#WHY AM I LIKE THIS WHY CANT I JUST DO THE THING IM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I have this one leatherjacket (my dad’s old one lol, very oversized on me but hoping in a cool way) that I’ve been meaning to take the shoulder pads out bc I’ve got enough shoulder as is & fits weird with those. But guess when do I decide to do it?
A) when I have ample freetime
B) when I have a very non-negotiable important deadline in a few days that I’m already behind on
#if you guessed B you’re correct#it’s 5:30am on sunday I haven’t slept bc I have to get this thing done today but yes this is a priority for sure#also like it’s not a quick process bc gotta sew it back together by hand bc obv I don’t have a sewing machine (I’m not that art&crafty of a#person)#(thinking I’m gonna go through the pocket and just sew the pocket back up bc seems the safest and one of the pockets is already ripped so#would have to sew it anyways)#WHY AM I LIKE THIS WHY CANT I JUST DO THE THING IM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but like it’s a good leather jacket and I don’t want to miss my chance to wear it this year#but sTILL#it could wait a week#but nnOOO IT COULD NOT NEED JACKET NOW SAYS BRAIN#april 2024#2024
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The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...
#I FEEL ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO SAY THAT I COMPLETELY RESPECT SNS TO THE ULTIMATE DEGREE AND I AGREE WITH THEIR SHIPPERS ON MOST THINGS#BUT THE SHIP STILL KINDA PISSES ME OFF IDK WHY IM SORRY IT JUST RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY I HAVE TRIED TO LOVE IT I REALLY HAVE BUT I CANT#AND MADARA HAD SOME GOOD POINTS BUT I THINK ITS SHITTY THAT HE ABANDONED HIS CLAN AND THEN PLOTTED THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD#ALSO ITACHI HAD LIKE OTHER OPTIONS!???? WHY THE FUCK DID HE TORTURE SASUKE TWICE LIKE 😭😭😭#WHAT WAS THE POINT MY G WHY ARE YOU TORTURING HIM I THINK THE MENTAL IMAGE OF THEM DYING WAS ENOUGH DIDNT NEED TO GIVE HIM 500000 EXAMPLES#WE AS A SOCIETY DO NOT TALK ENOUGH ABOUT THE FACT THAT WHEN MADARA ASKED HASHIRAMA TO EITHER KHS OR KILL TOBIRAMA#TOBIRAMA GENUINELY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT THAT HASHIRAMA WOULD GO AFTER HIS THROAT FOR LIKE- THIS GUY WHO HE USED TO THROW STONES WITH!???#ITS SO DIFFICULT TO FIND PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND SASUKES TRAUMA AND WHO LIKES SASUSAKU 😭😭#COS LIKE ILL 100% ADMIT THAT THE RELATIONSHIP WAS WRITTEN SHITILY AND SUCKED AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE BROTHERS#SNS HAS BETTER WRITING THAN SSK OR NRHN SOMEHOW???? ITS WRITTEN SO WELL PEOPLE GENUINELY BELIEVE THE ORIGINAL PLOT HAD SNS PLANNED#BUT ALSO SAKURA IS SO SILLY AND STRONG AND DID ANY OF YOU READ SASUKE RETSUDEN “Trapped by a body he knew perfectly”#OKAY SASUKE YOURE ON A MISSION??? CALM THE FUCK DOWN 😭😭#NO AND IN LIKE SSK FICS SASUKE IS SOME BAD BOY WHO JUST SMIRKS AND IS EMOTIONLESS AND SAKURA IS SOOOOO EMOTIONAL FUCK OFF YOU TWATS!!!!#SASUKE IS THE KITTEN!! SAKURA SO OBVIOUSLY RADIATES DADDY ENERGY YALL ARE FUCKING INSANE!!!#WHY DO WE GET KITTEN SASUKE IN EVERY OTHER SHIP BUT THE FUCKING CANON ONE!! AT MY FUCKING!!!! LIMIT!!!#FIND SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE COMPLEXITYS OF SASUKES CHARACTER AND UNDERSTANDS WHAT TRAUMA DOES TO A PERSON YET DOESNT HATE SSK CHALLENG#Uh oh I went a bit mad there hahaha#I REGRET NOTHING SASUKE DID NOTHING WRONG SAKURA IS GIRL BOSS AND THE NARUTO WORLD IS EITHER UNEXPLAINABLY VIOLENT OR FAR TOO FORGIVING#naruto#naruto shippuden#itachi uchiha#pro sasuke#haruno sakura#Pro Sakura#Sasuke Uchiha#sasuke did nothing wrong#It looks awkward to just go from all those long tags to the iddy bitty ones#Moldy-flowers#Kitten and daddy? Tf am i on about I've been watching too much game grumps shi 😭😭
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is it an autistic experience to ALWAYS be the one in a friend group who gets left out, alienated, secretly disliked, then kicked out of the group?
#autistic#autism#actually autistic#autism things#asking autistics#i want/need a friend group but it ALWAYS GOES BAD!!!!!!!! AND ITS SOMEHOW ALWAYS MY FAULT?! idk what im doing wrong. people suck.#but i need people and i hate that about me. why cant i split myself in half a few times#or learn how to do group activities alone....like playing tennis. going to the amusement park ive wanred to go to since i was a kid.#drive alone on long trips where i will fall asleep but talk to myself so i dont or something. walk on the park trails alone where people#get kidnapped and stuff when alone. go to a convention and cosplay a group of characters alone. one for each finger....#if you cant tell im being sarcastic. and doing a bad job. sighs. i hate that i have to do everything i need/want a group for alone because#i cant make friends or make groups keep me in them. assuming because im autistic and they hate me 🙃#eother that or im a piece of shit and dont realize it!!!!! how am i supposed to know when no one tells me!!!! 😭😭😭😭#so is it actually me and my fault or is it because im autistic and people just do this to us for some reason#autism stuff
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can someone nice (!!) please please please adopt me im begging you im requesting you (huge word vomit and vent in tags, pls dont read if u dont want to!! and if you don't want this stuff on this blog PLS lmk!! i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy! )
#tw vent#yes ik i have a vent blog#but idk why i dont wanna go there#ill prolly delete this in a while + if i vent here (which ill try not to) ill always tag it#but if any of yall aren't fine with it pls do lmk!!! ill stop <3#Anyways.#fucking hell i hate this.#dude#i very specifically told them to hurry the fuck up THEY were the ones making us late#i have told them a hundred times the minimum time i jeed to get ready#i told them this morning too that you guys make us late then put it all on me#nad she went like oh no dear dont worry that wont happen#WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH#and like the lecture and huge ass scolding and then cold shouldet ive been getting from BOTH of them before i left for coachinh#im just tired atp#idk its not even that big a deal this happens everyday#i dont know how to feel#idk if im even rly feeling anything atp#its just that i really fucking hate being here#I wanna get the fuck out#but thing is this makes me feel kinda guilty occasionally#for eg a few days ago i was rly sick and she took care of me kinda#and then that made me feel bad for hating her#but then things like this happen and i cant help it and i feel so conflicted#i dont want to stay here i know that for sure but i feel guilty for it#if i speak im being rude and backtalking#if i dont speak im being rude and ignoring#the fuck am i supposed to do????#she always tells me to 'stay silent and just hear it'#and when i do that she keeps shouting again and again and finally i say smth bc although its extremely fucking dumb of me to open my mouth
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#overthinking a shitty interaction fromna few days ago#ppl talking about me in the notes as if I wasnt there#someome said 'why is he being so familiar?'#i was talking like i normally talk. going for generally empathetic and understanding with an amount of snark bc they were being rude#i shouldnt have engaged to begin with but I was like oh i have good proof to refute this nonsense claim#forgot for a hot second that with some people its about their enotions and what they want to do with it and not. facts#nit like problemnsolving rather than listening it was a bullshit trans discourse claim based on very little of substance#and now im like. why was I so “familiar”?#i dont think I was overly familiar. idk if they were upset I wasnt rising to their bait and being aggressive so they could fight me#such a weird thing#also ran across a pill that makes you green comic with one of those guys who divert conversations like why are you trans im worried about#your mental health must be causing your transness friendo buddy bud my bestie#i dont think I was doing that#they were also really grasping at straws to misinterpret me which I think means I did a decent job being kind#im just spinning about it bc sleep is really eluding me#i should just forget about it#why is he so familiar?? am i supposed to talk like a formal fedora mlady dude?? am I just expected to be an aggressive asshole?#interact like its a legal proceeding??#i have no idea#hopefully now ive got it out i can think about something else#bc it was a totally ffuitless cinversation except as a reminder to not get involved in absurd and spiteful discourse!#tbh a bunch of recentish pills that make you green was making me uncomfortable but the metaphor is abstract enough that I cant logic through#where my disagreement is. just the vibes were kinda of....exclusionary? in ways I cant fully out my finger on?#im just q bit sad disappointed is all cause I have liked them before#i need to find something to do. if youve got this far can you reccomend me a good sleep podcast? doesnt need to be A Sleep Podcast TM#just white noise basically to keep my brain busy that doesnt matter if I only hear pieces of it#have a good one ❤#mine
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Really feeling that post abt how yearning and loneliness is great until you're curled up on your bed whimpering at the ache in your chest like a wounded dog. are we cooked chat.
#in the words of dad rock icons shinedown: ITS 4AM AND I CANT SLEEP#why am i haunted by things. things of the past and of the present#is it missing people who stopped thinking about me long before i stopped thinking about them?#who in the daylight hours i can disdain and scoff at but at night i can admit i miss the ease with which we once existed?#i wonder how they're doing now. i see their updates from a distance things i would have once celebrated alongside them#im happy for them. it shadows me. im happy i know theyre well. i wish i never heard of it#or is it the overthinking of the now? is it because of the past?#is everyone doomed to be ghosts. is there beauty in that#is it anxiety to feel so out of place in places and people that felt. feel. like home#do i know what home is meant to feel like? to miss? i suppose ill find out soon.#is it just because of the fact its 4am? is this just the fact i havent eaten much recently. am i not exercising enough or drinking enough.#how can i stop the loneliness that never seems to go away before i become a ghost haunting my own life#OR is it all just bc i read a really bittersweet and haunting fanfic that ruined me#haha gotcha im actually big chillin and sad abt fictional lil guys (said very unconvincingly)
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because im curious
#vote and reblog 😠#my answer is mostly to jork it but sometimes it depends on the day#i have been reading so much smut the last few days (im on my period + kinktober + its all tumblr recommends)#but like so many smut fics read the exact same like they have the same exact beats the same actions the same everythings#like i cant read most of my smut fics bc i hate how they feel so copy pasted like i wish i put more effort into them#anyway i just wonder why they all seem so samey when like if im reading this to jork it its kind of repetitive#and if im reading this for the story ive already read this same exact thing tons of times#the real answer is smut is the only thing that gets any notes worth value so its easier for me to just write whatever smut yall want#instead of spending four months working on a masterpiece only to get like 22 likes and 1 reblog with no tags#but also like . i read the smuts . yeah a lot of them are very similar but i am reading them .#anyway im just curious + am working on smut fic so i want to know what readers think i suppose#obviously none of the things are bad like im not judging fic writers or asking for anything im just making observations like thats it#like im mostly judging myself plus i realize this is simply my experience and is not an overall truth yap yap yap#do i make sense. do u understand me.
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i just want this to be over already
#i HATE being closeted#i hate it i hate it i hate it#but what the FUCK am i supposed to do about it?#come out and utterly destroy my own life?#thats just fucking stupid#i KNOW im better off closeted#i know im safer this way#i know the risks if i come out or am outed#i know the possibility of it ruining my entire life#but i also DESPISE being closeted#i despise lying and i despise keeping secrets and i despise feeling like no one really knows who i am#why cant things just be easssyyyy and make seeeeennnnnsseee#threee pigeons in a trench coat
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hoping the "um did u know ada rook is problematic" type remarks will remain few and far between because im not gonna stop listening to a person's music or feel the parasocial let down just because she stole some money or was unpleasant about it
#i understand why some people feel extra bad about this bc that art was deeply moving for them in a way it cant be for me#but for my part i never really had a pedestal for rook so its pretty easy to keep doing the same thing i been doing#like what am i supposed to do...witch hunt her? pretend i dislike her music over financial drama? ok#i honestly feel uncomfortable even being clued in on the situation since it was already settled legally#feel like im watching women taking pot shots at each other over something very personal involving the money of fans#but that's like just me lol
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the difference between good whispangle and bad whispangle is the difference between trusting each other the most and only trusting each other. between getting stuck in the past or letting the future embrace you. between holding a close bond and being desperate for each other’s company. between being a pair and being a unit.
good whispangle is tangle helping whisper stay in the present and future, and whisper being a guiding hand, a steadying of tangle’s impulse, and the both of them making choices that help and comfort the other.
bad whispangle is tangle getting dragged into dwelling on the past with whisper, is tangle being made to overstep instead of minding the lines she should be able to see, and whisper sinking into a mire that tangle follows her into instead of pulling her from. is putting them together ‘because they’re whispangle’ and forgetting why they were loved together in the first place. is keeping them together because they’re whispangle, even when they trod on the other.
and the difference is,
that if it starts out bad and becomes better, it’s satisfying, heartening.
but to start out excellent and then get worse and decay, feels like a smear or a stain on top of a beloved work.
a natural decay can be done, but we want them to be good together, to bring out the best in each other instead of enabling the worst. if we want to see decay, it is because it makes sense for one or both of them to be driven off-balance and start messing with the other, we want one or both of them to realize this, and we want them to have to jump-start and kick aside and course-correct and come out all the better, for having broken their flaws open and mended them with gold.
we don’t want to see them broken apart and stuck back together with cheap glitter glue.
#somewhat critical so im not tagging them. and its under a readmore. if you see this thru search i love early whispangle &#im not sold on recent dynamics with the ‘neo diamond cutters’ (please use any other name - even if it sounds stupid like ‘ruby tusslers’)#some of them. some of the other bits of their recent dynamic are so good. but it’s a mixed bag#mostly i am a person who loves characters to be capable of being independent. and functioning by their lonesome#idk like i can see tangle being desperate & wanting whisper to stay. what i CANT see if her going ‘lets be the diamond cutters!’#esp without asking whisper.#like you can try and justify it ‘shes trying to keep their memory alive as a positive reminder instead of a dead name’#and i agree that that is justifiable but i just dont like the decision. it doesnt add enough for what it takes away to me#additionally i feel like if tangle & whisper were just the main characters they wouldnt have so many issues (ha. issues. comic)#but because they’re sometimes just absent for 3-10 issues at a time because other characters get a turn#& important developments or open-ended storylines are left bare as bone. (what did tangle do to search for whisper? where did she go?)#if you’re trying to give tangle complicated feelings and have her muse over things & explicitly be supposed to#be considering reforming a ‘diamond cutters’ during the time she’s missing whisper. she should have explicitly been considering that#instead of 0 to ‘lets reuse the traumatic name with no warning’. whisper not knowing? sure. the audience having no clue? bleh.#fair warning i am typing this at 12:30am with a mild headache so maybe i dont make sense#naturally a disclaimer that if you like this go you!! i would be interested in hearing why you like it#but i don’t like it the way i’m currently seeing it
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i am really never going to understand why people post "shifting antis dni" in the astral projection tag. "here practice that constantly gets appropriated by us and used as a weird justification for a new set of beliefs that aren't really based in the same reality you work with, and that also gets completely misunderstood by our community because we don't care to understand what you do and just pretend we know it's what we do like christians saying other religions worship the christian god, have a post! Also dni if you don't like our practice that has nothing to do with the one whose tag we just shoved this into"
if you're not astral projecting don't put shit in the ap tag. if you don't even know the difference between AP and RS I dont think your opinion holds enough weight to counter the pushback against flooding a separate practice's tag with "if you dont like the practice I'm talking about in your tags dni"
#I mean on the other hand I sure am Not Interacting my god#Im not of the opinion RS isnt a thing. I know its a thing - its a complex programming of mental spaces that branches off of#actually. I wont say it branches off things. Its its own thing like autovisions dreams mindspaces and other simulations - but it is#ultimately mindwalking - or whatever term someone else would want to use I just coined that for myself. It's travelling and projecting#into the Mental Realm. which is. explicitly. not the Astral realm. It's still a thing! It's not lucid dreaming or imagination. Very much th#early stages of it and experiences of those who cant programme the reactive mental into settling are gonna be lucid dreams and#imagination - just like what happens when youre not good at AP. but like. it's. a fucking. separate practice#and i do not understand flooding tags that arent what youre talking about and then saying ''dni if you dont like what im talking about''#like yeah theres an element of ''dont blame people for how others treat them'' - its not a case of ''you piss people off and then expect#them to not hate you?'' its explicitly a case of... you are continuously misunderstanding AP and using it as a backing#for your own practices and mixing up the two showing you have fucking No idea what youre doing with AP... so how else are we#supposed to take RS other than ''its a complete misunderstanding of AP and clearly it isnt even developed enough as a practice nor#based on enough truth to have its practitioners have the slightest clue about off-plane and OOB practices... if this is what RSers think of#the world and how it works and this is the depths of their understanding of it I cant support Shifting as anything more than#fantasy with vague references to established practices used incorrectly as justification''#~abyssal murmurs#like. tldr. youre putting it in the way of a tonne fo Anti Shifters because a) youre putting it in the tags of an art your art steals#justification from and chronically chooses to misunderstand and walks all over and b) you're showing a complete disrespect to the#practice of AP by posting this in the tags showing that your ''information'' and ''teaching'' is so misinformed you think AP and RS#are the same thing... so of course people are going to see that and think negatively of your practice. Not out of spite - but as a reaction#in the way of you are showing us that your practice is shallow and misunderstood#Look! If i walk into a jewish theology lesson and the speaker is convinced christianity and judaism are the same religion#to the point that when they post on social media they tag both when they talk about either... it looks like that speaker is clueless if the#cant even getthe basics of ''So what is it that I'm teaching about?'' answered right. If you cant even define the boundaries#of your practice as ''this is our practice this isnt'' then why is anyone going to think what youre teaching is real and grounded#and worth listening to and anything more than a crock of shite based on sounding mystical and Love and Light and freeing#at the cost of turning your mind off to just Believe what youre doing is grounded outside the mental??? why would people NOT#see these posts and BECOME antis
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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#im such a private person irl and for what like what purpose does this serve#all it does is distance me from people and keep me from making deep deep connections i know that very well#its just the act of opening up and being vulnerable especially when people aren’t groveling for me to open up is so unimaginable and#horrible#why do i do this like why i rlly dont want to share anything abt myself i just wanna know everything abt everyone while not sharing#anything abt myself#and then at the same time i am feel deeply disconnected and not understood and not known by anyone in my life except my mom#which im grateful for at least i have her but why cant i be that same way with friends i have literally had for 20+ years#i know i have to open up unprompted like without someone begging me to do so or its just gonna get worse and worse#but at the same time if there is this friend and shes curious idk theres just a million different things running through my head and im#just not ever a 100% honest or genuine with them#i guess in a way i also want to be seen in a certain light and as a certain someone and i do try to preserve an image of sorts even though#thats ridiculous to do with your fucking friends idk i guess im pretentious as shit?#i dont even know anymore#more than anything its like often when i share sth that was hard for me to open up abt i feel like ppl dont treat that with care or at#least havent in the past#and i rlly rlly hated that a lot and just i dont know#i told my mom some of the things my friends have said to me which has upset me and she was it sounds like they dont know you at all#and then she said but can i tell you that this is your own fault#and im like. i know. whag are they supposed to do#idk why am i like this what purpose does this serve omg id love to spend a day as an oversharer irl just to get a glimpse of what its like#i know this sounds odd bcs me online is just pure word vomit but thats probably also overcompensation cause i dont share these things with#my friends aka the ppl who i should actually be talking to#anyways
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i dont wanna eat anything or do anything and i just wanna lay around but i also dont wanna do that and i dont wanna watch anything or read anything and idk what i wanna do
#i was supposed to have someone review my resume and i was banking on the fact that maybe talking to someone instead of being alone in my roo#would help me out but the whole appointment system maker thing was messed up so we couldnt even meet#so i literally hvae nothing better to do than wait the next few days to get back to campus#and i was soooo excited to go back to school and i still am cuz i know itll make me feel better being around people#but im just a lot less excited than i was#cuz i just really really hate the idea of having to spend another fall semester getting over someone#like i couldve probably handled spring semester. but fall semester???? when theres already enough desolateness as it is???#like i just hate hate htae the idea of being on buses and starting to cry again and its midnight at 4pm when im crying#and theres people everywhere and the wrost part is shes literally on the same campus as me!!! so now i might actually see her!!!#and i dont want to!!!#i want to be friends but right now i know if i see her again ill just start sobbing on the spot#i was so excited for thsi fall sem but now im just notttt#and i know ill be busier (hopefully) this sem so im sure ill be better off than last year#but still like. idfk i dont know what to do. i think i just need to hear someone elses voice#im supposed to talk to my friend later today so maybe thatll help#cuz im kinda ready to tell someone about it but what if she telsl me she cant call what am i suppsoed to doooo#cuz last year the person iw as getting over lived a bajillion miles from me so it was easier!!! but she and I live 5 mins from each other#AND SHES FREINDS WITH LIKE ALL MY ROOMMATES#THEYRE ALL HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS !!!!#GODDDD.#i mean there are def upsides to this . for example its good we broke up now#cuz imagine if we broke up cuz of a fight and then thered be a big issue in the friend group#but it ended well and i dont think our friends / roommates will be 'picking sides'#as long as i just dont do anything drastic lol#adn who knows maybe our friendship will bounce back and i really hope it does!!#but she and i didnt start off as friends we kinda went into this knowing we were into each other to begin with#so like how do i be friends with her you know???#and friendship is soo important to me so its not like i dont want to be friends with her. i really really do. i just dont know how itll wor#like i value friendship over romantic relationships any day but also our relationship felt so deep to me#which is why im scared that we wont be friends even though i know we both want to be
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i did the bad ending of a date with death and my friend proceeded to tell me "make him die" and now im curious if that could possibly become a thing,,, i mean theres the soul balancing, and then the danger of being caught breaking rules.... i do love angst..... (at the same time the bad emding made me feel so bad. boyfriene im soery ily boyfriemd
#a date with death#boyfiend#oops crisper gets caught ans gets fucking deleted#yeah im calling him crisper. crispy evem#yeah i am on my tablet. yeah i cant type on this thing.#i almost typed something like oops crisper getebcaug but ane gets fuckingbeyxteerhyu330#cryung#anyway we should be allowed to get him killed. why do i have to die?!!!#i think i would end up gegting bad end 2 if i was the player . like#SPOILERS but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#im supposed to be dead anyway amd you just told me i can give pieces of my soul to heal people??? what the fuck! you expect me to just??#do nothing with that???#i have people i love??? im not just??#not gonnq do anything for them???
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it IS funny when lev sees something through me like. "oh. is that why people are scared of me. i guess that makes sense"
#GOD. cant remember the first thing#second thing i remember was he saw the warden spawning in minecraft and was like ''haha thats relatable. oh. hmm. ok. guess#i can see how people feel when i arrive (in places/times hes an enemy).'' bc like unkillable thing just emerging through reality....#now im sitting here like ''ohhh yeah no i remember you doing that. i remember the total reality erasures i remember the like. you#being in every atom and not taking advantage of it but simply manifesting where you are and that. hmm''#and hes like ''yeah - huh. hmm. ok. i guess. hmm. ok''#GOD i wish i could remember the first thing because its always like. idk why i find this funny and Entertaining Af lmfao (i do) but#~abyssal murmurs#avoiding posting this because its a double-edged sword lmfao the realisation is supposed to be double-sided and i am avoiding my side
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