  her  sake.  Takeout  and  a  movie  would  always  remain  superior  to  parties  in  your  mind  and  you  already  didn’t  want  to  be  accompanying  her  to  a  frat  house. 

 “Hmm…  It’s  like-  uh...  Signal  kite  zing-  wait  no-  hold  on-“

You  guys  must  be  tipsier  from  the  pregaming  than  you  thought.  “Sigma?  ‘Signal’  isn’t  greek,  I  think  you  mean  sigma!  And  ‘kite’  isn-”

 “Right,  whatever!  Anyways,  the  abbreviation  is  SKZ-“

 “Ohhh!  We’re  friends  with  some  of  them-  We’re  like  best  friends  with  Chris!!  Why  didn’t  you  say  it  was  Chris’s  frat  in  the  first  place?”  Your  laugh  projecting  out  of  you  unattractively  with  claps  and  swings  of  limbs  which  led  to  slapping  a  little  too  hard  at  Jamie's  shoulder.  This  clarification  did  make  you  feel  a  bit  better.  This  wasn’t  a  shitty  fraternity  you  didn’t  know,  this  was  a  shitty  fraternity  you  inevitably  tolerated  since  you  knew  and  even  approved  of  some  of  its  members! 

 SKZ  was  home  to  a  hodgepodge  of  eight  brothers  who  were  pretty  individual  as  far  as  frat  dudes  go.  Some  of  which  you  were  genuinely  fond  of,  like  Chris,  or  simply  acquainted  with,  like  Jisung,  whom  you  shared  a major  and  program  with.  Others,  you  couldn’t  even  remember  the  names  of  or  who  they  are  in  general.  It’s  also  the  smallest  frat  on  campus,  so  they  try  to  get  as  many  people  to  come  to  events  as  possible,  which  is  honestly  exhausting  as  a  concept  to  your  introverted  self.  Thus,  you’ve  never  actually  attended  one  of  theirs  until  now,  now  that  Jamie  is  dragging  you  along  with  her.

 “Ow!  I  don’t  know!~  I  thought  you  were  smart  enough  to  figure  it  out  when  I  mentioned  Chris!”  She  teased,  making  the  two  of  you  laugh  harder,  you  couldn’t  defend  yourself  on  that  one.  The  two  of  you  just  continued  your  idiotic  banter  the  rest  of  the  way  to  the  Sigma  Kappa  Zeta  house  aka  the  SKZ  frat.  

 The  walk  to  SKZ’s  lair  was  a  bit  much,  more  than  you  and  Jamie  bargained  for.  You  were  so  kindly  carrying  her  platforms  for  her  until  she’ll  put  them  back  on  again,  only  for  you  to  probably  end  up  kindly  carrying  them  again  later  tonight.  The  cool  breeze  of  the  September  night  helped  with  the  humidity  and  sweat,  and  the  sun  beautifully  set,  leaving  a  delicate  lilac  color  in  its  wake  which  was  becoming  darker  and  darker  the  further  you  walked.  The  hazy  streetlights  added  to  the  whimsy  atmosphere,  yet  to  be  ruined  with  the  sound  of  an  intolerable  amount  of  bass  and  the  overbearing  smell  of  beer  and  weed  when  the two  of  you  arrived  on  site.  

 “Okay,  I’m  pretty  sure  it’s  this  house!”  Jamie  halted  her  steps,  turning  towards  you,  her  hair  swaying  along  with  the  belled  sleeves  of  her  mesh  turtleneck  she  had  under  her  dress.  The  two  of  you  really  dolled  yourselves  up  for  the  night,  her  hair  was  perfect,  your  hair  was  perfect,  outside  was  perfect,  and  it  brought  you  sobering  back  to  the  not-so-perfect  earth.  The  idea  of  going  inside  a  suffocating,  putrid  house  majorly  crowded  with  drunk  and  hormonal  peers...  was  not  appealing  to  you  in  the  least.   

 “Yup,  and  now  it’s  time  to  turn  back  around!”  You  quipped,  ensnaring  her  arm  with  your  empty  one,  about  to  steer  the  two  of  you  in  a  three-point-turn.  This  was  your  final  chance  at  getting  out  of  your  predicament,  and  now  that  you’re  here  you  regret  playing  along.  Sadly,  Jamie  was  just  as  stubborn  as  you,  and  your  turn  around  was  met  with  a  roadblock. 

 “Oh  my  god,  Y/n,  you’re  joking!  We  walked  the  whole  ass  way  here!”  She  got  out  in  between  puffs  of  airy  frustration,  her  socked  heels  digging  into  the  ground  as  you  attempted,  gracelessly,  to  steer  the  two  of  you  around.    

 “Okay,  okay,  fine.  We  did  come  all  this  way  and  now  our  drinks’ve  worn  off.”  You  acknowledged  with  an  irritated  huff.  “Okay-  how  about  we  go  in  and  get  some  drinks,  and  then  we’ll  leave?!”  Your  pitch  going  up  with  each  word  of  your  attempt  to  negotiate  before  forcing  out  a  chuckle,  your  laugh  did  its  best  to  hide  the  fact  that  your  body  was  beginning  to  stick  with  sweat  and  anxiety. 

“No,  ‘and  then’  we’ll  find  Chris  to  hook  me  up!”  She  playfully  fought  back  but  it  was  hard  to  take  her  seriously,  or  yourself,  with  how  the  two  of  you  were  laughing,  hers  genuine,  yours  not  so  much.  

 “Jesus  Christ,  you  really  are  set  on  this  ‘finding  your  soulmate’  thing.”  You  breathed.  As  much  as  you  hated  social  gatherings,  you  loved  your  best  friend  much,  much  more,  therefore  you  were  willing  to  be  won  over  in  the  name  of  friendship.  Though,  she  would  owe  you  for  this!  Fortunately  for  her,  food  and  drink  is  fair  trade  in  you  and  your  wallet’s  eyes. 

 “I’m  lonely,  okay!  I’d  prefer  winning  the  lottery  but  this  is  the  next  best  thing!”  Jamie,  as  per  usual,  brought  the  two  you  back  right  to  laughter  instantly.  She  had  her  mind  made  up.  Plus,  with  you  giggling  it  made  it  all  the  easier  for  her  to  haul  the  both  of  you  right  up  the  steps  of  the  SKZ  Frat  House  stairs.   

Once  in,  Jamie  stuck  close  to  your  side,  literally,  but  not  that  she  had  the  natural  choice  or  much  of  an  alternative;  this  place  was  packed  to   the  gills!  Jumping  up  on  her  now  platform  clad  feet,  looking  for  anyone  she  recognized  or  any  signs  of  Chris,  while  you  led  the  two  of  you,  hopefully,  to  a  kitchen.  You  were  practically  kicking  yourself  each  step  of  the  way  as  you  shoved  your  way  through  the  crowd.  The  air  was  stuffy  and  possibly  even  toxic,  to  say  the  least.  The  scent  is  much  more  foul  than  last  you  remember,  pungent  with  alcohol,  sweat,  cigarettes,  weed,  hints  of  puke,  and  dashes  of  all  sorts  of  pheromones.  Despite  the  few  times  you’ve  smelled  this  scent,  it  never  failed  to  make  you  wish  you  didn’t  leave  your  safe,  sanitary  bed.   

 There’s  jabbing  elbows  and  flailing  parts  of  strangers  everywhere  that  had  to  be  watched  out  and  dodged  for,  sloshing  cups,  sometimes  drunken  flirtatious  hands  grabbing  at  you,  not  at  all  fazed  by  the  pretty  companion  you  had  your  elbow  linked  with.  The  sway  of  the  hoards  of  people  was  beginning  to  get  you  motion  sick,  but  you  were  determined  to  keep  wading  through,  trying  to  hike  through  this  high  tide,  but  you  couldn’t  help  but  feel  vulnerable.  You  were  cursed  with  a  soft,  approachable  face  that  just  begged  to  be  messed  with.  Even  in  times  like  these,  where  your  thoughts  are  nothing  short  of  bitchy,  the  message  would  never  get  across  with  a  resting  bitch  face.  Your  love  for  dark  attire  didn’t  matter.  Your  baby  face  and  aura  won  every  match.  Not  even  the  eyeliner  and  dark  lipstick  you  preferred  could  save  you.  All  you  could  do  is  hope  that  your  best  friend’s  intimidation  and  delightfully  loud  presence  was  enough  for  the  two  of  you  as  you  keep  planting  one  foot  after  the  other.  

“Fucking  hell!”  You  barely  gasped  out,  finally  freed  out  of  the  main  room,  and  now  into  the  hallway.  The  seasick  claustrophobia  no  longer  had  its  poisonous  grips  on  your  soft,  easy  to  bruise  skin,  though,  you  did  need  to  catch  your  breath.  

 “Finally!”  Jamie  sighed  loudly  and  melodically,  patting  you  on  the  back  and  easily  recovering.  Before  she  headed  straight  into  the kitchen  to  scope  out  the  place,  possibly  for  anyone  she  knew  and,  perhaps,  her   Special  Someone.  

 “So  did  ya  see  anyone  you  knew,  Jame?”  You  called  after  her  upon  entering  what  appeared  to  be  a  stereotypical  scene  of  the  kitchen  during  a  college  party.  Cliche  red  solo  cups  scattered  everywhere,  filled  at  varying  degrees.  A  beer  keg  or  two,  some  cheap  bottles  of  vodka  splayed  about,  remnants  of  ash  from  blunts,  a  couple  or  two  aggressively  making  out  against  the  wall,  and  four  or  five  random  stragglers  fidgeting  with  their  phone or  talking  overly  loudly  to  each  other.  You  know,  the  usual.  

“Ughh,  no”  She  answered  reluctantly.  “They  have  to  be  somewhere  else,  maybe,  like  upstairs  or  downstairs,  right?!”  

Before  you  could  reply,  behind  you,  you  heard  an  enthusiastic  “Jamie!!”  then  a  muffled,  “you  finally  made  it!!”  The  familiar  voice  had  you  jerking  your  head  to  see  if  your  ears  were  failing  you,  evidently,  they  weren’t.  Right  away  you  see  Chris  tackling  Jamie  in  a  hug  before  he  met  your  eyes  with  his  comically  wide  ones.  

“Aaaahhh!!  Y/n’s  here  too?!”

 “Yeah!  Don’t  we  look  cute?”  Jamie  fluffed  up  her  cropped,  newly  dyed  hair  you  helped  her  do,  yours  also  in  a  similar  state.   

“Yeah,  but  Y/n  looks  better.”  He  teased,  giggling  and  slapping  her  in  the  arm;  unsurprising,  as  it’s  their  usual  fashion.   

“Oh  my  god!  Why  did  I  come  here?!  Okay,  we’ll  leave  then,  Chris.”  Jamie  joked  right  back  at  him,  snatching  at  your  hand  like  it  was  a  prize  to  be  won  and  taking  you  away  with  her.  Unfortunately  for  you,  this  was  just  a  well-meaning  joke,  you  weren’t  going  to  be  set  free  from  a  party  anytime  soon.   

 “Nooo!  Don’t  go!!”  He  dramatized,  grabbing  onto  at  Jamie,  halting  her  from  leaving  with  you  in  tow.  Giggling  so  hard,  he  had  to  throw  his  head  back  to  project  it  all.  You  snorted  a  “thank  you”  a  bit  late,  too  busy  laughing.  He  just  gave  you  a  brotherly  slap  on  the  arm,  on  his  way  to  leave  before  Jamie  stopped  him.  

“Wait!  What  about  my  soulmate?  You  said  they'd  be  here,  remember!”  

“Oh?”  Chris’s  eyebrows  scrunched  in  confusion,  Jamie  nodded  with  stern  wide  eyes  which  seemed  to  spark  back  his  doubtful  memory,  “Ahhh…  downstairs…  maybe…  I  think-  hangin’  out!  There’s  a  game  about  to  start-  Oh,  yeah!  That’s  why  I’m  here-”  he  giggled  to  himself,  “to  get  this!”  He  then  snatched  a  full  bottle  of  vodka  from  a  sneaky  cabinet  you  didn’t  know  about  before  ushering  you  guys  along  to  follow  him.  Honestly,  Chris  didn’t  make  it  sound  too  promising  that  Jamie’s  soulmate  could  be  down  there,  but  it’s  the  best  lead  you  got.   

Shyly,  you  followed  behind  the  two  as  he  led  the  way  to  the  basement.  With  Chris  as  your  guide,  it  was  relatively  smooth  sailing,  the  crowd  parting  minimally  to  make  way  for  the  president  of  the  frat.  Before  you  know  it,  you’re  walking  down  some  nasty  ass  carpeted  stairs,  forcing  your  eyes  from  questionable  stains  to  look  for  a  rail  instead  to  hold  onto.  Strangely  enough,  walking  down  the  steps  was  comforting  somehow,  the  feeling  as  if  it  were  inviting  you  in.  Like  it  assigned  you  a  duty  instead  of  the  alienating  fish  out  of  water  experience  you  had  earlier  on  the  main  floor.   

 “I  picked  up  some  stragglers!”  Chris  cheered  as  he  turned  into  the  room.   

 “Yeah,  but  did  you  bring  the  alcohol?”  A  brazen  voice  you’ve  never  heard  before  shot  straight  through  you.  You  could  feel  it  run  through  you  with  tingles  down  your  spine  and  goosebumps  up  your  arms.   

“Hell  yeah  I  did,  ya  jackass!”  

 When  the  two  of  you  turned  the  corner,  the  world  slowed  down  and  your  muscles  instantly  seized  up,  halting  you  into  place  without  consent.  Your  insides  clench  tight,  wrapping  itself  into  a  knot.  Suddenly  you  were  sweating,  but  in  contrast,  your  vision  looked  as  though  you  were  looking  through  a  nice  refreshing  glass  of  pink  lemonade.  Normally  steady  hands  were  now  shaky,  your  ears  and  cheeks  beginning  to  glow  beet  red.  You  could  feel  yourself  beginning  to  sweat  at  the  nape  of  your  neck  and  underarms;  all  this  from  the  sudden  voice  of  the  stranger!  -What?  What’s  going  on?!-    

 Immediately,  your  gaze  pans  around  the  room  before  they  landed  on  the  source,  long-lashed  eyes  holding  a  dark  chocolate  glaze  and  shivering  you  to  the  bone.  Like  a  hooked  fish,  you  couldn’t  look  away.  The  initial  astonishment  of  just  the  sensations  couldn‘t  compare  to  exploring  the  face  in  front  of  you.  

 Chiseled  cheeks,  and  angular  brows.  Pouty  naturally  downturned  lips  were  discovered  underneath  an  impossibly  perfect,  pointy  nose.  Everything  about  him  was  like  the  artwork,  his  slightly  covered  forehead  was  somehow  artistic  as  if  even  the  space  between  the  brow  and  the  hairline  was  something  new  that  your  narrow  mind  could  never  possibly  understand.  His  hairline  soon  revealed  a  head  of  luscious  black  hair,  unrealistically  voluminous,  shiny  and  soft.  Honestly,  his  hair  was  screaming  at  you  to  test  out  if  it  could  be  possible,  that  someone  who  looked  like  this  was  real.  His  entire  face  and  head  on  his  shoulders  didn’t  make  conceivable  sense.  Maybe  it’s  just  you,  but  a  person  this  perfect  couldn’t  exist  and  you  have  yet  to  venture  south  to  see  how  perfect  the  rest  of  him  could  possibly  be.    

 “Y/n?  Are- are  you  okay?”  

 You  vaguely  felt  or  heard  your  best  friend  at  your  side,  but  it  wasn’t  decipherable.  Everything  but  this  guy  in  front  of  you  was  fuzzy,  blurry  to  you.  All  the  energy  in  your  being  focused  on  this  human  in  front  of  you.  His  silky,  messily  parted  locks,  begging  for  you  to  test  if  it  was  as  soft  as  it  looked.  His  sharp  features.  His  lips  a  natural  coral-y  color  that  began  to  shine  and  glimmer  with  saliva  as  his  glossy  tongue  began  to  trail  along  those  chapped  lips.  You  shot  your  eyes  back  to  his,  reeling  you  back  in  like  the  prey  you  began  to  feel.  Oh,  sweet,  sweet  baby  Jesus,  is  this  really  happening?!

 “I-“  both  of  you  started  at  the  same  time.  Embarrassingly  enough,  it  seems  as  though  the  blurry  figures  of  everyone  else  in  the  corner  of  your  eyes  caught  on  to  something  the  two  of  you  were  oblivious  to.  Everyone  started  jumping  and  screaming,  whooping  chaotically,  and  taking  over  your  vision.  The  slow  world  disappeared  in  a  blink,  launching  you  right  back  to  its  now  rapid,  woozy  speed.  With  everyone  pushing  and  shoving  around  you  in  excitement  it  was  not  at  all  helping  with  your  wibbly-wobbly  state.  

Suddenly,  you  felt  many  different  arms  coming  at  you,  wrapping  around  you,  constricting  you,  and  jumping  around  with  you  in  their  arms  in  excitement.  There was  a  deafening  amount  of  rambunctious  hooting  and  hollering  it  was  almost  as  if  the  team  they  were  rooting  for  won  the  SuperBowl.  

 “And  here  I  thought  Y/n  was  Jamie’s  soulmate!”  Chris  guffawed  and  they  all  joined  in,  all  besides  you  and  this  guy- WAIT-  did  Chris  say-  say  ‘soulmate’??  No,  he  couldn’t  have!  

 “Soulmate?”  Equally,  as  soon  as  you  internally  questioned  the  word  choice,  you  heard  his  earth-shattering  voice  speak  again,  despite  the  fact  he  merely  whispered,  softly  wondering  aloud.  He  spoke  aloud  what  you  were  thinking,  right  when  you  thought  it!   

 You  couldn’t  get  enough  of  his  voice,  especially  now  when  you  can’t  see  him  in  the  crowd.  His  voice  was  light,  honey-colored,  dreamy,  just  the  perfect  amount  of  deep,  it  made  you  want  to  taste  his  lips  to  see  if  he’s  as  sweet  as  he  sounded.  You,  yourself,  were  still  in  the  locked-in-place  state,  still  too  shell  shocked  to  even  make  a  step  forward,  your  poor  brain  overworking  itself  to  make  sense  of  any  of  this.   

 “Really?”  In  elated  shock  you  chirped,  slowly  giving  in  to  the  hugs  and  excited  jumping  with  wide  and  confused  eyes.  Is  this  for  real?  This  is  really  happening?!  

“Holy  fuck,  Y/n!”  Jamie  managed  to  get  you,  pulling  you  a  bit  too  crushingly  in  a  hug.  “I  can’t  believe  it!  You  found  your  soulmate  in  this  shitty  basement  and  not  me!”  She  playfully  teased,  there  was  no  ill  will  behind  it.   

 By  now  the  situation  was  beginning  to  sink  in  a  teeny  bit  and  you  were  shocked,  to  say  the  least.  Frankly,  you  were  starting  to  think  that  this  day  would  never  come.  You  had  a  soulmate  and  your  soulmate  looked  like  that!  You  were  over  the  moon,  even  if  you  felt  a  bit  guilty  that  you  found  your  soulmate  at  this  party  instead  of  Jamie.  It  was  the  plan  of this  whole  night,  after  all.  Now  that  it  was  you,  you  didn’t  know  how  to  react.  You  were  completely  and  utterly  unprepared.  

  “I’m  so  sorry,  Jamie.”  You  pulled  her  back  in  closer,  crushing  her  back  into  you,  eyes  watering,  lip  trembling.  “Oh  my  god,  I  think  I  might-  I  think  I  might  cry.”  You  hiccupped  into  her  chic  mesh  turtleneck  and  dress  combo.  This  is  too  much.  Too  too  much.   

 “Heyy!~  Don’t  feel  bad  for  me!  It’s  okay!”  Jamie  simply  chortled,  patting  your  head  deeper  into  her  chest,  her  usual  protocol  if  you  were  about  to  seriously  cry.  

Humiliatingly  enough,  you  heard  a  few  guys  begin  to  chant  “don’t  cry!”  in  the  background.  Your  small  moment  of  sincerity  and  calm  was  soon  interrupted  by  Chris.   

 “Well  isn’t  this  fun!  You  know  what  this  means!”~   

“Minho’s  soulmate’s  a  lil’  bitch?”  You  heard  Jisung,  the  kid  whom  you  shared  your  major  and  many  classes  with,  taunt.  His  words  forcing  you  forward,  ready  to  fight  the  kid.  He’s  a  child,  literally   a  child!  Why  do  I  associate  myself  with  him?!  I  swear  to  god-

 “Hey,  hey,  hey!  It  was  a  joke!”  He  squeaked  away  from  you.  He  was  too  speedy,  no  chance  for  you  and  your  heavy  ass  boots  stomping  after  him.  Safely,  he  skidded  behind  the  couch,  behind  whom  you’re  assuming  is  “Minho”,  which  had  your  boots  screeching  to  a  halt.  

Though  you  were  scrambling  after  Jisung,  your  eyes  naturally  met  Minho’s  as  you  halted.  Once  again,  your  body  is  preparing  to  either  fight  or  flight.  His  face  was  glowing  like  he  was  some  sort  of  ethereal  being,  wracked  up  in  deep,  attractive  concentration.  In  contrast,  your  face  was  beginning  to  burn  up  an  embarrassing  amount,  your  body  already  turning  into  inoperable  mush.  You  couldn’t  say  anything  if  you  tried.  Any  sentence  structure  your  brain  tried  to  form  didn’t  make  any  grammatical  or  logical  sense,  your  mind  racing  like  a  hamster  on  a  wheel.  Your  neural  pathways  were  glowing,  steaming  with  this  sudden  overstimulation,  leading  you  to  the  same  frazzling  answer  each  and  every  time: 

This  person  right  in  front  of  you?  Yeah,  that’s  your  soulmate. 

 A  hush  was  spread  throughout  the  previously  hype  basement,  all  eyes  immersed  in  the  two  of  you  speechlessly  enraptured  in  each  other.  The  longer  you  stood  there, the  more  you  could  take  him  in  and  get  used  to  him  and  the  idea  of  him.  You  were  warming  up  to  him,  he  became  more  and  more  real  with  each  millisecond.  You've  studied  his  eyes  so  passionately  now  that  could  see  his  dark  chocolatey  pupils  when  you  closed  your  eyes.  You  were  no  longer  overwhelmed  but  now  enchanted  by  his  features  and  general  presence.  His  cheekbones  are  no  longer  an  unfamiliar  art  piece.  His  aura  was  still  intimidating  as  before,  but  now  it  appeared   to  the  cheeky  kind  of  way  like  you  wanted  to  see  what  amount  of  scary  he  was  capable  of.  It  was  a  long,  jittery,  drawn-out  pause  before  anything  happened,  not  that  you  noticed.  

 “Out  of  genuine  free  will,”  You  just  smiled,  staring  at  his  naturally  downturned  lips.  Only  by  reading  his  lips  did  you  pay  attention  to  what  he  was  saying-  Wait,  what?

“I,  Lee-”  Hold on a second.  

“Minho-”  No.  

“Exercise  the  divine  right  to”  This  isn’t  happening  to  me.  This  isn’t- 

“Reject  my  sacredly  designed-” happening.  No.  No.  It  can’t  be.  It’s  not  p-   

“Soulmate.”  -ossible.  

The  electric,  exciting,  high  energy  pause  between  us  fell  and  wilted.  Died  just  like  that.  The  connected  red  strings  that  tied  Minho  and  yourself  were  chopped  off  on  his  own  accord,  bringing  icy  cold  into  the  room  in  its  wake.  A  harsh  blizzard  overwhelming  the  space.  Gasps  of  shocked  air  were  being  taken  in  from  everyone  in  this  basement,  everyone,  including  Lee  Minho.  

 You  got  a  gasp  of  bitter  cold  in  through  your  lungs  before  you  were  struck  like  lightning.  Lightning  of  feverish  torture  took  over  your  body,  struck  you  directly  in  the  heart  and  brain  before  it  flashed  through  your  veins  carrying  the  harsh  poison  of  rejection.  

   You  heard  a  pathetic  squawk  tear  its  way  out  of  your  chapped  lips,  the  anguish  forcing  you  down  to  your  knees  as  if  you  were  directly  stabbed  in  the  heart.  The  electric,  immediate  painful  reaction  faded,  bringing  boiling  throbs  through  all  your  cells,  not  leaving  one  out.  It  was  unlike  anything  you  could  describe,  no,  imagine.  It  was  as  if  the  blood  in  your  veins  was  replaced  with  boiling  water  and  your  heart  was  simultaneously  squeezed  and  electrocuted  in  the  grasps  of  electric  hands.  Maybe  it  was  the  hands  of  Satan  dragging  you  down  with  him.

Blurrily,  through  fresh,  hot  tears,  you  swear  you  could  see  Minho  physically  flinch  in  response,  immediately,  sprinting  out  of  the  room  as  if  he  was  escaping  from  a  house  on  fire. 

 That  was  the  last  you  saw  before  it  all  faded  to  black.