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runningincircl3s · 18 days ago

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Nothing Ever After

Noah Sebastian x Reader x Vinny Mauro

Chapter Thirteen

chapter warnings: tiny smut warning? it's nothing too graphic at all!

i guess this is a filler chapter? it's just chaotic and fun! happy monday bffs :)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“No, I’m totally convinced y/n and Vin are gonna get together after this tour- if they haven't already- I mean, have you seen the way she looks at him?” Justin said, taking a sip of his water. The guys were getting ready to set up at the next venue, most of them gathered in a group in the parking lot. “And catching them the other day just proves my point.”

“Wait, what?” Noah questioned, trying to conceal the way his blood was beginning to boil at the thought of you and Vinny. He had noticed how the two of you had suddenly grown closer, but surely Justin had got it all wrong. You and Vinny were just friends, right?

“I went to get changed after the show yesterday and there they were in the dressing room, all over each other.”

“What do you mean?” Folio laughed nervously, noticing the change in Noah's expression.

“I mean he had her pinned against the wall.” Justin chuckled, “I’m totally here for it, I think they’re cute together.”

“Yeah, a perfect couple.” Noah mumbles, crossing his arms. “Hey, where are they?”

“Vin’s taking a nap.” Ricky says defensively, “Why?”

“I just need to ask him about uh… Something... real quick.” Noah says as he marches towards the bus.

The bus was silent, which wasn’t exactly calming his nerves. However, as he approached the bunks, he realised Ricky was right. There he was, asleep, with you nowhere to be seen.

“See, I told you he was asleep.” Ricky says, looking up as he watches Noah dart from one bus to the other.

“Y/n?” He calls out, and you turn your head away from your laptop.

“Hey, what’s up?”

You watch as Noah messes with the buttons at the front of the bus.

“How the hell do you lock this thing- Oh!” He presses a button and the doors make a clicking sound, and you assume he found the lock button.

“Noah, what’s going on?” You ask, setting your laptop down as you get up, feeling slightly worried.

“Tell me you’re mine.”

“Excuse me?” You ask, slightly taken back.

His large hand comes to cup your face, his eyes darkening as they meet yours.

“Tell me. You’re mine.”

“Noah…”

His eyes were darker than you’ve ever seen them and the grip he had on your face was tightening, you had to bite your lip to suppress the whimper that wanted to slip from your mouth. You swallowed hard, feeling your breath becoming heavier and a dull ache between your thighs.

“I won’t ask again.” He warned, pushing you against the wall, his leg slipping between yours.

“I’m yours, Noah.” You tell him, looking up at him through your lashes as he squishes your face in his hand, a proud yet devilish smile on his face.

“Good girl,” he whispered, finally leaning down to capture your lips with his, “You’re all mine.”

“Yours,” you whimper between kisses, your hand sliding down his body as you begin to palm his cock over his joggers.

Outside, the guys are still talking as Vinny gets off the bus, wearing a pair of sunglasses he received from a fan at one of the shows. As he joins the others, they all look between each other, waiting for somebody to speak first.

“You okay, Vin?” Ricky chuckles, watching as Vinny shakes his head.

“No my fucking head hurts, and it’s so bright out here. I thought by having a nap my headache would go away but it feels even worse.” He groans.

“Want some aspirin?” Matt asks, “I’ve got some on the bus.”

“Can I?” He asks, pulling his hood over his head. “I’d appreciate that.”

Matt nods, walking over to the bus, attempting to open the door but failing.

“Shit, it must have locked itself again, Noah’s got the keys.” He groaned, knocking on the door, “Can someone unlock the door please?” He shouted.

Noah suddenly pulled away. He had you against the wall of the bus, your legs wrapped around his waist as he pounded into you. You were tugging on his hair as he attacked your neck with his mouth, but the banging on the door made the both of you jump, quickly rushing to throw your hoodie and shorts back on, and Noah pulled his boxers and joggers back up, trying to catch his breath as he fixed his hair, rushing over to the door.

“One second!” He shouted, trying to find the button to unlock the bus. “Which one is it?” He was trying to buy you time as you rushed back to your bunk, grabbing your laptop on the way. “Wait, I got it!”

As Noah pressed the button, the door opened and Matt sighed, walking up the steps and on to the bus.

“I told our driver the doors fucked, I got locked out the other day when I come back to- Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah… why?” Noah questioned.

“You look a little flustered,” he began to smile, “Is y/n here?”

“Yeah, she’s working in her bunk, why?”

“Why all the questions, Noah?” He teased, walking over to where his bag was, digging through it to find the aspirin for Vin. “Next time you want to fuck on the bus, don’t leave your panties on the floor.” He says, looking between you and Noah.

“What? We weren’t-”

“It’s okay! I won’t tell the others, but you could’ve waited until tomorrow when we’ve got our own rooms, for the love of god!”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You have officially been on tour for a month now, and it has been the best time of your life. You had met so many new people and had opportunities you never would have expected before. You were invited to do an interview backstage at a festival that the guys were playing at for a couple days, answering questions about how you got the role of touring photographer. You didn’t want to tell them it was because you were friends with Bryan, so you explained how you did a photography club in school, and how it had led you here.

Matt warned you that if the questions started to get too personal then to not answer them, and there was one particular question that pissed you off.

“So, some Bad Omens fans have taken to social media and have speculated that you’re dating Noah Sebastian. Can you tell us anything about that?”

You let out a laugh at how ridiculous that was.

“No. There’s nothing to tell, my private life is exactly that- private. Whether we were dating or not is nobody’s business, but to the twelve year olds and stalkers out there, no. I’m not dating your parasocial boyfriend.”

“Well that told them!” The interviewer chuckled nervously, “and Bad Omens are touring with Motionless in White right now, can you tell us any backstage secrets or gossip you might have heard from either bands?”

“Vinny Mauro loves mayo!” You smiled mischievously, “Any fans that see him about on the streets, meet him in VIP, or even send gifts to him, give him mayo! He’ll be so thankful! And also, Jolly snores!”

“Well, we would’ve never known that if it weren’t for you! Thank you, y/n! We hope to see you here again next year!”

“Thank you for having me.” You smiled and the interview finished.

“Why the fuck would you say that?” You heard someone groan as you began to leave, and you turned to see Vin standing by watching. .

“How long have you been there?”

“Since Bryan told me you had an interview.” He smiled, “Why the hell did you tell them I like mayo?”

“Because you don’t.” You smirked.

“It’s all I’m ever gonna get sent now, just you wait, y/n y/l/n, I will get my revenge!”

“Yeah, I’d like to see you try.” You stuck your tongue out as you walked past him, before turning back to look at him, “How long until you’re on.”

“Oh it’s hours away, why?”

“Because in 15 minutes Rain City Drive are playing their set and I don’t want to go by myself.”

“You don’t want to go by yourself?” He laughed, before giving in, “Fine, I'll come with you. What stage are they playing?”

You dragged Vinny with you to watch Rain City Drive play their new album, and although he told you he’s not heard any of these songs before, you were happy to see he seemed to like them.

“What’s this one?” He asked as you were dancing along to one song in particular.

“Medicate me!” You told him, taking his hands as you continue to bounce around, “What do you think?”

“I like this one.” He smiled.

"I thought you would... I'm going to go back to my room tonight and make you a playlist of songs I think you'd like." You smiled

"I'd like that," he said, "I'll make one for you too... Hey, do you wanna see Loathe with me after this? They're playing on a different stage so I think we could just about make it before I have to get ready to go on."

"Sure!"

I know you're leaving and I tell myself I'm over your love

Hard to believe it when I taste you on the tip of my tongue

You continued to sing along, dancing beside Vinny who just looked happy to be here.

“Oh my God... It can't be... Vinny?!” You hear someone shout from behind you, and a little group of fans all spoke with him and asked Vin for a picture.

“Are you the new photographer for Bad Omens, y/n?” One of the people asked you.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t say I’m their photographer because that’ll always be Bryan, but I’ve been touring with them.”

“The picture you posted of Noah and Ricky together has been my lock screen for like two weeks now, look! I have your notifications on so I know when you post and I always get so excited!” They told you, warming your heart as they showed you their wallpaper on their phone.

“Well Motionless in White’s photographer couldn’t be here today so I’ll be filling in for him, so you can expect some more pictures in a couple days.”

“Oh my god! Please get some more of Ricky!” They begged.

“I’ll try my best,” you chuckled, “Are you gonna be there for their set?”

“Of course! Why would I miss it?” They grinned, and their friends started to walk off. “It was great to meet you!”

“You too!” You smiled, waving as they walked off. “Wow,” you said to Vinny, “that’s the first time someone’s ever come up to me.”

“You better get used to it.” He laughed.

As their singer Matt thanked everybody for showing love on their new album they announced they were going to sing one last song, and as much as you would've loved to stay for it, Vinny wanted to go and see Loathe on another stage so you watched him put his sunglasses back on before taking your hand and finding the way to the other stage.

You told yourself he was only holding your hand so you didn't lose each other in the sea of people, but you couldn't help but feel warm inside at the feeling of his skin on yours.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

For the first time in weeks, you were back on stage with Motionless in White, taking pictures of each member, the stage as a whole, and some of the crowd. You had been Bad Omens' photographer last night so that Bryan could watch one of his favourite bands perform, and when Chris asked if you could fill in for their photographer tonight you didn't hesitate to say yes. You were always in awe of these guys when they were on stage, but there was something different about their energy this time, even after a month on the road they were still giving it their all.

You kept finding yourself watching Vinny in particular, he was in his own world behind his drum kit, and it took your breath away. You caught yourself staring, and took your camera over with you to get a shot of him from the side, and as you look back at the pictures, you realise there was a slight smirk on his face.

“You guys were awesome!” You cheer as they walk backstage to where you had been briefly waiting as they threw out guitar picks, setlists, drumsticks, and anything else they could think of.

“I can’t believe I fell again.” Rick sighed, picking up a bottle of water.

“You did?” You laugh, you must have completely missed it, clearly your attention was elsewhere throughout the show.

“You didn’t see?” Ryan laughed, “He was there one minute then he was gone! I thought he’d gone off stage until I watched him get back up.”

“Well it’s totally fucked my back.” Ricky groaned.

“Someone get the old man some ice!” Chris joked, earning a glare off Rick.

You waited as the guys all got changed, and you walked with Ricky and Vinny back to the bus.

“Update,” Vinny pointed at the camera, “We just got done playing to like… three hundred million people, it was fucking awesome!” He claps, thinking of something else to say, “Y/n took some hot pictures of me, Rick fell off the stage-”

“I didn’t fall off the stage,” Ricky interrupted, turning the camera to his face, “I misjudged where the platform was.”

“Rick fell off the stage.” Vinny repeated, “And now we’re about to go play some Mario kart.”

“Y/n do you have anything to add?” Rick pointed the camera at you.

“Motionless in White rock,” you said proudly, “It was great to…” You trailed off as your phone vibrated, and you saw it was a text from Noah, who should've currently been on stage with Poppy.

“Just got off stage. Where are you?”

“I need you so fucking bad”

You froze, forgetting about the camera pointed at you.

During the weeks you’d been touring, you and Noah had managed to keep your ‘relationship’ private, meaning only Angela, Vin, Folio and Matt knew what you were up to. You’d use each other for stress relief more than anything, or when Bad Omens would finish a show the two of you would go missing for twenty minutes because the adrenaline that was pumping through Noah’s veins would quickly switch to horniness- to put it bluntly- and he needed a release.

However, you’d be lying if you said Noah was the only thing on your mind as he’d have you pushed up against the wall, or on a table, pounding into you from behind. Your mind would often bring you back to how Vinny was when you were together that night, and how you longed to have him again, but he made it clear the two of you were strictly just friends, or so you assumed. You didn't mind this, you loved Vinny and were happy that you and him could still get along so well after everything. But there was still a part of you that wished the circumstances were different, especially when you'd get jealous seeing him flirting with other women, or how you'd hold back tears when he'd bring someone back to his hotel room or when you'd be on the bus and look over at him and just wished you could kiss him.

You weren't going to reply to Noah, you’d told the other guys you’d go back with them and play Mario kart, but you could still feel an ache between your thighs that had been there since you watched Vinny during slaughterhouse. Your knees weakened every time it got to a certain part in that song, but something was different about today.

“I’ll be 10 minutes.” You replied to Noah, and suddenly brought your hand up to your head.

“Fuck, I think I’m getting a headache, I think I need to lay down, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” You say, quickly turning around and heading towards the Bad Omens trailer.

Ricky and Vinny look at each other as you walk away.

“That’s weird.” Rick points out, “She got a text and suddenly she's just... left?”

“Maybe she got some bad news,” Vin suggests, “I’ll check up on her later.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Wobbly on your legs, Noah handed you your clothes to get dressed as he fixed his hair in the mirror. Your time together was cut short as Noah got a call reminding him he had somewhere to be, he told you he thought he had more time but clearly he got it wrong.

"I just wish we could spend more time together." You frowned, pulling your shorts back up.

"What do you mean?" He asked, leaning against the desk in the band's trailer.

"I mean it feels like I only see you when you want something from me," you sighed, "It'd be nice to spend a day together when we're off, but you're never around. It's not that I don't like hanging out with the others, but it'd be nice for you to be about more."

"I'm sorry." He looked away from you as he shook his head slightly, "There's just a lot going on at the moment, I don't get any time to myself either. How about the next time we have a day off we spend it together, yeah?"

"I'd like that." You smile, hearing your phone ring from the desk Noah was stood at.

"It's Vinny," he said, handing you your phone, "I'll let you let yourself out, I need to get to this interview."

"Okay, see you later?"

"Of course." He gave you one last smile before heading out the door, and you quickly answered your phone.

"Hello?" You asked, wondering what Vin could want.

"Hey, I just wanted to check up on you. You left quite suddenly earlier., is everything okay?" His concern made you smile to yourself, but then you felt bad knowing what you were actually getting up to behind his back.

"Yeah, I took some painkillers and I'm feeling better now."

"Good," he smiled on the other side of the phone, "D'ya still wanna come and hang with us? Ryan's been waiting for you to kick his ass like you said you would."

"There's no backing out!" You heard Ryan shout, making you chuckle as you slipped your shoes on.

"No, I'll be there in 10. You're on the bus, right?"

"Yeah, we are. I'll look out for you."

"Thanks." You smiled, ending the call.

The walk to the guys' bus wasn't too long, but your feet were aching from standing all day, and running around the stage. You reflected on the last two days as you made your way past other bands' buses and trailers, really appreciating the opportunity that had been handed to you.

You thought about the atmosphere when Bad Omens were getting ready to go on stage the night before, how hyped Folio was and how his energy was so contagious.

Then your mind brought you back to this afternoon, you and Vinny stood watching Loathe's set whilst they played is it really you. The way he was singing along, swaying to the music and the smile on his face as he shook his head in what appeared to be embarrassment when you complimented his singing.

"No," you grinned, "I really like your singing!"

"Shut up." He couldn't hide the smirk on his face as he looked up at the stage, avoiding any eye contact with you.

"I mean it! Maybe they should get your vocals on the next album."

"I hate you." He chuckled, and you couldn't help but smile at how beautiful he looked as he blushed at your compliment.

Before you knew it, you had reached Motionless' bus. You couldn't help but find it funny this afternoon when Vin complained about Bad Omens getting a trailer when they were stuck on their bus, but Ryan explained it was probably because they were headliners.

As you were welcomed on to the bus by Justin, you dumped your bag on the table and sat down next to him. Ryan, Ricky and Vinny were all too busy playing Mario kart to even acknowledge you, and you sighed, reaching for your phone in your pocket.

"Is everything okay?" Justin asked, noticing the pissed off look on your face.

"Yeah..." You sighed, you were still upset with Noah and how abruptly he left just now, but you couldn't tell the guys that. "I'm just tired and hungry."

"It's a good job we've got plenty of snacks then." Justin smiled, reaching for the plastic bag that was on the floor beside the couch, sliding over the table to you.

"Fuck you, I quit!" Rick sighed, dropping the controller to the table as the tv screen lit up saying Ryan won the round. "You guys have to be cheating."

"You wish," Vinny laughed, reaching for his water bottle, "Y/n?" He motioned to Rick's controller and you slowly nodded your head.

"I'm gonna beat your asses."

"And if you don't?" Vin smirked.

"You really doubt me?" You raised an eyebrow, "It's on, bitch."

———————————————

i’m still not over apocalypse fest or dj vinny in the slightest so expect that to come in later chapters because i simply can’t stop thinking about it…

@rumoured-whispers @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lma1986 @thisbicc @dominuslunae @miss570 @miamore0570 @jilliemiw86 @itsyaboinoah

#noah sebastian x reader #nothing ever after <3 #vinny mauro x reader #noah sebastian fanfic #vinny mauro fanfic #bad omens fanfic #motionless in white fanfic #noah sebastian smut

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swordheld · 1 year ago

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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3 #i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai #after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where #it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.

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