#This is gonna be so bad when I actually get to the last part of this I wanna do 😭
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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 8 hours ago
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Twelve Days: Part 2^**
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In days 5-8 Y/N confronts her sister about her behavior. The tension between Harry and Y/N starts to grow as they continue spending more time together after hours until it's just impossible not to address it. READ PART 1 HERE
Warnings: infidelity, break ups, mentions of depression and anxiety and their symptoms, mentions and use of alcohol and drugs, breast/ nipple play, dry humping
WC: 7.1K
Day Five:
When you woke up the following morning you were alone in the bed which definitely was for the best because you felt really guilty for the night before. Yeah, you hadn’t actually gone through with anything terrible, but you two had crossed a boundary that shouldn’t have been crossed. Maybe it was because you were both a little heartbroken over the things that you were going through personally, but ultimately, that didn’t really justify anything. 
Despite the very successful night of sleep you’d had, you felt a little unwell. Your stomach felt funky and your thoughts were going a hundred miles a minute. You didn’t want to get out of bed today even though you knew that a walk around the neighborhood would help you feel a little less gross, both physically and mentally. It seemed like a great day to just be lowkey and rot and then your door creaked open and you sat up to see your mom peering in.
“Sorry, I thought you’d still be asleep. Was just seeing if your sister had stayed with you or something.” She explained with a worried expression on her face.
“No. I was alone. All night.” You added with a nervous lump in your throat.
“Hmmm
did she say anything to you last night?”
“No. But she was out with Claudia, she’s not here?”
“She is, but she said they came back together.”
“Maybe she went out for a walk or a run. I saw her the other day when I went out.” You explained and she nodded and left.
The logical thing to assume was that she had spent the night with that guy she was sleeping with. Doing this on a family trip was a new low. Suddenly, you didn’t feel so bad for having the hots for Harry because she was out with another guy! That alone was enough to motivate you to get out of bed and you called your sister while you paced around your room back and forth waiting former to pick up. 
“Hello?” She hummed happily and you sighed.
“Where are you? Everyone’s freaking out!” You whisper shouted, trying not to sound too angry with her because you technically weren’t supposed to know what was actually going on.
“I went to have breakfast with a friend! I left a note by the door!” She said and you sighed, “I’ll be back in like an hour tops.”
“Why didn’t you text Harry back then?”
“I didn’t want to text him and wake him. You guys did a lot yesterday and he was pretty tired. I got back late and slept in Claudia’s room.” She fibbed and you hummed.
“Well just
hurry back.”
“Yeah. Bye!” She said and hung up quickly. 
You got your slippers on and headed out to the kitchen where your mom was making coffee for everyone.
“She answered my call. She’s out at breakfast with a friend who’s also here, I guess.” You said and just like that, the crease between your mother’s brows was ironed out. 
“Oh, thank god.”
“She said she left a note by the door.” You said and your aunt hurried over and was soon back in sight with a piece of paper.
“I may have missed it in my panic!” Claudia chuckled and your dad rolled his eyes.
“Well, what do you guys want to eat?” Your mom asked.
“I don’t care, I just want some mimosas.” Harry said and headed to the fridge to get the champagne.
“Excellent idea!” Your dad exclaimed happily and you smiled and started heading back to your bedroom.
“Hey, where are you off to?” Harry asked.
“Just gonna wash up and get dressed.” You informed and he smiled and got back to his task. 
Despite her promise to return in an hour or so, your sister was not back until nearly two in the afternoon. Your parents were inside watching a movie with your aunt and you and Harry were pretending to play tennis. Pretending because you had no idea what you were doing, you were just winded from all the back and forth. It wasn’t as easy as it seemed. You and Harry were laughing about you accidentally hitting the ball over the fence when your sister came out to the back and towards the pool house. Suddenly the laughter died down and Harry headed towards you.
“I should go talk to her.” He said and you bit your lip for a second.
“Ummm
let me.” You said, “I can get her to tell me the truth and then talk a little sense into her.”
“You shouldn’t have to
”
“I know. But this is super fucked up and everyone’s all confused and she’s just going to yell at you, so let me try.”
“Alright.” He agreed and you nodded once before heading towards the pool house.
You did feel extremely nervous as you reached for the door handle but you had to talk some sense into her. It seemed that she was just over pretending to be happy and didn’t care how it all came out. However, you knew that your sister actually really cared for how she was outwardly perceived, so this was extremely out of character for her. As soon as she heard the front door open she sighed.
“Spare me the argument, Harry. He’s gone.” She called out as you rounded the corner.
“Who’s gone?” You asked and she quickly turned around from walking over to the bathroom.
“No one. Just a friend Harry’s jealous of.” She mumbled with a shake of her head.
“Mmm
some friend that must be because Harry’s not the jealous type.” You said as you sat on the corner of the bed. Showing her that you had no intention of leaving any time soon.
“And how would you know that?”
“Because I’ve known the guy for almost 10 years, Julie! It takes a lot to upset him. Him not being the jealous type was one of the things you really liked about him when you were dating. You told me about it many times.” You reminded her. “You’ve got everyone thrown for a loop with how you’ve been acting.”
“Oh my god
don’t make this a thing.”
“I’m not! This is very much a thing already. What is going on, huh?” You pressed and she sighed.
“Nothing, Y/N! Just mind your business.”
“What’s really going on?” You pressed and she groaned.
“You wouldn’t even understand so just stay out of it, Y/N!” she raised her voice.
“Try me.” You said simply and her anger seemed to dissipate and she just stood there for a second, genuinely giving it some thought. And then her eyes started welling up.
“I can’t.” She said and you frowned.
“Why not?” You questioned.
“Because you’re going to think so badly of me.” She said and you frowned.
“Jules, I’d never judge you.” You said sincerely and she sighed. “Look ummm
Harry, h-he told me about you.” You said carefully and her jaw dropped as her tears started to fall. She quickly sat beside you and started sobbing, so you pulled her into your side. It was strange for you but you wanted her to know that this mistake she had made wasn’t enough to make you not love her. Despite your slightly complicated relationship, she was important to you and you wanted nothing more than the best for her. “It’s okay
” you assured her. 
After she calmed down some, you grabbed her Stanley for her and let her drink a bit as you grabbed some toilet paper so that she could blow her nose. She let out a long exhale and then let herself fall back onto the mattress.
“I’m a major demisexual and I’m in love with someone else and yes, I’ve been
having an affair with him.” She confessed.
“For how long?” You asked.
“There’s been three separate times.” She explained, “The first time Harry and I had been dating a few months and ummm
it happened at a work party and it went on for about a month. It ended because Harry caught us a friend’s wedding and he dumped me for a few days for it. Then again, right after Harry and I got engaged.” You frowned as you heard this, “And that one lasted like four months.” She explained and your jaw slightly dropped upon hearing this. “I know
and it just
it fucked me up! I started to doubt and was sort of on the fence until we were like three months away from the wedding! I just, I was trying to find the courage to end it with Harry.” she cried and you nodded as you listened, “And then it was the month before the wedding and I missed my period.” Julie explained and you nodded. “By that point Joey and I hadn’t seen each other for three months! Because he had given me an ultimatum and that’s what made me decide to leave Harry. But yeah, then that happened and I just
felt like it was a sign to stay.” She shrugged.
“So
what happened with that?” You asked carefully.
“Nothing. I mean, I was just late. Probably stress from the wedding and the decision I was making with Harry
and I think I had started on birth control a few weeks prior, so yeah, it was just a late. But I still took that as a sign, you know and I stayed with Harry. I didn’t talk to Joey all this time until last year. I decided that maybe being friends on social media would be alright after all those years. Like we were such good friends and I did miss that. But obviously, that was a slippery slope and here we are
 and I mean, I’ve loved him all this time. But I’ve also loved Harry enough to stay. But then when Joey and I started talking again that love for Harry was gone.” She said sadly. She brought her hands up to her face and groaned into them. “I’m such a horrible human being! I’m a piece of shit!” 
“You’re not, Jules. You did a horrible and shitty thing, but you’re not that.” You assured her. “If you don’t love Harry anymore then why don’t you just get divorced?” You asked.
“This is what I hate myself for most!” She cried. “I just know that
leaving Harry is not the best option for me. Joey is flighty and kind of a fuck boy! But he still cares about me. So then I think if I show him that I am that committed to him he won’t be so afraid of trying with me for real.” She explained and you wanted to laugh. That was maybe the most delusional thing you had ever heard in your life. You felt so bad for her.
“I know how fucking delusional that makes me sound! Trust me, I know! That’s why I haven’t left Harry. Because logic is completely out the window right now! And I mean, m-maybe with time I’ll fall for Harry again? I mean, I did once before
” she explained as the tears streamed down her face.
“I’m sorry.” You said lowly. 
“Don’t be
I did this to myself.” She sniffled. “And now I’m dragging one of the best persons in the world down with me.” She whimpered before she started to cry again. “I know I’m being selfish but I’m so scared!” She broke down again and you pouted. 
“I know how scary it is to be alone, but you’re going to punish Harry for it and I don’t need to tell you how unfair that is. You get both things and he gets nothing? I mean, you both deserve the chance to be with people that make you happy.” You reasoned.
“Yeah
I know.” She whimpered before letting out another sob.
She continued crying for several more minutes before she had calmed down. You were gently rubbing her back as she was turned away from you. You could sense her shame, is was so great that it was suffocating the both of you. 
“Look, I think you need to have a nice relaxing shower. Wash the day away, yeah? And I can make you a really great cocktail and then we can watch a Mean Girls.” You suggested and she rolled over and gave you a confused look.
“That’s not a Christmas movie!” She exclaimed. Your family also had a rule that during the Christmas season you could only watch Christmas movies with another member of the family.
“Not entirely but it does contain one the most iconic Christmas scenes in cinematic history and that alone makes it Christmas-y enough!” You defended and she smirked.
“Your right. Love that movie.” She hummed and you smiled.
“I know.” You responded.
“Well, it sounds like a plan.” She said with a smile.
“Alright.” You confirmed. 
“On your way out can you send Harry in? I should apologize.” She decided and you nodded and got up to go. 
Harry was sitting on one of the pool chairs when you emerged from the pool house and he instantly sat up and glanced around to see you approaching. He looked a little nervous and you offered a small smile to reassure him some.
“She told me the truth.” You said and his looked surprised, “I know. And ummm, she asked if you’d give her a few, she wants to apologize.” You said and his features softened.
“Yeah, of course.” He said and immediately sat up.
“Good luck in there.”
“Thank you.” He smiled as you went your separate ways. Despite how badly you wanted to eaves drop in hopes for some indication of how the supposed apology was going, when you got to your bedroom you decided to have a shower instead. 
By the time you were out and making the cocktails, Harry was also arriving at the kitchen from his bedroom, freshly showered.
“Can you add a bit more f’me? I’m gonna watch the film with you two.”
“Oh, sure!” You agreed easily. “So it’s good with you guys?”
“Yeah, we’re good.” He assured and you were pleased with that.
And truly, for the rest of the day everything was great. It honestly felt like the tension that you’d sensed this entire time had evaporated and you hoped that it would stay that way for the remainder of the trip.
Day Six: 
It had been a really fun day with your family. You’d decided to go to the outlets, and on the way back stopped at the casino where you’d actually won nearly $1,200, just your luck. And then had an excellent dinner with everyone before you got back to the house. Despite your busy and exciting day, you found yourself staring up at the ceiling. To be fair it was only around 10pm, but you’d had a very long day. And then, the sound of a few quiet knocks on the door made you smile.
“Yeah?” You spoke up and Harry peeked into the bedroom with a smile on his face as well.
“Can’t sleep?”
“No.” You mumbled. “Come in.” You said and he hurried in and closed the door quietly.“Wanna smoke a bit?” You asked and he nodded.
“Yes, please.” He hummed with zeal and you chuckled as you got out of bed. You tended to get hot in bed, so you always wore something more revealing on top and some long bottoms. It was currently cool in the room though and the thin, baby blue tank you were wearing was leaving nothing to the imagination, so it was no surprise that Harry did a double take before quickly looking down at his phone.
“I’m gonna grab a sweater, s’cold out. Can you grab the weed? There’s a little black bag from the dispensary in the bedside drawer.” You instructed and he nodded. You hurried into your closet and grabbed the first one you saw and grabbed your lighter from your purse as you hurried out. And soon you and Harry were positioning the chairs so that the edge of the roof didn’t obstruct the view of the starry sky. 
“Just pick what you want.” You said and he started looking through the bag and pulled out a more indica heavy blend. “Ooh, good choice. But we’ll definitely need snacks. And water.” You said and he grinned. 
You made a quick trip to the kitchen and grabbed some cereal and milk because you figured that it would satiate the munchies and also hydrate you to counteract the cottonmouth. And with that settled you were finally passing the joint back and forth and staring up at the sky. You had been talking about TV shows and things you’d read, music you were into at the moment, it was really nice and comfortable with him. And after a moment of silence Harry turned to you.
“I have to ask
” he said and you turned to look at him and nodded, “Ummm, the day when you
walked in on me?” He asked and you nodded nervously, “Did you see everything?” He asked and your groaned and looked away bashfully and he chuckled. “No point in lying about it
” he said and you turned back, face beet red as you faced him.
“I didn’t. I promise!” You insisted.
“Okay
” he hummed, still in slight disbelief. 
“It’s true!” You pressed once more.
“I’m just teasing you.” He grinned.
“Well stop, it’s making me feel bad all over again!” You chuckled and he chuckled along with you.
“Don’t feel bad. I understand the curiosity just gets you sometimes.” He said and you hummed and shrugged in agreement. 
“So
what’s next for you. I-if you guys end things?”
“I don’t know
I’ve been approached about a tenure track opening at the university and I’m trying to decide if it’s worth it.” He said and you nodded in agreement.
“I know I could go back home
work at my alma mater
be closer to my family
”
“But?”
“In a way, going back would feel like defeat. Like I just wasted all of this time.” He said and you felt sad for him as he confessed this.
“Well, you got offered a tenure track position! Clearly you haven’t been wasting your time.” You encouraged him and he smiled.
“That’s true
”
“But I mean, if you decide to go back then at least you’ll be closer to your family.” You said with a smile.
“Well, my family is kind of a mess so
things are better with us when we have some distance between us.” He explained.
“Oh, I didn’t know that. Sorry.” You said.
“It’s alright.” He assured you. “Let’s talk about you
 I know you’re a caring person but you’re just deflecting at this point.” he said and you smiled a bit and shrugged.
“It’s just
when I think about it I still get really sad.” You explained, with a sad smile on your face and his gaze softened.
“I saw the depression meds in the drawer. You know, you really shouldn’t smoke while you take them. You could get serotonin syndrome.” He said with concern.
“Oh, I haven’t started them. I was supposed to a few weeks ago And well, I had brought them to start on Sunday but I forgot.” You explained.
“Why haven’t you started them?”
“I don’t know
not any good enough reasons though.” You shrugged.
“Like?” He pressed and you sighed and just straightened out and looked at the beautifully starry sky. You hadn’t seen that many stars in a long time.
“My pride
” you chuckled dry and he sputtered out a laugh as he tried to keep quiet.
“Okay
in what way?”
“Just in the most obvious way
like this person affected me so much that it broke my mind and unbalanced by brain!” You whisper shouted and then sat up straight and brought the joint to your mouth and took a small hit before blowing out the smoke. “How could I let someone hold so much power over me?!” You chuckled in disbelief as your eyes welled up with tears and handed over the joint.
“This is not your fault. You loved and trusted, that’s not wrong.” He reassured you and you sighed. You watching him take a hit and then sighed.
“You’re right. But I still feel weak for it, you know? So ummm
yeah, not taking those meds yet and still surviving and finding joy every now and again, it makes me feel a little bit better.” You confessed.
“And you feel alright?”
“Yeah and getting better, too. Slowly but surely.”
“Okay. Promise you’ll take them when you start to plateau.” He requested as he handed back the dwindling joint.
“Promise.” You assured before taking the last hit and then smashing it against the ashtray to completely extinguish it. “Should we put something on and eat our cereal?”
“Yeah, lets do it.” You smiled.
Before you knew it, the both of you were reclining against the headboard with your cereal bowls and watching SNL highlights.
Day Seven:
Once again, you had woken up alone. You had gone on your walk and when you returned Harry and Julie were already in the kitchen.
“Great, you’re back! Guess what!?” Harry exclaimed.
“What?” You asked as you put your AirPods back into their case.
“Save Ferris has a show at Pappy and Harriet’s tonight!” 
“Oh, no way?!” You gasped in disbelief and your sister turned to you.
“You know who that is?” She asked and you nodded.
“I had a ska phase in high school.” You shrugged and she knocked her head back and laughed.
“Oh, right! God
 glad you got through that.” She said and you flipped her off as you started to head to your room to shower. “So what? Do you want to go?” Julie asked and you stopped and turned towards her and then glanced to Harry who was smiling expectantly.
“Ummm
yeah! I’d like that actually.” You confirmed.
“Perfect! We’ll get the tickets, don’t worry about it. Merry Christmas.” She said to you and you smiled, “And well, I’m just going to get drunk because I don’t know that the fuck that band is.” She added and you chuckled.
“Well I think you’re going to have fun. And this is like a huge dream come true for me because I never thought I’d ever get to see them!” You said excitedly and she chuckled, “Thank you! I love you.” You said pointedly and then hurried off to shower.
All day the anticipation for this show was building up and building up. By the time you were leaving the house Julie was already tipsy. You were driving since they had paid, it was the least you could do, and you were actually glad you had driven, it was a nice distraction from just wanting to talk to Harry about anything and everything while your sister just laughed at TikTok’s in the backseat. You were also kinda worried that she might make herself car sick, especially as you started going up the winding roads to Pioneer Town.
You guys had intentionally arrived early to take a walk through the historical little western town. You looked through a few shops and then made your way to the saloon next door to the venue and had some tacos while you guys drank and chatted until it was time to make the short walk back to the venue. You guys waited in the merch line for a bit before heading over to the outdoor stage area and finding a spot to stand. Despite this not being a genre that your sister enjoyed, she was having a pretty decent time. And you and Harry had enjoyed the opener and also Save Ferris. You guys were bopping along and singing the songs. Your sister had a few more drinks during the show and by the the time it was all over she was draped around you as you guys headed to your car. 
“Want me to drive?” Harry asked as he opened the back right door to help you get Julie inside.
“I’m alright.” You assured him. Your sister groaned as she dropped down onto the seat. “Jules, seatbelt on please.” You said and she hummed.
“M’going, m’going
” she slurred. Once she was all strapped in you and Harry got settled in and you were making the drive back. It had only been a few minutes before you heard your sister slightly snoring from the back.
“Did she pass out?” You asked Harry and he glanced back and smiled.
“Yeah, she’s out.” He confirmed and you chuckled.
“Thanks for mentioning this show. It was super fun.” You smiled at Harry quickly before turning back to the road.
“I’m glad you had fun. You deserve it!” Harry explained with a smile, “Also, are you generally this great to go to shows with?” He asked and you giggled.
“I don’t know
I guess?”
“It’s just so nice to be present isn't it?” He asked and you nodded.
“Definitely. I get what you mean.” You agreed, “But specially here. It’s such an intimate venue. We couldn’t haven’t seen Save Ferris in a better place.” You gushed and he nodded with a wide smile. 
The rest of the way you guys were exchanging brief but charged glances. Even if you were just talking about the show and music, the air between you two was once again tense and you finally got a break from it when you arrived. You were giggling as you tried to get Julie inside as quietly as possible on your own since Harry had to pee. While you struggled with the task at hand, you had eventually made it to the pool house. She trudged in and just dropped herself on the bed and you chuckled before letting her be. When you returned to the main house Harry was in the kitchen, grabbing himself a glass of water.
“Want one?” He asked and you nodded.
“Please.” You confirmed and he handed the glass over to you before grabbing another for himself. You quickly drank it down and washed it before setting it back on the drying rack and then asking for his glass and washing his as well.
“Thanks.”
“Of course.” You hummed.
Moments later you were both walking down the dark hallway to get to your bedrooms. When you reached his door you stopped and he turned towards you.
“I also wanted to say that you look very pretty tonight.” He said softly and you smiled.
“Well thank you.” You responded bashfully.
“Of course.” He smiled nervously. You both looked at each other for a moment, the tension from before was rising between you again.
“Ummm, well
I should get to bed. Thank you again for finding this. I really did have the best time. I needed it.” You stated with a genuine smile as your gaze met his own. It lingered for a few more seconds before you felt all bashful again and you blinked away quickly. “Anyway, good night!” You chirped softly before he bid you a good night and you hurried into your room. 
You got changed and got ready for bed, but before you could get into it you felt a funny tug in your tummy. Yes, you had spent a whole afternoon basically with Harry, but having him in your room at night, it helped you sleep, through the whole night. Which as you’d mentioned to him before, was a current struggle of yours. And more than that, you liked the warmth of him beside you. You loved how deep and raspy his voice got as you spoke late into the night. You liked that one of your pillows smelled like him from how much of a habit it had become to have him come see you and you were working up the guts to go ask him. You hurried to your bedroom door and swung it open only to see Harry already a few steps away from your door. 
“Hi.” He smiled as he came closer.
“Hi.” You smiled up at him as he stood before you. “Wanna come in?” 
“Yeah.” He smiled and stepped inside. 
Before long you were propped up on the pillowed side by side, TV on some old reruns. You were barely paying attention because you were using all of your will power to try and not turn to face him. If you did, surely you’d lose all self-control and do something stupid like lean over to kiss him. Already, the warmth coming off of him was enough to make you want to close the small gap between the two of you. But then, from your peripherals you saw him steal a glance quickly. Your heart started to race, you were buzzing from head to toe as you debated whether to glance over as well. Your heart won that battle as you turned towards him and he smiled slightly.
“What?” You asked and he shrugged.
“Nothing just
we get along too well.” He shrugged and you smiled.
“Too well?” You asked and he hummed. “Maybe our personal situations are influencing a lot of the
vibes, you know?” You asked.
“Why do you say that?” He asked.
“Because, we’ve both been a bit neglected and disappointed by the people we loved. Like
for lack of better terms I think we’re both a little
thirsty.” You said as you giggled and he smiled.
“That’s true.” He smiled.
“And well, then with like the underlying sadness, sometimes you just aren’t thinking all that clearly about things that you’d normally just
 push aside.”
“Like what?” He pressed and you sighed.
“Like why we suddenly have the hots for each other!” You whisper shouted and he chuckled. “Like I’m suddenly very aware of you.” You explained.
“I think that was from seeing me half naked.” He said and you groaned in embarrassment as you let yourself fall onto your pillows. “Hey, hey
” Harry giggled as he turned onto his side to face you, “I’m teasing you.” He assured as he glanced down at you.
“I know, but still not my finest moment.” You reminded him with a playful roll of your eyes. But then he reached for your face and tucked your hair behind your ear. 
“I almost kissed you the other day, which
is equally as bad so I’d say we’re both on thin ice. And well, it’s not like I don’t want to now or something
Like I know that no one would find out about it-”
“What If they do somehow?” You asked nervously.
“They won’t. But if they did, it’s not like I was gonna be around you guys for much longer any way, with the divorce an all
” he said with a small shrug.
“So you’re going to get divorced?” You asked and he nodded.
“Yeah. Gonna get it going when we get back home.” He said and you nodded. 
Your eye contact with him didn’t waiver for another few seconds and before you knew it, you were both leaning in slowly. He exhaled shakily before you finishing closing the gap between your lips. It was just a small and quick touch of your lips together before you both pulled away. Your noses were nearly touching as you just hovered near each other for a few seconds. But from one second to the next, his will power snapped and he was kissing you again gently. Over and over, in quick little pecks, lips smearing together for seconds at a time, both too scared to kiss with a bit more fervor as to not find out just how far it could go. But like he said, no would find out

“Fuck it then.” You whispered as you reached around his neck and he pulled you in closer by the waist. Your kiss deepened quickly, you moaned at the taste of his mouth, feeling his tongue smooth over your lips and for his teeth to nibble at your bottom lip
 you were reeling. Falling blissfully into a state of non-worry as you sunk into the delicious mattress and were blankets by Harry’s warmth and weight over you. His constant squeeze at your hip was telling you that his body was screaming to do more with his hands, but he was trying not to do too much. You pulled away from the kiss quickly, smiling as he chanted after your lips, “Just wanna tell you that you can
” you trailed off as he smooched over your lips quickly, “Y-you can touch me more.” 
As soon as you gave him the green light he slid his warm hand down the side of your thigh and to the underside where he hoisted it up around his own hip. Then he smoothed his hand back up your thigh, then up your waist, but from under your shirt. And slowly, he covered more skin until he was sliding his big, warm palm over your breast. You moaned as he gave it a gentle squeeze. The curiosity with which he was feeling you out was reminiscent of a very early sexual experience you had with some guy at a birthday party in the 8th grade, with all that seven minutes in heaven shit. 
“So you’re a boobs guy
” you giggled as he swiped his thumb over your hardening nipple.
“Definitely a boobs guy.” He mumbled into your lips before kissing you a few more times. “Can I take your shirt off?” He asked and you bit your lip as you weighed out your options. But who were you kidding, the thought of having those same lips all over your breasts had you slicking up your underwear even more than they already were. 
“Yeah.” You consented verbally and you sat up as he helped pull your body free from the shirt and then dropped it on an empty part of the bed. 
Harry’s warm, smooth lips started to kiss down your jaw, nibbling a few times on his way down to the column of your neck. You held in your giggles as his stubble tickling your sensitive skin. He had both of his hands on your breasts now as he sat over you, he was teasing your nipples, being so light and airy with his touches, it had you squirming. You knew he’d get there soon, but soon wasn’t happing as fast as you wanted.
“Please!” You whimpered and he glanced up at you and smirked.
“I’m going.” He assured you and he lowered himself until he was face level with your breasts.
He wasted no time in parting his lips and sucking your nipple between them. You whimpered and wove your fingers into his hair. He sucked harder and you gripped at his hair harder. His other hand kneaded over your other breast as you writhed beneath him. And as you wiggled around trying to part your legs to wrap around him, he pulled one out from under him and lowered his hips a bit as you ground up and that’s when you felt the bulge in his pants. He was so fucking hard.
“Fuck.” He sighed as he kissed back up your neck and finally back at your lips as he started to grind his cock against you. One of your hands slid up his arm, feeling at his bulging muscles. The other slid down to his backside, encouraging him to keep going. It wasn’t so much the feeling of the dry hump as it was the desperation that existed between you two. It would feel wrong to fuck so quickly, but you wanted to so badly that you were both willing to settle for this. It was a little bit sick and a lot pathetic, a true reflection of you two as you made out sloppily while rubbing fronts. 
You’d been struggling with your sex drive since the depression and you really hadn’t needed to be in tune with it, seeing as you had planned to steer clear of anything with another person for the foreseeable future. But now here you were, wetter than you’d been in months, feeling the fabric of your underwear clinging to the skin of your pussy. You needed more if you were going to come and you really, really wanted to come. 
“Harry
Harry
” you mumbled against his lips, “Take these off.” you panted as you tugged at the band of his pants and boxer briefs.
“Sure?” He asked and you nodded.
“It’ll be easier to come like that.” You said and he smiled. “What?”
“I just
hadn’t really thought about that, I was just kinda happy to be here.” He chuckled and you giggled.
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just got a little carried away, s’been a while.” You explained.
“For me too. I want to
I just want to make sure, you know?” 
“Well, thank you for making sure.” You whispered and he smiled down at you before kissing you again. You two struggled for a bit as he tried to get his pants off without stopping the kisses, but eventually you had to and you watched was he knelt up onto the bed. His cock was so fucking pretty, it made you salivate. He wasn’t shaved clean but he was definitely trimmed. You also wanted to get his balls in your mouth and make him squirm with pleasure. You also started to get your pants off and he helped you pull them off of your legs. Your underwear matched with the sleep tank you had on, a nice baby blue color, but they did nothing to hide how fucking wet you were. 
After tearing off his shirt, Harry had you legs spread, holding you down by the backs of the thighs as he slid his cock over your clothed crease. Back and forth, over and over, the head of his cock was colliding with your clit. His foreskin was starting to pull back to reveal his tip, meaning that despite how hard he already felt to you, he had more to go. You were trying to keep your sounds at a minimum, but you were starting to get close to the edge. The steady pace Harry was going at, plus the weight and warmth of his cock gliding over you and between your sticky pussy lips, you were started to fall apart.
“You’re gonna make me come so hard
” you moaned and he groaned and kissed you.
“Good, baby. Come for me.” He mumbled against your lips and you nodded. You were inhaling his exhales as you kissed sloppily. You could feel your legs starting to tense up and your walls starting to tighten inside of you as the pleasure started to become more concentrated in the pit of your core. It was so hot and tingly and lovely, it was starting to ache, you could feel your slick starting to pump out of your needy little hole. If Harry decided to try put it in you’d let him do it. Just processing that thought and how possible it was had your orgasm overcoming you. Your breath hitched and your whole body went stiff for a second before the pleasure just exploded. A gratifying moan slipped past your lips and Harry was quick to cover your mouth, chuckling lowly as you got lost in the pleasure of the orgasm. He watched your breasts bounce and jiggle beautifully as your body rolled gently with the waves of your orgasm. You were gripping the sheets so tight that your fingers slightly ached but if just felt so good. Even as he kept going, you welcomed the sensitivity. He puled his hand from your mouth and reached for one of your boobs again before glancing down at his cock all slicked up with your slick and cum.
“Fuck I’m gonna come!” Harry mumbled and you bit your lip in anticipation. Opposite of what you expected, he slowed his pace and then grabbed the crotch of your panties and pulling it to the side. He moaned as he saw your whole pussy and then laid his cock over it again a few times and then very intentionally, he pressed against your entrance, it was making your tremble. “Fuck
gonna let me come all over your pussy?” He asked as he looked up at you and you nodded, mouth agape, eyes nearly closed from the insurmountable waves of lust.
“Please, need it so bad.” You encouraged his orgasm. And moments later he was groaning lowly as you felt his thick, warm load start to spill all over your pussy. His slow ruts against you were making you melt and you propped your self up on your elbows to se the mess he was making against you. “Do you always cum that much? Fuck
” you chuckled as you glanced up at him and he just smirked at you as he came to a slow stop.
“Do you feel bad?” He asked and you shook your head.
“Not yet at least
” you added and he nodded.
“Okay, me either.” He assured you. “Just wanted to check before I kissed you again.”
“Oh, okay.” You whispered as he leaned in and kissed you slowly again.
Eventually you got cleaned up and back into bed with him. You knew that you would wake up alone, but still weren’t sure if you’d be happy about it or not.
Day Eight: 
When your eyes opened the following morning you felt fine. You weren’t afraid to face Harry, you weren’t regretful of what you’d done. However, you did find yourself wondering when you’d be able to get away with it again. What did concern you is how he would feel about it this morning. He was eager in the heat of the moment but what about now, after the post nut clarity? The more and more you gave it some thought the more you psyched yourself out and were avoiding joining everyone for breakfast. You were in your patio, smoking a joint to help you build up some appetite, but also to help you relax and be normal when you were in the same room with your aunt, parents, and brother in law who had just come loads over your bare pussy, and of course, your sister, his wife. Well, soon to be ex-wife, but still! It wasn’t official yet!
Finally you decided to bite the bullet and headed towards the kitchen. You greeted everyone good morning and then glanced to Harry who flashed you an easy smile. 
“You alright?” He asked. What sounded like the most casual question to everyone else was the most charged question between you and him. You smiled and nodded.
“Yeah. All good.” You reassured him and he smiled and nodded silently before continuing to eat his breakfast.
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warblogs17282 · 2 days ago
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Obviously we're all aware of this tweet by now, and tbh, considering that we've now seen Mastermind, the only possible 'significant arc' I can think of that they might be referring to has to be something along the lines of getting Stolitz on the same page as each other.
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Before any of you mention the divorce at all, it is definitely not that, Andrealphus literally says that Stolas is Stella's ex-husband at the start of the episode.
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To save time I'm just gonna skip over to Ghostfuckers and Mastermind, but to summarize things a little simply, do remember that even the start of season 2 had a focus on getting Stolitz on the same page as each other, by showing us the start of Stolas getting the Asmodean Crystal for Blitz, aka, getting rid of the grimoire arrangement that was preventing them from ever being able to be on same exact page as each other. With the grimoire arrangement coming to a true end on s2 e8.
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With that out of the way, let's discuss this scene.
I hate to break it to you if you're not already aware, but Stolas and Blitz did not hear each other during this part of the song at all, what we actually witnessed was a soliloquy.
Which is defined as by the Cambridge dictionary: 'a speech in a play that the character speaks to himself or herself or to the people watching rather than to the other characters'.
Which as a result, while it definitely moves Stolitz much closer to being on the same page as each other, they still aren't fully on the same page as each yet, Stolitz is not fully canon at this point in time, but will be very soon.
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Let's break down where this scene leaves us, for Blitz, we're definitely at the point where he has realized and accepted his own love for Stolas, with the best lines I can think of to showcase this point being "The bird got to you that bad, huh?" and "Only death can rend our love apart!".
Blitz has also recognized and accepted the fact that Stolas loves Blitz back as well, with the episode making this extremely clear. The most obvious point of the episode that shows this is the moment when Blitz makes the conclusion that Stolas is going to sacrifice himself in order to save him. Because well, what says 'This person truly loves me' to someone more than 'This person is literally about to sacrifice himself in order to save me.', especially with the heart pupils as well, which overall, puts Blitz into a position where he thinks it's possible to have a relationship with Stolas, and wants one with him as well.
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As for Stolas, it's made extremely clear that he recognizes and accepts his own love for Blitz, as the entire soliloquy section of the song shows.
But the key difference between them is the fact that I'm pretty sure that Stolas hasn't realized Blitz's own love towards Stolas at this point in time, which in all honesty, makes this scene pictured below hurt even more.
What I'm trying to say here is that Stolitz is still not on the exact same page as each other yet in regards to their relationship with each other, they're close, but not quite there yet.
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Which is where Sinsmas comes into play. You all have seen this scene a million times by now in posts, but I really do feel like this is going to be the scene where Stolas starts to realize Blitz's own love for Stolas.
Because well, what says 'This person truly loves me' to someone more than 'This person is actively putting themselves into mortal danger by fighting against a royal demon in order to protect and save me.' (I could've sworn I used a very similar phrase earlier in this post, surely you can figure out why?)
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And I'm pretty confident in saying that this scene definitely is not a dream, as I'll let @lost-romantique's post explain for me.
Basically, we're at the last page of the book, the last section of the arc I mentioned at the start, we're so close to Stolitz actually being on the same page of each other in regards to their relationship, we're so close to witnessing the whole miscommunication trope thing between them end, we're so close before we get to see the renewed and bettered start of Stolitz again.
Because let's be real, for all of the reasons I have mentioned here, there's absolutely nothing else I can think of that's being going on for the whole season that would count as a 'significant arc' over than the one I mentioned at the start of this post.
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gingerale14 · 3 days ago
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2, 9, 10, 11, 13, 15, 16, skipping 17 because you probably have an uncountable list of answers to that one, 18, 21, 25, 28, 29, 33, 35, 37, 40, 41 (because you’re probably definitely playing some CD and I’d like to know which), 42, 43, 44, 46, 47, 48 (most important question here), 49 (maybe too serious compared to the rest but whatever. You don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to), and sure why not throw 50 in as well
alright this is gonna take a while
2. I've asked myself this question a lot. I think I'd like to live in a city, but not directly inside it, but not in the suburbs. That doesn't leave me many options, I know. I think it's more dependent on what stage of my life I'm in. I think I'd like to be in larger city for the earlier part of my life, but towards the end especially past 40, I'd like to move out somewhere less urban, and probably out west somewhere. My dream is to retire in Santa Fe, so that's probably where I'll end up. Though semi-rural Northeast isn't bad either, I love Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
9. Kinda hard, I don't really have one that comes to mind. I have a really nice pair of Aeropostale jeans that are super worn in and soft, they're a classic. My dad's old hiking pants that I've taken, we've searched for years for pants that as good as those and have never found any, it's a discontinued model too. My highschool letterman jacket is my favorite thing to wear around the house in the winter. My red crocs are a classic. Maybe certain pajama shirts. Merino wool hiking socks (the SmartWool ones).
10. I fucking love my name. It's extremely well balanced. It's exotic to white people, but it's common enough back in India that I can run into it in the wild, which is always fun. One vowel in my name is an "e" instead of the conventional "a", which means my name is completely unique. I've seen my name in many many places but never with my spelling. I think I have a baller set of initials. If I had a middle name it would ruin it, so glad I don't. 7 letters in the first name, 5 in the last, 13 overall. Delicious. Last name starts with A so I'm comfortably in the front of most lists. I'm super super proud of my name and I would never change it. Maybe if I get married I'd conjoin my last name to hers with a hyphen, but even then mine would have to come first because I refuse to lose my beginning of the alphabet privileges. Honestly, I wouldn't even want her to change her name.
11. I've had various mentors over the years. My mom and dad obviously. My older cousin for more juvenile stuff. My uncle (her dad) was a huge mentor for me when I was in middle and highschool, especially in academic stuff. One cheating scandal and messy divorce later, I'm not too keen on taking other advice from him. But probably my strongest mentor/role model is my highschool history teacher, Mr. Reynolds. I love that man and I aspire to be like him. Strongest moral backbone I've ever seen, understand people and children like no other, his impact on my life cannot be understated.
13. I actually sleep pretty well once I fall asleep. There was a point about a month ago where I kept waking up in the night, especially at like 5:00 am, but I sleep deprived myself to the point where I started sleeping like a log again lol.
14. You didn't ask but I like this question. Yes. Till the day I day, till the clocks stop ticking, till the sun explodes. I love love.
15. From the four classical elements, I think I'm earth, though I'd love to be air or water. From the periodic table I'm not as sure. Maybe I'm tin or bromine.
17. my list isn't huge, it's just too personal. but short answer is yes. not as many people as you'd think, maybe only like 2 or 3. even the ones i miss i don't miss super intensely. the feeling of "missing people" isn't one that I feel like I've felt super intensely in my life.
18. I remember one of my first-ever sleepover's it was in 1st grade at my friend Juan Manuel's house. I was laying down in his bed in the dark and we were both kinda scared for some reason, and all of a sudden he screams "GHOST!" and I jump out of bed, run to the door, open it, and just stand there panting as his parents come running lol.
21. I don't know what one thing I'm most thankful for. There are a lot of things and I can't really recall them on command. For now, let's just say I'm thankful for the spirit of perseverance, for my inherent sense of curiosity, and for all the wonderful people in my life who have given me so many opportunities to succeed, and the drive in me that keeps me sojourning forward .
25. I don't have a prefernece for one or the other really. I like how consistent pencil writing is, but it obviously needs a quality eraser. Pens are wildly inconsistent, but a solid pen is a real pleasure to write with. I mostly use pen nowadays though.
28. I'm extremely unconcerned with my legacy. I want the people who are in my life while I'm living to enjoy my presence and care about me. I want to live a life that makes me happy and content. I want to maybe leave behind some physical, tangible thing that will last long after my death. It can be as trivial as a park bench. But that's enough. I really don't care about what happens after death or about any post-death legacy. I'll be dead! I'll have bigger things to do lmao.
29. Actually I hate reading I think all books are evil and should be burned muahahahah. I haven't read much recently, I need to pick something up for the break, I haven't read in ages. Or seen a movie. My life has been shit recently.
33. I got lots, so here's one. Old Spice Bearglove and the smell of mildew immediately remind me of the happiest time of my life, CTY summer camp in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I can't use Bearglove for anything now because I don't want to ruin my memory association with it.
35. If money was not a factor? Oh brother. I'd do everything. Everything. I'd visit everything, experience everything, buy everything, eat everything, see everything, do everything. I feel like it doesn't get communicated across in my personality a lot but the breadth of my interests is massive. I can find something that fascinates me in every field, every industry, every niche, every thing in the world. The scope I'm imagining right now is so massive I don't even know how to put it into words. I'd simply try to experience every possible thing there is to experience, no matter how exotic or mundane. And after a couple years of doing that I'd spend a couple years just hiking and camping. Then I'd buy a nice little place in Santa Fe, a nice little place in New England, and I'd switch between the two as the seasons change. I'd spend the rest of my days reading, watching movies, eating good food, drinking beer, and curling up on a couch with my wife. Oh yeah the time I spend doing everything will probably be doubled because we'll have to satisfy all of my wife's interests, curiosities too. Cause I love her hehe
37. Put it in my wallet and forget about it. That's the realistic answer. Maybe use it for something off of craigslist lol
40. I actually do want tattoos. One of the one's I really want is a skeleton of an Allosaurus in a death pose, I'd get it on my right shoulder but big, like almost big enough to be a sleeve. I also want a tattoo of my favorite little guy that I like to doodle whenever I'm doing a test or writing something. I'd want him on the crook of my forearm so I could see him when I'm writing something on paper.
41. Mmm i don't know when you asked this, but I was probably either listening to Sade's Greatest Hits, Can't Buy a Thrill by Steely Dan, or Kenny G's Greatest Hits. But I'm home now, so all I can hear is my clock ticking on my desk, the exhaust running in the kitchen, and the voices of the guests in the dining room.
42. I don't really know where I feel safest? I don't think that's a feeling I track very often lmao. Maybe my favorite family farm in India, or my hazy yet golden memories of my cousin's old house in Toronto.
43. I don't have an answer for this question that isn't too depressing.
44. The 90s, dude. Chill ass time period, I would love to have lived in a time where there was genuine optimism and happiness for the future and people felt good about their lives. Any further back than that and we run into the racism problem.
46. Not summer, fuck summer. Not spring, not much there. Fall is nice, but not in Texas. Gotta be Winter. Cold, austere, beautiful, but everything indoors becomes 200% cozier. Texas becomes bearable at points in the winter.
47. Hard to say for sure. No electronics at all. Wake up at a good time, make my own breakfast, go for a long walk, eat lunch out somewhere, visit something in the city—a store or a museum or something—come home and shower, curl up with a good book in front of a fire, make and eat a nice dinner, watch a movie, go to bed.
48. There
48.5: Describe myself using one quote. This was assigned to me by a teacher I really loved and respected in high school.
"I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman
49. I regret a lot of things. The things I did on my 18th birthday is definitely up there. The other thing I did that summer is also on that list. Not gonna expound on those. Also the general state of my life, and my mental health and my procrastination and all the side effects it's had. So 18th birthday, other thing, and every mistake of the past 4.5 years. That's the list.
50. I suck at inventing words. The only word I've ever invented is "pulpate." It describes the way a really fat caterpillar moves. It pulpates forward. I fucking hate caterpillars.
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angelpuns · 25 days ago
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Everything is very horrible today in an autistic meltdown kinda way so either I'll pop off and draw a lot or lay face down in bed doing nothing for several hours we'll just have to see
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elf-simp · 8 months ago
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Further experimentation... A lot more errors with the face than with the body that's for sure but progress nonetheless
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seventh-district · 26 days ago
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... đŸ„Č#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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3416 · 3 months ago
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I really love equally 16-34-88.
It’s interesting the interchanging of the attitude of the fans and media towards William and Mitch.
For years, William was criticized over and over again. His relaxed and laid back attitude. His game. And his contract year back in 2018, he was in those trenches. And anyone who said anything positive about him was called crazy. And also, Don Cherry and his low key like discriminatory remarks due to the fact that he was Swedish and not the tough goon kind of playing style. He was also kind of the « guinea pig » (always changing line mates, and lines—and last year we saw that too, he’s always moving and they always throw new stuff) and he was , out of the core, the punching bag.
Now, Mitchy has always been criticized because of the toxic hyper masculine mindset of many hockey fans: he’s boyish and not buff and tough and all that jazz. But, he never got the hate and disrespect that he is getting at the end of last season and right now. He was however still well liked and respected and was often associated to Auston and scene in a more favorable light. He was second to Auston in the « it » boy factor. If this NHL documentary was made 2-3 years ago, Mitch would have been considered.
If you would have told that the Toronto fans and media would be all over William two seasons ago, I would have laughed. Like never would I have thought that I would see the day where people would actually give him credit and actually respect him and see the great things he adds. I love seeing that , but at what cost? For Mitch to become the punching bag of the team?
Fans are now saying how amazing Willy is and now figuring out that he is a good player and cool. But those same fans, a couple years ago were dragging him through the mud saying how useless he was and how he needed to get traded. And they liked Mitch. And they respected him. But now, you’ve « always hated Mitch Marner », « He should be traded ».
And I fear that it will always be this: once Mitch will be in the public’s good graces, something with William will happen and back to Mitch. It’s always been like this and will always stay this way. I don’t know why, I guess that’s the dynamic the city chose.
Even when it came to the core’s contracts: Willy and Mitchy always get this EXTRA je ne sais quoi. Like this extra negative energy and they can never satisfy anyone. They are greedy weaklings or whatever.
Also, I was thinking about Auston captaincy and it reminded me about how he was heavily considered in 2019 but the whole allegations and the story about him harassing this woman when he was drunk ruined that chance. And, people did criticize him and he got scrutinized. But, it kind of, I think, it fizzled away pretty quickly within the Toronto scene considering how heavy that story was. It doesn’t haunt him.
Now, if it was Mitch or William, people would bring it up and it would tarnish them way more. They could not escape it.
Sorry for the long ass rant, it’s just so funny and frustrating: if one gains recognition, the other one has to go down.
gonna start out by saying i don't think mitch/auston/other ppl weren't asked about the doc. i think they're way more private esp in a time that was gearing up for the playoffs, lol. and i think anyone with a brain right now knows mitch is still the second best player on the leafs. everyone just gets high off point totals alone from the prior seasons.. like i seriously saw ppl claiming matthew tkachuk would be drafted higher than auston after the 22-23 season, lolll.
i agree there's a divide about them in the coverage and i have a lot of thoughts of my own about this too. i'm not a longterm leafs fan beyond the past couple of years so i can't speak to how willy or mitch were treated before 2022 beyond old headlines/stuff i've seen but not lived through, but i've definitely been here for the shift about mitch lately and well...
i think some of it is by virtue of them playing the same position. everyone 'has an issue' with the core 4 (ive never understood who the fuck the core 4 even refers to.. sometimes its about the forwards, sometimes its about the leadership group flkdjsklf... whatever fits the current narrative ig) being all forwards and taking up the cap bc that's not 'proven', but it's such a bullshit excuse. i think if you look at their contract situations of the past, willy did a lot of things mitch is getting shit for now, lol. he did hold out into the season for money while mitch gets lambasted for using that as a negotiation tactic (which again.. i wasnt around for those negotiations and i get it was ugly to ... leak or use public perception or whatever but) on those first contracts. willy's father was also involved in his holding out in the most recent negotiations but that's not smth i see thrown around at him despite every comment under every post about mitch including paul's name without him so much as uttering the word contract, lol. it's frustrating to me to see the double standards at this point. i understand longtime fans have lived through shit about willy, but i have a hard time imagining the vitriol levels of right now being topped. it's just every single day about every single thing compounded by the fact that leafs fans have even less hope than they used to bc of how many years in a row they've lost.
i admittedly don't love them equally at all, and if anything, the fanfare about willy the past year has made me like him less. it's not really his fault but i do think he's slightly overpaid now (and watching ppl now claim mitch has to take willys deal or less is hilarious) and overhyped for what he actually brings. his playoff stats are being overrated too. since it all comes at a cost to mitch in the media, it's been way worse to watch for me and unavoidable that i come away feeling negative about him, lol.
i'd be interested to see if the tides ever do turn back toward willy now that he's bulked up, grown facial hair, proven he can score with an up-to-this-point useless clutchness. i doubt they will, but i have a hard time envisioning what's gonna happen after mitch signs an extension and who will become the scapegoat w players locked up for more years. the constant hate has to get exhausting at some point, right? like jflkjdsklf... but not with leaf fans so who knows what will happen. i can't really say what would have happened if mitch or willy were ever involved in scandal like that, but i think if it happened right now, ppl would be ready to forgive willy for anything and sentence mitch to death over nothing so. some people were blaming him for his own carjacking when it happened like.. lol. i can't see into the future but all i know is i'm VERY fed up with the way coverage and reaction is right now. and i don't even think the media is an accurate depiction of how a lot of fans feel about any of it, but if it's hammered home enough... idk.
#easks#sorry this isnt a hate post but a more.. fed up post klfdj#its funny to read all the things ppl think abt mitch when like they actually apply to willy in some ways#but for some reason we're pivoting back to aloof n chill being the cool thing to be fkld#and caring being overrated.. even tho the leafs tagline is passion? but not like that !#still think mitchs game is vastly more mature versatile and consistent#saw someone call willy a 2 way superstar to start the summer and im like. oh so we are just saying anything now lol#i think ppl are bad at evaluating beyond just points lol#saying last yr was consistent for him when he put up 4 points in the last month of play is simply a lie. he was inconsistent but productive#more than hes ever been. and yet still didnt play great defensively#acting like he for some reason has a higher ceiling now bc he ? has still never had a season as good as mitch despite being a year older is#so incredibly funny to me#i get that this is all very reactionary to the leafs mediascape rn but i cant help it bro#its absurd imo when mitch ended up w a higher ppg than willy by the end of the season#sorry again. no hate to him just like. the overcorrection n overhype is absurd#the constant comparison is absurd too i agree but its baked into the toronto experience apparently#also part of the reason i love that theyre trying him at center lol. like fjklds gonna make him worth the 11.5#and also maybe cease the winger comparisons . n get him to buy into paying more attention defensively#anhway... JIFNKDMLS good night.
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mad-hunts · 4 months ago
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i like how barton went from being like... a hippie in terms of how he viewed sex in his early twenties, then kind of abstained from it for a few years / became sexually repressed, which... definitely isn't such a good thing. BUT then he became even more of a freak (and i do mean that in the good way this time LOL) around the time he started residency because WOW is that shit stressful. though that was also unfortunately around the time when he really started to spiral as well 😬 but we don't need to talk about that ahahhh
like the way this man learned how to express his sexuality REALLY came full circle in the end considering he was like 'yeah, back in the early days that i was in college, i was a freak. but now i'm not anymore... though do you want to see me do it again anyway?' like 💀 JSJSJ if he weren't so demented, i'd almost be inclined to say good for him, y'all LMAO feeling comfortable with your sexuality and perhaps even having a bit of fun with it (though maybe too much in barton's case, because he literally weaponizes it in order to lure in his victims. BUT once again, we don't need to talk about that right now psshhh. i actually fully intend on talking about that in the tags NGL) is more often than not a good thing after all
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#nah but although i haven't really mentioned this before... when i first developed barton he had ALWAYS been kind of sexually repressed-#because he was sort of brought up by wesley to believe that it was one of those 'taboo' topics to the point where he had to get the talk-#from winslow and i'm not gonna lie i kind of find that WILD now LMAO because i mean like i said here a big part of how barton lures-#people in to eventually become his victims is through flirting with them and going on dates with them.#so like whenever i think about it now it didn't really make sense for barton to view sex as this 'hush-hush' topic bc he quite literally-#uses his sexuality to his advantage as i said here / weaponizes it. though expressing your sexuality isn't bad in and of itself OFC#the way in which he goes about doing it personally is just. Wellll not so good for lack of better words JSJSJ because barton is-#a serial killer whom has actually been sensationalized in the news (bc y'all know how terrible the news is when it comes to this stuff)-#into being called the 'heartbreak killer' because barton manipulates people and basically says exactly what they want to hear as well-#as makes himself as physically attractive as possible to voluntarily get his victims to come with him which is. yeahhh YIKES#but i can imagine that as soon as the news found out for the first time that his victim had last been reported to be going on a date-#with someone that they latched onto that and made it into a story that lacks the seriousness that something like that should-#always be treated with TBH because although they are just characters whenever it comes to the scope of their world they aren't and-#are living people so??? it's TOTALLY wack to be exploiting people like that to get views especially in a place like gotham where-#there's already enough craziness as it is without giving a serial killer a name that basically equates the murders to 'heartbreaks'-#which are definitely not on the same level at ALL but anyhow. i'm rambling now SKSKS#this isn't to say that barton always uses his sexuality to fulfill bad objectives bc like i said it isn't bad in and of itself -#though the fact that he does says something about him as a person since it's a rather sensitive thing for a lot of people you know?#and making people feel like they're wanted? when in actuality you just?? want to kill them??? it is severely messed up so yeahhh#tw: manipulation#tw: sex mention#tw: barton just being an asshole tbh
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gifti3 · 8 months ago
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Im in such an obey me mood today haha
other than "pls dont tell asmo about that",,,, i have questions about these freaking vegetables (im putting under the cut since im talking about food and bad eating habits/diet related stuff)
im assuming they would have to be mixed with other regular ingredients to prevent the hunger but it sounds like ppl would use them as the main component in a dish or just eat them by themselves
So does all of it get digested? No leftovers (waste) comes out the other end im guessing? is it like a magic type thing?? it has to be right? Cause if not...ur body will take the calories needed to replace the ones burnt, take the nutrients, and the rest will just get tossed out
And since it doesnt make you full, like wouldnt it be way too easy to overeat this type of thing? so you could accidentally end up making urself go to the restroom more often :/
Ig if it gives u the nutrients u need that itll be useful then. So maybe its a 'heres ur macros for the day' type dealo? but u still have to go eat an actual meal or make sure u mix it with other stuff tho
#ik its just a silly joke type text but i do like to take these things and overthink them and apply them to real life#its just interesting to me cause ik the answers will never come so its like a brain exercise or something#eating disorder tw#just to be safe#but yea..................#im gonna just go off in the tags cause im just wondering about when this would be useful cause regular veggies are the better choice to me#ig that could be useful in a very specific circumstance where you went over calories but still need certain macros..but like...its veggies#going over for some for veggies isnt that big a deal imo but if ur mostly concerned with deficit then ud cut anywhere u can...#u could also like use it to lessen the calories in the dish overall and maybe add more of the ingredients u actually like#tho i feel like it would not remove that many calories in the first place#and ud probably wouldnt even get to add that much more of what u actually want in comparison#and then...ur gonna be hungry cause u took away a big volume of the food which was the regular vegetables#but for me when im making food the last thing im worried about in my dish is the freaking vegetables#im trying to add more veggies and less of everything else ._.#i feel like this would make more sense if it was like a sugary treat#especially if this is supposed to be a thing that helps with cravings#u get to eat and enjoy the thing without consequence (for the most part) while eating a more restrictive diet#tho it would probably be even more dangerous than the veggies when it comes to overeating...#idk how the demon biology works but it seems about the same to humans but just more durable#and with asmos eating habits...i can already see in my minds eye whats gonna go down#it just seems like a bad idea all around to tell him about this!#obey me nightbringer
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fappellmoan · 1 year ago
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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there
#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru#but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days#and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing#i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail#i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time#not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me#im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me#anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early#i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great#and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most#expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth#but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans#but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated#about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like#u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends#w yall. things happen#abby talks#and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw#a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes#OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it#was years ago but also like christ!
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thebigqueer · 4 months ago
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2 years ago i fucked up a friendship w a girl (that im pretty sure i was in love with). to this day i think of her and sometimes when i see her on the street i just wanna cry. i understand your plight very much.
yeahhh man im sorry to hear that!!! it genuinely fucking sucks and i would never wish this upon anyone. cuz like it makes you fully think about all the what ifs and i genuilnely dont think ill ever find someone like her again
#im not trying to sound dramatic im being so serious she was so fucking perfect for me#i geuss the difference is shes the one who broke up w me and i know i didnt do anything wrong#neither of us did#its just like fuck!!! you know?? like we could have been so much#serious relationships dont need to be longterm to be serious you know???#one of these days im going to get tipsy and then 'drunk' text her even though i fiully intend to text her#and then claim i was just drunk because im notl ying im just not telling the full truth#like i fully considered it last night but i knew it would be a bad idea and i know if i do it its just gonna fuck things up more#but im soooo tempted man#like i dont know what itll even do#i know inside my goal is to maybe convince her that its not our time to end but i know in reality#its just gonna make her feel guilty and push her away even more if i show her how much ic are abou ther#i just seriously wish i understood why she even did it#i also thought being back on campus would help and i mean it has for sure becuase ive had my friends to distract me#but the thing is im not enjoying anything. like im not being distracted im just being numbed ykwim#cuz the moment i leave my friends all i do is think about her#and even when im WITH my friends ill be in the moment w them and then 2 minutes later ill start zoning out thinking about her#like the worst part about this is i dont have any anger *against* her#maybe im angry about like the general situation but the anger isnt against her#and while being angry is its own kind of pain in a way it can be easier cuz at least then youre tempted to have a good time and show off#but when its like this where youre just sad at the situation like what am i actually gonna do except think about her#sorry anon im not trying to dump on you i just start ranting in the tags sometimes#sunny rambles#anon tag#asks
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onyourstageleft · 11 months ago
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smoked a blunt last night and spent a half hour writing out this 'poll' in a note on my phone
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waitingforminjae · 1 year ago
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"yoon jeonghan always acts the way i think." - s.coups, bad clue #1
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ikyw-t · 1 year ago
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I do relate to olivia rodrigo in some ways for example I did have nightmares each week (every day for months) after that phone call in may (march). I fantasize (once every other blue moon) about a time where you're a little fucking sorry. except I do not hold my undying love (there is not even an iota of love, if there ever was) like a grudge and also I will never ever forgive bc you were indeed filled with vitriol. and unfortunately I also cannot let it go. it was six months (three years) of torture. I did NOT love you truly and I cannot laugh at the stupidity. I may have made some real big mistakes but you do indeed make the worst one look fine. like..............
#sorry i know this is cringe and something i should just journal about#ive just had a very shitty day and also kinda week#ive just been tired and lethargic for no clear reason for the past five days and it's very frustrating#bc i have homework due tomorrow that ive barely made any progress on#and i kinda rly need an A in this class to maintain my gpa. so if one bad week means i tank this assignment and get a B in this class#oh dread. unspeakable unsurmountable dread#also i went on a walk in the park w my mom which i haven't done in a bit and i just was unable to stop thinking#about my high school demon of a boyfriend who lives nearby. altho he literally never goes outside i sometimes get rly freaked out#and panicky that i might see him and have to deal with him again. like he did call (AND TEXT?!?đŸ€ą) me last march#and i was having nightmares for months after and feeling so paranoid that he might randomly show up at my house one day#bc that's the kind of shit he used to do regularly when we were dating to keep me from breaking up w him#and like ughhhhhhhhhh it just makes me so upset bc he literally would have the audacity.#it's just upsetting. i am soooo nonviolent as a person but when i think of him i suddenly feel not very nonviolent#again my apologies i know this should be journaled about instead. sorry u had to see all this#feel free not to read these tags like this is just for me. apologies.#while im here some other songs that make me think of him include would've could've should've. atw10 but only the terrible parts#uhh better by myself by hey violet is incredibly on the nose#also it's actually just a rly great song. also get out of my life by little hurt. okay im done now.#gonna go find something funny and cute to watch. maybe little witch academia.#sorry if u read all this đŸ˜”â€đŸ’«
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floral-hex · 1 year ago
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I just get so tired of waking up every day and having to claw my way up to some emotional baseline
#but really what choice do I have#just not wake up? not the healthiest option#probably need to up my meds#I just feel so defeated living each day like this#bleggghhh#so I take a small handful of pills and vitamins and drink my little coffee and chug water and try try try to distract myself#wining. whinging and wining and bitching and moaning.#what would my therapist suggest? try focusing on what’s real and logical and rational. not feelings and emotions?#but I just can’t always be logical with fucking chemicals in my brain#I can’t outthink chemicals or the days when my hearing gets real bad or even when I just don’t feel too fucking good my dude#try to focus on the good parts of tinnitus and bug hurty tummy ya butthole#okay he’s not a butthole he’s actually very very nice and has been very patient with me#but just let me be negative about this for a minute jeez#I’m so fucking grumpy these last few days#trying to
 ugh I guess eat my feelings? I hate that phrase and I’m not over eating#but I have been I guess STRATEGICALLY EATING things I hope would temporarily boost my mood. sugary stuff. caffeine. junk.#god I wish I just had drugs for this. for when it gets too hard.#this sounds so pathetic. oooo nooo I just want to get high because im soooo sad 😭#I have three (3) klonopin left I save for bad days or anxiety or whatever and I doubt my doc is gonna give me more#I’ve been taking buspar for the past couple of weeks and I really don’t know if it helps#hell im not entirely convinced buspar is not only NOT adding anything but if I stop my body will hate me#need to go talk about that with the dr but my appointment is next month and im lazy about pushing it up sooner#we’ll see. probably do that tomorrow after I run some errands#is this exciting? getting to see me plan out my day tomorrow? gonna grab groceries and med refills. wow it’s an inside scoop just for you#anyway this is a lot of rambling and I’m sorry if you read any of this#I’m super duper poor right now but I think I’ll run to the gas station and get a big fucking huge soda so I can ride a small sugar high#uggghhhh what a waste of a post#you can ignore this#text
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#ok. ok. in less than 8hrs i have to get up and drive to the airport. and thats ya kno but im trying to b ok abt it#like im not crying and hyperventilating. ive made the drive lots of times. its just. when i have to drive anywhere it morphs into#r u ready? ur gonna cause a horrible accident destroying multiple lives in the process. r u ready? and im like no i hate that stop#so that makes it hard. and im not a bad driver. it just terrifies me thst i space out and become non reactive. like thsts not good. be#reactive pls. i just hate it. and this means i also have to drive back as well. while probably horribly jet lagged#bleh. itll b fine. unless it isnt. but itll b fine. im just scared that something will happen and i wont b able to leave. i cant even b#excited abt going on vacation bc i cant think past the possibility of something preventing me from getting to ohio bc if i let myself get#excited then it wont happen. which is magical thinking nonsense but its how it feels. ugh. dont think abt it. itll be over in 24hrs đŸ€ž#knock on wood. idk what im gonna do while traveling tho. what am i gonna think abt? what to draw? what to plan? idk#the bad part of traveling is thst i cant take all my markers đŸ˜« me and my 500 shitty alcohol pens lol#ill either draw a lot bc im not working or very little bc ill actually be happy for a while#oh god. my boss just sent an email. i wanna ignore it. let me rest.#bleh. last time i flew home i wanted to cry when i landed lol. well see if that happens again#i feel like i was more depressed then but im more fucked up now. but like im also more functional. well. sorta#ugh. i should finish packing#unrelated#its so funny to me when i get homesick like lol bitch u wanna go back to ohio????
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