#its always the same with asks im always left wondering if i answered well/the way that was intended. apologies for that i tend to overthink

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Hey!! So these days I’ve remembered a joke that was quite popular in the fandom about Shinichiro not being able to get a girl because Wakasa was always with him and they would choose Waka over Shin. I just wonder how much of this could be true, since we don’t have any info of Wakasa interest in this topic or if he know he is good-looking and uses it to his favor.

Idk it is nice to hear your thoughts about it.

Hi there!!

First of all, I love the idea that Shinichiro got rejected so many time because of a bunch of different reasons, one being that his flirting skills are so bad his awkwardness somehow surpasses his good looks (I'll argue that in-canon he was meant to embody any average Japanese man with no specific physical trait (despite having a mixed-race dad) but like, scratch that, Shinichiro is handsome. Perhaps not in an outstanding, eye-catching way, but he is very good looking.) and leads to girls basically running away because he's being overly head over heels for a first meeting, is being a tiny bit too hopelessly romantic than it's acceptable (and sounds desperate sometimes) or starts talking about bikes because he saw an opportunity to and he lovesss talking about them (and the only other conversation topic that comes easily to him is his siblings) so it can go on for hours - so they leave. Shame on them.

(Another reason is because he goes up to girls he saw from afar before confessing his love and they reject him because.. they don't know him - at most they know his face but he barely if ever spoke with them. He's a loser, I love him)

Secondly: Wakasa's part in all of this.

We already know Wakasa loves to mess with people, to troll them (it's in the guide book), and we also know that Wakasa - alongside Benkei - made fun of Shinichiro rather often (teen Wakasa and teen Benkei's sole two lines are really just this lol (chapter 230 and 269)). I'd find it hard to believe for Wakasa to not be aware of his attractiveness. I don't see him looking for a relationship, but he must know the impact he has on others - even only objectively speaking.

So honestly? I think he'd do it, yeah, just to laugh at Shinichiro (playfully of course, he has no ill intent). It also helps to sort girls who'd go to other (more attractive or not) men given the chance. Shinichiro would do bad with casual relationships, he wants to give all of his heart to the person he loves, he doesn't want one that can end. Wakasa rather have Shinichiro cry because 'it's unfair!! a girl was finally interested in me, why did you have to steal her heart?!!' than get his heart broken because he thought they had something only for her to leave once she found someone else.

(Alternatively, Shinichiro simply whining that if Wakasa wasn't there, he'd have a girlfriend by now because they wouldn't just all focus on Wakasa - whether he did anything for them to focus on him or not)

It robs Shinichiro from possible relationships, but it's more of a test from Wakasa than a mean joke. Because Shinichiro is his dear friend and he deserves the best. He gets hurt easily, and one of Wakasa's job - as a friend and as one of Black Dragon member - is to protect him to the best of his capacities. Physical and emotional wounds both

Also it's funny to see Shinichiro's reactions to it.

And it's not like he does something everytime - people look at him more than they look at Shinichiro whether he intends for it or not! He's not stopping it, though

I may have gotten too serious about a fandom joke, oopsies

[the-fiction-witch]

She's Not Well P3

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Dark

Nooooo we need a part 3 im so curious nowwww

we need part 3 plzzzzzzz

I love it…..3!!!!!!!!

WE NEED PART 3 !!

Part 3 please 🥹

Ahh I need more pt 3 plzz

PART THREE, 3, tres

I need part 3 now

I finished up my work for the day cleaned my hands off and headed upstairs towards my room in the setting sun. I had seen Y/n fairly often and she never left my mind, she would always just pop down for some kisses and a cuddle and scamper away before Prof noticed she was gone. Which never gave us much time together even if I savoured every second of it. Prof did keep her on a very short lead, seriously guy drinks like a fish and can barely remember his own name let alone his patients most of the time but he keeps a watchful eye on Y/n like she was made of gold. 

I had wondered around the hospital many times and decided to do so again tonight, I had been trying to find whatever room Prof keeps her in, so I wondered the hospital corridors past the various doors and rooms I know well, I ended up down in the morgue as I had sort of been working top to bottom on the hospital over all these nights I was about ready to give up when I spotted a door down the corridor from the Morgue room between it and the stairwell, it was a heavy wooden door with many scratches and replaced parts, the doorknob had recently been removed the wood stain revealing its prior place, A lock on the outside with a heavy padlock that was covered in scratches. I knew those scratches well, as a life of thievery taught me not to leave them, someone had been picking this lock more than once, clearly someone not great at doing it leaving scratches and chipped mistakes.

I knocked on the door but no answer came, but my curiosity had already peaked. 

I took my scalpel from my pocket and worked slowly and quietly to pick the lock, once it clicked open I pulled the padlock out and slowly crept into the room. 

The room was... strange, clearly once an old stock room. But The walls had layers of wallpaper so much the walls seemed thick, The same pale cream wallpaper with lilac flowers coated the walls even if it had been ripped and broken revealing the layers underneath, The wooden floor covered in rugs and blankets giving it a slight bounce as I walked, The room was empty... With very little in the way of furniture, A small wardrobe built into the wall and the doors removed, a basket by the door, a small vanity table where all the corners had been rounded and the mirror broken beyond the ability to still use it but taped in place, a metal bathtub in the corner, A metal hospital bed filled with blankets and pillows, A small brown teddy bear sitting on the pillow. The small window was lined with thick metal bars like the morgue. A body knelt on the floor facing away from me, The room dark with a deep scent of blood in the air... 

"Y/n?" I asked my fears slipping through for a moment, 

The body shot me a look for a second I could have sworn I saw glowing eyes and a face of utter rage - 

before My body was thrown backwards. 

My back hit the floor, I quickly got to my feet as I saw the professor had thrown me out by my collar he slammed the door shut and bolted it tight. The door began to bang and scratch screaming echoing from inside, 

"wh- what was that?!" I asked, 

For a moment he only gasped, leaning his shoulder against the door until the screaming silenced, "You are relieved of duty Doctor Dawkins." 

"wha- what?"

"You. Are alleviated of your duties here." he said, "Pack your things and leave." He demanded before he began the walk back up to his office, 

"What! No! You can't just fire me!" I complained following him,

"I do not want to hear it!"

"I am the best doctor here and you know it!"

"I have spoken my word on the matter," 

"You can't just fire me! For what opening a door?!" we arrived at his office he tried to shut me out but I grabbed the door before he could close it and slammed it behind it,

"Enough! I have made my decision! you are to leave Port Victory Royal Hospital immediately!"

"I refuse!"

"This isn't up for debate!"

"what was that! What is going on! where's y/n!" I yelled 

"That is y/n!"

I froze up, "what?"

"That is Y/n. That's her room." He slumped into his chair his head in his hand, 

"... Y/n she's-"

"she's not well."

"Please... how is she not well?" I asked taking a seat across from him, 

"...She's been like this forever. Always a very strange little girl."

"Because she doesn't talk?"

"She's never said a word. She cried when she was little and once she grew out of crying. She never spoke a word no matter how anyone tried." He explained, "She was... different."

"How so?"

"Other girls want to play with dolls, She wanted to play with animals, At first we thought it was sweet, seeing her go out into the woods bringing home koalas and wombats with her," he chuckled, "She built herself a little animal hospital in the basement, I thought it was sweet kinda hoped she'd be a nurse when she grew up but..."

"But?"

"But it didn't last long, we thought she was being sweet wrapping animals up and taking care of them but she wasn't. She was opening them up and experimenting."

"Like surgery?"

"Somewhat... We didn't really look into it too much. We got her to a doctor as soon as possible." 

"... what kind of doctor?" My voice broke slightly,

"We sent her a doctor. A specialist. And he recommended she be... taken away."

"Taken where."

"The asylum. She is not well. She needed help."

"you send her to the Asylum!"

"She is not well!"

"So you sent her to the Asylum!"

"I am the head surgeon of this hospital and I will not hear from you! An untrained butcher! about how I see to the health of my granddaughter!" 

"... If you sent her to Asylum why is she here?"

"... her father died. While she was inside... her mother... I lost my daughter to the birth of her second child. As she laid in her bed... knowing her end. She begged me. Her dying wish was to take Y/n out of that place. She wanted her to be with me. Her mother never wanted to send her in the first place so... even if I disagreed. I did as she asked." he explained, "I am keeping her here. But she MUST remain in her room. For her own safety. and the safety of everyone else outside this place." he explained, "She is not well Doctor Dawkins... Not well at all." 

"So you're going to lock her down there... let her rot?"

"...what would you have me do?" 

"...Let me help her."

"You!"

"Please... let me help her. At least let me try..."

[wiltedkyinn]

blunts and parks

synopsis; you went to phoneix, arizona for your fifeteen brithday trip. being blown off by your so called bestfriend opens now doors and new friends.

pairing- madeline mcgraw, mason thames and miguel cazarez mora x gn reader.

____

here i am, currently waiting for my bestfriend, junior, to meet me at the park. it feels as if its 113 degrees but it was only 94 with no wind and straight sun. it probably wasnt the best idea to go phoneix in the middle of the summer. i look out to see if he is atleast at the park. instead of seeing him i see a group of 3 of familier faces walking around. its was 2 boys around the same height and a girl that looked no younger then 14. the buzzing from my phone snapped me out of my thought. i answered it already knowing a who would be on the other line.

"yo im staying with valerie for the rest of the day" i could hear a girls voice in the background talking about money to go somewhere. "what was the point of bringing you on my brithday trip"  i mumbled. "we can hang out later. i gotta go." his usally loud voice was smaller. then there was slinence. groaning i look around again, im on the swings covered with some shade i found. i find the small group by the tables near me, their backs facing me. i started to rummage in my jackets pocket, knowing what to do to make me feel better.

pulling out the small tube i always carry around along with my lighter and airpods. putting in my right airpod and turning on whatever playlist that i was listening to last started to play. thinking about the group again before popping open the top. i slowly started to get up from the swings, i headed my way towards the small tables. the closer i got the more i was able to hear the voices. it started to mush with the song i was listening to. "sorry but do yall care if i light this? its a blunt" my voice a little raspy due to not having any water on me.

the trio looked at me then back at eachother before the girls nods speaking, "yeah we dont have a problem with it." giving them a small smile "thanks," i walked back to the swings. thinking about the group again, i had forgetton my glasses while packing so it was hard to see even if i was up close. i couldnt quite make it out but they looked familiar. the girl, who i mostly looked at reminded me of the actress Madeline mcgraw, the girl who played gwen in the black phone movie.

pushing whatever i was thinking about to the side so i could focus on the cone shape pre-roll. igniting the red lighter, i rotated the joint in the fire. i brought it up to my lips and took a hit. inhaling and then exhaling. i focused on the song that just started playing, pink + white by frank ocean. i started to inhale again only to be stopped seeing a shadow figure walking up to me. i grabbed my phone and turned it down a little, loooking up i was met with the same girl from before. "hi im maddy and me and my friends were wondering if you would like to join us? the suns getting a lil stronger."  she pointed towards the table she was sitting at. "oh uh sure, and im (name)" as soon as i got up to stand i realized how hot it actually was, the heat was overwhelming. "should i put this out or do you guys wanna smoke it with me?" i asked as we both got closer to the park table. "if you teach us how, sure!" her smooth voice stayed upbeat.

i took the free seat next to the tan boy with long dark wavy hair. "mason, miguel this is (name), (name) this is mason and miguel." suddenly it snapped, they were the actors from the black phone. the 2 boys said lil hi's. i took another big hit, then tapping it so the ash falls off. i look at mason, since he was on my left infront of me. "well mason do you wanna hit this?" he thought about it for a moment then nodded his head.

"so how do i do this?" his brown eyes looked at me for help. "so you just suck on it till you get enough smoke  and then you take another breathe to actually inhale it." i tried repeating what my older brother taught me a while back. seeing succesfull as he exhaled a cloud while coughing. he handed it to maddy while still trying to catch his breath. holding back my luaghter i remembered the first time i smoked. i look over at maddy and she seemed pretty hesitant, "its okay if you dont wanna," i told her she looked at me then at her hands. she brought it up to her lips and took a breath. she exhaled same as mason except she was able to control her breathing a bit better. she passed to miguel, and when he exhaled he was fine. i figured maddy and miguel did better since they were in some type of sport or exercise.

when i was passed the blunt they stared at me. i took a hit normally and exhaled normally. i started to feel a wash of an euphoric state take over me. i could already tell mason was high. his eyes were red and glossy. i hinted at him to take it but he nodded his head side to side. i did the same with maddy and she took it. "so are you from here?" miguel asked. "nah im here cause its my brithday trip. but im from las vegas," maddy raised her brow "why are you alone on your brithday trip?"

i was handed the joint again, "me and my friend, junior were supposed to hang out today but he bailed on me to stay with his girlfriend." shrugging while i spoke. "thats a dick move." mason snipped quickly. i agrred with him, i did pay for juniors ticket and hotel room. we stayed like that for a while. luaghing and coughing. "(name)!" our peaceful moment interrupted by a forgien voice.

i looked behind me to see a girl with curly brown skin and deep brown skin. valerie, juniors girl. i never officially met her, as she and junior were long distance. "valerie? what are you doing here?" as i got up to hug her. while i didnt know her face to face we have talked one in a while. "junior said we were meeting here today to hang out with you." her voice held some confusion while my head wasnt even processing. "he told me that he was hanging out with you for the rest of the day. you were there when he called me?" i became genuinely confused.

"i havent even seen him today, so hes spending a dat with someone he lied about being his girlfriend?" her voice was hurt while her face was stotic. "oh-" "i cant beilieve he's putting me through this agian" her usal confident voice gone, becoming bitter more as she spoke. she pulled out her phone and calling who i would imagine was junior. she stromed off into her car for some privacy.

"what the hell" i looked back at the intoxicated teens next to me and they laughed, i shrugged it off. "how old are you turning (name)?" mason asked his eyes werent red anymore, but still glossy. "fifteen" miguel turned his head towards me with a semi-shooked face. "i thought your were like eighteen, you look so much older" the other two nodding their head in agreement. my phone started to buzz again. answering it automatically i was greeted with junior yelling. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING TELLING VALERIE THAT I WAS WITH ANOTHER GIRL?"

"its your own fault for using me as an excuse junior, plus its on you for cheating." he began to yell again but i didnt see the point of talking to him, so i hung up. "i should be leaving soon, it was nice meeting yall" giving them all a smile. "we should hang out again," maddy said. "here give me your number and ill send it to the boys" maddy extend her hand to me, her phone dail already open. swiftly putting my number in along with my name, i gave it back. "call me when yall wanna hang out" i gave a small wink and walked away.

[chuurroez]

the day 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 me

��� pairing: Sung Hanbin x gn!reader, set in non-idol verse ^^

ღ genre: angst, really bad angst.

ღ warnings: i'm not sure if there is any, if there is, please tell me!

ღ summary: you wondered where it went wrong, was it you? or was it him that went wrong? you wanted to know answers to your questions that you knew wouldn't be answered.

ღ notes: hi! this fic is inspired by laufey's latst release 'california and me', i suggest listening to the song before continuing to read this fic! tysm to the people who voted on my poll. this isnt in order of the actual song and i skipped a few lines for the fic to make more sense. do you guys want a part 2 of this btw? im sorry if this is rpetty short, the lyrics weren't as long as i thought. :(

ღ word count: 970

''Should've figured that you'd go back to New York Don't consider me when you run back to her"

Sung Hanbin was the perfect boyfriend for you, he was everything you'd want for a partner. He was caring, loving, respectful, kind, affectionate, he was perfect. almost. He became distant from you the past few weeks, you always wondered why. You tried to ask him why he was becoming more and more distant from you but he always said he was just stressed and busy. You knew he was lying, whenever he and problems, he would always open up to you about it. On the earlier stages of your relationship with him, he told you about his ex in New York, the same place he'd be going back to for her. You should've figured that he'd go back there anyways, your relationship has been going downhill ever since he became more and more distant from you. You knew you were just a distraction from her when Hanbin broke up with his ex, a distraction from all the pain he felt when she left him.

"You don't have to hide it, I know why you went Said you needed space, I know better than that"

He tried his best to hide the real reason he went back to New York, for her. He reasoned that he needed space for a while for his departure but you both knew it was a lie. You knew the actual reason of his leaving, he was like an open book that you read very well. He thought you were oblivious to his actions, but of course you knew better than that. You knew he lost his feelings for you, you knew he never truly loved you in the first place. His heart still belonged to her, the woman he first loved and still loved. He didn't care that you were a distraction for his aching heart, he waited and waited for her to come back. I guess she did so after all, huh.

"Could've fought for you but I just let you leave Hurt too much to consider you didn't love me''

You had a choice of trying to let him stay, but you just let him go. It would've been a failed attempt anyways, he never actually loved you. It broke your heart to think that he maybe never for once thought about you for you. He just thought about you as her. You wonder if you looked or acted the same way as she did, you would've been correct after all, right? You stayed speechless the time he waved goodbye at you, it gave you a glimpse of hope that he would come back, but deep in your heart you knew it would never happen. You wanted you to say something, but you stayed with your gut that said to just be quiet for the sake of it. You didn't want to ruin this moment for him just for you.

''I imagine you holding her in your arms Laughing 'bout how I thought that you were the one"

You tried your best to think positive and stay happy without Hanbin, but your mind said no. You imagined him holding her in his arms, laughing about how oblivious you were to Hanbin's plans. You thought how crazy it was for you to fall for his tricks. I mean, who wouldn't? He was charming in every single way possible, who wouldn't be able to resist his charms? Your mind clouded with all the thoughts of Hanbin and his ex living their best lives, especially Hanbin, he got to live his life without you, you were like an old t-shirt that was thrown away because it didn't fit the its owner anymore. You didn't blame him for that, you always thought she was better even if you didn't know what she was like. She should've been better than you for Hanbin to go back to her, right?

''Left me and the ocean for your old flame Holding back my tears, I couldn't make you stay''

Beach dates were Hanbin's favorites, or were it her favorites? Did he force himself to go on beach dates with you because they reminded them of her? You loved going on those beach dates as well, it made you feel as if you and Hanbin were the only people there, it made you feel...free. You tried your best to hold back your tears that were already on the verge of escaping as Hanbin went on the plane. You saw a glimpse of his face that somewhat looked...sad? You didn't care much though, all that was on your mind was the person you loved most in life just left, but he needed space from you, didn't he? You couldn't make him stay, you wanted to but you didn't have the courage to do so. Maybe it was the fact that maybe your were the problem in the relationship? Maybe it was actually you?

"Can't quit this, so damn wicked to leave California and Me"

It was so cruel, so damn wicked for him to leave you behind. He didn't even explain why he was so distant from you, but you didn't need it though, right? He left for her. The person he loved most with you being the next. You met Hanbin in California, in which your relationship with him bloomed more and more, but all flowers have to wilt in the end, California was the same place he left you. Who knew that your relationship with him would start and end at the same place? A part of you despised him for his cruelness, the other part knew he needed this and stayed hopeful that the negative things you thought about would never happen. I guess you were right after all, weren't you?

likes, comments, reblogs, and feedbacks are greatly appreciated!

[teecupangel]

i am already unfathomably attached to the transistor au (sent the same day you first posted the ask), and would love to hear more about how he breaks away from Lucy and the assassins. like, does he still do some Ezio memory diving with Shawn n Becca n Lucy before going AWOL? did Altaïr tell Desmond about Lucy's betrayal or did they figure it out based on Altaïr being suspicious of her and going digging?

does her death spur Becca and Shawn and/or Bill to start looking into Lucy or do they double down on the "she’s our friend and we trust her"?

im loving the stargate/tok'ra vibes of transistor in general, but especially having read stargate brotherhood by the ever-lovely esama. do Desmond and Altaïr like share brainspace or is it more than they just communicate telepathically?

and just for my own visuals, how does Des wear Altaïr’s sword? like at his hip or (stretching believability) on his back? horizontal at his lower back?

(anyways thank you for answering, your ideas are always so wonderful and inspiring and it’s actually kind of a problem when I just want to write something for all of them. but thanks, I hope you and yours are doing well 🧡)

The Transistor AltDes AU for those curious.

He didn’t need to break away from the Assassins because he and Altaïr decided to kill every single red in Abstergo’s Rome facility… which includes Lucy.

They run away afterwards, with the Sword of Altaïr having the properties of a Sword of Eden, including a shockwave that manages to destroy surveillance cameras and other recording devices.

The most they were able to save from the recording are videos of Desmond walking before the sword glows gold and the recording ends.

They don’t necessary thought it was Desmond until they learned that Lucy died by being beheaded. Others died from puncture wounds the size of the Sword of Altaïr in vital points of the body or, strangely enough, by what appears to be something similar to thunder strikes (this is, of course, a capability of the Sword of Eden as seen in AC Unity).

Becca and Shaun definitely believes that Desmond has fallen into the madness of the Bleeding Effect and they’re torn between wanting to save him because they believe it’s not his fault, it’s the Bleeding Effect, but also they can never forgive him for killing Lucy.

Bill is actually the one who believes there’s more to it because he believes that Bleeding as Altaïr wouldn’t have Desmond go on a killing spree. He saw Lucy as an enemy that needs to be cut down and, not only that, he might even believe that Lucy being the only one beheaded among them means something (it does, beheading is a common punishment for traitors that must die for the Levantine Brotherhood and it is also the way Umar Ibn-La'Ahad is executed by the Saracens).

Of course, Bill and Rebecca thinks Bill is doing this because he wants to protect his son (which is also true but Bill is also being logical about this)

Oh man, yeeessss. I love Stargate Brotherhood, mainly because I love Stargate and I love esama’s works hahaha. For this one, I think it would be fun if they believe that they’re just telepathically communicating but the truth is it’s sorta true? They’re communicating telepathically… for now but the more Desmond and Altaïr stay together (aka: they talk telepathically), the more their brains sorta… connect with one another. This is a key to how Altaïr can save Desmond later on as I have written in the reblog of the original ask.

My initial idea is that Desmond actually holds the scabbard on his left hand like Virgil in DMC because the sword itself is a one-handed sword so it would work.

But when he’s trying to go incognito, my first thought was a drawing/blueprint storage tube because I remember Blood the Last Vampire XD

But then I remember it looks like this:

And that won’t work because of the wing crossguard of the Sword of Altaïr.

Unless…

the wings can be folded which becomes a clue that the sword can change its form in some ways.

(Thank you! I would absolutely love it for you guys to write these ideas because there’s so many that I can’t do it myself but no pressure. I’m just happy to read your asks, reblogs and replies to any of the ideas I post XD)

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A bunch of shorter ones today, but first!

We posted two top-centric hc lists yesterday, and I somehow completely forgot to mention Jack in either of them 🥳 I am so sorry to Jack Nation and to the goodest of boys himself, so at the end of this post there are hcs about him on both of the yesterday’s topics… (I’ll also add them to the respective posts, obviously)

This weird oopsie aside, here are the replies:

feverish-dove asked:

THANK YOUUUUUUUU♥️ i don’t think you realize how happy that made me. i love speedpaints but when an artist takes the time to break down what they did so i dont have to try (and usually fail) to do so myself it just goes brrrrrrr<3 im soooooo happy rn. you and katsu are awesome

You are so very welcome!! ♥️

I am very happy that the post was useful and any of my explanations were cohesive enough to understand something. And I really love talking about my art process, so thank you for your question!

Anonymous asked:

I just wanna say i'm in love with genderswap twst headcanons and arts... Thank you for sharing a full course meal-

You’re very welcome, Anon! I am super happy that you’re enjoying these. Like I’ve already said, drawing and writing these are a treat and a national holiday for me lol

Anonymous asked:

I’ll break Idia, you say? Well, I did always want to wreck him… 😏

Anonymous asked:

You can't tell me what to do 😠

I'm swallowing your art whole as you speak

Anons are misbehaving… Anons are getting wild 😳 breaking Idia left and right and not chewing stuff properly!

I love the chaos.

Anonymous asked:

I also have an Idia plush and he’s cheeked up.

His clothes sold out though so he’s naked. I put a Nagito jacket on him to hide his shame i.e. his butt.

Damn Anon this is even better though. Imagine Idia with a Nagito jacket barely covering his naked body. This image is doing something with my brain.

Anonymous asked:

HELP do you have any thoughts on azurido??? its been on my mind since i saw Floyd say Azul (probably) wouldnt mind keeping him as a pet for winter (?) break

Indeed, Anon, here is the tag!

Oh we love that line from Floyd lol This whole scene happens so fast and feeds us with so much stuff that it takes time to process.

Azul absolutely wouldn’t mind keeping him as a pet… it’s upsetting that Riddle probably wouldn’t be much of a help at the Lounge (the main reason for Azul to keep pets lol) but knowing how much Riddle’s existence wounds Azul’s precious ego? He would get super smug with Riddle temporarily being his lap cat. Or a little chihuahua.

Anonymous asked:

I’m not sure why but I would love the idea of Epel talking about how girls are weak and then getting his butt handed to him by a girl in Magical Shift. The competitive, tomboy in me would be grinning like a maniac.

Epel absolutely needs to have a girl kick his ass, and it’s weird that he even needs this to happen to realise that “girly” doesn’t mean “weak”; just look at his meemaw and how scary she can get. I’m sure Epel’s mom isn’t any better lol

Anonymous asked:

I had a sudden thoughts last night

So coway au

But it's just Riddle riding Floyd in a cowboy outfit

Thoughts? 👀👀👀

Anonymous asked:

yeehaw 🤠

I wonder… if you two are the same Anon… maybe not. Maybe we just mentally entered a saloon somehow and now I am a sheriff.

To answer the first Anon, this would be insanely hot, and I feel like if Riddle is drunk out of his mind enough, he could do that. He wouldn’t succeed though, because riding a horse is one thing, but riding Floyd while being completely drunk is totally different lol But it’s the attempt that counts. Floyd is going to be very entertained either way. Or annoyed, you never know with him.

Alright, so JackJack hcs.

strap hcs for fem tops or if they even use them lol.

Jack could’ve been very good at it if someone made her use it, but I feel like she thinks that this is too obscene of a thing to do. It’s not like she’s prudish, but wearing a strap is a bit too far for her. Even though someone would probably look at her and think that it looked very good on her…

Based on that one post about the bottoms getting creamed up inside how would the tops react if their partners are demanding/begging for them to cum inside them?

Jack – he is probably the type to start thinking about pulling out when he starts to feel his knot growing, you know, being responsible and stuff, but if he hears his partner begging or demanding him to cum inside, his brain would shut down completely and he would go even deeper than before and fill his partner to the brim :( He would be very embarrassed of himself afterwards.

[mystique-roses5]

Hello! this is my first ever ticci toby writing, so i hope its good! 😅

Warning: Murder, a tiny bit of stalking, and that's it.

Masterlist

Night shift.

(Not sure who the artist is, if you know tell me so I can give credit.)

Beautiful warm dark brown eyes. Has a nicely trimmed beard. 5'10. Pale skin, more on the thin side. Dark brown hair with little highlights. Maybe around 22 - 26. Always seems to have bruises and scars on him.

That's who I see everytime im there. He orders the same thing, black coffee. I've been wondering about him for awhile, he always comes in looking like he just got beat up. There was also times he would come in with another guy who also seems like he's hurt. But I dont say anything.

Usually when he comes in he's very silent. I would greet him like, "Welcome, if you need anything just tell me!". He would respond with this "Mm" like he's acknowledging me, but brushing me off at the same time. When he comes to the counter to order the coffee that's when I finally get to here his voice.

His voice was pretty deep, and husky. Its the kind of deep that would send a girl to her knees and make her heart flutter. Hearing that voice took me back a little, I mean with how he looks it fits him well, but it did startle me a little bit.

I gave him his coffee and as he was about to pay me he stopped and stared at me. I was confused and asked "is anything wrong?". He didn't say anything, he just stared at me. I started to feel a little uneasy. So i stood there, waiting, i was starting to think about how uncomfortable and awkward this is. Then all of a sudden he asks me something. He asks, "What's your name?". I was taken back for a second, but then answered.

That's when i found out his name. "My name is toby." he said. I answered with "Its nice to meet you toby!", he just gave me a nod and got his money out of his pockets and left. As I was packing up to go home, I seen something, in the woods. Staring at me. It was a tall figure with what looked like orange goggles, and a mask. I started to feel scared, so I stayed in the store and was debating whether or not I should call the police. After about a minute I tried to get my phone, but then I realized it wasn't in my purse, so I checked the counter and it wasn't there either.

That's when i realized, its gone. Not gone as in I lost it, but it must have been taken away. I started to race my mind thinking back on who could have had it. But then I remembered that I left to go to the bathroom for a sec while that guy was in here, what was his name? Toby? That had to have been it.

I saw the figure start to walk closer to the store, looking at me, but then I saw what he had on him, two hatchets. That's when I started to book it to the other end of the store. I was going to try and run to the back door. But before I could make it, i looked behind me and there he was, the man was right behind me carrying this hatchet that looked brand new.

I tried to get out the back door but the door knob was busted. So I did the next thing that I thought was apparently a great idea. "Please! Dont hurt me!" I say pleadingly as I get on my hands and knees. He stares at me. But as he was staring, I could clearly see he was smiling underneath the mask, because the mask was slightly going up.

That's when I realized there was no way out. As I tried to crawl away, he grabs me by my ankles and rolls me on my back. He pushed his boot right into my stomach, causing me to scream and cry out for help.

When I looked up I saw him swing his hatchet, and everything went dark.

Masterlist

[yanderu-deredere]

UM so like, ive been feeling really shittt? and i was wondering which of the yanderes would be good at dealing with a depressed or suicidal so?

a/n: yooo im so sorry it took me forever to answer this ask but i hope you're feeling better! and, if you're not, have these lovely yanderes to help! also, i placed it under the cut just because of the warnings so heed the warnings and lets get started!

warnings: mentions of gender dysphoria, mentions of sucidal thoughts and ideations, mentions of depression, mentions of conservative opinion/thoughts, mentions of suicide attempts

gawain dubhán byrne ★ profile

Gawain knew exactly how that felt. In fact, he’d been in the same position as you. There was a time where he was in the wrong body and it made him want to tear himself apart. He dreaded waking up in the morning, all he wanted to do was fall asleep and just never have to deal with anything ever again.

That being said, because of his unique circumstance, he knew kind of what to do. He’d been to therapists and doctors, he knew the breathing techniques and the journaling methods, he knew kind of how to talk you through depressive episodes; he’d take care of you as best as he can.

Actually, Gawain would be the type to take care of you even to the detriment of his own mental health. 

If he hasn’t kidnapped you and trapped you in his expensive penthouse, he definitely would now. He has no choice. He couldn't risk leaving you to your own devices! Nobody knew better than him that you can’t fix mentally ill people immediately. A lot of suicides are impulsive.

So, he'd need to trap you in his house. He’d call his brother over if he needs someone to babysit you but, basically, until he deems you well enough to be left alone, the two of you are attached at the hip. He would totally spoon feed you, he’d bathe you, he’d tuck you in; literally becomes an annoying caregiving leech.

Part of it is because he’s overprotective and wants to take care of you. The other part of it is that he wanted someone to do that for him when he was depressed and suicidal. He wanted someone to sweep him of his feet, to take care of him so he didn’t have to think about anything else; someone that would just hug him and hold him and coddle him.

So, now, that’s who he is to you. And, if you don’t like it, well… Gawain thinks you’re too depressed and suicidal to really decide anything for yourself.

fujio watanabe ★ profile

Not to burst your bubble but oh my god, Fujio is definitely the type of person to be like Depressed? The fuck? Just go get a job or something, being depressed is for people who have too much time on their hands.

It really is unfortunate but Fujio isn’t going to take you seriously until he has to. 

This means he’ll brush you off until you try to kill yourself, you start hurting yourself physically, you start wasting away because you’re not taking care of yourself, etc. When your health starts being threatened in one way or another, Fujio will explode.

He’s always had a volatile temper and it’s ten times as worse when it comes to his precious darling. Nobody can hurt you, not even yourself.

So, then, he starts talking to people. Not professionals, unfortunately, but like people he knows at work or his boss or people he trains with. It’ll be super stupid, like he just comes out and says it, rolling his eyes like Can you believe this? Being suicidal? Depression? What a load of bullshit, amirite?

Except he’s not right and a lot of people in Lovelock, city notorious for its seedy underbelly, knows it. A lot of people Fujio works with used to be kids that wanted to die rather than continue living their terrible lives with abusive families or with no food on the table. Fujio would definitely be put in his place.

Then he finally understands. He finally realises that this is something he could lose you over. For Fujio, he’d be the type to immediately kidnap his darling so he doubles up on security. He baby proofs your room and you’re not allowed to go outside unless he’s there. 

Before, you kind of just had free reign and he let you do whatever as long as you let him know. Now, privileges are revoked. Not because it’s a punishment but because he’s worried you’ll end up hurting yourself.

He’d also be way nicer and gentler to you. It would surprise him since the main reason he ended up falling in love with you was because he felt like he didn’t need to walk on eggshells around you. But, instead of falling out of love, you encourage this weird feeling of overprotectiveness. All he wants to do now is take care of you.

ayaka yamato ★ profile

What do you mean you want to die? 

Ayaka wouldn’t be able to understand. Of course she wouldn’t. She’s lived a privileged life where, though her father’s a piece of shit, she’s had everything pretty much handed to her for free. Most people either always want to say yes to her or aren’t able to say no. What more could a lady want?

So, if she finds out that you’re depressed or suicidal, she’d panic a little. You’d think she’d be really conservative about it since she grew up in a conservative household. Something along the lines of you’re not depressed, you’re just being a snowflake. 

However, that’s actually the opposite case. Ayaka has never met anyone that’s made her feel the same way you make her feel and, if she has to believe you and do something about it, she will. Anything to keep you by her side.

She just doesn’t know what the fuck you’re talking about at first. So, to learn, she’ll consult her tutor, a doctor, anybody she can find; she’ll learn exactly what she’s supposed to do here, what you need, what she needs to force you to do or what she needs to let you do by yourself.

Surprisingly, for someone who’s never had to lift a single finger her entire life, Ayaka can be relentless and resourceful when she wants to be. She low-key dumps money on the problem which, most of the time, can be a bad idea.

However, with Ayaka, she throws money at the problem with all the love in her heart. She gets you the best therapist money can buy, she makes sure to take you to different places if need be or stay with you in your room if going outside is too much. She makes sure to find out exactly why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling and she’ll put a stop to anything threatening your mental health.

(The one thing she won’t stop is bullying you but she definitely controls her tone in a way that makes it clear to you that she’s joking or teasing you. And, if you voice that you didn’t like something she said, unlike a normal darling, she’d definitely apologise and avoid saying it again in the future)

liam anthony arieh ★ profile

Liam is like a mix of Gawain and Fujio. Part of him is like Depression? Aren’t you being a special snowflake? But also part of him is like oh no, I was severely depressed and suicidal once! 

That first part of him comes from the fact that he had nobody to help him when he was depressed. When he wanted to die, the only thing stopping him was the fact that every single time he tried, he ended up in the hospital instead of in the morgue. It took him going through several attempts before he finally got a grip of himself and stopped.

It definitely took him a while to work through his depression and, even now, he sometimes makes suicidal jokes about how funny it would be if he blew his brains out with a gun or if he overdosed, etc. But he doesn’t want to seriously die now and he’s definitely far from depressed.

So, part of him expects you to go through that as well. Part of him thinks that the reason you’re depressed and suicidal is because you’re weak and you just need to get stronger.

However, the other part of him acknowledges that you’re weak. If you’re his darling, most likely the reason why you’ve piqued his interest is because, in his eyes, you are pure and innocent. In his eyes, you needed him to protect you from other people that wanted to do to you the same things he did but for the wrong reasons. 

In any case, his solution is surprisingly not to lock you up (if you aren’t already). He’ll definitely start stalking you hard or assigning employees to start trailing you and making sure you’re okay on days he’s not able to do so himself. He also tries to find a therapist but, specifically, a therapist that doesn’t mind breaking patient privilege. 

He needs control. He needs to be able to manouver you in the exact way he wants and depression? Depression makes you unpredictable. Depression makes it possible for you to be hurt by the one person he can’t completely protect you from: yourself.And he’d be damned if he lets anyone, especially yourself, take away the one good thing in Lovelock.

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

anyways if anyone's wondering how im doing, here's a WIP of a glorified diary entry that's me reflecting on the question "Do you take pride in your work" and talking about the abysmal state of being a part-time custodian at a public school.

“Do you take pride in your work?”

When I was being interviewed, I was asked how my former employer would describe me in. I took a moment and came up with, “passionate, dedicated, someone who loves what they do”. (I had 5 different managers at my last job. My former employer only saw me once and never evaluated my work). It wasn’t entirely a lie, though, I enjoyed my time as a student custodian in a college dorm. It was hell, I dealt with horrific messes made by people my age who didn’t consider that a person deals with their trash, someone almost called the police on me because I was suspicious (i.e. a brown Muslim), I was frequently injured, my grades suffered because of how taxing the work was. But I like routine, I liked that I didn’t have to talk to people and I could just listen to music and shuffle around cleaning. I don’t love cleaning, but I love spending time and doing something repetitive and straightforward. If I had to pick between working in retail and cleaning bathrooms, I’d take cleaning bathrooms any day.

When my new manager was showing me around the building, he told me that everyone here loves what they do and takes pride in a job well done, and he said he could tell I was the same way. I felt guilty when he said that, like I would be betraying him if I told him the truth.

I was having a rather difficult night during my last shift. I was physically in agony, mentally I was struggling with paranoia and auditory hallucinations (not helped by the knowledge the day manager watches the cameras and checks my work). I was cleaning a 2nd-grade classroom (the worst one, the one that has always left behind massive messes) and while I vacuumed and let my mind wander, a question found its way into my brain.

“Do you take pride in your work?”

Tears welled in my eyes, sharp and painful as I thought of the answer to that question.

I wish I did. It’s hard to. There’s not much I can find to take pride in. What could I take pride in? I was here because despite a bachelor's degree I couldn’t find any work and I needed to get money to eat somehow. I’m here because I live in my parents' basement and they’ll only let me stay if I have a job. I’m here because custodial work is the only job people seem to want to hire me for. I’m here, hiding the fact that I’m physically disabled so I can do manual labor and destroy my body for a wage that could never pay for rent, doing a job with 0 benefits.

I bought nice work pants to wear at the job but most days I can’t even manage to put them on because it’s too hard on my body. 

When I worked in a dorm, I sometimes felt pride. It might have been sparingly, but I did feel good sometimes. On the weekends, I was the only one cleaning the dorm. While the building was nearly a ghost town with how asocial every resident was, I would still see the residents. I would smiled at them from behind my niqab when I passed them in the hallways carrying trash. I exchanged pleasantries and a few words with the small handful of residents who weren’t white. Once or twice, I would catch a resident bringing their trash out and I would offer to take it and they would thank me. During the worst of COVID, my duties included bringing food to people in quarantine and taking their trash to the dumpster since they couldn’t take it themselves. I felt like I was doing something good, even if most of the residents wouldn’t acknowledge my presence or make eye contact, even though I was hate-crimed while on duty, even though I saw the worst in people.

My new job is at a public school, after hours. I’ve only seen a teacher once, I never see any of the children who learn in the classrooms I clean. The one teacher I did see looked at me once and then let me gather her trash in silence. I doubt any of the teachers know who cleans their classrooms, I wonder half the time if the children even know someone cleans the school. How many of them were brought up being told that they need to study or they’ll end up cleaning bathrooms? Do the students who write obscenities on the walls of the bathroom know that if I don’t get it off the wall, I’ll get written up? That every time I try to clean it off, it’s motivated by paranoia that if I don’t, I put my job in jeopardy. 

I don’t take pride in my work. My cleaning is not motivated by love or dedication or care, but fear. I’ve been applying for jobs since late 2021, slowly burning through my savings trying to stay afloat. I clean in fear, in knowledge that in a year of applying for jobs this is the only job I’ve even been interviewed for. That if I slip up, if I slack, if I fail to meet requirements, I’ll lose my only income.

I’m an abuse survivor, I come from a bad home and difficult childhood, I have PTSD. I don't take pride in my work, everything I do I fear is inadequate. I assume I’m doing everything wrong, that I’m only being tolerated at most and one slip-up will bring me a world of pain. It doesn’t help that I was barely trained. The only reason I’ve managed so far is relying on the 2 years of experience I have at my previous job.

I push around a cart full of cleaning supplies that I haven’t been taught to use. At the dorm, I had 4 main products, a general disinfectant, a bathroom cleaner, a glass cleaner, and on occasion, hospital-grade disinfectant spray. I knew the kill times for each, where to use each. At my current job, my cart and closet are full of an assortment of products, half of them the sort of thing you’d find in a Walgreens. If things look dirty, I was told to spray it with disinfectant. A far cry from my previous job where I would spray down and clean every high-touch surface (tables, the backs and arms of chairs, door handles, railings, window sills). 

I don’t take pride in my work, I constantly feel like I’m not doing enough. I feel like I should be wiping down tables and desks and chairs. Children are messy, we’re still in a pandemic. But at my job, I’ve been told to mainly vacuum, take out trash, make sure there’s soap, polish the water fountain. I only have 4 hours to clean 10 classrooms, 2 bathrooms and 2 gyms. I feel like I barely have any time to clean each room.

How can I take pride in my work.

[yyunari]

omg HAHAH yess epic winter is banger!! im thinking 🤓🤓 that ngl i dont really like that faybelle didn't really "learn"(?) much out of it? like the whole signing a deal without reading. like we can tell she's implied to BE better cus she's in the bff pics in crystal's room at the end but it feels so rushed? in a sense 🤠🤠🤠 like i get she's gonna be a villain eventually but like man come on do my girl some justice ���😔👎 like when i saw the outfits when i was a wee lil kid i was like THIS IS THE MOST GORGEOUS THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! esp faybelle's and her crystal wings i need to kiss whoever thought of that that was GENIUS 🤯🤯🤩🤩

ok yes but it feel like jackie frost and northwind's takeover of the snow kingdom was ALSO rushed like the ppl were fs like "OH HECK WE HAVE NO MORE TIME EVERYONE GOGOGO LET GOOD WIN ASAP" like they were annoying but like not omg i NEED to punch them annoying ykwim AKKDLWG maybe it's just me LOL but yes way too wonderland is super banger too!!

esp that scene where raven returned the pages to each chara HELLOOOO that was so tear jerking i may or may not have shed a tear esp after apple's character development!! in the whole do you wonder song where they all got pretty wonderlanderful outfits idk maybe it's bc im just pessimistic but if i was darling and i didnt have a whole transformation with them and ended up in a tree and woke up only when they left idk how 15yo me would have took it LMAOO 😭😭😭 defo not well tbh i would have CRIED but darling is so cool i love her aaaaa (can she save me too i mean WHAT)

oh lord i lost the plot BUT yeah i fr thought eah was super super popular too but i guess not?? maybe bc we were young so we didn't know. also i can get why people find apple annoying but most of them don't talk about/see her development like ok it's not the best and she can grow more but her change and how much she grew is amazing esp for a 15-17y.o. like i just KNOW the same people who hate her are the same people who complain about characters who have no flaws like ???? how do u hate development but also hate no development can u pick a struggle 😭😭🤠🤠

but yes i did wanted to ask on ur opinion on the characters (like apple) too. maybe i should make a 20(?) questions thing for eah bc my brain is WORKING 😃👍 i agree that eah had so much potential esp for all the characters' development!! and also!! omg which dolls do u have :O

also girl (is this gendered term ok with u btw, bc i can stick with slayer if not!) did u leave ur computer on bc i slept at 5:30am (for me) and it's almost 3pm now and u are still online HELP 😭⁉️ and yes i DID sleep ok (lol <3 hrs gang wya) THIS GOT SO LONG LMFAO I THINK ITS GONNA BE SPLIT NAURRR (update it's not somehow :O) istg i NEED eah to come back apparently the last activity/media/wtv of it was back in 2018 can mattel use all the barbie profits to fund a reboot PLSSS 😔😔

but i would like to say thank u for returning the energy and answering everything om 😭😭🩵🩵 ive always struggled w that growing up woop so it feels weird but amazing owo (i didnt answer about niki Lol looking forward to the fic and the references!!also common niki L (affectionate) hehe 🥰🥰

yesss i completely get what ur saying i feel like towards the end of the series they definitely rushed some things but it still slapped🙏🙏🙏 THE OUTFITS WERE ALWAYS AMAZINGGG like for literally everything they somehow managed to make every character wear a drop dead gorgeous outfit like even to this day i want to steal all of their wardrobes🤓 faybelle was too queen for everyone to handle but no one’s ready for that 🫡

omfg and rosabella and daring😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 that shit was crazy to me when i was younger LMFAOOO esp since i was so apple and daring

SPEAKINF OF APPLE im so glad u brought her up because I COMPLETELY AGREE😭😭😭 i literally love apple so much and it pisses me off that people only pay attention to the side of her that’s pushy and stuff and don’t ever talk about her development like?? the thing about apple that most people don’t realize is that she never tried to hurt her friends and that she always only cared about raven, like she pushed raven to follow her destiny because she was worried that raven was going to poof and she didn’t want to see her friend disappear ☝️ and during true hearts day when ashlynn and hunter revealed they were dating apple was confused about it at first but she was willing to push aside all her previous biases against royals and rebels dating to try to understand ashlynn because she CARES about her 😔😔😔 it’s so sad to me that people only pay attention to the annoying side of apple and not the side of her that cares about her friends and is genuinely looking out for them ughhhh i love her sm her character development is so good

that 20 questions thing sounds so fun LOL u should definitely do it🙏 in terms of characters, my top three is ashlynn, cupid, and apple i love them sm☝️☝️☝️ my main character opinion is that apple isn’t the villain that most people make her out to be but this is random but i wish the creators made hunter huntsman hotter LMAOOOO cus i’ve never really found him attarcttive, i like his character and he’s good for ashlynn butttt at the same time ashlynn is really pretty and he’s kind of mid in terms of looks… but he’s nice😋

the dolls i had were all they in their regular outfits, i think it was apple, raven, maddie, and possibly blondie? i cant really remember if i had any more or not but those were the dolls i can think of, i also had other eah branded things because i was literally sooo obsessed like i had a diary that was rebel on one side and royal on the other, and it played the theme song but i lost it😭😭😭😭

yess girl ok with me since i do identify myself as female🙏🙏 i think tumblr just always says i’m active since it’s on my phone LOL idk discord does the same thing for some reason😵‍💫 and i’m glad u slept well!! istg eah needs to come back or i’ll cry😢 if they come back they should do a live action and i will literally audition to be ashlynn🙏🙏 idc that she’s supposed to be white i’ll be the first asian ashlynn 😜😜

and omg im glad i always try to answer everything when i’m having a conversation with people because i know what it feels like for things to be ignored and i hated that feeling so🙏 but yes look forward to the fic bc i literally finished it today WOO WOO it’s all coming together😍😍😍☝️

[hpdfag]

hello mutual!! how are you? I hope you are well :D here are some asks from the ask game for you:

moment of death, rigor mortis, putrefaction, and skeletonization!

hihihihi im doing well thank u !!!!! ^_^ answers r under the read-more since this got a bit long v_v

moment of death: to what lengths would you go for your beloved? is there anything you wouldn’t do? any dealbreakers?

almost any length at all. if he wanted me to get worse, id gladly succumb to despair. if he wanted to see me alive and happy, i'd keep fighting to survive. almost anything i can think of as a dealbreaker i would handle just for him. though i guess i'd hate having to share him with someone else... i have a terrible time with jealousy.

rigor mortis: describe your darling.

he's everything, he's a concept, he's an ideal, he's a feeling, he's a wonderful wonderful man that i love very much. i like to say i'm in love with the sun. he's so bright, he lights up a room with his smile alone. when he's there, it feels like everything is going to be okay. he's passionate, and driven, and the most wonderful man i've ever had the privelege of knowing, let alone loving. he's intelligent, and witty, and gorgeous. he's love itself.

putrefaction: do you believe in soulmates? what about reincarnation? if so, do you believe your beloved has always been your beloved?

this one's complicated. i think that, in his original form, he does not exist in this iteration of reality. he couldn't, he's still alive and well and waiting for my recovery. but through being inside the program as a part of the killing game, he's left his mark on the world. there's a piece of him in every living thing. man was recreated in his image, a little kinder, a little warmer.

i used to believe in reincarnation, but i'm not sure anymore. all i do know is that, in a way, every form that hinata has taken has been one that i've loved very dearly despite it all. even if i don't want to admit it to myself. i've always loved him, and who he became, and then who he became again. nothing could change that.

skeletonization: how would you describe your obsession? what does it feel like?

it feels like a hazy fog settled over my senses. it feels like my whole body is bathed in warmth whenever i think about him. when im jealous it feels like something sharp is lodged in my chest, something thats always been there as a dull ache but stings whenever i think of him with someone else.

even my more violent impulses feel warm. sunny. like theyre glowing. when i want to see inside of him or taste his blood it is not out of a desire to cause pain but out of reverence, curiousity, a deep hope that in knowing him as completely as he knows me i'll be able to please him.

all in all i am less an aggressor than i am a servant at heart. i was put on this earth to make him as happy as i possibly can, to please him even if i recieve nothing in return. just the simple act of service to him, a higher power, brings me joy. as much as reciprocation would make me the happiest man on earth, i'd do it all the same even if i wasn't appreciated for a second of it. its all for him.

[anakin-pilled]

ANDRA ANDRA ANDRAAAA my sweet andra <3 i am so sorry it took me this long to read and annotate this, i normally read everything you post within the day but life has been little crazy lately ): but anyway im so excited to that you're writing again because you are so talented and no one can compare to the way you make me feel with your writing!!!!! so happy to see false god continuing because well.....who doesn't love a dilf! jake with heavy angst WITH AN AGE GAP?!?!??!?

Why would you say that? What possessed him to confide in you about parts of his life he forsook, he gave up what felt like eternities ago?

poor jakey is embarrassed from talking to a younger hot girl HAHAAHAH

You and Neteyam were much alike, and somehow still managed to complement each other well, at the same time. He used to think you’d be good for him, back then.

👀👀 now why do i feel like something might happen with neteyam..

“I’m sure whatever it is, it’s not as bad as you think. We always tend to overthink in our heads, and, as humans, we always tend to see the worst in ourselves. You, more than most.”

i always love how you bring the human condition into all your stories because while the na'vi might disagree with and not understand this, the human condition (in all its positivity and negativity) is so beautiful and an extraordinary thing to witness AND go through.

but also i once again find myself relating to your female protagonists...its like you see into my soul ?!???!?!

“I think someone overstepping once in a while is exactly what a man who’s always obeyed needs. Go to sleep, love.” 

NOW NORM WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THIS AND WHY ARE YOU SAYING IT

Just because you talked about something he cared about, that nobody asked him about, just because he confessed to you feelings he hasn’t said out loud in more than 24 years… that didn’t mean anything.

UH OH the seeds of something have planted into jake's heart...

Any extra time spent with you is time where he could talk and say something, confess something else that is better left unsaid, fall prey to your uncanny ability to see through him, to will out words he hasn’t even realised he’s been dying to say out loud. 

NBDJKNBJENRBKJSNIODRNSOABNRK ..... ummm jake is in a pickle

Can you do that for me?”

you mean can you do that for me babygirl

Norm once told you life, especially in your 20s, was about the joys and miseries of growing pains, but if you knew, how the journey was full of polarising extremes that pulled at every fibre of your being, how the high was insurmountable, but the pain was unbearable, maybe you would have thought twice before jumping in. 

oh god this is so fucking spot on but also i love this description of the 20s its so intense and scary but that's exactly how it is

You wonder if he realised that this was the beginning of the end, if the pull you felt was the same one that drove him to what came after

now now now.....what does Eywa have to say about this

It was clear to him more and more you loved being the one asking the questions and never the one answering them, and, soon enough, here you were again, curious as a cat about things nobody else was when it came to him.

AHHHHHHHHHHH omg omg omg like its so cute but i have to remind myself hes a married man but also i do feel bad for jake because while neytiri does love him, i would be sad if i never got the chance to talk about my life before even though jake doesn't seem to look at his past fondly, i think everyone is attracted to the idea of someone genuinely wanted to know about you on a deeper level because we all want to be seen, even when we don't admit it or reject it

He looked at you, pleading, not knowing whether he needed you to stop or keep going, only knowing it hurt, being torn at the seams like that between two choices that both led to heartbreak and epiphanies he wasn’t ready to face nor strong enough to deal with on his own, especially right now.

WE LOVE EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE JAKE!!!!!!! can i just say i love how introspective you write every character you right always has the perfect characterization and you always describe their inner thoughts in the most perfect way as well

It was then you knew you were heading for a potentially life-altering, life-ending fall that would break all your bones and leave you tethered on the ground, shattered and broken, unable to ever be put back together the same. And so you tried. You broke the moment that felt eternal, even though it pained you, to know at some point he wouldn’t be looking at you the way he had been then, and asked him to go home.

THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPH RIGHT HERE????!!?!? FUCKING PERFECT!! THERES NO GOING BACK NOW OMG ITS OUT IN THE OPEN AND THEY BOTH CAN FEEL IT

i think as much as i love being like dilfs 🥰 i would be absolutely terrified to be in this situation with an older man because they just hold so much more experience and wisdom (well maybe not too much wisdom) and well im a baby and god it must be SO intimidating to be in that position and how the hell do you even navigate this fine line without falling off the fucking edge ?!?!??!?

Better than sulk all night in a corner the way I know you’re itching to do.”

OK OUCH NETEYAM DONT BE FUCKING RUDE

It took a lot to make Neteyam flustered, and so you couldn’t understand why your words affected him so much.

THERE IT IS!!!!! neteyam has to be some feelings reader. also im fucking crying because she just projected so hard in the next sentences, she must be a little oblivious or too in her head from the previous conversation but i have an inkling that she is more desirable than she thinks to multiple people

In your head, that was exactly what you needed then: some sex with some random Na'vi who wanted to show you a good time, help you forget about the one you really wanted.

THATS EXACTLY WHAT I NEED TOO!!!!

You weren’t his. You were free to do as you wished, and the thoughts that plagued him as the mother of his children was sitting in his lap, perfectly unaware, were enough to pool other feelings, like guilt and shame, and form a heady concoction of emotions that he knew sooner or later would explode all around him.

i am so interested in this dynamic and i absolutely love love love it!! because it really is so complex and there's so many layers to understand and its not black and white AT ALL but that's what makes it all the fun and i cannot wait to see where this goes

You couldn't believe he was in your room, as if by thinking about him hard enough you manifested him here.

.....that's a little strange jake and i don't like it.

“Because it’s not you, ok?! Because it can’t be you! And I don’t know if you’ve realised this, but it’s not like I have a line of men willing to mate or even be seen with a human, an alien, a sky demon. So it has to be him! That’s why.” 

NFIESBNGIBDOSG OH LORD SOMETHING IS ABOUTT O HAPPEN AGAIN AND IM NOT READY

His lips, soft and needy, not at all like you imagined them to be, ceased your pleading words before you got a chance to speak them. It took a second, just one second, for you to understand what was happening, to process the way the kiss was everything you've ever wanted and more than you've ever dreamed about, the way he was desperate and hungry for your touch, for you to reciprocate his feelings... so you did.

me rn: 💀💥

With a nod, you dropped your head backwards and knew, in your heart, whatever was next would be the beginning of the end, of you, of him, of everything you’ve both worked so hard for and yet, all you felt was unadulterated, heavenly, euphoric bliss. 

i have no words right now EXCEPT WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK girl i didn't think that they would get it so quick but um...here we are. AND HOW WILL THEY DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES AND HOW WILL JAKE HIDE THIS FROM NEYTIRI OH GOD

this was an amazing chapter pookie, even though you haven't written in a while, you couldn't even tell because this chapter was so good ❤️ IM LITERALLY SCREAMING STILL AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ANDRA WHY WOULD YOU BE THIS CHAOTIC

ꜰᴀʟꜱᴇ ɢᴏᴅ | ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪɪ: ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ 'ᴛɪʟ ɪ'ᴍ ʙᴜʀɴɪɴ' ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴀᴄᴋʙᴜʀɴᴇʀ

pairing: dilf!Jake Sully x (f)human/avatar!reader

synopsis: Jake struggles to adapt with the way being next to you is making him feel.

this story will contain an unhealthy, co-dependent relationship, and dark themes (smut, mental health, death, violence, infidelity), so pls read at your own discretion.

warnings: 18+ minors DNI, angst, age-gap (23 vs 43), (a little) smut at the end

wc: 6.1k words

a/n: umm, hi there?? do you remember me? i know it's been such a long time and I am so so sorry, but I am backkk besties!!! i am so happy to finally be able to complete chapter two and I hope you enjoy because it's quickly picking up pace. i really hope this isn't garbage, i'm so so out of practice and so insecure about my writing, but i still hope you are able to understand and enjoy this, because i am so excited to finally be back writing.

ps: this story will move perspectives and timelines a lott, so i hope it's not too confusing but pls do let me know if it is and i'll figure something out xx

replies and reblogs are massively appreciated, i loveee to hear from you so much!

na'vi compendium: tanhi - bioluminescent freckles, paskalin - sweet berry (term of endearment)

series masterlist (x)

Maybe I'm just not better than this, I haven't tried Maybe life's less romantic when I don't wanna die You'd think I'd be a fast learner But guess I won't ever mind crisping up on your backburner

Jake has always felt comfortable in nature. Even back on Earth, the comfort of a bed was a luxury mostly lost on him throughout his life. It was peaceful, and comforting, feeling the ground beneath his feet, beneath his skin, malleable and nurturing, like a warm embrace. It was a given here, with the connection the Na’vi had with the world around them, with the forest surrounding them, that he would become one with it, too, that he would find solace in it. He did, most days. Just not tonight, as he lay on the slightly damp surface with an arm underneath his head for support, trying to find meaning in the stars that were still so beautiful and bright they took his breath away, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat and his wandering thoughts. 

What was that? This whole day, that conversation that was still ringing in his ears like an insipid echo, making sweat bead on his forehead and trickle down his temples, until they were one with the soil. Why would you say that? What possessed him to confide in you about parts of his life he forsook, he gave up what felt like eternities ago?

He’s never truly noticed you before. The shy, timid girl who was far too attuned to others’ feelings to be able to overlook the disdain still present in some members’ of the clan when it came to anything human, always holed up in that lab he hated, that was at odds with everything he’s come to known and too much like everything he was trying his best to leave behind. It used to be different back then, when you were young, just a child craving connection and companionship, always tied to the hip to his eldest son, Neteyam, where Spider always took more to his two middle children. Par for the course, he thought. You and Neteyam were much alike, and somehow still managed to complement each other well, at the same time. He used to think you’d be good for him, back then. Not that he’d ever tell Neytiri that, the seemingly blasphemous idea, but yes - he thought that, even before you got an Avatar. But now, the thought made him uneasy - queasy, even. It wouldn’t be right. Your relationship would be frowned upon, and the Omaticaya would never look at you and see the future Tsa’hik that’s meant to lead them, to interpret their deity’s way. You were too fragile, too tuned in to your own and others’ emotions to be able to overcome it, and it would break you. Being with Neteyam would break you. 

The night was torturous and slow, so many thoughts eating away at him like a disease. By the time Eclipse passed, he was ready for this trip to be over. Being here with you alone wasn’t good, he realises now. It was a mistake, to talk to you, to look into your eyes, to notice you. Because now that he did, he couldn’t stop. The way your Avatar body twitched in sleep, the way he couldn’t help wonder what you were doing in your human body - were you sleeping, like you should be? Was this on your mind, this night, the same way it was his? Were you cramming everything you once used to do in a day in the few hours you had in your now secondary body?

“Oh, kid. You better know how to fix this better than I do.” 

“Is the Avatar safe?”

Norm trusted Jake with his life, and still, he knew he had to ask. The scientist in him, the Avatar program leader de facto, he’s always taken every responsibility, every chance to prove himself to the Na’vi and to his late mentor, Grace Augustine, very seriously. And that included taking care of you. You were not his blood, but you were his family, and he wanted to protect you, he wanted you to be alright. And so when Jake suggested getting some much needed tutelage, he was happy to wait until the night to hear all about it. 

“You know it is.”

“How did it go?”

“Well, I think. He was right, I guess. I definitely feel a bit more comfortable outside of the village, of all the prying eyes.” 

“Amazing. Do you have plans for tomorrow?”

“I’m… not sure. I think… I overstepped.” The blush in your cheeks and eyes glued to your fiddling feet made Norm’s brown eyebrow rise, a small grimace mirroring the one marring your beautiful, soft features. Still, he placed a hand on your head, gently brushing the stray hairs that were raised from the hours of being in the cryocapsule.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“He… told me about his life on earth. About his father, and I… made a comment. I have no idea how he reacted to it, but now that I’m here, I have no chance to fix it.”

“I’m sure whatever it is, it’s not as bad as you think. We always tend to overthink in our heads, and, as humans, we always tend to see the worst in ourselves. You, more than most.”

After helping you out, making sure you were settled on your wobbly, weak knees, he gave your shoulder a small squeeze and left to his quarters, but not before telling you one last thing.

“I think someone overstepping once in a while is exactly what a man who’s always obeyed needs. Go to sleep, love.” 

The next morning, you felt dizzy as you woke up in the forest, slight groan audible with every stretch that allowed your sore muscles to loosen. You weren’t surprised to see Jake already up, busying himself with gutting a fish which would most likely constitute your breakfast. You gulped at the sight of him, veiny arms expertly handling the animal, his relaxed postured at odds with the slight frown on his face. Was that because of you? Was he mad at you? What possessed you to talk to him like he was a friend and not the Toruk Makto, the mighty Olo’eyktan? What possessed you to confess about an old crush, that died with your innocence about the world, about the same time you finally started to notice how the Omatikaya, particularly Neytiri, have looked at you all your life. 

“Um, good morning.” 

His eyes flickered over to you, lingering for a second longer than they needed to on your golden eyes before turning back swiftly, and the expression he adorned, a mixed between shame, guilt and desire, would have been obvious to anyone with more life experience, but not to you. Still, you noticed the blush in his cheeks, and couldn’t help the anxiety bubbling in your chest at what… or whom, might be the cause of it. 

“‘Morning, kid. D’you sleep well?” 

“I guess. You?” 

“One of us have to stay up and keep an eye out for predators, you know. Can’t have you get eaten before I’m done teaching you how to defend yourself.” His smile was teasing, and if it was an effort to put your mind at ease, you did appreciate it. It made what you had to say next come out easier.

“Listen, Jake… what I said last night… it was none of m-“

“It’s alright, kid. It’s been a while since anyone’s contradicted me, apart from my wife, so…” his laugh was rugged and unforced, and you couldn’t help join in at the sonorous melody that rang in your ears and all of a sudden couldn’t imagine being without. 

“So you don’t hate me?” 

Jake’s eyes settled on your own, but not before flickering to your parted lips, so focused and eager, you were clinging on to his every word, waiting desperately to be put out of your misery. 

“No, kid. I don’t hate you.” 

Jake didn’t know what was wrong with him, but he did know one thing: it was just a stupid conundrum, nothing more. He didn’t feel anything for you, he was just taken aback by someone who seemed to be a lot more intuitive and incisive about someone’s inner workings than he gave you credit for. But that’s it. Just because you talked about something he cared about, that nobody asked him about, just because he confessed to you feelings he hasn’t said out loud in more than 24 years… that didn’t mean anything. He had a mate. A mate he loved, a mate he was sworn to forever. He had a family, children, a life. It was nothing. So he did his duty and helped you, keeping a safe distance and the conversation to a minimum, outside of instructions he ought to give you. Still, despite his apprehensions, being with you was easy. You were docile and listened well, you were quiet and kept to yourself, and, in the moments you did talk, there was a pureness, a light to your heart that made his own feel lighter. 

“Good form. Now focus on the target and, when you’re ready…”

He watched as the arrow flew at high speed and travelled the length of the forest until it hit the ground next to a tree marked with an X - a makeshift target, but it did the job. 

“Release.” 

“Sorry.” Your ashamed disposition was as clear as day on your face and in your body language, and the purple twinge in your cheeks brought forth the luminosity of your tanhi and he hated himself for noticing it to begin with. 

“Don’t be. You did well. Just make sure you draw all the way back before releasing. The target’s a bit narrower than you’re used to, so you’re doing well.” 

His eyes softened taking you in. A sigh reverberated from deep within his chest and he said the words before he could stop himself, fully knowing he might regret them later. 

“Let’s focus on your tracking instead for a little while. A change of scenery might do you well.”

He knew he should leave the tracking skills for back to the village, for someone else to teach you. He should just hurry back home - to his life, to his wife, to the normalcy he’s both craving and desperately afraid of. Any extra time spent with you is time where he could talk and say something, confess something else that is better left unsaid, fall prey to your uncanny ability to see through him, to will out words he hasn’t even realised he’s been dying to say out loud. 

The ground was wet and cold, accentuated by the heavy moisture surrounding you. it still took getting used to, the air, breathing it in and out, like you were born to do so, such a colossal departure from the mask that covered your face for most of 23 years of your life. Still, it was a blessing, and one you made sure to appreciate with every breath you took. You forgot a little about it, all the gratitude, as the air felt particularly dense and thick as you took it in, as the man you now called mentor crawled skilfully like a steady, stealthy apex predator, little to no evidence of his presence other than the hand that was rested carefully on the small of your back, sending bouts of electricity all throughout your body. His voice was quiet as he spoke it near your ear, a velvet shroud that enveloped you and stirred something in you, something primal and carnal, something you’ve never felt before. What was happening to you? What was he doing to you?

“Lower, kid. The lower you are to the ground, the fainter your scent, the easier to hide.” 

“I-it’s… hard.” 

You could hear his smirk as he answered your quiet protestation, and you wondered whether he found it endearing or irksome, praying and hoping with as much power as you still had left in you that it was the former. 

“I know, girl. Guess we’ll have to train those abs for more core strength, huh?” 

You were happy your back was to him so he couldn’t see the violent blush haunting your cheeks, but even so, there was little you could do about your rampant heart or your heaving breath.

“I can hear your heartbeat like it’s echoing through the whole forest. And if I can, every other animal on a half a click radius can, too. You have to learn to calm your mind. Can you do that for me?”

Although what he was asking of you seemed impossible, considering his touch set your body and soul ablaze and your mind’s already erratic rumination seemed to reach an incandescent high, you tried, and although every muscle in your body hurt and ached, much like the first few times you allowed yourself to train in this body, you did as you were told, and, by early afternoon, you managed to track a pack of Yarik without even as much of a perk of the ear to give you away. You remember still, those early days, like they were happening to you now, as you stood here, in your bedroom, as the tears blurred the familiar space, the rock you were holding so tightly in your hand that it was cutting through your palm until all that inundated your sight was a watercolour red stain. You should have known then. What would follow. When he touched you, how it made you feel, you should have known to stay away. Norm once told you life, especially in your 20s, was about the joys and miseries of growing pains, but if you knew, how the journey was full of polarising extremes that pulled at every fibre of your being, how the high was insurmountable, but the pain was unbearable, maybe you would have thought twice before jumping in. 

You wonder if he knew, then. If he felt it, too. You wonder if he realised that this was the beginning of the end, if the pull you felt was the same one that drove him to what came after, to all he ended up putting on the line. You wondered if it was all a ploy, getting you alone, or if he truly just wanted to help, innocent and undiscerning, just a dutiful Olo’eyktan. You thought you knew his heart, and how much it hid and how much it hurt, you thought you came to know it all through all this time, but as the bleeding in your heart mirrored your gashing palm, you weren’t sure anymore. 

“Come.”

The Yarik were all gone now, unfrightened by your unassuming presence, which you took as a win. Still, you almost flinched when his now much louder voice rang above the quiet murmur of the forest. 

“Where?”

“You worked hard today, so you deserve a break. And I know just the spot.” 

Jake wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, what he was about to do, but he knew you needed something to break apart the times of pain and struggle. It was something he’s learnt, being here, on Pandora, as one of the people, that there was more to life than duty, than sacrifice and pain, then the daily struggle of fitting in, of pitching in, of simply existing. You had to live life, face it, enjoy it. And he wanted you to have that, especially now. He understood, more than most, what it was like to be inhibited and trapped to a space or a time, paralysed, literally or figuratively to your immutable circumstance. For him, it was his legs, trapping him in a body he hated and couldn’t recognise, in habits he took on just like the soldier he’s always been, because there was nothing else he could do. For you, it was your human body, that confined you to the lab, to a mask, to a life that could never be experienced fully, until now. So, despite a small part, probably the logical part of his mind, telling him he should just keep the training going or go home, he decided to share with you a place he found while hunting for food last night. And when he saw your face as you took it in, all doe-eyed and bushy tailed, ears twitching enthusiastically and a beautiful, innocent smile taking over your whole face, he knew he made the right call. He found his own smile brewing without being able to contain it, your joy so contagious, it was like the whole world shone just a little brighter than it had a few minutes ago.

“Jake… I love it. Thank you.”

The roar of the waterfall crashing on the otherwise peaceful lake almost drowned your words, and he laughed at the way you were tentatively approaching the water, as if scared that the caress of it on your skin might hurt your already aching muscles. 

“Good. Let’s see how you like it up close.” 

And with that, and a gentle tap on your shoulder, a loud splash ensued where you hit the water. He laughed yet again at the way you emerged from it, wet and startled and almost as if you could not believe what just happened. 

“I-I… you… I cannot believe you did that!” 

He couldn’t help how much fun it was, doing this, being with you - it was as if for the first time in ages, in decades, being alive was fun again. It was as if this forest was completely separated from his own, from what was waiting for him back home, the unsurmountable pressure that plagued him every second of every day, especially since the humans returned. 

“Believe it, kid. You need to learn to let loose once in a while, you know?”

You rolled your eyes, but seemed intrigued by his preposition. 

“I will if you will.” 

And so he did. And for the next few hours, life was easygoing and fun, and spending time in your presence felt like coming out for a deep breath when it felt like he’d been drowning. He’s learnt you didn’t really know how to swim, and that the first song you’ve ever learnt on piano was one you deeply related to, that he’s made you promise you’d sing to him, and he found out plenty of small things, but nothing important, or of substance. It was clear to him more and more you loved being the one asking the questions and never the one answering them, and, soon enough, here you were again, curious as a cat about things nobody else was when it came to him.

“Did you ever expect it?” the sun was still shining brightly upon you both, warming your strong, supple bodies as you floated in the otherwise cold water. Eclipse wasn’t too far behind, but right now, neither of you particularly seemed to care. 

“What’s that?” You continued floating, looking intently at the sky - focused or too embarrassed to look at him, Jake couldn’t really tell. 

“Everything. What you did, what happened. Did you ever expect it, when you were offered a place on a shuttle to Pandora?” Once again, Jake was taken aback by your propensity of asking deep, profound, intimate questions like you were asking about the weather. He wondered briefly if you realised that that’s not how most people talked.

“No… I didn’t. I didn’t care, about the job or the mission. I cared about the money. And later, about the chance to get my legs back.” 

“Do you ever miss it? Being… normal.” 

“I was given a second chance - a purpose bigger than me, bigger than the measly life I left behind. I -“ this finally got your attention, and for the first time since your first question, you adjusted your position in the water so that you were fully facing him, inquiring eyes like beads of light and focus, intent on taking in every expression, every shift in mood, every slight adjustment of his face. You tried again, this time more forceful and intense, this time almost demanding of his full attention.

“That wasn’t my question. It’s a privilege, and an honour, to be who you are…”

He struggled as he always did to stifle a roll of his eyes and the speech he’s heard a million times before, from his wife, or his Tsa’hik, from every villager of the Omatikaya, from every other tribe leader he’s ever met through diplomatic missions. The answer he always kept at the ready was caught in his throat, because you kept going.

“…but I’m sure it’s also tiring, and hard. And lonely. So do you ever miss it? Do you ever wish things could go back to the way they were? Do you ever wish you didn’t have to be there for everybody all the time?”

He looked at you, pleading, not knowing whether he needed you to stop or keep going, only knowing it hurt, being torn at the seams like that between two choices that both led to heartbreak and epiphanies he wasn’t ready to face nor strong enough to deal with on his own, especially right now.

“Kid…” 

“I went too far again, didn’t I? What is wrong with me?” 

The attempt to get out of the lake was swiftly overthrown by his much stronger physique keeping you in place, caging you in between the edge of the lake and his muscular arms. Jake wasn’t an emotional man, he wasn’t one to be overcome with feelings that could cloud his judgement, that could interfere with a plan of action and yet, standing there, in that moment, your wide golden eyes looking fearfully and surprisedly up at him, the rapid pulse of your heart clearly visible in your carotid artery running up your neck, he felt his mind clouded and his own heart trembling with the overwhelming, unexpected urge to taste you, to feel those lips crashing over his, your tongues intertwined, his fingers wander in wondrous places he was sure no one else had before. He needed you, like he’s scarcely ever needed anything else, like he rarely ever allowed himself to. But you weren’t his, you never would be. And this was wrong and immoral, and it didn’t matter - that you seemed to be able to see right through him, that everything you said cut like a knife through all the bullshit and pretence, that your pupils were so wide they were swallowing the golden of your irises, that he could feel that you wanted it too. None of it mattered. 

“You didn’t go too far. You just… see things. And ask things, no one else ever does. And it scares me, kid. You scare the shit out of me.” 

“Me? I’m nothing. I’m… just a girl.”

“You’re everything.”

It was then you knew, that the crush was not a crush, it was so much more, too much more. It was then you knew you were heading for a potentially life-altering, life-ending fall that would break all your bones and leave you tethered on the ground, shattered and broken, unable to ever be put back together the same. And so you tried. You broke the moment that felt eternal, even though it pained you, to know at some point he wouldn’t be looking at you the way he had been then, and asked him to go home. You were quiet and compliant all the way back, and he made it easier on you by a performance of the same caliber. You didn’t know if it made you feel better or worse, that the moment clearly affected him too, enough that both of you looked like dogs with their tails between their tails as you arrived back in the village, without having spoken another word to the other, without as much as risking a glance in the other’s direction.

It was for the best. There was nothing, absolutely nothing that could come of entertaining this little troubled happenstance, and truth be told, you couldn’t wait for your life to get back to normal, where he barely spoke to you and you were free to withdraw within yourself the way you knew you had to in order to heal. You were able to get over your mindless crush once before, and you were certain to be able to do it again, especially given you would had the perfect opportunity in the annual clan celebration that you had come just in time for. 

“How was it?” Neteyam was quietly hopeful about your trip with his dad, eager to be able to call you one of the People as soon as he possible could. Any effort to aid that, to allow you closer to a life he knew you deserve and knew you could make your own, was beneficial and encouraged in his mind. You loved Neteyam, and appreciate him for who he was and what he meant to you - a brother, a best friend, a confidant. You told him most things and yet, some things were just too ugly to share, and so you didn’t. Some things were better off swept under the rug, praying the lump they made was not big enough to trip on. 

“Great. I think he was right, being away from all the prying eyes helped. Guess I’ll just have to show you tomorrow. Who knows? I might even be better than the mighty warrior soon, eh?” 

He threw his head back and laughed, and you joined in his joy, already feeling better just being away from him, leisurely walking trough the village and helping out with anyone who needed a hands for tonight’s celebration. 

“Dream on, paskalin. Although, you could show me what you learnt tonight, and maybe even win a prize in the knife throwing contest. Better than sulk all night in a corner the way I know you’re itching to do.” 

“Actually, I wasn’t planning on doing that. Not tonight.” 

“Oh?” You wish you hadn’t said that, because you should have realised Neteyam would be curious and it was a subject you didn’t feel ready to talk to anyone about, especially a man, a beautiful, glorious, obviously-experienced one, such as your best friend. 

“I just mean, it’s time, you know? To try to live my life. Maybe even find someone with whom to share it with.” 

“Y-you mean… like a mate?” 

Neteyam looked taken aback by your confession, so much so that he stopped in the middle of the path, making two children bump into his legs and fall down behind him. It took a lot to make Neteyam flustered, and so you couldn’t understand why your words affected him so much. Was it so unsettling to people, the thought of an Avatar finding love on the planet that wasn’t quite home, but was the only chance at home you would ever get? Were you so repulsive as a person that the one who knew you the best thought it hard to digest that you could ever be loved by a man? 

“Forget about it, Neteyam. I’ll be at the celebration, alright? I should go get ready.” 

You left before you could hear his excuses or explanations - you knew you were sensitive, probably too sensitive. You knew you were probably overreacting, and his words didn’t have any malintent, and you knew he was most likely just taking a second to adjust to a new stage of your life you’ve never shared with him before. You knew all of these and more, and yet, your heart was tired and bruised, your mind a tumultuous whirlwind of doubt and misery. You needed time, time to heal, time to think. Time you didn't have, when the celebration was upon you.

You almost wanted to laugh now, months after that night happened, at how stupid you had been that night, how desperate and pathetic. You knew about some Na'vi, certain warriors who loved the idea of humans, of experimenting with them, of using them. You've heard the stories, you've seen the scientists coming back to the lab with them, you've been around when they talked about how good it was, how necessary the release, how passionate and life-changing the experience. In your head, that was exactly what you needed then: some sex with some random Na'vi who wanted to show you a good time, help you forget about the one you really wanted. It wasn't hard enough to find one that night, especially after you won your prize in the knife throwing competition, when the warmth of liquid courage was still embedded deep within your throat and soul, much to Neteyam's dismay. Still, the performance attracted attention, of one man in particular you cared about. Strong, 10 feet tall and muscular, he was looking at you like a meal and right then, you wanted nothing more to be devoured. You wondered what your life would have been like if that night went differently than it did. You wondered...

He barely noticed it, his wife’s touches or his clan members’ words of admiration or respect, not when the only thing his mind could focus on was the way his hand was caressing your shoulder and down your arm in gentle and intimate touches that felt too familiar for two people who have seemingly barely ever interacted before. His skin crawled at the sweet, shy smile you were sending his way and at the slight tint of purple he could see in your cheeks. You were too pure for this, Jake knew. Too pure for the intentions clear on his face that he didn’t think you fully understood, how this was all a game, a conquest, how you were a prize to be won, a trophy to be paraded around to the Na’vi who loved to brag about fucking the Avatars, the humans, the aliens. It was a game to him, and you… you weren’t a game to be played, not to Jake. 

To his surprise, he realised he was angry with you. Angry that you were humouring him, that you were giving into it, that you were enjoying it. That guy was not good enough for you, and you should know that. You should know that for your first time being touched, being someone else’s, you needed someone who knew how to handle you, how to make you feel good, show you what it feels like to give in to your wildest dreams and fantasies. You needed someone to teach you. The fury bubbling just beneath the surface worried him.

You weren’t his. You were free to do as you wished, and the thoughts that plagued him as the mother of his children was sitting in his lap, perfectly unaware, were enough to pool other feelings, like guilt and shame, and form a heady concoction of emotions that he knew sooner or later would explode all around him. None of the feelings trumped the relief that washed over him as soon as he saw Lo’ak approach the two of you and break apart the scene, and right then, in that moment, Jake never felt more grateful for his troublemaker son and his propensity for meddling in other people’s business.

You looked disappointed with the interruption, slightly irked at his son and at the way the hand that was running up and down your thigh was now vacant from the spot you obviously thought it belonged on. The boy was clearly annoyed at Lo’ak, and a smirk breeched the carefully constructed expression resting on the Olo’eyktan’s face - annoyed or not, everyone knew better than to challenge one of his sons. So, with a careful goodbye, he was gone, leaving you gesticulating widely in his direction and clearly despondent with the outcome. It wasn’t long before you left for your tent, and Jake knew that if he was to survive this night, he’d have to be careful not to give in to the one thing he wished for the most in the world. 

Your shower was hotter than what you were used to, hot enough to hopefully scald away the shame and embarrassment you felt now that you were sober once more. Your life seemed to be comprised mostly of those, recently, and while it was somewhat easy to forget how badly you fared in training your Avatar body once you got back to your bedroom and the safe confines of the labs, this new, fresh development lingered like a cold sore, painful whenever you remembered it. Did anyone else apart from Lo’ak see you, shamelessly flirting and allowing a Na’vi warrior to feel you up? Did everyone know how desperately you wanted someone to take you away and make you forget about the one man you actually wanted, the man who made all the other ones pale in comparison, the one man who you couldn’t have? You knew it was so wrong, how badly you craved his touch, what effect even a fleeting image of him in the back of your mind had on you, how your slick was running down your legs, how your brain couldn’t stop conjuring all the ways he could teach you how to be, how to love, how to live. How you knew his touch would ruin you and put you back together, kill you and finally bring you to life. 

As you fastened your towel onto your body and opened the door to your bedroom, you were startled to find the one man you couldn't shake from your mind sitting on your bed, eyes wandering over your barely dry body.

“God, Jake, you scared me!”

You couldn't believe he was in your room, as if by thinking about him hard enough you manifested him here. He was so tall, so much bigger than you as you stood now, in your human body, frail and delicate and so easy to break. He barely fit on your bed and in your room, taking most of the walking space, so much so you struggled to adjust your position to face him properly.

“…What are you doing here?” 

“What were you doing with that grunt at the party?”

You couldn't believe your ears, settling on a double take as you considered his question carefully, mulling over every word in your mind, as if doing so will finally reveal a secret meaning to it that you couldn't quite understand yet.

“Pardon?” 

“You heard me, kid.”

His words were dry and humourless. There was no levity to them, or to the situation, the room filled with thick tension, and for the first time in your life, you were almost...scared of him. Why did he care?

“I… he… we…”

“That’s what I thought. Why him? If you want someone to mate, I’m sure there’s better options out there.” 

“I don’t want to talk about it, Jake.”

You started turning around, dizzy from the way his presence was making you feel and tired of giving him so much power to do so. You didn't manage to, though, as his large hand caught your forearm and held you in place, and when you were forcefully turned back to look at him, you saw it all. The hurt. The anger. The... betrayal. The jealousy.

“No, this isn’t how this works. You always ask questions and get me talking about shit I haven’t said out loud in decades, or ever. You’re not going shy on me now, not anymore. So why him?” 

Fuck it.

“Because it’s not you, ok?! Because it can’t be you! And I don’t know if you’ve realised this, but it’s not like I have a line of men willing to mate or even be seen with a human, an alien, a sky demon. So it has to be him! That’s why.” 

“Kid…”

The tears were pooling in your eyes like beaded pearls making your vision blurry, and the struggle with which you've been trying to remove yourself from his grasp finally paid off because you did it, you finally manage to break free, but it was too late. You were exhausted, and you knew it was time to lay it all on the table, once and for all, for him to know, and to disprove, for him to break your heart so you could finally move on.

“No, Jake! You’re in my head, all the time. It’s messing with my mind, the deluded reality I’ve been living in. You talk to me, and you notice me, and you give me attention. You touch me, and you look at me like…”

Soft sobs broke your words apart and let their meaning linger all around you, sounding like infinite echoes in the room. It would all be over soon.

“...Like you want me. And I know you don’t, and I know it’s not real, and it hurts me! So I need something else, I need someone else, I need someone to show me there’s other men out there, to pull me out of this nightm-“

His lips, soft and needy, not at all like you imagined them to be, ceased your pleading words before you got a chance to speak them. It took a second, just one second, for you to understand what was happening, to process the way the kiss was everything you've ever wanted and more than you've ever dreamed about, the way he was desperate and hungry for your touch, for you to reciprocate his feelings... so you did. And you melted under his touch, and before long, the whole world disappeared from view, and there were no consequences to your actions, and all you knew, all you needed... was him.

You were both panting when you finally came up for air, and all you wanted was more. More. A little more. Always more.

“Fuck, kid. You’ve got no idea how much I want you. But I’ll show you.” His hand wandered down your much smaller body, until his large fingers found the knot of your bathrobe, that he skilfully undoes, before sliding them over your soaked folds. “Shit. Look how wet you are for me. Let me show you, please.” 

With a nod, you dropped your head backwards and knew, in your heart, whatever was next would be the beginning of the end, of you, of him, of everything you’ve both worked so hard for and yet, all you felt was unadulterated, heavenly, euphoric bliss. 

Maybe I blame my mother bleeding into my stride Maybe it was my father and his wandering eyes (It's their fault that) I'll always be in your corner 'Cause I don't feel alive 'til I'm burnin' on your backburner

taglist:@yagirlheree @mashiromochi @deepdarktower @tojisleftarm@childofgod-05 @youngpersonaathletebear @cinetrix @hinataashoyos @i-live-in-a-fantasy-daydream @misscaller06 @v1l-ismissing @legendarynoodlebowl@analuw @imjustcal @the-fractured-eye @pandoraontop @sweetirilly @kouyoumarryme @blxkstar @ok-boke @myheartfollower @the-mourning-moon @pandoraslxna @jakexneytiri @blue-slxt @kingjulian0o9 @erenjaegerwifee @babyduk213 @@toocoldoutsideforyou

[cherrytea556]

Are these signs/symptoms of neurodivergence?

I'm questioning if im neurodivergent (like autism or something) and i want to know if these are sign/symptoms of it based on my experience;

I tend to notice how i always tend to move in repeat (spinning, rocking back and force, bouncing leg, doing step to step etc...).

I make little eye contact with people. Now i am capable of making eye contact (even if it feels a bit off) though thats a habit i always have.

I dont know how to explain things in my head, i have the idea but i dont seem to know how to actually explain what it is and comes like idk, choppy? Definitely not well, thats for sure. Same with writing like now.

I tend to notice that sometimes i dont understand basic stuff like when my parents asked me to do something in a direction, im confused on what direction they meant until they point it out or a question my friend asked on how much i eat (a lot or little), i try to explain it in my own way because i thought it was in general but it was actually just food on one plate. She wonders why it was harder for me to answer since it was suppose to be a easy question, to which im also questioning as well.

I'm not good at communication. I try to with questions and stuff but i dont think i can have a long conversation unless the other person wants to talk about stuff (and even then i wonder what input i would give). Comforting is also hard for me since i want to make sure that im doing it right for my friends though i dont know how, again i try, and i do understand them if their upset about something, i just don't know how to exactly comfort them.

I use to have poor coordination when i was younger, whether its bumping into things or spraining/hurting my foot, my coordination wasnt up to standard to say the least. It got better as time went on though i find that I cant walk a straight line, its always a bit to the left or right.

I have a forgetful memory. I tend to forget things from my childhood from a large proportion or i have such vivid memories of them but i cant be specific at explaining it. This is also why i have trouble at school at times because whenever a video is playing and we have to write during the video playing, im worried that i wouldnt catch on and answer nothing.

I dont understand comedy and how to do it, im often the last one to get the joke (which is why i probably wont write a comedy, instead focusing on characters and how they bounce off each other)

People tend to tell me that i either talk loudly or quietly even when i dont notice it (especially being loud)

I dont sit properly. I notice that i dont sit regularly most of the time

I repeat stuff like pulling the jacket sleeves to my hands or just generally repeat something if i feel like its not right. Also when i was young, i use to repeat things characters say a lot of the time which faded but hasnt completely stopped)

I dont know if its sensory issues or something but i hate kissing noises, i always tend to swat it away like its a fly

I used (and still do) have weird visions, i dont want to describe them but they were definitely odd. I also notice that i view myself as random characters from media, not that i think i am the character but when im talking, i imagine myself as the character as im talking randomly if that makes sense

I laugh even if i don't actually find it funny

I took online tests and most of the answers were that i have moderate symptoms/chance of autism (not to self diagnose of course, just questioning)

I use to walk around in circles daily when i was in primary and i still do (just not around the whole room/in the oval this time lol)

For some reason, i dont have energy to do things like there was work for health yesterday and i finished it all except for one which isnt hard to answer exactly but i didnt have the energy to do it for some reason. It's very hard to do stuff if your brain just randomly has nothing (which happens at times)

I will play a movie multiple times in the background for some reason, it could just be a decent enough film and my brain will just make me repeat it as background noise (the knives out franchise, 7 women and a murder and now its death of 2021) This should be taken a grain of salt since it could just be things neurotypical people do as well

I dont think i have a special interest though when im really interested in stuff i found, i would look into it and want to share that info (like a creators unknown controversy or a random person i never heard of before having a tumblr call out blog about them) Im just really interested in odd things in general. I also regularly look at specific blogs/tags on tumblr daily like its a thing in my routine lol

I cannot make new friends (similar with communication but in a more general sense) i just dont know how, theirs students that nice to me but i dont know how to make them my friend per say (i dont connect with my year group that much tbh)

I think thats all I have, any answer to this is welcomed

[moody4world]

Got my twin with me like the parent trap (pt.1)

A/N: This is the first part of the series im writing based off of the movie, parent trap!! I’ve had this idea for months now and i’m so excited to finally have the first part done. its longer than anything i’ve written and i’m very proud of it so i hope you guys enjoy it too!🤍 if you guys have any questions feel free to send them in and i will gladly answer.

A big shout out to the anon that sent me the link for the movie🫶🏾

The reader will have a british accent in the fic for the sake of the storyline but no ethnicity or physical feature is really described except for maybe curly hair but everyone can read this.

Andy is Andre’s nickname

y/ln= your last name

You never thought that you’d be having the wedding of your dreams with the love of your life at the young age of 23. You had met Urban since very young and the two of you have been inseparable since. Your wedding was huge, beautiful decorations all over the cruise ship’s ball room. Yes cruise ship. You were never one to brag but you could admit that you came from a quite rich family. Every expense of your huge beautiful wedding was courtesy of your generous parents who always supported your relationship. Everything was wonderful but as they say. Everything must come to an end. And so it did.

16 years later

The loud chatter of young boys fills the camp ground as parents drop their kids off for summer camp. Big yellow school busses full of loud teenage boys. Hayden walked towards where the baggages have all been piled. He tries to pull his out but has no luck when more baggages are dumped on top. A shorter guy with dark brown short hair approaches him and tries to help but still no luck. “First year?” He asks Hayden. “How could you tell?” “You’re dressed different than most of us.” “Oh..i always dress like this. Kinda get it from my dad.” “Its cool. i like the hat by the way“ “Thanks” As they’re talking, a chubby guy about the same height as Hayden walks over and easily pulls his own handbag out of the tall pile. Hayden decides to call him over for some help and he gets his baggage as well. “Attention campers! Hayden Wyatt, Ivan Torres and Mikey Wu, the bear cabin.” “Oh that’s me.” Hayden says. To his surprise the two boys were in the same cabin as him. They took off to their assigned cabin for the next eight weeks ready to settle in.

“Oh come on Martin don’t cry, it’s only eight weeks i’ll be back home before we know it.” “You’re right, it’s just that i’ll miss you dearly. Remember if you wan’t to come home i’m only a phone call away.” “I know Martin, don’t worry i’ll miss you guys too.” The two of them do their special handshake and give each other a goodbye hug. Andrew sighs as he watches Martin gets back into the limo. “Chauffeur, to the airport!”

“Oh come on Martin don’t cry, it’s only eight weeks i’ll be back home before we know it.” “You’re right, it’s just that i’ll miss you dearly. Remember if you wan’t to come home i’m only a phone call away.” “I know Martin, don’t worry i’ll miss you guys too.” The two of them do their special handshake and give each other a goodbye hug. Andrew sighs as he watches Martin gets back into the limo. “Chauffeur, to the airport!”

Lunch time rolls around and the cafeteria is full of loud chatters from the boys. Hayden is standing at the right side of the fruit buffet table meanwhile Andre is on the left. In between them stood mr. Marvey, the head counselor of the camp. He was putting some orange slices on his plate and he turns to Hayden offering him some. “Would you like some orange slices buddy?” to which Hayden replies “Oh no thanks Marvey i’m allergic” “Oh okay.” Marvey decides to ask the boy on his left while still looking down. “How about you, would you like some orange slices?” Andre answers “Oh no thanks Marvey i’m allergic.” “Oh i know you just told-“ Marvey looks up noticing that the boy he just spoke to was now on his left. “me over here…how did you get on this side so fast? you know what, excuse your old man, its been alot of years working at this camp” Andre gives him an awkward smile and walks away.

After lunch the boys were quickly allowed to go participate in whichever one of the activities they wished. Hayden was doing very well at fencing. He was winning round after round. “Looks like we have our remaining champion, Hayden Wyatt!!” the counselor announces. “Anybody else wanna test their luck?” he asks. Andre and his friends had just came from their intense game of tennis and he decided why not give it a go. “I’ll take a whack at it.” He says. “Okay! looks like we’ve got ourselves a challenger.” The two boys put their masks on while facing away from each other. Once their masks are on they take position and salute each other.

The counselor blows his whistle and yells “Allez!” indicating the start of the match. It’s intense and everyone watching was invested. At one point Hayden almost got Andre but he was quick enough to dodge it smoothly. The clinging of the épéés against each other was fast and constant until Andre has Hayden cornered on a small balcony of a nearby cabin with nowhere to go. Hayden takes a step back when Andre tries to touch him with the point of his épéé causing him to fall backwards into a tub of water. Andre immediately sticks his hand out offering Hayden his help. “Oh shoot, here, let me help you.” “No, let me help YOU.” Hayden grabs his hand and pulls him into the the large water tub with him.

They step out keeping their backs faced towards eachother. “Alright everyone looks like we have a new winner, Andre Y/ln!!” the counselor announces.“Come on guys, make up. It was a fair and square game.” They both sigh in annoyance and turn around. The two boys let out a synchronized gasp when they finally face each other. Hayden feels like he’s looking into a mirror and vice versa. This boy who he has never met before happens to look exactly like him. Same eyes, same nose, same lips. Different haircut and accessories. They shake hands confusingly and let go immediately. The group of campers dispersed but Andy’s friends come stand next to him hurriedly.

“Why is everyone staring?” Hayden asks. “Dont you see it?” “See what?” he says again acting clueless. “The resemblance between us!” “The resemblance? between you and me?” Andy nods “Hmm i don’t really see it, your eyes seem closer together than mine and..your ears..well i hope you can still grow into them.” “Who do you think you are?” One of Andys friends asks. “No its fine, clearly i was raised with manners and good sportsmanship unlike this guy.” Hayden steps up to Andy getting defensive and Andy puffs his chest out ready to fight back. “Woah woah woah boys break it up, come on. Hayden, Andy. I mean Andy. Hayden. I mean Andy? Oh jesus” the counselor could not tell the two apart.

Later that night, Andy’s group cabin was packed. Everyone surrounded the small table watching him beat everyone that went up against him in a game of cards. Hayden and his group walks in and decides to challenge him. “I’ll take a whack at it” he says imitating Andre.

“Loser has to jump in the lake.” Hayden proposes.

“Fine by me.” “Actually no, skinny dip in the lake.” “Also fine by me because im gonna win.” Andre says. He’s confident until he sees Haydens smirk once he put his cards down first. He had lost and now he had to skinny dip in the freezing cold lake. He’s never done something like this before. He strips and walks quickly across the deck to get to the lake. He takes a deep breath to prepare himself and takes a dive. Once he comes back up all he could see was the last few of the boys running away. And by the time he got out all that was left of his clothes were his sneakers. his underwear, his t-shirt, his pajama pants, all gone. He takes a deep breath to calm his nerves. “Fine. Two can play this game. Hayden wyatt.” He says while his teeth were chattering from the cold.

The next morning Hayden and his friends are walking back to their cabin after playing some football. “Bro that match was so good their keeper was ass. We scored so easy on them.” “Yeah but honestly you’re a beast at football man you gotta teach me that one trick you did.” “Sure man i’ll teach you but i’m so tired right now i’m gonna take a nap till lunch time.” Mikey stops abruptly in shock causing hayden and Ivan to stop as well. They look at him confused and he goes “I dont think thats possible man.” Hayden looks at Mikey questioningly “Why not?” He points at their cabin and Hayden is more than surprised to see all three of their beds, night tables and bags on the roof. And to top it all off a british flag flapping in the wind. All that Hayden could say was “No way”

That same night Hayden and his two friends were ready to get revenge. They took their flashlights and a bags full of the materials necessary to carry out their prank perfectly. Multiple strings connected all throughout the cabin, whipped cream painted over one of Andre’s friends with a ginger bread man design. The other friend they covered in honey and Andy himself had a bunch of honey on the floor near his bed and balloons filled with water ready to drop on him as soon as he stepped on a string near his bed.

The next morning Andy wakes up in confusion and alarmed. He sits up immediately in bed, careful not to touch anything. “What the fuck” his roommates however were not able to be as calm as him and both screamed much louder “Bro what the hell is this shit” said the one covered in sticky honey. “Who the hell did this?” asks the one covered in whipped cream. Andy tries to step out of bed carefully but because he was trying to avoid stepping in honey he stepped on the forbidden string. Three small water filled balloons drop down but he manages to dodge each one. “Ha! missed me dumbass.”

Or so he thought… less than 5 seconds later a giant water balloon comes straight down onto him. Wetting his pajamas and everything close to him. He was so frustrated and annoyed. But most importantly he was ready to get back at Hayden more than ever.

Meanwhile Andy and his roommates’ bloods were boiling. Hayden and his friends were watching through the window trying to laugh as quietly as possible as their prank played out exactly how they wanted. Right as their high-fiving each other the head counselor walks by with his giant microphone. “Goodmorning boys.” “Goodmorning Marvey” they reply in unison until realization hits them like a brick. “MARVEY?!” they say all scared. Mr. Marvey raises his microphone and announces that they will be doing a surprise inspection on all cabins.

And just for Haydens luck, the pranked cabin was up first. He runs to the door blocking it from Marvey’s view. “Marvey i don’t think you should go in there sir. One of the guys got sick and it’s reaally and i mean really disgusting in there, trust me.” he tries to say as convincing as possible. “Oh well if one of the guys are sick then i should definitely go in there and check on him Hayden.” “No you can’t. He’s really really contagious.” Andre watches amusingly through the window as Hayden is struggling to change mr Marvey’s mind. So ofcourse he decides to help Hayden out. Not.

“Actually mr Marvey we’re all perfectly fine in here. Unless Hayden Wyatt knows something we dont. Open the door and come see for yourself Marvey.” And that he does. Marvey tells Hayden to step aside and he opens the cabin door. Before he was able to set one foot in the cabin a bucket full of chocolate came pouring down straight onto him. He yells in disgust and shock. The younger counselor tries to push him out of the way but this only made it worse. He slipped into the cabin, sliding through the honey and the web of strings until the opposite end of the room and the younger counselor was quick to meet the same predicament. The counselor was trying to regain his footing but the floor was too slippery. He had the brilliant idea to hold on to a doll that was hanging on one of the strings.

This causes Hayden to scream “NO” but it was much too late. The fan starts to spin and a bunch of white feathers come flowing down. Sticking everywhere and i mean everywhere. Hayden felt extremely nervous about the consequences he would have to deal with. “I told you it was a mess in here” he says nervously as the counselors look at him. Andy looks over to the counselors angrily saying “He should know, he did it”

Mr. Marvey angrily points at the two boys “YOU and YOU pack your bags right now!”

After three hours of constant cleaning every camper was told to march along to the isolation cabins. By now everyone had heard about what happened in the cabin. During the march all you could hear were the synchronized stomps and chatters. Once they reached the cabins, Marvey once again picked up his microphone. “The rest of you, get back to your activities.” All the boys cheered and wooed and wasted no time getting back to what they were previously up to. Once the cheering calmed down Marvey turned to the two boys. “The two of you, the isolation cabin.”

The boys stood there looking at Marvey expecting him to say something else. “NOW” he says unexpectedly and both the boys and the younger counselor flinch in surprise while Andre and Hayden hurry to the cabin.

Hayden and Andre make a deal to simply stay out of each other’s way. Later that night Hayden was having a hard time falling asleep because the lights were on. Why doesn’t he just turn them off, you ask? Well Andre was journaling and there was no bedside lamp for him to use. Hayden was fed up and flipped the light switch on his side of the room, causing the cabin to go completely dark. Andre immediately flips the switch on his side turning the light back on. They go back and forth with the light until Hayden gives up, pushing his cover over his head and tries to fall asleep.

The next morning Andre was playing with his deck of cards while Hayden was sticking up posters of his favorite designers’ pieces, dogs he found cute and his favorite football players. A huge gust of wind unexpectedly rose causing a bunch of his posters and photos to fly off of the wall and onto the cabin floor. He rushes to close the window but quickly notices that he needs help. Andre runs to the window helping him and together they manage to close it.

They sit down together collecting the photos and posters off of the floor. Until a few photos caught Andres attention. The first photo had a beautiful white building with teal green ceilings, it almost looked like a castle of some sort. Andre had never seen it before. “What is this place?” He turns the picture to Hayden when he asks. “Oh thats churchill downs. Its where the annual kentucky derby takes place.” “What exactly is the kentucky derby? i’ve never been there before.” Hayden looks at Andre in shock. “I don’t know if i should be offended right now or honored that i get to explain this to you. But the derby is basically a horse race that people bet money on. And kentucky is where i grew up.” He looks over and coincidentally finds a photo of the house he grew up in. “Oh here’s a photo of the house actually. Pretty cool huh?”

Andre really does find the house pretty cool. It wasn’t bigger than his ,not that it mattered but it seemed nice and homey. The other one that caught his attention was a photo of a man with long hair photographing some type of artist during a performance with a very large crowd. “Who’s this?” “Oh thats my dad taking a photo of my uncle while he’s performing. He didn’t know i was taking his picture until after the show” Hayden says with a proud smile on his face “They’re like my best friend, we do everything together.” Hayden grabs another photo, this one was taken by his dad.

“Oh look at this one, its me eating a mcchicken but with barbecue sauce.” He was laughing at his face in the photo and Andre found it hard not to laugh as well. “Thats so weird, i do that too!” He says to Hayden. “Thats so strange, most people think it’s disgusting but i learned it from my dad and now its the only way i eat it.” Andre smiles at the fact that they have that preference in common but he cant help but feel some type of way about the topic. Hayden notices this and tries to include him a bit more. “So uh what’s your dad like? Is he one of those chill ones you can talk about everything to or is he strict and lame? I hate those type of dads.”

Andre looks at him and goes “I don’t have a dad.” He laughs a little and continues “Well obviously i had one at some point but my mom got divorced a long time ago and she never even mentions him at all. Its like he disappeared into thin air.” He shrugs as if it was any other normal conversation. “Scary how nobody stays together anymore.” Hayden says while shaking his head. Andre nods along saying “Tell me about it.” Out of curiosity Hayden decides to ask Andre for his age.

“How old are you by the way?” Andre replies “I’ll be seventeen on october eleventh” This caught Hayden by surprise causing him to choke on his own spit leading him into a coughing fit. He bumps his fist to his chest regaining his breath and replies excitingly “So do I.” to which Andre adds “Really? your birthday is on october eleventh? how weird is that?” and Hayden says “Extremely.”

A small silence reigns in the cabin for a short time before Andre asks Another question. “Hayden?” “Yeah?” “What’s your mother like?” “I haven’t met her, her and my dad split up when i was a baby or maybe even before that. But i do know for sure that she was very pretty.” “How do you know that?” “Well my dad used to have this photo of her in his drawer and he looked at it all the time until he gave it to me to keep.” A lightbulb goes on in Andre’s brain but Hayden seems as clueless as always. “Hayden do you not realize what’s going on?” “No? What’s going on?” “I mean think about it. I only have a Mother and you only have a father.” “You know you can just say mom and dad right?” “Let me finish my sentence please.” “My bad.” “As i was saying. You only have a..dad and I only have a mum.” Hayden rolls his eyes at Andre’s british pronunciation. “You’ve never seen your mum and i’ve never seen my dad.

You have one old picture of your mum and i have one old picture of my dad. But at least yours is probably a whole picture. Mine’s a pathetic ripped half of a photo.Right down the middle too-” Andre’s last sentences makes Hayden’s eyebrows go up and he rushes to his baggage and starts rummaging through it. “What are you digging in there for?” Hayden find the photo of his mom and holds it to his chest. Andre looks at him confused and asks “What is that?” “It’s the photo of my mom… mine is ripped too.” “Right down the middle?” Hayden nods. “Right down the middle.” At that very moment Andre rushes to his drawer grabbing his half of a photo and holds it to his chest like Hayden did.

They stand facing each other. Both holding their half of a picture to their chest. They each take a deep breath and decide to turn the photos towards each other at the count of three. “One” Andre says, taking a step closer towards Hayden. “Two” Hayden continues the countdown taking a step closer towards Andre. “Three” they say in unison turning the photos towards each other. Just as expected they were a perfect match. Neither of them could contain their shock yet also excitement. “Thats my dad.” Hayden says while still in shock. Meanwhile Andre is much more on the excited end of the spectrum. “That’s my mum!” Hayden felt himself tearing up from the huge wave of emotions. He wipes his eyes and points at Andre. “So if your mom is my mom. And my dad is your dad and we’re both born on october eleventh then you and i are like…brothers.” At this point he was smiling so hard he could feel his cheeks starting to hurt. “Like brothers? Hayden we’re twins!”

Andre jumps up and down in excitement, causing a small locket to fall from his pocket. He quickly picks it up holding it tight. “What are you holding?” Hayden asks him. “Its a locket. I’ve had it since i was born. It has an A on it.” “I have the exact same one except mine has an H on it.” They both laugh in disbelief. “Oh my god i’m not an only child, i’m a twin!” Hayden says. “And there’s two of me. I mean us! Its like-“ “Mind boggling.” Andre adds. “Totally!” “Completely!” “Oh my god.” “Oh my god!” They say as they pull each other in for a hug.

They spend that entire night telling each other about their parents. “So tell me, what’s mom like?” “Well she’s a wedding gown designer.” “Really?” “She’s becoming quite famous actually, a princess in Greece just bought one of her gowns.” Andre tells him. “Wow” “You know what’s interesting? Neither of our parents ever got married again. Has dad ever gotten close to marrying?” to which Hayden snorts and says “Never. He always says bitches come and go.” They both laugh a little at that. “Yeah mum has never gotten close either.” The room falls silent as the both of them get comfortable in their bed ready to sleep. That is until Hayden jumps up with a face thats says ‘i am an absolute genius’ and he goes “I have the brilliant most brilliant idea! i’m a total genius!”

He turns to look at his brother. “You want to know dad right?” to which Andre sits up and replies “ Right.” “And i’m dying to know mom. So what i’m thinking is.. don’t freak out okay?” Andre nods. “I think we should switch places!” Andres eyes widen at his brother’s crazy idea but Hayden just keeps going. “When camp is over i’ll go back to London as you and you’ll go back to Louisville as me!” “WHAT?!” “Andre we can pull it off, we’re twins aren’t we?” “Hayden, we’re totally and completely one hundred percent different.” “So? what’s the problem? You can teach me how to be you and i’ll teach you how to be me. Look I can be you already.” Hayden says pulling his long curly hair in a ponytail to make it seem shorter like Hayden’s and says in his best british accent “No it’s fine, clearly i was raised with manners and good sportsmanship unlike this guy.” Andre wouldn’t admit it but that was a quite good impression of him.

“Come on Andy, i gotta meet my ma.” Hayden begs him with a pout trying to win him over. “Okay…the problem is you know, if we switch…sooner or later they’ll have to unswitch us.” To which Hayden adds “And if they do they’ll have to meet again…face to face!” And Andre continues, “After all these years..” He says excitingly. Hayden laughs, proud of his brilliant plan. “Thank you.” He says smugly as they both lay back down in their bed. “Told you i was a total genius.”

[wu-kongs]

Hi its drunk King anon again.

YOUR ANSWER TO MY ASK WAS PERFECT. I JUST AGSHDKDHSF..... THESE MONKIES ARE DISASTERS WAITONG TO BE IGNITED.

Ok now that is out of my system.... I'm about to really drive you up the wall I think what would happen if wukong remembered the night before

Can you see my dilemma.... on one hand, king doesn't remember ok im safe, damn I wish he'd remember if only to be tormented

On the other, fighting and king says that's not what I remember from that night and just general nonsense like that while Mac is slowly dying of.... something. But he remembers holy shit he knows exactly how much effect he has on me..... PANIC

warning for extremely suggestive content towards the end // sequel to

worry begins to creep its nasty little way in about a week later. he valiantly tries to ignore it and tell himself he's victorious—his eye is back in his possession, and maybe that asshat finally took a hint and stopped chasing after it. then, another week passes... and another.

when it comes to the eye, wukong always acted like a man possessed. the fact that he hasn't made a play for it in a month, and that macaque hasn't heard hide nor hair of the guy in about as long, hints that something must be holding him up—and it must be serious.

that said, macaque has been desperately struggling to keep out of the business of caring about whatever the hell wukong is up to. so long as he leaves macaque alone, he couldn't give less of a shit. the problem is, he's only been telling himself that—his wretched, traitorous heart refuses to stop dragging him back in.

he can't help but wonder if it's because of that night. macaque has been instantly shutting down any memory of it before he can let himself linger and yearn. if it escapes his defences, he immediately thinks about the way wukong had described... obtaining his eye—macaque could fool himself, then, into thinking that wukong saw it nothing more as a trophy.

the problem is... it doesn't upset him anymore. he doesn't know if it's because wukong confessed the true reason why, or if these gods-awful shenanigans are wearing his anger over it down.

either way, macaque has it now, and wukong hasn't come for it yet.

he wants wukong to remember that night, wants it to have thrown a wrench in his psyche like it has for macaque. wants it to keep him up at night and wonder and realize exactly the mistakes he's made.

"you're mine forever."

sickening.

heat rolls low in macaque's belly.

and it does the same when finally, finally, wukong makes a move.

"what'd you do, nap the entire time you were gone? lookin' a little rusty there, great sage!"

he hears wukong growl and snickers vindictively. wukong disappears and macaque gasps as soon as a fiery presence snaps at his side. without looking, he raises his arms over his blind side and braces. a vicious kick connects and sends him shooting into the ground. all the breath is knocked from his chest and stars explode over his vision.

before he can get a grip on his existence again, a hand yanks him from the gravel and effortlessly lifts him off the ground, leaving his legs to dangle. he laughs dryly, breath catching on some blood coming from some mysterious part of his insides.

"w-wow, you really are r-rusty," he rasps.

wukong bares his fangs and shakes him once. "we wouldn't be doing this if you just left me and what's mine alone!"

macaque coughs. "is the poor baby g-gonna cry without his binkie? gods, you really are pathetic."

he's body-slammed back into the ground for his troubles. a small part of him is starting to think he's the masochist. wukong is just too fun to tease, he can't help it.

"you really do have a death wish, don't you?" wukong hisses from where he's straddled over macaque now. "why can't you just leave well-enough alone?" his eyes roam over macaque's face with something almost like franticness, traces of red and gold flashing in. "why can't you just," his jaw grits, "let me have this."

macaque spits a thick glob of blood at his face. it lands. he promptly wrenches his neck out of the way of a ground-cracking punch that flies in where his head had been just a second before. a manic grin splits his face.

"it's my eye, wukong, you freak. how 'bout you learn to leave me alone, huh? you were so good at it before!"

"what, like you left me alone?" wukong snaps right back.

macaque blinks, taken aback. the words replay, and then his heart starts to speed up. "i would if you just—just let me have my eye back in peace!"

wukong sneers, and then a vicious, sly grin tilts over his mouth. "i think you know that's not what i'm talking about."

no.

no way he remembers.

then, wukong's face is right in his, bruised and brilliant and beautiful.

"you stayed."

macaque's heart is thumping, so loud and fast that it's humiliating.

"you—" he grits out. "you were fucking drunk," he says in a scramble to save face. "and fucking—laid on me. you think you're made of feathers? boulders for brains—"

but wukong is still grinning, less vicious and more mischievous, like the cat who got the cream. agitation stabs at macaque.

"we wouldn't have been in that situation if you hadn't been drunk," and this time, it's his turn to grin, "off my blood. talk about wanting to be left alone."

red blooms over wukong's face as he snatches out of macaque's personal space, though the heat still radiates so thick and heavily between them.

"don't think that means anything coming from you, macaque," wukong hisses, hand going to press around his throat. "do i have to remind you who got drunk off of my blood first?"

an opening. macaque smirks. wukong is heavy over him, sure, but it can't stop him from shifting his hips upwards. wukong flinches.

"you forget, my king, exactly how delectable you are." one of his fangs shines in the sunlight above, and he runs his tongue over it while not missing the way wukong's eyes trace it at every step. he hedges his bets by lightly laying his aching hands over wukong's thighs on either side of his hips. "or... maybe you do remember. isn't it too easy to make you bleed these days?"

wukong yelps when, without warning, macaque digs his claws through his clothes and into his flesh. vice grips clutch his wrists and slam them back into the ground, and when macaque opens his eyes out of the startling pain, wukong's face is right in his. their harsh pants tangle. wukong's eyes are doing that thing again—roaming every part of his face, but... all macaque can do is stare at his mouth. he doesn't notice wukong freeing one of his hands until another roams over his chest.

he arches into the touch, moving their mouths that much closer, that much—almost—

and then something snaps. all weight is promptly gone from over his body. he heaves a breath, disoriented and searching in a frenzy.

wukong is standing feet away from him now, the necklace dangling in his clenched fist. he looks at it, then looks at macaque, who can't even out his breathing—and he isn't the only one.

still, that fucker has to have the last word, leering up and down at macaque's strewn form.

"you should probably take care of that." he gestures at the... problem in macaque's trousers.

heat and shame flood macaque's face, and he can't even get a word in before, there wukong goes, right over the horizon.

macaque collapses back into the destruction wukong caused by treating his body like a ragdoll. he can't even be upset about it. wukong is strong. no one knows that better than macaque. does he like being reminded of it?

stupid question.

he raises a shaky hand to look at it and sees stray gold dripping from his claws, down his fingers, palm, wrist... he's heated all over. he aches.

wukong has the eye... again. so now it's macaque's turn to chase. he can't be upset about that either, about this, the natural state of things. chasing wukong forever.

he can't even stop himself from licking his fingers clean, the taste thick and sweet on his tongue when his other hand shoves into his pants.

...

he awakens nude from the most fantastic sleep he's had in centuries—no nightmares, no restlessness, no insomnia, simply pure... bliss.

he goes from purring contentedly to wide-awake in less than a second. why is he naked. and why did he sleep so well. wukong never has a good sleep.

hand to his chest out of miserable habit, he flinches when he realizes two things: one, the pendant is gone. two, his skin is bare. his legs kick frantically, shoving off the blanket over his lap that definitely hadn't been there the last he remembered.

then, it all slams into him. in fact, the taste still lingers in his mouth.

macaque.

and that's the name he's panting too, when weeks later, he's back in isolation, paw plastered over his mouth as he tries to quell his frustrations with turns of fingers and fists.

he has the eye back now. so. now all he has to do is wait until the next time that asshole comes for it.

maybe then, he can come for wukong too.

[icemankazansky]

Ice's death in tgm left me in a weird place mentally too. I have zero complaints with the movie itself. Its my own feelings Im trying to untangle - to see ice die from the thing that's made val so sick. It was a respectful send off for the character but it also makes me feel some kind of way considering val's situation. I also wanted to ask you if you dont mind since youve been a val fan longer, what according to you are the most striking things youve observed about him?

I understand completely. It's ... I don't know, maybe it was cathartic for him. I wonder what Jack and Mercedes felt, fake attending their own father's funeral after he fake dies from the thing that actually made him so sick and has completely altered his life ... Who knows, maybe they're all more emotionally well-adjust than we are.

Oh, Val. Come with me, I have a feeling this is going to be a long one.

The Artist

First off: I believe Val Kilmer is the most underrated actor of his generation. And I'm not alone in thinking that. While doing research for my thesis, I came across a number of people in the industry who describe him exactly that way. I also read an extremely unkind article that posited him as "the failed Tom Cruise," and in addition to just being kind of ugly, it kind of misses the point of Val altogether. Val Kilmer never wanted to be a movie star. Val wanted to be an actor. From his days at Juilliard and decades after that, Val considered acting to be a serious art, and what he wanted as a professional was to explore that art and challenge himself. He wanted to do Hamlet. (And he did, in 1988 at the Colorado Shakespeare Festival. But that was his goal since he was a teenager, when he started pursuing acting formally.)

Some people he has worked with have called him difficult, but at the center of these accusations, I read Val trying to do his job well. The directors of Top Secret!, Val's first film role, complained that he asked them for more direction, and that, "this really isn't that kind of movie." Val was 23 years old. He had just graduated from Juilliard a few years earlier. He was doing what he was taught to do, and he was trying to do it well. As an actor, expecting a director to direct you seems ... like what their job is? IDK. In the '80s and '90s, he got cast in some leading man type roles because he looks like that, but if you look at his filmography, he's also choosing smaller, meatier or more complicated roles, or roles that let him work with people he wanted to work with. At the same time as he was playing Batman in the highest grossing movie of 1995, he was shooting Heat because he wanted to work with Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino. (When they approached him for the role, they told him they couldn't pay him much above day rate, what can we do to keep you? and he was going to do the movie anyway because he wanted to work with the cast and crew, but he asked, "Can I be on the poster?" and that is an answer to a question that you didn't ask, but that is why Chris Shiherlis is so large on the Heat poster.)

Curious

This is related, but Val has an insatiable curiosity. He is always trying to learn new things, not only about acting, but about other forms of art, about the world around him. There are many stories of Val trying to learn from his colleagues on movie sets; he annoyed Sam Shepherd enough with his questions on the set of Thunderheart that Sam basically told him to fuck off, but he also spent a lot of time speaking to Chief Ted Thin Elk, less about acting and more about his life experience and his experience as an Indigenous person, something Val has a lot of curiosity about because he was told his whole life that his paternal grandmother was full Native, but that was really as much as he'd been told. (I think that probably helped him get into Ray Levoi's shoes, and his performance in that film is one of his subtlest, so much said with expressions or posture or the way he holds the silence... ugh, don't get me started, Ray.)

And his curiosity has shaped his life and his career. He wanted to explore what he could do with his voice, and eventually found he was able to mimic Jim Morrison's voice so well that members of the band couldn't tell Morrison's tracks from Val's. In The Doors, he sang live on film, take after take. That's ... it's a little insane, in a very Val Kilmer kind of way. When he lost his voice, he started discovering ways he could act without it, and he started new ventures with other kinds of art.

Spiritual / Loving

Val's faith is an important part of his life. I admit to not knowing much about Christian Science, but I have read and heard Val talking about how he understands faith and his relationship with the world, and the word that he uses is Love. He seems to genuinely have an incredible relationship with his children. He's just constantly delighted by them, and he loves them so, so much. And I think that he views the whole world with an open heart, and that he loves more than just his family or his work or his faith: He loves the wonders of nature, and animals, and he loves art and the whole world, really. He has a sense of childlike wonder that is unexpected and refreshing in the hard, cynical world we live in. He finds beauty and fun and hope in so many things. In his memoir, Val quotes his then-wife Joanne Whalley as saying, "You have a crush on everything." And he admits that he does. And you get that sense from him. When I went to meet with him, he was incredibly kind and caring and curious and warm. He didn't have to meet with me. He agreed to for his own reasons. After he greeted me, he asked me why I wrote the book, why him, and when I explained it to him, he seemed genuinely touched. I thanked him for getting me through a rough time in my life, and he took my hand in his and squeezed it, and just inclined his head. This was after he'd gotten sick, but before he got the stoma, so he could speak, but I could tell it was difficult, and I imagine now that it was probably painful. His handler has asked me to bring several copies of the book, and I did, and I had one for Val, which he accepted very graciously, and the rest I was going to give to his handler because she hadn't said what she wanted them for, but she said no, keep those, and Val insisted on signing them all. He had a little vase with a yellow rose in it in his room, and he insisted on signing the vase for me, as well, and giving me both the vase and the rose because, "Women should have flowers." And he made sure we got a picture together, which I hadn't even thought of, because it was just a private meeting, like, in his space, but he wanted to give me that. I'm an empath, and I pick up on people's emotions really, really easily, and at no point did I ever get anything from him that wasn't warm and caring. He had never met me before. He only knew I existed for a few months. But he went out of his way to be kind to me, to make me feel heard and appreciated. That is a rare thing.