#also I’m trans and autistic and I said so

[northlight14]

Spinaraki but specifically in a they’re both trans and autistic kinda way

[lilgynt]

i’m gonna COMPLAIN. SHOCKER.

[sundayinthcpark]

.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Can you do an autistic trans(if you do that) male reader who doesn’t really get social cues but is overall pretty quiet and reserved with the people from the Hazbin hotel?

𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝔹𝕦𝕥 𝔽𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕝𝕪

Words: 1111

𝔸𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣:

He will be unaware at first, so his first impression about you is not good. Thinks you’re being rude on purpose, but when he finds out that's not the case he’ll feel slightly bad.

For his assumptions he’ll subtly apologize by dropping presents in your room (Unnamed of course.) and lending you a helping hand.

If you two become close he will take you to his tailor to get matching suits, different colours obviously, can’t have you taking his signature colour now, can we?

***

For the first few days you’ve been at the hotel Alastor has been weirdly stand offish. Others didn’t mind, often glad he’s staying away rather than closer. But you wanted to know why, so you asked Charlie.

Who asked Alastor, to which he gracefully answered.

“Well, I don’t enjoy seeing terrible manners around the hotel, surely you don’t either?” At his words the reason for avoidance clicked in her head.

“Why didn't you say so? Well knowing you, you wouldn’t… But Y/N isn’t that good with social cues, so he doesn’t mean any of, whatever he’s been doing.”

“Oh…” At her words he left the room, finding you. “Well hello my Handsome fellow,”

“Hi?” After his most recent actions you didn’t expect him to just waltz up to you.

“Unfortunately someone has ruined my suit,” Correct, a good chunk was missing. “And hopefully you would accompany me?”

“Sure, I guess?”

“Perfect!”

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕖:

She's unsurprisingly similar when it comes to social cues.

When it comes to you being autistic or trans she won’t notice, that’ll be the last thing she knows.

You two can not be left alone, someone will need to supervise you both.

***

It has been barely a week since you fell into hell and it’s been terrible. There were too many things happen that you could say or even recall, so today was meant to be relaxing. Or at least somewhat close, until someone pulled you around.

They were your only friend here, so of course you had to follow. After a few hours walking around you found you both in front of a hotel, one called the ‘Hazbin hotel.’ Excitedly knocking at the door while you watched.

Within seconds the door swung open revealing an excited blonde.

“Oh my, hi!” Pulling you both in as she spoke, which allowed you to see other people hanging around. “I’m Charlie, and welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”

“Told ya you’d like it here.”

You were both aware nothing was said beforehand but you didn’t confront them. Seemed like the others knew something was up, so they had Charlie pull you away.

“Since you're new, how about a private tour of the Hazbin Hotel?”

𝕍𝕒𝕘𝕘𝕚𝕖:

Compared to the other hotel residents your quietness is a surprise, but a welcome one at that.

If you ask or signal at all to her she’ll be at your side to subtly help you with social cues and anything else needed.

Especially if you’re new (Also if not) she’ll help you get masculine clothing, although she might have to get others help as she isn’t the most masculine either.

***

Charlie had just brought you to the hotel in a… not so good condition. She wasn’t sure what you went through to look like that but she knew you needed some help, and she was going to help where she could.

“Alastor, I need your help”

“Hmm?”

“You know the newbie, I have to get him some clothes. Problem is I have no clue where to go.” At her words his smile increases slightly.

“I could help, for a price…”

“Nevermind.”

While she wanted to help she wouldn’t risk anything with Alastor, maybe Angel would be better.

𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕝 𝔻𝕦𝕤𝕥:

He’s seen some shit during his time down in hell, so your actions and attitude isn’t seen as weird to him.

To a degree he’ll take advantage of you. Never anything you wouldn’t want, but to keep him safe from Vaggie or Alastor.

But only he can do it, if anyone else even tries he’ll be there to protect you.

***

“Vaggie, why would I do that?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe you–”

“Doesn’t matter, I would never when Y/N is with me!”

At his words Vaggie looked down at you, finding you wrapped in Angels pairs of arms. You had a few blooming bruises around your face but otherwise seemed alright.

“Just… Don’t do it again, I don’t want to see Y/N or Charlie get mad at you.”

“Really, Y/N mad at me? Never!” One pair of hands had come up to cup your cheeks, able to leave multiple kisses. Causing Vaggie to leave quickly.

“Now, let me take care of those bruises.”

𝕊𝕚𝕣 ℙ𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤:

He’s been thrown into the same boat as you, has absolutely no understanding of social cues.

If anything the eggs make it worse, as they are somehow worse than sir pentious.

He has accidentally hurt the both of you at once somehow, no one is sure how that happened.

***

The streets didn’t seem too busy, which was weird for hell. But it might’ve been the fact you and Sir Pentious just weren’t aware of them walking. His tail was swaying dangerously behind him, knocking over any people.

During this his eggs were scattered around the both of you. Some stayed behind, in between and some strayed next to you. Which caused an even bigger barrier to form, now people had to step off the path.

ℍ𝕦𝕤𝕜:

When he first meets you he won’t really care, he’s had worst people hang around.

If he’s being honest he understands and gets social cues, but majority of the time he just doesn’t care about them.

Even then he knows with your lack of awareness you’re likely to get into some unwanted trouble, so he hangs around a lot more.

***

Husk never had the heart to blame you for any trouble, he knew you never meant it. So tonight he accompanied you to a nearby bar, intending for at least a semi-nice night out. But of course someone had to ruin it.

A drunk demon decided he wanted to bother you for the night, ignoring Husk the whole time. But over time his anger rose, you weren’t even looking at him and you didn’t seem interested.

In which you weren’t, but he seemed so incessant that you spoke, even if you didn’t. His attitude quickly became clear very quickly, except you didn’t notice. As he reached for you Husk was quicker, sending a card flying into his head.

That caused everyone to start their own fights. Which gave you two the chance to leave, with minimal injuries of course. Taking the chance you both ran out, luckily no one else was waiting outside.

“We’re going back.”

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Hey so, maybe an odd question, but did you feel like a different person when you started T? I’m a trans guy and am trying to figure out weather I want to do hormones. A lot of the physical effects sound really great, but I’m kind of scared of what it might do to me mentally. A friend of mine has to take it for medical purposes and he absolutely HATES it. He feels like it turns him into an entirely different person that he hates being and completely destroys his capacity for creativity or emotions of any kind. This can’t be everybody’s experience right?

Heya! Answering this on public for folks to chime in with their own personal anecdotes. (Including bad emotional effects - let's be respectful that not everyone has a great HRT experience. I'd imagine each of us struggles with something we don't like about T.)

Testosterone took the edges off my negative emotions. I stopped frustration crying nearly overnight and got a lot less irritable. My explosive temper went down to a low simmer. I suddenly felt like I had patience for the first time in my life. I don't have as many autistic meltdowns now, and when they do happen, it's more me pacing in circles than breaking something.

I still feel emotions like sadness, but it's harder to physically cry. I haven't noticed any changes to my creativity. I feel happier, but that has more to do with not being closeted anymore.

I'm definitely hornier on T, and that sometimes converts into irritability, something I can control with mindful behavior.

What can shock some trans folks is that HRT won't solve all your mental problems. Testosterone has not helped my Depression that's unrelated to gender dysphoria, so I still battle with cycles of wretched ennui. It also hasn't helped my ADHD, and I sometimes wonder if it's even made me a bit more forgetful. That said, HRT removed a ton of background radiation in my life to where I am now better equipped to deal with my mental illnesses.

Even though my experience has been overwhelmingly positive, I have had a few trans masc folks tell me that they felt like T deadened their emotions in an unpleasant way. The odds are in your favor, but it sucks if you're the one who gets bad results. But I would imagine that your emotions would recalibrate once you'd stop HRT.

But overall, I felt like I was trapped in teenage-level emotional turmoil well into my 30s (when I transitioned), and T makes me feel like an even-keeled adult. I am the same person as before, but a better version of that person.

I hope that helps. When considering HRT, it's important to remember that you can just try it out and stop if you don't like it. There will be tradeoffs, both permanent and reversible, so learning about those will definitely help in your decision here. But you have a lot of control here, especially when you jump in aware.

If you go for it, keep a mood journal and make it a topic to discuss with a therapist or other trans folks. Wishing you all the best!

[saltiecattoz]

i just realized there’s no way for people to know i’m a “furry” on instagram unless you looked at my carrd which means they read this:

… bro

uh oh the cracker conservative snowflakes found me on instagram 🙈 i’m so scared guys 🥺🥺🥺

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AMITA for lying to everyone I know about my identity’s as a queer/neurodivergent person?

I (18M) am a bisexual, transgender man who is also autistic, ADHD, and OCD. When people hear this about me, even if they know me, I feel like they build up this image of me as an awkward, “cringy” 11 year old who’s obsessed with “cringy” fandoms. And while i have a qualm with this because I know they are looking down on people who are just less masked/higher support needs, I also dislike that they do this because it’s just not who I am. Without the labels, I mostly seem like just a normal dude, if not a bit nerdy.

I also used to be extremely bullied as a kid (7-12) to the point of a suicide attempt, mostly due to homophobic, transphobic, or ablest remarks about me. Since then I’ve completely changed community’s and do not talk to anyone i knew before high school.

When authority figures (Teachers, Show Directors, Investors of the teen programs I lead) apply ablest/transphobic stereotypes or prejudices to me, they also tend to be less,,, normal? around me. Less kind compared to other kids, call me an “inspiration”, or they’ll coddle me when I’m incredibly capable. I do a lot for someone my age- and I know the connections I make now at conferences and whatnot will help me in the long run. My dad’s family is poor, and my immediate family is more comfortable but not that much. I know I’m smart, and I can weaponize that to get a better life for my family by getting good scholarships and jobs in good fields. I can’t just let people who could be very important to my goals look down on me. So i just.. don’t tell them anything about me. They might assume Im odd or “not normal”, and for the most part I let them assume whatever, but if i’m ever asked directly about anything I deny it. Especially in relation to me being transgender; I have the very privileged ability to pass without any medical intervention, and I use that to pretend to be cisgender. Living in the deep south of USAmerica, most of who I am could make my social life very uncomfortable to downright miserable.

Here’s where the problem starts happening. when my social and (what i consider to be a) “professional” life occasionally touch, I wouldn’t be able to be out everywhere socially without someone I don’t want knowing finding out. So i don’t tell any of my classmates/friends/peers about any of my identities either. I hang out with queer and straight people, never be actively homophobic/ablest, and will be very vague about the two questions i’ve ever received about any of that stuff. It’s very, very exhausting to pretend all the time, every day, especially pretending that I’m cisgender because it’s a tricky game, but I can’t really back down and I’m afraid that I might get bullied again if I was ever open about it with classmates.

A few months ago, I was dating this guy, who i’ll call Kai (17M) Kai is also a transgender man, but does not pass at all and is comfortable with it. He’ll get shit sometimes, but also has essentially no straight friends. I told him I was queer when we became good friends, and then told him I was trans after we started dating. I also told him why I lie about being cishet or neurotypical, and while he didn’t seem happy he didn’t push it at first. I told him that I understood if he didn’t want to be in a secret relationship, but because of where we live and what I want to do I wasn’t comfortable with being out again. He said he still wanted to date me, and claimed he would support me, and we had a pretty good relationship overall.

A month after that, he started bringing it up again. He told me that I was more than my identity, and if people didn’t see me for who I am instead of stereotypes, it isn’t worth talking to them at all. And while I agree with the sentiment, it’d never be possible to just not hear someone if they were harassing me, and while I truely dislike a lot of the authority figures that I engage with, they are in the professional fields I’m interested in, and I’m incredibly lucky for getting where I am so early. Kai also said that since I am well known in our very small school (only 300 kids), being out could be a positive influence on what people think about autistic people or trans people. In a particularly heated fight, he even said I was doing a disservice or betrayal to my community by not representing or being proud of being apart of them publicly.

We broke up pretty soon after, but I think about what he said a lot. I know that I wouldn’t be the only out person at my school, and that my school is actually a lot better compared to most local schools, which are a lot larger and… dramatic, but I just don’t think I could be out without going back to how I used to be mentally. And Kai was right about how I could be a good influence on some of the meaner classmates- I do think some of my peers who I ingenuinely connect with might reconsider their prejudices if they knew I was transgender.

I’m intentionally choosing not to take the opportunity to do better. It wouldn’t ruin ALL my relationships with the authority figures I consider to be important holding, since it would just be my school, It might dampen one or two of them. Plus, I’m lying to pretty much everyone who knows me. They build relationships with a false idea of me, and I feel like an asshole sometimes because I’m not honest.

TLDR: I’m a transgender, autistic guy in a very bigoted community. Everybody thinks i’m cishet and neurotypical. AMITA for not being proud of who I am because of potential social losses, and AMITA for lying to people and giving friends/peers false ideas about who I am even if they would not be friends with me if they knew?

What are these acronyms?

[gor3sigil]

About being a freak, queer, trans etc.

In all the years I've spent going back and forth with my gender, being sure one day and unsure the next about how I wanted to present, if I wanted to be more fem or masc, if I wanted to be neither of them, there's one thing that I never wished: I never wished to be born cis.

There's something so magical in being trans. To me it's like a never ending childlike wonder of myself and others. I see my body as a white canvas I can do anything with and as a playground for me to explore and find secrets at every turn. It's shedding so many times that I had hundreds of silhouettes and I'm not even 30. It's seeing the most deepest and honest smiles when you hang out with your peers, and they're fully themselves and you are fully yourself even if it's just for one moment.

Being trans is being more naked than ever. My understanding of my own flesh at its core like I'm dissecting it once a year is so whole and complete. Noticing the patterns, the intricate map of my skin, how it grows and stretch with every change even well before HRT as I was practicing new poses and expressions and clothes.

I don't see myself as a flower, I see myself as a whole garden, with bees and critters everywhere, bursting with life in the warmth of the sun under a sky as blue as the cleanest seas.

Regarding the way others see me, mind you, I always was, and I mean ALWAYS, all my life, seen as a freak.

Try to picture this, even tnough you maybe can because this is the story of a whole bunch of us: growing up as a goth, queer and undiagnosed autistic girl, in a little shitty town, the last child of a family of disabled and neurodivergent folks that everyone saw as a family of, well, freaks. The teachers at school knew your brother who was bullied, and your sister who always caused troubles. They don’t know which of these paths you’re going to take but they sure as hell don’t like you. And the only other queer kids you know are a couple of girls who’d chugg down vodka before class in middle school because they were not accepted at home and bullied during recess.

My first queer relationship, also in middle school, was the typical “I loved her to the moon and back but she only wanted to experiment” and it tore down my soul. It took me years to recover from this. I think that, apart from my longest relationship to date, I never put that much of myself into someone I loved. But she was just goofing around and I mean, fair, we were kids, but man did it hurt. I resented her for years after. Now I just hope she’s happy and doing the job she always dreamed of doing.

Anyways, all that to say that I was used to being seen as an outcast. I hated that for years and tried and tried again and again to fit in. It doesn’t work. Because this in not the answer. Remember when I said that my family members were always all disabled ? My father espacially was physically disabled (and probably also autistic but undiagnosed), and he’s still to this day one of the most ableist person I’ve ever met. He knew his kids weren’t “normal”. He fought tooth and nails for us to fit in. Because that’s how he survived. But despite it all, it never worked. Because you can’t force your way into society’s standards.

I never felt more free than when I just gave up trying to. If I was going to be seen as weird anyways, might as well go all the way. Dress as I please, date who I wanted (another story for another time but it didn’t go as planned), enjoy the shit I enjoyed, unapologetically. And guess what ? It stopped the bullying. Because I gained confidence in myself and most of all, pride. I grew proud of being an outcast, so much so that people just started to be like “well, they’re like that anyways” and left me the fuck alone.

I’m rambling lmao but I think it’s important to be aware that nobody will live your life for you. Being your weird self, it’s so hard, butn so rewarding. More rewarding than anything. You’ll start making new relationships based on you TRUE self, you’ll go all the way for your passions, and trust me, you’ll be more free than anyone who bent themselves to fit in the mold and still need to painfully stretch their limbs everyday to keep the act on.

I know that sometimes it’s something you have to do to survive, and that’s perfectly okay. But don’t forget to keep your true self close and to let them out from time to time, okay ? Water down your inner garden. That’s the only way you will truly live.

[st-peculiar]

Maxwell hcs to complete my collection

-my biggest one is that she’s trans(!!) When she came out in her late teenage years, her family became very aggressive towards her which led to her getting a restraining order against them. Being accepted into MIT at such an early time was a huge relief for her because it allowed her to be more open about her identity and to acquire the necessary medical treatments and surgeries she needed. Later on when she accepted the job at Goddard, the first person she told about being trans was Kepler, who said something along the lines of that he recruited her for her brain and the rest didn’t matter to him in the grand scheme of things. The autonomy that Kepler gave her made Maxwell trust him greatly, so he was the first to “know” (he already knew, obviously, so the technical first person she told this about to was Jacobi)

-always dehydrated. Girl is is never in a state of bodily harmony

-takes every moment she can to talk about her work. She could be in a gas station at three in the morning and telling the cashier about a recent breakthrough and they’re just nodding along

-this one’s pretty much canon but since she isn’t in contact with her bio family, she always celebrates holidays with Kepler and Jacobi. Most the time it’s going to Kepler’s place for a meal or Jacobi’s for a game or movie night. Kepler rarely goes to game nights though cause he’s a sore loser. Maxwell wins most the time at strategic games and Jacobi gets annoyingly lucky on chance games. Uno and monopoly are banned.

-insomniac. A terrible habit from college that stuck around into her adulthood

-Walmart has pistachio flavored muffins and I think Maxwell would love them. (Personal note: my family just got a pack of them today when they were stocked. I’m thrilled at the prospect of being able to have a pistachio muffin tomorrow.)

-she and Jacobi picked up a lot of each others work as their friendship went on, so Maxwell knows a good bit of demolition work and Jacobi knows an above average amount about the nuances of AI

-on that note, Maxwell also often mimics the people she’s around (you can decide if it’s an autistic thing for her or just a Maxwell thing for yourself). Because she works closely with AI (non-human beings), she uses mimicry as a social mechanism to appear more “friendly” of sorts

-still in contact with her oldest sibling. They were really close as kids and due to the backlash against Maxwell after she came out, they were forced to grow distant and lost contact fully for a couple years. Her sibling eventually found Maxwell again while she was a senior at MIT, and they started to build back up their relationship again since then. Her sibling was the first to know about the new mission for the SI-5 to be sent up to Wolf 359.

-inexplicable love for fig newtons. (I’m projecting sorry. It will happen again)

-round blue light glasses! Just a fun little thought I have about her appearance. Very heavy duty glasses, was made by someone in the engineering sector of Goddard

-her apartment has a lot of mismatched furniture. The chairs at her table are all different, the couple pieces of furniture are all different colors and textures, an excessive amount of lamps, a bookshelf with a lot more than just books on it, and so on.

-her favorite fruit are raspberries

-the only sport she has ever done (and enjoyed) is rollerblading. Idk this is another one that feels right in my heart. It’s real to me

-always wanted to go to Spain. I think she’d have thrived tbh

-she clocked onto Jacobi’s “complicated feelings” for Kepler immediately. Gaydar off the charts. She teased him mercilessly for at least a week.

-all of her biro pens are worn down on the base end because shes subconsciously hitting them on whatever table she’s working at

-the only one out of the SI-5 that enjoys the fortune cookie wafers from the Chinese orders. She always has Jacobi (and Kepler if he’s around at the time) choose one for the fortune and then gives the cookie to her. In addition, she keeps all her own fortune papers in a glass jar in her apartment on the bookshelf. The metal top has a small slit in it so she can just slip the paper in. She has a small scar on one palm from when she was cutting out the piece of metal from the middle.

-speaking of hands, she’s ambidextrous to me. She taught herself how to utilize both hands when she was in elementary school for efficiency sake and it became a very useful skill later on when she was doing primarily computer work.

-learned how to write in multiple forms of shorthand because she was bored. When she’s taking hand written notes, she’ll switch between standard English and shorthand every so often, normally to abbreviate a long train of thought.

I was having some trouble wording this one but there’s some Maxwell hcs to finish off the SI-5 hc chronicles

[count-geiger]

alright guys i got a surprise class cancellation so i can tell yall about the stb dress rehearsal show last night and how it went. this is gonna be a long one grab a drink

no JUICY DEETS if you were expecting that. i am not a leaker and will never be. more like a gushy review than anything

so if you wanna hear about how will wood now knows about my university’s garfield club, feel free to read.

first of all, i can’t actually say much about the content of the show itself. sorry if that’s what you were hoping for but, if you’re going to a show on the tour, YOU WILL THANK ME LATER.

however i can say some stuff

like first of all: it is very much a kind of theatrical performance. no shit sherlock, you may be saying. okay sure but what i mean by that is that it’s not JUST a concert.

it’s very narrative based, that’s the most i’m going to say on it.

additionally, based on stuff ww said after the show while everyone talking feedback and such…

after the tour starts, PLEASE DO NOT POST SPOILERS ON TUMBLR!!! this is the kind of thing you’re going to want to see without any idea going in.

like it’s also very much a comedy show and knowing all the jokes beforehand will kinda ruin it.

so if you wanna post about the show on tumblr after you’ve seen it, maybe like. tag it or something. or put under a cut.

anyways i digress

the show was absolutely fantastic

genuinely the most wonderful i’ve ever seen in my entire life

i laughed my ass off, i cried a little, i thought way too hard about my own life decisions

all the things you’d ever want

it was NOT what i expected it to be. but it was even better than whatever i was expecting

so PLEASE take my word that all of you are going to love it.

okay that train of thought is over anyways

the vending machine at the studio only took ones (LITERALLY FUCK OFF THATS SO DUMB) so i spent most of the show with the driest mouth known to man

i’d had a sprite from said vending machine when i first got there because they also don’t have any water in it (????????) but not even like a whole can it got warm super fast

that’s just a random aside

multiple people complimented both my button down shirt AND the oingo boingo shirt i had underneath

including will’s girlfriend!! who is very pretty and seems very very nice.

she took our phones at the doors and checked our IDs and such and she was fine with the fact that i do not own a piece of ID that confirms my date of birth so that was cool.

the phone pouches we had were handmade by her apparently! they were really cool and she did a great job

anyways

i met will after the show after trying to offer feedback while we were still doing that that and stumbling through my horrific brain fog to say nothing of value because i was terribly sleep deprived!

me and jay (@jayjamjary) went at the same time

now some background.

me and jay are friends IRL, we go to the same college. people who both A. follow me and B. consistently read my ramblings in the tags will know this. but there are like three of those people AND i’m putting tags on this post so yeah

anyways we are both members of the executive board of the (officially recognized) GARFIELD CLUB at our university.

i am dead serious

and because the garfield club’s primary demographic is gay/trans autistic people, there’s a huge population of will wood fans in that club.

so jay brought two excellent drawings he’d made for the club, originally to recruit members, for will to sign.

because we have garfield show and tell contest on wednesday and we wanted to fuckin win

ANYWAYS.

these drawings, by the way, just happened to be of garfield being crucified and of garfield as hatsune miku.

will’s reaction to seeing these drawings was, and i quote, “what the fuck”

his reaction to the existence of the garfield club was, and i quote, “what the fuck”

both like a very amused, bewildered what the fuck.

he then signed them with possibly the greatest thing he’s ever signed ANYTHING and i’ll have to force jay to post them.

anyways

i also showed him a drawing i made for him, because i wanted to make a drawing for him.

he said my drawing was really really cool and he was really happy that i got his nose right because he never sees that

i was SO happy to hear that i was like ready to cry i was scared that drawing sucked

cuz i just did in the course of like a few hours while sitting at a random table in a big room on campus and all that whatever

but like yeah he called his girlfriend over she complimented it too

he signed it!!!

we took a picture and it looked a million times better than the two other pictures i have with him so that’s great

anyways

i’m trying very pointedly to avoid saying anything about the actual show because i want people to be able to go in blind

because *i* did and it was amazing

and i’m so glad that the show i’m going to is going to be super different apparently so i’ll ALSO have no idea what to expect from that

also, for anyone curious, i’m going to asbury park/halloween show november 3rd (and im going as young ford pines, specifically that time in tbob when he was possessed by bill, so if you see that there, that’s me)

anyways

man take shot anytime i say anyways

you’ll be fuckin dead

i had a great night, it was a spectacular show, you’re all gonna love it when you see it

[spiritstar477]

I’m thinking of writing a fic where Sirius gets amnesia (unknown how as of yet) and such. Modern muggle au. I want it to be a pretty chill, happy story with probably not much plot just vibes.

Wolfstar as the main coupling.

These are my character descriptions for our marauders era peeps. Any ideas on any changes or additions to them?

See below the break ⬇️

Also, Sirius isn’t listed bc he doesn’t know who he is bc of the amnesia.

Remus: gay, five years old was attacked by Greyback and cut up, gets tremors on chronic pain now, uses a cane to walk, nerd (will read anything but mostly loves textbooks/educational books), lowkey autistic (you don’t know til you know), always spouting weird facts when he’s uncomfortable, obvi super pining for sirius

James: pansexual, dating Regulus, plays basketball, does one on one with Marlene and they gossip/vent about their day, works out all the time, super smart but a dumbass, actual sunshine with abandonment issues

Regulus: trans (formerly Lyra), bisexual, dating James, nerd (big into learning like remus, he and remus hang out to learn random shit together) plays badminton singles, autistic af, very quiet until he gets comfy then he never shuts up, likes legos (touch and you’ll die)

Peter: aroace, everyone’s bestie, chill and just living his best life, closest with Mary (both just chill but always judging everyone together)

Barty: gay af, dating Evan obvi, graffiti vandal/lowkey arsonist, besties with Pandora, intentionally does stereotypical ‘quiet kid’ stuff just to fuck with his peers, everyone’s afraid of him just how he likes,

Evan: asexual but will ruin Barty sexually (doesn’t get any sexual gratification but enjoys watching Barty squirm and have the best time), collects animal parts in jars and has a ‘bone room’, is that creepy kid, has definitely been to the psych ward before

Lily: lesbian, poly-ish, dating Mary and Pandora, huge chemistry nerd, in the debate club, very popular/friends with nearly everyone

Mary: bisexual, poly-ish, dating Lily and Pandora, very cottagecore, quiet vibes, besties with Peter, vegan/all about saving the planet (but not in a awful way), forgetful and always has a million alarms and reminders on her phone

Marlene: nonbinary they/them, so lesbian they never had to come out, obsessed with gf Dorcas, plays basketball, them and James often do one on one and vent, loves movies and will watch literally anything

Dorcas: lesbian, dating Marlene, most said words are probably “wtf Marlene”, party girl, cheerleader, legit hates men except Reggie but only because they were close before he transitioned and she’d miss him

Pandora: unknown sexuality (always just shrugs when asked), very manic pixie girl vibes, heavy on the manic, sometimes commits arson with bestie Barty, Evan’s unused dead things’ parts are made into fertilizer for her garden (which is impressive btw, mostly flowers but a hidden section of poisonous plants), always has something creepy or downright unsettling to say

Also…

-James is Indian

-Remus is technically white but he does not look it (and it always surprises people), and he’s conveniently unattractive bc I love ugly remus

-Pandora and Evan are black (with naturally white blond hair ofc) and Pandora has vitiligo

-Sirius and Regulus moved from France as children

-Mary is black

-Dorcas is black

It takes place in Canada bc I’m Canadian and I know fuck all about European anything and am too lazy to do research.

[somenerdfromwhatever]

Dear Parents who think disowning their kids are cool

Hi. Apparently I still have this. It’s cool, I’m going to use it for my long thought pieces anyway. Regarding recent events in the LGBT community scene, namely Vivian, a trans-girl going against her dad, Elon Musk himself, I reflected a lot on a question I asked onto Reddit recently (I know I know Reddit sucks but it got me thinking):

Why are some parents so okay with disowning trans kids when they gave birth to them?

This is a pretty tough question with some pretty rough answers, but after seeing the shit I saw last week and now, something has to be said on the matter. Content warning because we're dealing with heavy hitting topics like abandonment, and family drama. Also content warning for what I am about to present because, well, I'm pissed.

It is no secret why I bought the Vivian and Elon Musk thing up to tackle this question as having a billionaire shit talk their own kin that they gave birth to is sickening and inhumane. Heck even before his venture into buying Twitter, he was constantly berating her for just being her own genuine self. Heck in her thread on Threads, her father was a massive deadbeat to her. Unsupportive and hostile who wasn’t there in her life all because her crime was being herself. It’s sad isn’t it? This is one of the most wealthiest humans on the planet mind you, the guy that can end world hunger, have massive funds to pool into medical care to accelerate a cure to cancers, but instead he chooses to defame, harass, and downright abuse his own child for being their true self. And given the recent lights of Elon being a dead beat, I also say in my opinion, he just left her to die. He bought Twitter under the guise of fighting censorship, but yet only to impose his own narrow worldview on others to fuel his slander to his own kin. This hypocrisy is disturbing given recent events as he was fighting for the very thing he fought against.

It’s not just the LGBT community, does anyone else remember that mom from an Autism Speaks documentary about how she wanted to commit a murder-suicide on her daughter just for being autistic? Her name was Alison Singer. A name all too well in the community when discussing neurodiversity and programs that don’t speak for us. You also have the case of Kelli Stapleton who ACTUALLY DID IT.

You also have parents like the ones from Toddlers and Tiaras, where Carly developed a spilt personality disorder thanks to their own MOM because Carly loathed being forced into competitions. Heck I even grew up with the whole DaddyOFive situation where Mike abused Cody. So now the question becomes this:

Why are parents willing to disown their children for being who they are? And regardless of their differences, why would they do that when they are the ones who gave them the life to live on this planet?

And with the rise of LGBT hate, disability hate, it seems like every difference a human makes can make a parents cut ties with them in a heartbeat. With no answer in sight, I might as well make one.

Now, look. What I’m going to address next is harsh, but it’s a reality that every parent needs to accept.

If you are pregnant, and you gave birth to a kid, as newfound parents, that child you are holding in your hand is not your property. They are their own soul, and you better let them be their own soul. They have one life to live on this planet, make their moments count. If you toss them aside, berate them, and even disown because you can't handle differing ideologies, interests, etc. don't call yourself a parent. A parent by definition is being there for your children. A parent who tosses them aside over them being different no matter how or what isn’t a parent at all. And parents who disown them, and kick them out... well. I consider them brain-dead murderers, as they are tossing their kin out to die in society. Yep, I'm going there. Parents who disown and kick their kids out to fend for themselves in society (which they all die too sadly) are murderers.

So what if they express their identity?! So what if they have disabilities they grew up with?! So what?! You still gave birth to them! You lead and support them! And YOU need to give your next of kin independency and not turn them into a slave you can mold in YOUR IMAGE.

This is the TRUE PRO-LIFE STANCE. The actual truth to being PRO-LIFE. To be PRO-LIFE, you have to be PRO-CHOICE as the truth about PRO-CHOICE is letting a human appreciate how they want to live their life and appreciating their own say on the matter. To put it in words that are easier to understand, I inputted this mombo jumbo into GPT to explain it in Caveman:

To support life, you must let people choose how they live. Respect their choice and let them decide. That is true PRO-LIFE.

How is that a hard concept to understand? Like seriously? My parents support my career path to becoming involved heavily in post-production! Heck I'm still on that goal and still dreaming on working on my favorite show on Netflix, Wednesday! They were surprised back when I was a pre-teen about to be heading to high school for this to happen! I was a kid who loves to hold camcorders, a kid who edited a YouTube Poop which landed me into a one-day suspension from school, and a kid who loved making these every day. My parents accepted me for who I was especially since I grew up with autism and it was a new thing TO THEM. Heck even with my Wednesday video gaining traction, my Mom accepted me for being non-binary! So you tell me then, answer me the following: Do you think for just a second that you're doing the right thing by throwing kids like us out? Do you think you're justified in abandoning your own flesh and blood just because they don't fit into your narrow-minded ideals? Newsflash: you're not. You're failing at the most basic level of parenthood. You brought a life into this world; you don't get to just walk away when things get tough or when your child's identity challenges your beliefs. I never watched the Saw movies, but I do seen the complexities of the character John Kramer, the infamous Jigsaw killer. Say what you want, but is he wrong about how we should appreciate life?

To appreciate life, it's means to value all life. All HUMAN life, including the individuality and identity of the next generation. Whether it's your kid you birthed, or a kid passing by, the fact is they are their own soul. You don't control other people's souls, you have to appreciate their own life by their own choices. It's this freedom to be themselves. Letting children grow into their true selves.

Parents, your role if you birth a kid is so straightforward it is astounding how you ignore this.

This isn't about you. I've been on this planet for 25 years now. 25 years. We get it, parenting is hard. My parents had to adapt with my autistic video making non-binary self. They supported everything that I do. You chose to bring a child into this world. You owe them love, support, and acceptance UNCONDITIONALLY. Anything less is a failure on your part, not theirs, YOURS. Disowning your child is the ultimate act that makes you no different then a murderer who kills people just for being different. It's choosing your comfort over their happiness. I would never leave any next generation of mine out to die, and I will accept who they are no matter what they are regardless of interest, disabilities, and identity. I also find it hilarious when this happens, they happened to label them as groomers. Last I checked, the definition of it on every dictionary is "to make (someone) ready for a specific objective". (Verb Definition 3a on Webster's Dictionary for example) Sure it has been co-opted with the abusive nature, but the original definition set is stone is forcing someone onto a specific act. So if you disown a kid for not conforming to your standards on the basis of identity or something else, remember that you, in fact, are the one trying to "groom" them into your image. And if your kid is LGBT, well, that is telling on yourself at this rate, because under this logic and definition that's been there since the dawn of time... you, the parent who disowned them, are the real groomers here and the kids you raised are doing as you said, protecting themselves from groomers like you. You excuse and shift blame onto other people when you are the living definition of it raising your kid in your own image instead of living their own lives. And yes. I fucking said it. It deserves to be said. I stand by this notion.

In this current climate, where LGBT hate is on the rise and intolerance is being amplified by those in power, it's more crucial than ever for parents to stand up and protect their children. And if you are a kid and your parents are like this, abusing you, grooming you into their own perfect image, call them out, because this toxic generational trauma has to end. The world is already a harsh and dangerous place for anyone who doesn't fit into the so-called 'norm.' Take it from me, a neurodivergent who has to mask just to get through. Imagine how much worse it becomes when the very people who are supposed to love and protect you turn their backs on you. Oh to all those deadbeat parents I mentioned, Mike Martin (DaddyOFive), Elon Musk, Kelli Stapleton, Alison Singer, and others. Yeah they are hitmakers, advocates, and superstars in their minds, but to end it with a familiar Kendrick Lamar lyric, they are "fucking deadbeat that should never say more life."

I hope you read that Kendrick Lamar lyric well, because if you disown your kids just for being who they are, you shouldn’t say you’re “for the kids”.

I beg you parents of old and new, please take these words seriously. No kid would ever want a parent like that.

Good night.

[frozenjokes]

i continued being unable to sleep so i continued shoving as much of your writing into my brain as possible, by which i mean i just read alllll of the mumbomaid au pretty much at once and am being Normal about it

i love them all, i love all of them so much, i'm very invested in their shenanigans, i love how almost nobody understands gender and they all misunderstand it differently

i am ALSO aro in the "no i don't have feelings for anybody, yes i would date basically any of my friends" way and everything surrounding scar's aromanticism is so well done, i kept being soo exasperated with grian and the like. the incredibly allo misunderstanding of aromanticism, and not listening when scar and cleo try to tell him he doesn't get it, i have friends i've had almost those exact conversations with (but slightly less messy because of varyious factors including but not limited to Not Being Desert Duo, Thank Fuck) just ajfhdjdhjshdjfsk

also also i love textbook monsterfucker scar and i'm convinced bdubs thinks etho grew up in a cult or some shit (i'm throwing words at this ask box like spaghetti)

anyway uh. i'm probably gonna keep wanting to say words about your fics as i keep reading them and the ao3 comment section scares me so. i will probably be back, feel free to tell me to buzz off if this is not a preferred communication method

-guy that said mapleshade=p!scar (maplescar? scarpleshade? there's gotta be something here, did i mention the sleep deprivation sorry if this is all insane rambling lmao)

maplescar is a really cool tortie kitty name I like that a lot. maplescar would go crazy. ALSO PLEASE KEEP SAYING WORDS!!!!! say words FORWVER!!!! spam my ao3 comments and I will respond to them 9/10 ten times!!!!!!! I love talking I love when people talk to me THANK YOU!!!!!! you could send me an ask every single time you finish a chapter and I would kiss you on the lips each time but my followers might be killing you with hammers so. Pick your poison.

yeah my favorite part of mumbomaid is that no one knows what a gender is and they misunderstand in all different ways you put it 100% perfectly. I also find Grian to be frustrating but he’s also a vessel to explore More Feelings and in his defense a little outside of complicated aro/allo interactions scar is a bit of an asshole. They are both assholes. Two guys they Will have their cake and they Will eat it too and they are exploding because of it. I too thank god every day I am not desert duo I! hate them. Generally though I do not feel bitter about allo misunderstandings of aromanticism because I spent 21 years of my life also not understanding. Which. Is the fault of a normative society. However. It is deeply difficult to understand the internal experience of someone who functions differently than you on a chemical level. This is a bit of a tangent but my mom and I’s ability to communicate has been drastically improved by the acceptance that I am autistic. She sees me and we reflect on my life together and it makes Sense that the way I experience the world is Different so whenever we talk about something my mom doesn’t understand in relation to me her mind is so open because she knows my perception of the world is not the same as hers. neurodivergence isn’t entirely related to queerness but it has genuinely opened up so many doors for our communication. she goes aromantic? oh yeah that makes sense. I think she catalogs it with the autism which is correct because to me autism and Every Other Way I Experience The World is related. This is say I have a very amusing experience with one of my trans friends where he was like: …so you’ve never questioned your gender,,, like…. Ever..? and I said nope. and he like couldn’t believe me. He did obviously but it’s the idea that our experiences are so integral to the people we are that it’s extremely difficult to imagine it any other way. can you tell I’m a psych major yet. what was I talking about.

I haven’t thought of exactly what bdubs thinks about etho’s past but it’s probably something like that. Deep down, it doesn’t really matter. Bdubs just wants to protect him. He’s so worried, but he just wants etho to feel safe.

lightly suggestive under the cut bc I talk about the monster fucking a little bit and I don’t know your age/if my elaboration is unwarranted I’m just talking. I’m here for a silly time not a sexy one.

monsterfucker scar is dear to me. extremely important. Grian will never be able to do to him the, frankly, deranged things he fantasizes about. they can try but the mood is going to be ruined when scar is like :( your tentacle dick isn’t real. and Grian is going to sigh with his dumbfuck strap and the blue curtains and lights they hung up to make it look like they were underwater. Their entire experience in the bedroom is going to be a series of extremely comedic extremely unfortunate events to make up for the fact that scar is never getting any fish pussy 😔 scar will be put off the mood because Grian just isn’t Convicning enough like COME ON if I don’t believe I’m going to die THEN what’s THE POINT??????? their home life is just increasingly deranged. grian has accepted that he will never be able to compete with the horrors of the ocean and you may think that’s a ‘but he’s still a little jealous though..’ but he’s not. He’s accepted it. Full acceptance. The kind of worn down you get from fishing for a mending book for weeks on end but without the agony and more just. Amused. goodtimeswithscar is going to die young and by drowning but you’d better believe he’ll do it in ecstasy.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi everyone,

I found a very disheartening article about an 11 year old boy being handcuffed and put into a patrol car after he had an incident in one of his classes. According to the article:

The Douglas County school district and sheriff’s office have resolved a lawsuit with a local family and agreed to safety improvements for students with special needs.

The ACLU of Colorado filed a lawsuit against the Douglas County School District, Douglas County Sheriff’s Office and specific school resource officers in 2021 on behalf of an 11-year-old boy with autism.

The boy was handcuffed and left in a patrol car for hours after an incident with another student. There is police body camera video showing how the 11-year-old was handled.

“He unfortunately harmed himself in the back of the car, becoming so dysregulated based on what had happened to him. He was also then taken to a juvenile center, and his parents had to bond him out for $2,500,” said Sara Neel, an ACLU attorney.

The full article will be below.

This is just unnecessary. I get that some autistic people, and people in general, can have issues with emotional responses and aggression. I’m not sure if this incident was caused by said behavior, but handcuffing a kid is going a bit too far. They should’ve tried to talk to him and figure out why this happened, not handcuff and throw him in a patrol car. (Not literally throwing).

This is just another example of how autistic kids are treated by an authority figure.

In one article I posted, a boy was kicked out of a theater because he went to the bathroom with his mom. The person running the theater was very disrespectful and even had the audacity to be transphobic at the end when he said the bathrooms aren’t meant for trans people.

The boy was only going to the bathroom with his mom, who mentioned that he needed help when going to the bathroom. The other women in the room seemed understanding and didn’t say a word. I wish the guy running the theater would be more understanding. He was just rude and very disrespectful.

I found the article if you want to read through it.

Anyway, I just wanted to talk about an article I found today that made me a bit upset and angry. I hope those of you who celebrate thanksgiving are having a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[favcharacterpoll]

ROUND 5 MATCH 5: RAZ VS. CECIL

Razputin Aquato from Psychonauts 2 faces Cecil Palmer from Welcome to Night Vale. Who do you like more?

Raz Propaganda:

"autism"

"I'm literally trans and stole this man's name that's enough propaganda in my opinion"

"vote raz NOW he's my special little son who's suffered more than jesus he is literally autistic and transgender."

"RAZ MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE PSYCHIC ACROBAT CHILD WITH A DEEP KINDNESS SASS AND MILD PYROMANIA HOW I ADORE THEE"

"RAZ NEEDS LOVE HE'S OUT THERE IN THE FIELDS THERAPYING YOUR DADDY ISSUES WITH EMPATHY AND KINDNESS"

"RAZ FIGHTS GENERATIONAL TRAUMA INCARNATE DESPITE BEING NEURODIVERGENT A MINOR AND TRANS"

Cecil Propaganda:

"Cecil is not only the Tumblr sexyman, he is the first gay protagonist of a podcast that most of us have ever heard. From the very first episode he was unashamedly queer and no one has ever called him out or given him shit for being gay. He is a gay Jewish fashion disaster who is the mouthpiece for an incredibly bizarre town and plays the whole “this horrifying thing is completely normal”thing so well. If Cecil wasn’t there, I think a lot of people wouldn’t have felt so accepted for just being who they were. Cecil is an inspiration and the queer podcast rep we all deserved as we were growing."

"he’s gay. he’s a dilf. he’s ageless. he has been since there’s was nothing and he’s still here after the world ended. he can summon music. his mother is a oracle his father is a tree. his cat is a man who got cursed and also has wings a stinger and poison??? he thinks a tutu and crocs is formal wear and has talked to god and she said ‘I love you. I’m sorry’. he’s definitely guilty of manslaughter from negligence"

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for kicking someone from my server and not explaining why?

(emojis so I can find later: 🪨🪨🪨)

[This happened a few years ago, but I’ll write the ages as they were at the time.]

I (14M) made a server for a fandom I was in. It was a small fandom (I was mutuals with every single fan on tumblr) so I thought it’d be nice to have a place we can all talk other than the tumblr dashboard. This was also not my first server — I had 2 or 3 years of experience running them (having run a server with 100ish members a year or two beforehand) so I was fully confident in my ability to run a server with less than 20 people, especially since everyone knew each other and was friends already.

Now, there was this person in the server, we’ll call her B (16F). I wasn’t super close with her, but ofc I was friends with her through the fandom. We didn’t talk much — the only time I can recall us speaking outside of discord was to send fandom art requests to each other. Obviously I didn’t have a problem with her coming in, but as she spoke more in my server, I started to question whether she was somebody I wanted hanging around.

I won’t go into full depth of things she said or did (both for privacy’s sake and to keep things brief), but I’ll explain my biggest reasons for kicking her.

First, she vented a lot, which typically I wouldn’t judge, but I really didn’t want a fandom server associated with so much negativity — and not only that, but the way she vented was very… I mean, we would be telling her things she did wrong in general channels, and then she would go to the vent channel and say things like “I’m sorry I’m so stupid and such a bad person I didn’t know what I was doing wrong.” and then we’d (well, everybody else — I don’t play these games with people) all have to console her. Not only that, but she’d vent about shit like — “I’m such a bad person because I’m cis. I’m sorry for being cis.” In a server full of trans people.

Second was her ableism towards autistic people, in a server also full of autistic people (This is honestly the biggest thing I had against her). Since most of us were autistic, we headcanoned most (if not all) of the characters in the series as autistic, usually with little basis in canon. One person specifically said “I think X character is autistic” and most people agreed, until she came along and said “No, they’re too normal.” We were all kind of like “???” until somebody said “Autistic people are normal” and she said “No, they’re all learning disabled” and some other stuff I don’t remember off the top of my head. (Obviously nothing wrong with having learning disabilities and many autistic people do have them etc, it’s just the way she went about saying what she said — and also disagreeing with a harmless headcanon because a character was too “normal” to be autistic). Again, most of us are autistic and were offended by what she said.

These were the two biggest contributors as to why I kicked her from my server — there were more (usually smaller) things she did that made people uncomfortable or pissed me off, but again, I’m not going to mention everything.

So, I silently kicked her, not wanting to cause too much drama, but also fed up with her behavior. I think I also softblocked her on tumblr, not wanting us to be mutuals or friends anymore but also not seeing a block as necessary (I didn’t mind if she saw my fandom posts in the tag, for example). However, she ended up following me back and sent me an ask asking why she was kicked from the server. I believe I told her “I don’t owe you an explanation, I just didn’t want you there anymore”. I didn’t want to say “you did this, this, and this” and just have her say “I didn’t do that/That wasn’t a big deal” and turn it into an entire argument, you know? I also just didn’t want to talk to her at all. So after answering, I softblocked her again and she sent me a long rant calling me a bitch, to which I simply hardblocked her.

I’m pretty sure I was justified in kicking her from my server, but I’m not sure if I’m justified in not telling her why — I understand being confused and demanding an answer but I also know she’d been told off multiple times — and I still don’t think she’s owed a response. Maybe if we were closer friends, I would have explained why. But I don’t know. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?