#also as always idk how many ill be able to get to

[creaturefeaster]

On Sunday I'll be out of state for about a week, so I won't have access to my tablet or anythang... so maybe today I'll take a few doodle requests before I go dormant 0u0.

If you have any requests, feel free to reply to this post with them, or send an ask! Or multiple, I don't care. Variety is the fruit salad of life.

[toastsnaffler]

was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍

[scarletcomet]

scrolling through instagram and it's making me want to die

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[nomairuins]

and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do

[cluelylikesporn]

should totally do anything mirio related. I need more mirio content istfg

HII so i'm gonna do some headcanons cuz i feel like it

some sad some random (PLZ GET THE JOKE LMAO)

warnings: nsfw below the cut!! gender neutral reader !

mirio headcanons ♡

sfw:

i feel like hes the type of guy to go to disneyworld and squeel when he sees mickey

i also feel like if he was quirkless he'd be mickey

hes definitely the sweetest boyfriend ever i swear

he def popped up out of the floor, scared the shit out of you to ask u out w a lil bouquet of flowers.

i js feel it in my bones that hes constantly giving u flowers

i usually hate the petname "babe" but i feel like its ok when he says it.

petnames include babe, hon, honey. i lowkey hate unique pet names (like how in the 2020 fanbase all the pet names were like teddy bear and pebble im sorry i hate it)

his favourite ice cream flavour is vanilla and is passionate about how its not basic and its actually super hard to make.

tried to play fortnite once and was extremely bad and came 99th. he was way too calm ab it.

gets so happy when he sees you with eri, and you guys go out together constantly.

always buys you stuff, like fully SPOILS you. he usually buys you too many stuffed animals and u js give them to eri lmao

hes a dog person 100%

was the type of dude in middle school to absolutely drench himself in axe body spray cologne

he was a wreck after nighteye died and cried in your arms every night. he blamed himself everytime.

nsfw

remember how i said he likes vanilla? i think he is tbh

but honestly not in a bad way, like very caring during it and gentle.

i js cant picture him being rough it seems strange. and does this man look kinky? no.

i feel like he likes any position where your facing him and he can be like face to face with you, or just be able to touch your back and hug you.

hes so sweet i cant

talking you through it the whole time

doing small things like tucking your hair behind your ear or wiping your sweat away.

this mans stamina is CRAAAZY LIKE HOLY SHIT

constantly checking up on you, asking if its too much or if he can go faster.

whimpers. WHO SAID THAT??

cant keep his hands off of you after, just kissing you all over your face.

an: ill be working on another request for ua faculty headcanons or imagines idk yet and it should be released tomorroww! fill up my inbox guyss ! ♡

song of the dayy !!

[kenandeliza]

A Marvel Family Fantasy AU

A few days ago, I randomly dreamt of Drawing Billy and Tawny in a fantasy setting.

Billy was this kid wizard and Tawny was his companion (or an animal to ride on like a horse)

Then it got me thinking, maybe in this setting, Mary could be someone of high status in this fantasy setting (since she's in a rich family in the golden age comics)

I'm inclined to think Freddy would be a captain of a ship for irony-sake but I have a feeling pirates and fantasy settings don't match well?

It's just funny for me to think of him with a peg leg xD

After further discussion with @the-brash-spud :

Warning: Too many text :>

These are the ideas we have so far (if there are quotation marks, those ideas belonged to @the-brash-spud ):

—

Maybe Billy and Mary were prince and princess separated by birth, (i'm not sure if its a kidnapping or the baby got lost on his own) but the wizard founded billy and trained him.

At the ripe age of (insert young age below a teenager's), The wizard decided to grant him the power of shazam to turn him into the world's mightiest Wizard!

Captain Marvel!

Wizard dies and then Billy and Tawny have adventures together, maybe helping people along the way (maybe somehow found out that Mary is his sister :p idk)

“ I think you could go angst if you made the wizard get brutally hurt in a battle to protect Billy and the rock of eternity so in a last ditch effort he transports the rock to its own pocket of existence and then giving Billy powers of shazam because its as ready as he'll be able to make the kid :) and it's his last effort for Billy to be protected even if he has to do so himself because he has failed :)) made Billy cry as Wizard turns into dust in Billy’s hands :)))”

—

Uncle marvel can be a con-man/thief who took pity on Billy or realiz, teaching Billy that the world isn't always honest and he's like, "Billy, don't always give money to the poor on the streets, sometimes they faked their illness to be lazy”

" Billy: "The man in the shadowy corner needs my help."

Uncle: "No, the hell he doesn't!”"

—-

How Billy Met Freddy

Billy probably met Freddy in a bar fight. How did the kid get into a bar?

Billy looked at the man exiting the pub with a bottle.

Billy: Ohh! So this is where you get refreshments here! I wonder If they have enough Milk for Tawny..

Pub sign written NO KIDS ALLOWED!"

*Billy can only read magic scrolls and not regular alphabet*

Cue him meeting Freddy (who's armwrestling with one of the people there)

(Insert Bar fight for some reason because The child decided to drink a white cocktail thinking it was milk and the fact that Billy is a Kid)

“Freddie is definitely that kid having his ass thrown out of the bar/pub/inn”

I'd like to think he and his brother are a team, prolly sailed a ship together.

“Yes, they target slave ships. Unless you wanna go different routes. Then, he is focused on certain nations' flags that have a whole lot of red in them

Also, he goes to the bars just to start bar fights over drunks being mean/nasty to the landlady. The landlady doesn't appreciate it bc now she has a broken table and four broken chairs”

Freddy faces the Captain Nazi equivalent of a pirate [Captain Arian? Like Aryan?] XD, Freddy lost his leg the same way, from his encounter with Captain Arian.

Kit (probably a necromancer or a ghost who's cursed to be bound in the ship Freddy's in, making Freddy more attached to the ship) can still summon crewmembers.

Maybe they both meet mary during the birthday ceremony parade

Maybe Mary snuck off from her family (disguise herself as a regular girl, i know, generic plot) and then meet Billy accidentally

Billy: It's my birthday today!

Mary: What a coincidence! It's mine too!

The-brash-spud: “Billy, in his innocence, thinks ,"There must be something to us sharing birthdays!" While Freddy calls him stupid, Billy tries to get a look at the princes and then cue the lung-fu panda rocket incident, but maybe something else more fitting with Freddy being pulled along”

On an unrelated note, i think Billy knew about Freddy's peg legafter either a pirate slashed it clean and Freddy just used it to bonk his head.

Billy is still screaming from the shock and immediately casted healing spells (i'd like to think everything about billy is lightning based- so yes getting struck by lightning is a healing spell for him :D) Freddy got shocked lmao

And what about boarding Tawny on the ship?

Billy:"Please???"

Freddy: "I'm not letting a tiger into my ship."

Kit who absolutely adores animals: "YES"

Freddy:"NO!”

Kit:" Does he love belly rubs??"

Billy:" yes but you have to ask him politely for his permission-”

Freddy rolled his eyes, realizing he has to clean cat fur everyday off from the furnitures.

___

How did Mary, a royalty tag along with a kid wizard and a pirate?

“Yeah, I guess forced separation would work better. Hell, go with a scenario that will allow them to have Mary with the parents' blessings as long as she's kept safe (she isn't, but that's because she is the danger herself)”

Mary and Billy: "Yay adventure"

Freddy: "Oh great, now I have to take care of two kids and a tiger in my ship!?"

*Freddy looking at Kit and the kids + a tiger playing together, kit seems happy*

Freddy: "...i guess it's alright..”

___

How Freddy and Mary found out about the wizard?

“Hmmmm, maybe Billy takes them to the rock because they were in a pickle, and unforeseen effects happen?

They got surrounded maybe?

Also I can see the aftermath

"You were raised by THE Wizard!? THE Wizard?! A Wizard of legends so often told he is recognisable even if his name was lost?!"

"Oh, his name is Shazam-" *BANG*”

____

Hopefully i could draw these AU ideas, I don't plan on making this into a story, i just like the concept that my dream gave my a few days ago and I’m just expanding it. Sorry for too many text xD

I don't mind if you want to add something to this silly lil AU, It's just a fun thing for me to do :p

[agaypanic]

They're open yay omg!! Ok I had a cute idea for Rodrick Heffley if you're up for it! :)

Rodrick x Male!Reader where reader sings him 'boyfriend' by Big Time Rush the same way that Rodrick sang 'baby' by Justin Bieber for that one girls birthday (I literally don't remember her name lol but also it doesn't have to be his birthday) but like, it doesn't end as badly as it did for him lmao

Idk if they should be an established relationship between him and reader or if this is like readers confession so ill let you choose what you feel like writing for!

Boyfriend (Rodrick Heffley X Male!Guitarist!Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: While waiting for your friends to show up to band practice, you decide to show Rodrick a new song you’ve been working on.

A/N: this is my first time writing for rodrick so pls lmk how i did! au where reader wrote ‘boyfriend’ instead of btr (with a few tweaks). rodrick and reader are in the talking stage (i dont wanna say situationship but ig that works lol) but their friends dont know about it. the only instrument i know about is the violin so sorry if i get anything wrong. also i think doing singing in stories/fics is kinda weird/awkward but whatever lol

***

You always cherished the few minutes you had alone with Rodrick during band practice. Sure, you liked your other friends. But there was something about being able to watch Rodrick not put on the whole ‘bad boy rocker’ persona that he was used to wearing. Around you, he felt like he could wind down and not think as much.

Although, he didn’t think too much in the first place.

“I think we have a real shot at winning this talent show,” Rodrick said, drumming a beat on your thigh as he watched you tune your guitar. “We just need to practice more.”

“Well, I think we sound fine right now.”

“We don’t need to sound fine; we need to sound great!”

“Chill out, Roddy.” You said gently, putting a hand on his shoulder. “It’s a month away; we have plenty of time.”

“Don’t call me that.” Despite his words, the corner of Rodrick’s lip twitched up at the nickname. You were the only one who called him that. At first, he didn’t like it; it wasn’t a hardcore rocker name. But soon, he found himself getting giddy at the softness of it. “I guess you’re right, though.” 

Rodrick strummed his fingers across the strings of your guitar, laughing when you slapped his hand away.

“Work on anything new lately?” He asked, looking up at you from his hunched-over position. Along with being the guitarist, you were one of the main songwriters in Löded Diper, having many one-on-one writing sessions with Rodrick. That’s how the two of you grew closer, going from childhood friends playing on slides to somewhere between friends and something more, playing songs. Secret handshakes turned to lingering touches, and loud laughs turned to whispered jokes.

You were a bit hesitant to answer. You had been working on some new songs, but they didn’t exactly fit the Löded Diper brand. They were love songs, most, if not all, written with Rodrick in mind. 

“Kind of.” You finally say, picking at a frayed edge of your jeans. Rodrick perked up, always loving your new material.

“Yeah? Show me!”

“It’s not exactly like the stuff we play.” You argue, a bit anxious at the thought of Rodrick hearing what you had been toying with recently. “Besides, it’s not finished.”

Rodrick just shrugged, leaning back in his seat.

“Show me anyway.”

You hated how you could never say no to those eyes. You sighed and finally agreed, fiddling with your guitar while trying to remember the chords.

“No laughing.” You say.

“When do I ever laugh at you, Y/n?”

“All the time.” With that, you started playing. You gave Rodrick a nervous glance before clearing your throat and singing.

“Have you ever had the feeling you’re drawn to someone?

And there isn’t anything they could of said or done?

And everyday I see you on your own

And I can’t believe that you’re alone

But I overheard your friends and this is what they said”

Looking over at Rodrick, you saw him intently listening. Any other time, you’d be prideful of the fact that all his attention was on you. But right now, it made you wanna run. But you stayed planted in your seat and continued with the song.

“That you’re looking for a boyfriend

I see that, gimme time, you know I’m gonna be there

Don’t be scared to come put your trust in me

Can’t you see all I really want to be

Is your boyfriend

Can’t fight that

Knock me down you know I’m coming right back

I don’t care at all what you done before

All I really want is to be your

Boyfriend”

You let the last chord ring out before you set your guitar down and cleared your throat.

“So, yeah…” Rodrick kept staring at you. “That’s… the song.”

Rodrick scooted closer to you, and you lifted your head to face him eye-to-eye.

“Did you write that about me?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. You bit your lip, watching how his hair fell from the movement.

“Depends.” You say, taking a deep breath. “Did you like it?”

Suddenly, Rodrick laughed. It made you stiffen, but you soon relaxed when he put a hand on the back of your neck.

“You’re so corny, dude.” He said before closing the gap between you. 

After the shock washed away, you gripped at his hair and ratty t-shirt, wanting to keep him close. You had come close to kissing Rodrick a few times, mainly while drunk at parties that you shouldn’t have been at or during writing sessions that eventually got interrupted by Rodrick’s younger brother Greg. But those close moments didn’t prepare you for how good the real thing felt.

When you parted, you rested your forehead on Rodrick’s as the two of you caught your breath. You opened your eyes and moved back a bit so you could see him clearly.

“So…” You start, not knowing what to do from here. “Are you looking for a boyfriend?”

“Sure.” Rodrick snorted before kissing you again.

[murachinchi]

Some thoughts for my Hantengu x Tanjiro modern AU 🥺🥺

I have so many thoughts but im too impatient to write fanfiction and i just wanna air out my ideas lol and waiting for me to draw a comic for it also gonna take awhile so ill just write it down here! I might draw a comic based on this in the future but we'll see!

They met when Hantengu stumbled upon Tanjiro's bakery. The bakery is not new just that Hantengu never takes the route that pass the bakery on his way home lol

it was a love at first sight 🥺 on Hantengu's end that is lol. Tanjiro thought he was a creepy oldman that loitered outside his bakery 😂

Their first meeting

oki u guys remember how Tan didn't smell Hantengu's demonic scent?? i wanna add that here (?) but in this scenario Tanjiro just can't guess how Hantengu is feeling which fascinated him. he always have the advantage of knowing how people feel from their scent but Hantengu doesn't emit any of that or if he does it hard to tell.

this does take place in an omegaverse and Tanjiro is an omega while Hantengu is a beta. but that doesn't stop Tan to be able to scent people's emotion Hanchan just built different

Hantengu only comes in if he saw Tan behind the cashier, Tan's siblings noticed this and call Hanchan his secret admirer lol

on a slow day Tan decided to confront Hantengu about his weird behaviour but Han ran and stopped coming for weeks

one day Han came back on a busy time, Tan noticed him and told him to wait for him outside. almost an hour later Tan finally came out and apologized for making him wait this long in the cold 😂 But Han said that its alright. Tan offered to treat him food and they went to an oden stall

The whole time its just Tan talking LOL Hanchan's too flustered to say anything. Tan told him that he seems lonely that's why he doesn't feel angry or annoyed that Han do that just weird. this is where they start their friendship. every few days they went to eat at a stall and its either Tan or Han that pays but mostly Tan.. idk i feel like Han the type to take any advantage on getting free food LOL

ofc they got closer and Han start to talk alot more then one thing leads to another and they are dating (?) yes Tan asked how old Hantengu is and was surprised that he's only 40 😂 Han said he has a skin condition that made him look older than he should

pic above is their first ever official date 🤣 they ate at Hantengu's favorite ramen stall

i know Hantengu was the one in love(?) at first but it was Tan that confessed and ask him out. Tan was waiting but Hantengu never did so one day Tan brought him to a fancy restaurant and asked him out lol

Han was super insecure at first cause on top of dating someone younger he's not exactly good looking, but Tan just told him to stop insulting his bf. i like to think that Tan helped him to be more confident :D

in one of their midnight hangouts(?) Han mention that he mostly buy food from the convenience store so it's a nice change of pace to eat out like this. Tan was very disraught hearing this so he told Han to drop by his bakery before work so he can take a homemade lunch box to eat and not long after they start dating Tanjiro came to his house to cook dinner. This time Hantengu insist to pay for the groceries lol

idk why but i headcanon Hantengu's favorite food is karaage lol it reminds him of his late father. he's a busy man so he have no time to cook but he ocassionaly prep karaage for Hantengu to eat. One time when Tanjiro cooks him karaage he cried while eating it lol. they eat karaage for a whole week after that

Hantengu gave him a spare key to his apartment so Tan don't have to wait for him to get in. Tan also start doing chores around his house and found lots of Hanchan's hidden secret… his laundry 🤢

The first time Tanjiro helped do Hantengu's laundry he was baffled cause there were so many ruined socks and underwear that he still wore. so he told him to throw them all away and they went to a department store to buy new pairs. Tanjiro even offered to buy it for him 😂

Hantengu is an only child, his parents already passed away when he met Tanjiro. His mom died when he was young while his dad died later from a work accident

Tanjiro's family never expect Tanjiro to be dating Hantengu. it was a shock when Tanjiro said they are going out now. They thought Tanjiro was just being nice to this weird oldman 😂

His mom was against their realtionship. on top of the age gap he just look sketchy 😂 But his dad said that they should trust Tanjiro and just let them be

Tanjiro trying to convince his parents

His siblings ofcourse were very against it cause they want Tan to get back together with his ex 😂 Tanjiro's ex is Kyojuro :))

i changed their age here.. Kyo and Tan were childhood friends so they knew each other or a long time and their family are close too. it devastated both family when they broke up. The reason? who knows (i haven't decided yet)

The perfect Ex-boyfriend..

He also happened to be an acquaintance with Shinjuro. Picture above is Shinjuro lamenting about his son's break up

No, Hantengu was not a rebound cause it's been a few years after the break up

Tanjiro like to sleepover at Hantengu's place. its a nice change of pace from how hectic his house is 😂

One day when Tanjiro sleeps over at his house Hantengu woke up realising how happy he is and saw so many things have changed for the better ever since he go out with Tanjiro. When they were eating breakfast that Tanjiro made he just blurts out asking Tan to marry him. Then Tan chokes on his food (he said yes)

Tan was just surprised Han proposed to him, he thought he'll be the one who's gonna propose lol

Now Hanchan gotta charmed the whole family to accept him (?)

Tanjiro knows about Hantengu's parents so they went on a trip to go to his family grave to pay a visit :D They also met a few distant relatives of Hanchan.

this is how the meeting between Hantengu and Tanjiro's parents went

(he got their blessings)

Because Tanjiro will be inheriting the family bakery, Hantengu changed his surname to Kamado. so legally his name is Kamado Urami but Tanjiro still calls him Hanchan 🥺. Yes in this AU Hantengu's name was Hantengu Urami lol

their nickname for each other is Hanchan and Tantan

Tanjiro said Hanchan so much that their kids firstword is "Hantan" (MUAHHAHA don't worry guys it's actually just a baby talk cause babies have a hard time pronouncing "chan" ☝🤓)

their wedding is not that grand they just invite family and friends. Hantengu invites his boss and some of his co workers lol. they need em to shut up about Hantengu finding a bf/gf this way they'll stop. they have their suspicion about Han's love life but they never expect to received a wedding invitation lol

speaking of Hantengu's job.. canonically he is known to be really good at infiltrating according to Muzan at least lol. so i made him be a data analyst in this AU lol idk smtg to do with data 😭 he could be a government spy but that'd be too cool for this hantengu 😂

i said that Tanjiro gonna inherit the bakery right? well too bad... it didn't happen when they found out they gonna have a quadruplets 😂 so the bakery goes to Nezuko. Tanjiro helped out later on when the kids start middle school.

Their first ultrasound :D

Hantengu and kidoairakuzou by some miracle (me LOL) shares the same birthday. so it was a really hectic day for Tanjiro every year. Tanjiro likes to celebrate a quiet bday at night for Hantengu tho. sometimes with a small personal birthday cake or leftover cakes 😂

ok it's getting tooo long so im ending it here 😭 If you managed to read this far congratulation and thank you!! 😭 i will add more about the kids on the second part but i don't know when it will come out lol so stay tune!

HanTan🥺

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Hey!! So these days I’ve remembered a joke that was quite popular in the fandom about Shinichiro not being able to get a girl because Wakasa was always with him and they would choose Waka over Shin. I just wonder how much of this could be true, since we don’t have any info of Wakasa interest in this topic or if he know he is good-looking and uses it to his favor.

Idk it is nice to hear your thoughts about it.

Hi there!!

First of all, I love the idea that Shinichiro got rejected so many time because of a bunch of different reasons, one being that his flirting skills are so bad his awkwardness somehow surpasses his good looks (I'll argue that in-canon he was meant to embody any average Japanese man with no specific physical trait (despite having a mixed-race dad) but like, scratch that, Shinichiro is handsome. Perhaps not in an outstanding, eye-catching way, but he is very good looking.) and leads to girls basically running away because he's being overly head over heels for a first meeting, is being a tiny bit too hopelessly romantic than it's acceptable (and sounds desperate sometimes) or starts talking about bikes because he saw an opportunity to and he lovesss talking about them (and the only other conversation topic that comes easily to him is his siblings) so it can go on for hours - so they leave. Shame on them.

(Another reason is because he goes up to girls he saw from afar before confessing his love and they reject him because.. they don't know him - at most they know his face but he barely if ever spoke with them. He's a loser, I love him)

Secondly: Wakasa's part in all of this.

We already know Wakasa loves to mess with people, to troll them (it's in the guide book), and we also know that Wakasa - alongside Benkei - made fun of Shinichiro rather often (teen Wakasa and teen Benkei's sole two lines are really just this lol (chapter 230 and 269)). I'd find it hard to believe for Wakasa to not be aware of his attractiveness. I don't see him looking for a relationship, but he must know the impact he has on others - even only objectively speaking.

So honestly? I think he'd do it, yeah, just to laugh at Shinichiro (playfully of course, he has no ill intent). It also helps to sort girls who'd go to other (more attractive or not) men given the chance. Shinichiro would do bad with casual relationships, he wants to give all of his heart to the person he loves, he doesn't want one that can end. Wakasa rather have Shinichiro cry because 'it's unfair!! a girl was finally interested in me, why did you have to steal her heart?!!' than get his heart broken because he thought they had something only for her to leave once she found someone else.

(Alternatively, Shinichiro simply whining that if Wakasa wasn't there, he'd have a girlfriend by now because they wouldn't just all focus on Wakasa - whether he did anything for them to focus on him or not)

It robs Shinichiro from possible relationships, but it's more of a test from Wakasa than a mean joke. Because Shinichiro is his dear friend and he deserves the best. He gets hurt easily, and one of Wakasa's job - as a friend and as one of Black Dragon member - is to protect him to the best of his capacities. Physical and emotional wounds both

Also it's funny to see Shinichiro's reactions to it.

And it's not like he does something everytime - people look at him more than they look at Shinichiro whether he intends for it or not! He's not stopping it, though

I may have gotten too serious about a fandom joke, oopsies

[lemonandlime22]

For bitey child Yuu, did you write one for Silver? If not, I would like to request Silver because I think he is the only one missing.

Silver, Ruggie, and Cater with a scrawny and bitey Child!Yuu

Warning(s): not edited

A/N: I did the math and these three are the last of the students that i have to do, only characters left are the staff minus crowley and the rsa kids idk if ill do them tho.

[Bitey child!Yuu Masterlist]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Silver

He heard of you from his father

Lilia was making dinner

rip Silver

and telling him all about this little kid that started living in the abandoned dorm with a fire cat and how they'd do the

"funniest thing"

and bite people at seemingly random.

Malleus also mentioned you to him in passing

so he was aware of you but honestly didn't care.

That was until one day when he was taking a nap under his favorite tree just off campus

and he woke up to a small child curled up into his chest.

Now- what had happened was,

an animal that was going to Silver had caught your attention and you wanted to pet it

so you followed it all the way to a sleeping Silver, and when you noticed all the other friendly animals that sounded him, you took an instant liking to him.

You had always loved animals, not just dogs, so when you see someone that animals like/go to

you'll like them too.

Anyway, after petting as many as you could, you decided to take a nap with the animal man

which leads us to now.

Silver didn't think you were the kid his father and Malleus had told him about at first

he just thought you were some kid that managed to get into NRC somehow.

So he thought it was best to bring you to his father until they could get you home

Lilia nearly had a heart attack from how cute it was when Silver came into Diasomnia carrying a sleeping you yuu?

Lilia later explained who you were to him, and he was a bit shocked, he didn't imagen you to be this peaceful

he thought it was adorable.

Overall, is concerned about your biting habit, but as long as you don't do it in front of him he won't do anything. You guys don't talk all that much to each other neither of yall are much talkers but you do unintentionally nap together a whole lot.

Ruggie

Ok, first off I just want to say that I'm prob the most excited to write his hcs

Idk why I haven't written this sooner.

Now the reason I'm excited is cause yall are so similar

and cause of that you might end up being rly close a little later on

but that's later, let's go to the start.

Ruggie was searching around the forest area around Ramshackle for ingredients

and you just so happened to be exploring at the same time.

You saw him first

well more specifically, you saw his moving tail first

and being who you are, you wanted to pet/catch it.

"OW-!!"

If it weren't for the child latched to his tail he would have jumped nearly 20 ft in the air

you just looked at him, confused about his yelling, and just petted his tail

silently.

He's eventually able to shake you off and go back to his dorm.

You met Ruggie before you met Leona btw, and Ruggie had no clue who you were before this, so he was creeped tf out.

After your first interaction, he kept seeing you around campus more often

and he eventually found out about your biting

and...

he didn't care all that much, he did the same thing when he was little

and unbeknownst to him, for the same reason.

He's one of the first people to learn of your reasoning for biting

and after he does, yall grow a little closer

he teaches you all types of recipes and how to cook, different edible plants that are easy to find, and a bunch of ways to keep food fresh for as long as possible.

I wouldn't be surprised if you accidentally call him big bro/brother at some point.

Overall, your guy's relationship is prob my favorite out of everyone. He doesn't judge you at all about your biting like most of the others do, not only cause he did it too but also cause its normal for beast men around your age but mostly younger.

Cater

He heard about you from Ace's complaining about,

"Some freaky little brat"

that bit him.

He thought it was funny, but also just a little worrying.

When he met you he made a few jokes about you biting him,

but you never did

and after a while of painting the flowers, he realized that you were just so adorable and just needed to be photographed for magicam!

He's not all that big with kids like Trey is but he does think your cute and are good for his magicam likes

he also thought it was funny how you reacted to his unique magic

you were terrified at first and clung to grim for dear life.

He’s the one responsible for turning you into the well know omen you are now

every time he saw you bite someone, he’d retell it dramatically on magicam

It’s very popular.

Oh

and ya know in pt 1 of bitey child!Yuu’s adventures, where I said how you somehow magically are able to get into Heartslabyul and get to the sweets

yeah that’s Cater’s doing, he made a deal with you that if you came to the dorm every once in a while at midnight

he’d let you have as many goodies as you wanted

what can I say

everyone loves a mysterious cute creepy lil kid.

He’s always happy to hang out with you and babysit you whenever

you are a common visitor of the light music club.

Even though he likes to retell your biting tales, he still tries his best to get you to stop.

Btw he 100% encourages you calling Riddle and Trey, mom and dad.

Overall, he’s like that cool uncle you have no idea how to interact with. You enjoy being in each others presence but it still being a lil awkward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[descendinginto-madness]

welt except he has a fever and desperately needs sleep

cw: descriptions of illness, high fever, being kinda delirious/out of it, sleep deprivation?, nightmares, headaches, mentions of death

contains spoilers for welt's hi3 lore

also, disclaimer! welt in here is very reluctant to ask for help and feeling bad about it because... well i imagine he'd react like this, BUT! needing help and asking for it is completely normal and valid and okay; please remember that and take care of urself ok!! ily /p

alright, so...

i'm gonna be honest since i found @bugbytez13 's blog welt sickfic ideas don't want to leave my head LMAO except i will write a detailed description of a fic instead of the fic itself. that's it that's the post

tbh this ramble in particular could be made into two separate fanfics (one sickfic and one specifically about the nightmares) but shh

i will forever be self conscious or anxious about things i post that aren't just headcanons or silly little rambles, but also... writing this went surprisingly smoothly so! enjoy the essay or something idk HAHA

======================================

so, about welt...

i just know this man is going to force himself to stay awake. maybe his self-sacrificing issues are less present now, and he doesn't immediately throw himself in danger in every fight ever, but he's still stubborn as hell. so he won't admit something is wrong. he won't admit that maybe getting way too little sleep several days in a row wasn't doing wonders for his immune system and he's now finally feeling the consequences. to be fair, he expected it might end like this, but he didn't want to take breaks - there's still too many things to take care of before they finally head to penacony. and now, he will still insist of taking care of everything, even though his body is basically begging him to go take a nap.

except maybe, he didn't even expect it to get this bad. or thought that he can just power through it. i mean, he's been through much worse, right? this is nothing compared to literally losing his body for some time. but he's sitting in the parlor car, and he's half awake, and unusually cold, and his head is hurting, and keeping up the act is getting harder and harder - but he has to, because the younger members of the crew are here too, even if only march is talking to him.

but they pick up on the fact that something is wrong, of course they do. his eyes are unfocused, he looks like he's about to fall asleep - or pass out - and march had to repeat herself twice for him to even fully process what she was asking him, and so suddenly stelle is next to him, attempting to touch his forehead - and he recoils. "i'm fine," he says, and it's probably a bit too quick and a bit too firm than he'd like it to be, and all of this is stupid, really, because he shouldn't be scared of someone touching him. how hot can it really be anyway if he's feeling so cold, right? but if that wasn't enough dan heng asks an even more dreaded question, "are you sure, mr yang? do you want us to call himeko?" and welt decides it's time to excuse himself, before he makes them even more worried. because even in his present state, he can pick up on the fact they're concerned, but at the same time unsure of what to do, and it makes him feel guilty. of course they're unsure; he's usually their caretaker, and he always knows what to do, and it should never be the other way around. he should've just stayed in his room all day, shouldn't he.

"thank you all for your concern, but i'm alright." he stands up. "now, please excuse me, i still have some work to do." of course that's true, but he's almost certain he won't be able to focus on that- but he just needs an excuse to get out from here and be left alone anyway.

but stelle is right next to him, and looking determined to accompany him to his room, too. "you look like you're about to fall, mr yang," they explain, and he wants to insist that he's okay once again, but realizes he's too tired to do so. it would take him at least a few minutes, and it's a few minutes he doesn't have nearly enough energy for. he just wants to finally lie down. so, he lets stelle essentially escort him into the hallway and to his bedroom, and make sure he doesn't collapse on his way there, and-- it's embarassing, honestly, because it's already so difficult for him to show himeko the slightest hints that something might be wrong, and right now the situation is similar but ten times worse - so it's also ten times harder for him to come to terms with the fact he needs to rely on someone.

"my... apologies for making you all worry," he says quietly when they reach his room, and he's so thankful that he left the lights off, because the parlor car was way too bright, and though the hallway was a bit better, it still wasn't good.

"it's alright," stelle shakes her head, and stands there in the doorway, even as he heads towards his bed and sits down. "i'll ask himeko to check up on you in a bit?" she asks, and he only nods, though he isn't sure if she can actually see it. he doesn't want to talk anymore, he doesn't want to think because even just that seems to make his headache worse, he just wants stelle to leave, he just wants to sleep-- he isn't even sure if he understood her question correctly, but he also doesn't have the energy to care. he falls asleep the moment the door closes behind her, fully clothed and half covered with a thick blanket, but even then he isn't allowed a peaceful rest.

memories from old battles flash before his eyes, silhouettes of enemies he once fought, those against whom he won - but also of those who severly injured or even killed him, and with that come the memories of the pain

and the fear of losing his body again.

when he finally awakens, sweating, shaky for reasons other than his fever, and still feeling pretty awful, it takes him longer than usual to remember where he is. it takes him longer than usual to remember that he's safe.

but now there's medicine and a thermometer on his nightstand, and a note written in himeko's neat handwriting - though he actually spots and reads it some time later - telling him to rest as much as he needs to, because she'll take care of everything; and only after he does read it and feels a sense of relief come over him, he realizes how much the thought of having to leave all the work in order to take a break actually stressed him out. he still feels bad about it, because of course he does, and of course he's going to apologize to everyone later.

but he's also able to sleep more peacefully now.

[pricegouge]

my memory is so bad so if u’ve done this before just ignore but bear!price taking care of bunny on her period by snacks cuddles & orgasms :] & the sight & taste of her blood on him just makes him go a bit feral. sorry if it’s too weird😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Forgetful fighters unite 👊🏻

Sorry this took so long! Weirdly busy and then it turned out I actually needed this treatment too so uhh… hopefully it's not too late to bring you comfort, but at least it's a long one?

There actually is some of this in the actual fic (ch. 7? I think? Idk, I also forgot.) That being said, let's get you some fruit, bitch.

CW for period sex & oral. Tampon stays in for some of the foreplay, sorry. Pussy slapping, rough sex, breeding kink, light primal play, spit kink, mild dub con, and a spoiler for the main story if you haven't read it yet.

I think this'll have to be pretty early on in their relationship just because I like when Bunny's not used to being spoiled okay bye hope you enjoy :)

You're pretty sure he takes it personally, as if each cycle that passes is a mark against his abilities as both a man and a bear. John had yet to admit it but you knew he wanted to breed you, and every month marked by the arrival of your period meant he'd failed (you weren't even letting him try yet, really); worse, he'd let his mate suffer through another week of ill-designed resource waste.

He told you once he can smell it on you days before it actually started. It was weird, sure, but hard to complain when it always triggered some sort of pseudo-sympathetic response in him. He'd get grouchy because he was ridiculous, but never with you. Instead he spends the days leading up to your period doing some sort of nesting ritual comprised of overstuffing his cabinets with more pads, tampons, and snacks than you'd ever be able to use up in a single cycle. And towels. You're pretty certain no one has ever just happened to own this many towels.

"Maybe we should go back to pretending you don't know what my uterus is up to?" You'd teased him once while helping to unload his latest haul. You couldn't imagine him feeling obliged to buy you super plus overnight pads, an industrial sized bottle of midol, and what seemed to be an entire production run of your favorite Ben & Jerry's flavor was anyway to keep the romance alive after all. 

But John had looked so dejected at your suggestion. "Why? Did I forget something?" 

"Freezer space?" You'd laughed, shaking a bulk box of potato skins at him.

But it was no laughing matter the next day when you felt like you could've eaten him out of house and home if not for how thoroughly he'd prepared. You haven't teased him about it since, too scared to ruin a good thing. 

That doesn't mean you've gotten used to all the ways he likes to spoil you this time of month, though.

John's always so good at taking care of you, it's kind of unfair. You never plan on leaving him but it's times like this - when you've been airheaded and confused all day, snapping at coworkers for no good reason and apologizing minutes later when you realize you were the problem all along; when you let yourself back into his apartment and curl up to rot on the couch, too tired to even make yourself dinner while you wait on John to wrap up at the bar only for him to stumble through the door hours later with a hot to go container of garbage nachos and a paper bag tucked under his arm full of pads and tampons and more snacks than you'd ever be able to eat in your life -.

It's times like this when you realize if you ever do leave him, you'll be totally fucked.

"Is that what's wrong with me today?" you ask, pointing your toe at the haul he's currently unloading onto the counter.

He sniffs the air pointedly just because he knows it'll make you scrunch up your nose in distaste. "Tomorrow morning, I'd say."

You groan as you sit up, preparing yourself for the trek to the kitchen to get sustenance, but John brings you the nachos before you can get much further than the edge of the couch. "Thanks," you mumble as he places them in front of you, leaning over to press a kiss to your forehead. 

Or at least he pretends to. When he lingers, mouth moving against your skin, you know he's checking your temp. "You're welcome, honey. How you feeling?"

"Fine. Just tired and kinda airheaded."

"Poor bunny."

You hum in agreement but it turns to pleasure as you open the nachos up and get hit in the face with the smell of pulled pork and melty cheese. It's still hot which means it was the last thing the kitchen made before cleaning, probably kept in the oven even after it had been shut off to help keep it fresh while he ran to the store. Sometimes it makes you want to cry how thoughtful he is, but you ask him if he'd like to share instead. John shakes his head, eyeing the jalapenos warily. You snag one off the top and eat it plain just to show off. It's fresh and crunchy, none of that pickled shit. Delicious. "You still gonna kiss me later?"

Laughing quietly, John pulls you in for a quick, whiskery kiss. "Gonna take more than some greenery to stop me there."

***

Your cramps wake you up earlier than God the next morning. Despite it being only three in the morning, John's awake when you crawl back in bed, holding his arms wide for you to slide between. He could sleep through an earthquake, maybe even a robbery; but he always stirred awake if you left the bed for more than five minutes. 

"Need me, bunny?" 

You do, but you can't admit it yet. "Can you be big spoon?" You ask instead, knowing full well that wasn't quite what he meant.

He knew you knew it too, cocky bastard. Voice too thick to be properly chuffed, he still sounded quite pleased with himself when he rolled you over with a thick, "Of course, honey." 

John always runs at a temperature you're fairly certain should've gotten him admitted to a long term care unit by now, but in the dead of night, when he's all sleep soft and blanket warm, his skin is positively sweltering. He uses it to his advantage now, sealing himself against your achy back and reaching around you to cup what he can of your lower belly in his wide palm, letting you dictate how much pressure he uses. 

"Thanks," you grumble when he gets it just right, and you feel the bristle of his mustache when he smiles against the nape of your neck.

"Whatever you need, sweetheart." 

Whether you admit it or not, he means. 

He's patient enough to wait until you start wiggling in pain. He's not always. Sometimes the pressure of his hands turns groping, or his length grows against your back when he plants his nose to the hollow behind your ear, samples your scent with each breath. He'll tell you you smell good if you're lucky, some variation of 'delicious' if you're not. And now, while his actions are patient, his words aren't. "Smell good enough to eat, bunny."

Heat climbs up your throat, flames your cheeks. The problem is, he means it, and you're never sure what to do with that information.

"Wanna sleep, John," you breathe, lying. He drops it for the night anyway, letting you rest as peacefully as you are able with his body pressed up against your own.

***

He's lazy with you all morning, sitting you between his thick thighs and letting you lean against his chest as he sprawls across the couch. Officially, you're watching a movie together, but John does not seem at all engrossed in it; too busy running his hands up your thighs, middle finger following the seam of your bottoms far too high. It's embarrassing, your paranoia telling you you're leaking, growing damp under his palm. You know that's what he wants, though; wants you soaked, has never been too particular about the details of it.

Well, that's not entirely fair. John loves when you're soaked in blood. 

"Never been one to turn my nose up at a nice juicy rabbit," he'd told you once, and something about his tone made it clear he didn't mean turning you down over something as trivial as blood.

"Should I be worried you're gonna eat me some day?" You'd asked, laugh slightly nervous. 

"Oh, bunny," he'd leered, "I'm gonna eat you now."

It drove him crazy. Made him so hungry for you there were days you wouldn't even get cramps because he wouldn't leave you alone long enough for them to develop. Today wouldn't be one of those days - couldn't be, because he had to work later -, but the way he's actually bothering to take his time, building up your pleasure before he even technically gets his hands on you, you know he's planning on leaving you unwound for hours.

He doesn't bother slipping beneath the hem of your loose bottoms when he does finally give up pretenses, rubbing you through the thin material with the flat of his fingers. You know your concerns were valid when he groans. 

"So wet for me, sweetheart." His hand comes away streaked slightly red, and you only squawk a little when he licks it clean. 

This time he gets his fingers under your hem, eager as they explore your folds, seeking the font at the center of you. He grunts as if in disappointment when he feels the string of your tampon, but then laughs meanly, a low rumble in his chest which spills from him like springtime melt off over the gravel of a dry creek bed.

"Got you this wet even with this thing in, did I?" 

"That's not how it -." 

"No?" His free hand pulls your waist band down to your thighs. He shows you the mess he's made, sticky cum stringing between his fingers where it doesn't quite mix perfectly with the blood that stains his fingers. "What's this, then? Hm?" You feel like you might spontaneously combust when he licks his fingers again, groaning. "Tastes like cum to me." 

"John," you whine, tummy fluttering in a way you're not sure you're completely on board with. 

"You love it," he asserts anyway, and you're in no position to argue when his spit soaked fingers find your clit again.

He never fills you with anything more than you already have, makes you whine your dissatisfaction into the crook of his neck. You cum anyway, pussy throbbing the kind of womb-deep pain that comes easiest this time of month. He slaps you there, after, the sharp jolts making you clenching down hard enough to have your cervix aching deliciously.

When he deems you've had enough time to recover, John orders you bed.

"Gotta…" you point illustratively at the bathroom and he nods once in understanding. 

"Don't bother cleaning up though, only gonna make more of a mess." 

"You're a dog," you tell him, and then very much do clean yourself up, because it's a very heavy flow day and no one needs all that. 

He's still in his sweats when you return to him, lounging across a towel-covered bed. He pouts when he sees you've cleaned up, but is easily soothed with kisses when he pulls you into his lap. You don't bother commenting on his sweats after he leans back and slides you up his belly, encouraging you to grind against the thick thatch of hair there. It's soft, doesn't provide enough friction to do anything other than make you leak all over him. John does not seem sympathetic, too engrossed in the way his hair darkens under your ministrations, gleaming wetly in the sunlight streaming through the window. When his thumb finds your clit, he's rough about it. He holds you in place with his free hand wrapped around to the small of your back, only letting you move enough to keep you rocking against him. He doesn't build up to it, just instantly starts in with the kind of tight, firm circles that make you buck in overstimulation, moaning when you find you have nowhere to go.

"Christ, listen to her." Embarrassment floods you when you realize he's not talking about the pathetic noises falling from your mouth. It's like he's commenting on some particularly nice weather when he continues, "Nothing better than the sound of a bloody, wet cunt."

You cum with a sharp cry when he switches his thumb out for a mean press of two knuckles against you, and it's like he hardly even notices, eyes still latched on where you stain his skin. He doesn't let you ride it out either, drawing his hand away the second he feels your pussy flutter over his belly, clenching around nothing. You watch him lick his fingers clean as he tips you over onto the bed. He doesn't take his eyes from your core when he follows, kneeling between your feet before lowering himself to his belly. 

He looks starved. Looks more bear than man, honestly.

"If you lick your chops I swear I'm kicking you out of bed." 

A single huff of laughter blows across your mons, cool where it meets your soaked skin. John does in fact lick his chops, an aborted little joke he's too focused to fully sell. It makes you squirm, the way he looks at you - a butterfly pinned before it's fully died. Part of you hates how much you love this, still feels dirty whenever you see him bloody down to his chest. Despite his eagerness, there's always a nagging thought at the back of your mind which wonders if he's putting on a show for you, if he feels like he owes you this because it's the best way to make you feel better. The fucking was one thing - half driven insane the way he is each month by the fact you're still not full of his cubs, you suppose the fucking makes sense. Still, there's no way he wants this, surely.

But John never looks more bear-like than he does in these moments, half starved and rabid as he stares down at you like his latest kill, and you know there is simply no faking how much he wants you. 

"Pretty little cunt doesn't know what's good for her, bunny." John's voice is thick and dark as the blood that paints his lips. "Won't take my seed, keeps wasting all your energy on this bloody little cycle." He tuts, hands spreading your thighs so he can better fit between them. "Have to try harder, won't we?" 

He doesn't give you a chance to respond, licking along the crease of your thigh and groaning at the salty mix of sweat and spend. It's all so hot, slick. The rough texture of his tongue barely even noticeable through the juices that coat it when he licks fat stripes across the whole of you. He's sloppy, huffing and groaning into you each time he finds some new reserve of slick hidden within your folds. Usually, John likes to get you sighing in pleasure before he gets his fingers on you like this, but he isn't patient enough today, it seems. After licking you clean, he moves onto your clit and gives it some sweet little kisses that smack horribly, his fingers finding your entrance and drawing out more blood and slick which he doesn't hesitate to lick up as well. 

"Taste so fucking good, bunny," he growls; or at least, you think he does. Hard to be sure, the way he speaks directly to your pussy. When he does draw back to be sure you hear him, his beard is matted and soaked, his eyes wine dark. "Wanna split you open bunny."

You're not sure he means on his cock, but that's what you get anyway. 

John doesn't bother rubbing your slick over him, just pushes his waistband under his balls and lines himself up, sinking to his root with a heavy groan; his head bowed forward like he doesn't have the energy left to support it. It aches but you're powerless to do anything but take it, loving the way he notches against the very end of you, cervix so sore and sensitive he puts you on the knife edge of pain and pleasure without even trying. Your hands grapple up his thick forearms and he finally seems to notice your presence underneath him, lowering himself enough he can lick into your mouth. His mustache is soaked where it presses against you, smell strong enough to flip your tummy a bit. 

John notices. He chuckles, not giving you an inch to breathe. "Rabbits don't like blood, do they?" 

You shake your head, hypocrisy burning your throat at the way you enjoy him eating you out despite the blood when you can't stomach the same. 

"That's right, need your bear to take care of you like this, don't you?" His hips draw back in one smooth motion, accentuate his words when they snap back in.

"Yes, please," you stutter. Worked up and teased as you are, you know you won't last long. 

"Don't worry, bunny. I'll take care of you." He pushes himself back up so he looms over you, forearms flexing under your fingertips. He shakes one of your hands loose, bears his hips into you to support his weight as he brings one hand up to your jaw, fingers staining as he tilts your face just so, hinging your mouth open. "I'll fuck you just like you need, but you're gonna let me use that mouth however I want."

Even his spit is blood stained and pink as he dangles a string of it into your mouth. You whine at the taste when it coats your tongue, rust and salt. Somehow more metallic than even the smell of it. 

A predator sensing weakness, John snarls at your whine, shoves all four of his coated fingers into your mouth while his thumb strokes your jaw, too heavy to be soothing. "Suck," he orders, voice barely human. You wonder how close his other form is to the surface, if the fingers in your mouth will change shape if you can't appease him. Assure him you're his adamantly enough. The thought makes you clench on his cock, sucking the wide breadth of his fingers messily.

"Good rabbit," he growls. He adjusts your hips against his own, sinks impossibly deeper. He barely bothers to pull out when he fucks you, thatch of hair over his cock grinding against your clit as he rocks into you. When he speaks again, you're not certain you're supposed to hear.

"Drive me fucking crazy, bunny. Walking around smelling like my next fucking meal." His hips slap into you, pace increasing but depth never changing. 

You whine around the fingers in your mouth, hands scrambling over his chest, down his belly. You remember how full he'd been after Phil, the way his skin had been drawn so taut. His words should scare you, probably, but his teeth are none too sharp when he sinks them into the fat of your breast. 

"Shit, John," you hiss and he releases your flesh with a slobbery sound.

"Gonna fill you with my cub so I can drink from these too," he promises. You just nod dumbly, the thought of him feeding from you in any way he wanted doing things for you you never thought it would. "Get you full of my cub so you can stop. Fucking. Bleeding all the time," his hips accentuate his words and you groan, fingers finding your clit until he rips his hand from your mouth and slaps you away. Spit soaked, he rubs your clit deliciously, only getting more assertive when your hips fall open for him like a flower in bloom. 

"Dangerous thing, bunny. Blood in the water. He leans over, weight pinning you when he takes your earlobe into his mouth with bloody force. "Tasty little thing, too. Gonna eat you right up," he snarls.

Your orgasm pulls his from him, the two of you moaning into each other's mouths between wet, sloppy licks. It's hard to mind the taste when your whole body is pulsing deliciously, a flood of blood and cum flowing from you when John pulls out. It feels like he's taken a whole day off your period when you see how much of a mess he's made. 

He knows how your head can throb briefly, after coming with his cock lodged in your cervix. John lays you across the pillows while he starts cleaning up, bringing a wet washcloth out to wipe the worst of the mess from you. When you're ready, he joins you in the shower, lathering you both up until the water runs clear. 

"Feeling better, honey?" he asks, nose buried in the crook of your neck. Innocent and sweet, like he didn't just threaten to impregnate and eat you by turns. 

"For now." You're still rubbing soap into his hairy belly absently, so you grope the soft flesh there and laugh when he jolts. "You're not gonna eat me, are you?"

You feel his huff of laughter. He begins to shake his head and then thinks better of it, standing to his full height so he can tower over you when he says, "Depends on how soon you let me put a baby in you."

Next>>

[xxchromies]

Toxic Tumblr Communities

Tumblr is a very interesting place. I feel like women have always dominated this website. While it's a great place for women to express themselves, it's obviously created a lot of really toxic communities that in all honestly could probably only be created by women. You know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. You've got communities that normalize harmful behavior (self-harm, anorexia, drug taking) and communities that normalize harmful relationship dynamics (the teacher crush and true crime communities, the ddlg community, the kink community in general, etc.), all kinds of different shit. I won't deny that these are all really harmful in their own ways. BUT I can't stand the way many people talk about them.

It's not uncommon for people to make YouTube videos talking about these communities, and totally eviscerating the posters without showing a single shred of empathy, despite most of the posters being depressed, isolated, and traumatized teen girls.

When it comes to the communities that revolve around toxic behavior, I kind of hate how the posters are treated as if it is their fault and their fault alone for other people picking up on the behaviors. If someone looks at thinspo or a SH picture and is like "YES I want that!" did the post directly create those feelings? Or maybe JUST MAYBE the person viewing the post was already mentally ill and now they just become encouraged to be a part of a community with people they relate to? Also I kinda hate how people accuse these posters of "romanticizing" the things that they do, I really don't think it's true most of the time. I think what happens is that women are conditioned into always wanting to appear beautiful, and so they want even their pain to be beautiful. Which is why they then write "sadgirl" poetry about cutting or whatever. I also think it's a coping mechanism. If you're going through something difficult, the least you can do is be poetic about it. I also think that a lot of the times it's a cry for help. It's common to make fun of the emo girl who cuts for attention but even if it's for attention she's still hurting herself.

There are also communities that "romanticize" bad relationship dynamics. When it comes to the teacher crush community, I honestly don't think it deserves the hatred it gets. 99% of the posters have no plans to actually get with their teachers. In YouTube videos about this community, they often respond to the rare posts where underage girls gush about how their high school teacher reciprocates their love. The YouTubers blame the girl for posting about the situation and "romanticizing" it, rather than blaming the fucking adult male for taking advantage of a high schooler. It's abhorrent and I can't stand it.

The true crime community is less defensible, but even then, most of the girls do not support violence, it's more so a fantasy of being able to fix a evil man. And I honestly think it's reflective of the way society tells women and girls that they are responsible for men's feelings and actions, even the very worst of them. And pretty much all the posters are either depressed and isolated teen girls or 30-something year old women who have a history of dating violent and abusive men. When people criticize this community, there's something about the way they do it that's almost victim-blamey, idk. I won't act like what they're doing isn't harmful to the victims, but people act as if drawing the Columbine dudes being yaoi boyfriends or whatever is just as bad as the fucking shooting itself.

And the ddlg community on here mainly seems to be fronted by "littles" who roleplay as underage children having sex with their parents. Again, this is a baddd thing to be encouraging, even if it's through role-play. But I HATE how people act like pretending to be the little is the same as pretending to be the adult. All these girls are fantasizing about roleplaying sexual abuse and idk about you but they really do seem like victims to me. This is not a pass for them to promote harmful behavior but again I just hate the double standards. These people are turned on by being victimized and people somehow don't feel any sympathy for them. They act as if it's the EXACT SAME as being turned on by victimizing others.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I HATE how the standards for women are so much higher than they are for men. Women will post about the pain they are causing themselves, and society gets angry with them for daring to be upfront about it and/or trying to make it seem "beautiful". Women will post about how they want to be victimized, and society gets angry at them for promoting toxic relationships, while not offering them a shred of empathy and asking WHY they want that.

Idk I have a lot of thoughts on this. I'm not saying these girls are completely blameless and I really don't want it to be interpreted that way, but it's crazy to me the way people act like they are heinous and evil (and not like, victims of patriarchal conditioning) for romanticizing situations where they would be victimized.

[fictionfixations]

birthday bloom kalim

notice how much more azul speaks then kalim, cause azul's all flatter-y and like. the type to ig do ill deeds by walking circles around his prey and striking when they dont expect it (as in slipping in little things here and there that could make it harder to notice for example)

but kalims all honest and more to the point, so he doesnt need as many words to get there

oof

💀 kailm. sweetie...

admittedly i feel like his upbringing of basically being spoiled and kept as happy as can be from any stresses (as in yknow always being first in stuff and doing what he wants- remember that mention of kalim finding jamil during his break cause he asked the security guys to like idfk see th camera footage? or like. to find jamil. like. i mean. he was a kid but also that kind of screams of abuse of authority, but to be fair kalim was under the impression that jamil was his friend and would have no reason to think that jamil wouldnt want to play with him as much as kalim does. you see? because he's been able to see the world through sunshine and rainbows [in comparison to jamil being faced with the harsh reality and meant to be 'mature' enough to know what hes meant to do] it means he misses these cues, that he can be so oblivious to harmful intent. or like. being so positive that it could almost blind him? like

he wants to do his best to stay alive because. remember he mentioned that one time how 'what if [his poisoner i think] had a change of heart? it wouldnt mean anything if he was dead by then'. but thats under the assumption that theres. well. to put it bluntly, good in them and that they would act on it. i really dont know how to word it in a better way.

and. its not that its bad to view things in a hopeful way, its just that too much of it can be harmful.) only does him more harm

cause like. hows he gonna survive on his own? and i mean there might not be a situation like that. but like. by them raising him like that, it means that he doesn't know how to take care of himself.

and while he has servants and everything... im of the opinion that it would've been better to raise him self-sufficient. i mean spoil him as a kid ofc precious bby but also make it clear that he should also kinda be able to depend on himself too? like. like listen

make it clear that while he can trust other people, that they can also betray him. and i get that that creates trust issues, and also idk he probably already knows this in canon (its just that he wants to believe that they can change. and also because it just never occurred to him that jamil could turn on him since hes always been there)

cause. we know his other asim relatives have tried to hurt him. or well. maybe it was only mentioned in kalims' labwear vignette? i thinki it was that one.

so like. understanding that, and then giving him the skills to be able to manage on his own when needed to. not having to rely on other people all the time. cause i mean. well. this isn't the greatest lesson to teach but its like. the only one you can fully trust is yourself??

and i mean yeah he cares for himself (because so many bad things could happen if he died. or others could get hurt/punished because he died.) but it genuinely feels like hes only doing it for others and not for himself

maybe im puliing all of this out of my ass

but im STILL not over kalim talking about how frustrating/annoying it was to know that kalim only won because of jamil. that it was because jamil held back (also in relation to the truth of him always being chosen being broken, because it wasnt true at all. which i mean, if theres something that gets established in your head as what the truth is, finding that it isnt true at all is.. a lot. like. idk. that parents arent invincible, that they're human too.)

and then grim shoots him down with 'i didnt even get picked [to peform]! how do you think I feel?'

and kalim immediately apologizes. like

i swear this is like one of the only times i feel like kalims ever been outside of his happy 'im here for you if you need me' thing

or like one of the only times hes expressed his feelings (and probably knowing he's privileged, so not wanting to express his issues because he knows so many people have it worse than him ?)

and in all honesty. if he ever gets feelings talk about himself in book 4. i forgot a lot of it. and i think it mightve been partially because i knew the twist in advance so it just hurt me going through it knowing that they were wrong of who they suspected so. yeah.

uhmm. as you can see. i have a lot of thoughts about kalim. haha oops

[moodr1ng]

taking further weight/fatphobia/ed/general depression vents under readmore lol

cause like i cannot express how genuinely bad the fatphobia i have against myself is. like. when i picture myself in my head, in the future, i always imagine myself as skinny, bc ive lived my entire adult (and teen) life thinking of my body as a temporary impediment which ill eventually fix. early last year i thought i finally had and was so happy and then gained all the weight back. and idk what to do about it bc i have tried so so so hard to just 'accept being fat' and as i have said again i do not understand how that is possible in this society and i have never managed to get anywhere close to that and dont know how to.

and as a result of this i have considered like. every awful awful option out there for losing weight. like, i tried to get my doctor to prescribe me diet pills. i looked into ozempic and the only reason im NOT trying to illegally get some is that its for diabetic people and it harms them to take from the limited supply. i looked into various weight loss surgeries (be it bariatric surgery, which i cant get bc im not fat enough to qualify, or liposuccion but even if i could realistically afford it i hear it doesnt work in the long run). ive starved myself so much, tried so many diets, so many sports, never managed to stay on for long enough to maintain the results. no joke, i have considered developing a heroin or coke habit EXCLUSIVELY to lose weight, and the reason im not doing that is its too expensive. i complain about my adhd meds giving me food disgust but tbh every time it happens im also relieved bc it means i wont be able to eat for a few days. idk what to do anymore bc this is ruining my life and has been ruining my life for most of it.

i literally feel so worthless, ridiculous and unloveable specifically bc of my weight, and in particular the way its disposed on my body. i would be fine having fat arms, fat thighs, i would probably dig having a fat ass and chest and hips tbh! but i store all my fat on my belly and thats the one part i dont want to be fat, as well as my face and neck. this is such a massive block for me tbh. like, when i talk to new people i always feel like theyre looking down on me or find me pathetic because im fat (and bc im short which is my other major insecurity - i feel like being tall and fat is acceptable but not being short and fat). i dont take any compliments i get at face value bc i feel like everyone is just being nice by pretending like i could EVER be good looking. the only time ive ever felt attractive since i was a young teen was when i had lost the weight last year, and i couldnt maintain that bc it was so stringent.

sometimes when i think "i might be fat for the rest of my life and never manage to maintain being thin" i contemplate suicide over it. its like, the one thing about me i can never accept. i used to have so much internalized racism as a kid/young teen but i eventually got over that and came to appreciate my non-white features and even wish i had inherited more of my mothers looks (like her hair). i used to be so insecure about not being masculine enough but today im actually more into being kind of androgynous. i used to hate everything about myself and ive gotten much better about a lot of it. i dont hate my facial features or my hands or my legs or my arms anymore. i just hate my weight. and its the one thing i cant fucking get rid of.

and like, ive tried so hard to just.. look at other people ik with similar body types who i think are super attractive and think "if theyre attractive and they look like me, surely i could be too?" but it never works no matter what. and i mean, ik outside of like, societal fatphobia, a big part of it is my ed right. like obviously as long as i have an ed that is focused on wanting to lose weight im never gonna be able to accept being fat. but i cant get help for my ed bc there are no resources. and there are no medical professionals who will help me accept being fat bc theyre also fatphobic and they only want to help me lose weight, and they cant even manage to do that.

im just extremely tired of it all. every day i wish i was skinny. i can live w all the rest. i just need to be thin. i dont even need to be bone thin or whatever i just wanna be average. and its so fucking hard for so many reasons. i can almost never cook for myself bc of The Mental Shit. if i do cook for myself its rly hard to do anything complicated so its often not very balanced or healthy. and i rely so much on fast food, takeout and frozen meals bc of this inability to cook. and then theres the emotional shit - bc ever since i was little ive binged whenever i felt anything. bored? binge. angry? binge. sad? binge. happy? binge. theres no emotional state that doesnt wanna make me binge. and the only way i can stave it off is like.. either indulge in other vices (drugs alcohol etc) or just. dip into the restriction part of the ed and start starving myself again. and ofc once it becomes unbearable.. more binging. idk. idk. im at a loss. no one can help. and theres so many things piled on top of each other that make everything impossible.

im not even just talking about the weight - i mean everything in my life is like this carefully balanced tower of cards where each bad thing supports another bad thing supporting another bad thing until it builds into this massive self-sustaining network of dysfunction.

its like. i wake up in the morning (still tired from whatever the hell is wrong w my sleep, probably didnt sleep enough or too much, either way feeling bad). my room is a mess and theres fruit flies everywhere bc of the heat and i need to clean, but bc i woke up exhausted and feeling sick i have no energy to. i go get some water and theres a pile of dishes in the sink that are getting grosser and grosser but the idea of washing them is so daunting i cant bring myself to. i need to shower, but showering is such a hard task, and then if i shower i also need to brush my teeth and take care of my hair and thats so much energy. and if i do all that, well, i havent done the laundry in like 2 weeks so i have nothing clean to wear, so if im gonna shower i should do the laundry so i dont just get clean to put on dirty clothes right. and doing the laundry and hanging the stuff to dry is also such a hard task. and then if im clean and wearing clean clothes, am i just gonna get back in my dirty bed? i also need to change the bedsheets, and i hate doing that. and if im gonna change the sheets then i probably should fucking clean the bedroom, right. and i dont have the energy to do literally any of that. so im dirty, my room is dirty, my kitchen is dirty, i feel like shit, im tired, i havent eaten anything yet. maybe a decent meal would help. but a meal means cleaning some pot and pan to cook stuff in. and then it means cleaning it again after im done cooking, and also cleaning the dishes. and fucking hell i cant do that. so i think, maybe ill go to the convenience store and get a sandwich. but that means i need to get dressed and do my hair and i probably smell bed and i cant just go out like this and im SO TIRED. so i go to order takeout. and sure i could get something fresh and healthy like a poke bowl or something, but thatll cost me like 25 bucks, and i could just get a burger and fries for 10. so i get that. and i dont feel any better, because ive been eating carbs, sugar, and some shitty processed meat near-exclusively for the past several years. and im so tired and feel so awful and so guilty and so gross, so i just start smoking and drinking. maybe if im lucky ill do some art or whatever. and thats how my day goes and then ill go to sleep in my unchanged sheets unshowered laundry undone room dirty dishes piled up. have a bunch of nightmares wake up drenched in sweat etc. and do the same thing tomorrow.

and idk how to fix any of this bc its a cycle right. like where do i start? i feel like i cant do anything bc everything is SO heavy SO tiring SO daunting and im just so exhausted. i want to sleep for 10 years. i want to be happy again. but whenever im not happy i forget how it felt to be happy. so theres nothing to look forward to. and then i think about killing myself again. and thats just how it goes.

ig thats why im so so hopeful to actually get an at-home aid who can get me to do chores and get groceries and shit bc that might actually be the one thing that breaks the cycle, cause i definitely cant do it by myself.