nickbutnodick

[nickbutnodick]

i love the phrase "sex pervert" like. as opposed to what? abstinence pervert?

[nickbutnodick]

vaginal discharge is when your pussy so bad they kick you out of the military or what ever

[nickbutnodick]

i really lucked out and won the girlfriend lottery. genuinely i could not dream of a better partner. like what the hell how did this happen.

[nickbutnodick]

your dashboard is supposed to be at LEAST halfway full of shit you have no context for and fandoms you're not involved in. it is the natural way of the universe

[nickbutnodick]

me, telling my girlfriend about the bone wars as she responds with how fucking gay it sounds: wait. one second. i have to look smth up.

*30 seconds later* I FUCKING KNEW IT (sent with a screenshot of the edward drinker cope/othniel charles marsh tag on ao3)

my girlfriend: you read fanfic? you freak

me: youre just jealous bc im more mature than you, you wattpad kid

my girlfriend: HEY. HOWD YOU KNOW THAT

me: youre literally into mcyt. and you had a gacha phase. thats the natural next step.

[nickbutnodick]

"but they hate eachother" "this ship makes no sense" "that would never be canon" "they're only friends" "but one of them is already dating someone" "they'd be toxic together" don't caaaare I'm consuming media of them being insane about each other and falling in love in situations you couldn't fathom

[nickbutnodick]

Top Shelf - Gator Days

[nickbutnodick]

i need money so i can take my beautiful girlfriend on a trip to the aquarium and show her sharks

[nickbutnodick]

Growing up as a religious kid and being just obsessed with ancient mythology in general now i cannot help but notice the parallels between the characters of achilles and king david. like

- they're both described as blond(ish) and very beautiful in their youth

- they both have a very close relationship with god(s)

- they're both warriors and royal figures

- they both play the lyre

- they're both known for their virtues as well as their vices

- they both serve a king who's envious of them bc they're famous and do way better in fights

- they both get mad over pretty girls

- they both have a slightly older, super platonic warrior bro best buddy who keeps expressing a deep affection for them and who they also exchange armours with

- and when said bro gets killed in battle they both express their heart-wrenching grief by lamenting over their bodies and stating to have loved them like their own life/soul (literal quotes BOTH IN THE ILIAD AND THE BIBLE)

Maybe one thing they don't have in common is that one dies young while the other dies old

[nickbutnodick]

crywank can solve all of my problems

[nickbutnodick]

I know some of you will love this

[nickbutnodick]

So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”

To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”

I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.

[nickbutnodick]

[nickbutnodick]

I like how the homestuck pilot stuff is just giving everyone a rude awakening that a lot of indie creators know each other and respect each others work and that your individual cringe does not exist in a vacuum. And that at the end of the day you’re all clowns.

[nickbutnodick]

i love dinosaur lectures

"many of you may know that there is a pattern to limb bones. how many bones are there in this part?" (points to upper arm) "one. how many are in this part?" (points to lower arm) "two. how many are in this part?" (points to hand) "lots. thats the pattern. 1-2-lots."

[nickbutnodick]

Follow for the same picture of the rock every day

[ image id: a picture of a grey and white rock on a white background, with a stock photo water mark overlaid on it end id]

[nickbutnodick]

Old, but still relevant