#also him and kunsel

[council-of-beetroot]

Crisis core makes a big point about Zack and Aerith's relationship but personally I'm more invested in Zack's relationship with Luxiere because the guy ends 3 of his 5 letters to Zack with "I'll follow you until the end"

[rocketbirdie]

The Rebirth B-Team that we deserved...

[dark-elf-writes]

If there’s ever a situation where Cloud has to use communal showers he does it with all of his clothes on and refuses to look at anyone.

Cloud standing like an angry wet bird in a rainstorm in the showers in FULL GEAR because he doesn’t want monster blood to stay in his hair but also will not risk blowing his secret.

Either that or he sends Kunsel in to scout it out and make sure it’s empty before running in and jamming the door shut. He’s broken so many locks on the showers and just climbed out the vents when he’s done that Lazard wrote it into the budget.

The others just think he’s a weird little guy. Which is par for the course tbh as they’re pretty sure Kunsel showers with the helmet on.

[sakurarisen]

웃:  three people that are important to my muse

Headcanon Time!

There's Zack - It's him who Sera can and will always credit with saving her, in more ways than she can actually put into words, but he's also someone she loves more than there's stars in the sky. To her, he accomplished his goal of becoming a hero long ago; he's generous, kind, sweet, helpful... Zack is an eager puppy in human form, and even when he comes back to her after Nibelheim, he's still putting everyone else before himself. He fusses over others in his own unique way and never has a harsh word for anyone who doesn't outright deserve it, and it's his smile that makes everything right in her world.

He's her other half in several ways, and he understands her ad gives her a place to belong, even when she feels she doesn't deserve it. Sera's been able to bounce things off him and show him her worst sides, and even though things started out rocky, he's never failed to prove himself willing to learn and to explain, and take her hand with a gentle touch she's never found in anyone else. Zack is her star, and she'll never not have him on a list like this. <3

There's also Sephiroth, who while she's heard stories of and fully believes them, she can't for the life of her see them when she looks at him, especially pre-Nibelheim. Sera's sure he's as fearsome as the stories told imply - He wouldn't be called a hero for no reason, after all! That's a titles one has to earn, especially when it's all of Midgar who agree with it and call him such! But to Sera herself, he's warm. Friendly. Comfortable.

She's sure she should probably be more respectful or fearful with him, but it's so hard to be when even silence is comfortable, something she doesn't normally like, and 'time out and about' is often walks around Midgar and soft talks. He's very brotherly, Sera's long since decided, and she's come to see him as such - Though it's perhaps that reason exactly why his later turn on the planet itself hurts so badly. Even though she's had a reputable source come to tell her the Sephiroth she knows is long since gone at that point, it's hard to believe it... She only hopes he find peace when he's done with whatever it is he feels he needs to do.

And thirdly, there's Shayan - Her son she really wishes would stop asking for his own pet chocobo. XD He's a miracle in and of himself and she still doesn't understand how he's here - really, she never will understand and that's fine by her - but she absolutely treasures him. He's what gave her the strength to escape Midgar after Nibelheim, kept her breathing and functioning, and above all else, helped her see she wants to see tomorrow even more than Zack did - She wants to see a world where he can grow up and thrive, and despair over what had become of her and her family after having to run was something she couldn't allow to win.

He's a gentle, kind, and considerate child with his father's eyes and determination, and she's almost certain he knows more than he lets on. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't... Whatever the answer there, it doesn't matter, so long as she can see him safe and smiling. <3

[rottenpumpkin13]

Time traveller Vincent in the vents meets Time traveller Cloud who is also in the vents, and Kunsel, who is not a Time traveller but knows things.

*Cloud struggles to crawl through the vents, turns a corner, and nearly smacks into Vincent, who's just perched there in complete silence*

Vincent: …

Cloud: What are you doing up here??

Vincent: This is an optimal vantage point to keep tabs on everyone.

*Kunsel suddenly crawls up behind them, cheerful as ever*

Kunsel: Oh, hey guys!

Cloud: Kunsel? What the hell are you doing here?

Kunsel: This is my eavesdropping spot. Best place to gather intel—y'know, degradation, Sephiroth going crazy, Shinra's shady plans, Hojo rambling about Jenova, all that good stuff.

Vincent: Fascinating. I wasn't aware we had another time traveler among us.

Kunsel: Time traveler? Nah. I just analyze patterns. It's all laid out if you know where to look. Take Sephiroth, raised his whole life as Shinra's perfect weapon, constantly groomed to be their ultimate soldier. It's only a matter of time before he snaps and burns everything down. Then you've got the degradation. Shinra probably cut so much corners, the serum's radioactive. Oh yeah, I've pieced together bits about Sephiroth's parentage. Vincent, your parenting style of "sleep in a coffin for decades" might need some tweaking. Just saying.

Vincent: What the fuck.

Cloud: Since you're in this too, we need to figure out what we're going to do about Sephiroth.

(Meanwhile)

*Sephiroth stands directly beneath the vents, arms crossed as the muffled voices filter down. Angeal walks by and pauses*

Angeal: Do I want to know why you're staring at the ceiling?

Sephiroth: I'm receiving spiritual guidance. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are having a heated debate about my mental health.

Vincent, from the vents: He needs understanding and nurturing. I failed him once, I won't fail him again. Showing him compassion is what Lucrecia would've wanted.

Sephiroth: There's the Father, decades late to the parenting party.

Kunsel, muffled: My data suggests 90% of his issues stem from childhood trauma. Why don't we get him a cat? Or therapy?

Sephiroth: And there's the Son, believing he can fix years of psychological damage with a feline companion.

Cloud: The only therapy he needs is a sword through his ass.

Sephiroth: And there's the Holy Spirit.

Angeal:

[silvergreenseraphim]

“Obedient Soldier”

[A phrase uttered by Sephiroth in Scene 07-06. As this line indicates, Sephiroth in BC (Before Crisis) was regularly obedient to orders, such as defending the Mako canon and protecting Hojo. Therefore, Shinra valued the worth of Sephiroth's loyalty and treated him like a hero.]

-Keyword Collection, CC Complete Guide, p. 285

“Until then, I will be an obedient soldier of Shinra…”

He uses the term “従順な“ which is described above. He willfully submits himself to Shinra’s authority regularly in spite of inner turmoil and reluctance much of the time.

I see more of this with every update in The First Soldier. Sephiroth calls it his only job. You would say then “Yes, and he is paid for it and treated like a hero! That is why he obeys!”

First. Where is this interest in money? And who is to say he receives it? He was raised and trained by Shinra from his boyhood days. His lack of interest in money is said clearly.

Angeal might have partially misjudged him for it too in chapter one of episode 2 when Bachman asked Sephiroth’s opinion on the situation in Robio:

Sephiroth: “Search for the missing troops. Don’t interfere with the filming. Anything else is not my job.”

Angeal: “You’re a stingy guy.”

Sephiroth: “What?”

Angeal: ”There’s no harm in experiencing things. Don’t just consider profit gain and loss.”

Sephiroth: “That’s not the reason.”

Angeal: “Then tell me what it is.”

Sephiroth: “….”

(Japanese translation) (*Note about the nuance here at the bottom of the post!)

There is another reason Sephiroth focuses so narrowly on his job but he does not want to state it. He does not want to explain why he focuses on nothing else. Why?

His disinterest in money itself was more obviously stated in episode one:

Matt: “We'll have to talk about the distribution of the reward money… fortunately, he (Sephiroth) doesn't seem to care about money.”

Money is not the reason for Sephiroth’s loyalty to Shinra then. You might then say it’s because they treated him as a hero! Like as it was said in the Guide, they valued his loyalty and dealt with him as a hero. But where is it stated that Sephiroth wants that either? No, it is the opposite.

Sephiroth: ”I don’t want to be a hero. I want to live a normal life…”

Glenn: “What did you say?”

Sephiroth: “Nothing. It’s never going to happen.”

But Sephiroth! Since you are a hero, Shinra must spoil you and treat you well? They must give you so much! Is that why you stay with that defeated resignation?

Perhaps you have authority and respect within the military! The fandom has always called him the General….

Ignore that you see the cameras he hates, the false propaganda he knows about, his low sense of self-worth, how he sees himself as a cyborg killer that does not deserve friends. He never experienced the sensation of joy and fun with others until he met Glenn’s team. Ignore that he was trained to be afraid and heartless. Forget that he has memories of Hojo’s pain and training.

And authority?

“Very sorry. We cannot follow orders from others outside of the normal chain of command.”

These are just infantrymen.

Sephiroth’s ability to refuse orders in Crisis Core was also an unofficial privilege that existed under Lazard’s generous command. If it were Heidegger, no privilege like that would have existed and Sephiroth would have had to kill Genesis and Angeal in Banora. Lazard, a man already disloyal to Shinra, had to be in command for that point in Crisis Core to exist.

“Also, there may or may not be a right to veto orders...It seems to be just unofficial though..”

-Kunsel to Zack, CC DMW flashback

Angeal Hewley is also made team leader over “Shinra’s hero” in episode 2 of The First Soldier. Years later Angeal still gives orders to Sephiroth that the hero follows. Sephiroth’s authority inside Shinra is not like a general or even a captain.

Not that then. Perhaps you are living a lavish lifestyle, hero?

….ah, but do I even need to explain why this one is nonsense when this boy was isolated and brought up by Hojo?

”Mom? Why are you in my bedroom?”

-Sephiroth, chapter one, The First Soldier Episode 2, Japanese.

A lab cell near to where Aerith and Ifalna were held as prisoners?

“I’ve never had many opportunities to interact with people.”

-Sephiroth, chapter five, The First Soldier Episode 1, Japanese.

He would not have in the environment Hojo gave him.

“I am a SOLDIER that was raised to stand on the battlefield. SOLDIERs are worthless unless they are strong in body and mind.”

-Sephiroth, chapter five, The First Soldier Episode 1, Japanese.

“You and I grew up in different worlds. The day we understand each other will never come.”

-Sephiroth to Angeal, chapter one, The First Soldier Episode 2, Japanese.

Hojo is who raised him like this! In isolation and cruelty!

“I am the only one who can speak to Professor Hojo freely at any time, who researches the limits of our SOLDIER abilities…”

-Sephiroth to Angeal, chapter one, The First Soldier Episode 2, Japanese.

Did that Halloween event not show us the deeper horror beneath these other horrors? And who they were connected to?

Hojo: “Endure the pain, Sephiroth. You’re not at your limit yet. The more you endure, the more of your hidden strength will awaken.”

Glenn: Hey! Hang in there!

Sephiroth: “I’m sorry. I was suddenly in a lot of pain, but I’m alright now.”

Glenn: “Don’t be so strong!! Rest! Rest! Don’t push yourself so hard just because you’re the team leader!! Just relax!

Sephiroth: “….I’ve never heard anything like that before. It’s just the reverse of what the professor said…”

(Japanese translation)

Who would have ingrained such deep loyalty into the world’s strongest SOLDIER so well other than his father Hojo? Sephiroth does not speak of leaving Shinra until he is close to 25 years. He was shaken when Elfe questioned why he fought and if it was for any reason. He responds to a command from his friend Genesis on immediate instinct.

He is conditioned. That is why he was an obedient soldier to Shinra and why he stayed with them even when he hated his life. He was afraid. Of them and of Hojo!

The First Soldier will only keep showing this. Sephiroth’s friends were his chain to mental stability. When they left and died, he became vulnerable again and Nibelheim was timed just right. How much grief and anger must he have felt learning about how deep the use of his body and mind had gone? Enough to hate Shinra and soon everything.

Shinra is run by greedy pigs who have their dogs and sheep. They have their SOLDIER recruits, their Turks, their Deepground prisoners, their clueless employees. You will find that among these pawns, there are many who try to leave or question the power keeping them in check and that is because Shinra was not so careful enough to condition and lie to them.

They were careful with Sephiroth though because disloyalty from him would be so dangerous. The story shows this well enough.

Out of all of their abused pawns and attack dogs, Sephiroth was the one chosen to be exploited in front of the world and decorated in hero’s ribbons to cover up the scars. He was lied to about the depth of his abuse and given false hope in his two dear friends. He was trying to claw his way to the light and find himself so that he could be a real hero and protect others but there was no hope for such things. His cage was gilded and when he became aware of it, that boy’s heart was filled with sadness and then anger and then hatred.

His life was DESTROYED by Shinra from the start. His loyalty was sown into him mostly by Hojo. This new episode of The First Soldier has brought this truth further to the light and I do not think it was will stop.

Thank you to those who helped me with this post in DMs!

Notes:

*Angeal’s words in chapter one of FS Episode 2 about Sephiroth’s “stinginess” do have a nuance that I do not want to ignore. He can be talking about money gain/loss but also a whole mindset! His words are broadly referring to a narrow-minded and “Scrooge-ish” view of things where there is not much room for anything outside of Sephiroth’s thin focus. That thin focus is Sephiroth’s assignment and the gain of completing it, which could include profit from Angeal’s perspective and would be a reason to complete a mission if we remember his scene with his parents where that is a discussion. The point is to say that Angeal is not only talking about money, but for this post I focused on that aspect of it because of Sephiroth’s response against the entire assumption and his formerly mentioned lack of interest in money.

[ariseur]

I’m the sephiroth hc anon, yea I was referring to the sfw and nsfw, sorry for not specifying :0

sephiroth (n)sfw hc’s 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

sephiroth (ffvii) x reader

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

guys the motivation is coming back to me TRUST ME i’m slowly but surely working on it.. 🙏🙏

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

post nibelheim sephiroth being jealous, possessive, a little toxic and manipulative, mentions of sephiroths touch repulsion and touch starvation, nsfw will have a warning before it, intended lowercase, lmk if i missed anything!! 💕

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

❥ soooo!!!1!1!1

❥ let me start off with pre-nibelheim headcanons because i miss a more domestic and ‘normal’ sephiroth rather than.. crazy seph lol

❥ so now let’s get into the actual thing!!

❥ i do not think that sephiroth is familiar with love whether it’s pre or post nibelheim, and if you read up on my angsty / comfort sephiroth fics you’ll see how i love the portrayal of where he’s so beloved by his fanclub and the public due to being a, “war hero” despite not feeling any close love like how you’d love him. the closest he’d get to developing emotional attachments would be his relationship with genesis and angeal (and maybe zack).

❥ it’ll take a while for sephiroth to fully trust and put his faith in you, but he’s actually very mature about romance. he doesn’t get very jealous and he’s very confident in your relationship and bond, if you read up on my jealousy hc’s i explain more there!!

❥ and when he really trusts you.. he’ll even let you perform his hair care routine on him when he’s too tired to do it himself. as you’ve seen, his hair is absolutely gorgeous and while he spends like an hour in the shower on just his hair— he spends more time when he’s out the shower as well with all the after product 😭.

❥ he enjoys having you brush his hair in the mornings and if you have long hair, he’ll return the favor. nothing’s better than sephiroth’s gentle hand cradling your head as he softly brushed through your strands, trying his hardest not to snag too hard on any tangles. if you’re comfortable with it, he’ll even hop in the shower with you and wash your hair for you. he’s not ashamed of nudity, he finds it a very normal and humanizing experience— knowing you can still be so vulnerable and not have it be sexual. he loves when you wash his hair for him too tho, it’s just super long so it’ll take a while lol.

❥ i cant see him as a morning person. i saw a post that he said, “sephiroths not a morning person, he’s a ‘im up because I have to be but if anyone talks to me, there will be murder’ person.” and i totally agree with that. you’ll wake him up, mentioning how he reminded you to wake up him bright and early tomorrow yet there you’d be, shaking his shoulder gently and he mutters a plea of five minutes more before pulling you closer.

❥ i definitely think that you guys would have to keep your love life private considering his job unless you’re like.. around angeal or maybe genesis. possibly zack, but you guys would have to make him promise that he wouldn’t tell anyone because he’d literally be so shocked. otherwise he’d go run to kunsel and brag about his knowledge or be so jaw dropped that he runs to angeal and is even more shocked when he already knows??? like, was he the only one who didn’t know about this whole thing??

❥ it’ll take a while for sephiroth to get comfortable with physical touch. although he secretly yearns for it, he’s also touch repulsed sometimes. it’s not that he’s appalled by you or your touch, it’s just that he’s gone so long without it that it’s foreign to him. once he gets used to it, he’ll eventually search for it and come looking for you in need of just some head massages or even just to rest his chin on your shoulder and view whatever you’re doing. he kinda does what cats do when they nuzzle the sides of their heads into your chest and like rub their noses into you.

❥ i’d like to think sephiroth’s very meticulous, so if you ever invite him in doing an activity such as baking or art or something, he WILL have to do it right or else he’ll get frustrated.

❥ as aforementioned, seph isn’t well versed in healthy love or adoration so if you even do a small task for him such as doing a chore he planned to do or cooking him pasta when he comes home— it will make him feel all gooey inside even if he won’t show it. he’s always calm and collected but, “even the coolest of people try their damndest to be alright,” as i mentioned in one of my headcanons for cloud lolol. he’s appreciative of even the small gestures, always making sure to thank you for your efforts as he knows they’re filled with love.

❥ for post nibelheim, though.. he’s lowkey manipulative. if you knew him before he found out about the jenova project, i’m assuming you’re only with him in hopes that he has some humanity within him that you can restore— well, that or you just like crazy men lol. he will definitely use that against you as a way of making you stay, always promising he’ll change after completing his plans with you by his side.

❥ if you met him post nibelheim though, he’ll be utterly fascinated with you as you’re basically his new toy. and he’ll follow you, regardless of when you met him. he’ll never let you leave his side after he’s gone crazy as he’s constantly reassuring you that his mothers legacy will be fulfilled, and that he can only do that when you’re beside him with support. it almost feels like it’s a shell of sephiroth. he never does any of the things he used to do before he was aware of who he really was, he’ll barely even let you touch him. he’s constantly on guard whenever you two are out, always keeping a hand around your waist or shoulder so that you don’t run off.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

NSFW BELOW ꨄ︎

❥ id like to think of pre-nibelheim sephiroth as a soft dom. always being gentle, even when you’re sucking him off so nicely that he can’t help but grip your hair— he always makes sure not to pull it too hard and instead bites on his hand until there’s marks. he’ll always cater to you too, treating you like a pillow prince(ss) and is literally at your beck and call. he will not tolerate brattiness though and will definitely punish you if needed!! he’s just so kind, it’s only fair that he reciprocates the same words you give him :(((

❥ i don’t think sephiroths that experienced, but i don’t think he’s a virgin either. he doesn’t have the time to pursue intimate relationships, but he’s definitely experimented with one or two of his fangirls or something. he sort of regrets it now, considering it wasn’t all that intimate.

❥ like i said, it’ll take a while for sephiroth to even get used to physical contact let alone initiate it, but once you guys do finally have sex, he is literally the sweetest. he’s probably a little rusty lol but he’s a very quick learner!! guide him and teach him how to make you feel good, it makes his chest swell with pride once he gets you making those cute little sounds :(((

❥ let me tell you this man is huge though. he’s around nine to ten inches in length and he’s a big girthier than average. he has like two prominent veins, one on the underside of his shaft and one on the left side. when he cums, it’s a pretty pearly translucent color and right before he blows it beads at the tip as he tries to hold it in.

❥ sephiroth would like to think that there’s a possibility that you two could have kids, although his duties and reputation (and future events..) kind of prevent that. so i think there’s a breeding kink in there somewhere, but if you’re not okay with it then he’s totally fine!! it might sting a little if you don’t want kids, but in the end its your body, your choice— and he will respect that!!

❥ if you’re a virgin, he’d like to make your experience worth while and makes it very clear to you that he’s beyond honored to have been your first. he’ll even place you on the softest satin pillows while he gently thrusts into you, interlacing fingers and slowly pinning them against your head while he watches for your expressions. if you get shy or look away, he’ll always let go of one of your hands to redirect your chin back to him with a soft, “look at me, darling.”

❥ he relishes in the soft sounds of your giggles, watching as you look over the display he set up for you with roses and a meticulously made bed for you, a trick he had learned from genesis once when sephiroth had been too worried of not being able to satiate your need for intimacy. seph would lift you gently, giving you a small kiss and carefully maneuvering his way to the sheets before ceremoniously laying you down beneath him. he savors these lax moments during sex, not just the serious ones.

❥ post nibelheim is a little iffy, he’s definitely more possessive and aggressive when he’s having sex. he’s also very condescending with his words, i can sense a dumbification kink somewhere..

❥ as i’ve said before, post nibelheim seph won’t let you out of his sight most of the time. so he’s so possessive that if he sees you talking to someone else in public, once you find your way back to him, you’ll have wished you never greeted them. he’ll mercilessly press your face against the mattress or table or whatever you guys are on, and talks about how silly it was for you to talk to someone so casually when you clearly knew he was watching.

❥ i don’t think he’d let you top him that much, maybe once in a blue moon would he let you act like you have control over him— but the moment you get too cocky, he’ll remind you of who really has the most control once he grips your hip dips and flips you over, catlike, vindictive mako eyes glinting in the shadows of his body.

❥ again, i’m sorry but it’s the truth, also a little manipulative. post nibelheim sephiroth would accuse you of talking to other men or wanting them to satisfy you instead. he’d grit his teeth and roll his hips even harder— claiming he’d just have to show you how much he’s ruined you for other people. they are but boys but he, he is a man. and he’ll make sure you know that by the time the day ends and the sun seeps through curtains.

❥ pre sephiroth makes love, post sephiroth fucks. there’s a huge difference.

[strayheartless]

Stupid/lovely/decidedly weird zakkura things because I’m in one of those moods today…

Cloud absolutely has kicked Zack in the shins in order to get to his lips.

They sleep pretty much curled together. Mostly it’s Cloud on his back with Zack passed out across him, sometimes it’s spooning. Either way is fine (Cloud will never admit to liking being held.)

Zack once spat gum into Clouds mouth and Kunsel slapped him.

They joke about Kunsel being the third person in their relationship, but a lot of people don’t know they are joking.

Zack is aware that people call him clouds “scary dog privilege”. He’s not willing to correct them. After Nibelhiem he IS the scary dog anyway.

Nobody expects Cloud to be a catagory five clinger… but he is. Don’t touch him if your names not Zack though. He will punch you.

Zack’s pretty chill about people flirting with Cloud. Unless it’s Roche then the Buster is embedded in the wall and Roche suddenly has bangs.

Cloud is also chill about flirting. Unless it’s Scarlet and then Kunsel has to hold him back.

Zack’s short lived romantics overture with Aerith is a source of great amusement for both Aerith and Cloud. Zack is in endless agony. He should never have let them meet.

In a world where Zack lives people call him Clouds carer. When he gets annoyed about it Tifa says “let me frame it better. You care so Cloud doesn’t have too.” Zack can’t deny that it’s true.

Zack and Clouds Gondola date got them banned from the Godola wheel… no no, you misunderstand. Zack spun them so much he nearly unscrewed the pod from the wheel.

Cid once asked Zack what Cloud was like in bed and Zack scowled at Cloud and said “elusive”.

Barret has walked in on the two of them trying to get Zack into the Corset Andrea gave Cloud… he walked back out again.

Zack once used the buster sword like a cricket bat on Genesis for moving Clouds hair out of his face whilst evil monologuing. That was the day Zack Fair learned that - evil, horrible, good for naught, - degrading Genesis Rhapsodos had memorised Angeal’s Dreams and Honour speech word for word like it was part of Loveless.

Cloud is the perpetrator of cute aggression. He has bitten Zack unwarranted many MANY times.

Zack is not above spraying Cloud in the face with water when he has an “accidental sociopath” moment.

One time Zack forgot the mini spray bottle and instead took Tifa’s glass of water from her hands and threw it in clouds face yelling “ARE YOU CALM YET?” Cloud did, in fact, calm down.

When Cloud gets Mako sickened in Corel Zack plays with his hair until he comes round… he woke up with random braids everywhere.

Vincent is convinced Zack has a summon trapped inside of him. Zack says it’s more likely the pent up anxiety of dating a Strife.

When they get to the moogle Village Zack cries happy tears over Clouds moogle form. Seriously he’s incapacitated by crippling laugh crying for an hour.

These are so dumb.

[foreststarflaime]

Imagine. SOLDIER vs Turks paintball war

Turks vs soldier, infantry split between them

One group starts at the bottom and the objective is to get to the top of the tower and hit the president with a paintball (this is definitely not official or known about by any of the higher ups, zack and reno masterminded it and got kunsel to spread the word amongst the lower ranks, so the president will be hiding under his desk convinced he is caught in the midst of a sudden company wide civil war)

Genesis tries to sacrifice sephiroth for his own gain but seph starts making out with him to distract him and then shoots him in the back L

Angeal was the only one not told of this bc they were afraid he’d snitch so he wakes up to genesis screaming bloody murder covered in paint on the floor of the hallway and sephiroth trading fire with several turks in black ops paintball gear hanging out of air vents

He closes the door again and pours himself vodka instead of coffee

Towards the end of the game cissnei gets cloud with a flashbang before zack can take her out, then while defending a blinded cloud he runs into an ambush in a hallway and is pelted with paint but gets most of them, cloud drives the rest back and then “you’ll be my living legacy” *presses paintball gun into his hands and fake dies* and cloud barrels the rest of the way to the president’s office fueled by rage and shoots him, winning the game

Angeal gets a call from zack bidding him tearful farewells like he’s dying, makes his last words as he pretends to cough up paint-blood “sorry I stole the buster to use as a painball shield it’s wider than my sword”

Goes up to chew him out stepping over countless bodies of the fallen to find zack now on call with aerith, both fully into the act sobbing over the phone over zack ‘dying’

In the hours between him finding out about the paintball war and zack calling him he got absolutely wasted with lazard so when he gets to zack’s funeral he sees the red paint hears kunsel’s extremely touching speech and momgeal breaks down sobbing “he was too young to die” holding an also sobbing zack on the floor

Kunsel is holding a funeral for him in the hallway, now genesis is storming about raging that he didn’t get one

The paintball duel between sephiroth and rufus lasts long after the game is officially over. They have to drag them apart

[salternateunreality2]

Before Christmas (or whatever winter solstice celebration they have on Gaia), ShinRa employees are making soup and visiting the less fortunate people (see, ShinRa cares).

How does that go?

Kunsel: Ok, this next block of apartments is all for extremely low income folks, most of whom are employed and may reject perceived charity. Please be mindful and frame this as a Shinra holiday cheer thing. Everyone got your soup? Alright, let's split up.

Zack: ok! *Knocks on the first door*

Cloud:

Zack: OH! Hi buddy! I forgot you lived here!

Cloud: Zack, the fuck're you doing here? It's my day off and I'm trying to sleep. Is...wait, is that the stupid Shinra charity soup?

Zack: Yep!

Cloud: ...fuck it, they owe me this much. Thanks. *Takes soup and shuts door*

Zack: 🥺

Kunsel: Don't be sad Zack, you just escaped with your life because you're the only person Strife likes enough not to kill if you wake him too early.

Zack: Really?! 🥰

--------------

They also do a soup line under the bridge.

Zack: Hi! Welcome! Pumpkin or minestrone?

Person: Pum- *senses an ominous presence* minestrone, please.

Zack: you betcha *dumps a ladle of each into their bowl* NEXT!

Sephiroth: *holds out a bowl*

Zack: Bud, this isn't for you.

Sephiroth: *still holding bowl*

Zack: You're holding up the line and Geal is gonna glare at me!

Sephiroth: *still holding bowl*

Zack: And tell me about dreams and honorrrrr!

Sephiroth, who has not blinked once: *still holding bowl*

Zack: ok, ok, which one?

A voice deeper than any Zack's heard before, with the hint of an eldritch god's power on its edges: P U M P K I N

Sephiroth's mouth hadn't moved. Zack, wide-eyed, ignores that fact and hastily serves him soup.

Sephiroth:

Sephiroth: Thank you, Zack Fair. *Disappears*

Zack:

---------

Lazard shows up at the end of the day to Sephiroth's apartment with a leftover giant tub of soup on a rolling cart.

*knock knock*

Sephiroth: *opens the door as if he smelled the soup and has been waiting for the knock* 😍 Hello, Director Soupzard. How may I pumpkin you?

Lazard: We had leftovers, and I was wondering if you would be so kind as to take this tub?

Sephiroth: For a friend? I certainly will. Please, come in. *Hoists the soup with one arm, holds the door for Lazard with the other*

❤️🦎🐱❤️

[getvalentined]

Oh it's nothing super interesting, except that my Kunsel got into the habit of wearing the helmet all the time because he had a weird reaction to his first round of mako enhancements, leading all his senses to get cranked up to eleven. Everything was really loud and bright for a long time and the helmet made a big difference in mitigating that while he got used to it. It never went away, but he manages it better as he gets older—this is how he always seems to know what's going on; he can hear straight through a lot of the walls at Shinra HQ and can read someone's lips from a quarter mile away. (He's also an S-type SOLDIER, which is implied by the fact that he's still on active duty in Remake, so he doesn't degrade.)

He's just over a year younger than Zack (pretty much nobody knows this), was born and raised in the area around Healen, and used to work the neighboring farms to help his mom (a nurse) pay the bills. He enlisted at fourteen to help put his older sister through medical school, and when he gets promoted to First in early 2003, he takes advantage of the rank's nonstandard weaponry privileges by opting for a scythe. He worked in barley fields since he was super young, so he's really good with it!

Also he's a ginger.

@getvalentined

very specific kunsel headcanons you say? 👀

[rocketbirdie]

kunsel dump

[ff7-has-taken-me-over]

I’m surprised it took me this long to do one of these for these two but here we are! A list of head canons and random thoughts I’ve had of them, with maybe a couple on other characters sprinkled throughout.

- Surprisingly enough, Cloud’s the more emotionally intelligent one between him and Zack. His social awkwardness just gets in the way and he struggles to show it to anyone other than Zack

- Zack and Cloud both know how to cook. Cloud having grown up with just his mother learned to help her out and Zack’s mother refused to let her son go off to Midgar without at least basic knowledge in cooking

- Despite Zack being the chronically flirty one, Cloud gets hit on more when they go to clubs and bars

- Zack hogs all the blankets like his life depends on it the second the temperature drops more than 10 degrees

- Cloud sleeps in boxers and nothing else. Unless it’s winter then you’ll catch him in a shirt as well

- Zack fucking hates doing the dishes. He will quite literally bribe Cloud to do them when it’s his night cause of how much he hates them 😂

- Kids absolutely adore Cloud and the blond never understands why despite going all soft on them and playing along with their dumb games when asked

- Zack once tried to convince Cloud it was a fantastic idea to get a dog for their tiny ass apartment but got shut down cause he got so excited over the idea he broke their dining table

- Zack came out of the closet after Cloud only because Aerith dragged him out by the ear and shoved him onto the blond

- Aerith and Tifa had an argument (not really it was more playful and halfhearted) over who would get Cloud as a best man/bride of honour cause they both wanted to put him in a dress

- Cloud wore a suit to Aerith’s and Tifa’s wedding and Zack was but hurt that neither of them wanted to see him in a dress

- Zack drinks his coffee black and Cloud puts enough sugar and milk in it your teeth would itch at the sight

- Cloud consumes salt like Zack does spice and neither of them can handle the others preference for them. Zack’s face screws up like he swallowed sea water and Cloud starts sweating at the mere whiff of spice

- Zack was so thrown off guard about all those people in sector 5, 6 and 7 knowing Cloud that he thought it was some massive, elaborate joke that everyone was in on

- Tifa was in mad denial about her feelings for Aerith but the second Cloud tried to ease her into the idea she caved pretty quick (she couldn’t stand the idea of Mr. Discovered Narnia himself giving her that talk)

- In Shinra days Zack most definitely used Kunsel to sabotage one of Cloud’s dates, only to discover the blond had never even gone on the date cause he thought it was a joke from his squad mate

- The only time Cloud ever showed an ounce of curiosity at gossip was when Vince had casually kissed Cid on the cheek before leaving and the latter had done nothing more than smile fondly after him

- Zack definitely mourns not having his mentor at his and Cloud’s wedding

- Cloud and Zack hung out so much in Shinra days that not only did Cloud get a fan club of his own, but a sub fan club that shipped the two of them together was created (and people lost their fucking minds when they spotted the two of them years down the track holding hands out in public)

- Genesis would have taken a liking to Cloud purely because he wanted to have a little protege like Angeal and the blond had enough of a spine to sass back and glare when Genesis had threatened him

- If Sephiroth hadn’t lost his mind to Jenova and all he would have been all too ready to go against Shinra and help take them down. Not because of his own feelings on any of the matters but because his friends had turned and he cared about them more

- Zack definitely got mildly jealous when he found out Cloud had been an avid member of Sephiroth’s fan club but had absolutely preened for weeks on end when he found out that he’d also been in Zack’s fan club

- Aerith proposed to Tifa and enlisted the help of Cloud cause he knew Tifa better and Zack unfortunately couldn’t keep a secret to save his life. But Zack did help keep Tifa distracted while Aerith made her preparations

- Barret is the unwilling dad of the group, Cid and Vince are the tired uncles that don’t actually know how they got there in the first place and literally everyone else are the chaotic children that only pull it together for eco terrorism and organised crime

- When Cloud gets sick he basically hibernates for like a week and only eats and drinks just enough so he doesn’t die. Zack freaked the fuck out the first time it happened and took him to the hospital after the first 24 hours of near constant sleep

- Zack becomes a big, whiny, clingy, cuddly mess when he’s sick and always tries to insist he’s all better the second he feels anything more than on the brink of death. Cloud almost spiked his food with sleeping pills so he’d just lie down and finally go to sleep and allow himself to heal somewhat

[finallyfantasy7]

Me to myself: SOLDIER Weekly is not real. SOLDIER Weekly is not real. SOLDIER Weekly is not real. You can't subscribe to this magazine. You can't. It doesn't exist. Be normal.

Also me: Square-Enix I need this magazine published right now. I need Shinra propaganda articles about Sephiroth, and anonymous column with tips on plant care and frugality and honor from Angeal, and constant quotes and LOVELESS analysis from Genesis, and photos of Sephiroth with Genesis trying to photobomb him, and passive-aggressive quotes from Lazard, and fun facts from Kunsel with his photos always with his helmet on and people having no idea if it's Kunsel or literally any other SOLDIER 2nd Class... Square-Enix come oooooon!

[altocat]

sephithoughts about kunsel?

Sephiroth actually rather likes Kunsel. In an unspoken, offhand sort of way. Kunsel can be nosy and irritating, yes. But he can also be very handy. Sephiroth will sometimes call on him to take a message to other soldiers or executives. Or to utilize him as a scout on the battlefield. While he doesn't personally view Kunsel as a terribly exemplary soldier in terms of strength and ambition, he does recognize that sometimes, simple, reliable dependability is good. Necessary. Kunsel is useful. He's helpful in a tight squeeze. Sephiroth appreciates that. He's not sure if that's a noteworthy enough quality to make it to First. But he'd volunteer to give a recommendation if no one else will.

In fact, he is considering writing up an evaluation very soon. They need the numbers, especially since he and Zack are the only Firsts left. Zack could use the help, especially since Sephiroth is considering retirement. He's not sure if Heidegger, the new head of SOLDIER would even read the recommendation letter. But it's on his to-do list.

Right after he gets back from Nibelheim.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Everyone comes back one morning to discover that someone (Zack Fair) has turned the entire SOLDIER Floor into a massive ball pit overnight. What chaos ensues?

Sephiroth: Stands motionless at entrance for 5 minutes straight, face completely unreadable. Attempts to wade through "professionally" before ungracefully tripping and vanishing entirely despite being 6'7". Has adapted to ball pit life with concerning speed. Occasional flashes of silver hair move under the surface like a shark fin. Surfaces periodically like a hippo, only mako eyes visible, hunting for Genesis.

Genesis: Initially tries maintaining dignity by perching on a high surface and lecturing the rowdy Thirds throwing balls at each other. Until Sephiroth's hand shoots out and drags him under with terrifying efficiency. Emerges periodically screeching about betrayal while pelting balls at Sephiroth's hand before it drags him under again.

Zack: "Okay so... funny story. Was trying to order some training equipment and saw these awesome balls on sale. Only meant to order 100 but turns out I maybe added five zeros? And hit confirm twice? And they were having a buy-one-get-one deal... So technically this was fiscally responsible? Also, anyone seen Cloud? He sank about 20 minutes ago :("

Angeal: Attempting to deliver a lecture on military etiquette and responsibility while dodging rogue balls, but is visibly losing patience.

"Seriously, guys, we're SOLDIER. We're supposed to set an example—*gets smacked in face by Third Class*—THAT'S IT. ZACK, START RUNNING. NOW." Proceeds to chase Zack through the pit like an enraged bear, still somehow still lecturing despite murderous intent.

Lazard: Barricaded in office with chairs against door. Alternate stages of hysterical laughter and sobbing while calculating budget impact. Has started drafting resignation letter.

Cloud: Last seen being sucked into a ball pit whirlpool. Occasionally surfaces looking more traumatized and disheveled, armed with a baseball bat, before attacking the dragging hand and being pulled back under.

Kunsel: Already selling "I Survived the SOLDIER Floor Ball Pit Incident" t-shirts.