#and I don’t hate all of you
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not doing my best
I’ve got
Dozens and dozens
Of wonderful friends
And watching eyes whenever I type
Mouths that say
The same
Stupid stupid shit
Over
And
Over
And
Over
And it’s over, it’s fucking over
I told him it’s done,
I told him I didn’t love him anymore
Except I didn’t tell him
He doesn’t hear me
I’m beating my hand up against the glass
Sobbing over and screaming
Over
And
Over
And
Over
I wrote it down
I told myself it was over
That I’d written my last poem
And here I am
Writing another one
About him
They say such nice things
About my soul up on a silver platter
It has to be silver
So that people enjoy it
I need to polish it up,
Brighten my dull feelings
I need to find that spark
I’m not doing my best, and I just need to find that spark
It’s glimmering shining
Wonderful radiance
Like his smile
I just gotta find the spark
I’ve found it before
Over and over and over and over
I’ve set pages upon pages ablaze with its ink
And now it’s gone
I’m hollow
I’m done
I’m not doing my best
I feel like I’m falling back in love but I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore
I’m not doing my best,
I’ll just
I’ll just
Plaster on a smile
Brush my hair
Take my meds
Dip my fingers into the slits in my wrists
Paint my nails a lovely shade of red
Wipe my tears away
Who needs them anyway
I look wonderful
I look sexy
I’m not doing my best
But goddamn I sure do look my best
And as long as the facade isn’t knocked down
The corpse that shambles under my name won’t collapse
I Promise Y’all I’m Fine, Just My Dysphoria Talking In This One
#poetry#poem#I’m fine guys#i promise#and I don’t hate all of you#I could never bring myself to hate all of you#just I guess#ignore this poem#it’s not very good anyway#I need sleep#that’s all#it’s a shitty poem from a shitty person#and it’s not good enough#:3
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The maths fandom is wild. “Real” and “imaginary” numbers? I think you mean canon and non-canon. You guys seriously go “this is my number oc his name is i and he is the square root of -1” when in numbers canon lore it’s actually impossible to square root a negative but sure whatever. “Complex numbers”? I think you mean a character x oc ship. “f(x) = 3x - 5”? That is self-insert fanfiction.
#(spoiler for the maths finale) 7 eats 9#mathblr#math memes#shitpost#locus other time#this is a joke don’t get too worried about it. I just wanted an excuse to say imaginary numbers are OCs#i would go more in depth but alas. as I’m making this I’m 16 so I haven’t learned all the fun maths lore yet#math#to reiterate: I am aware this is an oversimplification and not how maths works and nothing in maths is canon!#I am not trying to say square rooting negative numbers is stupid or impossible or saying imaginary numbers are a lie or anything like that#I just wanted to have a bit of fun with using fandom terms for numbers (and play off the stereotype of people who police “canon”)#no hate to mathematicians or the field of maths. You guys are cool. Sorry if it came off that way
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“Not my circus, not my monkeys”… Except those are his monkeys and they are the circus
#Okay so i think the idea is that Lautski is on a date and the terror duo were ABSOLUTELY stalking them#because of course they would#but (if they weren't already being the most obvious stalkers) they get caught#because then the seagulls descended#but listen okay#Why they attack (and how on earth they carried that weeb away) is up to you guys#because i dunno#i’m just here to make nonsense comics that give me a good chuckle#NPMD#nerdy prudes must die#for some reason i gave them different clothes sorta?is it obvi i dont have a sense of style at all#Pete Spankoffski#Stephanie Lauter#Richie Lipschitz#Ruth Fleming#Also i don’t know why but when it comes to drawing comics#i forget who anatomy is#i seriously don’t know her#esp when it comes to arms? Lord do i hate arms#Art#fanart#Also this whole comic stems from a story about seagulls stealing sausage links?#that's all i got for you#also im so sorry steph my beloved#i can not draw you at all and this is a curse i carry like a ball and chain#starkid#hatchetfield#//Komic
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A warm welcome!
#welcome home#wally darling#clownillustrations#welcome home puppet show#my art#fanart#digital art#puppeteer wally#human wally darling#lighting is hard#but I tried#wally is so kind#welcoming him and all#don’t y’all hate it when your adorable#small puppet starts manipulating you?#okay poppy time
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Secret Rendezvous
I couldn’t bring myself to finish this so just take it alright
#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 fanart#tf2 scout#tf2 sniper#speeding bullet#scoutsniper#scout x sniper#sniperscout#sniper x scout#digital art#bear’s art#I don’t want to render it nooo you can’t make me#I put all my energy into the background lol#lwk the more I look at this the more I hate it#there’s a future where I remake this but I cannot confirm
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Go ahead. Tell me I'm wrong
WHY would I when you are correct
#ask reply#my only criticism of this is you should of covered that dudes face#he ain’t like us#BUT LITERALLY Michael gotta have his faves and least fave animatronics#I actually don’t think he outright hates them all#I think it’s more complicated than that#similar to movie Vanessa I gotta believe he has actual interest in animatronics etc etc#maybe due to growing up with them#so yeah man has strong feelings on all of em#he could do a tier list on all animatronics and it be 5 hours long
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“You’re so quiet, what’s on your mind?” My body is a prison and my soul is its prisoner
#it’s so weird when you think you have a friend#and then they turn around and act as if they never even knew you#like???#I did nothing to you???#but now all of a sudden our long conversations in the drive have now gone to being blanked#not to mention she’s now buddy-buddy with our landlord who she hates?#this entire situation is weird and i don’t understand it#actually borderline#actually bpd#bpd#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd mood#bpd shit#bpd blog
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STUMBLES IN COVERED IN BLOOD. hi! sorry i haven’t posted art in a while!!!! i redrew every single isat battle portrait. including 15 custom sprites, totalling up to 78 sprites total. use these for anything you want!! as long as i’m credited and it’s not for commercial purposes, go nuts!!!
full sprite sets below the cut!! for anyone who doesn’t want to open the google drive lol
SIKE. there’s also my ramblings here. don’t worry i did actually put the sprite sets below
i labeled all of the custom sprites as such in the drive, but for anyone that doesn’t want to sift through that, the custom sprites are bigfrin damage (2), act 6 siffrin KO and timefreeze, mira timefreeze, bonnie hurt, KO, buff, and timefreeze, and All Of Loop’s Sprites. the wiki doesn’t include the act 5 buff sprite but like. i assume it exists so i’m not counting it as custom.
anyways!! this took about 2 Weeks of drawing every day. i literally drew for like 8 hours straight on one of those days. siffrin here has 39 PORTRAITS IN TOTAL i’m not kidding. that’s straight up half of all the sprites. he doesn’t need that many.
i promise. i will not be making more redraws. for at least a week. i will resist the temptation to draw the battle cgs i promise i swear i prommy. this was really fun to work on!!!! really made me appreciate just how much adrienne drew for this game jesus christ. god’s strongest soldier. with all that aside, here’s all of the portraits! enjoy!! falls over dead on the ground
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#im so fucking normal about thisngame. i really am guys#also this was how i found out that the browser version of tumblr lets you post more images at once compared to the app#so i had to. open browser tumblr purely to put the pictures here#because i had ELEVEN IMAGES TO POST. hate and rage on planet earth#out of all of these i think my favorites are bonnie’s timefreeze portrait and loop & siffrin’s attack portraits#i had to redraw the sketch for bonnie’s hair and god it was worth it#also!!! because no one on discord pointed it out#loop is instinctively gripping a dagger they don’t have in their attack portrait#and bonnie’s closing their left eye in their hurt portrait in reference to the incident#teehee!
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LOA Shiptober Day 4: How They Met
October content month was ambitious..
This one took me. Shockingly long. Whoops! I’ll probably end up jumping around the prompt list and it might extend into November 😋
I’ll try to do day 31 on the actual date of Halloween though 🫡
#the good or bad thing depending on who you ask about my ship art is that there are many more ranting tags#once again bringing my “he can’t blush but what if he did’’ agenda#Ngl the first panel reminds me of a children’s book it’s kind of fire#I feel like frost doesn’t like being touched by most people#but then he meets gricko professional animal friend and he’s so confused bc wtf why doesn’t he hate this#so that’s the drawing#sighs fondly confused grimmorning#except frost is the only one that’s confused#Im not joking when I say this one took me a long time I started it the day before the prompt and finished it like a week later#unintentional but frost is doing the Jim halpert thing#he wasn’t supposed to be but it turned out that way#frost don’t Jim the fourth wall.. community reference yeah..#I keep forgetting gricko tail agenda#also I love all the requests I’ve been getting once shiptober is over those will be popping up#anyways that’s enough out of me#but seriously some of those requests are so good they’re actually inspiring me to finish these pieces#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#morning frost#gricko grimgrin#grimmorning#gricko x frost#OH last thing possible stardust rhapsody art on the way I have to share my dandy art with the world
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Nine would have never “Rose Tyler I….” he’d of said i love you and he’d of said it with chest
#only cowards skip nine#doctor who#doctor who shitpost#ninth doctor#rose tyler#ninerose#tenrose#Ten was a lil bitch for that#bad wolf#doomsday#rose tyler i#never skip nine#and don’t even get me started on#tentoo#oh also while we’re here#fuck Tracy Ann Oberman#all my homies hate her#also also#this isn’t a ten hate post#still love him#honestly i think all the doctors a lil bitches for never just opening up#anyway#rose tyler i love you#lmao#bye
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The tragic idea that the Betrayers loved their siblings so much that it ended up being what drove them apart. They didn't want to settle for anything that could hurt their family, and mortals were doing so, either directly (a mortal usurping one of them) or indirectly (emotionally hurting them during the Schism by just. dying so much). To the Betrayers, it wasn't worth it. They wanted their beloved family to leave and go somewhere that wouldn’t hurt them.
To them, it's the primes who are the betrayers. The primes were motivated by more than just love for their immediate family - they loved their creation, too, and more than that, felt a responsibility for it. They would rather fight their own siblings than leave it.
We saw all the gods love and protect each other during the opening of Downfall. The Betrayers were not uniquely evil from the start. They wanted to save themselves and their family from hardship and suffering, even if it meant leaving their creation, their game, and in response their siblings locked them away. Not only do they not love mortals, they view mortals as this corruptive force that somehow turned their family against them. Do they think that, if they succeed in exterminating them, the Primes will be freed from their influence? Maybe - perhaps some of them are waiting to forgive and embrace their siblings, but far from all, I suspect. Asmodeus certainly expressed during Calamity that he didn’t so much want to be reunited with his siblings as he wanted to punish them. He was betrayed by the ones he loved most for the sake of a game! Maybe togetherness and forgiveness was once an obtainable goal, but not anymore. Even if the Betrayers succeeded in ending Exandria, the Primes would never forgive them, and they would never forgive the primes. Their family can never be whole again because of, as they see it, the toxic influence of mortals. So they hate mortals for this influence, but more than that, they hate their siblings for being so weak as to fall for it.
#the betrayers were selfish in wanting to choose the gods' wellbeing over all of exandria#but they don’t see it like that. to them the primes were selfish for choosing a stupid game over their family - the only thing that mattere#sighs wistfully. still a bit sad that there's no betrayer pc's. would've been interesting#but their presence is still really cool don’t get me wrong! no one plays asmodeus the way brennan plays him#i just. imagine being a regular human teenager and then you go through anamnesis and realize youre a god who hates all mortals#what did that look like? were they conflicted? attached to their mortal families? did they immediatly turn bad again?#man i would love to see the actual anamnesis process PLEASE#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#downfall#cr spoilers#nella talks cr
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The thing abt john winchester is that he is too complex for the majority of the spn fandom and for a good portion of the writers on the show too.
Because at his core john is about love over everything else. When he looks up at his sons (yes, up, the fact that they’re both taller than him>>>>>), there is love seeping achingly from every single pore of his being even as he abuses them, as he destroys their souls beyond belief. He does it all entirely out of love. And he is so, so wrong for it. A part of him knows it. But he wants to keep dean alive, and he wants to keep Sam pure. And he loves them so much. And he damages them so horribly. John Winchester is the foundation upon which they are both built, they only become more of what he made them as the series goes on. Sam stops fighting it, Dean continues to mold into his image no matter how hard he tries to fight it.
Hell puts them both on steroids, but their individual trauma responses that influence this are the foundations that John built into them. No wonder azazel wanted sam to win so badly. John Winchester crafted his sons into alastair and Lucifer’s ideal victims, respectively, and dean was a better (worse) john than John ever was. John held out in hell. Dean acquiesced to his abuser despite all of his efforts to fight him, and he’s never been the same since.
Sam fought like hell, and he fought destiny, but at his core, he did what John always wanted him to by doing what dean wanted him to do, and then he stops fighting at all, loses the fire he showed john in adolescence that john immediately notices when he returns in s14.
And the sad thing is. They filled their roles so well that John is saddened by what they’ve become. He didn’t want dean to break. He didn’t want Sam to be dimmed. He’s sad to see what Sam is like in s14. In the process of recovering his wife, he ensured he would mold his sons into what he wanted them to be, and when he got what he wanted, he was devastated.
John Winchester is so driven by love and grief and he’s so filled to the brim with both that it’s painful to watch him on screen because he destroyed his family because of it. And he wanted this all along but he didn’t realize what he’d have to give up to get it.
#supernatural#john winchester#sam winchester#dean winchester#my meta#honestly the thing is#if john had survived past s2#I don’t think he would get the hate he receives today#bc the thing is. jdms portrayal is ridiculously complex and beautiful#that when the majority of people write him they lose all his nuance#the fact that John was gone more than he was there immensely damaged his rep in the eyes of the fandom#I think if John were alive for longer he would get similar treatment to dean#both narratively and fandom perception wise#he already does to some extent amongst some people#he’s an excellent complex character#but people can’t handle complex#that man is an abuser#that man also loves more deeply than anyone#you know who also fits those descriptors?#dean#and look how fandom views him
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Dream’s room within Nightmare’s castle
This comic takes place after Nightmare’s theoretical death that I discussed before >:)
A bit of context under readmore
#realizing how that tiny part of your brother really cared while you were conditioned to believe he hates you down to the core time#mixed with how Nightmare made such a room to feel less lonely as Dream is his only family#all while denying that vulnerability within him to even exist#i’m so bad at environmental art don’t mind the very badly made room#I really wanted to explore this regardless cause fuck art skill i can do whatever the fuck i want and nothing can stop me#anothers art#dreamtale#dream#dream sans#dream!sans#dreamtale dream
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i pity people who say “yeah it’s nice to see these two characters as friends but their relationship becomes so much more meaningful if you see them as romantic.” how has the dredges of the amanormative world poisoned you this bad? have you never had a friend or wanted a friend who changed your life for the better? or if you do i feel bad for them because of so obviously little you value them
#and my friend xy whom i stole some lines of this rant from#aphobia#amanormativity#kiwi’s aspec posting#aromantic#APPARENTLY MY TAG RANT PICKED UP THE SHIP???? i’m so sorry for all the people who thought i was hating on it#i’ll have you know i made a post about qpr ze / li nk (TRYING NOT TO TAG IT BY ACCIDENT) so yeah i do like the ship myself#i just don’t like it when people say it can Only be romantic
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I’m 100% sure this is already general knowledge but it’s my first time thinking about it and I’m kinda obsessed-
Bc of S2 Ep3 Exs and Ohs we get a small glimpse into Moxxie and Blitzø’s backstory, where we find out that they meet RIGHT after Moxxie’s impromptu “break up” with Chaz
And then based on the trailer we got a glimpse of what is supposedly (and in my opinion, most likely) Blitzo and Millie’s first meeting, based on how young they look and the fact that Millie has long hair.
So…
Does that mean Blitzø introduced Moxxie and Millie?
I don’t know why but I’m obsessed with the idea that Blitzo introduced them. I think it’s such an adorable plot line <3 I love the idea of them both being friends individually with Blitzø before they became a couple.
It would also describe why he’s so obsessed with the two of them. Maybe because he’s so happy to see their love bloom, knowing he helped get it there <3
(But maybe it’s also because he had to sit back and watch them get the thing he’s always wanted most in life: unconditional love. He looks at them sometimes and just thinks “why not me? When will it be my turn?”)
#Blitzo analysis is my favorite type of anything ever#they said they wanted complex characters yet they couldn’t handle Blitzo#they could never make me hate you#I also just LOVEEEE Moxxie and Millie fr#they are genuinely the absolute cutest#I’m a m&m defender fr#don’t come near them all froth at the mouth and bite your ankles#I have rabies#anyway#I love blitzo#I love their friendship#helluva boss#blitzo#hellaverse#helluva blitzo#helluva boss blitz#helluva boss trailer#hazbin hotel#blitzo buckzo#moxxie and millie#helluva boss millie#helluva boss moxxie#moxxie#millie#blitzo angst
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Long haired twst characters they could never make me hate you | LeoVil animatic 👑🦁 | (CW: cursing)
——
(slightly OOC, sorry!)
This one’s for the LeoVil shippers! I personally like this ship, because the comedic potential they have as exes is limitless! Powercouple fr, until they tragically and very dramatically broke up 😔
#twisted wonderland#twst#leona kingscholar#vil schoenheit#pomefiore#savanaclaw#leovil#fanart#art#disney twisted wonderland#ディズニー ツイステッドワンダーランド#ツイステッドフンダラーンド#レオナ・キングスカラー#ヴィル・シェーンハイト#noahsart#my art#animatic#shitpost#twst shitpost#twst vil#twst leona#gay#also#this is no hate towards fat people in any way!#I love you all!!!!#just want to make sure that’s understood because you are BEAUTIFUL#and don’t you forget it
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