#there was an old post i saw a while back about how theatre is the best medium for portraying loneliness and its like. i watched a recording

[astranauticus]

soliloquy

(edit once again i drew something with my ipad screen brightness too high and now that i've posted it nothing is visible. sad!)

[waytooobsessedwithmcyt]

Thinking about the complete different types of villainy all of the life series members have.

Pearl and Cleo are the easiest comparison, Dl!Pearl had a very manic energy, she felt a little hysterical, not always in control, just swinging her axe at whoever spoke (I could make a whole post about that because I love her so much) while Cleo always has this very calm, in control energy, their most famous villainous act, burning the fairy fort, occured with her above Lizzie and the rest.

Gem's villainy is obviously a kind of sweet manipulative evil. Not much to say on her because she speaks for herself, she kills people and makes them love her for it, it's insane how she talks to people she literally just killed and gets them to thank her. (Like Pearl, hello shiny duo shippers)

Scar is manipulative, like Gem, and desperately wants friends, like Pearl. Although he doesn't quite have the manic energy or the in control feeling of Cleo, he's remarkably good at figuring out exactly what someone wants and offering exactly that but in a way that's wrong, he's like a monkey paw

Ren is obviously an overdramatic theatre kid, he has the stage presence of an old school Disney villain, he strokes his mustache as he hangs Scar over a pool of alligators and demands the banner back. Martyn has the kind of "mastermind behind the scenes but also intensely loyal" villainy, he may be running things, but whatever his king says, goes, and he'll enforce that to the ends of the earth (gay?) the entire red army has the vibe of a wolf pack (I love wolves and I'd like a disclaimer that they rarely attack humans and are not evil) circling in on its prey (the alpha/beta ranking system has been disproven but for the purposes of this allegory I will ask you to suspend your disbelief) waiting for their alpha's command before diving in with terrifying ferocity.

Martyn in every other series is a wild card. I think I saw someone say that he was broken by Ren's death and became an unloyal person because the last person he was that devoted to brought him pain. He's driven further into insanity. His betrayal of Scott feels like a natural conclusion of this. Cleo taught him that even when the game demands that he be paired, he will not be chosen, but he still chose to abandon Pearl who would have chosen him. In secret life, he pairs with Jimmy, who he knows will die, maybe he hopes it won't hurt as much since he knows it will happen, but it does, and then he's the only red, and he's then left out of a huge sever wide event because he's exempt. I'm ranting but I'm so feral about this little dude.

Joel is cursed. Saw someone call it the Dionysus curse, he goes insane on red, he's deadly, efficient, and takes exactly the amount of joy he should, he's an intensely effective hitman who never misses a shot, and never fails to celebrate a death.

Third life Skizz is a type of unhinged, like Pearl, following the wolf pack analogy, he's the one snapping and snarling, just waiting for the release and savouring the kill. He wants to go so fucking feral, he is pure emotion

[emptymasks]

Old Web European Musical Sites

So this post started because I was looking through the waybackmachine on the Internet Archive for the old Disney Fairies site for a friend, and remembered I'd backed up some old musical related sites a couple years ago on the waybackmachine just to archive them.

Which made me remember how recently I saw someone on here, I don't remember who, asking if there were interviews either about Elisabeth das Musical or specifically with Uwe Kroger (the actor who originated the role of Der Tod/Death) in English to which someone had answered no but there are some quotes and fragments in other posts on here. Which made me remember an old website I'd found that did have interviews on and I went out to find it. After I found it, I tried to find another website I'd found that had nice old photos of Uwe on that I'd save for I'd never seen them anywhere else, but sadly can no longer find the site and I hadn't bookmarked it or archived it. But, in doing so I did find some others.

So, come along with me as I find some ye olde websites based around European Musicals and Non-English Musicals, all of which I am archiving using the waybackmachine and can be found on my archive.org account @ wennli3b3 under the 'web archives' tab on my profile.

What is old web? The aesthetics wiki describes it as "Essentially consisting of screencaps and gifs, Old Web is an aesthetic utilizing traditional web design elements combined with aspects of poetry and self-expression. This also includes GIFs, video games, and clip-art. This aesthetic expresses nostalgia for Internet culture of the early 1990s to early 2010s." Think of old GeoCities and AngelFire websites, the pre-2010s internet where it wasn't uncommon for anyone to make their own little website for anything and the internet wasn't just social media. There's just such a charm for me about these old sites and the work people put into customising and decorating their sites, often just as a fun project for themselves or a way to document things they loved. Therefore the websites we'll be looking at are from the 90s up to the late 2000s, 2010s and onwards websites don't count for this list.

What is the waybackmachine? The waybackmachine is hosted on the Internet Archive, it's a digital archive of websites that lets you visit websites as they were during the past if they've been archived there.

[Note: this post won't have clickable links because that can make Tumblr unhappy and either hide or soft-block my post, so sadly no clickable links, but I will write out the links with spaces in the hopes that won't hide the post and you will just have to type them in for yourselves, and I will link my web archive page in the replies to this post. I am also not claiming to be the first to back these sites up or discover them, some of them have already been archived in past, but doing them all under one account means you guys can have an easy list of them all in one place. Some of these sites no longer exist and are only accessible via the waybackmachine, in those cases I will save those sites to my web archive so they are all listed on one page.]

1. musicalvienna . at

Staring with a website some of you will be familiar with and while in it's current 2023 form doesn't count as old web and is easily accessible, we're going back in time with the waybackmachine to see how the site looked and what information it had about old current productions in 2000-2008. And frankly I don't know what to do with the information that at some point in 2000 there was a 'vampire museum' inside the Raimund Theatre that had what appears to be a wax figure of Steve Barton in his original Graf von Krolock costume. I. What??

2. eljen . net / kroeger

A fansite dedicated to Uwe Kroger, the actor, that was run seemingly from 1998-2002 that old photos, links to music that no longer work, but most important to me is the 'Press' page that has many articles and interviews with Uwe that have been translated into English! The site is also available in German eljen . net / kroeger / deutsch. A special shoutout to Uwe's own drawing of himself as Der Tod.

3. eljen . net / elisabeth

Run by the same person as the first site, in fact it is technically the same site however if you go to the root eljen . net there is just a blank page with a link to the /kroeger site, there's no direct link to the Elisabeth site, you can only find it through googling or having the direct URL.

4. iukc . de

The Uwe Kroger fanclub webite seems to have started around 2000 but it was taken offline sometime after October 2021 as going to the URL now leads to a 404 error page, but the site is still accessible using the waybackmachine. On a 2019 capture of the website it states this fanclub was dissolved on December 31st 2019 and was advertising the uwe-kroeger-community . com website as a new fanclub. Some of the pages are available in English and Japanese, but all of the pages are only available in German. The site includes information about the fanclub, as well as lists of Uwe's work, discography, and more.

5. gudrun-kauck . de

A site that as far as I can tell is run by someone just documenting their life and things they see, and that happens to include many musicals. Down the left side of the site there are pages for The Phantom of the Opera, Tanz der Vampire, Ludwig, Concerts, Musicals and Actors. Here there is so much information, interviews, photos, screenshots, transcriptions of scripts and lyrics, articles, and more. This site is a real treasure trove. It's been updating since at least 2004 and it's most recent update was in 2023. This site is in German.

6. jimsteinman . com

The Tanz der Vampire page on Jim Stienman's website has links to lots of articles, interviews and photos for the original 1997 Vienna production and the 2000 Stuttgart production. This site is in English.

7. carpe-jugulujm . com

Another site that is no longer active and can only be accessed via the waybackmachine, it was online by 2006 and taken offline between late 2021 and 2023. It has information on productions of Tanz der Vampire between 1997 and 2009 and is one of the few if not the only place I've found information about the 2000 Estonia production. This site is in English.

8. geocities . ws / mymusicalworlds

This website is all in Chinese, however parts of it are in English and German. It lists information on different musicals, actors, and has lyrics for songs, and photos. It also has midi files but, as with almost all of these old sites, the download links no longer work.

9. theatre-musical . com

This website started around 2002 and was closed some time in 2016, if you go to the website now all you'll get is a message saying the website has been closed, however the old pages are still accessible via the waybackmachine. There's pages for many musicals with lots of information about each show and each of these musical pages has a link to a page that lists other sites, official and fanmade, that are about this musical. There's many more sites to find via

10. elisabeth-fanclub . de

A fansite dedicated to Elisabeth das Musical, more specifically the 2001 Essen production and 2003 Vienna Revival. This site includes information and photos about these productions. It was online by 2004 and was taken offline some time after 2007 and is only now available via the waybackmachine. This site is in German.

11. sisi-net . de

While this site is more dedicated to the actual real Empress Elisabeth, it also has a page dedicated to Elisabeth das Musical which includes several articles and interviews for the 2001 Essen production. There is also some information on here about the Ludwig musical. This site is in German. It was online by 1999, in 2008 the site was empty and "'"under construction" and after 2008 seemed to have either had it's domain sold or hacked and became used for something else, and by 2019 was offline.

12. geocities . com / broadway / 8851

Another site that is dedicated to the real person Elisabeth, but also has information about multiple productions of Elisabeth das Musical. The site was started in 1996 and is no longer online as GeoCities no longer exists as a website hoster, but can be accessed using the waybackmachine. This site is in English.

13. elisabeth-musicpage . de

A German fansite for the 2001 Essen production of Elisabeth das Musical that contains information about the show, merchandise, photos, etc. The site was online by 2002, went under construction in 2005 and after 2006 went offline and only accessible via the waybackmachine. This site is in German.

14. elisabeth-das-musical . de

The old official site for the 2001 Essen production of Elisabeth das Musical. It's only accessible via the waybackamachine however all I could access is this homepage as the site seems to require flash player which no longer exists. The site was made in 2001, by 2006 it was redirecting to a different website that no longer exists, and by 2008 it was just offline.

15. sissi . nl

The official site for the 1999 Dutch production of Elisabeth das Musical. The site went up in 1999 and is no longer online and only accessible via the waybackmachine.

16. marloes . info

A site where someone cataloged every musical they saw between 1996 and 2004. Some of these listings link to their reviews of the musicals and pictures they took (the pictures of Elisabeth das Musical really interest me because they went on a night where Jesper Tyden was understudying for Der Tod (he usually played Rudolf) in teh 2001 Essen production).

17. danceofthevampries . com

The official site for the 2002 Broadway production of Tanz der Vampire. Whilst we all have... feelings about this production, the site's design is very of its time. It has information on the (re-written) plot, cast, downloads for the original English demo recordings (that no longer work), and more. In 2002 the cast page lists the Broadway cast, after the shows closure in 2003 these pages advertised the 2003 Hamburg cast, and by 2006 it now advertises the 2006 Berlin cast, and then even by 2012 that page was no longer being updated. This site is now only accessible via the waybackmachine, I don't know when exactly it went offline but I remember being able to acccess it back in 2020. This site is in English.

18. tanzdervampire . de

The official site for German-lanuage productions of Tanz der Vampire from 2000 to around 2004, mostly the 2003 Hamburg production. Some pages of the site sometimes redirect to musicalwelt . de, like the 'galarie' page that links to a page of many paintings by Mike Schöbs of the original 1997 Vienna production. The site is only accessible via the waybackmachine, sometimes I have difficultly loading the pages, and sometimes the pages on later dates redirect to stagegholding . de which no longer exists or works.

19. tanz-der-vampire . de

A fansite for the 2003 Hamburg production of Tanz der Vampire that is still online. It has info about the musical and this production. The page I found the most interesting is the info > links page. It has a list that includes screenshots of websites from around 2003 with official and fanmade sites for different actors from the musical (such as Marjan Shaki, Maike Switzer, Aris Sas, Thomas Mülner, Jens Janke, Ian Jon Bourg, Kevin Tarte and more) most if not all of these sites are on the waybackmachine (and I'm saving them to my own web archive page rather than listing them all here, Tumblr has a text limit and an image limit and we're already running close to it).

20. fuer-sarah . de

A fansite dedicated to actors who played Sarah including understudies, alternates, swings, and dancers who played Sarah/Solo Female Dancer in the dance sequences in Tanz der Vampire. This site is in German and is only available via the waybackmachine and was active between 2001-2005.

21. musicalland . de

A fansite dedicated to musical theatre with some more specific pages dedicated too Elisabeth das Musical, The Phantom of the Opera, 42nd Street and Mamma Mia. The site is still online and stopped updating in 2010. This site is in German. The link to the Elisabeth das Musical page no longer works, but can still be accessed using the waybackmachine.

22. old-hickory . demon . co . uk / jim

A fan page for composer Jim Steinman that has pages about his non-musical work as well as his musicals Tanz der Vampire and Whistle Down the Wind. The Tanz der Vampire pages include lyrics in German and English, as well as the entire original 1997 Vienna libretto translated into English, as well as the 2000 Stuttgart production's programme fully translated into English that includes information and interviews. The site is in English and only accessible via the waybackmachine.

23. romeojulietmusicals . com

A fan site for the French musical Roméo et Juliette that has pages dedicated to many different language productions with cast lists, information, lyrics and lyric translations. There are galleries on the site but the images on longer load. This site is in English and was online between 2004 to 2008. There is a 'related links' page that contains so many more links to other musical sites.

24. compat . tf1 . fr

A fan site for Roméo et Juliette for the original 2000 Paris production containing images of the cast, and video interviews and behind the scenes with links that no longer work. This site is in French.

25. mozartbudapest . hu

The official website for the 2003 Budapest production of Mozart das Musical. This website is only accessible via the waybackmachine, it contains the cast list, a bio of Mozart (the person), but sadly most of the image no longer work. I mention it here only because when i opened it I was surprised the original logo animation and music still played. This site is available in English and Hungarian.

26. notredameonline . com

During 2000-2001 this URL was for the French musical Notre Dame de Paris and you can see this via the waybackmachine. The site then went offline after 2001 and the domain was sold and since 2006 has belonged to the University of Notre Dame. I really like the design of this site, sadly most of the links open pop-ups that no longer work. The site is available in French and English.

27. notredamedeparis . it

The official site for the 2002 Italian tour of Notre Dame de Paris. It has a lot of information about the musical and this specific production. This site is in Italian and is only accessible via the waybackmachine.

28. geocities . ws / dreamcatcher182004

A fansite dedicated to a few musicals that was last updated in 2003. It has pages for Chicago, Les Mis, Miss Saigon, The Phantom of the Opera and Tanz der Vampire.

.

So yeah, that was a list. I hope that was interesting or for anyone wanting to find more information about these musicals for research, essays, or just for fun, that this post was helpful or interesting in some way. There are a lot more websites than just the ones on this list, however Tumblr has both a photo and a character limit for text posts. Hope someone found this interesting. I just like making lists.

[fruity-mega-coconut69]

Too Late

[summary] : After an argument with Tara while at the shrine, you try to help her and her sister defeat The ghostfaces . But neither of you expected to possibly never make up.

[pairings] : Tara Carpenter x Reader

[warnings] : Scream IV. spoilers, blood, Character death, angst, murder, swearing.

A/N: i will be posting pt. 2 of 'Both of Them' tomorow!

When you decided that you would come with your friends of all time to New York, you didn't expect for things to turn out like they did. For example, you and Tara dating.

But there are, of course, bad things too. Like the killers coming after you guys.

You and Tara were sure you were meant to be, even with you knowing about how Chad has a thing for her. You never doubted Tara's love for you and she never doubted yours.

Well that was not entirely true, as of right now you were in an old theatre that Sam's ex Boyfriend made into some kind of shrine. You walked in on Chad and Tara kissing. You were really trying to stay calm and have this conversation as peaceful as possible, but you can't with knowing the killer is probably going to get to you soon and all. It was just so stressful. All of it.

" Okay, Tara. I am going to let you explain what the fuck did i just see, because i really don't want to be mad at you right now " You said as you slowly started walking towards them.

"Hey, Y/N. I-It's my fault, okay? I kissed her ! " Said Chad, trying to explain it to you.

" No, no. It's okay, Chad. Just sit down, okay? " You smiled weakly at him.

" Look it's not my fault okay? i was just.....Talking to him and then he kissed me! I swear. " She says, almost pleading.

Lies

She was lying.

And at that exact moment, you lost it " Then why the fuck, were you kissing him?! " You nearly shouted. She took a step back.

" i was NOT kissing him! Are you blind? You need a pair of glasses? " She snaps back.

You scoff " Oh stop it! I- " You pause, not knowing if you should really continue this.

" What? You can't even speak now? " Says Tara angrily " You should know i wouldn't do that to you! "

" Y-yeah. I-I know. " You stutter out.

"Then what the hell is wrong with you? "

" I-I-"

" Maybe i like chad, huh ? Then what? Or maybe i have never even loved you! I mean fuck! It's pretty hard to put up with your insecure ass 24/7 !" She steps closer to you.

Oh, now she is angry at you?

Sure her words cut deep, tore up scars that have also been healed by her, but she can't be mad at you. " What the Fuck, Tara?! Now you wanna blame it on me? I did nothing! You were the one with your tongue down our childhood friends throat! "

" I didn't mean it, okay? It was an accident! But of fucking course, your depressed, traumatized, un self-confident ass doesn't understand! " This time it was you who took multiple steps back.

She didn't mean it.

Of course she didn't, she loves you. She has just been stressed because of all that shit that's been happening the past days. And as soon as she saw the tears and sadness in your eyes, she quickly came back into reality. She fucked up. She knew it.

When Chad kissed her, she kissed him back. Yes that's true. But she was about to push him away when you walked in on them. Everybody makes mistakes, you should know that. But at that moment both of you were blinded by rage.

" Guys! " You all suddenly hear Sam's voice " It's Kirby! Kirby is Ghost face! " She says and rushes towards you all.

Ghostface suddenly barges in and starts running towards you guys. You try to go in the other direction but there is another Ghostface already standing there, a knife in their hand. You start running down a hallway-like thing the others following closely behind you. You end up in a room with only one door, you start running towards it, but both of the ghostfaces are already there. Chad suddenly speaks up " Go! I will distract them! "

"NO!" Both you and Tara scream at him, you trying to pull him with you, but to no wail.

" Just go! I'll be fine! "

Sam pulls back the both of you and starts dragging you backwards when you all see both of the Ghostfaces stabbing Chad like a billion times " Go " He says weakly as the killers wipe their knifes.

You run as fast as you could 'til you get to the shrine and there you see Kirby stumbling on the stage, you and Tara pick up bricks while Sam has her knife and she says " Step back, Kirby! We know it's you! "

" What? No! One of them knocked me out! " She says. " Look whatever detective Bailey told you, is not true! "

Just in that moment detective Bailey arrives with a gun in his hand " Kirby! You are under arrest! drop your gun! "

" Detective, you know i'm not the killer. Please! "

Suddenly one of the ghostfaces appear behind him " Bailey, behind you! " Kirby tries to shoot the ghostface, but she can't because Detective Bailey shoots her first. We all gasp.

" Ah, well. She was useless anyway!. " He smirks as the other ghostface comes up behind him.

-

You, Tara and Sam were currently climbing up the balcony, trying to get through the boxes. All of a sudden Tara slips and almost fells, but Sam catches her, you also trying to help somehow. " you have to let me go, Sam. " Tara says as your eyes widen and Sam starts shaking her head " Let me go " Tara whispers and glances at the knife on Sam's Pants. Sam understands right away and hands it to her. Sam lets go of Tara's hand and you watch as she pushes the knife down Ethan's throat.

You quickly look away when you hear the footsteps of someone and look at Sam then in the direction of the footsteps and see Quinn slowly walking up to you two " Hey, You got this? " Sam asks as she notices detective Bailey walking towards Tara. You nod.

Sam runs down and you look at Quinn, who is smiling like a maniac. " Well, looks like you are alone now, Y/N. You know i somehow always knew you were gonna die alone and mentally unstable " She laughs " You know what's funny? You weren't even supposed to die " She chuckles lowly.

You look around to see if there is any kind of weapon around you, and to your disappointment you find none. You run towards her, tackaling her to the ground " i am so not dying tonight "

You hit her repeatedly with your fists and her face is slowly turning red from the blood when you feel a stinging pain in your lower torso. You scream out in pain as she starts dragging it upwards. She slowly turns your positions so now, she is on top of you and pulls out the knife " you know, you really could have just stayed home! Then you wouldn't have to die right now " Quinn says with a smile on her face.

" Fuck you " You say and spit blood on her face.

She laughs and thrusts the knife into your chest rapidly and then goes to your stomach, you wait for another train of pain to come. But it never does. You look up to see Quinn down to help her father.

-

You open you eyes to see the same ceiling as the one you last saw before you passed out. Everything hurts, but you somehow still manage to stand up. You hear someone Talking and then starts coughing up blood. You quickly go towards the voices, your vision blurry.

Tara and Sam are having their sister moment, when they hear coughing and someone falling down the balcony they quickly run to you. Tara gasps as she looks at you, and she is fast to sit down and put you head in her lap, as Sam checks for a heartbeat. Anything,

She slowly looks at Tara, a certain sadness in her eyes. Tara is quick to catch on and soon tears all rolling down her cheeks as she sobs, looking down at you. Your lifeless body laying limp in her lap.

She looks up at Sam, who is also crying, and says " I didn't even get to apologize. "

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: well, that was pretty shitty. But i probably should go to sleep. byee.

[savagewildnerness]

i was back reading your blog a little (love your thoughts btw!!) and saw the asks about book/tv lestat being at the trial by his own will or not… tbh, i think he went with the intent to rescue them like the tvl scene where he and gabrielle go to rescue nicki. where he’s outwardly pretending to be super confident, unflappable, flamboyant lestat, but we know he’s actually just acting and in actuality he’s trying everything he’s got to convince armand and the coven to let he and gabrielle leave with nicki (very much like a hostage negotiator). he’s in total panic mode fighting for his and his family’s life, but he’s also camping it up, flirting with the female vampires in the coven, etc. (my favorite bit is when he says something like oh, darling!… always makes me lol). that was what the trial scene reminded me of, especially how he tells off the soldier, etc… i wonder if his strategy is “oh, if i just get up there and tell the truth and explain my philosophy and how we all loved each other the coven and the audience will understand and we’ll be set free, just like the children of darkness set us free,” or at least everyone will be so distracted and confused they can break loose. which is at once very hubristic and also, well, it worked once, why shouldn’t it work again? and in the book he is super shocked that none of the old theatre troupe and the vampires he loved like Eleni are there. idk, just my thoughts!! <3 hope you are well x

Omg, I probably should have left this till it was not currently midnight to respond to - so I could respond in a more coherent way than I’m currently capable of, but I love this ask so much I simply had to respond immediately!

So, with the caveat that obviously who knows exactly how the writers want to/will tell the story…

This idea had never occurred to me! Yet it *is* exactly how Lestat approaches saving Nicolas in the books, so given the changes in circumstances for tv-Lestat, it would make total sense if Lestat employed similar techniques in trying to save Louis!

Also, this way, there’s potential to juxtapose Lestat’s 18th century rescue of Nicolas (& how awfully that turned out in the end) with his rescue of Louis, from his perspective?! This could be so poignant, I feel!

Thank you so much, Anon! While I have no idea exactly how the show will tell Lestat’s story pre- & post- trial, I have felt strangely about it till now because:

1) it doesn’t yet make full sense from what we’ve seen so far on tv, so I cannot fully feel it…

2) circumstances mean that things cannot be exactly as they are in the books, which has made me wary of expecting any thing & made me feel like it would be better to just not imagine any scenario at all…

BUT!

You have just provided me with a scenario which isn’t as things are in the books, but which I absolutely love! And which makes sense!

So, thank you! You have made me excited for the revisit of the trial that must come in S3 at some point! I would love it if you are right! 🤞🤞🤞

(And thank you so much for your kind comments too!)

[arkethamz]

Antonio doodle/info dump since he was around last month :3

left is the most recent doodles before i knew he'd be coming back

right is the first drawings of him (coincidentally exactly a year ago from June 1st)

more uncolored doodles n sketches. i kinda draw Antonio the most, but i rarely post about him (been gatekeepmaxxing)

last drawings that i actually still kinda like.. i have much more, i just don't like how they look anymore lmao

rambling wall of text infodump below the cut cuz i am just so autistic about this character LMAO sorry i'm a yapper-

anyway, contrary to popular belief, Antonio is actually my favorite RP character. just in general. and i've never actually seen him live until the other day. unbeknownst to me, i was waiting for a whole year to be able to actually see him live, i think i was more excited about it than cc!anthony was 💀

which might contribute to my love for him bc i had to piece him together like a puzzle from everyone else's POVs and clips n stuff. so at first i didn't want him to come back bc i was afraid he'd be different from the Antonio i made up in my head... but then. i haven't sat n watched, at mostly full attention, a whole stream for 7 hours in a while LOL

when i watched cc!buddha's rdrp vods a year ago n saw Antonio, i thought to myself "oh no... Tony isn't actually my new muse is he...?". and for a while i didn't draw him bc i didn't have any ideas + i didn't really know how to draw him. but i did know that when i did learn how to draw him, it'd be over for me (i wouldn't want to draw anyone else, and i was right oops 😭)

my idea of Antonio is he's just a dumb, impulsive, silly little theatre kid that got wrapped up in being an outlaw bc of Wu n Dot after his house burned down. they woulda been moving around in old box cars wherever the trains took them. Dot dies before the events of WildRP(headcanon), and Wu to me, is the autistic kid that follows Antonio around bc he talks a lot n has charisma lolol. also, to me, Wu is not as evil as he was intended to be, he just follows in Sonny's footsteps who's calculated n violent. While Antonio chooses Cesare's path to be more diplomatic and focuses more on his reputation. Antonio can't win a fight to save his life, and i love him for it. he thinks he's scary n dangerous, but to me, he couldn't hurt a fly hehe. i mean, one of the first things he did in the crossing was host a talent show at the local theatre. i'm a big fan of pathetic men, what can i say.

speaking of, i love how pathetically in love he is with Renni. and i love how, despite how much they like each other, they never actually get together n still respect each other as friends. they are the embodiment of the saying "if you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours" but without the last part.. they are so tragic to me.

in the last 3.5 years of watching rp, i've never had any character or character dynamic make me cry. like, as much as i love how doomed n toxic Donnie/Lang is, i've teared up a bit, but they've never made me cry just thinking about them. but Antonio, n by extension, his relationship with Renni, has made me cry multiple times just thinking about them 😭 and yeah, i cried the other day when Antonio was thinking about Renni LOL

idk why he's the character that changes my brain chemistry, but uh. he is. i've literally never rambled about a character so much online, sorry for the great wall of text bc of it.. i'm usually masking so hard a lot of the time, but i've been wanting to talk about Antonio for so long with no one to yap to so, yknow.. he gets me to unmask and i also love him for that :']

[dnpbeats]

hi! i saw ur posts about age ratings etc and i do have Thoughts - not meaning to come off rude or critical or anything just sharing a different perspective :)

firstly, i think anyone who watches dan and phil's content and enjoys it enough to purchase (fairly expensive) tickets and arrange to go see it is probably fully aware of the type of jokes they will make and able to make a decent judgement call on whether it is appropriate for them to see.

secondly, and this relates more to the UK and shows there, (i cannot speak on other countries - i don't have the lived experience) but teenagers have heard sex jokes. teenagers have been exposed to "inappropriate" content. i doubt that TIT will be particularly shocking to 15 to 17 year olds.

finally, i think unnecessary exclusion is dumb. i will be 17 when i go to my show, and i will also have been watching dan and phil for nine years. i know many people won't agree with this, and i am for sure biased, but i think denying the opportunity to see dip n pip live to people who have been fans for years over a few months of age is just kind of sad.

hi! no worries you aren’t being rude :) when I say I think it’s weird that it’s not age-restricted, i don’t mean like Only Adults Can Set Foot In This Venue™, more so I just think it’s weird that technically speaking this event is all-ages. the under-14 rule seems to be a kind of “default” rule at d&p’s tours as it was also in place for tatinof and ii, and I would imagine is mainly to do with safety, not the content of the show. also seeing as this is a d&p rule and not a venue rule, idk how it works with venues like knowing people’s ages/enforcing it (I was just under 14 when I went to tatinof but I was with my friend’s dad so 🤷🏻‍♀️). the show is all ages so as a venue I imagine they’re not gonna be strict about who is coming into the theatre with or without an adult. for context I am in the US, and here for R rated movies if you’re under 17 you have to have a parent or guardian with u (or at least buy the ticket for you). so personally in my mind, all ages equates to being more tame than an R rated movie. basically what I’m trying to say is the content warning means nothing in terms of who is able to see the show (also while tit and wad both have content warnings, two things I will say is that the tit content warning wasn’t obvious to find, and also it says “may contain xyz” whereas wad said “will contain xyz” idk anyway)

sorry I’m rambling and not actually responding to what u said 😭 basically lol okay I’m not a parental guidance tour rater so at the end of the day what the fuck do I know. I’m not saying “omg tit should’ve been 18+ so Dan and Phil can fuck live on stage.” HOWEVER I imagine there’s things they could say/do/talk about if the show was let’s say rated 16+ w/ no wiggle room vs. being rated all ages but “hey if you’re -14 bring an adult and also we might say cuss words :3” you know? it’s not so much about exclusion but more about “how wild is this show actually allowed to be when there’s not an actual solid age restriction?”

not that I think wildness equates to the quality of the show, but just that the way d&p have been marketing and setting up our expectations is that this show is gonna be SO BATSHIT CRAZY NOTHING HELD BACK ‼️‼️‼️‼️ when like, in reality idk how possible that is for something rated all-ages. so more than anything I’m just thinking about managing expectations

[chicaotaku-fanfics]

There's Three of You?! Pt. 10

Ok, I'm soooooo sorry for the delay on this one. I really hoped I could post it when I said, but unlucky for me, life came in the way.

Warnings: foul language, might be some medical inconsistencies.

CHAPTER 10

After all that ordeal with “Her Highness” and helping Reese, I decided to go to the lounge, but decided otherwise last minute and went to the cafeteria instead for a coffee. There, I was in line and got an iced large white mocha, with one more white mocha pump, soy milk, and two more espresso shots, I waited near the bar for it, and while doing so, I saw Connor approach a table where his sister and… oh wow, the one and only Cornelius Rhodes, were seating.

“Dad.” Connor said, I was then given my coffee, and I went to the bar to grab some napkins, all the time having an ear on my friend’s conversation.

“Doctor. How's our patient doing?” asked the older Rhodes.

“Russel's stabilized for now. I have found something that could help us with the surgery. It's an imaging system called Surgical Theatre SNAP.” Connor explained, I thought about that. It was a very good ide and, the tech was amazing, I’ve seen it in action, thanks to a med journal Will shared with me, it was wonderful. My brother must’ve said something to Connor about it.

“Okay.” Claire’s voice made me come back to the present.

“It's FDA approved, so insurance is gonna cover it, but Russel is going to be looking at a lengthy hospital stay afterwards, and I just want to make sure that–” Connor cut himself off.

“That somebody covers the co-pay?” asked Mr. Rhodes.

“We will.” said Claire in an instant.

“Hang on there, Bernie Sanders. Now, I love Russel as much as you do, but we have to be responsible to the company. Are you prepared to do this for every one of our employees?” asked the older Rhodes, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“We are talking about Russel here. God, he's worked for us since he was 14 years old. He's family.” said Connor.

“Us? When did it become "us"?” asked Mr. Rhodes with a smirk on his face. Connor looked annoyed and defeated, he turned to leave the place, walking by Dr. Charles on the way out, I had already started to move to catch him.

“That's your dad?” asked the head of psychiatry.

“Yep.” said Connor unenthusiastically.

“Fathers like that keep me in business, baby.” said the older doctor with a snort, Connor kinda smiled.

By the time we were out of sight of everyone, I chose to make my presence known to the surgeon.

“For what its worth, I already knew who you were. Dind’t influence me in anyway.” I said, he turned to look at me with a confused expression on his face.

“What’s that supposed to mean Dr. Halstead?” he asked, we made our way out and went to the elevator, it arrived and we got inside.

“It means, Dr. Rhodes, that I don’t care if you’re a Rhodes, a Callahan, or whatever other family name. You’re you Connor. You’re Dr. Connor Rhodes, a great trauma surgeon and an excellent doctor who cares deeply about his patients. Your upbringing and family name don’t matter to me.” I said, he looked relieved with what I said.

“You really are something else Lilly Halstead. Thank you.” he said, I smiled at him and offered him a drink of my coffee, he took the drink, gave it a stir with the straw and took a sip. He gave it back and I gave a good sip too.

“Don’t need to thank me Con. That’s what friends are for.” I said with a smile. He smiled too, offering his fist for a fistbump, I did and then we made our way to the lounge. “Oh, and I aslo heard my brother recommended the SNAP for your patient’s CT scans.” I said nonchalantly.

Connor let  out a sigh and then a snort. “Yeah, before mentioning the family business and that he could only buy some socks there.” I let out a sigh too.

“My brother will tell anybody who will listen of his school debts any chance he gets… but there’s a foundation behind that.” I started to explain. “I don’t mean to make my brother, or me for that matter, seem like a charity case because of what I’m about to say” I warn the man beside me.

“He may be a pain in the ass, but he’s earning my respect.” Connor said, I nodded.

“Will always comments on his debts, because our father never supported his drive to go to college.” I said, Connor looked confused. “Yeah, my father is very, VERY, traditional and conservative in some ways… one of them being the belief that a man has to go straight to work… you can guess how that went.” I made a pause, remembering that day very well. “It was an awful argument. Jay made the effort for me not to see it, but in the end, the aftermath was obvious: Will stormed out the house with his things and left to New York, and that also meant that he had to put himself through college and med school… since then, they haven’t seen eye to eye, or more like, us Halstead siblings haven’t seen our father eye to eye in a long time.” I said.

“I’m sorry to hear that Lilly.” he said, the elevator ringed on the ED floor and we both got out.

“Don’t sweat it. Like I said, I’m not trying to make a charity case out of my brother… nor out of us three. I know we had it rough, growing up where and how we did, but we made it: Will and I are doctors and Jay is a detective. We’re good with being each other's support system.” I said with a small smile and gave my coffee another sip.

As we made our way to the “control center”, commonly known to everyone else as the “nurses desk”, Connor took my coffee and gave it another sip, we ended up sharing it, the last sip being mine. Maggie saw us since we came out of the elevator, clearly surprised and even amused by what we were doing.

“Care to share what you two are doing?” asked our beloved head nurse.

“Nothing Mags, just sharing a coffee.” I said nonchalantly.

“I could see that.” she said, smug and teasing at the same time, both Connor and I chuckled, Maggie looked at me in shock.

“I had heard Will comment on it, as well as Jay, but I told them I wouldn’t believe it until I saw it… and now I have, the famous “Halstead Chuckle®”. Girl you really are the spiting image of your brothers when you do that.” Maggie said, I let out another chuckle, giving the head nurse a charming, cheeky smile.

“What can I say Mags? Runs in the family.” I said, she snorted at my comment, and gave me an iPad.

“Your new patient. Treatment 2, little boy with a dislocated shoulder and scrapes on his knees.” said the nurse, pointing both of us in the direction of the treatment room. We turn to her, asking with our eyes why would she need two doctors to cover one simple case. “The mom is almost in hysterics.” I smile and shake my head, Connor snorts beside me.

“It’s showtime Dr. Rhodes.” I said with a small smirk on my face.

“Indeed Dr. Halstead.” said Connor with the same expression on his face. Just as we made our way to the treatment room, my brother came out of the doctors lounge, looking at us with a confused expression.

WILL’S P.O.V

“Since when do those two get along so well?” I asked Maggie, as I saw my baby sister and Rhodes go for one of the treatment rooms.

“Since day one, actually. Your sister’s an angel, compared to you.” she said, that last part with fake annoyance.

“Oh come on, I’m a delight!” I said, a cheeky and boyish smile on my face, Maggie looked at me shocked, then shook her head with a smile.

“You two are mirror images.” she said, I made a confused expression, she then pointed towards the treatment room where my sister and Connor had disappeared to. “You and Lilly!” she clarified. I snorted.

“Yeah, we get that a lot. Is as if we were siblings or something” I said to annoy her, it worked a little too well, cause she hit me with a folder containing a patient file. I laughed. “I give! I give!” I said in between laughs.

“You are something else William Halstead.” Maggie said, then Lilly’s and Connor’s voices carry out to us, both Maggie and I look up just in time to see them both coming out of the treatment room, smiles on their faces, they grab some antibacterial gel and walk over to us. Lilly has the iPad under her arm.

“Another successful treatment. Maggie get us the discharge papers for little Tim, please and thank you.” she asked the nurse, handing her the iPad back, then she noticed me. “Wish you behaved that well when we were kids.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I was the role model for both you and Jay.” I said, she just looked at me with her «are you kidding?» face.

“Really? The role model who, when we were 14, 12, and 10 years old respectively, was practicing how to play the guitar, made Jay angry, got his nose broken and proceeded to make the three of us siblings escape dad’s anger by sneaking out the piping line next to his bedroom window which, may I remind you, wasn’t the first time you prompt us to escape that way?” she said. I blushed, Maggie out right laughed, and Connor snorted.

“Never thought you were raking havoc since your early teens Halstead.” he said.

“Oh shush you.” I said to my sister, who was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. I lightly pushed her and she laughed.

GOODWIN’S P.O.V

I was in my office checking some papers and patient forms, when the door was knocked. I gave permission for the person on the other side to come in… and in came Cornelius Rhodes. We talked, and went back and forth on an “issue”, Dr. Rhodes’s involvement in a patient’s care.

“I'm not sure you're aware, but Connor knows Russel Rollins, and it just didn't seem appropriate to me that my son be the one treating him.” he said.

“Well, the degree of familiarity doesn't warrant taking Dr. Rhodes off the case, and Mr. Rollins, when he was lucid, did not request another physician.” I explained

“Let me put it another way.” he started. “I would like Russel to receive the very best medical care, and I do not think my son can provide that.” he said.

“Your son is a first-rate surgeon, otherwise I would not have hired him.” I said.

“I want him off the case.” he demanded. This man has to be joking.

“It's not your decision to make, sir.” I said, firm on my stand.

“Excuse me, but I'm the one writing checks here.” he said, trying to intimidate me with his wealth.

“And while we appreciate that, this is my shop, and I will not be pulling Dr. Rhodes from the case.” I said, finality in my voice.

“I want you to remember this conversation, because if anything happens to Russel, you will be repeating it in a courtroom.” he threatened.

“I will remember. And you, sir, have a nice day.” I said,standing up, dismissing him.

“This may not be your shop for long.” he threatened again as he stood up.

I’d like to see you try Mr. Rhodes.

LILLY’S P.O.V

About three hours later, I had discharged Tim, checked on other patients, had helped Connor and Will with other patients and I was now on the lounge with my third cup of coffee of the day. I then got a page from Connor, requesting my presence in the main neuro OR room, I went there and was, again, amazed at the function of the SNAP.

“Incredible.” said Dr. Zanetti.

“Wait till you get the headset on. It's like I'm moving around inside of his body.” said Connor, I let out a low whistle.

“This is definitely amazing… remind me to tell Will that he’s a genius for recommending this.” I said, Dr. Zanetti looked at me with a sour expression on her face.

“Okay, so tell me how this thing works.” requested Ms. Goodwin.

“It combines images from the CT angiogram and creates a three-dimensional model of the patient's anatomy. With the HTC Vibe, you get virtual reality. It allows us to better tailor our operation.” Dr. Zanetti explained. “Are you having some concerns?” she asked

“No, no, no, just--just curious. Oh, by the way, Dr. Rhodes, I met your father today.” said Ms. Goodwin.

“Yeah? Did he charm you?” asked Connor.

“Not exactly.” she said with a serius tone.

“If its any consolation Ms. Goodwin, he didn’t charm me either.” I said, she smiled a small smile at me. I nodded.

“Hey, Dr. Zanetti. Take a look at the middle-left subclavian artery.” said Connor.

“The glass is going straight through. It's like a finger in a dike.” she said.

“I can't believe there's still flow past the injury.” added Connor, I was looking at the image with all of my attention.

“Rotate a little to the left.” said Zanetti, but I spotted the problem before she did.

“There. Looks like our dike sprung a leak.” I said, worried about our patient, I could tell Zanetti was mad at me, while Goodwin looked at me with awe and surprise on her face.

“He's bleeding.” Ms. Goodwin said.

“Yeah.” said Connor and I at the same time.

“If I may?” I asked, Connor nodded. “I think you can get away with a collarbone incision.” I gave my opinion.

Zanetti didn’t looked please that I had pretty much “stolen” her idea, but I don’t care, my priority is our patient… even if I can’t assist in the surgery.

“Come on, let's go.” said Zanetti to Connor.

I stayed behind for a little longer, looking at the image in front of me with Ms. Goodwin by my side.

“Good call Dr. Halstead… very good call.” she said, before pating my shoulder and leaving. I turned off everything and headed out. I managed to catch up to Dr. Zanetti and Connor.

“Claire, Dad, this is Dr. Zanetti. Russel is being prepped for surgery right now, and she and I will perform the operation.” Connor explained.

“Okay.” said Claire.

“You must have a lot of faith in him.” said Mr. Rhodes, smirking cynically.

“I do.” said the blonde surgeon.

“And so do I.” I announce my presence.

“Hmm, I never thought I'd see the day; my son saving lives.” said the older Rhodes, clearly ignoring me, making it sound like mockery. I decided it was time to step in.

“Then why does it sound like you’re mocking him, Mr. Rhodes?” I asked the man, he turned to look at me.

“And you are?” he asked, confusion and annoyance clear in his voice.

“Dr. Lillian Halstead. Emergency Medicine physician with a double certification in Forensic Pathology.” I said, extending my hand to him, he seemed shocked, as well as both the younger Rhodes and the blonde surgeon.

“Well, Dr. Halstead, I don’t see where you could get the idea that I’m mocking my son. I’m genuinely impressed with what he does.” he tried to lie to my face, I decided to call him out on his bullcrap.

“We all know that’s a lie Mr. Rhodes.” again, everyone seemed surprised. “If you’re wonderig how I know you lied, it’s pretty easy; you can school your expressions all you want, make an impenetrable mask… a poker face if you will, but your microexpressions…” I pause, letting out my Halstead Chuckle® “those are way harder to control Mr. Rhodes.”

“What do you think gives you the right to…” he started, I interrupted him.

“Talk to you like that?” he seemed surprised. “Remember the part were I said I have a Forensic Pathology certification? I might as well add my Forensic Psychology certification to the mix.” I said, and as an «afterthought», added the icing on the proverbial cake. “As well as my experience as the medical consultant for CPD’s District 21’s Intelligence Unit. I believe you’ve heard of Sergeant Hank Voight?” I said, Mr. Rhodes paled at the mention of the man, nodding. “I’ve worked with him and his unit. Might do you good remembering that Mr. Rhodes.” I said, smirking. I then turned to Dr. Zanetti and Connor. “Well, Dr. Zanetti, Dr. Rhodes, I’ll get out of your hair so you can perform the surgery… I’ll see you later.” and with that, and my charming smile I left them all to go back to the ED.

I arrived back just in time to hear my brother explain something to Natalie, worried about one of his patients, why he became a doctor.

“I became a doctor to save people's lives.” he said, getting a bit mad.  “It's all I've ever wanted to do. I don't have a fallback plan or some hidden passion. This is it for me.” he added, making a pause. “It's just… no one ever told me there'd be this much loss involved.” he asid, storming off in the opposite direction to where Natalie was, directly into my way to the lounge. I followed my brother and enter the room.

“Hey. No one blames you, you know. Sometimes… patients don’t see what we see, and even if we explain it to them, they still need time to process things.” I said, Will turned to look at me. Then, in one swift move, he took me into his arms, hugging me and resting his head in my shoulder, something that should be a feat of wonder, since this redheaded giant is easily 8 inches taller than me.

“Thank you for being here Lilypad… I don’t know what I’d do without you… or Jay.” he said, his voice sounding so small. I ruffled his hair and kissed his head.

“You never have to thank me for that Will. I love you. I’ll always be there for you.” I said, honesty and certainty in my tone, I felt Will’s smile against my neck.

“I love you too Lilly.”

We spent some time there, until Will had to leave to check on his patient. I decided to do the same and went to look for Connor… which was easier than I thought cause he was looking for me.

“Hey, Lilly!” he said.

“Hi Connor.”

“What you did back there with my father…” he started.

“I’ll start by saying that, if he wants an apology, he won’t get one. He doesn’t deserve it.” I said, he right out laughed.

“No, no… don’t worry about that.” he took a moment to catch his breath. “I just wanted to thank you, for having my back, back there. My father has always been an ass, but having your support and seeing the way you talked back to him… I’ll never be able to repay you.” he said, I smiled.

“No need to thank me Connor, that’s what friends are for. And now that I found you… or more like, you found me I wanted to ask, how was the surgery?” I asked him, we made our way down the hall and Ms. Goodwin catched up to us.

“Dr. Rhodes, how's your patient?” asked Ms. Goodwin once we´re approaching Connor’s family.

“The surgery was successful, and he should be okay.” he said, I smile at that, relieved everything turned out alright.

“Oh, thank God.” said Claire, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Isn't that great news, Mr. Rhodes?” asked Ms. Goodwin, I turn to look at him too.

“Yes, I had every faith in my son.” he said, cynical smile on his face. 

Liar. I think, biting my tongue in an effor not to say a thing. 

“That's exactly what I told the Chairman of the Board when he dropped by to see me today.” said Ms. Goodwin, Connor and I looked shocked for a quick second.

“Thank you.” said Claire to Connor, he turned to look at her and grabbed her hand in his.

“Of course.” he said to her.

“Well, looks like we can go. Thank you very much.” said Mr. Rhodes, I can tell my presence was making him uncomfortable.

“Dolan Rhodes. That's a big name in Chicago. Growing up with that can give a person a skewed perspective, like whatever he wants, he ought to get.” said Ms. Goodwin casually.

“My dad give you a hard time?” asked Connor, a bit down in the dumps.

“Nothing I couldn't handle.” she said with a chuckle.

“My grandfather was the one who started the business.” he told us.

“Oh?” I asked, curiosity at its peak.

“Yeah. Salt to the Earth kind of guy. He used to say to me, «You're gonna have to work harder than everybody else,» you know? «Be better than everybody else so that you don't turn out like everybody expects you to.»” he said, and I can’t help but remember my own grandfather.

“Hmm.” was Ms. Goodwin’s way to ask Connor to continue.

“«So that you don't turn out like your father.» Took me a while to get that message.” He said.

“Well, congratulations, Dr. Rhodes.” said Ms. Goodwin, before leaving to go God-knows-where.

I turn to look at Connor, and seeing him still leaning on the nurses’ desk, I bump his side with mine. He turns to look at me, confused. I look at him with a smile.

“Congratulations indeed. You not only didn’t turn out like your father… you’re a better human being than him.” I say sincerely, Connor looks at me shocked, then chuckles and side hugs me.

“Thanks Lilly.” I return the hug as my way of responding.

After our moment, I went back to the ED, only to find Will looking at Natalie with hearts in his eyes as she played the violin with her patient. I stood beside him, putting my hands inside my scrubs’ pants pockets.

“Didn’t know she played the violin.” I said to make my presence known to my brother.

“She’s good at it.” Will said, I wanted to chuckle at the way he sounded.

“I can give her that.” I said, Will turned slightly to look at me.

“Would you try to learn how to play?” he asked, I snorted.

“With our kind of hectic schedules? No thank you. I’ll stick to my base, guitar and singing, thank you very much for asking.” I said, patting his shoulder and heading to the lounge to get my stuff. “Don’t stay here for too long, I actually wanna manage to grab a bite for dinner with you.” I said to him.

Finally, all the chapters I had written are posted! I appreciate that you've given my story a chance, it means a lot to me.

Feel free to leave comments, reblog, and like if you enjoy this crazy ride we're all in. Also, I've posted the AO3 link here, feel free to go there too if you want.

(Note, the next chapter's in the making, I beg for consideration and patience.)

Thanks again, tons of love.

ChicaOtaku out! 💜

[bridgertonworld]

Hi, I don't know how big your account is, or how far a reach this will go, but I'm a friend of a friend of the girl on Twitter who reunited with Luke the other day, she doesn't know that I'm doing this but I just can't stand to see her so sad about a day that brought her so much joy. She hasn't been directly contacted or sent any hateful messages, a few people watching her account but nothing sinister, shes just upset at the idea that anyone could angrily hate her so much & doesn't really understand why, when its just two people reconnecting & having a laugh together. I guess I get people's train of thought but I'm not justifying that behaviour, & its weird, & it's upset her, so she's my priority.

She's actually been trying to make friends in the Bridgerton fandom for a while, no-one wanted to interact with her so she just settled to enjoy it in private because none of us watch it & she wanted to talk about it with someone, not to brag or boast, she'd even kept her connection entirely quiet, we didn't even know until a couple years back. She started watching it because she couldn't believe Luke had become part of something so huge & is immensely proud of him, wanting to support him where she could. She'd post about it every season, including his/his characters full name but no-one bothered her or interacted & so she felt she could speak freely since no-one gave her a look in until now.

She saw Luke on Monday but had sent a letter a few days prior because she had some stuff to give him from the job they worked (as she told us, he got a little emotional about it) & everything that happened that day was pure luck. She'd had a horrible time from start to finish with the theatre / show itself, & she was just going to finish her drink & go home because she was so fed up. She text us because she was so upset & then Luke & her saw each other across the bar & he was so happy & excited to see her again that he saved it all. She'd told him everything that happened (there was some harassment from an audience member due to her disability) & he stayed with her the entire time because not only were they old friends, but what with her hearing loss he knew she thrived better with one to one conversations & away from crowds. I'm guessing he knew how odd fans can be around women since she mentioned him hiding her a bit when talking to fans but she spoke to his colleagues & friends. As for the comment about celebrating something together, it was two things in one sentence, one was a job she can't talk online about because of NDA's (not Bridgerton) & the second is that he helped her (through his role of Benedict) to finally come out as bisexual & he was extremely proud of her & wanted to celebrate these for her.

He was really wonderful with my friend, shes overwhelmed & kicking her feet because she doesn't feel like she's worthy of ANYONES time in chatting to her or spending time with her, like good things aren't meant for her, so when he was excited to see her, she asked "Wait you remember me?" And he was in disbelief she'd ask him something like that like they hadn't worked, drank, or laughed together ever when she was at the beginnings of his career. She's a wonderfully radiant, warm, funny, gold hearted woman who makes you belly laugh with her quick wit & makes everyone feel so safe & at ease. I popped round her place once to pick something up & she'd made me an extra helping of food so she knew I'd have food when I got home. She's brilliant & it sucks to see her sad over the idea of people being mean about her friendship/colleague idk what to call it that she supports & celebrates like everyone else but for more good reason. She went private not because she was getting abuse, but because she'd heard about people that didn't like her over this, and didn't have the energy to explain without fear of things getting twisted because she respects him that much, she would rather have people speculate about her than make things worse & reflect poorly.

This is long, & I hope I did her justice. It should be said though that she heard people talking about the rumour of what they both were & she laughed through tears going "Oh fuck off, he's too wonderful" (like most, she has a crush but that's about it.)

Edit:lies number 2.

[whatmathgodwrought]

Salad Bar Theory of Popular Culture

This is going to be a long post. It will discuss "The Salad Bar Theory of Popular Culture," and why Tumblr dot com is the ideal, overgrown petri dish on the web for this phenomenon.

It's a bit of lark, but I do hope you'll laugh at least once if you read to the end.

Imagine you're dining at an all-you-can-eat restaurant. The restaurant is massive. The self-serve food bar has every kind of dish imaginable, and what's more, there is a construction crew adding more space, and new chefs are constantly adding new entrees, remaking old favorites, and sometimes they even invent new cuisines altogether. All of your friends and acquaintances are there. Sometimes you eat together, sometimes you talk about what you ate, sometimes someone excitedly comes to your table raving and telling you to try something new or an old favorite. There is more than you could ever possibly eat in several lifetimes, and it only keeps growing.

This metaphor is the current state of entertainment in the 21st century for all forms of media: music, movies, books, TV shows, ebooks, audiobooks, podcasts, talk radio, art, comics, graphic novels, manga, webcomics, cartoons, anime, newspapers, infotainment, online journalism, live-streaming, plays/dramas, console gaming, PC gaming, smartphone gaming and more. Thanks to the internet, streaming, global-shipping, viral-meme-culture, commodification-of-the-invidivual-via-the-social-media-grind, (and let's be honest, piracy and archival culture), people have access to and are exposed to more entertainment than they could ever hope to consume in several lifetimes.

So, where does leave the typical diner at this restaurant? Well, as the next paragraphs will show, there is no such thing as a "typical diner." There are no gourmets, no gourmands. There is just the Cornucopia and groups of people wandering the endless salad bar. You can be first in line and pay a premium to experience the brand new dish. You can go back to the same section and reload your plate with the same thing as many times as you want, and people will ask if you don't ever get tired of the same thing. You can be a vegetarian. You can eat only meat. You can eat a bit of everything. You can brave the sneers and jeers of the gatekeepers as you sample something--with tastebuds aglow--for the first time and rave about it to all your friends.

So what kind of dining experiences are there in this cultural canteen, this pop-culture pizzeria, this taverna theatre? What do you see there?

Popularity is the Objective Word Here

When something is popular, it spreads like wildfire. This has always been true of popular culture even before the internet. Humans are social, they tell stories and they share. This may seem obvious, but it's also bedrock for the other observations.

Originality is Dead: Long Live Reboots and Remixes.

Show of hands to three questions:

How many people recognize the reference of a gorilla carrying a woman, climbing the Empire State Building while bi-planes shoot at it?

King Kong right? A cultural icon for many years.

How many people have actually seen the original King Kong (1933) starring Fay Wray and directed by Cooper and Schoedsack?

Not as many right? Maybe you only saw one of the many remakes in 2021, 2017, 2005, 1986, 1976, 1967 or 1962.

How many people are alive today that saw King Kong (1933) in the cinema?

Not many I'll bet.

I'd wager the number of hands goes down with each question. And yet the staying power of the original story remains burned into film history and memory. The point is this. Humans retell stories. This is not a bug. It's a feature. "Tell me the story again of…" There is joy (and profit) in the retelling.

Derivative Reference is Often the Primary Way of Experiencing Pop Culture

OK, so people are sharing things left and right. They're retelling, remixing, rebooting, writing fan-fics, etc. All of this creative effort means that your first-time encountering something new may be a reference, rather than experiencing the original. People rarely experience the true original firsthand anymore. They're going to experience things second-hand.

This is especially true with older media. A first experience with something will often be a derivative reference. An example: Back in the day, in school, we watched Planet of the Apes in class. (I don't know, probably the teacher was hung over.) Want to know how I figured out before the big reveal that the Planet of the Apes was really Earth?

Troy McClure spoiled it for me. In Season 7 Episode 9 of the Simpsons, "A Fish Called Selma," McClure takes an acting gig in a musical adaptation of Planet of the Apes, and he sings the following lines:

Oh my God, I was wrong It was earth all along Yes you finally made a monkey out of me.

So there I am, watching Planet of the Apes for the first time, and Troy McClure's big number starts playing in my head. I sit there in disbelief, remembering the Simpsons, and then practically crying into my desk with laughter.

Probably the teacher thought that "kids these days" don't appreciate cinema, but it was just so absurd to have the movie spoiled by a bit in the Simpsons.

Want to know something else? In doing research for this essay, I discovered that Planet of the Apes film isn't even the original. The original story was a French language novel "La Planète des Singes" by Pierre Boulle. So again, people love retelling, often in different forms of media.

Point is, the longer something has been out, the more it tends to be referenced in other forms. TV talk shows will make jokes referencing the new popular thing. Popular phrases quickly become part of the everyday lexicon. People talk at the water cooler. A tech mogul names their new software after one iconic word in Heinlein's 1961 sci-fi novel.

Any piece of popular culture could be "spoiled" for you at any moment, which brings us to....

Spoilers are Everywhere but Do They Just Act as Adverts?

King Kong dies in the end. Dumbledore Dies. Both of these are spoiler memes (and I'm not sorry), but consider the amount of time passed between the original release of both. How long is the statute of limitations on spoilers? How long before a popular piece of media saturates public awareness so much that it becomes unavoidable? Is this ultimately unavoidable because of the viral nature of advertising, marketing and sharing?

In the modern day, it's increasingly hard to avoid spoilers. I've heard of people going off social media for weeks before a major film release so it doesn't get spoiled for them.

People seem divided on the topic of spoilers, but it's a very good question: Would you still enjoy a story if it was spoiled for you? Shakespeare spoils Romeo & Juliet in the first 14 lines:

Two households, both alike in dignity, In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life; Whose misadventured piteous overthrows Do with their death bury their parents' strife. The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love, And the continuance of their parents' rage, Which, but their children's end, nought could remove, Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage; The which if you with patient ears attend, What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

Do you still want to see the rest of the play? What if it had Leonardo DiCaprio as Romeo, Claire Danes as Juliet and Harold Perrineau as Mercutio? There is something to be said for knowing where the story goes, yet still enjoying the teling of the tale.

I'll go on record and say I don't really care about spoilers. They've become adverts to me, hooks of interest into things I might not have discovered otherwise. I have to encounter new media somehow, and I try to take a positive outlook on it, saying, "I was meant to discover this." If I like something, I'm going to like it unabashedly and still find a way to enjoy it.

Delayed Gratification

If you are PC gamer, let me ask a question: How many unplayed games do you have in your Steam library? Games you haven't even downloaded and opened for the first time. What about unfinished games? Played-once-and-dropped-it games? Now ask yourself: Did you buy this game when it first came out? Did you pay for early access? Would you have still enjoyed it, even if you had to wait a while? Consider the Reddit community r/PatientGamers. They don't care to line up and pay a premium for a brand new release. They know it will still be the same game (often less buggy), and they will even be able to get it on sale. They know the salad bar is vast. There's lots of content, and there's no hurry. They let it come to them when the time is right.

I Don't Want to Hear It

Similar to r/PatientGamers, there is also the phenomona when it seems like everyone is raving about something, to the point where you begin to actively block it out. It doesn't seem to matter what it is; even if it's something good that you would ultimately enjoy. Something about the repetition or the messaging rubs you wrong, and you innoculate yourself against it. You avoid that part of the salad bar at all costs, even if you might like it.

Interpreting the Rules: Remixing as Fan Behavior.

How dooes your social circle play the game Uno? Fandom has a tendency to take what's been created and modify it, remix it according to their own rules, according to fanon's own internal logic. Sometimes it's seen as an act of repair, sometimes a love letter to canon. Sometimes it's shipping characters. Sometimes it is a what-if. What if all these different characters from different properties got together in a story?

Dismay at Media Conglomerate Strip Mining

Has one of the five mega media conglomerates "ruined your childhood" by making a live-adaptation of your favorite childhood cartoon? Well, buckle up, because they aren't going to stop. The big five are hungry for content, and they are actively strip-mining your childhood favorites. It doesn't matter if it's a live action remake of Avatar the Last Airbender or CATS the musical, eventually some studio exec is going to see dollar signs, and your favorite thing is going to get a bad remake. It's best to just accept this.

Further Dismay at AI Strip Mining

If you don't like what the big five are doing, you will hate what AI is doing, and if you're an artist you probably already know you are getting robbed by AI companies. Large language models (also known as Plausible Sentence Generators) and text-to-artwork tools like Stable Diffusion and Midjourney are getting more sophisticated.

They're still scraping the web, and more sites seem to be selling user-generated content to these places, prompting artists to use Glaze and Nightshade to protect their work and poison AI data-models.

People are selling their likeness for permanent use in perpetuity for use in crowds. Lord of the Rings used AI-enabled CGI units in some of the battles, and that was over 20 years ago. How long before they don't hire extras for movies anymore?

The year is 2100. You put on a vid. It is the usual cast, starring: Tu-Pac Shakur's avatar, Hatsune Miku, the latest Disney princess avatar, and the disembodied voice of James Earl Jones. All of the original flesh and blood actors are long dead, but their AI avatars and copyright ramain. Some were never were alive in the first place. It's all necrotainment. You turn off the TV.

Back to the present year, James Earl Jones's voice is now in an AI model, so Disney can give us the same Darth Vader forever. The year 2100 seems not so far away.

On the plus side, there seems to be a growing backlack against AI-generated content. People consider it cheap, shoddily-made and flimsy, and the quickest way to associate a brand as cheap garbage. At the Glasgow Willy Wonka's Chocolate experience event, the organizer used AI generated visuals for the marketing, and people arrived disappointed at the "dirty old warehouse." According to Paul Connell, the actor who played Wonka, the script was "15 pages of AI-generated gibberish."

"I never knew I would have liked this"

OK this is getting a bit grim, so here's something fun: People are getting exposed to other cultures' entertainment, and they like it! Netflix reports that 60% of their users have watched a Korean drama, and they plan to invest USD $2.5 billion in future Korean drama for the platform. Like anime booming outside of Japan in the 80s and 90s, or the British Invasion in the 1960s, people try out other parts of the salad bar, and discover they quite like it.

Archival Behavior

Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet." This is why screencapping and archiving things has become more important. Tweets get deleted, accounts get banned, and users deactivate. Capturing and archiving things here at least preserves some of the conversation.

In the Art of War, Sun Tzu wrote, "If you know yourself and you know your enemy -- and let's be clear the enemy are techbros, who are fundamentally lazy and want to cut corners for the sake of a quick buck and flashy, fake-innovation. Even their own mothers don't love them. They stole this content from Tumblr username whatmathgodwrought, original posting date 2024/03/03, and this should be used as evidence in the lawsuit against the responsible parties -- you need not fear the result of a hundred battles."

If the internet is just 4 websites containing screenshots of the other ones, many are doing the good work of archiving for posterity.

Wasn't this Post also about Tumblr?

Yeah, yeah, we're taking the scenic route. (If you actually read this far, thank you. Send whatmathgodwrought a message and I'll read your blog, maybe reblog some of your stuff, maybe even follow you.)

Let's recap: pop culture spreads like wildfire. It gets retold/remixed/rebooted. Reference and spoilers are everywhere. You can delay and still enjoy a thing anytime, or you can resolutely choose to avoid a thing completely. You can remix, recreate, and fan-theorize canon ideas to their natural conclusion. The big five entertainment corps and AIs are strip-mining the heck out of it. People loves to try out things they never would have had access to before. So, after having some of these kind of experiences, you can post your fandom thoughts on Tumblr, add tags and watch it blow up (or not) or don't add tags (and watch it somehow blow up anyway?). Posts with "10k note energy" have slept for years before someone fired a reblog chain heard round the world. So what makes this environment the Galapagos Island or Cambrian period of websites for this Salad Bar idea?

Repeat and Resurgence

So the thing about a recurring joke is that it keep recurring. People will often write: "I will always reblog this." There are also seasonal examples. King Taejong falls from his horse, Feb 8, 1404. Julius Casear's assassaination on the Ides of March. Voyager's "Threshold" season-2, episode 15, Jan 29th. The clay tablet to Ea-nāṣir complaining about inferior quality copper. People like retelling, and reblogging with scheduling or queue contributes to the seasonal nature of repeat themes.

Tag You're It

Tags kind of help with the spreads-like-wildfire aspect. I've always liked tags as a general concept, because they're a flat, non-hierarchical, multi-category way of organizing information. In the Dewey Decimal system, your number is the category, and that's it; no nuance, no second-guessing, no argument. With tags, you add as many as you want, and then off it goes--haphazardly careening about the Tumblr ecosystem. Tagging is also broken, but whatever.

Goncharov

my favourite thing about the goncharov nonsense is that it relies on the tumblr culture of watching ur mutual posting about something but not really paying attention to it. the reason it slips so easily under the radar is we’re all used to seeing people’s random sudden fixations on our dashes and then just letting them do their thing - you don’t unfollow, you often don’t even filter it out, you just think ‘hey, glad they’re having fun’ and scroll past. i went like two days before realising it was a mass joke because i assumed one of my mutuals was just Really Into some old mafia film from the 70s all of a sudden. because why wouldn’t they be

User @watchmakermori hits the nail on the head. Tumblr's ecosystem exposes the user to random fandoms, which they might like, might look at later, or might actively avoid. It is within that space of ambiguity that the Goncharov phenomena thrived.

Trending By Organic Pollination

On this hellsite, it's possible to completely overwhelm the tags and get something trending, but at least this is mostly driven by human interest. In this case, Tumblr's lack of an algorithm is actually a feature. When a mutual reblogs something, at least I know that a human did it, unlike algorithm-based, auto-served content. We've seen what algorithms have done to Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube and even Google search. Algorithms drive "engagement", endless scrolling, and are likely contributing to Dead Internet Theory. At least Tumblr users are continuously blocking bots, trying to inoculate against AI-generated content, and are reblogging human content.

Parallel Play

Tumblr users' tendency to engage in parallel play also contributes to the remix factor as users reblog, retag and recontextulize. A shitpost becomes educational. Two isolated fandoms collide accidentally because of a poll. Someone makes a spelling error and it goes viral. Users play with JPEGs like dolls. Everyone is just out there doing their own thing in the big sandbox, and emergent behaviors result.

In Conclusion?

This post ended up more Tumblr-positive than I intended, even though that wasn't the original idea. The idea was to be more dispassionate, more objective, a casual observer. But like any participant-observer, I've gotten a bit caught up in the phenomenon.

So let's call this a Love Letter (academically aggravated) to Tumblr. Suffice it to say, I hope y'all keep blocking bots, reblogging humans, spiting the great AI content harvest, and keep enjoying the Salad Bar.

[duckling-king]

Okay so haha @lillithhearts convinced me to write my oc x canon with Vox. I literally started writing this at 11pm last night while we were talking, I'm cringe but I'm FREE. Also shout out to Lillith, I've only had him for one day but if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone on tumblr and then myself /ref

Relationship: OC x Vox, toxic enemies to less toxic lovers except their firmly in their toxic era

Tw: talk of/manipulation of power imbalance, themes of ownership and control, horror elements (idk how well I got that across but that was the intention sjdhhs), pushing/breaking of boundaries, overall just a toxic relationship

Update like three hours after posting: Now officially beta read by me :) JEFHSHHD

Lemme know if I should tag any other tw :]!! I'm always open to constructive criticism (or compliments haha what who said that)

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Hell was as lively as ever, especially in the dingy alley Vox found himself An old theatre stood tall in front of him, dilapidated and crumbling, and barely stable enough to be inhabitable

It was dark. As usual. He couldn't remember ever walking in and finding the building lit up from the inside.

To any other sinner the place would've been unsettling, frightening even. But not to him. He was used to the creaking floorboards, the crumbling walls, the threat of a total collapse of the building. Certainly used to it. Not intimidated whatsoever by the shadowy darkness that stretched in front of him.

A cold, firm hand on his shoulder suddenly shocked him from his thoughts, and he suddenly found himself face to screen with a life size wooden puppet. The face was carved to look like a citizen of cannibal town; a vintage three piece suit made up its torso, with a similarly carved tophat permanently stuck to it's head. The eyes had been hollowed out and filled with what had to be marbles, as if to mimic the eyelessness of the cannibals from Rosie's district.

He stepped back, suppressing a flinch as the puppet tilted its hyperrealistic head, and gestured out with a flourish down the dark hall. It moved like it was held up on strings, and it's makeshift eyes met his own with a strange intensity. Almost as if the marbles were truly staring at- no into him.

That fucker was watching him.

Something about that kicked him into overdrive. He pushed past the puppet with a static charge, heeding it no mind as he used his screen as a flashlight in the dark, navigating his way through the hall, past the rows of display cases, until he found himself stood in front of a very familiar door.

Every time he turned this doorknob he was filled with a sense of sick nostalgia, and every time he saw that fucker's face it was replaced by pure rage.

"Voxxy.. what brings you here?" Virden grinned, resting his chin in the palm of his hand as he tapped his talons on the rotting wood of the desk.

Vox felt sparks run up his arms as he squeezed his hands into fists. This asshole knew just how to get under his skin, and the smug look on Virden's face said he was very aware.

"Don't call me that." Vox snapped, glaring right at him and only getting a condescending pout in return.

"Of course, I'm so sorry.." Virden mocked, as Vox felt aggravated sparks claw their way into his circuits, "Would you prefer.. puppet?" He asked, tilting his head with a grin that made Vox's blood boil.

Electricity crackled through Vox's veins, popping and snapping and biting at his muscles from the inside out, "You know I wouldn't." He growled through his teeth, unable to hide his clear aggravation. He knew better than to rush into an argument with Virden. The display case to his left made that very clear. But fuck was it hard to keep the anger, the static, at bay.

"Fine. You clearly aren't here to have any fun." Virden huffed, going back to tapping his talons along the wood out of boredom. "Why did you request a meeting Vox? Did you miss me~?" He purred, batting his eyelashes at Vox and relishing the way his eye twitched.

"No." He immediately struck down Virden's attempt to tease, feeling as though he was already at the end of his rope, "I need.. a favor from you-"

"Oh? Did you piss off Alastor again, baby?" He purred, raising an eyebrow at him.

Vox twitched. The casual way he asked... the assumption of Vox's lack of power.. the sheer disrespect-

"THIS ISN'T ABOUT ALASTOR!" Vox yelled, voice stuttering and echoing as the electricity in his veins finally escaped, flying out in all directions. "God fucking forbid I show up and ask for one simple favor! I can't be in your goddamn office without hearing bullshit out of your fucking mouth-!"

Vox continued to yell, getting louder and louder and more and more upset the more things he found to say. His entire body felt like a live wire, sparkling and cracking and popping and unable to stop the current running through him. He was on a roll, telling Virden what for, that wouldn't stop any time soon.

As this continued, Virden's smile dropped, replaced by a neutral observation. And after a couple moments of allowing Vox to yell at him, he finally stood up and walked right over to the display case, taking his time to look over each puppet before gingerly picking up one of them and returning to his seat with it. He eyed his own craftsmanship silently, letting Vox tire himself out.

"I mean honestly! I'm Vox! CEO of VoxTech and member of the fucking VEES! People would pay a shit ton of money just to be seen in public with me! I'm not gonna stand here and let you-!" Then, he stopped.

The puppet, laid in the talons of Virden's hand. His puppet. The carved TV head hanging limply off the side of his hand, strings tied tight to every appendage. It looked so limp, as though it had given in willingly to the embrace from Virden's hand, holding it up to be seen.

Then, with his other hand, Virden picked up the puppet by the strings, puppeting it properly. Vox watched silently as Virden absently played with his puppet, making it walk and move however Virden wanted. It looked trapped, distraught, subdued.

"Sorry Voxxy, were you saying something?" Virden smiled innocently, glancing down at the puppet in his hands and making it wave up at it's living counterpart. "I got a little distracted."

"I.." Damnit. Damnit. Virden and his deal and his puppets and- fuck he hated the way that he stiffened up, hated the way his heart sank into his stomach with dread, hated how he could look at that little puppet on the table and see himself so clearly, caught in the clutches of this sadistic asshole all because of a mistake he made decades ago...

"Vox? Are you okay baby?" Virden asked, tilting his head and letting a sinister grin form on his face. He knew exactly what he was doing, and Vox hated every excruciating second of it.

"I'm f-fine." Vox forced out, feeling electricity crackle in the back of his neck and into his screen. He watched as Virden took in the reaction, only getting more delighted by how clearly on edge Vox was.

"Good. Now sit." He gestured to the chair opposite him at the desk, a predatory grin on his face as he watched Vox slowly move towards it.

"Good boy." Virden only grinned wider, as Vox scowled right back. "Now, mister CEO," He taunted, leaning back in his chair and putting his feet up on the desk, wings spreading out behind him. "What favor did you want?"

He could almost feel the strings on his limbs as he took slow measured steps towards the chair. He hated this. God- why did Virden have to be so- then down he went, sitting down in the chair like he had been told. Like a-

And thus their back and forth continued. With Vox yet again being held under Virden's thumb like a bug, being used as a plaything to entertain him. It was a game, cat and mouse, and Vox was loathe to admit that he found himself playing the mouse.

"Alright, so I come to the Vees' little party next week and play bodyguard. Simple as that." Virden hummed, lounging easily in his seat and examining his talons as Vox glared at him.

"Yes. Simple and easy. You show up and take out any competition while keeping our reputation in mind." He spoke through gritted teeth, eye twitching and glitching on his screen as he watched Virden pay him almost no mind.

It was infuriating, watching him lounge about while Vox was kept on the edge of his seat, waiting for the bird to strike for the worm.

"I can handle that.. I've been meaning to collect a few more trinkets..." he smirked, the sight of it sending an electric chill down Vox's spine.

"Good. We're agreed then?"

"We are."

And with that Virden stood, holding out a hand for Vox to shake. "Wonderful, I look forward to working with you again." He spoke, making sure to sound pompous and professional, simply to annoy him even further.

Vox sighed and stood slowly, reaching out a hand that was certainly not shaking as he grasped Virden's hand. A bright light emanated from their handshake as Vox felt the puppet strings materialize on his wrist, wrapping themselves up his forearm as the shackle around his neck weighed him down.

Virden only hummed as the bright blue electricity crawled quickly up his forearm in return, acting as if he didn't feel the sharp pricks of sparks and heat. He acted like he was untouchable, comepletely indestructible. It was infuriating.

"Well, it's been fun, puppet." Vox's eye twitched yet again, the moment proving futile. "But unfortunately, I have a show to write!" Virden smiled, and if he didn't know better, Vox would almost call it sincere.

When they let go, the strings and the shackle faded, granting Vox a moment to take a deep, steadying breath.

"So be a good puppet, and get out." Immediately, the smile was gone, replaced by a glare that made Vox's nerves spark. As much as he wanted to jump over the table and strangle this fucking bird, grab his neck and force him to look into his eyes so he could control him for once. But all he could do was glare as he did what he was told.

Like a good puppet.

[storiesofsvu]

https://www.tumblr.com/storiesofsvu/756561724151414784/ask-game-for-fanfic-writers

How about every integer of 10? 🙏🫡

10,20,30,40,50,60,70,80,90,100

(or less if that's too much)

ooo bless!

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles and how easy or hard is that for you?

fuck. i HATE titles. 99% of the time it's the very last thing I do and half the time i forget about it until i open tumblr to make the post. For one shots i generally read through it again and pick a phrase or repeating word and use that. For series: i'll usually pop onto discord with a brief summary and ask if ppl have ideas, otherwise i have a note in my phone of potential titles that are generally song titles or lyrics. i like my series titles to actually mean something and tie into the story whereas i dont give a fuck about the one shots LOL

20. what is your favourite trope to write?

forbidden love? we're gonna pretend that's a thing lol. like, stories have to have conflict and what's better than two people who wanna fuck/date/whatever and either can't or shouldn't, or like, their bosses would frown upon it, right? like, any and all degree of it, not particularly totally forbidden.

30. most inspirational quote you've ever read or heard that's still important to you.

christ. i cannot think of anything rn. My mind went straight to disney because there are so many things that light up my passion/motivation. the last time we were there we saw the "new" (lol) fireworks show and it had this little speech that was all "no go, let your dreams guide you, reach out and find your happily ever after" and it was kinda the resurge i needed at the time to be all "oh fuck, that's right, i just need to focus" as the old fireworks show had a bit that i like, wished on every fucking night and always made me cry about cause of how i related to it. wow i'm SO cool HA.

in high school (performing arts) certain people got to sign the theatre crossover wall at graduation and i got to and i singed it with a Fosse quote but i cannot remember it anymore for the life of me loll

40. best piece of feedback you've ever gotten?

bruh ive got no clue. i dont get/ask for feedback basically ever. esp recently people have been more just "omg so good" or "next part??" uhh... yeah, i dont think anyone ever has minus like a comment here and there with a friend when spitballing and i have a goldfish brain so i cannot remember.

50. do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind?

bit of both! for one shots it's usually just the prompt i was given/found and MAYBE a bit of a blurb scenario.

series: i will not start until i have a much more detailed outline and a rough idea of how it's going to end. nothing is specifically labelled and as i work on the story the outline gets longer, more fleshed out, sometimes there's full conversations or smut pieces in the outline and eventually ch's get labelled and sometimes it's like "ch 4, they go to this hotel and fuck" lol

60. where is the most dangerous place that you're written fic?

work. was stuck in the bar (that guests dont have access to) during service time with nothing else to do. my manager literally came in and teased me about not working and then later asked what i was working on and i said "fanfic, but that's all i'm telling you cause a lot o its real gay and real dirty" LOL

70. are you ever critical of your own writing? how much do you find yourself editing (either during or after the fact?)

i'm SO critical, but it's like, when i'm rereading it months down the road and it's been posted and too late to edit LOL. and it's mainly me just looking at old works that are SO trope filled and slightly cringe and include lot of the stuff that i no longer write.

I don't edit too much at all lol. I'll catch most typos or grammar while going/on a brief read through but it's VERY rare i'll actually go back to edit a full passage the next day or anything. Hence my very detailed outlines! i will edit from there to the fic cause i'll add to the outlines whenever something sparks in my brain and i know its good lol.

80. do you try to put themes, motifs, messages, morals, etc in your writing?

uhh... no? LOL. sometimes i do, and sometimes they just end up there completely by accident.

90. do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

absolutely. why do you think there's so much profanity? LOL. but also as someone who writes mainly reader insert, there is a little bit of me in every yn i write

thanks for asking!! <3 (and that's never too much lol)

[castlebyersafterdark]

It’s so intriguing how Joseph Quinn entered ST for one season and already has a burgeoning career way stronger than any of the actors who’ve been here for a decade (he’s in a quiet place, the fantastic four, gladiator II, a major alex garland A24 war film, a major elevated horror film, and more to come). It’s like damn, where’s this energy for any of the other cast members? agents, please step up 😤

especially noah’s agent. noah should’ve landed roles post ST2 just like finn did early on

Oh gosh I forgot about that man but yeah, he seems to be popping OFF with big roles. Marvel lead???? Wild. I never could have predicted that one but good for him. I know that Stranger Things has really long filming demands but others have managed to do big roles as well. Not gonna pretend I know that much about the intricacies of all their filming decisions, but it's certainly interesting. I really don't know why Noah wasn't in more (better) stuff in conjunction with ST but maybe it's what his family decided?

now this is all interesting because i agree with vinny about noah's post-ST career. ST is something of a bubble; did you see that parody where it was called 'the worlds favourite TV show every three years' ? basically, most people - the industry peeps who make things happen and the viewing public - forget about the show until a new season comes out. its a cultural phenomenon rather than a stalwart, and i think it's going to continue to generate a loyal fanbase for decades to come, much like nerd classics like star trek. i can totally see this cast coming back again and again for reunion cons but not necessarily having varied, successful careers.

i think they are great actors in ST, but something about the ensemble cast and the magic of the show is what works for me. everything i've seen anyone do outside of ST has been disappointing tbh. i thought finn had quiet beauty in Saving the World, but if I saw that and didnt know who he was, I probably wouldnt think he was a giant star or follow his career. The youngest actors especially, in s1 and s2 they threw so much of themselves into the roles that I believe these characters now belong to them, are part of them. (Imagine: it's 2050, and Stranger Things is being rebooted. I can see Finn and Noah coming back for cameo roles, Mr Clarke or something, and old fans going wild.)

But I don't feel that way with B characters like Eddie/Joe Quinn. You have to consider that he was hella charismatic and is considered a good actor, period, not just within the show: he's a seasoned british theatre actor with roots in the biz. he's sort of like what jonathan bailey is to bridgerton, getting all the roles despite his castmates being super talented too. it speaks volumes about the kind of characters that the general public want to see + that the industry is willing to write. we've seen the steddie fandom here: joe has one hell of a demographic lapping up his stuff, and he's riding a fame wave of hot white twenty-something male, similar to Paul Mescal... and considering how fast pop culture/hollywood moves these days, I wouldnt be surprised if he too fades away after a few years of great success (like J. Law). He could also fuck it up with one wrong comment and get cancelled within the year lol. It's just so hard to predict.

but vinny was probably right on with noah being young - child stars rarely expand beyond one franchise/film while theyre that small due to legal filming limits and school commitments etc, and because theres so few child roles in hollywood. so comparing a young noah's talent and career with joe quinn's, who was an adult when he joined ST, doesnt really make sense.

+ this isnt really on topic but i personally would prefer them to fade and be happy and healthy than grind away and become jaded by the industry or have many flops. i already think finn worked too hard as a teen and has basically developmentally lived his twenties before his teen years, and is now sort of going back to that teen mindset and experimenting with music and chilling and doing things a teen should. when he said he had abandoned his career goals to focus on personal ones like 'being comfortable in my own skin', i rejoiced and also cursed the whole fame thing for just being so fucked up. his goal is to be 'a happy and healthy older person' - i mean, that made me cry dude. the implications and subtext of that statement! and people are out here thinking they should all be happy and fine cos theyre rich and have fancy cars and all these fans. like, tell me you don't know anything about what it means to be human. 🙄

Excellent points and discussions, all very real. Agreed. Thank you !! ❤️❤️

[sisterwolfsbane]

MINORS GO AWAY, THIS IS A KINK BLOG

I'm awake, reminiscing on when I realized that I had caught feelings, then shortly after fell in love with my boyfriend. I know he's gonna see this and come up in our Discord server or even this ask box like 'WHAT?' 🤣 I'm sorry, love, bear with me lol.

So, I think it was November or December of 2023, when I first felt something stir. I quickly dismissed it for a few reasons:

One, I was stoned off my ass, and two, it had only been a month or two, since I broke up with my ex of nearly half a decade. It was too soon.

"Huh... Am I feeling attracted to him? ....No, Wolfsbane, you're stoned, go listen to Uncle Acid and The Deadbeats."

Except the feelings didn't fade the next day I was sober. They were still there, even after I took a tolerance break for a good while. And then when I realized I had in fact fallen for him, there would be periods where I'd feel this deep sadness. A longing.

Now, I hear you going, "Sister, why didn't you tell him??"

Because at that time, he still saw me as the sibling friend. (We're not related, at one point in our friendship we referred to each other as siblings)

And I didn't want him to think I was weird or some shit, I didn't want to cross that boundary from friendship to romance. I didn't want to be so quick to confess my feelings. So, I did what I normally do with scary emotions- that I'm now working with my therapist on- bottled it up.

I never said anything for a long time. I thought keeping it inside was the best course of action until, maybe, just maybe, he'd feel the same way, one day.

This didn't exactly work because so many times, the emotion 'leaked out' so to speak. By that I mean, I caught myself staring at any selfies or pics he sent for longer, complimenting what I found the most pretty in said selfie.

And then I did a very millennial thing lol. I know people my age did this on MySpace- and still do it on some platforms.

I started posting bits and pieces of song lyrics to express the now storm of emotions on my old side Tumblr lol. Mainly Sleep Token. (Yes, sweetface, that's what that was >///<)

I started listening to bands like Death Cab For Cutie, and my dramatic, musical theatre ass listened to 'On My Own,' God knows how many times, feeling like Eponine, even though he wasn't in love with someone else sdgffgdfgfg I was an absolute disaster and nobody knew it lol.

Cut to April this year. Around January or February we decided on being platonic partners because we were so close. I still hadn't said anything yet but oh man, it was building.

Around April, we were having another one of our deep talks like we do every so often. It was mainly how we couldn't believe we'd been friends for three years now, and how much the both of us have changed.

At one point, he said he saw myself as more to him than just a platonic or even romantic partner. That his love for me went deeper than that. He saw me as more than just a soulmate too.

(Note at the time, we came into the belief that we were each other's soulmate, due to the circumstances of our friendship. It is not my place to talk about his personal stuff but we believe there was a reason we met for sure.)

I told him, I did too. And that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life without him.

And now we're here. Planning a marriage for when we meet, move in together, and spend more time with each other. We're not going to rush! I don't think I've ever been this happy and nor have I ever felt this way about another person. Not even my ex.

I love him to the moon, back and beyond the farthest reaches.

[windslar]

People You'd Like to Get to Know Better

i was tagged by @druidberries. Thank you!!

Tag under the cut because I went on a whole spiel about a popular novel that catches a lot of flak online and I don't know how to shut up (spoiler: it features 20-something-year-olds who open up brick-and-mortar businesses in downtown Boston like it's nothing, and trash in the form of a man named Kyle with an R).

Last Song: From the Start - Laufey

Favorite Color: Sage Tint by Benjamin Moore

Currently Watching: Only Murders in the Building and Modern Family (I watched the first couple seasons but never finished it. It's such a good background show).

Last Movie: Last one I watched in the theatres was Oppenheimer, but the last one I watched on streaming was Disenchanted (lol). I need more James Marsden in my life, especially after his performance in Jury Duty.

Currently Reading: It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover. Before you get the pitchforks, I'm only reading it because of the ~discourse~. Besides, I had it downloaded in my Kobo long before it really blew up on tiktok and my curiosity was reignited after I saw the uproar about the casting. I have a lot of problems with this book: (1) it's not well-written and I should've put the book down the moment she started writing letters to Ellen Degeneres and thought she was a good celebrity for being charitable, (2) it doesn't delve into the systemic issues that play a role in why women stay with their ab*ser, (3) the marketing for this book ain't shit for categorizing it a romance novel. BUT, all my problems aside, I don't think the story itself romanticizes domestic ab*se and I think most readers recognize this (see this Slate article that talks about it better than I could). Here's an excerpt:

It seems like this part of the novel’s plot could be read in two very different ways: one, which the Mary Sue seems to pursue, is that Lily doesn’t react to ab*se in the appropriate way, and the book endorses all of her choices, and therefore both deserve condemnation. The other is an exercise in empathy: Hoover wrote an imperfect book on domestic violence, but if we require all of these narratives to be morally unimpeachable, there’s no room to acknowledge that there is no such thing as a perfect victim.

I haven't finished the book, but I read Kyle with an R doesn't get a satisfying comeuppance proportional to his actions. And while it would be nice to see the trash taken out, isn't this ending plausible and representative of a common experience among families with a history of ab*se?

I think my big criticism with the backlash surrounding this book and others like it is the assumption that their readers are "impressionable young girls". Not every work of fiction needs to portray the protagonist as a hero in every sense of the word. Not every positive quality assigned to a villain is "making the character redeemable". Not every work of fiction is meant to be didactic and scrutinized as if it were instructions on how to live a perfect life. Maybe I'm giving more credit where it's due, but I really think most readers are able to think critically. People love reading about complicated characters in messy situations. And while I think the characters in Hoover's book could be written better and fleshed out a lot more, that is neither here nor there. My point is: stop assuming women are stupid and incapable of forming their own opinion. Enjoyment of fiction is not endorsement of the actions exhibited by deeply flawed characters.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Savory. But after writing all that and posting it here on tumblr, maybe SPICY.

Last Thing I Googled: That Slate article so I could link it and before that I googled Blake Lively and learned that she has 4! children.

Current Obsession: Rowing! But only if I have an episode of Modern Family playing.

Currently Working On: TJOLC posts, Lightflower is kind of on the back burner right now on account of I-hate-posing-sims and the next few scenes require a lot of it. I just wish there was AI that would pose my sims for me based on dialogue I've written. I would betray my principles, climb up the paywall if I have to.

I'm tagging anyone who sees this and

(ETA: look at me getting cut off by my own self. Sorry I was distracted and heating up some food while typing this, but yeah, I tag anyone who sees this.)

[jdsmineralwater]

im writing this now because since i saw the news ive been seeing red and i know that anything i wrote while so blindingly angry wouldn't come across the way i intended it to. so here i am. still very angry, but able to put cohesive words together that make sense and i can post.

when i was five years old i met my best friend. they have cerebral palsy and at the time used a wheelchair to get around. since they got the surgery that allowed them to walk, theyve used crutches. ever since i was old enough to understand, my friend and their mum have told me about all of the horrible experiences with ableism my friend has faced in their sixteen years of life. for my friends own privacy im not going to go into more detail, but from these experiences that i have had recounted to me, ive developed an understanding of how shittily disabled people are treated in every aspect of society. i, myself, am able-bodied, and can only imagine what it must be like to be at the receiving end of that ableism. noone deserves to be treated like that. ever.

ricky potts was (and understand how much it pains me to say 'was') a rare bit of representation for disabled people in theatre. im under the impression that ricky wasnt disabled in the original canada run (please correct me if im wrong) but ever since ride the cyclone came to america he was. the moment you decide to make a character disabled, you are agreeing to putting the work in to make the character a good representation of that disability, and you do not get to go back on that decision. you make the representation, you make it good, and when its brought to your attention that the representation isnt as good as it can be? you fix it. removing the disability is not fixing it. its lazy.

replacing rickys degenerative disorder aside, the representation of the replacement (traumatic mutism? i think) is also shit. ptsd doesnt go away in the afterlife. it stays with you. you dont forget the traumatic experience just because youre dead. its adding insult to injury.

the ableism in this world is already too much, why are you adding to it? fuck the mccarter, fuck arena stage, and richmond and maxwell? i thought you were better than this.

save ricky potts.