#adventures in headcanon

[gothamite-rambler]

Duke Thomas gets added to the payroll

Bruce Wayne (seeing Duke walk past his office): Duke.

Duke backwards walked to Bruce’s office.

Duke: Sup?

Bruce: Did you check your bank account? The direct deposit should’ve hit.

Duke: The what? Oh you were serious about that?

Bruce: Of course, you’re not only my son, but you do work for me and you deserve an income.

Duke: Thanks dude, but I can’t take your money I work at the library.

Bruce: Duke, trust me. You deserve this. I do it for all my kids… except Tim.

Duke: Why not Tim?

Bruce: Long story… he owns part of my company, plus he- he definitely embezzled a lot of my funds before I noticed so him working at my company is his paycheck.

Duke (alarmed): That was him?!

Bruce: Yeah, but that’s not important currently. You enjoy your first payhcheck and I’m proud of you.

Duke: Thanks man.

Duke left the office, checking his phone as he walked to his room. He nearly dropped his phone seeing the four digits in his bank account that had five dollars in it three days ago.

Duke (shocked, happy): Three- Three thousand dollars?! Woooooooo! I’m eating good tonight! No wait, game stop here I come!

Duke ran out the house passing by Stephanie and Jason.

Duke: I can finally buy a PlayStation!

Jason: Wait until he finds out it’s a monthly payment.

Stephanie: I’ll tell him later. Want to go tell Tim about it first?

Jason: 100% yes.

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

I remember discussing Tintin casting choices with a friend from Germany and remarked how it was odd he often has an English accent in adaptations rather than a Belgian one, and my friend just replied "that's because Tintin gives incredibly strong English boy energy (derogatory)"

Here in the UK there's a lot of weird classism tied into accents. Today accent diversity and representation in broadcasting is actively pursued but in Tintin's time there certainly was a preferred accent to have.

imagine this exchange happens between pages 28-29 in The Crab with the Golden Claws

[luca-is-a-pengu]

Take public transportation, they said. It will be fun they said.

I actually went away from my assigned colours and gäbe Tim a new oufit. Mainly cause I feel like he loves baggy clothes.

My working title for this was "Tiny Tim"

[hutaosfuneralparlor]

smitten! jason todd who never thought he was a domestic person until u started coming over more to his place

smitten! jason who always buys you favorite snacks for when u come over 'cause he loves how happy you look eating them

smitten! jason who will literally watch any show or movie with you even if he despises it as long as he gets to cuddle you

smitten! jason who makes u breakfast whenever u stay the night at his place and brings it to you in bed

smitten! jason who started investing more in things for his little apartment to make it more comfortable for you

smitten! jason who enters in a crisis trying to figure out the best time to ask you to move in with him

smitten! jason who loves having you with him in the kitchen while he cooks even if it's to just talk to him

smitten! jason who adores your company no matter what he is doing

smitten! jason who is over the moon when you agree to move in with him

smitten! jason who always loves coming home to you after missions

smitten! jason who is completely and utterly in love with you

reblogs and reposts are highly appreciated !

[8-0mph]

Ice loser party

and drawovers.

[spocks-husband]

I feel like when Bruce first took in Duke he made a very big point of learning how to do Black hair-- and I mean, he WORKED FOR IT. He spent like a thousand dollars on supplies, learned what every possible Black haircare product does, learned 14 different braiding patterns and styles, figured out which ones would be most efficient for patrol and most comfortable under his helmet, probably started listening to soul music at some point during this process-- it was a whole thing.

And when Duke finally moved into the manor and realized that his bathroom was fully stocked with eight different kinds of conditioners, fifteen picks, twelve containers of edge controller, one of those old Hollywood Beauty Tea Tree Oil bottles, etc., he just sorta turns. And looks at Bruce. Who is standing in the doorway very nonchalantly proud of himself for being a good dad. And Duke slowly raises his hand and points at his head. Which has been shaved since well before they met. And Bruce just kinda stares back because, somehow in his weeks of preparation he didn't consider that. And even if he did have hair that needed to be styled and cared for, Duke is like 16 and definitely knows how to do that on his own at this point in his life.

And they just keep staring at each other.

Until finally Duke says "... I think I brought my own durag."

And Bruce just kinda nods and he's like "that's cool. I uh. I'll be. In my office."

And then he goes to the Batcave and stares at a wall for three hours while Duke sends a picture to the sibling groupchat and they all tell him that Bruce just has a thing about babying his kids, he kinda can't help it, he's doing his best, so Duke leaves everything there.

(Eventually, he does start growing out his hair a bit, and on occasion lets Bruce sit him down on the floor and do his cornrows and put little yellow beads at the end because it makes him happy.)

[ggiostar]

lil drawing of my pretty princess

[creepycoffins]

I see you, you see me. How pleasant, this feeling.

[oldmannapping]

HC: The Batfam’s secret identities keep nearly being exposed through dumb mistakes, and citizens all over Gotham are constantly signing NDAs printed on ridiculously formal Bat insignia letterhead.

Tim: Used his Coffee Club rewards card for a free espresso as Red Robin, forgetting it was linked to his civilian identity because it was 3am and he was running on 42 hours without sleep.

Steph: Used her personal phone to tap-and-pay at Batburger with Cass. Bruce got pissy but she’s like, “Who accepts cash in a post-pandemic world, Mr Out Of Touch?” Used the experience to bargain a work phone out of Bruce.

Dick: Poses the exact same way in selfies with fans as both Nightwing and Dick Grayson. “What? Is it a crime to know my angles? I’m not apologising for having a good side!”

Damian: Constantly threatening people in League dialect as Robin and at school. It’s like a super niche language. People notice.

Jason: Grabbed one of his Red Hood jackets because it was cold and accidentally pulled out two grenades and a gun when asked for ID at the bar.

Duke: Straight up used his Signal powers to find something at the back of his locker at school. Like just lit up the hallway. “I thought I was alone!”

Cass: Took out cash from the ATM as a civilian for Batburgers with Steph, and paid as Black Bat. Someone at the bank traced the serial number of the bill and ATM surveillance footage. Batman declared that this wasn’t Cass’s fault and gave her another $50.

Alfred: Outsourced some of the superhero suit laundering to a professional company because he’s ONLY ONE MAN for god’s sake, and sometimes he needs an afternoon off.

Bruce: Literally just keeps adopting kids who look exactly like all the new crimefighters who help Batman. Has a massive public profile and just. Keeps syncing up families with Batman? People are like uhhh is he expecting us not to notice, or?

And all of them have accidentally posted to the wrong social media account at some point.

[dollishmehrayan]

# “MRS. WAYNE I THINK THIS IS FOR YOU!” ── .✦ ( bruce wayne wife headcannons )

a/n: this was request by a anon (here) so yeah but anyways I Lowkey used to be OBSESSED with like batmom stories but like I genuinely then lost all care for liking anything bruce wayne but this might just like help me (jason todd girly converts into a batmom Stan😭) tags: (bruce wayne x fem!reader)

CHAOTIC HEADCANNONS ── .✦

“No, Bruce. That’s Not a Normal Thing to Do.”

You frequently have to remind him that billionaire habits don’t translate to normal life.

Bruce: “I thought I’d buy out the café you like so you wouldn’t have to wait in line.”

You: “Bruce, we’re just getting lattes. Calm down.”

The expensive car Dilemma: He’s tried picking you up in one of his expensive cars once, and you’ve never let him live it down.

“Bruce, we’re not running a car dealership we’re going to Target.”

Tech Mishaps: Bruce likes to show off his gadgets, but they always malfunction around you. Once, the Batcomputer locked him out because you accidentally spilled coffee near it. You took a picture of his shocked face and made it your phone wallpaper for weeks.

The Disastrous Cooking Attempts: Bruce insists he can cook. The truth? Alfred banned him from the kitchen after he tried to “surprise” you with pancakes and set the stovetop on fire.

“I’m Batman, but I can’t handle pancake batter.”

OVERPROTECTIVE HUSBAND™ ── .✦

He’ll interrogate any new friends you bring around like they’re suspects in a heist.

Bruce, shaking someone’s hand firmly: “And what do you do for a living?”

You, glaring: “Bruce, they’re not applying to join the Justice League.”

GOSSIP FINAL BOSS ── .✦

He pretends not to care about gossip, but he secretly listens to you rant about gala drama. Sometimes, he’ll even chime in with hilariously accurate observations.

You: “That woman was glaring at me all night.”

Bruce: “Because she kept seeing her husband looking at you’re instagram posts. Trust me, Alfred told me.”

ROMANTIC HCS ── .✦

Constant Gentleman Mode: Bruce is always opening doors for you, carrying your bags, or pulling out your chair. You tease him about being old-fashioned, but it’s clear he loves taking care of you.

Private Dance Lessons in the Manor: When you’re stressed, Bruce will put on some music in the empty ballroom and sweep you into an impromptu dance. He’s a surprisingly good dancer, but the way he looks at you mid-spin? That’s what makes your heart race.

Personal Love Notes: Bruce doesn’t text much, but he leaves little handwritten notes around the house.

“Don’t forget, you’re the best part of my day.”

“Coffee’s ready downstairs. So is your husband, who can’t stop thinking about you.”

The ‘I’m Watching You’ Look: At galas, Bruce can’t stop staring at you. When you catch him, he gives that little smirk that says, Yeah, you caught me, but I’m not sorry.

Soft Batman Moments: Even in the Batcave, he has moments where he’s just your Bruce. When he sees you waiting up for him late at night, he’ll silently take off his cowl, walk over, and hold you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.

Protective, but Not Controlling: He worries, of course, but he respects your independence. If you’re ever in trouble, though, the Bat is out faster than you can blink. “No one touches my wife.”

Gift Giving Expert: He puts serious thought into gifts. One time, he recreated your childhood bedroom in the manor when you were feeling homesick. “I just wanted you to feel at home,” he said, completely nonchalant.

The Morning Ritual: He wakes up early to watch you sleep for a few minutes (in the least creepy way possible) because it’s his quiet reminder of how lucky he is. When you stir awake, he presses a kiss to your forehead and whispers, “Good morning, love.”

Subtle Public Affection: In public, his affection is subtle—hand on the small of your back, thumb grazing your hand, or an almost imperceptible wink across the room. But behind closed doors? He’s all cuddles and kisses.

Always Puts You First: Whether it’s cutting a patrol short to spend time with you or risking everything to keep you safe, Bruce’s priority will always be you. “The city can wait. You can’t.”

MIX OF CHAOS AND ROMANCE ── .✦

When Bruce tries to be romantic but Alfred bringing him back to reality: Bruce, holding your hand: “You’re the light in my dark world.”

Alfred, walking in: “Sir, you said that to the last woman, too. Shall I fetch your script?”

You once jokingly wore a bat-symbol T-shirt to tease him. Bruce didn’t say anything, but later that week, he wore a matching shirt that said, “I <3 My Wife.”

[superbat-love]

Clark: [stares at Ace] Is that what I think it is?

Bruce: Oh, that’s Chewperman, Ace’s favorite chew toy.

Clark: You let Ace chew on a mini me?

Bruce: That’s what it’s made for. If it makes you feel bad, I’ll make one for Krypto too. He’ll love it, right boy?

Ace: Woof.

The following week at the Fortress of Solitude…

Bruce: Why is this toy kept behind a glass casing? It’s meant for Krypto. [takes it out of the casing and tosses it to Krypto] Here boy!

Krypto: [happily chomps on the Batman chew toy]

Clark: Noooo! Don’t! Krypto, let go of Batsqueak!

Bruce: Batsqueak?

Clark: It just feels wrong, Bruce! I can’t bear to let any harm come to Batsqueak. He should be kept safe in his ice cave, not mauled by giant fangs.

Bruce: …

[gothamite-rambler]

"Weird Questions from a Weird City: Batfamily Edition

Duke Thomas: What’s your biggest fear?

Jason Todd: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone.

Tim Drake: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.

Dick Grayson: Vampires.

Jason Todd: ...

Tim Drake: ...

Dick Grayson: I got turned into one once and nearly killed peoples. It's a bloodlust, you never know when you'll be fully quenched and every non-vampire is a succulent vessel... But I'm not a vampire anymore and that is in my past.

Dick eats his apple after that.

*silence*

Duke Thomas: Holy crap stick, Batman.

Tim: Can I change my option to Dick Grayson?

Jason: Same.

[freys-dumpster-fire]

Baby boy….

[luca-is-a-pengu]

Jason would propably not recommend driving with your sibling who just recently got his drivers licence

Full comic in not seperated pictures below the cut

This was very much inspired by that one tiktok sound.

edit upcoming i guess

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce Wayne is the kind of guy who would rent out a theater to see his daughter perform but won't pay for Spotify Premium

[8-0mph]