#but i never had a vocaloid phase when i was younger. i feel so very neutral about miku

[cerealmonster15]

i dont think i ever felt more annoyed at commercials than when those mean girls walmart ads were playing a few months ago or whenever that was

[stinkypeanutbutter]

silly Aiden headcanons because I have no impulse

i probably already done these before in other headcanon posts I made but ermm I’ll do it again 😹

small TW for scars at the end 🗣🗣

AIDEN :

Aiden has the most unhinged playlist ever like oh my giggly goodness we got metal we got rock we got classic we got indie we got pop we got vocaloid Idfk whatever you can think of ( same 😹 )

totally had an immense phase of just everything . Creepy pasta , animation , FNAF , idk any other phases from 2016 help

Probably dated like once or twice , but they weren’t serious at ALL and mostly online . He just said yes because he wanted to be nice since he never really had friends ofc , so why hurt someone you barley know if it means getting a friend ? ( I’m gonna explode 😭 )

I’m not sure when this was actually invented , but he’d probably try and convince everyone to make battery acid candy drinks . ( they all say no 😔 )

Sorta sad headcanon they if no matter how hard to tries to solve a difficult puzzle , and he fails , he just starts silently bawling his eyes out . Cause you know he’s really good at them right ? He can solve them pretty quickly ? So if he’s like absolutely pressured by a bunch of people watching expecting him to win ( or like his friends cause yk they believe in him !!!! ) and he can’t solve the puzzle he’ll be like “ why can’t I solve this why is this hard why am I failing “ or something and then start crying ig ( Yeouchers angst 😿 )

Bro is the heaviest napper ever you can stack things on him for HOURS but the moment he actually sleeps most things can wake him ( if he’s not comfortable at least . He’ll sleep pretty well at sleepovers )

I can’t figure out an art style for him but I updated it so ignore that last drawing it’s grody anyway he sometimes draws people but prefers just random splotches of color . He has extremely stylized art but yk , it’s just ‘ weird ’ according to some people since it’s really . . graphic . Not in a BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD way but very mixed ( if you get what I mean )

Hugs everything when he sleeps you can’t tell me otherwise like you seen his old bed ?? He had NOTHIN so absolutely is he gonna cuddle everything near him

Hates competing . ( idk if he did it before but we’ll see ) like he doesn’t like doing puzzle competitions anymore that much , he just got bored of it and was really kinda forced to do it when he was younger . BUT if it’s in a game against his friends , he’ll probably do it just to help them out cause they always get stuck if Logan can’t figure it out either .

Does that thing with music where If it absolutely hits he just starts spazzing out and dances to it

that one thing where he walks around in a circle talking to himself if he’s really deep in thought ( he could go on for hours so someone has to pull him out to drink water at least )

TONS of posters in his room

Him and Taylor binge shows together , often ask the others to join when they aren’t busy . They totally watch anime ( Tyler calls it childish then gets really invested in uhhhh let’s say full metal alchemist and sport animes like haikyuu or something I can’t think of any he’d like . But I’m gonna make them all watch Ghost stories because it’s funny )

Aidlyn cuddling is mostly done at Aidens house cause his parents rarely go up to check on him ( 😅💥 ) and also he had a ton of blankets for Ashlyn to wrap herself in . He got her a heavy weighted blanket for her birthday one time so when that’s not around she just uses Aiden as a blanket if she’s feeling affectionate ( he’s warm in the winter time and pretty light believe it or not )

Has a medium spice tolerance , eats more then what he can handle like a stinky loser

doesn’t like anyone pointing out his growing hair roots so just don’t talk about it much 😅😅

steals chopsticks from restaurants cause who needs to buy any ??? They’re free if you don’t get caught / hj

sometimes just locks himself up in his room and lays in his bed thinking about life

LOVES drawing his friends ( especially Ash ) in his free time because he rarely draws in front of people , and will make an airplane out of it to throw it over to them . But he has that mentality where “ Everyrhing I make kinda sucks “ so expect to find doodles in the trash or hidden in his room

IPad kid , can’t tel me otherwise .

Loves hover boarding but he kinda sucks at it so he just 🧍🕺☠️ ( falls )

Will ram into everyone in bumper cars , almost sent someone flying ( Lilly , he bought her candy as a sorry )

rarely catches cavities because he actually has really strong teeth and willingly bites down on hard candies ( I do the same thing because I’m impatient 😹 )

Does all his school work at home cause school has too many distractions ( real )

Buys like body foundation to smear onto his legs and arms . He doesn’t want anyone to point out them out , and if they do he just tells them their from skateboarding . It can come off after a few days if he doesn’t reapply , but it’s fine since he does it again in between and would have to reapply anyway . Idk how it works 😿

Anyway who shall I do next ????? Put your answers in the comment section below subscribe like and support my Patreon see you in the next video 😹😹😹☝️☝️💥💥

[ancient-reverie]

s/o to my fellow systems whose brains are just wild and will see a nice rock and make an alter. like okay brain, that's nice thank you. no idea what started us as a system, but over the years we've had many new people form and the causes are varied. this is not a full list, just a couple of experiences

i want to preface that there is nearly no way to "prove" if these are true reasons or not as is the nature of dissociation. but they FEEL right and it's our brain so we would have some idea. and it Doesn't Really Matter in the end being as what matters is that we Are Here Now.

really we made this as a list so maybe someone who needed to could relate to or laugh at one or more of the things

a lot of feelings about not being able to sing gave us a vocaloid with a broken voice

almost drowning landed us a transmasc siren

started writing a new character and oops hi pretty okay and strong girl

"i need a big brother"

some really bad shit went down in mindspace (this happened often when we were younger) and an alter or two were traumatized so write a note to wait two months and start looking for a new one but still be surprised and confused when the new one comes up anyway

some symptom got too much to handle so now it's this guys turn wait who is this guy

discovered a new song and listened to it on repeat and maladaptive daydreamed someone a new friend or child

bestie said we weren't friends no more so i'm gonna become someone who has never met bestie

We Aren't Talking About The YouTuber That We Watched Too Much Of And Used For Emotional Support Until They Showed Up And We Pulled Off A Perfect [redacted] Accent And Refuse To Speak Of Since (sorry)

uncomfortable moment you will only ever be Confused about despite being able to remember it and what was happening

every alter rotating out during the Suicidal TimesTM until there's no one else who can handle it so yOu MakE ONe and they're actually really happy for a minute and can appear to break the depressive session but very quickly realizes what they're in for and joins the rest of the Sad Club, thanks for the help buddy, sorry and welcome to the club we have weed

Bird Hyperfixation

"i need a new mom"

Vampire hyperfixation

literally just a different version of an existing alter. alternate-timeline 'if this had happened or hadn't happened' or future/older selves

you really liked this character in that show but your brain for some reason won't take the actual character. oh no it has to make its own person that is an exact mirror of that character! but it wont tell you! you have to forget all about that character until 10 years later when the alter realizes it but they're so different now you don't actually know but it probably shaped you in some way

had a slut phase on discord and the fake personality 2 of the alters used online turned into her own person

You haven't met the alter that you know exists because you asked for them to exist at the same time you heard your father cry for the first time at 27 when you all Lost a creature who the whole system considered their daughter.

people just form when the brain decides it's a good idea for us. it's been awhile since we've had a new fully fleshed out alter who has the energy and desire to be out/slots into the main group that takes care of most things. when new ones form these days (like 2.3 every 4 years) it's "quieter" people that pop up, introduce themselves, and then chill in mindspace with the rest and we don't really hear from them much.

Last we counted we have about 50 people (we counted a long time ago i'll be honest), but on a daily basis only about 3-5 people are active and it's not always through the whole day. at least 2-3 are always active. Siruss is the only one who can solo we dunno why.

our usual routine someone will be out and they'll have a co-fronter and or a couple background buddy(ies), and then the co-fronter and background people change after a week to a month, it depends on who it is. sometimes one of the background or co-fronters will swap out and be the main one for however long they can manage (depends on who it is)

but if we're leaving the house and around other people the routine is totally subject to change.

[bunnies-on-saturn]

Obey Me Brother Headcannons!

yeah just some random headcannons i have of the brothers and what they do and stuff enjoy~

They have movie night every other weekend or so and watch Studio Ghibli movies together. And they either A. All fall asleep together like on top of each other or B. Lucifer has to put all his little brothers to bed but he doesn’t mind

Satan likes sour/ bitter foods

Levi had a nightcore phase and I will take this to my grave. this manifested into a vocaloid phase

Mammon just brings things to Lucifer? like stuff he thinks is cool. like rocks, shells, flowers, etc. and then Lucifer will praise him. He’ll ruffle his hair and say that it’s really cool

If Lucifer is working too late either one by one or all of the brothers will barge into his office to keep him company/ try to make him stop working. Just like when they watch movies he carries them to bed once they all fall asleep

Levi and Lucifer are picky eaters. Except Lucifer is only for a few foods and keeps it on the low while Levi is very loud about it

I feel like all the brothers have called Lucifer dad at LEAST once and everyone just harps on when Satan and or Mammon called him dad. Like that’s the one they focus on the most

Levi once “accidentally” called Mammon big brother/ “onisan” and Mammon NEVER lets him live it down

Mammon is very protective of his little brothers especially during hard times and especially over Levi

Lucifer will just go find Belphie and then sit with him so they can nap together. Or at least belphie is. Just when he sits there and he just subconsciously move to his lap and place his head there and Lucifer just strokes his hair the whole time

When Satan was young he was really attached to Lucifer so he was always by his side and that made Mammon jealous

Satan and Asmo have something of the equivalent of a spa day in Asmo’s room. They do face mask, their nails, hair, etc and just bond

Asmo and Mammon are shopping buddies and have mini fashion shows

You think Beel watches those food Asmr videos. No talking just eating really late at night

Mammon always brings back human snacks for Beel and tries to get new stuff for him unless he ask for something he’s already had

Since Belphie sleeps a lot I feel like he’s a really heavy sleeper. And I mean REALLY HEAVY. So the brothers just, stack things on him while he’s sleeping. Lucifer would tell them off but then after he realized just how tall of a tower they can make with Belphie as the base he joined in and took photos

I think this is cannon but: Asmo does everyone’s nails and that’s how he bonds with his brothers

Asmo has dyed his hair multiple different colors his favorite being different shades of pink

Beel has eaten a crayon as a kid I can feel it in my bones

You guys remember in the “Are you kidding me” event (which we where robbed by the way the brothers should have been kids and we take care of them or all the brothers but Lucifer become kids and we help Lucifer take care of them) how Belphie said “if you don’t go to sleep a monster is going to take you” or when Mammon went “don’t throw bread that’s mean to the bread fairy” you think Lucifer told them those things when they where young

When Satan was younger he absolutely loved reading (like he does now) but he really loved when others read to him especially Lucifer or any of his older brothers. He definitely had a favorite book that he’d read constantly and it was definitely about a cat change my mind

Lucifer would find out Beel’s favorite foods either from the human world, where they are currently or the Celesta and ask Davolo to add it to the menu

Mammon and Levi act like they hate each other but they really care for each other just bully each other like siblings do. They bring spice to the house

If Belphie falls asleep in a random ass spot or somewhere uncomfortable whoever finds him will take him to somewhere comfortable so he can sleep better

Beel likes spicy things more while Belphie likes sweet things

Beel is REALLY good at “Cooking with Mama” like really good. Every. Single. Recipe is gold.

Beel looks like he really likes jello and I don’t think they even have jello in their world

Lucifer brings Satan books from the human world or from the forbidden library. Satan acts like he doesn’t care but he’s read each one at least a thousand times

I’m not sure if Lucifer had his jacket on his shoulders like he does now before but I like to think when the brothers where younger they’d play with it. They’d go under it and hold onto his legs when they played hide and seek. Lucifer acted like he hated it but he really did enjoy it and would do his best to hide them

When they rough house they someone involve everyone in a fight between two of the brothers. Somehow now all the brothers are just rough housing with each other. And sometimes it’s no longer rough housing but-

When they where younger if the brothers didn’t want to eat something they’d just sneakily slide whatever they didn’t want onto Beelzebub plate and act as they ate it. It was a win win for everyone

Lucifer is the designated bug killer in the house

Lucifer acts like he hates the nickname “Luci” but he really likes it when his brothers call him it because it reminds him of when they where younger. And the brothers know this so they call him Luci to butter him up for something

Asmodeus and Beelzebub make really pretty desserts together

They’ve all definitely cooked together as a family a few times before and it was really fun

Somehow for some reason a food fight broke out between the brothers during dinner. Nothing bad they where all actually having a lot of fun and laughing and running around. However just as Lucifer walked in from the kitchen he got hit right in the face. All of them accepted their death (Belphie and Satan laughing) but Lucifer threw food back at them to their surprise. And boom now Lucifer has joined the food fight

Lucifer never shuts up about his brothers to Davolo and Barbados when they hang out. Telling them stories about the things they do. Most times he’s ranting about them but other times he’s just gushing about them.

Satan had HORRIBLE and I mean horrible tantrums when he was younger. Like as a baby-a toddler maybe a young kid. But they where bad. Being the Avatar of Wrath I feel that played a lot into it. Like so bad that he would lose his voice from screaming, he’d throw things, he’d try and fight etc. Now he’s a little better but his brothers always talk about stories when Satan gets pouty. Then gets embarrassed and more pouty.

Playing into Satans tantrum I feel like Lucifer would just throw him over his shoulder and just take him to another room to calm down. And I feel like he’s done that to all his brothers when they where younger and still do it now. He just slugs them over his shoulder and just walks with them like that.

There was an event in obey me I think it was called party? Where they celebrate you being there for about 6 months and Satan gives us a gift where it’s like a photo album but you can actually see the photos play out in that moment. Like the memory plays back when you look at the photos and each brother has one including Lucifer. And I feel like Lucifer is very protective over his photo album and the amount of times the brothers have tried to steal it is insane

^ going off that I feel like Lucifer has a secret one of him and his brothers all together. From moments when they where kids to now and just looks through it whenever he’s really stressed or doing a lot of work. It’s like a stress reliever in a way

Mammon had braces as a kid. I feel like Levitation and Satan also had braces

Mammon and Lucifer play card games together

So it’s cannon that Lucifer’s favorite brother is Mammon and Mammon’s favorite is Lucifer so when Mammon was younger he was extremely attached to him. He still is now just only shows it in private. But when Lucifer was trying to teach Mammon how to walk he put him in those baby walkers for him to explore areas on his own so Lucifer can do his own thing. But he’s just follow Lucifer around everywhere

Beel got a plushie of a cheeseburger when he was younger and it’s still a comfort item to this day

Lucifer sees his brothers as his “baby brothers” not even because they are but he could look at them and just remember moments from when they where young. So he tends to baby all of them at times. But honestly they don’t mind too much they get to be spoiled by him and have his attention. Lucifer definitely babies mammon the most change my mind

Lucifer 100% you cannot convince me other wise I will die on this hill. When the brothers where younger as in a smaller kid to a baby or so age he 100% put them in things like this. Because there is no way he can keep track of all of them at once. The other semi older ones like Mammon and Levi where on kid leaches.

Mammon was a leach kid 100% look me in the eyes and say I’m wrong

Say they go to a beach or a pool and some of the brothers for example: Levitation, Belphie, maybe Satan don’t wanna go in the water Mammon would pick them up and just throw them in the water. Sometimes Lucifer would help him

Beel when he was younger would wake up in the middle of the night hungry and go to Lucifer’s room wake him up and ask for him to make him something. He always felt bad but Lucifer never got mad and sometimes they’d even fall asleep together

If one of them have a nightmare they go to someone else’s room for comfort. Mammon goes to Lucifer, Levitation goes to Mammon, Satan to Asmodeus, Asmo to Satan, and Belphie and Beelzebub go to each other

That’s all I have for today I wanna make some of these into stories in the future so if you wanna see those let me know! :) and I wanna hear your guys head cannons of the brothers sorry this is messy Im not organized

[browniesnivy]

Random Asks!

This template was made by biaesthetic, just so you know. I cut out some of the questions I didn’t I saw feel like answering, but otherwise her template worked really well for my needs! I saw cyberenergyshock do something similar and felt the need to do one myself, so here we go! Y’all really don’t know anything about me (which is mostly because i’m super paranoid about privacy) and I don’t intend to give out super precious info or anything here, I just thought it’d be nice. 

what was the last thing you read? The last book I read was issue three of the Bunny Drop manga. So far it’s a very cute story that I recommend to people who like family stories. It’s very touching and cute, but can be fairly thought-provoking at times. I haven’t finished it yet so I can’t give a full review or anything... but those are my thoughts so far!

favorite movie? Captain America: Winter Soldier! I know it’s a pretty basic choice as far as favorite Marvel movies go, but it really is just soooooo good. The action, the intrigue, the emotion, the relationships... all so good! Ten out of ten would watch again... and I believe me, I have. Three times in fact. And I’ve cried at least once every time because I’m weak sauce.

favorite book? That’s really hard... I really loved Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets but I haven’ t read that in years and am really fuzzy on the details... so I guess I’ll have to say the Warrior Cats Super Edition Crookedstar’s Promise. What can I say, I love Warrior Cats! And this edition is just so emotional. Without giving away any spoilers, this book is an absolute emotional rollercoaster at parts and contains one of the most manipulative, petty, dangerous, terrifying and broken villains the series has to offer and she is just fantastic. If your down with some of the special Warrior Cats-brand of stupidity this book is a total treat!

dream date? We’d be alone somewhere quiet and serene, nature surrounding us as we were covered in a blanket of stars. Cool, refreshing water babbles nearby, giving poetry to our escape. The most calming and tranquil environment imaginable. However, we wouldn’t just enjoy the soothing scenery, but we would talk in a low whisper, joking about things only we would understand and geeking out over fandom, all in between mouthfuls of take-out pasta from Olive Garden. It would be a mixture of a fun hangout with a friend and a romantic tender scene. (I guess all of that was really corny, huh? Haha, sorry!)

do you have a crush? Not on anyone real... but if Hatsune Miku asks tell her I’m free!

what are your hobbies? I love creative pursuits like writing and drawing and have loved them since I was extremely young. One of my favorite pass times is playing video games like Pokémon, Fire Emblem, Harvest Moon, The Sims,, Civilization, Stardew Valley, Super Smash Brothers, and many many others... too many to reasonably name! I love reading novels, but manga and anime alike are what I seem to do more of nowadays. My parents are pretty strict on which anime I watch though, so I spend more time reading manga because they aren’ t nearly as finicky about my reading material since my younger siblings won’t have to be subjected to it. Also, I really love philosophy. Ethics and morals have always fascinated me and the idea of mapping out the human spirit like a genome is endlessly fascinating to me... I love to read books on morality and watch philosophical YouTube videos in my down time, and I hope that someday I can come to some kind of understanding of the truth. I guess that means I’m kind of lame! 

what’s your favorite time of day? Evening. I love the darkness. The chilling winds and the stars illuminating the dark skyscape is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen, and it’s all right their in your backyard if you only care to look! Well, I guess if you live in the city or something you can’t do that... in which case I’m very sorry! Anyway, the serenity of the night is something the daytime can’t match for me. Peace and quiet are seldom found around where I live, so the silence is very appreciated!

if you could look like anything, what would you look like? Anything you say? In that case I guess I’d look like a calico cat. That away, I could climb along fences and gates or go exploring into the wilderness without anyone looking at me funny! Plus, maybe someone would pet me!

are you a romantic? If you just read my ideal date, the I you’ll probably know the answer. Yeah, I guess I am! I’m not super ditzy or anything, in fact I rarely every feel romantic attraction to people, but I do long to find a soulmate. 

what’s your favorite type of weather? The rain, definitely. If you couldn’t tell, quiet tranquility is pretty much my aesthetic. I love water. It nourishes the plant life and makes everything sparkle with dew, the greenery becomes so much greener and everything becomes so much more vibrant... it’s like the spirit of the world has been born again. And yet almost nobody is out their enjoying it. Fine by me, I’d rather be alone on my walks down the rainy neighborhood streets. Bonus if it’s raining at night, because not only are the walks multiplied tenfold in their beauty, but when you decide to hit the hay the soft pitter-patter of the raindrops can gently lull you to sleep...

what do you like talking about? Well obviously I love to talk about Yu-Gi-Oh!, and I’m pretty much open to talk to anyone about it... but I also love to talk about other fandom! I also love mythology and philosophy (that though provoking shit) and just random trivia in general and it’s nice to talk to people who are also interested in it. Other then all that nerdy cooties, I just generally like listening to other people talk. As long as what you say isn’t completely repulsive to me I’ll probably listen, but I’ll probably crack jokes the entire time unless you’re being really serious. I love funny stuff.

if you got a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? Oh, I’d never even think about a tattoo! I’m far too much of a scaredy-cat, besides the initial pain the idea an image could be burned onto me forever kind of freaks me out. I have no problem with other people getting them at all, just not something I could ever do. I don’t really think I can answer this question adequately... but I guess if I had to choose I’d say something small like an eye or a teardrop. I’d put it on the lower part of my neck to the left side: it would be discrete and not very noticeable, but kind of pretty and thoughtful. Nothing to obtrusive or, dare I say, obnoxious for me.

do you want any pets? I wish! We used to have a dog when I was very little, and then we had a cat when I was about eight or so, but nothing since then. Such a shame, because I am filled with love and affection for cats and dogs especially and would like to have at least one of each someday. If I had to pick which breeds I’d like, I’d say a border collie (they’re so expensive, but hey a girl can dream, right?) and a calico. 

dream job? “When I grow up I want to write books!” I’ve been saying that since I was old enough to write my own stories. Above all else, I want to be an author, but even most of those have other jobs as well. Of course I’ve gone through phases of wanting to be different things... when I was really small I wanted to be a waiter, then in second grade I wanted to be a marine biologist (I saw sea turtles at an aquarium and fell in love. Don’t want to do marine biology anymore but sea turtles are still the some of the most precious beasts on this planet!), but now I’m thinking either an animator, a journalist, or a moral philosophy professor. Who knows what I’ll end up doing, I'm only a freshman right now, after all.

dream place to live? Take me home, country road, to the place, I beloooooooong…! No, I don’t want to live in West Virginia specifically (though that would probably be pretty swell), but the American South is where I grew up and it’s where I want to live. The flourishing flora, sparkling water forms, and the waves of fertile farmland are just some pf my favorite set pieces of the Southern United States. I don’t live there anymore, and there are a lot of social problems down there that might target me specifically, but just for the scenery alone I wish to go back.

dream vacation? Japan! in this dream scenario, I can speak Japanese and navigate the land without many hitches, ordering of the menu and understanding all the signs. I’d go to a maid café and one of those resteraunts where there are stuffed animals everywhere, I’d buy a crap-ton of weeb shit, if I was lucky I’d see a vocaloid concert... and the sightseeing! I’d go hiking on the mountains and see cascading waterfalls and flourishing sakura and  really neat beetles... I hope that happens to me someday!

do you want any piercings? I don’t even want my ears pierced at all, so not at all! I’m not a very flashy person, in fact I’m quite quaint, and I never wear jewelry unless my family somehow bamboozles me into it. I’d never wear any of it, so it wouldn’t be worth some weirdo assaulting my earlobes (or any other body part) for it. 

if you had kids, what would you name them? I think me having kids might be kind of a long shot all things considered (but who really knows, right?) but I do have several names I’m really attached to that I would gladly give to someone. The first is Eve, which I just absolutely adore the aesthetic of. If you couldn’t all ready tell, I love the nighttime, and this name just screams a sort of lovely starlight elegance. Plus, it was the name of my first crush in Harvest moon Magical Melody so... backstory! The other name I’d go with would have to be Jamie. It just sounds so peppy and interesting, it’s a very unique name that I can’t help but love. Not coincidently, Jamie was the name of another Magical Melody character I was particularly fond of, because they were my first experience with gender nonconformity and non-binary gender identity! 

what are your best traits? Am I really the best person to judge that? Well, I guess I can try. I try to be as patient as possible and to keep an open-mind because I hate hurting people’s feelings, believe there is always a kind and peaceful solution, and think every single person deserves personal respect and to be treated with integrity when possible. I’d say of all my traits, those are the ones I try the hardest to foster and exercise.

worst traits? I’m so anxious, literally anything going wrong cans end me into a panic. My family has kind of a history with predisposed anxiety, so I should probably get that checked out... but then the idea of being diagnosed as “wrong” freaks me out a lot. Vicious cycle. This underlying anxiety manifests in some other nasty traits of mine: specifically that I’m a wuss, a doormat, and a pessimist. Long story short, I’m way to worried for my own good.

what’s your worst fear? Well, I’m pretty much afraid of everything! Alligators, heights, amnesia, blood and guts, rejection, underwater tunnels, birds coming near me, loud noises, illness... there’s a lot more, but I’d say my biggest fears are failure and weakness. The two kind of go hand in hand in my mind, and the thought that I could fail and become irredeemable and worthless is petrifying.  

what do you want to eat right now? Something to know about me: I’m always hungry. I snack incessantly, so it’s a wonder I’m still such a skinny little bastard! Right now, I could really go for some sushi. Put some seafood and some avocado on that shit and I’m sold.

favorite social media platform? Tumblr! I mean, it’s really the only social media I have, but still! Even though looking at all the fighting and toxicity on this website that can really make me feel awful, there is an undertone of community that outweighs that for me. Seeing so many fans of Yu-Gi-Oh! and ShrimpShipping in particular makes me feel like I really belong somewhere, and when I see the entire community harmonize to create a positive environment I remember what this life is all about. When I get a heart on a post, I think about how someone liked that post, how something I made or that I said might have put a smile on their face or roused a chuckle from them, and that makes it all worth it to me. Plus, all my mutual are really cool!

favorite article of clothing? Jackets, blazers, hoodies, coats, sweaters, suits... I love that cozy shit! I unfortunately live somewhere really hot, so a lot of times flaunting my style makes me uncomfortable, but it’s worth it too look fly as hell! When it comes to dressing, I’m very butch to androgynous, which makes since because I’m pretty gender nonconforming, I always have been. When I was younger and at a different school I was definitely the tomboy, but now I tend to try and blend in more just because people at my new school seem so much more judgmental. 

do you play any sports? I’ve been playing tennis since I was in third grade! I really only ever play it during the school’s season because there is just so much homework and I’m always busy, and thus my growth has been greatly stunted... but it’s still a really awesome sport. There’s a precision and an elegance to it that just fascinates me, plus it’s not a team sport so I don’t have to worry about screwing my partners over! Unless it’s doubles, which I try to avoid whenever possible. Other factors that make me like it appealing to me is that I have the body for it (tall with freaky long-ass arms) and my dad plays it too, so we can go out and help each other improve our skills. 

favorite meal of the day? Well they’re all great, I mean food is food, but I’m biased to dinner. The biggest most complete meal of the day that packs the most flavor and is the most filling, dinner is great! In my opinion, going to bed on a full stomach is one of the best feelings in the world, so we can thank dinner for that. Plus, my mom lets me eat snacks after dinner so I don’t have to sneak around to eat potato chips... heh.

what are you excited for? ShrimpShipping Week definitely has me excited, because I have so many shrimpy ideas to let loose upon this world... and I’m really looking forward to looking at everyone else’s contributions too! ShrimpShipping Week is the time I can see the most unity within the community, and it truly is a wonderful experience! Also I’m hyped as hell for Smash Ultimate and that currently unnamed Animal Crossing 2019 game... I’m a huge Nintendo fan my dudes.

when was the last time you cried? Like a few days ago? I can’t remember which of these instances came first, but I figured out I got on probation in NJHS because I got (gasp) a C+ in Geometry?! That seriously fucked-up my self-esteem, so I cried about that. But I can’t really remember if that was before or after I rewatched Madoka Magicia (which I personally consider a brilliant work of art and an anime must-see)… well either way I cried really recently.

dream house? Perhaps by the side of a crystal clear lake, maybe by the banks of a babbling brook, possibly by the sparkling seashore... but somewhere near water there would sit a two story house. Crisp hardwood makes up the walls of the construction, and there are windows opening the entire house to gorgeous natural light. Inside, everything is painted soft colors that seem to glow in the light, and every piece of furniture looks like you could sink into it’s soft surface. The downstairs floor has a living room with cases for cards, game boards, and video game disks are displayed neatly and conveniently alongside posters and figurines. It is essentially a nerd rec room. Beside that, the dining room and kitchen are organized and clean, and you can still smell pasta from the night before. A large flight upstairs leads to an upstairs library and study, which then empties out into a cozy bedroom full of stuffed animals and an open closet full of suits and coats. The bedroom has a balcony attached to it overlooking the water source nearby, a quiet and comfortable escape out into the serenity of nature. I suppose that’s all very idealistic, but this is a dream house... so I can have as many plushy sofas and anime girl figurines as I want!

what’s something you hate about the world? How selfish a lot of people are. I don’t mean to sound mean or judgmental, but there are just so many people who refuse to even try to be kind. All they care about is themselves and they don’t understand how much their actions effect those around them, and they certainly never try to adjust their viewpoints. I think there are so any problems we could resolve if we just tried to understand the people around us. After all, they aren’t going anywhere. You might as well try to make life as pleasant as possible for others, right? But that’s just my two cents. 

what’s something you love about the world? Even though the world is full of self-serving close-minded folk, there are also those who are driven and motivated to try to improve themselves and those around them. They want to try to make things more positive for those around them, they want to help those in need, and they believe in people’s capacity to improve. They believe int he ability to change and to improve. And when I see these people join hand in hand to change the world, I feel very inspired. I know it’s not possible to solve every problem, at least not in one go. But seeing people who wholeheartedly try to help out is what I love most in this world. 

what scents do you like? I tend to like scents like chocolate or sizzling steak, the kinds of scents associated with foods. Like I said, I’m always hungry. I also love the smell of nature after a rainy day, it just draws out all the scents from the flora in the most fantastic way. 

what kind of sleeper are you? If a bomb detonated outside my house, I would still stay asleep. In other words, I’m an incredibly heavy sleeper. Basically no amount of rambunctious noise can awaken me from deep slumber, but I am very responsive to someone disturbing my sleeping environment by touch. if the bed rocks or a finger brushes against my face, I’m awake instantly, probably in an anxious sweat. That’s why I can’t sleep in the car. But if you give me a warm bed and take care not to touch me in anyway, I’m dead asleep. 

are you a cat or dog person? Don’t make me choose! I love them both so much, but for completely different reasons. Cats are good because they are cuddly and soft and relaxing, but they for the most part don’t give a fuck about anything. And dogs are nice because they are so fun and loving, and sometimes they seem just as complex as humans in their emotional capacity. I love them both so much, I don’t want to choose!

how long would you survive in a zombie apocalypse? I’d probably be one of the first to kick the bucket honestly. I mean, I’ve beaten my siblings and other kids in wrestling matches more times then I can count, but a zombie apocalypse? I’d be too scared to do anything! The only thing that might push me forward would be the desire to help my loved ones, but even then I think i’d be pretty useless. Suffice it to say I’ll be easy pickings when the zombies come for our brains.

when do you feel safe? I’m pretty much always nervous to be honest, so I guess I feel safest when I’m asleep! 

are you trusting? I actually don’t know how to answer that? I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and when I make bonds I get seriously invested in them, but most people on the streets I’m always a bit on guard about. Got to play it safe, you know?

what fictional characters do you identify with? Alderheart and Hollyleaf from Warriors. Alderheart because he’s really anxious and just trying his best to be useful, and Hollyleaf because she wants to do the right thing and follow the rules but often gets confused and starts going a bit batty. For something that’s not Warriors, I’d have to go with Homura from Madoka Magica, because she puts on a lot of strong fronts to protect those she loves and to avoid failure at all costs. I’m not trying to say I’m as fucked-up as some of these characters or that any of my situations are as bad as theirs were, just that I see bits of myself in them and can feel a connection to them.

what labels do you commonly get? Well there is a lot... fangirl, nerd, overachiever, butch, standoffish, weird, tomboy... if I named all the boxes I’ve been put in I'd be here all day!

what issues are you dealing with right now? Anxiety! That’s all I'm going to say, because I honestly think I’ve said enough about my problems. It makes me kind of uncomfortable shouting my fears into the internet because... it makes me feel guilty? I don’t know. Just... anxious. That’s my problem. 

how can someone win you over? If they display an extensive knowledge of one of my fandoms then I’m instantly sold. Do you know how hard it is to find fans outside of the internet sometimes, and even in the internet? I’m so down to get in any amount of fandom talk!

[soulkiba]

Got tagged by @udonbullets for the 11 questions thing! 1. Do you cry because of book/video games/movies? Oh yeah definetely. Or well, I atleast get teary eyed very easily. It’s kind of rare that I really do cry but it definetely does happen like, the end of MGS4 really did hit me hard, that was definetely the video game that made me cry the most. 2. Choose between card games/video games/board games Video games for sure. But card games and Board games can be alot of fun too. 3. A fictional character you would want as a room mate (and they were room mates) First, the “and they were room mates” vine is by far one of my favourtie vines. But regarding the question...hmm hard one. Harvey from Stardew Valley could probably be a pretty pleasant room mate, maybe Haru from Persona too. It definetely should be someone who doesn’t leave trash everywhere and isn’t too loud or like, smokes. And someone whos open minded and who I could just be friends with easily. 4. What do you crave? I mean, I really hope that I can handle everything thats gonna happen in the next few months but like, thats more hoping and not craving. But I guess a thing that I just really crave is actually a boyfriend. I just, often feel pretty lonely since I basically never get to really hang out and do alot of stuff with friends and all, and well a boyfriend doesn’t really have to fill that I guess cause maybe he won’t even live close to me but...I dunno, often when I’m outside on my own I just kinda imagine how it would be doing that or going there with someone who I would love and who does the same back and it’s kinda sad thinking about it cause I just don’t really get my hopes high. I guess the craving got a bit less once I thought more about the fact that I might never actually find someone more and that I well, just shouldn’t put too much hope into it and be more realistic but...yeah. Sorry if that might’ve been a bit negative. 5. Favourite school subject (any level) In elementary school, it was Art for sure. But later I started liking english more and more, probably because I just was pretty good at it and actually kinda was the best in my class until 11th grade. Art kinda died down a bit, just because we nearly always used water colours and I really started to hate that. 6. Favourite song? Hard to say since my taste in music literally changes every few weeks but yeah, there are some songs that are like, my all time favourites but I actually tend to forget them pretty easily. I think one of my favourites is Daybreak and Fireflies, especially Rachie’s cover. My R also really stuck with me. At the moment I’m pretty deep back into my J-Pop/Rock/Vocaloid phase again and I’m really liking I’m Glad You’re Evil too and Disappearance Addiction. Oh and I totally love Fake Happy from Paramore and Sweet Adeline by Avi and the Sequoias! Sorry for the Music Spam. 7.What super power do you wish you had that isn’t invincibility/immortality/invisibility/teleportation? I mean, it’s maybe a bit op but like, Transmutation would be pretty awesome like, just being able to change an Item into something completely different. and it would be incredibly useful too. Shapeshifting must be really fun too though, like being an animal for a bit or something. Or like, being able to pick things up with your mind, really there are alot of really cool ones but they all seem a bit extreme.  8.If you could only live in one place for the rest of your life would you move? If so where to? Hmm...yeah I think I would. My dream place to live is like, a small wooden house near a big lake in the forest. Not like, absolutely secluded, there should be like a small town nearby and like, hopefully internet too and stuff but that would be very nice. Just being able to live near the sea or at a lake would already be awesome though. Not really a preference regarding which like, country or state. 9.Do you like to wear sleeveless tops? Oh no, absolutely not. Doesn’t mean I despise them or anything but I already don’t like exposing alot of my body and especially not my shoulders cause like, I got fairly bad acne and it’s super annoying and I do have it around my shoulders and my upper back and really no one needs to see that. 10.What do you collect? I collected a bunch of things when I was younger but nowadays...not really anything I guess. Mainly cause it often just costs too much money or I just, lose interest in it. 11.One thing you only tell people you get to know? Hmm...I mean, theres definetely a difference if its online or in real life. Like, I do pretty openly talk about myself to people I meet online cause I usually talk to people there, where I know that they kinda have the same interests but when I know someone in real life, it’s alot harder for me to open myself to them. Maybe a reason why I never had alot of friends back in school, Iw as always quiet and never talked about my hobbies or interests cause I was scared of people judging me and that still happens today. But even with people I know online, it can still be very hard to tell them alot about myself cause I’m always kinda scared of being judged or just being plain annoying when I message them. So usually, with people online and with people in real life, the moment when I can say that I’m comfortable talking to them and that I can talk about things where I’m scared that others would judge me, thats kinda the moment that I really trust someone. I hope that kinda answers the question?

[pureblood-prey]

My Muse’s Childhood Songs

| I was listening to some Vocaloid songs and I found a few that described Yuko, but in her childhood. I’ll explain them so have some feels, also these songs and my explanations have some very triggering content so proceed at your own risk |

Goodbye - Hatsune Miku 

Okay so to start off, Yuko grew up her whole life believing she was worth absolutely nothing. That she was merely being tolerated and that she was only taking up space in the world. She believed that when she died no one would notice or care, she thought as the song says ‘I am a wasted life’.  Although she never attempted suicide because she was too scared to die, she did cause self-harm. Though her Mother didn’t notice because Yuko already had many other scars. 

The Lost One’s Weeping - Kagamine Rin

This song just means that children are put under a great amount of pressure because of the parents, though the parents aren’t aware of it.  Yuko was pressured so much as a child, her Mother made her do everything for her. She made Yuko steal, lie, take the blame, and kill for her. Tsubaki convinced Yuko that if she didn’t do all that stuff then she would never be loved. As a result of all that Yuko developed anxiety and depression issues, and even now she still deals with those problems. 

Abstract Nonsense - Kagamine Rin

Yuko went through a long phase where she just gave up on life. She hated everything and everyone in it. This was around when she was 13, when she was younger she hardly thought about suicide because it scared her but as she got older she contemplating it even more. She believed that nothing mattered, that nothing about her life would ever change. 

Okaasan - Hatsune Miku 

This perfectly shows what Yuko thought about her Mother. Yuko wasn’t scared of the boogie man or anything like that, she was terrified of only her Mother because she knew she was real and that she could cause real harm. In Yuko’s eyes, her Mother was a demon who ‘put up with Yuko’s existence’ as her Mother described it.    

| Maybe I should make this a tag game? If you guys wanna do this then I’d love to see your OC’s past! Have fun with this~ |