#Wayne ; convo

[jennrypan]

Dick: You use to be so cute and tiny..

Jason: And you use to be cool. We both changed.

Dick: Wha-?! I'm still cool!!

Jason: Okay, 'officer Grayson'. Cops aren't cool.

Dick: THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO

Jason: STILL FRESH IN MY MIND, PIG!

Dick: LET IT GO!

Jason: NO. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID FUCK THE POLICE! THOSE WERE WORDS I LIVED BY!

Dick: OH MY GOD. YOURE THE ONLY ONE THAT STILL REMEMBERS THAT!

Tim, walking into the living room: I remember it.

Duke, from another room: I heard about it! You've lost 1000 aura man!

Cassandra, poking her head in: I've also heard about it.

Dick: EVERYONE SHUT UP.

Jason: Just like a cop to order people around like that, shameless.

Dick, groans: Fuuuuck-!

Dick: All of you are going to make me age like milk!

Damian, popping up behind him: Is it wrong to say it's too late for that?

Dick, practically shaking: Damian..I swear to God.

[morganbritton132]

One of the perks of living in Gotham is that occasionally you’ll walk past a Wayne having the most batshit insane conversation anybody has ever had.

Walk past Dick Grayson on the street and hear him say into his phone, “I don’t think he’s anti-vax, but Superman is definitely not vaccinated.”

Stand outside of the downtown WE building and see Tim Drake walk out with his tall friend only to pause and say, “Hold on, I just got the mental image of Lex Luthor pregnant. Thanks for that.”

A lucky few who ride the same subway line as the newest Wayne edition, overheard Duke tell Stephanie that living in Wayne Manor is, “Alright, but when I moved in Jason and Damian gave me a knife and said I had to kill Tim. Said it was tradition.���

“It kinda is. Did you do it?”

“No!” Duke says, to the relief of the overhearers. “Get this…he stabbed himself.”

“…yeah, I should’ve guessed that.”

The downside to living in Gotham is literally everything else.

[frownyalfred]

a scenario where both Bruce and Tim are out and about as civilians and end up needing a rescue from their respective Supers so Jim Gordon has to sit there and watch as Superman (fine as long as he's just visiting) and Superboy (near-identical to the former but says fuck?) carry the two Wayne family members back down to safety while simultaneously playing the "I've never met this man in my life! Just a lucky rescue! / If you even look at my human I'm going to go feral" game all the way down.

[garpen]

Duke: You are so lucky you're my favorite little brother

Damian: Thank you?

Damian: Wait, I'm your ONLY younger brother

Duke: Take what you can get man, your my favorite little brother-even if it's on a technicality.

Damian: Tt that's just like saying Cassandra is our favorite sister when she's out ONLY sister.

Duke: Exactly, now you get it!

[theaceofarrows]

Family interview

Jason: [gesturing to Vickie Vale talking to "Brucie Wayne] Ugh, does she have an off switch?

Damian: [subtly holds up knife]

Jason: No. I'm in civies so I'll have to deal with GCPD charges for that shit

Damian: [puts down knife]

Jason and Damian: [Both sigh longingly]

[jadewritesficshere]

Just thinking about s4 but when Alpha!Eddie grabs Steve to shove the bottle against his neck, he doesn't realize Steve is an omega and accidentally scruffs him. And Steve is just boneless, kinda goes down. And Eddie isn't expecting deadweight and almost falls ontop of Steve but realizes what's happening (let's just say he's fought off a few bullies who scruffed members of his pack). He immediately drops the bottle and holds onto Steve, who tries to scent Eddie. Just shoves his face into Eddie's neck and nuzzles it, lets out a purr unintentionally.

[flamingpudding]

Damain: Drake.

Tim: Demon Brat.

Damian: ...

Tim: ...

Damian: I require access to your power points.

Tim: Oh?

Damian: There appears to have been a slight oversight in regards to Daniel.

Tim: An oversight? About Danny?

Damian: yes.

Tim: ...

Damian: ...

Tim: Which one do you need?

Damian: Hero 101.

Meanwhile in Dukes room.

Duke: Danny why are you hiding under my bed?

Danny: I am not hiding.

Duke: ...

Danny: fine! I am hiding from Dami.

Duke: Why?

Danny: He said I need to have a talk with him when he learned that I go by Danny Phantom in the field and even go out without a mask.

Duke: So, it's not a stabbing threat?

Danny: He called me dearest little brother when he said that.

Duke: ...

Danny: ...

Duke: Dick or Cass?

Danny: Can you ask Jason if I can camp out in one of his safe houses?

Duke: Sure.

Damian: Daniel, I know you are in Thomas's room.

Danny: Hiek!!!

[quotidian-oblivion]

Picture this: Ra's clears out the chessboard and brings out a deck of Cards Against Humanity.

"They say this game is only for the boldest, Detective. Think yourself brave?"

He pulls out the box.

Tim starts laughing so hard he cries and vomits.

Inspired by a conversation with @sardonic-sprite

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

"Hello." A dull thwack sound reverberated across the rooftop, leaving the boy who snuck up on Red Robin clutching his head. The boy, a meta if the large animal ears and tail were anything to go by, shook off the pain and pouted up at him, "What was that for?!"

The vigilante was unrepentant, holding his bo staff in a ready position, "You snuck up behind a vigilante at night. In Gotham."

"Okay," the meta conceded, still pouting. "You have a point there. Robin threw ninja stars at me when I tried to approach Batman."

That got Tims attention, "You tried to approach Batman? Was there something you needed?"

The kid suddenly got serious, "My mom went missing. I haven't been able to contact her for almost two weeks now."

Red pulled his arm closer to his face before he began typing on his wrist computer, "Can you tell me her name and date of birth?"

"Um." The other teen fidgetted with his tail a bit, "Okay, so...she's kinda Cheetah."

"...come again?"

"She's Cheetah. The...the supervillian."

Red Robin stared at him, and honestly who could blame him? The bats hadn't even known Cheetah had a son. "So why are you in Gotham? Why not ask Wonder Woman for help? Cheetahs one of her rogues not ours."

The teen shook his head, "She went to meet someone in Gotham before she disappeared. She seemed really agitated before she left, almost scared. I've never seen her like that before." He paused, giving the vigilante time to type before continuing, "I didn't go Wonder Woman since I figured I would wind up needing to talk to a bat anyway since its your turf and all." He said, waving a hand as if gesturing to the city around them.

"I wasn't aware Cheetah had a kid."

The meta grimaced, "she didn't until a year ago."

Red gave him a look, as if urging him to go on.

The meta chuffed, sounding a lot like whatever big cat he was supposed to be, "I'll only tell you my tragic backstory if you promise to help me find my mom."

"I'll find your mom." The bird said without an ounce of hesitation. Tim was a little offended. Did this guy think he was going to leave his mom in danger just because she was a criminal? Appearently so, seeing as the teen looked so relieved at his words.

"Okay, so my bio parents were evil mad scientists. Always a bad start, anyway they were obsessed with the occult and one day they suddenly took me and my sister to Brazil to hunt for some artifact of another. That alone was strange but weirder still was the fact my creepy godfather was paying for it all. He usually only does something like that when he's plotting "

"Plotting?" The detective interjected, "you make it sound like he does that often."

"Yeah. Hes a supervillian." The meta said casually, as if he didn't just leave Tim reeling, but the kid wasn't done yet, "He's had a massive crush on my bio mom since collage and never let it go no matter how many times she rejected him. She even married my dad, his best friend, and this dude just kept simping for 20 years." The teen rolled his eyes, "Hes convinced himself that if he murders my bio dad then my bio mom will fall in love with him and me and jazz will be "his"." He said that last part with fingerqoutes and a disgusted expression.

Tim filed that away for later, "Can I have his name, if nothing else?"

The teen seemed reluctant for a moment, "You're the worlds greatest detectives. You'll find out even if i try to hide it. Besides, I'd probably be better off if you and the Justice League know everything anyway."

Tim was...surprised by that. Most people usually weren't this open with them.

"His name is Vlad Masters, he also goes by Plasmius when he's dressed like a wannabe vampire. He's a ghost who's repossessed his corpse. My parents are Jack and Maddie Fenton, who are obsessed with ghosts and have convinced themselves that all ghosts are evil and must be destroyed, regardless of how much evidence points to them being wrong."

"And your name?"

The meta grinned at him, showing off four very sharp fangs, reminiscent of the large cat he takes after, "You can call me Jaguar. We were exploring a bit when I broke off from my family and got jumped by one of them. Suddenly I was struck by a claw and turned into furry bait. Fluffy stopped trying to make me his lunch and just stared at me before walking away, which was wierd. Then my parents found me, accused me of being a ghost, because thats naturally what someone would assume when thier son sprouts cat ears," he said while rolling his eyes.

"Naturally." Red joked, which had the benefit of making Jaguar smile.

"So my parents chased me through the jungle, shooting all the while, then suddenly a portal opened up in front of me. I'm not stupid, I know there was no way this wasn't a trap. I mean, a portal opening up right after that bizarre series of events and its the same shade of glowing green as the wierd death go my parents are obsessed with? There's no way they weren't related somhow, but I was desperate and jumped through anyway."

"I landed in another jungle, or the same one in a different location, I'm not sure. I tried hunting and foraging but wasn't very successful at either." Danny still remembered the throbbed in his head when he had headbutt that tree after missing his pounce on that pig he had been stalking. "Thats when Cheetah found me. She took me in and taught me to hunt and fight."

-----

Possible plot twists:

1. Danny isnt Phantom in this au

2. Danny is Phantom in this au but is trying to leave that life behind

3. My favorite. Danny has the ability to manipulate and control animals into doing his bidding with the effect of jaguars and other big cats being the most prevalent and he just doesn't realize it.

One of Cheetahs friends/allies realizes cheetah has changed and suspected something and convinced her to leave for a while to see if her care for this kid faded after a while away from his presence. It works and Danny loses another parental figure/possibly attacked by them too.

[logicaldelta]

Bruce: go have a nap while you're on your break

Tim, grumbling: whatever

*30 minutes later*

Dick: hey! How was your power nap? :D

Tim: I didn't sleep

Dick: ...I held out hope that you would

Tim: sorry not sorry?

[timblrdrake]

i JUST said im not get with it B

[hood-ex]

This is literally the most parent child convo ever.

Dick: How come she [Babs] gets her own cave? I want my own cave!

Bruce: Nobody's getting their own cave.

[muttsona]

always very funny to me that fanon people try to paint red robin 2009 as being worse than it was when its like: this seventeen year old almost died because he was going insane trying to prove to everyone that bruce was alive. no he isnt crazy and youre the crazy one for not believing him. he fell out the window, he didnt know dick would be there to catch him. he was like a plank of wood on that hotel bed, he was bleeding out and he was prepared to die alone. he is nothing if not all the bad events that led up to red robin, and he is the faces that look at him like hes crazy. he isn't crazy.

[frownyalfred]

I know at a certain point in Batman’s career, Bruce really can’t surprise Alfred with much anymore. But. But. The day he came home and casually mentioned that he fell from the moon and survived? Alfred probably needed to take a quiet moment for himself after hearing that.

[violent138]

Jim Gordon's usual partners are the mildly corrupt Montoya, Bullock, and anti-social dubiously human vigilante Batman, and something about Harvey and his charm and careful but thin manners must have freaked out Gordon so much at the start. "You remind me of my divorce lawyer sometimes."

Harvey, wrinkling his nose: "You were married?"

[harrywavycurly]

I know Wayne is the best grandpa so can we maybe see some conversations he has with Dotty?🥹🥹

Hiii lovey!! Oh yes he is the best and I’ll gladly give you some little convos he has with his mini bestie! I hope you enjoy💖

-find all things It Was Just One Night here✨

“Now don’t tell your dad I’m feedin you this okay? You know how he is about healthy shit.” “Shit.” “No don’t go sayin that doll that’s a bad word.” “Bad word.” “Yes now how many donuts do you want? Hmmm?” “Donut!” “Here….take one and go sit in the living room okay? I’ll be right there with your milk.” “Milk! Dotty want milk.” “And Dorothy will get her milk now go sit on the couch okay?” “Kay…donut?” “Yes you can take another donut.” “Kay…lobe you!” “Love you too.”

“Your mom has a birthday coming up so let’s make her some cookies okay?” “Cookies for mommy?” “Yes cookies for mommy…wanna help me make them?” “No.” “At least you’re honest…wanna sit on the counter and watch?” “Yes…oh pinkles!” “Sprinkles doll…these are called sprinkles.” “Sprinkles.” “Good job now…watch your granddad work his magic.” “Grandaddy magic.” “You got that right I’m magic and don’t let that father of yours tell you any different.” “Ohhh yummy cookies!” “Yeah these will be very yummy…let me get them in the oven…don’t you move while I open the oven it’s hot and very dangerous.” “Danger…daddy says no danger.” “Yeah yeah your daddy thinks everything is dangerous for you but just don’t move okay?” “Okay.” “Now…here we go in the oven…they’ll cook in there for a few minutes then we will have cookies for mommy.” “Cookies for mommy!….park now?” “Let’s get these done then we can go to the park.”

“Oh you too grown to hold your granddaddy’s hand huh?” “Hold hands?” “How am I supposed to know where we are going if you don’t hold my hand and lead?” “Sorry…hand…better?” “Much better…now where are we headed?” “Walking grandaddy home.” “You’re walking me home? Trying to get rid of me?” “No…walking dotty home.” “Oh we are going to your house huh? That’s an awful long walk doll…” “park?” “Yeah let’s just walk to the park.” “Slide! Swings!” “Yes we can do the slides and the swings.”