#a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes

[fappellmoan]

i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there

[aesthetic-bbyg]

BEACON OF HOPE ~ Sanji

LA!sanji x fem!reader

Warnings ! : being yelled at, daddy issues bc it’s the best fanfic seasoning, angst, fluff, abuse from parental figure, double standards, misogyny (or sexism?)

Nattie speaks: a lil something to y’all fed + I need a man like Sanji to comfort me and my daddy issues🙏

ZEFF WAS IN SOME SORT OF MOOD that day. The harsh trudging of his footsteps as he exited and entered the kitchen while bellowing orders was more then enough evidence to prove your point. Nobody in the kitchen even dared to breath the wrong way, afraid of the ex-pirates response. Even Sanji had managed to bite his tongue and hold back any snide remarks to keep the Zeff’s anger at bay.

You avoided any trouble all day, not causing a disturbance when a costumer was being particularly rude. You simply did you’re job was a waitress, took down orders and dropped them off at the kitchen, later coming back to collect the food and give them to the diners. You’d refused to even think about slacking off just a bit, not going over to Sanji for a couple flirtatious exchanges like usual. The Baratie was flooded in a thick tension but all was well, for the most part.

The business was booming with people, that certain point of the day where all the seats were filled with snobby, rich people. You’d been rushing between tables, taking down orders as quick as possible since these people didn’t recognize patience. It was overwhelming and overstimulating, making your temple throb in pain as you dragged you feet into the kitchen. You called out the order in a loud voice, sticking the scribbled notes onto the overhead where Carne cooked up a steak.

“Table 8 says they’ve been waiting for their drink for twenty minutes, y/n, hurry it up!” Zeff’s voice sudden boomed as he marched into the kitchen, you nearly flinched at the sound of his voice, swallowing down a remark about how those twenty minutes was actually a dramatized two minutes. Nonetheless you collected a few cups and took them straight out to table 8, some rich couple and their equally rich kids.

You gave them a kind smile, despite wanting to desperately slap their cocky smirks off their faces. “And are you ready to order?” You questioned in a chirpy tone, reaching for the notepad in your pocket and the pen tucked behind your ear.

“My, we just got our drinks, give us a minute to look over the menu.” The woman scoffed, you sucked you teeth in, blinking slowly and offering another wide grin.

“My apologies, I’ll be back in a bit.” You shoved the notepad back in its place, walking to a booth that was empty, though the table crowded in a mess of dishes. You reached for the sliver platter that held the receipt and a pitiful amount of berry left as a tip. “Assholes.” You mumbled, taking the money and collecting a few plates and cups.

The brewing storm in your head had begun to cloud your vision, sometimes you just wanted to quit and make a dramatic exit out of the shitty restaurant but you never had the balls to. The whole service you’d been good, held your shit together despite wanting to break down on the inside, bit your tongue, but the one moment you got vulnerable ended in tragedy.

In a fit of cursing out some of the customers out in your head, you didn’t take notice of the waiter coming out the kitchen at the exact same time you were entering. The collision led to the shatter of two plates, one cup and a mess of silverware clanking on the floor.

“Fuck.” You mumbled, watching as the waiter scurried away nervously, leaving you at the scene to deal with the approaching man.

“What the hell are you doing!” Zeff shouted, tone practically rumbling the whole restaurant as you stared up at him in utter shock. You felt like a kid again, having to guiltily stand there while an adult went on off on you. The man threw insults that he’d probably regret the next day, humiliating you over a few broken plates. You just stared down at the dirty floor, feeling tiny compared to him. “Clean this up and get out of sight!”

He walked past you, leaving the judging eyes of the kitchen crew to watch as you bent down, slowly picking up the larger chunks. You didn’t even realize that Sanji was approaching till the shadow of his figure loomed over you. You jumped, backing away in fear as you wide eyes met his. The boy frowned, taking notice at the tears pooling in your eyes and you’re quivering lip. You looked like a kicked puppy, that was enough for him to toss the shards of porcelain and help you up.

He took you out the back door, away from the staring eyes as he heard small whimpers escape your mouth. “It’s okay, darling, it’s okay.” He whispered, arms wrapped around your figure, his hand coming up to brush your hair. “The old man is just giving a hard time because he has a stick up his arse.”

You let out silent cries, tears dripping down your face and onto Sanji’s apron, his soothing tone helping ease the tightness in your chest. You felt stupid, and weak, crying over getting reprimanded for something that was your fault. Now your were taking valuable time away from both you and Sanji’s jobs, that’s all you thought about and it made you cry harder.

Funny enough, Sanji was thinking the opposite. He didn’t care about his job, or the broken pieces still laying on the kitchen floor, or even the fact that Zeff could come out any minute and yell at the two for slacking. All he cared about in that moment was you, making sure you cried all the tears you had, making sure that your trembling hands stilled. He placed chaste kisses on your head, standing there until your sobbing quieted down.

He slowly pulled away, hands still placed on your shoulder with a cautious look. “You look lovely, darling.” He chuckled at the sight of the black mascara that began to run down your cheek.

“Piss off.” You muttered humorously, taking the clean rag he offered and wiping away any evidence of your breakdown. “I hate today.”

“I know you do.” He whispered back, taking the cloth and gently swiping away the parts that you missed. “Beautiful as always.”

“Why are old people such assholes.” You shoved your head into his chest, words muffling as you did.

“Because they can’t get it up anymore without breaking a hip.”

You let out a chuckle, smiling against the material of his shirt, his chest vibrating with his own laugh and it calmed you down even more. You took in a deep breath, hands reaching down low, making the cook tense. You grabbed the pack of cigarettes he always had in his pockets, lifting the box with a sly smile.

“Get your head out the gutter.” He laughed quietly, reaching for the lighter in his other pocket as you shoved a cigarette into your mouth.

“Ready to go back in?” He questioned, watching as you puffed out a cloud of smoke.

“Yeah.” You replied quietly, taking a long drag while Sanji opened the door, allowing you to step in first. Gentleman, as always. “If Zeff smells this thing, I’m blaming you.”

The older man hated the stench of burnt out cigarettes that lingered in the air because Sanji had bad habit of lightening one every few hours. The ash tray on the extra table shoved in the corner of the kitchen was full, and Zeff always lectured the blonde on it, Sanji typically never cared enough to stop.

“Blame me all you want, darling, I’ll take the fall each time.” He winked at you, grabbing a dust pan and broom. He lazily swept up the mess, dumping it into the nearby garbage bin, something he knew Zeff would also yell at him about.

“He’s gonna kill you.”

“I’d like to that old man try.” Sanji smirked, giving you that classic flirty look that made the butteries flutter in your stomach. “Now, get back to work.”

You mocked a salut, rolling you’re eyes as you made your way to the kitchen doors, “Yes, chef.”

THE REST OF THE DAY HAD GONE smoothly, the sun hid itself behind the horizon as the dinning area emptied. Most of the guest had migrated to the bar, the party boomed at the other end of the restaurant.

You and Sanji were the only two in the kitchen, he was showing off some new dish he came up with, claiming it was the best thing on the VIP menu.

“We have a VIP menu?”

“Yeah, but it’s so secret that none of the guest know about it, not even the old man.” Sanji grinned, hand off the plate to you. “Now, the food critic decides.”

You rolled your eyes with a playful smile, picking up the fork and scooping up a bite into your mouth. The mixtures of taste were perfectly balance, unique flavors creating a wonderful sensation. There something about Sanji’s cooking that made you feel so safe and warm, you always teased that he was like a granny. He was able to create that familiarity in his food, something you eat every once in a while that reminds you of home.

You placed the fork down, dramatically folding your hands on your lap as you chewed down the food, “This dish, its…absolute shit.” You held back a smile, looking up at the cook.

Sanji glared at you, hands placed firmly on his hips. “You’re starting to sound like Zeff.”

“Ugh,” You groaned, “Don’t remind me.”

“I can’t believe he made you cry.” Sanji slid off into the seat right next to you, watching as the memory of his yelling flickered in your head, lips dipping into a soft frown. “Fuckin’ arse.”

“It really was my fault.” You mumbled back quietly, “But it was the fact that he yelled at me, you shoulda’ seen that look in his eyes.”

“I see it every day, darling.”

You didn’t like to reminisce on the past, especially since it was such a pain to even think about, both physically and emotionally. You didn’t open up about your family, or the crew you use to be a part of before running into the open arms of the Baratie. You were truly a mystery, you’re past locked up in a box and buried deep in the sand. Though sometimes, it escapes, poisoning you’re mind and breaking you down.

Zeff’s blow up triggered that poison, it spread like a virus, clouding you’re head for the rest of the day. Even now, you’d begun to dig up memories you didn’t want to remember. It was enough to make a fresh wave of tears build up, but you refused to cry this time, not allowing a single droplet to escape as you blinked them away. Though the quiet sniffle gave you away as Sanji glanced over at you, taking notice of the redness under your eyes, a silent confession that told him you were upset.

“You all right, darling?” He asked quietly, brows creased with worry, “Zeff isn’t here, he can’t make you feel like shit anymore.”

“It’s not that.” You whispered back, inhaling a shaky deep breath, “I’m just..thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” He asked, a comforting hand coming to hold yours. “If you need to talk about something you can talk to me.”

Silence filled the room as you struggled with making a decision, the truth was you’d probably start crying your eyes out if you opened your mouth. But the longer you held in these memories, the more toxic the venom became, it was tug-of-war between yourself and your conscious. Then again, the same trauma of the memories is what makes it such a hard task to open up.

You licked your lips, squeezing his hand gently and looking down. “I came from a pirate crew, but this pirate crew in specific was my family. Everyone on the ship was made up of all my relatives, mom, dad, siblings, cousins.” You saw the man nod from the corner of your eye, silently confirming his attendance. “My dad was the captain of the crew, and god he was a fuckin’ pain in the ass.” You voice cracked, words beginning to distort as you sucked in a deep breath. “My job on the crew was to basically be a maid, to pick up after the messes he made. Scrub the bird shit off the ledge, mop the deck, shine his shoes, serve him food, serve him drinks, anything a basic human can do I had to do for him.” You’re sadness had slowly began to turn to anger, your eyes lifting to finally meet his. “I got nothing in return, not even a few berry for the trouble.”

Sanji frowned deeply, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. “Why would your father do this to you?”

His questioned made you scoff, because it was the same thing you asked the eighteen years your spent on the torturous ship. It wasn’t until you grew out of the naivety that you realized the answer. “Because I was a woman, and as a woman it was my job, my place, to provide service for the men. I was treated like shit all my life, and no one dared to say a thing.” You stood up, hand pulling away from his as you ran it through your hair frustratedly, moving to pace the kitchen. “The men believed that it was the job of a good wife to give and give, while they just take. I seemed to be the only one who didn’t believe this. But no one could ever speak up to the man, the captain himself, god forbid you disobeyed that asshole because he was never wrong, no matter the situation.” You finally sat back down, picking at your nails. “For years I was treated like nothing more then a slave, yelled at for being to slow, never praised for my work, only picked on what was wrong. It changed my way in seeing people, and it permanently left a scar on my everyday life. Hearing Zeff yell at me that way, it’s just..”

“I know, darling, I know.” Sanji cooed, for soft and tender, “That day, when you first arrived at The Baratie, you had a mark on your left cheek.” The cook swallowed thickly, recalling the day you’re feeble body came to the doors of the restaurant and begged for help. “Was that from him?”

The day before you escaped the ship you’d been refused food, as a punishment for not finishing your chores in time. When you spoke up about being hungry and the unfairness of it all, you received a harsh slap across the face. That was it, that was the last bit of disrespect you’d take. So you set off to steal a life boat and run away from the horrible treatment. “Yes, it was.”

“Bloody hell.” Sanji muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What was the name of your families crew?”

“The Calavera pirates.” You replied, Sanji leaned in closed, placing a finger on your chin to lift your gaze towards him.

“I’ll remember that name until the end of my life, and the day I find them, know that your same pain will be brought upon them.” His tone was so serious and low. His threat sent a chill down your spine, and not because you were scared of it, but because you knew he meant it. “You deserved so much better, darling.” He whispered, bringing you into his arms and planting a kiss on your hairline.

Sanji so desperately wanted to open his mouth and say that he’d treat you like a queen if you’d just give him a chance. But the man’s feelings were shoved down before they could tumble out his mouth. He chose to remain silent, allowing his actions to speak for him. With this new confession he made it his mission to take the extra step in making sure you were treated right. He would be your shoulder to cry on or someone to love, whatever you wanted. It was painful, the amount of love he held in his heart and he was unable to fully show you it.

But if he must wait all his life, he will.

sobbing but wanting to smash at the same time

lord pls send help.

[thegoldencontracts]

Hey! I love your writing and was wondering if I could please request something myself?

Perhaps something where the reader finds out Azul is ticklish?

No pressure ofc^^ I’ll enjoy anything you write. Thank you!

- 🐙

Of course, thank youu for the request! I love the idea of him getting sooo embarrassed and ofc teasingly "oblivious"!reader bc I'm a sucker for flustered Azul and of course PININGGG

That's Preposterous!

Summary: Azul always seems so- perfect, always calm and in control. So when you find a new way to break his composure, you can't help but tease him about it.

Notes: So lovely to write, tw for tickling in case it's a trigger for you

Azul was always calm. Always in control. There was no denying that. You loved that side of him, all those talents, his voice, his grades - all obtained through hard work.

But you also loved to see the little cracks in his composure. The Azul beneath the mask of a perfect businessman. You'd made a little mental scrapbook of all these occasions, like you he blushed when you called him beautiful, or the way he got pouty whenever someone talked about his mess-ups during flight class. You seriously loved seeing those little slip ups.

...Seven, you were so crushing on him. You could practically hear Ace laughing at you for not just confessing already. But that wouldn't happen, because Azul would probably just reject you on the spot. He always talked about how dumb love was, after all.

For now, you'd just have to be satisfied with continuing to try and break through his composure. And hey, sometimes, it worked!

Like now. You were studying with him in the as, and while trying to reach for a book behind Azul, and you accidentally grazed his midsection.

The yelp you received was priceless.

"Huh?" You asked, though a second later, it was pretty apparent what happened. You could feel the grin stretch across your face. Getting that book wasn't important. Right now, you'd just found a new way to break through Azul's composure.

"Azul."

It was lilting, teasing, even, and Azul pretty quickly began to realize what you'd realized.

Azul Ashengrotto was ticklish? Another weakness to add to your little mental scrapbook.

"Is something wrong, Azul?" You asked in the most innocent-sounding voice you could muster.

Azul's eyes narrowed.

"I'm certain you understand the issue," he said, though no amount of defensiveness could hide the way his cheeks were turning red.

Somehow, you felt even more smug than before. This was going to be fun.

"No, no," you said. "Something has to be wrong! Maybe, you're sick? Let me check your temperature."

And so, you skittered your fingers all over his midsection, making it pretty evident that you did not, in fact, think he was sick, and were simply trying to mess with him, because people usually didn't usually check for a fever on the stomach.

Azul kept his lips stubbornly pressed shut, though he still ended up letting out a yelp right before he pushed your hands away.

"C-Cease this at once," he said, cheeks now bright red.

"Why?" You asked, and just as he was about to retort, you poked at his stomach. "Are you sore here or something? If so, I can always help!"

You sounded so innocent there it was actually impressive. Azul, meanwhile, couldn't hold in his laughter anymore.

"S-Shut it, you a-absolute-" Azul cut himself off with laughter. "Creti- Gah!"

Just as he was about to call you a cretin, you upped your attack, sending him into a full-on giggling fit.

"Really, Azul, tell me, what's happening? Why exactly are you laughing so hard? Did I say something funny?"

Azul glared at you as if to say 'How the fuck do you expect me to reply when I'm laughing too hard to talk', though it was hard to take him seriously when his cheeks were bright red and he had the biggest - forced, but still - smile on his face.

You still slowed down. You didn't want to actually cause him pain, after all. As much as you hated to admit it, you loved him way too much for that.

Finally slowing your assault, you shot Azul what was probably one of the coolest looking impish grins of all time.

"So," you started. "Is something wrong, Azul?"

It seemed like the dots had finally connected in Azul's brain. There was only one way to get out of this.

He'd have to admit he was ticklish.

"I-I'm afraid I'm rather..." He trailed off, ducking his head in embarrassment. You weren't having any of that. You scratched a finger under his chin, making him look up with a yelp. "Ticklish."

His face was bright red, eyes looking anywhere but you, and his hair ruffled. You couldn't help but grin as you finally removed your fingers. He looked so- mesmerizing like this.

"Glad to see you admitted it," you said, because the oblivious act had served it's purpose.

Azul just glared at you, but the pout on his face made it much less intimidating.

"Don't speak a word of this to anyone," he said. "Do you understand- Gah!"

You cut him off with a quick poke, and he looked at you incredulously.

"Aww, is Azul embarrassed that he-"

"Get out!" He said, voice cracking midway. He was really embarrassed about this, wasn't he?

You were going to stop for now, though. Or else you feared he might just explode considering how red his face was getting.

"Fine, fine."

As you left the office, though, you managed to catch a glimpse of Azul's fond smile, his little goodbye wave while he thought no one was looking.

[sungbeam]

𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐝

nonidol!eric sohn x f!reader

1.7k words, YO! SUGGESTIVE, college au, kissing, swearing, mentions of drinking, the bra comes off but nothing explicit (uh minors... DNI), his shirt comes off, barely proofread bc i wrote this on impulse and tis late for me

a/n: i let my impulsive and intrusive thoughts win.

Hands—his hands were everywhere. Anywhere he could fit his palms, his fingers against and into—every curve and crevice would not be leaving untouched. He burned his prints into your skin, signed his name with his lips, tongue, voice.

"This okay?" He murmured against the column of your throat. He could probably feel the way your pulse raced at his touch as you arched yourself into him.

Your breath hitched, his lips pressing feather-light kisses, his fingertips dancing along the bottom hem of your shirt. "More—more than okay," you exhaled, tangling your fingers in his hair.

He gave a groan of approval from the hollow of your throat, then swiftly moved back up to capture your lips for himself and steal your breath away.

(before.)

"Yn." At the feeling of a nudge to your side, you turned to your friend Jisung whose face was fitted with the widest, shit-eating grin. "You know that guy's been checking you out all night, right?"

He inclined his head toward your 4 o'clock, and you curiously followed his gaze to see what he was talking about.

You caught sight of him across the room—red ball cap, white dress shirt with nearly half the buttons undone, exposing the smooth skin beneath and the chain hanging from his collar. He nodded at you, tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he smiled.

Your heart went and did a row of cartwheels.

You and Jisung had come with a group of friends to this one party tonight. There were no expectations, really, only that you had all Rock-Paper-Scissored and Felix was forced to DD. Jisung and you had lost the others pretty fast, but you hadn't minded the bit of one on one time you got with him. (You liked to claim you didn't have favorites, but Han Jisung was a little difficult to not love.)

"You know him?" Jisung asked you after draining whatever was left in his plastic cup. He gave a grimace at the burn down the back of his throat.

"Uhm yeah, actually." You smiled, lifting a brow. "Eric Sohn. Plays shortstop for the uni baseball team." Yeah, you knew him, alright. You never missed a baseball game, even since high school, and that tradition had yet to stop in college. Sometimes, you would even go with your other friend Seungmin, if he had time. It was something that reminded you a lot of life in your hometown, where all your closest friends would hit the neighborhood field to play a round or two. Of course, constantly being in the stands meant that someone was bound to notice your presence.

Maybe he'd finally figured out you weren't there for anyone in particular.

A crease formed between Jisung's brows. "What the fuck's a shortstop?—You know what? I don't need to know," he said with a shake of his head. He turned his body toward you, extending his hand, "Dude's coming this way, so I won't step on your toes."

You passed Jisung an incredulous look, but clasped his hand with yours. "Just say you don't wanna cockblock me, Ji."

He laughed. "Hey, you said it this time, not me! Use protection, my friend," he teased, patting you on the shoulder before taking his leave and melding with the crowd.

You rolled his eyes, but your heart still thundered in your chest. Jisung said Eric was on his way over to you, and you were a little nervous to turn around and look—

"I've kind of been wondering about something."

Here he is. You whirled around and came face to face with the man in question. From up close, his jawline was even sharper than it looked from all the way up in the bleachers, his hands veiny all the way down his forearms. And his shirt seemed to be hanging on just enough to leave something for the imagination, but you were sure your imagination would be pretty on the nose anyway. His smile was even prettier this close and there was something boyish about its edge that threw you for a loop. He braced an arm against the wall next to you, and you saw the glint of his silver watch and the rings adorning his fingers.

"And what would you be wondering?" You prompted with a small tilt of your head.

"What's a girl as pretty as you doing alone all the time?" He asked. "I've been racking my brain for an explanation, and none of my teammates say they know you."

"Maybe I'm just looking for a good time," you replied airily, leaning toward him slightly. Then it came to you, the replays of him on the field, the way he so effortlessly caught your attention like he turned double plays. "And someone who knows what he's doing, I suppose."

His smile widened a sliver, following your lead. "And what can I do to prove to you that I do?"

You could smell the expensive, but subtle cologne lingering on his skin and clothes over the smell of the party around you. Your eyes darted down to his lips and you saw him do the same to you. "Come a little closer and find out."

(now.)

He was addicted to the taste of you—couldn't stop and didn't plan to stop until he traced every inch of you with his mouth. Eric had lost his cap at some point between meeting you and getting you alone in this room. It was dark, it was hot—you were hot. Your skin was on fire, there was sweat dripping down the back of your neck. Your hands were in his hair, but he wanted them on his body, in his pants, and still in his hair.

You gave a tug as he pressed his tongue into your mouth, a pretty whine coaxed from you. God, you were so pretty. So pretty and perfect and—he couldn't believe you were single.

His nose slotted against yours, his knee sliding between your thighs and keeping your knees from buckling. He kept you up by his own strength and the wall behind you.

You broke for air and he dove for your neck. "Eric," you managed to say between breaths, the top of his head tickling the bottom of your chin.

He hummed, hands squeezing your sides. "I'm gonna stick my hands under your shirt," he rasped when he pulled back to look you in the eyes, a silent question of permission.

"Be my guest."

"You're cute," he chuckled, leaning over to press a kiss to your lips.

You smiled. "I can say the same about you." You reached for his face with both of your hands, feeling goosebumps rise on your skin as his hands inched up under your shirt. "Now let me eat you up, Eric Sohn."

You could taste his laugh on your tongue. "Mmh—fuck, I like the—the sound of that."

And you were all too soon consumed and suffocating on him again, choking on the feel of muscle beneath your hands that moved to grip his shoulders; ascending, as he pressed himself against you, until no air existed between your bodies. Your mind was blank, all that laid upon your tongue was his and his name.

Eric, Eric, Eric…

"Can I take your shirt off?" You asked between kisses, catching his bottom lip between your teeth for a spell.

His forehead rested against yours, noses slotted beside each other. He braced an arm against the wall by your head while the other wrapped around your waist. "Oh my god, please."

Lazily, he kissed you again, and he somehow made your toes curl even more.

He would turn his eyes downward to watch your fingers slide each button out of its slit, the curtains of his white shirt slowly falling open. And he would find your lips again, one kiss rewarded for each buttoned freed.

Eric shrugged the garment off and it fluttered to the floor. With your eyes adjusted to the dark and the minimal light streaming in from beneath the door, you could trace the hard lines of his arms and stomach. Line by line.

"You're beautiful," you blurted out suddenly. Inwardly, you winced; dear god, you hoped you didn't just kill the mood.

Instead, though, he giggled. No one had ever called him beautiful before, at least, not to his face. Eric cupped the back of his neck with boyish glee, then moved to hold your cheek. "I'm gonna kiss you for that."

That was so fine by you.

He made good on his word and dove for your mouth, expertly catching the back of your head with his hand for cushion against the wall. And if you hadn't had the wall for support, you were certain the force of his kiss would have you bending over backwards.

Your fingers dug into his arms for good measure. Heat pooled in your belly, a fire that kept you fueled and was fanned by Eric-motherfucking-Sohn.

He groaned into your mouth, an awfully delicious sound. "Bra clasp? Wanna feel you, baby."

As everything seemed to be, permission was granted immediately.

His fingers flew up your shirt again and cupped you through your bra. You felt him wrap around your body, nimbly flicking at the clasp—

There was a hurried and loud knock on the door, and you both jolted in surprise.

"Occupied!" Eric barked, hands stilling over the place where your strapless bra had been two seconds ago.

"Eric? It's Kevin! It's an emergency." Someone's voice—Kevin's—echoed through the locked door. He didn't even bother to jiggle the handle.

You saw a muscle feather in his jaw, and he carded a hand through his damp, dark hair. Conflict flickered in his eyes, from you, to the door. "One minute, hyung."

You heard footsteps retreat from outside.

Eric leaned down and scooped up your bra and his shirt from the floor, handing you your garment with a sigh. "Sorry for cutting this short," he murmured, cupping the back of your head affectionately.

Your smile was easy, and you swiftly reset your clothes and hair. "Don't worry about it. It sounds important."

"If it's Kevin, then it probably is," he agreed. He'd finished buttoning up his shirt halfway.

When you reached for the doorknob, Eric spun you back around towards him and swooped in for a kiss that made your head spin around. His tongue swiped over your bottom lip, a last taste for now. "I'm not done with you yet, though, Yn."

You bit back your grin. "I was betting on that, Sohn."

read the sequel here!

tbz m.list

[mypimpademia]

So idk if you write for Kiri, but you know how kirishima is kinda like a total boys boy? Like a gym bro, kinda hyper masc? Well do you think you can write him with a hyper fem/hello kitty kinda girl? Like he always thought that he would be with kinda a gym girl, or someone more his speed with that kind of stuff, but instead he falls in love with a girl who always is wearing pink and something hello kitty themed? And how once he tells the bakugo buddy bunch about his crush on her they totally bully him for it (lovingly ofc)

Or maybe denki? I love both the silly boys bc iykwim they jus so adorable!

Like denki has a type, and [insert reader name] did not meet the standards of that, but little sparky boy did not think he would fall in love with her so quicky, especially because she's jus so feminine, and not necessarily that it's bad, he is just so confused on why they feel the need to dress like that. He's not opposed to trying new things or matching outfits tho.....

GAGAHSJRD SORRY I WROTE ALOT THERE ANTWYAS LOVE YOUR STUFF YOUR AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGG XX THANK YOU YOU DONT HAVE TO UF YOU DONT WANNA SHDJFJF

— Contrast

Kirishima x Hyperfem! Fem!Reader

TW: Swearing

Note: YOURE PERFECTLY FINE, I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE GO INTO DETAIL WITH REQUESTS🫶🏾 TYSM FOR SUPPORTING I HOPE YOU ENJOY LOVELY💖💖

— KIRISHIMA

⇶ Eijiro himself was confused when he developed feelings for you

⇶ He would never tell you this now, or probably ever, but you were nothing like the type of girl he imagined himself with

⇶ He always thought he’d date a girl that was similar to him interest wise, athletic, very fitness focused, into stuff like protein shakes

⇶ Not to say that it was bad that you weren’t like that, but it just wasn’t expected

⇶ Even the Bakusquad was perplexed when he revealed that he had a crush on you

“No fucking way.”

Eijiro waved off Denki’s response, slumping into the sofa with a sigh.

“Hey, don’t be an asshole! What’s wrong with Y/n? She’s cool and pretty!” Mina defended, shoving Denki by his shoulder.

He groaned dramatically, jokingly rubbing his arm in the spot she made contact with.

“I don’t mean it like that,” he explained. “She’s just the complete opposite of what Eiji always said he was lookin’ for in a girl.”

“No fuckin’ kidding, have you seen the girls room? It’s like she set off a pink paint bomb in there,” Bakugo chimed in.

“I like it!” Mina exclaimed.

“Yeah, I wonder why,” Bakugo muttered, earning a pillow to the face from Mina in response.

“I dunno, I kinda like it. It’s cute, and it’s actually a really nice contrast to me and my usual type,” Eijiro said.

“Yeah, you guys would look good together,” Denki, urged. “Honestly, I was gonna go for her, but I’ll let you have her!”

Eijiro rolled his eyes at the cocky remark from his friend.

“Let him? It’s that Denki for ‘I couldn’t pull her if I tried?’ Or?” Mina teased.

“Hey, what happened to ‘don’t be an asshole,’?”

⇶ When you do eventually get together, Eijiro comes to love your hyperfeminine all pink aesthetic

⇶ At first, the constant stares of all your stuffed animals would scare him when he slept over, and he had more nightmares of them attacking him than he’d like to admit

⇶ But now, your room is his favorite place to sleep, especially after a good workout and shower

⇶ Loves seeing you all dolled up whenever you go out anywhere

⇶ Sending him daily fit pics is a REQUIREMENT.

⇶ Calls you his doll all the time because that’s what you remind him of when you’re all dressed up in some frilly outfit and covered in pink from head to toe

⇶ Doesn’t understand the obsession with Sanrio and Hello Kitty and why you incorporate it into all your outfits, but he loves guessing the names of whatever character(s) you have on your clothes that day and gets so happy when he guesses right

⇶ And even though he doesn’t understand, he still buys you anything Sanrio that he sees in the store because he knows you’ll like it

⇶ If you make him watch Hello Kitty and Friends with you though, Eijiro will quickly learn to love it and know all the characters names by heart

⇶ Gets you both sleep masks of your favorite characters as well as matching pajamas

⇶ Eijiro might just love your cutesy aesthetic more than you, even though it’s not exactly what he gravitates towards for himself

⇶ Although you weren’t necessarily the type of person he expected to fall for, he could never imagine himself with anyone else <3

—

Taglist: @megurulvr @ivanari @planetlunaa @romiantic @szaplsdropthealbum @dreampurpledreams @goldenglow149 @gender-queery @roaringlion @cosmiles @tatiquichi @kxtsxkii @lillizxzz @starsoir @nikorubakugou @ruubric

Send in an ask or DM me to be added to all taglists, or fill out my form to be added to select ones.

—

Thank you for reading, comments and reblogs are appreciated! Follow for more!

[psychabolition]

saw ur post about wanting asks

what is ur thoughts on the aspd or maybe cluster b community in general on social media/tumblr? what about cluster b influencers?

honestly I feel like aspd is a diagnosis that most people reject since the reason people get diagnosed with it is that you dont feel bad about an extreme deviancy from societal norms. why would you accept a diagnosis that pathologizes that?Wheres the benefit in that? Especially bc its often in a setting that also criminalizes you and is very obviously forced onto you and thus unwanted (court mandated therapy).

Thats why its always fascinating to me who the demographic of people actually are that accept that diagnosis for themselves and actually view themselves and their experiences the same way their therapists/psychology tells them to. Who finds comfort in this extremely stigmatizing label and the inhumane treatment it accompanies and why ?

I think its mostly people who first found comfort in other labels that are less stigmatizing via the usual "relief of shame that comes with saying that its a disease causing us to not be able to do something that is expected societally instead of feeling like we ARE a bad person for thinking/feeling/doing 'bad/immoral things' and then also accepting an aspd diagnosis as fitting afterwards. Also fitting into several pathologizing labels (=diagnoses) in the first place also means that youve probably experienced more violence (psychiatric abuse/child abuse/social ostracization/patriarchal violence/racism/...) and had/have less community to help you through it and thus also were then less able to find identity and language for the way that youre different from others through a community and a non-conformist way of living together, than others did who might only get labelled w aspd. the social ostracization/lack of community an thus lack of language for our experiences then also makes you more susceptible to accepting an aspd diagnosis since after (self) diagnosis you finally have words for the ways that you deviate from neuronormativity.

But to me the aspd label is the worst possible lens through which we can of interpret our own norm deviancy, honestly. you really notice that with cluster b influencers in general where its really obvious that they think theyre evil irredemable people. Like when they say extremely dehumanizing things about themselves like: "I need supply from people to function otherwise I crash!". they would benefit greatly from trying to humanize their experiences and getting rid off this pathologization that they internalized. I cant even imagine what it means for their personal life to actually say all these things about themselves and others that all literally convey that they are people that are not to be trusted . like they legit say things like "all my relationships are transactional, I use people for my own benefit and I cant feel love for anyone" and expect their friends to still like them? LOL. Like I mean I ALSO fit the aspd criteria haha dont get me wrong but its the worst most dehumanizing way to interpret your own experiences.

though generally I think ppl who are labelled w cluster B PDs are all awesome and I can only hope for all of us that we find new non-stigmatizing depathologized language for ourselves and community through which we can find a real meaningful identity , acceptance and support in our norm-deviancy outside of pathologization via psychology and also healing through a community that holds emotional space and understanding for the abuse and ostracization that we have faced in the past and shows solidarity in our present struggles. I think especially people labelled w aspd are cool as fuck since ,to me, we are literally born anarchists. I often think about what difference it would make if we all got radicalized politically - all psych wards would burn immediatly . Pathologizing us is always a means of trying to neutralize dissent and resistance to the social order. This is why we're perceived as a threat in the first place, because we are one.

Thanks for the ask. I'd love to hear other anti psych opinions on the aspd /cluster b community !

[sinkingteethinwhitenoise]

Limoncello - Chapter 6

Pairings: Nick Folio x OFC, Bad Omens x OFC

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Fluff, cursing, one mini flashback, I didn't proof read half of this bc I hate myself, a stupid joke? or exchange??, like it's really fucking dumb i'm warning you.

Series Masterlist

“To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.” ~ Mark Twain

Mountains of different shirts, shorts, pants, skirts, and dresses littered the floor in Maeve’s bedroom. She couldn’t even see the floor anymore. When Nick had told her that he found it hard to believe that she owned anything black, she hadn’t expected that the nail polish would actually be the only black thing she owned. She also hadn’t realized that she had this many clothes. She growled in frustration as she grabbed yet another colorful article of clothing. She looked over to her vanity where her phone was propped up against the mirror, her best friend’s bored face covering the screen as she watched Maeve through the ongoing facetime call. 

“Presley,” Maeve whined to her friend, striding towards the phone and picking it up as she anxiously ran her fingers through hair. “What do I do? I have nothing to wear to this gig.” 

Presley sighed and rubbed her eyes. “Your floor looks like the opening scene of Clueless. You have plenty to wear,” she started. “What exactly are you going for?”

“Like…A rockstar girlfriend type of look,” Maeve sounded unsure. “At least something that won’t make me stick out like a sore thumb.” 

Presley visibly held back laughter. “Babe, that’s so not you. You’re not going to find anything that fits the bill in your closet.” 

“Well what do I do? I can’t go buy anything,” Maeve whined. “I have to be ready in an hour.” 

Presley thought for a moment, “Do you still have those dark green corduroy shorts?” 

Maeve nodded and set the phone down to dig through the closet once more. She found them relatively quick and put them on to ensure that they still fit. They did. 

“Great,” Presley approved. “Now just style those how you’d usually style them. You’ll look gorgeous. If that boy likes you for you, he’ll think so too. Plus, it’s a dive bar. Don’t overthink it.”

Maeve felt her face heat up at the mention of Nick possibly liking her. She hoped he did, but she continuously convinced herself that he was just friendly. Presley had been rooting for them the moment Maeve told her about him on the day the band moved in across the street.

“Presley!” Maeve beamed once she answered the facetime call. “I have new neighbors! Across the street!”

“I’m assuming you already went over there?” Presley questioned, knowing her friend’s tendency to be hospitable. 

“I just got back from bringing them cookies,” Maeve confirmed. “It’s four guys. And! They’re a band. From what I can tell, they play pretty heavy stuff. Well, heavy for me at least.” Maeve rambled on with the biggest smile that Presley had seen from her in a long time. Maeve usually was one to get excited about meeting new people. But Presley could tell this was different. 

“How did it go?” Presley asked gently, trying to get more information about these neighbors and why they had her so excited. 

“It went really well! They’re all so kind! They loved the cookies,” Maeve giggled before she continued. “Oh! Their drummer is really cute.” 

Presley watched as Maeve’s face turned bright red. “Tell me more about this drummer.” 

“Well, his name is Nick. He seemed a little bit shy. But when we shook hands, neither of us let go when we definitely should’ve. I feel really stupid for that. It’s probably my fault,” Maeve’s smile faded a bit. “Oh my God, he probably thinks I’m so weird.”

Presley laughed and shook her head, “If he didn’t let go either, it’s probably fine.” Presley didn’t say anything then, but she knew that Maeve had a crush and that Nick probably had one too. 

Maeve dug through the clothes on the floor and in the closet looking for some very specific pieces. She grabbed a fitted, cropped white tank top, a thin brown belt, and some brown boots. After dressing herself completely she threw on a dainty, gold necklace and matching stud earrings. She backed up so she was in frame to show Presley. “This is cute right? I don’t think I’ll stick out like a sore thumb.” 

“Super cute. Super you.” Presley gave her a thumbs up. “I love it.”

“Cool,” Maeve nodded. “One more question. Bubble braids?”

“Oh, absolutely!”

After throwing her hair into bubble braids, doing some light, glowy makeup, and saying goodbye to Presley, Maeve grabbed her purse and made her way across the street. She smiled as she saw the garage door open the second she stepped into their driveway. ‘Perfect timing,’ she thought. 

Nicholas stepped outside first, his hair sitting messily in a bun on top of his head. He offered a tight lipped smile. “Hey Maeve. You’re still riding with us, right?”

“If that’s still okay with you guys, then yes,” she grinned as she approached him. 

“Well, you’ll be riding with Folio in the truck,” he explained. “And trust me, he’s more than okay with it.”

“Oh you guys take separate vehicles?” Maeve tilted her head to the side. 

Nicholas nodded, “Yeah. The drum kit takes up a lot of space, so we have to.”

The door leading into the garage opened and Nick emerged. He seemed to be on autopilot as he went straight over to the drum kit without even glancing in their direction. As he began to prepare it for loading, Nicholas leaned over to Maeve. “Watch this,” he whispered. He cleared his throat. “Hey, Folio.”

Without turning to look, Folio responded with a hum. 

Nicholas tried to hold back a smirk, “Maeve’s here. You’re not gonna say hi?”

Folio froze in his spot for a moment. His eyes widened as he finally turned around. His face had turned beet red in a matter of seconds. 

Maeve tried to hold back a laugh, “Yeah what’s up with that?” She played along. “You invited me and you’re not even gonna say hi?” He looked nervous, embarrassed and clearly didn’t know what to say. Maeve couldn’t hold in her laughter anymore as she walked over to him, “I’m just messing.” She placed her hand on his bicep and gave it a comforting squeeze. 

His face settled into a goofy grin as he looked down at her, “Very funny.” 

“Nicholas started it,” Maeve jutted her thumb to point behind her at Nicholas, who had a hand over his mouth still trying so hard not to burst out laughing. 

Folio rolled his eyes as he turned his focus to Nicholas. “Since this is so funny, why don’t you help me load this up?”

Maeve stepped to the side as Nicholas began to help Folio. Once they were far away enough from Maeve, Nicholas decided to tease him a little more. “You are so fucking down bad,” he mumbled to him with a shit eating grin on his face. 

“Shut the fuck up.”

With all the instruments and equipment loaded up, they all left for the bar. Maeve sat in the passenger’s seat of Nick’s old truck and tried not to stare too hard at his profile while he drove. Nick was trying to keep his eyes on the road. It was proving difficult with how pretty she looked and how nice she smelled, so he kept stealing little glances. 

He then realized how quiet it was. Even with the music playing from the radio, he still felt like there was an intense, awkward silence. He needed to say something. He didn’t want it to seem like he didn’t want her there. So, he began to talk about the first thing that came to mind. It just so happened to be a shower thought that he’d had earlier. “You know dog whistles?” he asked her.

Maeve furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at him. “Yeah…” she trailed off, confused. “What about them?”

“So, only dogs hear them, right?”

“I guess…yeah.” She had no idea where he was going with this, but she was curious enough to play into it. 

“Alright. Have you ever heard of a death whistle?” he questioned, seemingly changing the subject. 

“Like the Aztec ones?” Maeve asked. A smile began to form on her face at the strangeness of this conversation. 

“Exactly,” said Nick. “Do you think it’s the same? Like only dogs can hear dog whistles. Can only dead people hear death whistles?”

She bursted into a fit of laughter. “Definitely not,” she responded. “How would that even work? How do they hear it if they're dead?” 

Nick started to laugh along with her, “I don’t know! Maybe their souls have ears or something.” 

“That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard,” Maeve laughed, clearly amused. She lifted her hand to cover her mouth as she continued to laugh harder and harder the more she thought about the absurdity of the question. 

Nick looked over at her fully as he laughed at his own stupid question and her reaction to it. Then he noticed her nails. “Hey, did you paint your nails? They’re black.”

Through heaving breaths in an attempt to control her laughter, Maeve nodded. “Yeah, I painted them last night. Thought it could be fun for us to match.” 

Nick swore he felt his heart swell at the admission and he was rendered speechless for a moment. “Yeah,” he said softly, his own laughter long faded but a fond smile still present. “That’s sick.” 

[cuephrase]

10, 11, 12, 13, 17, 25, 26, 27, and 28 for the comics ask game! (feel free to break up or just the ones you want to)

coming from this ask game

i'm going to skip 26 + 27 because when i tried to do it i realized a) certain art styles have grown on me and b) i was hard-pressed to find a comic that fit bc i don't collect books i don't enjoy, unless i'm getting it purely for the variant cover...at which point i like neither the writing nor the interior art lmao. sorry!!

10. The prettiest cover

from top to bottom, left to right Red Hood: Outlaw (2016) #27, Batman (2016) #150, Tim Drake: Robin #10, Nightwing (2016) #94

-est's are sooooo hard for me, and i'm so indecisive, and there's so many art styles...so i picked these four lmao. i have so many pretty covers okay, i tried.

this picture does not do it justice, but the red hood issue is foiled and i just love it. foil is fun in general, but i feel like it makes the blood more...bloody? wow i'm so eloquent. IT'S COOL IMO OKAY. not that this is shocking to anyone, but i am v obsessed with pink...the batman cover is pink. but also!! bruce is smiling. and the motion of the cape feels so lush. it just makes me happy. um. so. the tim cover. listen. the color palette is pretty, i love the early dawn + his bright colors. also. he's pretty. NEXT. i adore this nightwing cover. it's so soft, like it kinda looks like it was done with, crap idk my art mediums, oil pastels? the texture is so smooth. plus, i love like the scene and all the details, like it's just so satisfying.

i'm realizing i may have defined 'prettiest' strangely. oh well.

11. The ugliest cover

Teen Titans (2011) #18

ngl i probably have uglier covers but like WTF why does his face look like that. (the struggle here was that i either buy covers i like or the cover is completely irrelevant, so then i was neutral about like...pretty much every book i bought for content not cover lmao.)

12. Your favorite comic you have

Robin (1993) #10, 13, 46, 156

just for you, i did the tim drake edition version of this question hehe. hang on, lemme compose myself so i can be mostly normal about these comics. *muffled screaming* alright!!

first!! ROBIN!DICK AN ROBIN!TIM ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! with jason-haunting-the-narrative angst?! to die for. then we have tim being robin to dick's batman, so fun, with a healthy serving of bruce and dick angst and they actually communicate a bit. so frickin good. i've talked before about how much i love love love #46, and that has not changed- i revisted it recently and *oh my godddddd*. tim struggling with robin vs. tim drake, and then utterly failing despite his best efforts when he was already questioning if he even makes a difference? fuck yes. sorry. and then!! super-depressed!timbo talking a would-be jumper into not jumping and then calling dick? words cannot express the sheer !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel about these issues. this is me trying to be normal about them, that's how bad it is. as with the previous answer to 12, i have pages of these comics eternally memorized.

13. Your least favorite comic you have (and why you originally grabbed it!)

Red Hood: The Hill

allow me to explain my comic buying method. first of all, i try to buy only comics i've read + liked, unless i like the cover or it's a current release. so this is a little bit recency bias, but also current stuff is pretty much the only thing i'll be buying blind for the story itself.

i picked up this mini bc it was marketed as a jason run. HA. you could completely cut him from the story and like. so little would change. his only relevance was marketing. the story itself was also like, super boring to me, but in the spirit of fairness + acknowledging bias, i was enticed by a jason story and not given one. so. if i'd come to the run expecting an oc + batman i might've had a very different experience.

if this had been out on dcui, i would not have picked this run up. maybe the dan mora covers if i saw them when digging through boxes. but purely for the covers.

17. comic you picked up just for the cover art

Batman (2016) #50, Nightwing #81, Task Force Z #8, Robins #3

have not read the issue yet, bc i have not kicked off my Big Batman Read Through, but i am fairly certain it will upset me when i get to it lmao. i have a soft spot for sketch covers, i think they're so neat. plus this one is so evocative. technically, the nightwing cover may not count bc i'm sort of collecting all of nightwing, but at the time i bought it purely for the cover. the graffiti is fun, dick + tim + milkshakes = cute!! i enjoyed task force z, but not enough to buy the run, however when i saw this cover i had to get it. idk how to express it but the composition tickles my brain in the best way. ugh so cool. MARCUS TO TIM?!?!?! HELLO?! WHAT MORE NEED I SAY?!

25. The comic with the coolest variant cover

Nightwing (2016) #107, Red Hood: Outlaw #35, Batman and Robin (2023) #1, Tim Drake: Robin #2

i do not yet have the comic(s) with the coolest variant covers i want, so i decided to do a cover for each robin! dammit tim and damian are in the wrong order. dick through the ages by dan mora? amazing. just. so cool. so fun. enjoy the atmosphere on the red hood one + his reflection being in a puddle of blood, very classy. dami and bruce just look so 🥹🥹🥹. love the lighting/composition. and now is when i joke that i almost just did all the dan mora tribute covers lmao. very much love them all, but the dick and tim cover is my fave. like. it's just so sweet. the brothers. the homage. the !!!!!!!!!! of it all. gah i love them sm fr

28. A run you have completely collected (trades, singles, or mix!)

Red Robin (2009)

it has literally just occured to me that i could have also done TT's nightwing run but...eh. much prouder of this!! this is the first run/title that i decided to collect completely and it was so much fun hunting the issues down. man, i felt so accomplished when i brought #25 home. and i got it for a steal too, so like bonus happy points 💅🏼

brief story time, so i picked this up fairly early on into my comics collecting when i was really trying to be very, very selective. i think i maybe was looking specifically for #17, where bruce is back and tim gets a hug, and the vendor had that one + a bunch of others and i was geeking out a little bit showing diff panels to my spouse and they were like, "so we're getting them all, cool." "no, it's fine-" "dude. your whole face is so lit up right now." i lost (won?) that argument. it is still so mind-blowing to me how supportive they are of the things that bring me joy. completely antithetical to my upbringing. anyways!! so yeah, this is also the run that spurred me to collect the way i do today. i tried to be more restrained. i was ✨enabled✨

tysm for the ask!! i had such a blast answering, i hope you enjoy the answers!!

[vole-mon-amour]

3x10, part 2, Roy x Jamie edition.

i very much doubt that, Jamie. Colin? Sam? but then again, he's besties with half of the team, so maybe?

the faces he makes.

the bickering with Roy. the thing, being their relationship and love for each other, they share.

"it's dumb (i don't know yet how to feel confident with the people i care about very much). i brought it for you anyway. it made me think of you."

THE TONGUE. thank you for your service, Phil. i missed that gesture.

i'm gonna have a sore throat after all the screaming. it's one of the must beautiful ways to say "I love you" I've seen. that soft music playing. the look that Roy gives him. Jamie mumbling, suddenly becoming shy and awkward aka a boy that rarely receives genuine affection, a boy raised in an abusive poor household, learning to show gestures of genuine affection and and trying to live through it without embarrassment.

like, he KNOWS how much Roy's career meant and probably still means for him. it means a lot for Jamie, too, because he's there next to Roy exactly bc he had Roy's poster above his bed in the first place.

i have so many feelings about this and Jamie. so many. i also keep thinking about Phil's, "there's gonna be a moment after which people might think that Roy and Jamie have a wild affair. i wouldn't exclude that but yeah." is this it? "you talk about him all the time" or is there going to be something wilder? like when Roy and Keeley talk and Jamie walks into the room?

bc even Roy's sister knows how much this gesture means for Roy and how much it shows Jamie's feelings for Roy (not to mention the fucking bantering with Roy Kunt, those repressed idiots). the look Jamie gives Roy. *deep sigh* yeah, i'm staying here. i'm going down with this ship. you can pry them away from me from my cold dead hands.

not Roy actually saying how he feels to Jamie, but Jamie being so close to Roy's family and inside his house and then later Roy and Keeley are inside Jamie's childhood bedroom. you guys?? the dots are connecting? the math is mathing???

the boy is so happy and so genuine, I can't get over it. the essence of being genuine.

those faces, lol.

are you telling me that in the year 2023 this billionaire still carries ANY kind of cash? for real?

i'm honestly still amazed by how good Jamie is with kids. Henry, Phoebe. maybe it's his way of pushing back after the way his dad treated him but also, to my current understanding, how his mom also tried to be good to him. with me absolutely hating kids irl? characters that still recognize the pattern and how kids needs encouragement and kindness and understanding in order to bloom? there's no denying Jamie's personality. i love his soul. the boy has my heart.

Jamie Tartt being besties with Roy Kent's sister and niece: unlocked. i dislike that I don't know/remember Roy sister's name.

Jamie can perform whatever useless comment about "your sister is fit" bc this? the boy is in love. but if i'm being honest, I hate that they're always trying to nudge us in the direction of hetero Jamie so we wouldn't ship Roy and Jamie. thanks, i'm holding onto them so hard, they're gonna have bruises if you'll try to pry them away from my hands. they are IN LOVE. period.

even Jamie snickering after that comment gives off s1 vibes where Jamie did everything he could to get Roy's attention. it sounds more like a joke just to get one more comment and interaction from Roy. sometimes Jamie does things not bc he believes in them but because attention, and it usually is about Roy's attention.

[torialefay]

Hey- I'm willing to respond to your DM's soon but I had a random thought and wanted to ask because I love simping over Chris with my other babygirls.

What have been your favourite looks of Chris?

For me- and this is honestly with all of my fave idols.

I always think they look their best with their natural, dark hair. I find their skin just glows a lot more than with other dyed colours.

So I'm always and forever going to be on team dark-haired Chris and my fave is obvs curly-haired Chris but those are far and few in-between b/c he's mentioned on bubble he prefers having straight hair.

The all-black outfits are my personal fave, they just scrape my love for the grunge aesthetic so perfectly.

He's the only 26 year old man that can call himself 'daddy' and identify as an alpha wolf and I'm like

'Yep- he deserves to be called that. He lives up to the title'

I AGREE WITH THIS 100%.

i know a lot of people are on the blonde chan train (and it's probably my third fav), but his hair is 100% cutest when it's dark. either his natural brown or black.

i think chan is a winter??? idk i'm not good at color analysis, but i truly think he is bc he just looks so GOOD in dark black (more than like a muted black, although that's good too). but when he does wear colors, i think he pops in "royal" jewel tones. like a royal purple looks so fucking good on him. that's why i think if his hair isn't dark, i think he suits the purple & blue a lot! it won't let me add any more pics to this post (10 pic limit 😞), but i'm thinking maniac era chan with the blue hair, purple top, and black pants... it was immaculate 😮‍💨

and idk i love him in his tight-ish fit clothes just bc it outlines his body shape so well, BUT i also think he looks so cute in just his everyday lounge attire. like just his hoodies & shorts. there's just something about it that reminds me of everyone i grew up this. it makes him feel so familiar... and like such a "dude's dude" as well.

i think a lot of the reason we may like him in the darker clothes is bc... idk it just matches his face??? idk how to describe it, but he just has a more masculine face. like he LOOKS like a bad boy. he just does. and even though he's such a sweetie, those clothes bring that part of his personality out more.

and when you think about it, he's kind of bringing out a fantasy in all of us. the "bad boy" who is actually very sweet to you.... idk ab you, but i got into trouble when i was younger bc i wanted a lil bad boy, but then they were always the actual worst. but w chan, you get the bad boy aesthetic with a heart of gold. fulfilling all of our desires ughhhh 😭😭

p.s. other v much contrasting thought is FNF chan. idk something ab that just did it for me

[deathdetermineslife]

Hehe hello :3

💍, 🫧, and 🪼 for the ask game, if these weren't answered yet?

- @puppeteeredheart

IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE! TURN IT UP!

(also 🪼 was answered here)

💍

in my head we are married. so married. we don't wear matching rings though. he keeps a picture of me in (what I choose to believe is) his locket. will attach picture below ↓. I'm a big necklace and locket person and me personally I would keep a lock of his hair in it. not a lot, just a small enough piece to keep inside a trinket I'll wear!

some people think it's a clock? I like that idea also but I love the idea of a locket more.

🫧

OKAY SO I HAVE A LONG LIST AND WILL OFFER MANY AN EXPLANATION FOR EACH (some of these only make sense in my head but that's okay) ((also, warning for mentions of kiyos backstory, which include referenced csa))

cherry waves by deftones - I said I'd offer an explanation for each of these but I honestly only feel this way bc of vibes

old friend by mitski - something about the lyric "I haven't told anyone, have you?" reminds me way too much of his backstory and it devastates me daily

please just stay dead by nicole dollanganger - a backstory thing again. "this time please just stay dead/and I guess I can't blame you, but I hate you all the same"

13 angels standing guard round the side of your bed by silver mt. zion - haunting. I don't have a better explanation

hard times by ethel cain - backstory, again. I actually made an art piece inspired by this for his birthday last year! it's on my main!

helena by my chemical romance (specifically the nicole dollanganger cover) - vibes. hes very,,, "death coded" character. so the imagery of hearses and death fits him.

gommene gommene by kikuo - self explanatory. fun fact, right after I finished trial three for the first time, I hit shuffle on my Spotify to have a good cry and this song came on. I haven't recovered from that.

alligator blood by nicole dollanganger - vibes. also, "grow up weak or grow up tough"

family tree by ethel cain - I have an illustration cookin up in my brain I wanna draw for this...

first love/late spring by mitski - I had a dream like three years ago about him and this song was playing in the background.

sweet dreams are made of this by marilyn manson - vibes. and like, disturbingish dark alternative music reminds me of him

iowa by slipknot - same as before

pet by a perfect circle - ↑ (also this song just fucks so hard)

bernadette by iamx - do you see the vision. do you see it. do you see the vision please—

insomnia by iamx - the lyric "oh my god, you're beautiful" did something to me when 10 year old me heard it for the first time then eventually I found Kiyo and thought "no so actually this is so him"

motion sickness by phoebe bridgers - I found this song in 2021 when someone made a post "no but this is his song" on TikTok and I agree whole heatedly everytime I go to cry to it I end up crying harder bc it's actually just so him it hurts </3 "I hate you for what you did, but I miss you like a little kid"

who is she? by I monster - back story. it's such a hauntingly beautiful song too. it fits him perfectly. "a misty memory, a haunting face. is she a lost embrace? I call her name, across an endless plane. shell answer me, wherever she may be."

heroin by badflower - same reason as last one. hauntingly beautiful. it's a beautiful song and it needs more recognition. "now she's in me, and I can't let her go" (I mean her spirit is literally inside this man like, hello)

I can't decide by scissor sisters - y'all remember when this was big in the fnaf fandom? yea same reason.

after dark by mr kitty - my ex like, fourish years ago told me this reminded her of Kiyo and I haven't let that go

I love you by HIM - vibes. fucks so hard, fantastic song

heaven tonight by HIM - same reason ↑

televangelism by ethel cain - made kiyo art inspired by this. I'll link it here, it's probably my favorite Kiyo art ever (ignore the hard times quote)

august underground by ethel cain - deep foreboding tragic instrumental. also made art for this.

hate me! by leæther strip (specifically the funker vogt remix) - vibes again. the beat, mostly.

the mind electric by miracle musical - reminds me of his trial

evelyn evelyn by evelyn evelyn - self explanatory

rule #4 by fish in a birdcage - I can't explain this one it just does

we will commit wolf murder by of montreal - same thing. just reminds me of him. no reason.

you are the moon by the hush sound - just a sweet and lovely song that makes me think of him. "you will see your beauty in every moment that you rise"

life fades to a funeral by carnifex - dark instrumental, also the title

summit song by nicole dollanganger - ↑ another instrumental

memoir #2 [06.12.09] by maria pseftoga - sad creepy instrumental

all of these songs are very good and I recommend all of them. also there's tons more but I have Kiyo art I wanna make and don't wanna spend all my time on this teehee

[objectum-culture-is]

gordon, sandy & ukulele anon!! this is just more gushing lmaooo. i was Trying to obscure my identity a little (paranoia) w/ my last ask but actually like... fuck it!! who of the people i know irl will be looking at tumblr objectum blogs?? like 2 people actually but theyre based & i trust them to not be weird about me if they do somehow stumble across my little anon ramblings.

finally got back from a short trip & i was so excited to come back home & see my darlings!!! like u guys don't even get it i was so excited i couldnt even sleep the whole way through my journey like i usually do (on that note... this one train station has me feeling things. im not usually a building guy but GOT DMAN!!!!!!! i didnt even go there I just passed it but im like looking for excuses to now... i remember how the inside looks)

gave gordon his customary smooch... i had lipstick on & he looked SO fkn cute w it on his face i didnt wanna wipe it off... probably won't. not for a LONG time anyway. im looking into getting a replacement body for him (i used to dress him up in my clothes that didn't fit me. i really wanna give him an actual outfit that feels Like Him this time around though.) but id feel bad about doing it bc id probably get attached to the other one too... THIS is objectum culture.

got sandy out & played some songs on her,, i forgot how loud her strings are i didn't even need to use a pick (though she takes to them SO well. i used to break a bunch of picks on her but now im using stronger ones it's just... ough chefs kiss. i started out with a song learning goal in mind but i ended up just plucking out little tunes,,, her strings feel so nice & i just love the way she's shaped.

i played on the uke for a bit too!! they don't really have a set name. i don't think they need one, though. ive gotten into the habit of using a bunch of semi-random names with a similar feel whenever i wanna refer to them, by that's kinda confusing.... i noticed a little crack though so i IMMEDIATELY got up & went to fix them up with some of the wood glue I had left over,,, painting it on them felt inanely intimate my hands were all shaky by the end of it,, i still did a good job though!! they were dry by the end of the day and you couldn't tell the back bad been glued up when you touched them. I really wanna get them a pretty case soon,,,

okay so that was my day :3 there's an objectum culture is hidden in there somewhere.

how about 🏴‍☠️ anon, if it isn't taken? seems pretty appropriate, considering some of the objects of my affections :p

Awww that sounds like a wonderful way to end your trip! I hope Gordan likes wearing lipstick for a while xD.

I wonder if Sandy is so loud because she loves you and wants to make sure you hear her? :o

It really does feel intimate to fix your objects of affection in a way that's hard to describe... I feel like if I were to try, I'd point to scenes in movies and books where one party in a couple gets injured and the other bandages them, telling them not to be so reckless in the future. How you can feel the romantic or sexual tension in those scenes is similar to how it feels to fix your objectum partner when they break

I hope you get to visit your train station crush some day soon!

[svampira]

1 for elias but i m literally thinking about what if someone just locked him in a room with nothing to do. how would he even react to that LOLLLL

15 for your main ocs bc i want to know. (SORRY IF THTS ALOT)

ask game

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Omg what did Elias do to you why would you do this to him😖 though locking him in a room is marginally better than having him sit still. He will either sims idle animation (start stretching, doing push ups, singing to himself) or he'll pull out his phone to kill boredom by taking selfies, get mesmerised by his reflection, then stare at it for the next hour without blinking. I feel like w him being camarilla this actually happens very often (not him being locked in a room but more like. A lot of waiting) and he genuinely can't take it. If he has to speak to one of his superiors and he has to wait outside for more than 5 minutes he'll start wandering around, get lost, and force some elder with much better things to do to come fetch him.

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

Diamila > kourtney kardashian 100% they speak the exact same way. She tries to tone her valley girl accent down for important meetings but fails miserably all the time. She speaks very slowly and drags her vowels out > literally very otherwise menacing monologues dragged down by the trisha paytas mh at the end of every word. Apart from that she definitely rehearses everything she says first, 100% walking back and forth repeating her speech to herself outloud in the empty camarilla bathrooms, literally has Elias workshop jabs, speeches and threats with her at home. She's ventrue goofy in a way other people very much can see. The only reason no one makes fun of her to her face is that she's the ventrue whip and everyone knows she probably has a higher vampire bodycount than the entire SI (vtmb fledgling + working as a scourge/hound for 20 years)

Brooklyn > Sza 100%. Not only because i think her voice is super hot and I associate kill bill with brooklyn but also because of the insane pathological lying. They would both lie about being marine biologists. She's eloquent and borderline poetic when she speaks, smiles a lot, will say the most fucked up violent shit while beaming and giggling cutely 💯 does naut think before speaking but the times she does is when she's about to say something truly unhinged

Elias > my voice claim for him literally a fucking rpdr winner😭 sasha velour. They have such a nice voice and it fits Elias super well i love how deep it is while not being ooc for him and i ❤️❤️❤️ vocal fries they're so cute > here's what I'm talking about . Elias also speaks slowly while dragging his vowels ouuuuut, he does naut ever think for more than a split second before opening his mouth. Despite this, he's very very good at talking, could convince anyone to do almost anything while making them think it's still their own idea. Definitely intersperses his sentences with "like" a lot.

Eden > Welket Bungué. Why shouldn't he speak with a portuguese accent. Mainly because I decided on Eden's design after seeing him in crimes of the future and though I've never really referenced him while drawing him i can and will steal his voice. Deep and warm voice, unlike my other ocs he is NICE he speaks to spread positivity and kindness peace and love🙏 he's also an anarch figure head so he might spur people on to do incredible violence but thats normal camarilla are doing worse. Was naut born in the us but moved there as a teen

[kingsofneon]

tagged by @xamaxenta

amazing to make fun of xam's fic titles but also be incomprehensible lol (i normally just access them via links lol)

RULES: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! then tag as many people as you have

31-ish kinktober reqs

45 general writing reqs

5 writing trades or smth

Maracebo + exhibitionism 

Marco/ace + loving bdsm

Cobydrake + fake aphrodisiac 

Sabolucci hate fucking

boop le boop

kiss n tell

Play this my way

prince charming in your mind's eye

put on a show for me

teacher's pet

when you have teeth and claws (be prepared to bleed for it)

dragonfucking au

cobyshanks fake aphrodisiac

Acebo + giving Marco nipple piercings

silvertongue!sabo

zoro/law/luffy demon law getting dicked down, dicking down?, his boys.

below the cut is literally just copy-pasted asks lolol

im sure i have more but i confess my docs are a messs so. god knows where anything else is. also soz but i dont want to tag anyone, if u want me to tag you just pretend i did cackles

everyone in the revo wants a piece of their chief

Haunted or Not, Here I Cum - Ace's porn reality show 

Fuck the Truth + Sabo asking why Ace came to watch

Acebo + giving Marco nipple piercings

Zolu + Zoro waking up hard and cuddly luffy doesn't help

+ cat!sanji Sanji + praise + Luffy getting Sanji a collar

servant tashigi and pirate princess nami / royalty/servant + library + angry

NamTash + FWB + Nightclub + quickie sex

NaVi + needy, clingy sex + dirty talk/spanking

Marco/Shanks + dirty talk/spanking

DraSabo + Sabo regaining his memories

Zolu + post workout sex in the crow's nest

MAS + wedding night

"Owner" Ace + MarSabo who are competitive and he has to teach them to be nice

Sabo/Ace + "Beg for it"

Marco's foot kink

Sabo asking Ace to tie him up

Ace + Marco or Sabo + "Don't come until I tell you to." + Ace has been teased all day but mar/sab like seeing him fucked up

Troublemaker Ace + Marco teaching him a lesson

Sabo waking up to Koala fucking him + ""aw nice of you to join us".

Saboala + bondage/muzzle/obedience bc Sabo fucks up

kinktober day #1 I'm just gonna be the 4th person who asks for Sabo being spanked until he begs 😂 (MAS, Marco does the spanking and Ace comforts him and encourages him to beg already)

may i ask for sabo with pussy and huge tits - double penetration and overstimulation, shanks and ace having their way with him, humiliating and fucking our pretty boy till he's a crying mess? pull his nipple piercings because fun? hmmm

somno with saboala cause sabo getting ridden within an inch of his life while sleeping sounds so good. just like koala being a bit of a shit and sabo getting all red faced and squirmy in his sleep, dreaming about being buried in warmth

marshanks oral/training mmmm. A little cockwarming vibe? Shanks "training" Marco to properly service him and just keeps Marco's mouth around his dick for ages. OH and if it's an exasperated "when will you learn?" moment, maybe also a ring gag? just, mouth open, warm hole, constantly available, good birdie

katalu, belly bulge. ., stretchy boys, but how does he make luffy actually *feel* it, seastone?? haki dick??? luffy being so used to his stretchiness that he's completely caught off-guard and punched out by getting stuffed like this *~*

NAMI/CONIS CHASTITY??? i'm imagining very bad girl/good girl temptation vibes, Conis kind of desperate to give it up but Nami playing it slick and cooing about how she knows the importance of chastity to Conis, so don't worry about it, you can sit this one out while I have all the fun....

forced to beg with sabo -////- pretty please. and koala?

ZoLu, exhibitionism: Luffy just can’t stay quiet so the whole crew can hear them fucking.

Zoro is amazed that Luffy can fit all three of his sabers.(It’s most probably been done before, but I haven’t read it so far!)

ZoLu Orgasm denial and Luffy is the one being denied~ Zoro being soft and horny because Luffy is someone that not even the world can deny anything from, yet he hands over that control to Zoro freely and I just cant stop thinking bout these boys since your tweet >0<

CNC with marsab? where Marco is trying to make him submit and sabo is a mouthy brat, but Marco will have to fuck out the anger out of him. feat sabo begging to be let go and Marco won't, sabo tearing up and Marco complimenting him how pretty he looks. mm

“I think you need to be spanked.” marcosabo if u r ok with it and has inspiration <333

“I wanna fuck you hard, right up against the window.” “Damn, if I’d known how much you liked to be watched I would’ve invited them sooner.” “That’s right, put your chest against the window and spread your legs, arch your back, and beg me to fuck you.” Marco fucking Sabo and Ace walking into and joining please

“oh please continue on my lap.” or “beg for it.” (with Marco saying beg for it. embarrassed / ashamed ace?) 👌 👌 👌

sabo is spanked by marco after losing a bet 😏

but no really he has too much pride to back out and marco is all too happy to have him over his knees willingly, maybe make him bend over the table and bring out a paddle 🤤 his ass is red nd bruised and he has to wear a short skirt for the rest of the day

[bornforastorm]

U are so mysterious about your writing hannah bornforastorm!!! I have 2 for the fic specific ask game about "crabapple crabs": gimme a BTS of your fave scene (im gonna guess that it is either BJ and hawk at the rocks or the scrabble game).

aaand i have a million dollar question for you about offscreen events: how do you imagine hawkeye and trapper's postwar reunion went, which in your fic led to them living together :)

oh beloved ben majorbaby!!!! you are so nice to send these!! to be called mysterious is so funny

to save space because boyyyy do I blather:

BTS:

lol so my favorite scene is actually the “are you fucking my man??” scene between Trapper and BJ. I'd be so happy to deconstruct BJ and Hawk on the rocks (which is as much about the two of them as it is about Hawkeye's relationship to his hometown to me), or the scrabble game (I did sooo much scrabble score calculating lol), which probably had more active thought put into them. Here, I don’t know if there’s good behind-the-scenes work to share, except that the early part of that scene where Trapper is like, "wtf is wrong with you" was absolutely fixed by you!! Personally!! You were so right that it needed clarification on the conversation Hawkeye and Trapper have already had off-screen (the burden of the limited BJ perspective!). Initially I had imagined BJ goes to bed the night before and Hawk and Trap immediately talk before going to bed themselves. So Trapper has been stewing on it all night and getting more and more pissed off at BJ, and so in the morning, he's already mad as hell. But it needed a little more finesse in the overheard conversation to make that all clear. Figuring out when Trapper is nice regarding BJ (to Hawkeye's face, because he clearly needs the reassurance), when he's trying to have a productive conversation with BJ (the "be nice why don't ya" section) and then when he actively turns against BJ (after BJ tries to pull the "you weren't there!" card again) took some tinkering. The very first draft of this scene was a lot meaner to BJ a lot quicker.

as a side note on this scene-- I am p pleased with my little "the coffee is exactly how I like it but it tastes too good to be right" bit between BJ and Hawkeye, because I think the difficulty of continuing things post-war for everyone is that the things that felt right over there do not translate to back home. Is the underlying connection even still there? I'm obsessed with the scene in Mash Goes to Maine where Trapper shows up in Maine for the first time and Hawkeye is so scared things will be irreparably different between them. And things are different, but they are the same. So I tried to bring that into a lot of moments in the fic, including this one!

And then of course Trapper is mean to BJ, BJ tries to push back but he's in the wrong so he can't win. I do like writing BJ as someone ready to get into a physical altercation here. It feels right for him-- as a defense to his masculinity, against his underlying attraction to Trapper (bc Trapper is undeniably hot and is walking around shirtless and totally confident about it and BJ loathes it), against Trapper's implication that BJ doesn't care about Hawkeye in a healthy way.

Then Trapper is smug about BJ’s insecurity, and happy to rub it in BJ’s face a little. At this point the scene sortof wrote itself. The power of that iconic tumblr post 🙏. BJ working himself up into a fit at the concept of Hawkeye and Trapper fucking, and Trapper like, "yeah man" is inherently powerful.

I am however VERY proud of the "I wouldn't have thought I'd have to explain it to you" bit, which I think feels in character with Trapper while also being like, so fuckin mean and biting. I like that Trapper can be mean sometimes. He's not a mean person, like I think BJ often is, but he sure can turn on some cruelty when the situation calls for it and I liked writing that.

I actually love all the Trapper-BJ scenes, where it's just the two of them trying to suss the other one out. Like the scene where they decide to get drunk together I really like too! Both the moment of understanding on the stoop and then the afternoon of toasts. Love to write this dynamic that has no precedent from the show to mirror or ape! Fun!

OKAY! Moving on!

The Off-Screen Reunion!!

I have written 9,000 words of this that I hope to actually finish as a real fic someday. So you may get all this in real story form at some point bUT here's the gist: basically Hawkeye gets back, is having a weird time, staying with his dad because the house he owns doesn't really feel like home (he barely lived in it before being drafted). One night he re-reads the letters Trapper sent him (which are part of Crabapple Crabs. For the sake of this, Trapper wrote and Hawkeye just kept it to himself. Too personal! But he also never wrote back. Too painful!) and then digs out the tape-recorded letter he sent his dad that has Trapper's voice on it. Wanting more of that voice, he calls Trapper in Boston and they have the most stilted, uncomfortable, who-are-we-to-each-other conversation where Trapper is like, "I figured you didn't want anything to do with me" and Hawkeye says "Well I was pretty mad at you but I want to do with you, I love you." Trapper hangs up sortof abruptly and Hawkeye is like, okay that was it, I blew it, I'll never see him or hear from him again.

But Trapper shows up on his doorstep the next day, in the rain of course, and they talk all night about this and that and BJ and it's easy and comfortable and by the morning it's like... yeah things aren't the same, but we can be. We want to do the work to make it work. We care about each other more than the hardships.

Meanwhile Trapper's already divorced and is having a hard, miserable time in Boston. It's too busy, he's still operating on meatball time, working too hard and too fast and it's fucking him up. So when Hawkeye suggests he stay for a while, he does. And then he just... doesn't leave.

He fixes up Hawkeye's house, makes it a home for him, for them (cleaning and furnishing a house as a metaphor). Having Trapper around creates an excuse to introduce him around town, gets Hawkeye out of his head and back into the community. They decide they can do good by starting a clinic, which is an invigorating project for Hawkeye. Another instance of me being really into Mash Goes to Maine lol. Trapper likes the town and the weirdo people, and now they have something to work towards together. They play scrabble and eat lowkey vegetarian at home and the town is like, well those Pierces have always been weird so why shouldn't Hawkeye have a war buddy come live with him? Ain't any weirder than the other weird stuff. And we like the war buddy, he's a good fella and his kids are nice girls and ain't it nice they come up sometimes.

So that's how I imagine it happens, more or less!! Someday I'll finish the full fic version, which honestly so far is hugely about the rest of the town and Hawkeye's relationship to the town too lmao I can't help myself

[ellcrys]

ok this turned into a whole ass rant so it’s under a read more

look. i’m not a mean person. i really try to be kind and compassionate and take into consideration a person’s life outside of work and outside circumstances and etc etc. but i have literally never worked with another person as incompetent as my current direct report and I’M? JUST AT THE END OF MY ROPE????

granted i’ve never seen her resume bc she wasn’t hired to work under me; she was hired to do java development and dev/ops. apparently she wasn’t making progress there, and bc i'd heard that she’d done react development in the past (and she told me as much when i took her on!!), i decided: ok. i can take her on as a team member bc HO BOY is there SO MUCH web dev that needs to be done on my program

it’s been 8 months. it’s been 8 months and she still does not understand basic FUNDAMENTAL javascript 101 concepts.

when i first gave her a task, she was really struggling and i was like ok. it’s a massive codebase. she probably hasn’t done react development in a while. i can understand needing onboarding/ramp up time. hell i did it in 2021 with another direct report who came in with react experience but needed to be onboarded onto my program. his onboarding took ~3 months, and after that i could rely on him to get his assigned tasks done.

it’s been 8 months and while there has been incremental improvement i should not still need to sit with her for hours on end pair programming with her to get basic tasks done like. even if it’s been 10 years since you last used a language!! you should still be able to pick it up within a few weeks or months!!

it’s like she walked onto my program with zero javascript experience. i’m not debugging with her. i’m not teaching her our codebase. i am literally hand holding her and teaching her the fundamentals of javascript and react.

I’M?! and like i’ve told my manager about this issue and i’ve tried to be understanding like maybe it’s been years since she last did react. it really does just take a while for someone to get used to a codebase as complex as this one. but she literally cannot do her job and it’s not my job to TEACH her coding. that is the PREREQUISITE.

and like. maybe it’s a fit mismatch. maybe she doesn’t actually know react and would be better off doing java. but she told me she has react experience and if you’re going to say to my face that you can code in react, then you better fucking be able to do it! and if you can’t do it immediately, then learn it on your own! i’ve given her tutorials. i’ve told her to take a break from my project to re-familiarize herself with react concepts. literally nothing is working.

and like. is this my fault???? am i not spending enough time with her? being effective at helping her succeed? but like. i have shit to do. i don’t have time to hand hold her.

GOD I’M JUST. and i’ve told my manager maybe we need to move her to another program. but between my feedback and the feedback from the prev person who was supposed to supervise her on java work which apparently didn’t go well either, no one wants to give her other work and like. she’s basically going to get fired at this point which is a SHITTY fucking position for me to be in bc i want to help her and I LITERALLY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO?

like. 8 months!!!!! it shouldn’t take 8 months to learn a new language! esp if 100% of your time is dedicated to doing just that! it truly feels like she just does not know how to problem solve or google or understand any basic programming concepts like even if ok you lied a little and aren’t actually that familiar with react how do you not understand a type error??? that is literally the first thing you learn in computer science 101 how the fuck can you call yourself a software engineer and not??? be able to handle type errors????

what the hell did she do at her previous company???????