#also I feel this I needed some reminders why I loved them too

[metamorphesque]

Short Story: "Why do flowers die so soon?", Vardges Petrosyan

(translated from Armenian by Tathev Simonyan)

…I remember the last days of my life, which were unlike any that had come before. To the world, I seemed so happy: I had brothers, a sister, a family, a child who was a bell and a brook’s murmur. What else could one need for happiness? And yet, something was missing, for I was not happy. And then, out of nowhere, she poured into my life.

Has it ever happened that, on a hot summer day, while you’re standing there, dazed by the sun and dreams, someone playfully poured cold water on your neck? At first, you might startle, maybe even scold the one who did it, but then you suddenly feel that’s exactly what you’d been standing in the sun for, perhaps you’d been standing your whole life just for that.

That’s how she poured into my life—wild and astounding, asking for nothing, careless as could be. Now I can’t even recall if she was beautiful. In her eyes, there was an inquisitive sadness, a sliver of sky, and a bit of rustling. It felt as though those eyes were always gazing at life, asking, “Why...?” She came uninvited, wrapped herself around my days like a grapevine curling up its wooden stakes, offering me all the clusters of her youth—everything she had. And she asked for nothing. Nothing at all. Until the very end, I couldn’t convince her that I loved her too. Perhaps I didn’t truly believe it then, for I kept reminding myself every moment: I have no right to love her. And maybe that’s why, when she laid her whole life at my feet, I kept glancing at my watch; she brought me the full nakedness of her youth, while I closed the curtains and turned off the light. I never went out in public with her, and the world never found out that I was finally happy. Our love was akin to a fire we tried to cover with our hands, though the flame was scorching and uncontainable.

I’m afraid my beginning is dragging on too long.

I was ill before I died. All day long, my mother, my brothers, and my wife—sorrowful and pale—remained by my side, though in those last days, we no longer understood or recognized one another. Only she was missing, the one I waited for and loved most. She couldn’t come to our house. My brothers knew I would die; the doctor had told them so. They believed it, perhaps even expected it—sad and resigned. Only my mother didn’t believe it, though not because she was unaware of what the doctor had said…

Perhaps it’s best if I tell you about my last day. By then, I already knew I would die that very day. That’s why I wanted to laugh when the doctor tried to give me an injection, examined my stomach, and then prescribed some medicine: “Give him this twice a day for a week.” I didn’t blame him—this calm, warm-handed man; he just didn’t understand me, and no doctor understands that people only die when they’re truly exhausted. Someone might grow tired at eighteen, and another at seventy. I was tired. But I wasn’t sad. My bookshelf was in front of me, though I didn’t think about the fact that my fingers would no longer touch those books. I knew that other fingers would, and for books, it makes no difference. Books are a bit like gossipers—they reveal their secrets to anyone, so I knew that they’d share them with someone else, too. With sadness I only looked at the acacia tree rustling below my window and at the sky in the distance. I wished I could take with me, to that place beneath the ground, just a bit of that rustling and a sliver of sky. But I knew it was impossible.

“I’ll go grab some cigarettes,” I suddenly heard my older brother say, even though I knew he didn’t smoke. He was either heading out to send a telegram to our relatives or he simply didn’t want to see me pass. I understood and said goodbye with a glance, knowing we would never meet again in this world. He left. I asked my wife to take our child outside for some fresh air. “I’ll take him,” she replied, not realizing she’d never hear my voice again. I also said something to my mother, but she didn’t leave. This saddened me deeply, and I slowly closed my eyes. I don’t know how much time passed, only that I suddenly heard my mother’s gut-wrenching scream and knew I had already died. Through my closed eyelids, I saw everyone come rushing in, saw them carry my mother out—the first to sense my death, though the only one who hadn’t believed it was near.

After that, everything unfolded as it always does.

For two days, people gathered around me, and I saw many familiar faces I hadn’t seen in years. They cried or stood somber and silent, then left. Sometimes, those sounds or that silence wore me out, and I wanted to ask them to talk or be quiet. But there was such calm within me that I didn’t dare to open my eyes. With a strange sense of wonder I began to observe people—many of whom I thought I knew well. Not knowing I was watching, they felt no need to pretend. I recalled what I used to think of them when I was alive, and, truthfully, at times, I felt embarrassed by those old thoughts and judgments. But that wasn’t what preoccupied me the most; every day, I searched for the one who never came. I knew she couldn’t simply come and stand quietly by my side like the others. I knew that as soon as she entered, everyone would know. My heart ached with longing; I missed her deeply, even thought of asking my mother to call her, but I was too worn out to open my eyes. I was so tired, and for the first time, I could think of her in peace, knowing no one would interrupt—not with a phone call, nor a glance, nor love, nor hate. I thought of her even when they carried me down my street, the street where I’d grown up, loved, and grown weary.

The street was full of sunlight, but for the first time, I didn’t feel hot; instead, I wanted even more of the sun, bigger and warmer. I looked at my street: trams, cars, people stood with a kind of sadness that wore my heart out. I didn’t want to be the reason behind anyone’s sadness; thus, I didn’t feel bad at all when I saw a boy and girl under a tree, holding hands and smiling into each other’s eyes. At first, I thought they hadn’t noticed the procession, but then the girl looked directly at me and smiled again. The boy looked too, with kind and happy eyes. I wanted to smile back, maybe even wave, but I was too tired, and besides, if I lifted my hand, the flowers would fall.

Then we walked into the cemetery, and that’s when I saw her. I saw her and smiled—or rather, that smile had been there on my face the whole time because I’d been thinking of her in my final moments. For two days, through my closed eyelids, I saw that no one understood that smile; some even looked at it strangely and confused. But at the graveside, she understood; I even saw her smile back at me. Then her figure was obscured from my view by my relatives, my loved ones, and I remembered our last night together…

We were walking through the darkness. Only in darkness could we love each other freely in the open world, which is why we despised not just electric lights but even the stars when they shone too brightly. We were walking through the dark, and she wanted me to say that she was the one I loved most in the world. I was silent, perhaps already sensing that I was too tired of keeping that sentence unsaid, one I longed to cry out through all the speakers of the world. I was tired—tired of this darkness, of the lights, of everything—yet she waited. And later, under the ground, I deeply regretted that I hadn’t said those words meant only for her, belonging only to her, but it was already too late.

As I reminisced about our last night together, they started to lower me into the ground. I caught a final glimpse of her between my relatives' feet and heard her gaze. "Should I come with you?" she asked. "Should I?" That’s how I used to hear her voice through the receiver back then. In that final moment, I realized that if I just nodded, she would come, but she was only twenty-one, so I replied, "Stay." She heard my gaze, heard silently, just as she always had. Soon, she was obscured from view, and I realized I was already beneath the ground. After that, I heard the familiar sounds of stones and soil. And then, nothing more; only the thick fragrance of flowers lingered, frozen between me and the earth, then, thinking of her, I grew numb: I tried to recall the date and the day, but could only keep track of the calendar for a week or two.

Thus, days turned into months, and perhaps years went by. And I remember the words I never said to her, to the world, which is why I began to murmur this belated confession from beneath the earth. I began to exist through those unsaid words. Each day, I tried to remember how long our love lasted. A few... months? days? years?…

One day, I looked up and saw the sky once more; they had torn down our cemetery and replaced it with a garden of grasses and flowers. I had become a flower. I looked around in excitement, eager to find her and give her the words that were meant for her, belonged only to her... But she was not there; all around me were unfamiliar flowers that I did not recognize. I realized I must have been beneath the earth for perhaps an entire century, and she, too, might now be a flower, a blade of grass, or a handful of grain—who knows where in all the fields of the world... I was ready to search the globe for her, but I was just a flower, and I died as soon as I tried to lift my feet from the soil. I died for the last time. When I once more turned into soil, only then did I understand why flowers die so soon: all flowers might once have been people who rose from the earth in search of that someone, only to not find them and wither away, dying one last time. I realized that nothing in this world can be found twice, and I longed to cry out with all my floral voice, “Don’t let go, people, don’t lose what you have!”

[clubsmarties]

"A lot of mishaps," he laughed, licking his lips after that small make out. The green apple aftertaste leaving traces on his lips. He would have thought she'd be a cherry type of girl but no even with chapstick she managed to surprise him. "M&M I call her that, she loves to be read stories. That's what we do every Friday night. It's why I only have that one class on Friday to make sure I've done my homework when I call her." He shrugged thinking by now he should be used to not having a home. He never had one before the Phillips scooped him up. "It's okay. I'm used to it. Maybe one day I'll find home." Eli's smile widened at the thought of getting stories of her. "I'll take it. Embarrassing? I highly doubt that. Any and all stories about you I'll be glad to hear."

"You're more than dust. You have a glow just some people can't see it. It's on them not on you." He gently squeezed her hand and smiled. "And that's enough. Always will be." Just because her mom didn't see her like that didn't mean she wasn't special. "Good. After all you can't dim your light for others. Not fair to you." Cooking and having a knack to learn seemed like a good combo. "Sounds like we're a match in kitchen heaven."

He couldn't help but smiled amused. "Carry a portable fan with you at all times. That way I don't have to be too far away from you. I know. It wasn't the brightest idea to move here but I also think it lead me to you. I am not sure if I believe in that but also not really a coincidence we met before we actually met. It was like," he thought about it. "A string pulling me toward you. Have you ever felt that?" Nodding his head he didn't think she'd take him up on it so quick but was glad she had. "Winter break coming up. Let's do it. I'm sure my sisters will love to join if you're okay with that. I need to see if they can come or one will be missing. Not sure Isa and hia schedule." He had to think hard on if he did go anywhere he had wanted to. "No. We stayed local or if we felt really adventurous we went to Colorado. But bucket list items for sure. Brazil? That is cool. That reminds me of one I forgot. Panama." He bumped into her and gave her a look. "Neither am I very good at sharing."

Eli turned around and sighed trying to find his sweater he hadn't worn in the week. Once he did he took it out and found bottoms that would fit her. Last time Inez bought him pants they were a little too tight so now they seemed like they'd fit Laurel. "Here, get comfortable. You can't stand or sit on the floor. You're my guest. I insist." His black striped hoodie was the one he gave her and handed her the bottoms. "These should fit you. I have an extra toothbrush in the drawer in the bathroom so feel free to use that. I promise it's brand new." Now he was thankful the Phillips siblings gave him so much in their care package. "If you need anything else let me know."

Cloud nine was too low for the blissful feeling she was experiencing as he returned her kiss. Laurel hoped, but didn't expect. Feeling him so close to her, well, it was impossible to melt while in his arms. "Clearly many talents," she agreed breathlessly, happily remaining in the daze he left her when he pulled away. Her knees felt weak, and she couldn't be more thankful for the seat she was on. There was no denying, she had fallen for him. It was a thing, right? Love at first dance? "The baby whisperer," the title made her laugh, picturing him as the ultimate babysitter. "Oh that sounds so cute, watching her grow up. You probably have some really good stories from your babysitting days. I can see why she's so close to you, big brother duties." Laurel rested her chin on her palm, listening to him talk more about Chicago. "I'm sorry to hear that, losing a home is not easy." Optimism wasn't her forte, despite the positivity she was trying to display, so she was familiar with his sentiment. It just saddened her that he didn't feel connected to a home, the sadness only increasing with his comment on his parents. Is that what led him here? "Maybe this place helps you find some hint or some direction to a new home. You still have a long time." After all, they were still so young. So much could happen, right? Wasn't that the world's big promise - adventure and twists/turns to find their place? "I know they'd love to meet you, hm I don't know about those stories though." Still, a resigned sigh followed. "They'll be eager to share the most embarrassing stories about me."

She had called herself an open book, so Laurel meant to deliver, even in the topics she tried avoiding. Her big one? Her family life. It often led to some variation of, that's family, you need to understand. The warmth from his hand soothed the turmoil she began to feel with the topic, like settling a storm that hadn't even begun. It was nice to hear otherwise for a change. "She's just...particular about what she wanted. You see past the dust then?" His reassurance brought a smile to her face, "careful what you wish for, but don't worry. I've been learning to be myself, promise." It helped to be in a new place with her dad, no more nagging in her ear. "You like to learn, and I like a challenge, hm...we'll be a good pair. We will add cooking to the list, finding a new recipe, and hope we don't burn the place down."

She was glad that he agreed, because it was the simple truth. It felt like a cliche to say that from the moment she saw him, but things really had not been the same since she spoke to him. "Good, consider it your new nickname. Pretty green eyes," how easily it flowed. "It could be, don't be surprised if I call you that in the middle of class." Or the middle of campus, that'd be funny. Would it embarrass him though? "You picked one hell of a state then." Not that she was complaining, Laurel probably wouldn't have met him otherwise. "Heatwaves are the standard here, but good to know you get irritable. I'll have to keep you near an a.c. unit."

Her eyes seemed to brighten just a smidge more, filled with excitement. "Really?" Laurel was basically a kid at Christmas. "I'd really like that. You can show me what I've been missing. We should totally plan it!" The thought had momentarily crossed her mind, thinking holiday plans and wanting to make the cabin idea happen for him, just to see him smile. Getting carried away was in her nature. But, him suggesting it? Well, that gave her free rein. "Have you visited any of them, or have a list of top three you'd like to visit? I'd like to spend any day with you, outside or inside. So, sign me up for this nature tour." She nodded without hesitation, confirmation was sitting right in front of her. "Nerdy is hot, absolutely. Sharing," she hummed in thought, even if the answer was already at the tip of her tongue. "No, I'm not a fan of sharing at all. Hope that's okay."

"Tell you what, you come over to my place. Well, my dad's place. We do that cooking lesson, and I can bring those pom poms out of retirement to see if the clap clap cheers stuck." Her voice was laced with amusement, using the words he used earlier. "I'm intrigued to hear these ideas you're thinking of. That would be great, company is really all I want, but I do love fun facts." Taking her hand shouldn't surprise her, but it still sent a light jolt of electricity through her. Laurel loved it though, how things flowed between them with barely any awkwardness. She felt like she had known him for ages, and not just weeks. "Green is a good one, might be becoming my favorite color too. Wow, you know all the good places. Madrid seems like a fun spot, and food..oh my god, probably so good. Me? I have a whole list of places, but top would be Brazil or Japan. Brazil for their carnival, but it also just looks so beautiful." She stepped into his room, offering him a smile as she looked around. "Thank you, I'll be alright." Couldn't get that cold, right? "Okay, I'll be here," she teased, knowing there was no intention to leave.

"Comfy looks good on you." No outside clothes. Well, Laurel was out of luck there. She was not exactly carrying an extra pair of pajamas in her backpack. "Makes sense, I'll just avoid your bed then. And, now I know the outside clothes thing, for future reference."

[lover-of-mine]

what are your thoughts on nde for either eddie or buck in 8x08? me personally, im thinking buck is gonna get the nde, and i think he’s gonna be shot. tim recreating s4/5 when he originally wanted to do buddie, but what im thinking, is buck realizes his feelings for eddie but doesn’t want to/doesn’t know if he should tell him, then he gets shot and it’s all dramatic and eddie is there and freaking out, trying to save him and keep him alive (aka why they’re pushing medic eddie so much this season) and buck realizes this might be his last chance so he just goes for it anyway and while he’s bleeding out he tells eddie he loves him😭 i know this is probably not what’s gonna happen but lol i just enjoy theories and i always love to hear what you think!

adding onto this, i ALSO saw around twitter the theory that buck would get a nde, but he gets hit by a car or just in a car accident in general, and eddie is there and it parallels shannon’s death (obviously buck doesn’t die but you get the memo😆)

Hi, darling! Okay, I don't mean to shit on anyone's specs, but I think either of them getting shot again would be so uninspired. The show is slowly reintroducing new ways to pull the triggers they put down for buddie because they need to address the stuff that happened to them somehow, but a direct mirrored parallel to the shooting wouldn't work as well as everyone seems to think it would. Partially because I think that forcing Buck to confess because he (or Eddie) is dying is yet another way to take away Buck's agency and further attach Buck to the idea he's only worthy of love when someone bleeds. But also because putting one of them in the position to be doing the saving again won't really further their storyline. Eddie watched Buck in a nde twice, the bombing and the lightning, and Buck watched Eddie in a nde twice, the well and the shooting, and I think they need a combined trigger, aka a combined nde.

I am attached to my drown Buck theory, have them off duty, crash the car, end up trapped and the car filling with water, but I also think that the trapped dads theory also works a lot here, especially if you put them both in the situation while off duty, aka without gear or backup, and you can play with a lot of elements of every nde before that and create a catalyst for them to talk and figure themselves out. I also think everyone is getting ahead of themselves, I don't think they are in the place to get that catalyst yet, and 2 episodes are not enough to get them there when we are talking about an ensemble show. I feel like people are expecting a direct callback because we got a well callback and are getting a lightning callback, but while buddie was front and center during the well callback, they actually used it to further Chim at first. It works to get the audience thinking about different aspects of their past, which in turn makes it so that when they talk about it, it will be in our minds, but it doesn't explicitly address the implications with buddie. I think the lightning callback will be a lot about reminding Buck of whatever it was that he was supposed to learn with it the first time around that they never truly explored due to the network switch and Natalia not coming back. I also think that confronting the situation where Buck almost died and possibly watching a freshly heartbroken Buck be impulsive can push Eddie to look at some stuff that would push him into action to figure himself out.

Especially if @stagefoureddiediaz ends up right and the lightning callback ends up being a truck bombing callback too since the well callback is also a subtle callback to the kids on the cliff call in 304 and could be played into different directions when it comes to what comes out from it moving forward. Buddie has a lot to talk about, but they need a reason to think about the stuff they need to talk about on their own before getting to a point where they can actually have those conversations. I think they rely too much on how well they understand each other that they fail to consider the way they can't actually read each other's minds, and figuring that part out is important before pushing them to the catalyst. And please don't get me wrong, I'm like, 90% sure that the catalyst will be another nde, I just don't think it's gonna happen until 8b.

[justchillandshipit]

Allow me to take a moment here. Tim just acknowledged couch theory?

Moving on to Buck and Tommy’s breakup, talk about your approach to it. Why was Tommy sure that Buck would break his heart?

Tommy’s older and Buck is very new to this, and whether Tommy was correct or not, I think what he felt like was exactly what he said: I’m not your last, I’m your first, which is a special thing to be, but as Tommy says, it doesn’t usually end up being the same thing. And I think based on what we know of Buck, he’s maybe not wrong. Buck’s a little impulsive when he’s feeling a certain kind of way. He’s like, move on in, bring your couch. So I just think because Tommy’s a little older and wiser or maybe at some level he feels like he doesn’t deserve Buck, I don’t know. But I think he accurately diagnosed Buck. Buck’s still figuring himself out, and boy, that would be quite risky to move in with that guy as much as you would love to.

---

We have a couch reference.

---

Somewhat unrelated but relevant:

I also think that I have finally caught up on all the articles. In every article, someone says Eddie is straight. I want to say about four articles have a reference or a mention of straight Eddie, and there is one in-canon statement from Eddie. So what do we think about that? I instinctively want to say that to have that many denials is sus, but I also have to acknowledge that the question was asked before the response was offered. I honestly don't know what to believe when it comes to the show's direction. I'm still here though and sticking with my original plan to give them until the end of Seasn 8 to move Eddie out of the closet. I will not accept the demise of this ship a moment sooner. It doesn't help that actors are excellent liars. Oliver always makes me second guess myself. lol For now, I'm still here and still clowning.

Other things to consider in favor of Buddie:

There was one article from TVInsider where the interviewer reminded the reader that Eddie said he wanted a beard. Most of us know the gay coding of that word, and that was promptly followed by the Priest pointing out that Eddie was wearing a mask/disguise. This is all within the same conversation where Eddie assumed the Priest was hitting on him, and he called himself straight.

I'm also low-key wondering about the possible conflict between Eddie and Buck coming up. I need more info on that. What?? These two haven't had beef since Buck sued Bobby in Season 3 and Buck and Eddie argued in the grocery store. We all know how Eddie served c#nt like a professional in that fight. Eddie ended up forgiving Buck soon afterward, but Buck was still apologizing four episodes later. lol

I saw in another post where someone compared the image of Eddie in the confessional with the image of Eddie seeing Buck through the peephole of his door. (Hint, both looked like confessional images.) That has to be deliberate.

Tim's comment above referenced Tommy and a couch in a similar context to Eddie and Buck's conversation when Buck said his last few couches came with girlfriends, and Eddie corrected him to say his girlfriends came with couches.

@stagefoureddiediaz 's color theory is still proving accurate as well.

Updates

Buck looking less than thrilled at seeing Laker tickets. Tommy tells him he can use the gift with Eddie and Buck perking up at the idea, only for Tommy to say nope. Joking. (On a second watch, I think I read too much in to this one, but I'm keeping it on the list as very loose interpretation.)

Oliver admits that Buck looked Eddie up and down when he opened the door and knew something was going on with him, but then the whole sit in silence thing. (I know the breakup was on Buck's mind, but I swear he looked like he was trying not to think about Eddie being half naked beside him.)

Also, Eddie was half naked just sitting beside him. I can't help but think of them sitting there like that. Buck and Eddie are going to the same place, but they are taking totally different paths to get there. At some point, they are going to meet each other face to face and be like, you're here.

(I saw a theory. You always have to take these with a grain of salt, but I can't deny the theory sounds good. there have been a lot of parallels that are relevant for Buck and Eddie with the exception of Eddie's shooting.) I did read one interview, it may have been TVInsider, where the interviewer said they hoped Buck wouldn't be in danger. Oliver hinted that Buck was always putting himself in those situations. I think it might be a hint for what is to come. Also, if Buck is putting himself in dangerous situations again, this might be something that has Eddie angry with Buck. I think there is a lot of room for this theory. We'll have to wait and see on that one.

In a previous interview, Oliver told us there was an upcoming scene where Buck and Eddie sat in silence and that it was a testament to their friendship. In the latest interview in Variety, he talks about the scene again but this time he says "that it speaks volumes about their relationship that they could be going through things and handling it so differently but still be there for each other with little need for words. (This is the same interview where Oliver admits that Buck looked Eddie up and down.) At the end of this question, he reiterates that it speaks volumes that they were in different places and could still be there for each other. He says, "I think it really speaks volumes to the strength of their bond."

[kyoteugly]

If not Buddie, why Buddie shaped? #2

Following my theory that season 7 and 8 are new seasons 1 and 2 on abc, where the writers revisits the big events from character’s pasts and retells them (you can read it here) I want to look closer at new episode 8x06 “Confessions”.

This is all fresh in my mind, I watched the episode like 4h ago, there is a chance I’ll miss something.

Like I said, I think we’re going to see at least 4 more big moments revisited (or rather the emotional state those events invoked) from previous seasons before Buddie goes canon. Kitchen scene, well, will and shooting arc. And one of those happened in this episode! But also so many other things! 

EDDIE:

Starting with Eddie in the confessional. I can’t help but see his fight club era here (call me bias, I love season 3 Eddie so much!). An attempt to find a healthy outlet to his emotions. He’s struggling and fighting with his inner demons, this time instead of rage it’s sadness and loneliness. 

And he is doing it with an outsider's help. Father Brian is like Lena Bosko. Why Lena and not Frank? I think Eddie would just shut on therapy at this point. He needs someone to talk to, someone with opinions and advice, caring enough to want to help but also not afraid to go straight to the point and call his bs - Lena and Father Brian did just that.

Ok. Time to revisit a big event from Eddie’s past - the well. ABC put the call with the little boy trapped in a pipe in episode promo as the red herring. The real purpose of this call was to remind us about the Eddie Begins episode. The important thing from Eddie Begins is that Eddie was alone in the dark pit - and in the end he saved himself. 

So the real connection between those two episodes is not in the call where 118 saves the little boy, but between Eddie coming out from underwater, drawing a deep breath and Eddie shaving a mustache, shedding his mask and dancing, breathing fully again.

sorry for the meme, I'm tired

It’s also interesting that the moment Eddie allowed himself to feel joy Buck knocked at his door.

BUCK:

This one is pretty straight forward. Like I said before, Tommy represents Abby - a transformative relationship - like Buck said himself. The fact that Tommy was engaged with Abby is a really beautiful way to further connect and close both relationships. What leads to the break up from Tommy’s side is also similar. Tommy knows he would fall deeply for Buck, and Abby didn’t come back because she knew she would lose herself in Buck. They were both protecting themselves.

And here is also a little parallel to Ali. Like her, Tommy offers Buck a proper and honest break up, showing maturity, understanding and clear reason why. And yes, Ali was also protecting herself, ending their relationship before they broke each other's hearts.

And one more thing from Buck’s side. The whole Abby thing throws him off. Maddie tells him it’s not a big thing, Josh tells him not to judge Tommy (honestly, Josh’s speech is amazing!) - this calms him down in the end, dating the same woman doesn’t feel awkward anymore. But the questions Josh is asking leave Buck confused. Taking the next step, moving in together - it’s like Buck is trying to prove he really feels those things Josh was talking about (or maybe even compensate for his “freak out”, confirm he’s fully into this relationship). And on some level Buck has those feelings, he cares about Tommy, but more than that, he simply feels he should be on the level Josh suggested and he wants this to work. It’s Buck’s impulsiveness coming to play, an action that causes reaction in a form of big gesture to confirm his feelings - a nod to his relationship with Taylor.

Fortunately Tommy explains those feelings to Buck (and to the audience) in a very kind way. 

Honestly, their relationship (the last two episodes especially) was handled beautifully, without unnecessary drama, without too much spotlight. It started with fireworks, naturally progressed and faded gently.

The cherry on top: Evan meant something more, something special for Tommy. Ending his goodbye with Buck means “we’re friends now”.

BUDDIE:

There are two things here I want to mention.

Ever since Gerrard separated Buck and Eddie this is the episode where we can see them working together as partners again. And this finally wraps up the divorce era.

The ending scene represents different scenes for each of them, ending different arcs.

For Buck the couch scene represents Abby’s comeback in season 3. He watched her ride off in the ambulance with her fiance (with Eddie solid by his side), and later he got closure from her.

For Eddie this scene represents him being embraced by the 118 after he dug himself out from the well. He’s connected again, no longer alone. 

And of course, the most obvious and sweetest thing - it’s the right couch (and they finally drink that beer).

Bonus MADNEY:

Couldn’t help but notice some revisits here.  Maddie’s postpartum depression is addressed very clearly, nothing to add here. During the pandemic Chimney stayed at Buck’s place, afraid to put pregnant Maddie in danger of catching the virus. Something happened on a call that changed his mind, made him overcome his fear and enjoy the future with his family. The same in this episode. But there is a little twist here and it involves brothers. In season 7 the new audience learned about Kevin. Guess who wasn’t yet introduced (and also took care of Maddie during the pandemic)... yes, I believe this season we will see Albert again. 

That’s it for now. Let me know if you want more posts like this. Feel free to contact me if you want some clarification or just to talk.

Tagging some people who may be interested (if you want me to remove you from this post let me know): @buddiebeginz @stagefoureddiediaz @lemotmo @inell

[brown-bi-beautiful]

BABY BOY

College au

Pairing: nerd! Jungkook x fuckgirl! reader

MINORS DNI

Genre: strangers to lovers? smut, fluff, a little angst

Words: 21.4k

Summary : You are bored with all of the boys on your campus and now you want the new toy except...the new toy doesn't want you

Warnings: Jungkook hates reader at the beginning 😭😭😭, Jungkook is an asshole to her, reader and her friends are low-key mean girls, reader and her friends objectify Jungkook a lot (red flag right there), reader is kind of the s word, casual slutshaming, angst (but it's like very tolerable), SMUT [MASTURBATION (Male, ORAL REC. (Both male and female), Fingering, JUNGKOOK'S DICK NEEDS A WARNING BY ITSELF (spoiler alert: ITS BIG AND OC's OBSESSED), Protected sex (be responsible kids)], FLUFFFFFF.

A/n: OMG.... It has been a while. Honestly work was so hard this past year and on top of everything i went through a very bad break up due to which I wasn't really in the mood of writing anymore ( Also why I kinda half assed it a little, Im very sorry). But now that we are back again I really hope you enjoy it guys. It was initially going to be 30 k words but due to the above mentioned things I could only reach 21 k but I still hope I won't disappoint you guys. Anyways, happy reading.

*******

'Why did you agree to this?' you asked yourself once again as you stared at the boy sitting opposite you, nervously stumbling over his words. You looked at him with a bored expression.

Let’s make one thing clear: you have a policy of not dating. The only reason you agreed to this date was simple—who would turn down free food, right? Plus, the boy was somewhat easy on the eyes. However, after listening to him struggle to tell a story for the last half-hour, you were instantly reminded why you avoid dates altogether: they can be incredibly boring.

'Oh God, fucking and dumping is so much easier than enduring this.' You don’t even understand how they get the impression that you're looking for anything more than just sex. From the start, you’ve always been clear about your intentions—letting them know that you're only interested in a physical relationship with no strings attached. At first, they all agree, but eventually, they start pushing for more, asking for just one date, as if that would change your mind.

"Could you at least pretend to look interested?" he snaps suddenly, his irritation showing at your impolite demeanor.

"Well, I'm not."

"Then why did you say yes to this?"

"Because you were practically begging me to, and I was just feeling a bit hungry, dude," you retorted, leaning back in the chair and crossing your arms. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, it’s not you, okay? I just don’t do dates... What was your name again?"

"How could you not remember my name? We had sex this morning!" He looked hurt, but it's not your fault, you were drunk last night when you met him at the frat party.

"And did you hear me say your name once?" you asked with a raised eyebrow .

"You're a bitch." He exclaimed, getting up to rush out of the cafe.

"At least pay for the pancakes!" you called after him but he ignored you and ran away. 'What a little bitch.' You sighed throwing some bills on the table and got up to leave as well.

Let’s make one more thing clear: you loved sex. It was ironic, really, considering you were a virgin when you first started college. But after getting your heart broken by your boyfriend during the second semester, you realized the only good thing that came out of relationships with men was sex.

You have sworn off dating but that didn't mean you were going to give up on having sex too. If guys could do it without any judgment, you saw no reason why you couldn't as well. As a result, you gained a reputation as the infamous "fuckgirl" of your college.

*******

"So? I heard your recent boy toy has been telling everyone that you suck at giving head." Jimin, your best friend of 3 years said. Jimin was the only guy you have stayed friends with after having sex. Sex with Jimin was good, so good that you guys became fuck buddies for a few months in fourth sem. However you had to stop having sex when he started seeing a girl regularly and then you didn't go back even after they broke up, You both decided that you liked your dynamic better as best friends.

"As if I would let that dick anywhere near my mouth." You roll your eyes, taking a seat next to him at the far end of the classroom. It was frustrating to see guys act like this after facing rejection. "Honestly, who cares? Everyone knows that's not true." you remarked, dismissing the behavior with a hint of exasperation.

"I don't know, you were kinda awful."

"Hey, I take offence. I was the best sex you've ever had and you're a lucky bastard to even get a taste of this." You said pointing at your own body.

"I'm kidding. He's probably just salty that he wasn't the one to change you for the better and be your awakening."

After several minutes of silence, with only the voice of Mr. Aitken filling the air, you returned to the previous subject. "I don't get it, I mean what part of 'I only want to have sex' is so hard to understand?"

"I don't know, bro. You should do what I do, leave before they wake up and block them from every social media platform."

"Oh what a great person."

"Says the one that has fucked almost half the college?"

You gasped at his sudden dig and slapped his arm. "You're a bigger slut than I am, bitch. Anyways, I'm done with college boys."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they're so immature. I just want someone who would understand the depth of casual sex."

"You sure you're not only saying that because you've now slept with all the boys in our campus?"

"Shut up. My body count is still very modest. And I'm serious, I'm not sleeping with anymore college boys."

"As if on cue, Mr. Aitken's lecture was interrupted by the creaking sound of the large lecture hall door swinging open. In walked a boy with fluffy hair and clothes that seemed too big for him, drawing everyone's attention."

"I'm so sorry for interrupting you. Is this Ancient Mesopotamia with Mr. Fergus Aitken?" the boy asked in a voice so low that, if it hadn't been so silent in the class, you wouldn't have been able to hear it.

"Yes, it is. Now hurry up and take your seat; you're wasting my time," the old man grumbled, prompting the boy to rush and nervously find a place to sit. You observed him with curiosity as he settled into the only available seat, which happened to be in the third row, directly in front of you.

From the little you could see of his face, you certainly liked what you saw. He seemed younger than you, or maybe it was his clothing style and demeanor that gave off that impression. There was an aura of innocence and cuteness about him that caught your attention. If it weren't for the classroom setting, you would have already approached him.

While you had no reservations sleeping with any attractive man, Jimin always insisted that you have a type. He believed you had a soft spot for spoiling cute and innocent boys. Boys who seemed inexperienced in the field, boys you could teach, boys who looked like they've never seen pussy in their life, boys like him.

Your best friend seemed to have caught on to the expression on your face, and with a knowing smirk, he nudged you playfully.

"I thought you said you were done with college boys."

"That was before I knew someone this cute goes here. Who the hell is he?" you asked, genuinely curious about the boy who had just walked in.

"Why do you think I know everyone in this college?"

"Because you're a gossip girl."

"You don't complain when I give you the gossips."

"I'm sorry, is my lecture interrupting your conversation, Mr. Park, Ms. __?" a thickly accented voice interjected, breaking your conversation with Jimin. You glanced up and noticed that all eyes, including those of the new boy, were on you. This time, you got a full view of his face, and you were taken aback by his beauty. His big doe eyes gazed back at you, his lips set in a natural pout, and his fluffy hair, partially restrained by a black bandana, almost concealed his stunning features. To call him merely pretty would be disrespectful; he was absolutely gorgeous.

"No, sir. I was actually just clearing her doubt about King Shu-Sin." Jimin said and you nodded along.

"Well, that's unfortunate, given that topic ended last week and we're on Assyrian civilization." You fought the chuckle that almost escaped you as Jimin's face reddened in embarrassment.

"You see, I know that, but-"

"If you want to talk, just get out of my class." Mr. Aitken's stern words snapped you back to reality as he resumed his lecture. Despite the urge to leave, you knew you couldn't afford to miss any more classes, given that your attendance was already lagging behind. Moreover, there was the intrigue of the new boy who had captured your interest recently. So, you stayed put, trying to focus on the lecture, though your mind kept drifting back to the presence of the boy in front of you.

After what felt like an eternity, but was only an excruciating 40 minutes, the lecture finally came to an end. Without waiting for Jimin, you promptly stood up from your seat, excited that you finally had the opportunity to approach the boy. Your eyes scanned the room for your new object of interest. Among the sea of students, his fluffy head was not too difficult to spot as he made his way toward the exit. However, navigating through the crowd of more than 200 students, all eager to leave Mr. Aitken's apparently popular class, proved to be quite challenging and frustrating.

"Shit!" You exclaimed when you finally got out of the class but couldn't get a sight of him. 'How is he so fast?'

"You know you should start paying me for this." Came the voice of your friend from beside you as he held out your bag which you had left behind in a rush.

"Bet you've said that before."

********

"Guess who has a new crush!" Jimin exclaimed the moment both of you stepped into the café where you and your friends usually hung out. And by hung out, you meant practically lived.

"Shut up, it's not a crush," you defended yourself, settling down on the couch and playfully nudging your friend with your butt to make some space for yourself.

"Sure. It's not a crush." Jimin mocked.

"Wait, I wanna know. Who is it?" Riley exclaimed excitedly, leaving her boyfriend Hobi's lap to move closer to you, eager to hear all the details.

"It's not a crush or anything. Jimin loves to overreact. It's just this guy I noticed in class today. It was his first time with Mr. Aitken; otherwise, I think I would have noticed him before. He's just really cute, that's all."

"Wait cute as in 'charming-flirty cute' or cute as in 'you could spread him on a toast and eat' cute." Jennie chipped in on your conversation.

"Knowing her, I bet it's the latter." Said Hoseok.

"I'm not answering that." You said as the waitress, Robin, came with your usual coffee order and you thanked her with a smile.

Amidst the conversation, you couldn't help but notice that Jay, one of your friends, had been unusually quiet the whole time. Before you could ask him what happened, he got up to leave.

"I'm gonna go smoke some weed. You wanna come?" Jay asked you, and you declined with a shake of your head. As soon as he was out of earshot, your other friends burst into laughter, amused by the situation.

"Oh he wishes you'd cum."

"Guys please. He'll get over it." You defended the guy even though you were quite sure he wouldn't get over it soon.

"He better, it's getting pathetic." Said Riley.

Jay had been harboring a crush on you for over a year now. He had asked you out twice in the past month, but you turned him down, saying you don't fuck with friends.

As you engaged in another conversation, you heard the bell on the front door ring, but you didn't pay much attention to it initially—at least not until Jimin burst out with wide eyes.

"That's him, that's him. That's her new crush!" All of you turned around to see the boy standing at the café entrance, looking around with his wide doe eyes as if he were looking for someone.

You were never one to get enchanted by someone very easily. It hadn't happened even once since you got to college—at least, not until this boy. There was something about him that captivated you effortlessly.

It definitely wasn't love at first sight, though. Your experiences had taught you that you were somewhat incapable of feeling love in the traditional sense. You just couldn't. But would you admit that you were attracted to him? Yes, you were undeniably and very much attracted to him.

"Oh he's a cutie."

"Him?" You turned around at Jennie's words as she shook her head.

"You know him?" You asked.

"No I don't know him. I know of him." You felt like you've hit a jackpot. Not you'd know at least something about him when you approach him. "You can't fuck him. You know Namjoon's friend Jeon Wonwoo?"

"If by 'know' you mean 'slept with'? Then yes."

"That's Jeon Jungkook, his brother."

"No way. What?"

"Yeah, and Wonwoo hates you so much. I'm pretty sure his brother hasn't heard good things about you."

"But maybe he doesn't know her," Jimin said "Maybe Wonwoo hasn't told him about her. I mean who likes to brag about getting dumped?"

"Yeah, I'm with Jennie here," Riley said and you raised an eyebrow, "Not because he's Wonwoo's brother or something but because, look at him. He looks like you'd break him."

"No, I won't. Why do you guys always act like I'm some man-eating witch?" you retorted, feeling defensive and exasperated at your friends' judgmental reactions.

"Babe, you know that's not what she means. You know guys like him can never handle a woman who's comfortable in her sexuality." Riley nodded along at Jennie's words.

"You never know. For all we know he could be like...a freak in the sheets."

"Really? Him?" You followed Hosoek's gaze to see the boy in question sitting on a barstool and sipping on pink Boba tea. His lips made a small pout around the head of the straw.

"He's cuuute." Riley cooed.

"And you have a boyfriend." Hobi reminded her and she pecked his lips in assurance.

"You know what? Go for it," said Jennie with a smile. "Fuck Wonwoo, in fact I'll ask Namjoon some details about him." You squealed and kissed Jennie on the cheek with a big smacking sound.

******

It seemed like you were experiencing the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, because lately, Jungkook had been popping up everywhere—in your classes, at the café, and anywhere you hung out on campus. It had been over a week since you first noticed him, but you were yet to approach him. It wasn't that you were nervous or anything, no, far from it; you were just looking for a good opportunity to pounce.

He always rushed out of classes as if he had to attend to surgery or something, or he was always with his two guy friends, who looked like they'd have a seizure if they came in contact with a woman. It's not that you were nervous about asking him out in front of his friends; you just weren't sure if he wanted to be asked out in front of them.

Through Jennie (read: Namjoon), you managed to gather some information about Jungkook. He was a third-year student, majoring in chemistry, and 22 years old—he was a year younger than you and all your friends.

Right now you were fooling around with one of the boys in class at another one of your hookup spots. It was just meant to be a quick exchange of weed when Dongmin suggested you should make out since you were already in the sacred spot and you were like why not.

You and Dongmin have been hooking up for quite some time now. While you don't usually sleep with a man twice, Dongmin was quite good at what he does.

You don't realize when his hand slipped into your panties but you certainly weren't complaining.

As you were in the middle of your intense make-out sesh, a loud thud disturbed your encounter, leaving you irritated and eager to shoo away whoever had intruded. When you turned around to address the interruption, your voice caught in your throat and all the irritation left your body when you found yourself face to face with the familiar pair of wide, doe eyes.

It was none other than Jeon Jungkook, the same boy you've been trying to get alone with for the past week but had no luck. The same boy you've been lusting over just saw you with another man, his hand down your panties.

"I'm- I'm sorry... I got lost- I'll just... Leave." Jungkook hurriedly picked up his books from the ground and rushed to get out of there.

Before you knew it, you were pushing away the guy in front of you and without any explanation to him you rushed after Jungkook.

"Hey, wait," you called after him and he froze on the spot. When you finally approached him, you gave him a sweet smile.

"I-I-said I'm sorry."

"Oh no, it's ok. You just said you're lost?" Jungkook looked at you in confusion. Did you actually just leave your make out session to ask him that?

"Umm... yeah, I recently started having classes in this sector, and I was... looking for Abnormal Psych with Mr. Hastings."

"I know where that class is, come I'll walk you."

"It's not necessary," Jungkook said, looking at the ground to avoid making eye contact.

"I insist. By the way I'm," you offered him your hand which he looked at hesitantly for a few seconds but didn't shake. You were a little hurt but didn't show it in your face "And you are?"

"Jeon Jungkook." His voice was lower than expected.

"Cute name. Come on Jeon Jungkook, I'll take you to your psych class." You offered once again and started walking without waiting for his answer.

Jungkook had half a mind to escape from the situation and hide. For all he knew, you could be luring him somewhere for your friends to bully him. Here's the thing: Jungkook couldn’t be bothered enough to indulge in college drama, but he also wasn’t living under a rock to not know who you were. To say that you were infamous around the whole campus would be an understatement.

He had heard many things about you and your little group of friends—from his brother, his friends, and even strangers—and none of it was good. If so many people had the same negative opinion about you, he couldn't help but believe that there might be some truth to it.

Jungkook could never comprehend why people still engaged with you if you were such an awful person with such an unpleasant personality. Why did they give you all the attention you so clearly wanted? Why not just ignore you and go on their merry way?

When he first saw you, though, he understood why. You were drop-dead gorgeous, and you carried yourself like you knew it. With just a look at you, he could tell that you were a bad influence, and he promised himself never to associate with you or any of your friends. He believed that being drawn into your circle would only lead to trouble.

"I think I've seen you somewhere." Jungkook thought, of course you don't remember him even after crossing paths several times. He doesn't think of himself as a memorable face anyway. "Wait, do we have any classes together?"

"A couple."

"Oh, right! You're in Mr. Aitken's Mesopotamian history class, aren't you?" Jungkook simply nodded in response. You took the opportunity to prolong the conversation, purposely opting for the longer route to the psychology building.

"Yes." He mumbled, not saying a single word more than he needs to answer you.

"Hey by the way I have psych too, but its with Mrs. Fields." You said, happy to find another common ground with him. "Is psych your major?"

"No. It's Chemistry."

You attempted to lighten the atmosphere with a playful comment, saying, "You definitely look like someone who'd take chemistry." But instead of taking it lightly, Jungkook seemed a bit offended by your remark.

"What does that mean?"

"You know, you look smart," you complimented, unaware that he was misinterpreting everything. All Jungkook heard was the possible hidden meaning behind your words. You were definitely calling him a nerd. And even if you were right, you had no right to say that.

You had no idea what to make of Jungkook's expression. It was the first time you'd miserably failed at flirting with a guy. Usually, by this point in the conversation, they'd be eating out of your hand, but Jungkook looked unaffected by your charms. He was looking anywhere but at you, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"Are you always this quiet?" You asked.

"I only talk to my friends." His answer was short and simple.

You finally reached in front of Mr. Hastings class and you suddenly felt a pang in your heart that your time was up with him.

"Here, it's your class."

Seeing the lecture hall door labeled 'GC24' and noticing the same numbers on the slip, Jungkook felt a sense of relief wash over him. He silently thanked his luck, relieved that you hadn't taken him somewhere with ill intentions to bully him, as he had initially thought.

"Thanks," Jungkook mumbled as he reached for the door handle, preparing to enter the lecture hall. Before he could step inside, your hand on his arm halted him. Your touch surprised him, and he turned to look at you with curiosity, unsure of what you might say or do next.

"Do you want to get coffee sometime?" You asked, looking up at him with a smile.

Jungkook panicked at your question. You wanted to have coffee with him? You wanted to have coffee with him? But why? Probably so that your little posse of friends can make fun of him.

"No thanks." Jungkook's rejection caught you off guard, and it was an unfamiliar feeling to be on the receiving end of such a response. Doubts crept into your mind as you wondered if he had misunderstood you or if there had been some miscommunication between you two.

"No, I'm asking you out on a date."

"I- I know," He said, "I don't want to."

Feeling beyond shock the only thing that left your mouth was "Why?"

"I don't date girls like you." And with that he quickly went inside the lecture room leaving a very shocked you outside.

*******

"Maybe he's gay," Jimin suggests passing you the rolled joint and you took it gladly. "And by 'girls like you' he meant girls in general."

"No, no, I'm pretty sure he meant girls like me. I'm sure, that idiot brother of his has said something about me." You said passing back the joint. "And now he thinks I'm a slut or something."

"I mean, where's the lie?" You could tell that Jay was pretty high right now, he only settles to throw mean comments at you when he's high. It was his own way of releasing his frustration and you never mind him.

"Shut up, Jay, before I kick you in the teeth." Jimin threatened him in your defense and you don't doubt that he would actually do it if needed.

"Babe, you have never cared what people think about you, why start now?" Jennie said as she lied down on the grass.

"I don't know, I still don't care what other people think but-"

"You know what? He was completely out of line to say that to you." Riley said and you shook your head.

"I guess if roles were reversed I wouldn't go out with me either. I don't really have the reputation of Mother Teresa on this campus."

"So what you gonna do now?"

"I say move on and fuck our TA Mark, he's like, crazy hot."

"I think I know what I'm gonna do."

*******

"The only reason I agreed to take psych was because we were taking it together. Now you want to switch to that old cranky man?" Jimin complained as you sat in the office to fill the forms to change classes.

"You are welcome to not join me."

"If you think that I can endure a lecture without you, then you're wrong."

"I know." You giggled kissing his cheek.

"Hmm 'reason', I wonder what I should write," Jimin mocked as he stared at the form and then you, "'My crazy best friend is obsessing over a nerd who clearly doesn't give two fucks about her'."

"Your crazy best friend wouldn't mind telling your hookups that you once had gonorrhea."

"I told you that in confidence." As the two of you continued to bicker you heard someone clear their throat and instantly looked up to see a woman in her late 40s, you've seen countless times but don't recall the name of.

"If you are done with the forms, you can give them to me,"

"Just a moment," you said with a smile as you proceeded to fill out the rest of the form. She shook her head as she looked you up and down, probably appalled by your scantily covered body in a lilac bralette that exposed the better part of your chest and midriff, and a white skirt so short that if you bent over, your ass could be seen. She took a few seconds to judge you and eventually returned to her desk.

"Did you sleep with her?" You asked in a hushed tone.

"What?! No, she's like... ancient."

Once you submitted the forms to Mrs.—shit, you forgot her name again—you made your way to the history building. It was almost time for Mr. Aitken's class. Although you typically wouldn't attend any class two days in a row, your newfound motivation had recently changed your mindset.

"Can we skip it today? Let's just go, smoke some weed, I got really good stuff from Taehyung."

"No, we are very behind on attendance."

"What are you talking about, we can still skip three more classes."

"No, Jimin."

"Is this about Jungkook again?" He sighed after reading your expression. "What is up with you? You've never put this much effort into fucking a guy."

"I know. He's just, interesting. And I want to put effort."

Upon entering the crowded lecture hall, almost every seat was occupied, and only a few vacant spots remained. While Jimin searched for a place to sit, your attention was captured by one person only—Jeon Jungkook—who was currently engrossed in scribbling something in his notebook. He was wearing glasses today, and it made him even more adorable than usual. All you wanted to do was drag him away from the class and kiss him.

As you heard your name being called, you turned to find a group of boys gathered around an empty seat, all of them gesturing toward it, signaling that the seat was available for you.

"Sit here, the view's perfect from here." You rolled your eyes and ignored them, walking up to the only boy you're interested in right now.

"In your dreams, Jared." You heard one of the boys say.

When you reached your destination, the entire class fell into silence, their eyes wide and curious as they watched you stand in front of Jungkook in the front row. But it seemed that Jeon Jungkook was completely absorbed in whatever he was scribbling in his notebook, paying no attention to you or the situation.

"Hey," when Jungkook lift his head to see who was talking to him his eyes widened. He was definitely not expecting to have a encounter with you two days in a row.

When you had asked Jungkook out (and he had said no), he believed that you did it merely as a joke, intending to mock him in front of your friends. What else would make someone like you ask someone like him out? You surely don't have any shortage of people falling at your feet, so that had to be the only reason why you asked him out, right?

When Jungkook rejected you, he was sure that would be the last of your encounters. He planned to make sure he never crossed your path again, which is why he deliberately sat in the front row today, knowing you and your friend always occupied the seats at the back.

Since yesterday, Jungkook couldn’t get you out of his mind. He despised you; he despised people like you—people who seemed to believe they had the authority to toy with others simply because of their popularity. On top of that, the negative things he had heard about you from his brother only added to the bad image you already had. According to everyone, you were the meanest girl in the whole college, and he just wished he could put you in your place.

He hated the way you smiled at him right now, so innocent, as if you weren’t the person people said you were. He believed your smile was fake, a mere façade to conceal your true intentions. Your ego must have been wounded by getting rejected by him of all people, and now you probably wanted revenge or something.

Undeterred by Jungkook's lack of response to your greeting, you pressed on and asked, "Is this seat taken?" You pointed to the seat beside him, even though it was clearly occupied by another girl, who looked alarmed by your question.

"Is it, sweetie?" Your next question wasn't to him but the girl, who just looked panicked and taken aback that you're even talking to her.

"N-No… You can sit here, __." The girl stammered nervously, quickly giving up her seat for you.

'Who do you think you are?' Jungkook wanted to snap at you very badly but looking at all your fans around the hall who were already glaring daggers at him, he stops himself.

"Thanks," you smiled sweetly at the girl and proceeded to sit in the seat. "Scooch," you told Jungkook, and he did so without saying anything. You then patted the seat on your other side, prompting your friend to come forward and take that seat, though not without rolling his eyes first.

As soon as you sat beside him, he caught a whiff of your scent. It was a very fruity smell, a mix of grapefruit and fresh oranges. You smelled rich, and it suited your personality very well.

Jungkook thanked the whole universe when Mr. Aitken finally walked in and started his lecture. Now he’d just have to get through this one hour somehow, by ignoring your presence. Jungkook thought you wouldn’t try to mess with him during the class, but boy, was he wrong.

"So? What happened yesterday? Why'd you run away?" You leaned closer to him and asked in a hushed tone. He tried to ignore you and moved closer to the boy next to him.

"Are you ignoring me, Jungkook?"

"Please, let me focus on the lecture." He says before noting down something in his notebook.

"Oh, look at you. You take notes, such a good boy." You giggled, and if it had been anyone else, Jungkook would admit that sound was incredibly cute. But on you, it was nothing but annoying. Once again, you were mocking him for being a nerd. "So? Did you have time to think about it? You wanna go out for coffee?" You asked, batting your eyelashes at him, but it seemed to have no effect on him.

"No. Now please let me study."

"You have pretty hands," you remarked, tracing circles on the back of his palm. But Jungkook chose to ignore your comment once again. "If you don't want to get coffee, we can go to the movies or something, or do whatever you like."

"What do you want from me?" He asked, clearly annoyed by your behavior.

"I want to get to know you." Your words made him snap his head to look at you. The way you smiled at him seemed genuine, like you actually meant what you just said. Once again, Jungkook couldn't help but notice your beauty. Your lips were a shade of pink, glossy, and looked very plump. Your eyes were big and innocent, as if you hadn't broken all of those hearts. Before he could silently compliment more of your features, he suddenly remembered what Wonwoo had said to him.

"She is the meanest girl in this college, Guk. You don't want to associate with the likes of her. She and her friends bully people to have fun."

"I don't want to do anything."

"Why?"

"I just don't."

For a second, you looked truly hurt by Jungkook, and he realized he didn’t like that look on your face for some reason.

"If you don't want to go on a date, we can just hang out here on campus," you suggested again. This time, instead of saying anything, Jungkook just sat there silently.

You didn’t look away, though. Your eyes were fixed on him with that pretty little smile on your face, and Jungkook started feeling self-conscious under your gaze.

Do you look at everyone like this? Like you're looking at him right now? Like you're scrutinizing every minute detail of his face?

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're very pretty?" Jungkook's whole body heated up as he heard your compliment, unable to control the blush that spread across his face. "Are your glasses prescribed?"

The remainder of the class passed with Jungkook doing his best to avoid your presence, while you continued shamelessly staring at him from the front row. He wondered why the professor hadn't called you out on your behavior yet. Maybe this whole college was biased toward popular kids.

As soon as the hour was up and the bell rang, Jungkook was the first to swiftly get up, eager to make his escape. The intensity of your gaze was becoming overwhelming, and he felt as though he might burst into flames if he stayed any longer. Your presence was growing more intense with every passing second.

When you saw Jungkook hastily gather his belongings and rush out of the hall without even sparing another glance at you, you grabbed your bag, which you hadn’t even bothered to open yet, and ran after him, ignoring the calls of your name behind you from Jimin. This time, thankfully, you didn’t lose him in the crowd.

When you caught up to him, Jungkook was a little surprised to see you, not expecting you to follow him even after class.

"Wha-what are you doing?"

"We're hanging out."

"I never said yes to that."

"You never said no either." You said following him. "Why are you so scared of me, Jungkook?" You sound honestly curious about the question.

"I'm-I'm not scared."

"Then do you talk to everyone like that?" Ignoring your comment, Jungkook continued walking in a familiar direction.

"Where are we going?"

"Central Library." Jungkook doesn't know why he keeps answering you, it's like the words fall out before he can stop himself.

"Why? We just had a class," you whined a little. "Let's go to that gazebo behind the literature department." Jungkook doesn't have to know that it was a popular spot for people to make out. But it seemed that your suggestion fell on deaf ears, as you found yourself following Jungkook into the library without getting any response from him.

"I want to study for the next class."

As Jungkook walked alongside you, he couldn't help but notice all the attention the two of you were receiving on your way to the library. It made him wonder if you were equally affected by the curious stares, or if you had grown so accustomed to such attention that it didn’t faze you anymore.

Not wanting to be in the spotlight any longer, Jungkook led himself—and involuntarily, you—to seats in a less conspicuous area, hidden from the prying eyes of most people. Luckily, the seats there were unoccupied, with only two girls sitting at the table across from you, seemingly oblivious to your presence.

"Do you spend all of your free time in the library?" You questioned as you settled on the seat beside him, a little too close for his liking. Your body was halfway turned toward him, and his eyes couldn't help it travel a little further south from your face. Jungkook thought that you had to know what you were doing; there was no way it was unintentional. 

Deciding to ignore your presence altogether, Jungkook took out his earphones and plugged them in his mobile, resuming the playlist he was listening to the night before. And apparently you took it as an invitation to take one of the earplugs and put it in your own ear. 

When you started humming to the music and singing somewhat broken lyrics to 'wasted years' along with Bruce Dickinson, it left Jungkook quiet stunned.

"You-you listen to heavy metal?" Jungkook asked with a raised eyebrow and you once again give him that smile of yours that seemed very dangerous.

"Sometimes, mostly Iron Maiden. Why? Can't I?"

"No-no, it's just, you- you don't seem like someone who'd... listen to heavy metal."

"Yeah? Then what do I seem like?" Your question caught him off guard and his eyes travelled to your lips. Still sitting too close to him, Jungkook could almost feel the warmth emitting from your body and it left him feeling a little strange, he couldn't decide if the feeling was the good or the bad kind.

You on the other hand almost did a victory dance in your head when you noticed his eyes lingering on your lips a little longer. You didn't make any further moves, knowing he might get uncomfortable and that's the last thing you want.

"I don't kn-know."

You heard the quiet sigh he let out in relief when your phone started buzzing in your hand, alerting you of text messages. Silently cussing at whoever it was, you turned on your phone to see the SMS.

Dooly 🐣 : Where the fuck did you go you rat?

Dooly 🐣 : You always do this bitch. And I always wait for you after class 🤡 🤡

You : I'm so sorry Chimmy. I'm with Jungkook.

Dooly 🐣 : You're with Jungkook 🥵?

You : Lol no. I wish tho 🤤🤤

You : we're just hangin in the Library 🙃.

Dooly 🐣: did your phone autocorrect sucking dick for 'hangin in the library' ? 🥴

You : stawppp bitch. We ain't doing anything. Just hangin.

Dooly : You ditched me to just hang in the library? Not cool ���🏻. Hope he never gives you dick.

You : Don't say that 🥹. I'm sorry.

Dooly 🐣: Whatever, dude. I'm smoking the good weed all by myself 😏😏

You : Don't say that 🥺🥺.... I'll make it up to you. Do you want a nude?

You didn't get a reply after that, so you reverted your attention to Jungkook who was already engrossed in his laptop. A smile automatically found its way to your lips when you saw how his brows furrow in concentration and his lips were already making a small pout.

You decided not to disturb him and settled for admiring him silently.

*******

'Baby, you want more?' Your voice was nothing but a sweet melody as you whispered in Jungkook's ear. Your hips are moving in a circular motion. Your cunt bare and wet as it rubbed against his cock.

All he could do in response was moan a loud 'yes' . Jungkook felt like he was in heaven. Your tits were bare and glistening with sweat as they bounced in his face. He could just reach out and suckle on them but he couldn't for some reason.

'Come on, baby boy. Touch me.' You demanded. Your voice was lower and you were moaning. 'Touch me, Jungkook. I'm all yours.' The way you said his name made him want to cum all over you. Paint you all white.

'I can't.' Jungkook said in frustration. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't reach out to grab those beautiful mounds of flesh. At that moment he wanted nothing more than to touch you, kiss you, please you.

'It's ok, baby boy. I can do all the work.' The second your wet pussy sank down on his hard as rock-penis was the second Jungkook lost it all. He moaned out your name like chants. Your hands tugged on his hair as you jumped up and down on his cock. Your head rolled back, revealing your beautiful neck which he just wanted to take a bite out of.

'I'm cumming, that's it, baby boy. You're about to make me cum.'

Jungkook immediately jolted awake. He was panting and his breath was irregular. What the hell did he just see in his dream?

He threw the covers off of him when he realized he was sweating excessively. His whole body was on fire and his mind couldn't comprehend the dream. He took a moment to realize that he just dreamt of you riding him. Not only were you riding him but he was making you cum as well.

Was it because you were the only thing that he had thought about the whole evening? It wasn't his fault that all he could think about was you. You were the one following him around the whole day in that little outfit that did nothing to cover your body.

Jungkook's cock was achingly hard. It was throbbing. When he looked down he could see it practically poking its way out of his sweatpants.

He has never felt this turned on before, not even when he watches his favorite genre of porn. Not even when Vivian Sue, his first girlfriend touched him down there for the first time when he was 16. But just a dream of you had him practically heaving.

He laid still for a few seconds, waiting for the boner to go down because there was no way he was going to give in to you so easily, he can't let you affect him like that. He has to fight his boner.

'Let's think of something disgusting.' Jungkook thinks to himself, 'Mingyu's feet. Yugyeom's sweaty hands. Dead dogs. Uncooked chicken. Your tits, your tits, your tits.'

Jungkook let out a groan in frustration. Fuck why was it so hard.

"Fuck it." Jungkook mumbles under his breath before taking out his throbbing cock from the restraint of his sweatpants. A soft involuntary moan left his mouth when his hands came into contact with the angry tip of his cock. He sighed in relief.

His hands slowly started rubbing his cock up and down. Thumb spreading the precum to make it easier for his fist to slide of the member.

He should think about something else, you're a person and it's unfair to masturbate to you. Specially when he has no sexual relationship with you. It was just wrong but he couldn't think of something else.

The image of your tits bouncing was still fresh in his head. The way your plump lips spread wide open to moan out his name, calling him 'baby boy'. The way you arched your back in pleasure as you rode him, your shiny pussy lips gliding up and down his cock. The images were all too clear in his head and once again you were all he could think of.

Your name left his mouth as moans and he thanked god his flat-mate was not home tonight to hear him through the thin walls. He was moaning your name pretty loudly and there was no way Caleb wouldn't hear it if he was home.

Soon enough Jungkook was pumping his cock in a rapid speed. All to the thoughts of you doing vile things in his head. He couldn't help but think if you would actually feel as good as you did in his dreams. If your pussy was actually so tight that it would suck his cock in.

When Jungkook finally came down from his high he could see white, literally and figuratively. He felt lightheaded. He had never cum so much, so fast. His seeds were all over his sheets and some on his own stomach.

He felt guilty. Disgusted in himself. Jungkook can't believe he did that to you. Specially when he promised himself and his brother that he would never let himself get attracted to you.

He hoped to god not to run in to you the next day, because there was no way he could face you now after what he just did.

*******

"How dare you not tell us, Guk?" It was Mingyu's voice behind Jungkook that stopped him from walking any further into the campus.

He turned around and looked at his best friends in confusion. They didn't look angry or upset, they just looked shocked.

He racked his brain while they walked up to him but couldn't find a reason as to why they would react like this.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"You were ASKED OUT by THE __ ___. Are you KIDDING ME?" Yugyeom partially yelled on his face and before Jungkook could answer they bombarded him with a series of questions.

"Did you fuck her? Is it true? Does she really have nipple piercings?"

"How many times did she let you hit?"

"Does she really suck at giving head?"

As Jungkook's friends questioned him, he felt an inner discomfort building up. He didn't appreciate their probing and, surprisingly moreover, he realized he didn't like the way they were talking about you. A strange urge welled up inside him, compelling him to defend you behind your back. For the first time, he felt the strong feeling of hate towards his own friends because of the way they were speaking of you.

Even though none of it was new to Jungkook, he had heard people talking about you like that before, even worse, but it never mattered to him. He never raised an eyebrow when people called you names, said crude things about you. He never called them out when they said things as if you were not a person but an object that everyone wanted to play with. But now, hearing these things made him angry at his own friends.

"Don't talk about her like that." Jungkook simply said.

"Woah... Bro you're whipped already, is her pussy that good?"

"I said don't talk about her like that. And we never did anything, I said no when she asked me out." There was a sudden pregnancy pause as both of his best friends looked at him in confusion.

"What?" Mingyu asked as if Jungkook was speaking some foreign language.

"I said I turned her down."

"I'm sorry, did you hit your head when you were a kid?" Yugyeom scoffed unbelievingly.

"What do you mean you turned her down? When she asks you out you don't say no, you bend on your knees and you ask her when and where."

"I don't have time for this, I have class." Jungkook resumed towards his path after rolling his eyes at his friends, ignoring their comments about how he has to be lying and if he really did say no to you then he's an idiot.

Jungkook doesn't understand the strange feelings swirling within him. Up until recently he was so sure that he absolutely hated you, hated everything you stand for, specially your nasty personality. Yet, the strong feeling of wanting to protect and defend you now confuses him. Why does he want to scream at his friends right now? Why does the mention of your name makes him feel jittery?

For the second time that morning Jungkook was interrupted on his way by somebody calling his name.

"Jungkook!" The voice called again but this time it was closer. He turned in just in time to see you run towards him in yet another one of your tiny outfits. Your clothes today covered more surface than the previous day, at least your denim skirt was a little longer and your breast weren't about to spill out of your little pink top with tiny strawberry prints.

"Hi." As you stood in front of him, his heart thumped against his chest. His dream from last night was still very vivid in his head. The images of you had engraved themselves in his brain and his whole body heated up with embarrassment and guilt when he remembers how he was so far gone into the lust that he shamelessly masturbated to you.

There were two similar to go cups in either of your hands, one filled with green and other with pink. Jungkook wonders what you were doing at this part of the campus when your classes were all the way over to the other side. Did you come all the way over here only to meet him? You wouldn't would you?

"Here, I got you strawberry Boba tea." You handed him the cup as you sipped on your own matcha.

"How do you-"

"I saw you order this in the café, the other day."

"What are you doing here? You don't have any classes here." He said a little shyly. The blush on his face was very evident although you might not know the reason behind it and he would like to keep it that way.

"Yeah, my classes start after 12. I thought I'll just hangout with you." You replied batting your eyelashes at him. "Won't you introduce me to your friends, Jungkook?" At your question Jungkook remembers that he was not alone right now and turned to look at the said friends, only to find them shamelessly staring at you with their mouth practically hung open as if they were meeting a celebrity or something. They both looked a little starstruck by you right now. You go to the same college as they do, what's the big deal?

"We know you." The tallest one out of the three said instantly and you raised your eyebrows at him. Jungkook wanted to scoff at their reactions.

Now you're aware that you're pretty famous (or infamous) around your college but you thought it was mostly in your department or the departments surrounding yours. You never knew you were also known all to the other side of the campus. Or perhaps Jungkook has talked about you with his friends? The thought alone made you want to giggle like a stupid teenager.

"You do?" You asked with a confused smile.

"Yeah we follow you on Instagram, I'm Yugyeom by the way."

"I'm Mingyu, we're Jungkook's friends."

"Oh, Hi. Nice to meet you guys." You said in that sweet voice of yours that Jungkook finds really obnoxious.

"Jungkook has class right now, if you want, you can hangout with us?" Mingyu suggested with a shy smile and before you could answer you felt a tug in your hand.

"It's fine guys, she has to get back to her department." With that Jungkook was dragging you out of there and you waved goodbye to his friends.

"What happened?" You asked with a little smirk as the boy gently dragged you along. You wonder if there was a chance that Jungkook was suddenly jealous of you talking to his friends.

In Jungkook's head he was doing you a favour. There was no way in hell he was going to let you alone with his friends after he just heard the way they talked about you. He was aware that you were very much capable of protecting or defending yourself. But just the thought of you spending time with his friends and them taking it as a signal sends chills down his spine.

"Jungkook, stop." He did as he was told and released your hand. "What happened? Why do you look mad?"

There's no need for you to know the actual reason behind why he's mad.

"Why did you come here?"

"I thought we could hang out."

"You don't have to. And you certainly don't have to bring me this." He said holding up the cup of pink bubble tea.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want anything to do with you."

"Are we seriously back to square one? I thought we bonded yesterday."

"I don't know what- what made you think that."

"I promise I won't bother you. Please, if I annoy you, you can tell me and I'll go away." Jungkook sighed at your proposal but didn't say anything and started walking towards his class. You happily took that as a hint to follow him.

*******

"Oh look, it's the girl who has given up all her dignity for a boy."

"Shut up, Jimin." you said as you sat down at the your usual spot, in the café beside your best friend.

"No, you don't get to be mad at me. I am mad at you. You've been ditching me all week."

"I'm sorry." Jimin rolled his eyes at your apology, mostly because it didn't seem sincere.

Thankfully the café this time of the day always seem pretty empty because crowd was the last thing you needed right now, it was only occupied by your group and some other people.

Even half of your group was missing, only Jimin and Hobi were there when you came in.

"You're still chasing that Jungkook guy?" Hosoek asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes." It was you best friend who had decided to answer on behalf of you.

"Wow, I've never seen you this desperate for dick."

"It's not just about that, Ok?" You snapped. "I mean, I don't even care if I don't get to have sex with him. I just... I don't know what it is, I guess I like him or something."

Both your friends look astound at your revelation. In fact you yourself was kind of amazed at what you said, never realizing it before the words left your mouth.

The last time you had romantic feelings for someone, he broke your heart and moved away from the city. Saying that he never intended to continue this relationship after graduating. That's why you dreaded having any sort of romantic relationship after that. The heartbreak was just too much and so not worth it.

You promised yourself that you'll only stick to sexual relationships from now on, no strings attached, that's until Jungkook came along. At first you thought it was just because he said no to you and you took it as a challenge. But that was not it. He made you feel different, he made you want to spend time with him even if you don't get any orgasms out of it.

That day when you spent time with him in the library you realized you liked looking at Jungkook's face. It gives you joy, no conversations need to take place and you would still enjoy his company.

Jimin was instantly by your side, forgetting the fact that he was supposedly mad at you. "Oh my god, you actually like him. That's the face you made when you told me about Yoongi."

"Really?"

"Wait, I thought we weren't suppose to talk about him."

"You can talk about him, Hobi. I've moved on," You assured your other friend before getting back to the previous topic. "And I guess I do, I just spent an hour with him in his chemistry lecture and I actually didn't mind because I got to be with him."

"Oh my god this is huge."

"No, its not that huge."

"It is kinda huge." You rolled your eyes before steeling Hoseok's muffin.

"Anyway, are you still mad at me?"

"NO. I thought you were ditching for dick, I didn't know you were in love with him." Jimin said with a smile.

"Shut up, I'm not in love."

The next five minutes went by you trying to convince your best friends that you're not in love and them teasing you about it.

"Hey guys, what are you talking about?"

"Joon." you instantly stood up to greet your friend with a tight hug. "Where's Jennie?"

"In class, we're supposed to meet here." he replied sitting in the empty chair beside the couch.

"We were talking about her new crush." said Hoseok making you glare at him.

"Oh right, Jennie told me about Jungkook."

"Of course she did, when has she ever been able to shut her mouth."

"In her defense, she kept her mouth shut for three whole days after she found out."

You met Namjoon through Yoongi, they were both in the swim team and as the girlfriend of the captain you became a part of their friend group by default. Namjoon was the sweetest jock you have ever seen. Even after you and Yoongi broke up Namjoon stayed friends with you, and you heard through his friends that he even scolded Yoongi for you. One day when you saw Namjoon drooling over one of your best friends you introduced them both and one year later they're still dating.

"Are you guys going to Rick Miller party this weekend?"

"I don't know. They never has the good boo-" Jimin started but a light bulb went off in your head.

"Yes we are." You replied.

"We are?" Jimin asked you'

"Yes, now Namjoon," you started turning to face your friend with glinting eyes. "I heard you're still friends with Won-woo."

"Oh no, I don't like where you're going with this." Namjoon shook his head.

"Just hear me out."

"OK fine. Yes we're still friends."

"Then you could convince him to bring Jungkook to the party?"

"I don't know, __, I don't think I should meddle, and if he finds-"

"Joonie, please?" You gave him the puppy eyes that works on almost everyone, key word- almost. "Don't forget I introduced you to your pretty girlfriend."

"Are you gonna hang that over my head forever?"

"Pretty much."

"What are you gonna do anyway? And I don't know if you can tell but Kook's not really the party type of guy."

"I don't know, I haven't figured that yet. But if he sees me outside of college then maybe he'll actually talk to me." It seemed that your words didn't convince any of your friends. "Look just please try, I'll owe you one."

"Fine. But I can't promise anything."

*******

Jungkook's eyes goes back and forth from the mobile in his hand and to the thick white liquidy substance all over his sheets.

The picture displayed on his phone was one of your recent pictures you've uploaded on Instagram. It was a picture of you laying on a beach towel, sunbathing, it was nothing scandalous, just a simple picture of you in a bathing suit.

He closes his eyes out of shame. This was the third day in a row that Jungkook had masturbated to you and he has never felt so ashamed of himself, he felt like he was objectifying you and it was very wrong.

He quickly takes a Kleenex from the nightstand and wipes himself clean. It wasn't like he hadn't tried other things, he had. He tried watching porn, hentai, anything that would keep him going but unfortunately it was only you that made him hard anymore.

Jungkook then carefully tucks his still sensitive cock back in his sweatpants and laid back down in his bed. It was 10:00 on a Saturday morning and he was just so glad that at least he wouldn't have to face you for two days. He was going to spend these two days doing anything that would get his mind off you.

Your picture was still open on the screen of his phone and it compelled him to scroll further. It seemed that you were pretty popular on Instagram, and you didn't even post anything other than photos of yourself and sometimes your friends.

His thumb stopped scrolling when it came across a particular selfie. You were making a cute face at the camera and you were clearly sitting on a guy's lap whose face could not be seen. His face was hidden in the crook of your neck, only silver hair visible. Jungkook's eyes narrowed in on the picture, taking notice of every single detail. Was it somebody you dated in the past? Or was it just one of your friends? You do seem awfully close to your friends.

He felt a weird pang in his chest looking at the picture. It wasn't an old picture at least it was uploaded recently, only 6 days ago to be exact. And if you were already seeing someone why would you approach him and ask him out on a date?

Overwhelmed by his sudden feelings, Jungkook shut his phone and threw it against his mattress. C'mon JK, you need to stop thinking about her.

To pull him out of his thoughts filled with you, the doorbell of his apartment rang twice. Jungkook waited on his bed thinking his roommate could open the door, it's not like he himself gets any visitors anyway.

The doorbell rang again and he stood up from his bed, a little annoyed because he was planning to spend a few more hours in bed.

"Hyung?" The sight of Wonwoo behind the door surprised Jungkook a little. His brother has visited his apartment only twice, once when he was looking for an apartment and once when he helped him move in, that's it. So seeing him on his doorstep all of a sudden surprised him.

"Hey, Guk. What's up?" Jungkook opens the door wide enough to welcome him in and shuts the door behind them. There was not much age difference between the two Jeons, Wonwoo was only a little more than a year older than Jungkook. But Wonwoo always treated Jungkook like a kid, and not in a good way. At first it was endearing when Jungkook was actually a kid, but now it was just annoying.

"What are you doing here, Hyung?"

"Yah, can't I visit my brother? Eomma called this morning, she said you're not picking up her calls," Oh right, there was a reason Jungkook wasn't picking up his mother's calls and he wasn't proud of it. "I was around here so I thought I'd see what you're up to."

"Yeah, I was going to call her back. I was doing... something." At the suspicious raised eyebrow given to him by his brother he came up with an better excuse. "Working out. I was working out." Wonwoo doesn't need to know that he just spent an entire morning dreaming of you and touching himself.

"Working out huh? I see you've already built some muscles, little Kookie." There it was again, the condescending tone and the 'little Kookie' like he was some damn kid learning how to ride a bike.

"Is there something else you want, Hyung?" Jungkook asked politely. Yes Jungkook hated him time to time but it was still his older brother and he respected him.

"Nah, now that I know you're not dead, I can go back."

"Ok. I'll call Eomma and let her know you stopped by."

As Wonwoo was in front of the door ready to leave he stopped in his tracks and turned around.

"Hey, Gguk,"

"Yeah?"

"There's a party tonight at one of my teammates place, umm do you wanna go with me and the boys?" Jungkook was almost shocked at his question. He was always under the impression that his brother was somewhat embarrassed of his nerd younger brother, and now he wants him to come to a party with him and 'the boys'?

"What?" He asked as if the question wasn't clear to him.

"Namjoon suggested that you could do some socializing. And this party is just perfect, everyone goes every semester, even students from your department. And it's also not THAT wild."

"I don't know, Hyung. I'm not really a party person."

"I know. That's what I said. But he's right, a little socializing never hurts anyone. And if it's too much for you, you can always come back."

"I'll think about it."

"Ok, bro. Let me know whenever you change your mind."

*******

You can't recall the last instance you felt this thrilled about a college party. Yes they were fun and you got to get high and drunk with your friends and then you'd find a hot guy and sleep with him, but it was all becoming monotonous now. The same shit all the time. But this time it was different, there was a possibility that Jungkook could be there and that made you...excited?

You also can't remember the last time you went to a party and didn't get high right away.

"So what did Wonwoo say? Will he bring Jungkook?" You asked Namjoon who was sitting across from you on a chair with his girlfriends on his lap.

"Babe, its not even 11 yet, give 'em some time." Jimin said offering you the joint which you refused with a shake of your head.

You were currently sitting on Jimin's lap because you don't trust any furniture in these frat houses. God knows who has been there and done what. It has become a regular occurrence now. Whenever you went to these parties your only seat was your friend's lap, because these dresses ain't cheap.

"Wait, did you dress up all pretty for him?" asked Jennie, sipping that fruit punch that was spiked so many times with different alcohols that you were sure it was poisonous now. Instead of going for the 'hot girl' look tonight you decided to wear something that would make you look 'beautiful'.

The anticipation of Jungkook's arrival tonight was gradually diminishing. Positioned where you were, you had a clear view of the front door, yet there was no sign of Jungkook or his brother. Just as you were about to turn to Jimin to express your disappointment once more, a familiar tuft of fluffy hair caught your attention.

Your face instantly lit up at the sight of the boy. And of course Jungkook looked as cute as always if not more. You notice how he was wearing a black dress shirt and gray pants instead of his usual oversized tees and trousers.

"Should I go over right now or should I wait?" You asked your friends and they turned to look at the boy.

"I say wait at least 20 minutes. You don't wanna look desperate."

"Hobi, I've been following the guy for days. I don't think one can look any more desperate than that."

"True."

"I should go ask him for a drink."

"I'm pretty sure there's no bubble tea here." Jimin commented making the rest of the circle laugh.

"Ha ha, very funny. Suck a dick."

Jungkook looked very out of the place when you walked up to him. He didn't notice you until you were right in front of him.

"Hi, I didn't know you'd be here."

On the other hand, Jungkook wasn't particularly surprised to find you here. In fact, while getting ready, he had imagined the possibility of encountering you at least twenty times, playing out scenarios in his head about how he would react and what he would say. His gaze subtly traced over your figure, clad in a white glittery dress with a sweetheart neckline.

"You look handsome," you complimented him, noting the slight flush that colored his cheeks. It was the first time you had really taken notice of his muscular arms. Those t-shirts he typically wore to college certainly didn't do justice to his physique at all.

'You-You look pretty, as well."

"You think so?" you asked, giggling. You've always been aware that you're quite attractive; confidence has always been your strong suit. However, hearing the words coming from Jungkook—the boy who had never even acknowledged you—gave you a whole new sense of conviction.

"Yes."

"Thanks. Are you here with someone?"

"Umm, yes, my- my brother was suppose to meet me here."

"Maybe I can wait with you until you find him?"

"No, its ok. You should get back to your friends."

"No, please. Let me?" Jungkook couldn't quite pinpoint the reason—whether it was the fact that you were meeting outside of college, the way you looked, or the guilt that Jungkook couldn't shake off—but when you asked with that look on your face, he couldn't say no. "Okay, Kook, let's go get you some drinks," you said, taking the lead.

As you held his hand and pulled him further inside the house, it sent shivers throughout his body. Jungkook still couldn't believe that someone like you would actually take the time to entertain him, especially right now when you could just be with your friends and enjoy your time.

"You're okay with alcohol, right?" you asked, turning to face Jungkook as you both stood in front of a large table filled with all kinds of alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. With so many people surrounding the table, the gap between your back and his chest was practically nonexistent.

"Yeah, but. Nothing too strong."

"The fruit punch is out of question then." Jungkook looked at the big glass jar that looked too pink to be consumable. "I'm gonna make you a __ special."

"A __ special? What's that?"

"A few months ago I accidently made this cocktail and it tastes amazing. You're gonna love it." You said already looking for the ingredients.

"What's in it?"

"Mostly Pineapple juice and tequila, but there's my secret ingredient, that I've never told anyone." You said, pouring the pineapple juice in the red cup. "Its actually red-bull, but promise me you'll never tell anyone." You handed him your invention proudly and he couldn't help but smile at the evident excitement on your face.

"Ok." He said, sniffing the liquid before taking a sip.

"How is it?" Horrible, it was horrible, Jungkook has never tasted anything this bad in his entire life. But that smile on your face, Jungkook could never let down that smile on your face.

"Its good."

"Right?" You said, making a drink for yourself, well, just pouring neat vodka in a cup.

"Do you go to college parties regularly?"

"Well, the first two years I did. But then it became boring, so we only attend sometimes, when we have nothing else to do."

"This is actually my first time." he admitted and it made you smile that he was finally talking to you without stuttering.

"Yeah? What made you come to this one."

"My hyun- my brother said it would be good for me to socialize a little."

"I hope you're not regretting your decision so far."

"I'm- I'm not."

Silence enveloped both of you for the next few seconds, neither knowing what to say next. You had been so focused all this time on getting Jungkook to talk to you that you hadn't considered what you would talk about if you actually had a conversation. You and Jungkook had almost nothing in common.

Jungkook, on the other hand, remained skeptical about the whole situation. Ok, there might be a slight chance that you weren't orchestrating all of this to make fun of him with your friends and that you genuinely wanted to get to know him. But did that mean that everything he had ever heard about you was a lie? Or were you just putting up a front?

"Its really noisy in here, would you like to go to the backyard or something?" you asked in hopes of getting some alone time with the boy in front of you.

"Umm, I'm not sure, my brother would be looking for me." The entire world knows by now that Jungkook's brother will not give two damns if he got lost in this party but he's already done enough socializing for one day.

"Oh come on, Jungkook. I promise I won't try anything funny." the younger boy almost chuckled at the look on your face.

"Okay, I guess it won't hurt anyone." you did a little victory dance in your head before holding his hand in your unoccupied one and dragging him out of the now crowded house.

*******

"No way, you watch Anime?" after a few minutes of awkwardly walking around in the garden Jungkook and you finally fell into a conversation, although his sentences still don't consist of many words you counted this as a win.

"Yes, why is it so hard for you to believe that I watch anime and listen to heavy metal?"

"I don't know...y-you just don't seem like the type."

Jungkook had constructed a specific image of you in his mind based on all the things he had heard from his brother, friends, and people in general. So far, none of the things you had revealed about yourself fit into that image at all.

From everything Jungkook had heard, you didn't seem like the type of person to enjoy heavy metal or comic books, or engage in anything even remotely described as nerdy or boring. You were supposed to be this big mean girl who burned everything that came into contact with her; you weren't supposed to be approachable or relatable.

"What type do I seem like then?" You asked with genuine curiosity in your eyes, you were not offended that he dared to assume shit about you, you just wanted to see yourself from his eyes.

"Someone who would... laugh at my face if I tell her how much I love comic books."

"What? Why would I do that?" you asked with a laugh that made your eyes go small and cheeks fluffier. Jungkook swear he has not heard a prettier laughter. "You know what, if you get to-" Before you could complete your sentence you were cut off by the loud noise of your drunk 'Friend'.

"Oh, there she is," Jay stumbled on his way to you. When he reached you two you saw Jungkook visibly cringe at how much he stank of alcohol and weed.

"What do you want, Jay?" It wasn't really new for him to get crazy drunk at parties and approach you, but what really annoyed you was him interrupting the moment between you and Jungkook.

"Oh you are with the nerd." His eyes went to Jungkook who was looking at him with his doe eyes. "So did you finally have him? Are you bored yet?"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Jay? Leave us alone."

"Us? There is an 'us'?" he asking pointing his finger at you and Jungkook.

"Its none of your business."

"You? You seriously think you can change this slut? You fucking nerd, she's just gonna use you and throw you away like a tissue, you are nothing, literally nothing." He was now talking to Jungkook and standing too close to him for his comfort. You eyes were widening at his words.

"Jay what the fuck is wrong with you, get the fuck away from him." You had successfully pulled him enough away from Jungkook to get yourself in the middle. "I swear to god, you are going to regret this tomorrow so walk away."

"Or what? Your lap dog will come after me? Tell me do you let Jimin fuck you for all the service he does?" You were now absolutely disgusted with his words.

You looked back at Jungkook and saw him backing away, his eyes were on the ground, his face mimic the disgusted look on yours, you just don't know if it was for you or Jay.

"Jungkook, please don't listen to him, he's drunk and-"

"I-I'm, I'm just, I'm gonna head back. I'll see—" Without completing his sentence, Jungkook rushed back inside the house, presumably to leave through the front door.

"You FUCKING IDIOT, I swear to god if you ever come near me I'll fuck you up, I hate you. Do you not understand that I do not want you. Can't you get that through that thick skull of yours?" after ranting you quickly rushed after Jungkook not noticing the other man looking at you as if you just ruined his night and not the other way around.

"Jungkook stop," you called out guiding yourself through the sweaty bodies dancing and grinding and what not. "Please, just listen to me."

Taking advantage of his long legs and large steps, Jungkook was almost out of the front door and out of your sight. Just as you were about to cross the threshold, somebody threw a whole glass of fruit punch all over you.

"Oh my god, I'm sooo sorry-" You looked as the girl in front of you and if you were not in such a hurry you would bring another glass just to pour it down her head.

"It's okay." When you were out on the front yard, Jungkook was no where to be seen. You sighed in frustration, Jungkook was finally opening up to you and that rat just had to ruin-

"What happened to your dress?" Came a soft voice.

"You didn't leave yet." You smiled in relief.

"I was about to, I just- thought I should check on you first. He seemed pretty drunk."

"Look Jungkook, whatever he said, I'm very sorry about it. He shouldn't said that about you-"

"And what about you?"

"Huh?"

"He said worse things about you."

"Well... I'm pretty sure you have heard that before about me."

"I did. A lot."

"Look what he said to you was way out of line and I'm just so mad at him-"

"And why are you not mad at him for what he said about you?" His question confused you a lot.

"Because I'm used to it."

"Why?"

"I-I don't know. Jungkook, I know you are mad at what he said, but I swear to god, its not like that with you, I'm not-"

"I am, I am mad at what he said but not about me, I am mad at what he said about you and I am more mad that you let him."

"It's nothing, I don't really care."

"You should," he said calmly, "you should care, if you're really not what people say then you should stand up for yourself." with that he turned around to walk away from the house.

"Wait," he turned around. "Are you really going to leave me here like this? I am drenched."

******

Jungkook's room was cute, just like him—warm and cozy. Surprisingly, it was cleaner than what you expected a guy's room to be, except for a few pieces of clothes thrown over his gaming chair.

"Here, you can change into this?" Jungkook said handing you a big black t-shirt of his and his boxer briefs.

It was safe to say that Jungkook was completely freaking out right now. He had never had a girl at his place, and now he not only had 'any' girl but you roaming around in his room with your delicate feet in that tiny pink-stained white dress of yours.

"Can I use the shower?" you asked and he pointed to the brown door behind you.

As soon as you were behind the door he let out a loud breath that he was holding in ever since you started following him to his place.

When he was going out tonight he was only supposed to stay for 10-15 minutes and comeback to finish his paused video game. He had no intention whatsoever to bring a girl back let alone you out of all people.

Its not that Jungkook hates the idea of you in his shower, naked. Its that even the idea of it makes him all hot and bothered.

Jungkook looks back to the time 20 minutes ago, he could have booked you a cab for your own place but when you looked all innocent and helpless he couldn't help but utter those four words.

"Are you really going to leave me here like this? I am drenched."

"I live near by."

And that is how you ended up naked in his bathroom. Just a wooden door away.

Looking around his room, he quickly made sure there was no embarrassing thing left on any surface. With his shaking hands, he tidied up his room a little, stuffing everything in his closet— it was now future Jungkook's problem. However, Jungkook's immediate concern was the very visible tent in his gray pants.

Dammit, when did he get a hard on? Was it the thought of you naked in his bathroom, or was it your clearly very wet dress, or was it when you asked him if you could shower, or was it when he first saw you in this evening.

Maybe if he changed into some loose sweatpants, it wouldn't be very noticeable, so he did. Without taking a shower or cleaning himself of tonight's chaos, he quickly changed into his black sweatpants and a t-shirt similar to the one he gave you.

You couldn't believe you were inside Jungkook's shower, you personally thought that showers were a little too intimate, you have never showered at any of your hookup's place. In fact the last time you used a man's shower was when you were with Yoongi.

Now here you were in Jungkook's bathroom, looking at one of the most private parts of his life. The kind of shower gel he uses, the color of his toothbrush everything was too intimate and left you feeling giddy in your stomach. Not to mention you were wearing his clothes.

His t-shirt was too loose on you, your shoulders were tiny compared to his broad once, t-shirt was almost falling below your mid thigh whereas his hips were so petite that his boxers were a little tight on you.

You took a palm full of cold water and threw it on your face in hopes that your cheeks would cool down a little. Once you opened the door and went outside you saw Jungkook in different clothes sitting on his bed with two bowls in his hands.

When the boy looked up at you, you could see his cheeks visibly flush red. If only you could read his mind you would know how much in awe he was right now.

Jungkook had always known that you were pretty, it was no secret from the whole world, people simped after you for a reason. But right now, in his clothes, with your face bare of any makeup you were absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous.

"I- ummm... I heat up some pasta from lunch... hope you don't mind leftovers." His voice was once again too small. Like he lost all the confidence you saw back there in the party.

"No, Thank you so much. I was hungry." You said taking a seat beside him and taking the bowl from his hand. You let out a tiny moan after taking the first bite. "This is delicious, did you make this." He only nod his head in answer.

The next few minutes were spent as you two ate in silence, enjoying the meal he cooked. Your mind went back to what he said to you at the party.

"Jungkook?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you really think that I should care about what people say about me?"

"Not people. I just think that you let your friends take you for granted. A lot. If they really are your friends they wouldn't talk shit about you like that."

This is the biggest sentence you heard Jungkook saying till now, that too without stuttering. You smiled at him and he got shy again. the tip of his ears along with the apple of his cheeks started flushing.

"What?"

"Nothing, just. Ever since Yoongi and I broke up, i kind of took on that whole 'it girl' role. And I don't really care about what people say or call me and maybe that's why none my friends care either, but... it feels nice to have someone get mad on your behalf."

When Jungkook looked at your eyes and the little smile on your face he could finally see you, not the girl people describe and not the girl his brother seemed to hate so much, he could see you, he couldn't understand if you were the same person who supposedly hurt so many people and broke so many hearts.

You noticed how his eyes traveled to your lips and then back to your eyes.

"I am... You can sleep here, I-I'll just take the couch in the hall."

"Its okay, i guess... we can share a bed."

You suggestion almost made him hiccup. He is almost 23 years old and he has never shared a bed with another woman, well beside his mom and cousins obviously.

"Umm, no its okay...I can just take the couch." Truth was that Jungkook wasn't sure if he will be able to breath properly if he slept beside you.

"Come on Jungkook, I won't bite." You said while putting your hand on his shoulder, as soon as you hand touched him he jumped up from the bed as if you shocked him.

"Goodnight, if you need anything just wake me up...or whatever." With that he picked up a pillow and left the room.

*******

The next day, when Jungkook walked into his Psychology class, you were already sitting there, waving your hand at him and patting the empty seat beside you. Of course, Jimin was on your other side, looking more uninterested than ever.

Jungkook wasn't aware that you were in the same class; he had never noticed you before. He began searching for another seat to avoid being distracted by you throughout the class. However, he couldn't find any available seats that weren't at the back.

"Hi Jungkook." You said once he finally settled down beside you but received no reply from the boy and it made you frown, was he seriously going to pretend that nothing happened last night, like those few minutes of bonding were nothing.

"I recently transferred classes." You informed him about the tiny detail. "You have to help me with whatever that's been going on." you said as he silently put down his stuff beside you. He sat down without doing much to acknowledge your existence but you looked around and saw there were many vacant seats in the hall and he chose to sit beside you, so he's not completely ignoring you or anything.

"I don't understand a single thing this man is saying." you exclaimed quietly but loud enough.

"Yes, and thanks to you we are stuck here." Jimin rolled his eyes beside you.

"Can you please help me catch up after lecture?" You looked at Jungkook.

"Since when do you care about academics?" Jungkook asked while writing down whatever the old man was saying.

"Since now. Pretty please?" The boy looked at you as you batted your eyelashes and sighed.

"Fine. I don't have any other class after this, I can help you study."

You almost exclaimed loudly but then recalled how rude and unfiltered Mr. Hastings was so you sat quietly for the rest of the lecture.

Once the lecture finally ended and you saw Jungkook preparing to get out of the class, you quickly got up to follow him. "I'll see you guys at the cafe ok?" you told your best friend and without waiting for a reply ran after Jungkook.

"Where are we going?"

"To the library."

"I thought you don't have any classes after this. Neither do I. Why can't we just leave?" You whined, feeling slightly irritated by his unexpected behavior. It's not like his behavior was new—he'd been like this from the beginning. But after last night, you really thought something had shifted. You didn't just imagine everything, did you? This morning he even made you a breakfast sandwich and arranged an Uber for you.

"I like studying in the library." Of course he does!

"Let's just go to your place." You said while trying and failing to drag him with you. 'Wow, he sure is pretty strong' "Come on, Jungkook. Pleaseeeee! I hate that library, Its so silent and cold."

Jungkook bit his lips while contemplating your offer. 'God you are so irresistible' Last night Jungkook almost forgot about all the promises he made to his brother. His beliefs towards you were slowly changing, he knew you were not the monster everyone made you to be, quite the opposite actually. Still, he believed hanging with you was like walking on burning coals, he was ought to get burned.

Jungkook didn't say anything. He just let you happily drag him out of this dreadful campus. He thinks he has spent the whole night alone with you at his place without letting himself lose control, he's pretty sure he can do a few more hours.

*******

Somehow this afternoon Jungkook was much less nervous than last night. Thank god he decided to clean the whole place right after you left. You were sitting on his bed with your pretty legs under your butt as your wide eyes looked up at him.

"Do you want anything to drink?"

"Just water." He nodded and left to grab a bottle from his kitchen.

'Calm down Jungkook, you are just gonna help her study and then she's gonna leave'. Wiping his sweaty palms on his sweatshirt Jungkook reentered his room only to find you out of the cardigan that was covering you, leaving you only in a beige camisole and a pair of white shorts.

"I hope you don't mind. Your room's kinda warm"

"Its okay. Water." He handed you the bottle with almost shaky hand.

"Thanks."

"We should start, if you wanna cover all the topics before Mr. Hastings gives off assignments. He's pretty brutal while checking the papers."

For the next half and hour or so Jungkook has gone through 5 pages of his notes with you, or maybe 3; you weren't really counting. You would be lying if you said that you understood everything that came out of his pretty mouth, Psychology was not really one of the hardest subjects that you chose but he was just too pretty for you to focus on any thing besides him.

"You are not focusing." Jungkook said blatantly as you sat in front of him on his bed, giving him heart eyes while he just poured his heart to you about the schools of psychology.

"I totally am, I just listened to everything you said, and I totally agree."

"Really? Then which school emphasizes the role of unconscious conflicts, early childhood experiences, and defense mechanisms in the development of psychological disorders?"

"Ummm...the middle school?"

"NO the psychodynamic school." this was the first time you were seeing Jungkook speaking so loudly and passionately about something, and honestly it was a turn on. "Did you listen to anything I just said?"

"Sorry, I promise I'll focus from now on."

"Do, you want to take a break?" You were surprised that Jungkook was the first one who suggested to take a break and not you.

"Yeah sure, What should we do?" You asked suggestively knowing very well that Jungkook will not even think about the million things that you want to do to him right now but a girl can always hope right?

"Umm, I have video games, if you wanna play? Or we can watch anime." both the options were way different from what you were hinting so you took the matters in your own hand.

"Or..." You scooched closer to the boy, "We could make out." All the oxygen from Jungkook's body left him right there. His whole face was suddenly red and hot and he had no idea if you were just joking or if you were serious.

"Y-you want to do that?"

"You don't?" Of course he did, that is all he had thought about ever since you started talking to him.

"Wh-why me?" His question made you laugh lightly.

"Jungkook. Is it not painfully obvious that I am attracted to you?" As a matter of fact you have never tried hiding that you have a crush on him, not from him, not from anybody. So you were not sure why he was so surprised by your confession.

"But why me?" It broke you heart that he was not aware of how painfully gorgeous he was.

"Because-" You moved closer and removed his iPad from his hands , practically sitting on his lap. "I think you are the most gorgeous and sweetest person I've ever met in my entire life." You slowly reached for his face with your right hand removing his glasses, testing the waters. You would never do anything that would make him even slightly uncomfortable. "And you have beautiful eyes. Is this Ok?" Jungkook's voice was caught in his throat, all he could offer you was a nod which made you giggle.

"Do you want me to continue?" The conscious side of his brain was saying no, reasoning with him, what would he tell his brother? But his body was possessed, possessed by lust and the touch of your soft hands. His hands were suddenly involuntarily reaching out for you, he was craving to touch you, hold you and finally kiss you.

"Yes, please."

"As you wish, baby boy." Your lips finally met his soft ones and he felt like he has reached euphoria. He had completely lost control over his body. His hand grabbed you by the waist as hard as he could without hurting you and pulled you onto his laps.

His heart was beating so loudly that he was scared he would go into a cardiac arrest. The first few strokes of his lips were a little awkward, considering it was not a daily occurrence for him like you but after a few soft kisses his lips found the perfect rhythm with yours.

You smiled into the kiss as he slowly gained confidence and started kissing you more fiercely. His kisses were so soft and smooth that it felt like you have been kissing him daily. Soon you felt him opening his mouth a little wider so you took the opportunity and slipped in your tongue, he tasted like strawberries and mint, reminding you of his sweet taste in beverages.

"Wow!" you exclaimed as soon as he pulled away for some air. "You are a great kisser."

"T-thank you, so are you."

"Aww don't get shy now." you said pointing at the pink hue rising up his neck and to his cheeks. "So? you want to continue or you want to go back to studying?" You asked half seriously, hoping to god he wouldn't choose the second option.

"I think you've studied enough for today."

You let out a tiny giggle before crashing your lips again on his. You took his hand and dragged it up your chest, granting him permission to touch you. his hand stayed there for a second before giving your breast a tiny squeeze, pulling out a moan from you.

It wasn't much later that you started grinding your hips against his, feeling his very prominent boner through his pants. After a few circular motion of your hips, he was a moaning mess in your hands.

His shaky hands started pulling at your top with urgency, wanting to feel more of your exposed skin. You helped him take off your top and he sat still for a moment, looking at your breast like a little kid looking at a carnival.

"You wanna touch them?" You asked, guiding his hand to the hook of your bra and he nodded very eagerly. After the little piece of cloth came off his lips didn't waste a single second before coming in contact with your nipple, sucking on it as if it had the cure of all diseases. His tongue did a fantastic job making you whimper and moan on his lap.

"Oh my god, baby, you are so good at this." you cried holding the back of his head and guiding his mouth to all the right places.

Your lips wanted to taste him again so you did and this time he was the most confident. You had no idea how his kisses improved so much in a matter of few minutes, but you were not complaining. His tongue explored every corner of your mouth and his lips sucked in yours like a candy.

It was your turn now to pull at his t-shirt until it was thrown away in another corner of his room and there was no barrier between both of your upper bodies.

You sat there for a few seconds, admiring the view. He really was gorgeous, he was lean but very muscular, you knew he was hiding something delicious under all those baggy clothes.

Your fingertips ran along the smooth honey like skin until they reached the hem of his sweatpants. You looked up at his face asking for permission. He looked a little nervous.

"I want to suck your cock, Jungkook. I promise it will feel nice." He contemplated your offer for a few seconds before finally nodding his head yes and you gave him another kiss out of joy.

You didn't waste too much time before pulling his sweatpants and briefs down his thighs. His cock spring up at your touch making you almost drool. You have had sex with a lot of men A LOT, but you swear that you have never seen a prettier dick. Or maybe it looked so pretty because of the man it was attached to.

You leaned down and left tiny kisses along his thighs making his cock angrier and darker. It was so thick that you couldn't wrap your whole hand around it. You could already imagine how good it would feel inside you.

As soon as you gave a kitten lick on the tip, Jungkook let out a loud groan.

"Ple-please."

"Please what baby?"

"Please __, do something. It feels so nice."

You let out another giggle at his desperation and decided not to torture him any further. His one hand supported him up from the bed as the other one grabbed your head and pushed it further down, making you swallow his cock until it reached the back of your throat.

His precum tasted like butter, smooth and salty. You looked up at the boy while bobbing your head up and down, his eyes were closed and mouth was hung open as he moaned your name again and again like a mantra.

Your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, what you couldn't fit in your mouth as your tongue constantly licked the head. His orgasm came without any warning, hitting your chest and face and your quickly wrapped your mouth around the tip in order to not waste any more of it. It would be such a shame to waste the cum from such a pretty cock.

You swallowed all his load and giggle when you looked at his expression. He looked like he was about to ask you to marry him.

"I'm sorry, i should have warned you." He said and you followed his eyes to the droplets of cum sitting prettily between both your breasts.

"Its ok, I like surprises." You said taking his t-shirt that he handed you to wipe his cum.

His eyes couldn't seem to look away from you. You've always been beautiful, but at this moment, you looked otherworldly. With your tousled hair and nearly bare face, he had never encountered anyone more stunning. When he kissed you this time, he was entirely confident; it was brief yet filled with intense passion.

"Teach me?" You looked at him confusingly.

"I want to do something for you, please you, make you--... I want to make you cum, teach me how to." You smiled at his request.

"Maybe some other time. You look tired right now, lets take a nap."

Some other time. You said 'some other time', does that mean it was not a one time deal with him.

He nodded at your suggestion and pulled up his sweatpants and briefs. Just as you were about to get up from his bed to give him his privacy his hand pulled you to his chest and wrapped around you tightly.

"Sleep with me?" He pleaded with a soft voice and you obliged happily.

As you slipped into slumber Jungkook couldn't help but wonder, was this post orgasm bliss that he was experiencing or did something just shift inside him? He suddenly felt anger towards his brother, towards everyone who has ever spoken ill about you.

It seemed impossible that someone so mean could be so sweet to him alone. He wanted to protect you, even though he knew he wasn’t strong enough. Still, he would do everything he could to ensure that no one ever harmed you.

******

When you woke up from your nap it was pretty dark outside Jungkook's window, you don't know how many hours you slept but it was one hell of a sleep.

Jungkook was still sound asleep, his head on your chest and arms wrapped around your waist. You smiled to your self once you heard him snore. 'wow even he snores so prettily'.

You wanted to pee so bad but you were unable to even move under him. You laid there for a few more minutes not wanting to wake him up but the urge to take a leak just became unbearable.

"Jungkook..." You shook him slightly, "Baby, I need to use the restroom."

"Why?" He asked in his sleepy voice making you laugh.

"Why? Why do people use the toilet, silly?"

"Just do it on the bed."

"EW, Jungkook no."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He laughed before getting up and you ran to the bathroom as soon as you were free.

'Did Jungkook just make a joke.' You thought as you sat down on the toilet. It was the first time you were watching this side of Jungkook, he was always either too nervous to talk to you or too irritated. You were happy though, that he could finally be himself around you.

After you cleaned yourself and walked back inside the room Jungkook was already dressed in fresh clothes and you missed his bare chest.

"Here," he handed you a grey t-shirt. "It is clean." You were surprised as he pulled you closer to him and pecked your lips. Neither of you spoke about your departure from his place and acted like it was daily occurrence for you to spend so much time at his flat.

"So? Should we continue with our lesson?" he asked pulling you down on his lap.

"Do we have to?"

"I mean, if you want to pass his class then yes."

"Or we can think about it later and do something fun."

"How about, we study for an hour and then you could choose any game that you want to play, I have 278 games that you can choose from."

"Oh my god, 278?" You asked with wide eyes and he nodded his head. "Wow you are a nerd."

"Guilty."

You agreed with his deal and he also promised to treat you with food after the study session.

You have to admit that studying was fun with Jungkook. His concepts were so clear that he made them sound very easy to you and by the end of the hour you were proud that you finally learned something today.

"Wow that was very easy, I have no idea how that man makes all of this sound so fucking boring. You know what you should be a lecturer."

"You think so?"

"Actually no, that is a very bad idea. Nobody will listen to a single thing that you say"

"Why?"

"They will be too busy looking at that pretty face." You said in all seriousness and he started blushing again.

"Okay so you wanna play FIFA?"

*******

"Wow you are smiling, A LOT." Jimin said and gave you a side eye as you happily sipped on your matcha tea.

"I'm always smiling."

"You are, but today it looks like your face got stuck with a hanger inside."

"That's because I am happy?"

"Why? What did you smoke?"

"Nothing, can't I be happy sober."

"You can, but you are only this happy when you smoke good weed."

"Let's go its time for class." You said getting up from the couch and pulling Jimin up with you.

"Seriously what happened to you? You want to go to class again?"

"If you don't come, I'll go by myself." Your threat seemed to work on him as he rolled his eyes and started following.

"What did this Jungkook guy do to you? Did he make you join some geeks cult? Blink twice for yes." Jimin joked as both of you made your way to Mr. Aitken's hall.

"Why is it so hard to believe that I want to study and attend my classes?"

"Yeah right, you also want to bake a pie and become a housewife."

When you enter hall SF22 your eyes immediately started looking for Jungkook and they lit up as soon as they spotted him. He seemed to have noticed you as he patted at the empty seat beside him with a shy smile.

"Let's go, Chimmy."

"You want to sit in the front?"

"Yeah why not."

"Maybe its time for me to switch best friends."

"As anyone else would tolerate you beside me. Hi, Jungkook." You said as you sat down beside him at glared at Jimin when he didn't greet him.

"Hey man." Jungkook immediately nodded at him and return his greeting.

Jungkook wondered if anyone in this hall could figure out that you spent the entire night at his place and made out with him till the dawn. What if they found out though? Would they mock him? Would they say more awful things about you? He hated being the center of attention, especially if it was for negative reasons, but he would still prefer people to talk shit about him rather than you.

Jungkook also wonders if you had the same feeling of despair as he did when you left this morning. He questioned whether everything that was happening effected you the way it did him.

Although the sweet smile that you gave him was reassuring enough he couldn't help but think if you would become bored of him sooner or later.

You on the other hand could practically see the wheels in his head turning around and he once again looked shy and nervous. What happened to the Jungkook you saw last night? the Jungkook that was confident enough to ask you to teach him how to make you cum.

"You okay?" You asked and before he nodded with another smile. You took his hand under the table and gave it a squeeze.

The lecture went by neither of you saying anything, But you made sure to rub his thigh every now and then.

Once the lecture was over he didn't leave like he usually did but instead waited for you to get up first, you took him by surprise when you held out your hand for him. Jimin looked at you with a questioning look, he wouldn't say that you were not a PDA person but he has never seen you hold hands with some beside him and maybe Yoongi when you guys were together.

"I'll meet you at the cafe, Jiminie." You told your best friend giving him a side hug which he gladly returned and left with your hands in Jungkook's. He was happy for you, yes a little jealous that he had to now share his time with you with some other guy but if you were happy he wanted nothing more than that.

"Where are we going?" You asked swinging your joined hands back and forth.

"The library."

You complained a bit, but you happily went along with him. It didn’t matter where he went; you’d probably follow him even to the dumpster. You couldn’t quite explain this overwhelming desire to spend all your time with him—it had never happened to you before, not even with Yoongi. You usually needed your personal space, but with Jungkook, it felt different; he was your personal space.

The library was much quieter than usual for a Friday morning. Only a few people lingered among the shelves and chairs, and they seemed indifferent to both of you, allowing Jungkook to exhale in relief.

He was about to sit on his usual spot but you dragged him farther inside the liberary.

"I know a spot," you said, noticing the questioning look on his face as you led him to the library's unexplored section. The books were coated in dust, suggesting that no one had been here in ages—perhaps because Celtic mythology was considered a forgotten topic. Jungkook had never seen this part of the library before, and you only came here to make out in peace.

"What is this section."

"Celtic Mythology and that is paleontology, nobody comes here. Ever."

"Why?"

"I don't know, probably because nobody reads them anymore."

"That's sad. These books must have been lonely for years," he said, his voice tinged with sadness as he traced his fingers along the spine of a book. He looked as pure as the first rays of morning sunlight. It was endearing how much he cared, even for the forgotten books.

"Why are we here?" he asked, his innocence making you want to tuck him away in your pocket and shield him from the world.

"I wanted to kiss you." You were blunt like always, taking his breath away from his lungs.

"You do?"

"Umhmm, don't you?"

"I do. Very much."

"Then what's stopping you? Kiss me."

"What if- what if someone walks in?"

"Nobody comes here, trust me. I'm pretty sure half of these people don't even know the existence of this section," You said pulling him closer to you. "So... You can do whatever you like, baby. Nobody would know." Your words were enough reassurance for him. He cupped your face with both of his hands and pulled you in for a sweet and short kiss.

"Can I... can I touch you here?" He questions, fingers hovering over your covered pussy and you nodded in excitement.

His hands were shaky as they slid under your skirt and caressed your wetness through your panties. His touch was so soft yet it sent a lightning inside your body making you shiver and almost lose your balance. If it wasn't for his other hand holding your waist you would have fell down.

You held his hand and guided it inside your panty. You became so wet in just a few seconds. Jungkook was eager so he did what he craved for, dipped two fingers in your arousal and pulled them out to suck on them. The site almost made you come right there.

You tasted delicious to him, just like how he imagined all those times he did the unholy while thinking of you. It was the perfect mixture of salty and sweet

You grabbed his neck and pulled him in an eager kiss. Lips clashing away at each other like it was a battle. His hand went back inside your underwear and wasted no time before pushing in two fingers. His thumb played your clit like a guitar.

You whimpered against his lips as his other hand went inside your crop top and squeezed you like a lemon. The more he tasted your cherry lip gloss the more he craved for it.

"Jung-... baby, I'm gonna cum." You warned him and he rubbed you even even faster. His two fingers buried so deep inside you that he could stroke your walls.

As you came down from your high your fingers started to immediately work on the buttons of his jeans.

Your mouth was watering at the thought of his cock. You wanted a taste again.

"__, somebody's gonna walk in." He said as you quickly pushed him against the bookshelf and pulled down his zipper.

"Shh... if you don't make any nose, nobody would know." You murmured against his lips that were now shining with your pink lip gloss. You slowly started pumping his cock that was now hard and hot against your hand. "Do you want me to make you cum?" He hesitantly nodded and you happily sunk down on your knees to take him in your mouth.

When your warm wet lips wrapped around the tip of his cock, Jungkook realized how hard it was going to be to stay silent.

*******

Spending the night in Jungkook's room has almost became a daily occurrence to you. It has been exactly three weeks since you first gave him the best orgasm of his life.

It was now like a daily schedule that you would go to his place after college and hang out with him, sometimes it would end in you on your knees, showing him the gates of heaven and sometimes it would end innocently with the two of you cuddling and talking about anything and everything.

You have not taken the next step yet, it wasn't that he never asked you to, you just wanted him to be completely sure before doing that.

There was one more thing, you were scared. Scared to take the next step with him. What if after you have sex with him you become bored. You know you like him too much but still, you were scared to break his heart. He was too innocent for that, you can never live with yourself if you ever made him sad.

Right now you were sitting on his bed with a gaming console in your hand whining at the fact that Jungkook would let you win.

It wasn't that you were bad at playing video games, it was that Jungkook was too good, you watched at the boy with a pout as he defeated your team for the third time in a row.

"Oh my god, what are you not good at?"

"I'm going easy on you."

"Such a show off." You said, playfully rolling your eyes.

"Let's play a game that you are good at."

"Ummm... Lets play Tekken."

"Ok." He obliged before putting on the game that you demanded. "What does winner gets?" He asked and you raised your eyebrow.

"Whatever they want."

"Whatever?"

"Whatever."

"I was gonna let you win but not anymore."

"Nooo, don't be mean, go easy on me."

"You ready?" He asked and you nodded, eyes squinting at focus as you looked at the TV screen. Jungkook felt a strange kind of serenity when he looked at you. Nobody ever has been so quick to tear down his walls. You not only tore down his wall but also made a home inside.

Nobody knows you, not really. They wouldn't say those things if they did. You were sweet, kind, beautiful inside out. You were mot even a single thing that people described you to be. Quite the opposite.

"Oh my god you lost!" You exclaimed all of a sudden pulling him out of the train of his thoughts. "Oh my god, I can't believe I won, I Won."

You got up from the bed and started jumping around, if an outsider looked they would think you won a lottery and not just a video game.

"Wait, did you let me win?" You stopped jumping and stood in front of him with a not-so-threatening pout.

"What? No. I would never, you are just so good at it."

"Of course, I am." You mockingly brushed of your shoulders and Jungkook decided right there that he was in love with you. Maybe it was too soon, maybe you wouldn't reciprocate it but he was utterly and madly in love with you. And he doesn't care if you don't love him back, he would love enough for the both of you.

"Ok now what do I get?" He would honestly give you both his kidneys if you asked but you didn't. "I want you to give me piggy back ride tomorrow between all my classes." Your choice of demand made him laugh.

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

"Huh, i thought you would ask for my PlayStation."

"Oh my god, I could have right? I want to change my wish."

"No, no take backs."

*******

Jungkook's roommate left town for a while so you decided to take advantage of it and make dinner for the two of you. Jungkook helped you with chopping all the veggies.

"Are you sure this is how it supposed to look."

"Are you calling my shrimps ugly?"

The poor little animals have become a little black inside the frying pan but you were sure they would taste good.

"No, not ugly, they just don't look..."

"What? Edible? Fine, I'm gonna eat it all by myself, don't come begging for a piece if it tastes heavenly." You were so confident in your creation that it reminded him of that night when you made him that 'special cocktail' that tasted like piss but he didn't have the heart to tell you that.

You don't remember the last time you hung out with someone this long that too without any alcohol or weed, and yet it was the most fun you had in a while. Jungkook made you feel emotions you thought you had lost touch with. Even with Yoongi, you had never experienced this kind of pure bliss. He made you feel whole, like you didn’t need drugs or sex to fill any emptiness. With Jungkook, there’s no pressure to uphold a certain image or look flawless. You can simply be yourself, and it’s enough to make you feel truly happy.

As you served the forbidden looking dish on both of the plates he pulled out his phone to snap a picture. You couldn't help but smile, striking a playful pose for the camera. The photos turned out great—you looked flawless. The shrimp, however, was undeniably inedible. But of course, he’d never admit that.

You spat out the content of your mouth into the dustbin.

"Oh my god. EW. Stop eating it. Its so salty i feel like i gulped acid."

"I think it tastes fine." Jungkook said chewing the burnt fish.

"Spit it out."

In the end, you decided to order pizza, and despite your insistence, Jungkook insisted on paying for it. You both settled on his bed, enjoying the pizza while watching a new anime he had introduced you to.

Despite the screen in front of you flashing with gore and violence, you’d never felt as at peace as you did in that moment. With your stomach full and your head resting on his warm, bare chest, his fingers gently weaving through your hair, everything felt perfectly calm.

"Jungkook?" You asked, your voice laced with curiosity.

"Hmm?"

"Why were you so scared of me before?" Your question made him pause, now that he think of it he doesn't seem to know the answer. Sure he still remembers all those horrible things he heard and regrettably believed about you but he doesn't know why he used to be so scared of this sweetest girl he has ever met that he couldn't even form a sentence without stuttering. You have never personally been mean to Jungkook nor has he ever seen you do anything remotely as horrible as people say.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"You were so pretty, and so far out of my league that maybe I thought it was a sin to just be in the same vicinity as you." His answer made you burst out laughing.

"What? Do you still believe that?"

"Do I believe that you are the prettiest girl I've ever seen? Yes."

"No do you still believe that I am out of your league and it is a sin to be with me?"

"Yes, if anyone in college finds out I'm cuddling with the __ __ they would sacrifice me."

"Stop joking, I'm serious. You can't think that I am out of your league or something."

"You are though."

"I am NOT."

"You could literally have any guy that you point your finger at."

"And here I am, laying in your bed, begging to suck your cock every other night." Your words made him twitch inside his boxers. "You are gorgeous, smart, funny and you make me feel so good, you can't possibly think that I am out of your league."

"You know, I used to... I used to think that you were asking me out to make fun of me." His confession made you laugh again.

"What? Really?"

"I mean... there was you and then there was me. I never thought I was your type. And I never really heard good things about you either"

"My god, people really think I'm the devil don't they?"

"Who cares what they think?"

"Hmm... What else did you hear about me?"

"Nothing that matters, what matters is who you really are. And you are the kindest and sweetest person ever and you give really good head." You burst out laughing again.

"Oh my god, you heard that as well?"

"Everyone did."

"Wow, I'm glad that we put that out of question."

The anime playing on the screen was long forgotten. The boy laying in your arms was far more interesting. You stared into each other's eyes for how long you don't really know, you know you can stare into them so much more longer.

*******

Making out with Jungkook felt like an habit now. You were currently laying under him in nothing but your underwear while the anime still plays in the background on mute.

No matter how many times you kiss him you can never not be surprised by how sweet his lips taste, just like him. His hands, gentle yet strong, groped every inch of your body like he was holding onto his life.

Jungkook pulled away from your lips, looking down at your body and a sudden fire burst through him. You were so beautiful that he couldn't get over the fact that you were under him. He must have done some really great work in his past life and he was now getting rewarded for it.

"What happed baby boy?" You ask pulling him out of his train of thougts.

"I want to please you."

"You are pleasing me."

"No... like you do it for me. I want to... I want to use my mouth." You smirked, it was always so cute when he stuttered.

"I don't understand, be more clear baby." You certainly do understand but it was so much fun teasing him.

"God, I want to eat you out, __. Can I?" Your words got lost in your throat so you nodded your head in affirmation.

Jungkook started kissing a very slow trail down your body make you almost die from anticipation. When his mouth finally came in contact with your bundle of nerves, your whole body started shivering.

"Oh god baby, that's right." His hand took yours and put it in his hair as if telling you to guide him. "Use your tongue." And like ever so obedient, he did.

His tongue was warm and even though it was his first time it felt very skillful. His tongue, licked up your juices in big and wide strokes. Pouty lips sucking in your clit every now and then.

"Now put a finger inside, baby." he followed your instruction almost immediately. Long thick finger sinking in your heat while his tongue licked you.

His other free hand went up to grab at your breast, squeezing and kneading the flesh and occasionally twisting your nipples.

With a last few rhythmic strokes of his tongue and finger you were cumming.

"I'm cumming, baby boy." Your words sounded like reward to his ears. His tongue out and mouth was open, ready to drink in everything that you were about to offer.

You have never squirted in your life and this boy who looks like, he has never even seen a pussy in his life just made you squirt in like 5 minutes. You wonder what more talents were he hiding.

"Come here, baby. I want you inside me." You said pulling him by his arms, closer to you. He was already so hard that your word made him feel like he was going to pop a vessel on his dick.

You changed your position and now he was under you while you pulled out a condom from your purse and rolled it on his cock without wasting another minute.

This scene in front of Jungkook was a little too familiar, he has dreamt of this exact moment only every other night ever since you started talking to him.

Your hands guiding his to your chest and you slowly sunk down on him, your warm pussy fitted his cock like a glove. Like they were made for each other. A loud whine left Jungkook's lips as soon as you settled on his dick.

"I've dreamt of this so many times." His arousal has turned off all his filters, his confession made you smirk.

"You did? SO naughty. And you dare to act like you are the most innocent guy on this planet."

"It was because of you, you make me think all those lewd things."

"Oh yeah? Did you touch yourself after waking up?" You asked as you slowly started jumping up and down in a perfect rhythm and his words got caught in his throat. "tell me, baby. Did you?"

"Yesss... Aghh fuckkk.. Everytime."

"Mhmm. God you feel so good. Was your hand as good as my pussy?"

"No, Noth-- Ahh.. Nothing compares to this. Your pussy is so good." He cried out in pleasure as both of your rode close to your orgasms.

"Tell me, baby. What else did you dream about?"

"I- I dreamt... About you riding my face."

"You would like that wouldn't you?"

"Please... I love your pussy so much."

"Rub my clit, Jungkook." Jungkook did as told and started rubbing your clit with his thumb.

"I'm about to cum." He cried out.

"Me too baby, just hold for a few seconds."

After a few more seconds of riding his heavenly dick you both were finally coming down from your high. Lips finding each others as soon as you were done. Your bodies seemed to have calmed down as you gave each other slow and deep kisses.

"Wow, that... That was the best sex I've ever had. And I'm not just saying it, Jungkook." Jungkook's face turned pink at the compliment. Honestly he never thought he would last this long if he ever had the chance to have sex with you. "Did you like it as well?" He was shy again all of a sudden.

"Yes. I would... I would like to do it again."

"Me too, baby me too, but lets get some sleep right now."

After you you both cleaned up and jumped into his bed, you realized how tired you became. Your eyes closed as soon as your head rested on his chest.

Once your breath turned even and you fell asleep, or Jungkook thought you fell asleep he pressed his lips against your forehead and gave you a kiss. A kiss that was a lot more meaningful then any kiss on the lips.

"I love you." He whispered, thinking you were fast asleep but you heard it. You heard as his breath became even as well and he fell deep into sleep.

For once you don't feel like you have to leave. You don't feel like you are out of place and you don't feel like you are incapable of love.

For once you don't want to get up in the morning and sneak out before he's awake, instead you want to stay over, you want to have breakfast with him. You want to sit on his counter as he cooks and you want to hear him say he loves you again.

Maybe you wouldn't say it back right now if he said it when you were awake but you like to believe that one day, very soon, you will also whisper it to him as he falls asleep.

*******

Tags : @hrtsj1m

@honeeybunneey

@bbtsficrecs

@taetaecatboy

@radhottubfart

@pinkjm

@hajimaoppaa

@dontcallmeelle

@notsooperfect

@kookies-n-spice

@somehowukook

@btsffreader92

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@kamyhberry

@azaood

@cynicalbitch666

@kyglover

@honeeybunneey

@trustfratedtae

@gaebestie

@ttanniett

@azaood

[krisluxxee]

SUN CONJUNCT MOON SYNASTRY | ASTROLOGY SYNASTRY SERIES

EVERY RELATIONSHIP HAS IT’S UP’S AND DOWNS AND NO ONE RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT. HOWEVER, THE SUN CONJUNCT MOON IN SYNASATRY WILL FEEL LIKE THINGS ARE PERFECT BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR PERSON. LET’S JUST ADDRESS THE BAD FIRST AND MOVE ON TO THE GOOD- SIDE NOTE: THAT’S IS HOW THIS RELATIONSHIP OPERATES. THEY WANT TO ADDRESS THE BAD AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE, NOTHING LINGERS WITH THEM.

I DIGRESS. NOW, THE BAD TO BE NOTED WITHIN THIS SYNASTRY ASPECT IS THE POSSIBILITY THE PARTNERS HAVE SOME KIND OF SIBLING VIBE. BEFORE YOU GET MAD, DISGUSTED OR BOTH- HEAR ME OUT. ASTROLOGICALLY, THE SUN AND MOON PLAY A ROLE IN SEXUAL PARTNERSHIPS IN WHICH DIFFERTIATES AND DEFINES A PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP FROM A ROMANTIC ONE. THEREFORE, THE SUN AND MOON ALONE DO NOT NECCESARILY ACTIVATE THE SEXUAL ENERGY, HENCE WHY I GET REALLY CLOSE SIBLING, TWIN VIBES. TO ELABORATE ON THIS FURTHER, THE SUN PERSON RECIVES COMFORT, FAMILIARITY AND A FEELING OF PROTECTION FROM THE MOON PERSON. THE MOON PERSON RECIEVES VALIDATION AND APPRECIATION FOR THEIR ABILITY TO MAKE THE SUN PERSON FEEL AT HOME IN THEIR COMPANY. IT REMINDS ME OF CLOSE SIBLINGS THAT ARE PROTECTIVE OF EACHOTHER WHO MAY TEASE AND TERROIZE THEIR SIBLINGS BUT THEY’LL BE DAMNED IF SOMEONE ELSE DOES. WHICH LEADS TO MY FOREMENTIONED POINT ABOUT THIS COUPLE GETTING ON EACHOTHERS NERVES BECAUSE THEY QUITE LITERALLY ACT, LIKE, NEED AND WANT THE SAME THING. IT’S LIKE TWINS HAVING ONE TOY AND THEY HAVE TO SHARE. AT TIMES, THE SUN PERSON WILL TRY TO DOMINATE THE MOON PERSON AND THIS IS EQUIVALENT TO A BULLLY SECRECTLY BEING INSECURE. THE SUN PERSON WILL PROJECT THEIR HIDDEN WEAKENESSED ON THE MOON PERSON, WHO IN TURN WILL ACT THIS OUT, SUBCONSCIOUSLY FOR THE SUN PERSON.

THE SUN PERSON MAY ALSO HAVE UNDERLYING JEALOUSY FOR THE MOON PERSON BECAUSE THE MOON PERSON IS ABLE TO EXPRESS EMOTION, VULNERABILITY AND GAIN SYMPATHY THAT THE SUN PERSON DOES NOT. IT’S LIKE CHILDREN GETTING IN TROUBLE BUT ONE OF THE SIBLINGS GETS A LESSER PUNISHMENT OR BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING WHICH CAN CREATE TENSION AND JEALOUSY BUT DUE TO THE LOVE THEY HAVE FOR EACHOTHER, THE SUN PERSON AT SOME POINT WILL GET OVER IT AND THEY’RE BACK TO BEING LOVING “SIBLINGS”.

TO GET AWAY FROM THE SIBLING COMPARISONS, IN ACTUALITY, THIS COUPLE WILL ARGUE AND THEY WILL GET HEATED BUT THEY TEND TO GET OVER IT QUICKLY BECAUSE THE LOVE AND NEED THEY HAVE FOR EACHOTHER OVERPOWERS THE ISSUES, JEALOUSY, AND INSECURITY THAT THEY BOTH BRING OUT IN EACHOTHER. WE OFTEN COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMEONE BEING TOO DIFFERENT FROM US BUT IT’S THE SAME WHEN SOMEONE IS TOO SIMILAR TO US AS WELL. SOMETIMES WE NEED SPACE AND THIS COUPLE IS NO DIFFERENT. THEY BATTLE WITH THE NEED OF NEEDING SPACE BUT ALSO FEELING EMPTY OF INCOMPLETE WHEN THE OTHER ISN’T AROUND. THIS SYNASTRY ASPECT PRODUCES CO-DEPENDENCY AND DESPITE THE NEGATIVE CONNOTATIONS AROUND SUCH A WORD OR DYNAMIC, I DO NOT SEE A PROBLEM WITH THIS. MOST PEOPLE WHO FEEL NEGATIVELY ABOUT CODEPENCY ARE JEALOUS THEY DEPENDED ON SOMEONE AT SOME POINT AND WAS LET DOWN. LET’S BE REAL.

THIS LEADS TO MY NEXT POINT. FOR THOSE WHO HAVE THIS SYNASTRY ASPECT, WITH SOMEONE YOU CAN REST ASSURRED THAT THE MOON PERSON WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOUR BACK & THE SUN PERSON WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOUR BACK- RIGHT OR WRONG. THIS MAKES OTHERS MAD ESPECIALLY IF FOR EXAMPLE, THE SUN AND MOON ARE CONJUNCT IN LIBRA OR 7TH HOUSE CONSIDERING LIBRA AND 7TH HOUSE ENERGY DEALS WITH THEMES OF JEALOUSY, ENVY AND SADLY, 3RD PARTIES TRYING TO TAKE WHAT YOU HAVE BUT I DIGRESS. DESPITE THE SIGN THE SUN AND MOON ARE IN WITH THIS SYNASTRY, OTHERS WILL TRY SO HARD TO BREAK YOU UP BECAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS, THEY DO NOT HAVE SOMEONE THEY CAN DEPEND ON NO MATTER WHAT. THIS IS ANOTHER WHY I INTIIALLY COMPARED THIS SYNASTRY TO THAT OF SIBLINGS. THE FAMILIES OF THIS COUPLE WILL WELCOME THEM IN LIKE THEY’RE A DAUGHTER/ SON FROM ANOTHER MOTHER LITERALLY. BOTH FAMILIES WILL LOVE THEIR PARTNER AND BECOME SO CLOSE.

IT’S VERY HARD TO BREAK THIS COUPLE UP BECAUSE FAMILIES ARE INVOLVED AND FOR THE SUN PERSON, THEIR MOON PARTNER PLAYS A MAJOR ROLE IN THEIR IDENTITY AND HOW THEY’RE SEEN BY OTHERS. WHEN WE HEAR OF COUPLES WHO “ YOU DON’T SEE ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER”, IT’S DESCRIBING THIS SYNASTRY ASPECT. I CAN SEE THIS SYNASTRY PLAYING OUT AS CHILDHOOD, MIDDLESCHOOL, HIGHSCHOOL OR COLLEGE SWEETHEARTS- EVEN THE GIRL OR BOY NEXT DOOR.

THIS SYNASTRY ASPECT CAN ALSO PLAYOUT WHERE THEY PRODUCE BABIES AT A YOUNG AGE BUT STAY TOGETHER AS ADULTS AND MAYBE EVEN ELDERHOOD- IT’’S A BONUS IF THEY HAVE BIG FAMILIES THOUGH THAT MAY VARY IF PERHAPS THE SUN AND MOON ARE CONJUNCT IN AQUARIUS FOR EXAMPLE.- BUT YOU GET THE POINT. THIS IS A SWEETHEART SYNASTRY. THE SUN PERSON ABSOLTULEY LOVES, ADORES AND NEEDS THE MOON PERSON AND THE MOON PERSON FEELS THE SAMEX 2 , THOUGH IT’S NO COMPETITION. THIS ASPECT ALSO IS VERY TRADITIONAL SO IF THE MOON PERSON IS THE WOMAN, SHE’ WOULD BE “EXPECTED” TO HAVE THE CHILDREN, STAY HOME, TEND TO HOME, AND CATER TO THE NEEDS OF HER MAN AND FAMILY.

THE SUN PERSON WILL BE THE PROVIDER, ESPECIALLY IF HE’S THE MAN AND HE WILL BE VERY LOYAL, LOVING AND DEVOTED. IN THE VICE VERSA, IF THE MAN IS THE MOON PERSON- HE WILL STILL PROVIDE AND BE ALL THE THINGS I LISTED ABOVE HOWEVER, HE WILL BE MORE EMOTIONALLY EXPRESSIVE WHEREAS, THE SUN PERSON BEING THE WOMAN WILL BE MORE DOMINANT, MAKING ALL THE DECISIONS AND HANDLING THE FINANCES- THE FINANCES THE MOON PERSON, IF HE’S A MAN MAKES. HA.

A FRIEND OF MINE HAD A CO WORKER WHO ALLOWED HIS “OLD LADY” TO HANDLE ALL THE FINANCES, HOUSEHOLD, CHILDREN AND TO MAKE DECISIONS AND ALL HE WAS EXPECTED TO DO WAS GO TO WORK. WHENEVER HE GOT PAID, HIS ENTIRE CHECK WENT TO HIS WIFE, WHOM HE REFERRED TO AS “OLD LADY” AND SHE TOOK CARE OF EVERYTHING. HE DIDN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING BUT GOING TO WORK AND HE LIKED IT THAT WAY. SO IF THE MOON PERSON IS THE MALE, THE RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC MAY MANIFEST THIS WAY BUT DUE TO THE UNCONDTIONAL LOVE AND TRUST THEY BOTH HAVE FOR EACHOTHER- IT WAS NEVER A PROBLEM.

I REMEMBER TELLING MY FRIEND, WHO TOLD ME ABOUT THIS COUPLE, “ MAN I WISH I TRUSTED AND LOVED SOMEONE THAT MUCH TO ALLOW ME TO DO THAT”. WITH ME SAYING THAT COMES FROM A PLACE OF ADMIRATION BUT FOR OTHERS, IT’LL BE OUT OF JEALOUSY. IF THAT MAN IS THE MOON PERSON, OTHERS WILL JUDGE HIM BY CALLING HIM “PUSSY WHIPPED” AND WHATEVER ELSE THEY CAN MUSTER UP. IF THE MOON PERSON IS THE WOMAN, MOST MODERN WOMAN WHO ARE MORE THAN LIKELY BITTER SINGLE BABY MOMS OR INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DON’T NEED A MAN, WILL JUDGE THE MOON PERSON BY ACCUSING HER OF BEING IN A CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP, OR GROWING UP TOO FAST OR TRYING TO INFLUENCE HER TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO GET MORE EXPERIENCE.

HAVE ANY OF YOU SEEN LOVE AND BASKETBALL? MONICA AND QUINCY WERE THE MAIN CHARACTERS AND THEY HAD A CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART VIBE GOING ON- GRANTED IN COLLEGE THEY BROKE UP BECAUSE OF COURSE OTHERS DREW A WEDGE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN ADDITION THEM TRYING TO PURSUE THEIR CAREERS AND OWN IDENTITIES WITH SOME JEALOUSY BEING MIXED IN.

EVENTUALLY THEY GOT BACK TOGETHER, GOT MARRIED, HAD THE KID AND SUCCESSFUL CAREERS IN THE END. SO, THOUGH I MENTIONED ABOVE, IT WOULD BE VERY HARD TO BREAK THIS COUPLE UP, IT REMAINS TRUE. THEY CAN PHYSICALLY BREAK UP BUT THEIR HEARTS AND MINDS ARE ALWAYS ATTACHED TO EACHOTHER.- ALWAYS.

FOR THOSE ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN- IF YOU COME ACROSS SOMEONE WHO HAS AN EX AND THEY SHARE THIS SYNASTRY ASPECT, WITH THAT EX, I WOULD JUST MOVE ON BECAUSE YOU MAY HAVE THEM PHYSICALLY BUT THEIR EX WILL ALWAYS BE THERE AND THE UNIVERSE WILL ALWAYS LEAD THEM BACK TO EACHOTHER.

[sabrondabrainrot]

How can so many beautiful brains exist?b✨🧠✨

LMAO

Literally tho everything by both ikami and darkforestdreams is right!

Sun never compared Moon and Nexus, unless Nexus himself asked him about it. Even then, Sun still didn't quite compare them. He just laid out the facts that they're different. He always saw them as different people and always made sure to let Nexus know he loves him.

☀️🌑

Sun never compared them. Sun never abused Nexus.

☀️🌑

He only would sometimes say "Moon used to do this or that" because unfortunately, Moon made sure Sun would be reliant on him.

Sun himself has never been incompetent or useless but Moon made him feel that way, unintentionally, but it still happens. Moon's love is expressed through action but unfortunately he never communicated to Sun correctly why he does the things he does.

Instead of saying "I want to do this for you brother because I love you and want to cherish you." He would say "you're too stupid to do this so I'll do it."

That's always how Moon has been.

So looping back to the titular fight between Sun and Nexus over star power... Sun was telling Nexus he was overworking himself and doing everything by himself again and Sun was pushed into finding something he could do to help. Before Sun could even finish his thought and reasoning he was cut off. Nexus proceeded to just constantly bring up a moment he assumed was Sun comparing Nexus to Moon.

Nexus has always just assumed Sun compared them.

I have so many thoughts and words too for the fandom and how they accuse Sun of being an abuser to Nexus... It's just awful.

But before that, I just want to address.... Sun never felt... useful... To anyone.... Until he could teach Nexus about Star power.... And the very first and only time Nexus used to was to threaten and hurt Earth...

The one thing Sun felt good about.... And it was used to harm Earth.

Like.... It's really obvious why Sun falsely calls himself a 'bad brother'.

So what I have to say about the fans who accuse Sun of being an abuser....

Tsams is one of those stories that is fraught with nuance and subterfuge. The VAs/writers while new are still very talented. They put a lot into the story especially for people to pick up on and analyze.

Tsams is also a family rated series that does draw in very young viewers and unfortunately the young viewers... This is just my opinion.... But I just don't think they're at the same level of media comprehension. I think there's a big lack of critical thinking from some fans.

Just think about it, people always tend to take what Nexus and other Villains say at face value.

Eclipse V1 and onward basically lied about a lot of stuff. The only thing he said about Sun that's true was "You might be a good person but you want to do so many bad things"

And that's just the thing, Eclipse never elaborated what those bad things are. To Sun, bad is saying bad words. It's bad to get mad and insult someone. He carries guilt over saying mean things.

The reason why Eclipse would target an insecurity like that is because he needed to keep Sun weak because I want to remind everyone, Sun fought Eclipse every second and was always getting better at it. He also fought Moon everyday when he was killing kids. Please note, Eclipse himself even admitted that Sun is a good person.

Sun is a fighter and never gives up so the villains tear him down to keep him compliant.

Then to Nexus.... Does no one remember how Sun held him and comforted him when he lost Solar? He never told him to bring Solar back but he feels guilt over it because in the moment as he watched Nexus break while Solar vanished into nothing he said "b-bring him back.".

This is why Sun feels guilty. Are we really going to use him pleading for Solar to come back in this moment as him putting pressure on Nexus to revive Solar?

But again I think the lack of critical thinking or media literacy causes people to hear what Eclipse and Nexus and other Villains say to Sun and take it at face value.

They just think for some reason every villain is just being honest all the time.

It's kind of crazy to me.

LMAO but that's my two cents I have so many other thoughts but my lunch break is up.

Hope my ramble is coherent

TW RANT - I may come off as rude here so I'm sorry in advance but people being too mad at Sun for everything that happened to Nexus just start to annoy me a bit especially when they act as if Sun basically abused Nexus

Sun doesn't need any excuses for how things were with him and Nexus at the beginning cause for what reason?

Sun never compared Nexus to Moon..

Nexus felt this way but if he cared to listen to Sun he'd understand that he was mistaken..

Because all Sun tried to say is that he doesn't want Nexus to do everything by himself while he's sitting there doing nothing just like it was with Moon..

Because at the time when Sun decided to be conduit for star's power Nexus was already taking care of everything by himself while Sun was doing nothing..

Just like it was with Moon..

It wasn't okay for Sun to lie but it wasn't okay for Nexus to yell his head of at Sun and refuse to listen to him and refuse to understand why Sun did what he did..

I wish to say something about people who defend early Nexus but I'll refrain myself cause I don't want to start any drama..

"nothing can excuse Sun for mistreating Nexus" it's a hella weird hill to die on..

Because what mistreating? The one Nexus made up in his head? And he never even cared to communicate with Sun and by that I mean that he also let Sun speak up and only yell "Me, myself and I" because that's not how communication works..

And what excuse? What y'all on about?

Sun apologized every time for when Nexus expressed being hurt..

But Nexus didn't care..

Or oh wait no.. Nexus just is too much of a coward to admit that he was afraid that Sun will die..

Why he never try to talk with Sun about anything..

Because he was a coward..

And now he chose hate.. because hating is easier..

The only wrong thing that Sun did was that he lied to Nexus.. but ofc is so good to held one mistake over someone's head forever, right?

As if Nexus never did any mistakes..

And ofc Nexus was worried about Sun well-being but he also actively pushed him away and was neglectful towards him..

But no one cares how it made Sun feel because apparently only poor Nexus' feelings are the most important thing..

[spielzeugkaiser]

IM STILL HERE your return 10000% reminded me why I loved those two doofuses in the first place 😭 im so happy to see u on my dash again ily❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Ahhhh thank you!!! Have this little doodle:

[dukeofthomas]

Here's my controversial opinion; if you're trying to write Bruce as a non-abusive, good parent, you should also write him respecting his kids' privacy, boundaries, and not stalking&surveying them.

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[sonknuxadow]

just got a blazed sonadow post on my dash that was actually such a jumpscare

[yappingmil]

Mmm having another like venting in my head but knowing the second im done venting im gonna be like you didnt mean that tho moment

[twpsyn-who]

Soulmates AU in which when your soulmate is in a situation that can result in their death you get to see through their eyes. Like, I don't know how to explain this- it kind of flashes between what you see and what your soulmate sees. You know those edits where there's a scene going on and there's another one faded in the background happening at the same time? Similar to that. The idea is that you get to see what your soulmate sees too, on top of what you're seeing.

Now, this AU but JeanMarco. With Marco asking the others where's Jean, just for him to start seeing a corpse right in front of his eyes not even a second after asking. Seeing through Jean's eyes as he's trying to get hold of that gear and stuff. And once Jean's safe, once it clicks that you know his best friend is his soulmate Marco can't wait for them to graduate so he can you know tell him that.

Then, you know. That happens. And Jean is so fucking confused because he keeps seeing Annie crying, looking down on him. Only when Annie starts getting off the gear, when his soulmate starts moving around trying to get away he starts panicking, starts moving around faster than before. And maybe he's too late. Or maybe he shows up in time and kills the titan. I don't know. That's not where I'm trying to get, but to the second option AKA Marco pulling an UNO reverse on Annie because he's a smart sneaky bastard like that and being like 'Hey you can't kill me, my soulmate will know it was you' which makes her stop trying to take off his gear. Reiner keeps telling her to do it, Bertholdt keeps yelling about that titan coming closer, but Annie... she has seen things, at some point. Flashes of moments that weren't hers, happening right in Trost- right in that moment. And she didn't give them too much thought until that moment, until it got confirmed that it has nothing to do with her titan powers.

'What do you mean by that?' she asks, because she needs to know more. Because she wants to know more. And Marco starts explaining how it works. Tells them that he has found his soulmate, that they will put all the blame on them for his death. Reiner doesn't believe him, keeps insisting that he's playing them around - he, and anyone born and raised on Marley, has never heard of something like that before, it doesn't exist - but Annie tells him to shut up and to let Marco go. Cue to the plot of any fic in which Marco doesn't straight up die after finding up their secret.

Anyway I don't know man, just,,, We need more soulmate aus for JeanMarco. That's an order.

[piplupod]

also fungus gnats or no-see-ums have come indoors while i had the (screened) windows open down here to try to get in a little fresh air, and now I keep getting tiny bugs in my face every so often no matter what room I'm in and idk which they are bc they look so similar so idk how to get rid of them other than just keep trying to kill any that I spot in here and never open the windows again 😭

[ifyourereadingthisblinktwice]

i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it