#Then you must be doing something wrong

[aestariiwilderness]

[hootgrowlbears]

The experience of being singled out by a teacher as unexceptional since day one. Trying something new and getting endlessly questioned about the why, the how. For months, going to class and giving up on doing well because it's not like this teacher ever cared about you anyway. Being berated in front of your whole class for your slipping grades and not knowing what to do about it.

And then the flip. In the middle of the year apparently something you did was impressive. Your teacher is friendly with you in a way they never were, and your sudden success was all a part of their plan, their method. "This is what I was trying to tell you, and you finally got it!".

You convince yourself of that too, grudgingly. It all worked out. That teacher really did know best after all. All that stuff at the beginning of the year, all that stuff for the two years before that, that was fine. It was all part of the plan. The humiliation and the stress and the nights spent wondering "What am I not getting about this?", were all necessary.

It's time for teacher evaluations. All fives.

[nicollekidman]

buffy knows spike loves her during season five. buffy knows spike loves her when she comes back and seeks comfort/silence in his presence. and as she comes back to herself and tries to make peace with the fact that she’s Here Again, she still knows he loves her. and i think part of the Big Bad Grabbing The Slayer For The Darkness routine they both cling to is that it allows them to pretend this huge thing isn’t between them so they can get what they both want (someone to stay).

and like obviously buffy cannot allow herself to believe that he loves her for many reasons, but she DOES believe it, she can’t make herself unknow it even though she tries so hard. which is partially where the breakdown with tara in 6.13 comes from because the cognitive dissonance of soulless spike loving her as if he has a soul while she is so lost within herself that the only way she can reach for him is to use him (which would be fine if he was the big bad grabbing the slayer for the darkness) which is hurting him! unfathomably! but he’s supposed to be the corruption! how can he??? any of it???

meanwhile spike has watched the woman he loves be brought back as a shell and he wants to see the light in her eyes and he can touch her now and sometimes that’s enough to make her laugh but he can’t linger in those moments or she’ll go away again! so he can play the role he needs to play so she’ll stay, as if he could keep her anywhere she didn’t want to be. as if he wants her to be in the dark instead of bringing him into the light. but how could he ask for anything more when he already got her back and he didn’t even need to kill her afterwards.

and so they hurt each other and he forgets himself and asks her if she even likes him and it’s too honest and he’s asking too much (he asks for nothing) so before she can throw her life away like it’s nothing, he puts the game face on, makes himself a target, and swallows it all. and she can’t unknow. and it would all be fine except he’s a vampire and she’s the slayer and how can he just say it like it’s nothing when she needs to beat his face in just to keep from screaming.

[kanjichris]

"why don't you want him to know how much you love him?" "that's a little personal. he knows." "uh-huh."

[phoenixmetaphor]

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selkie au - take what the water gave me - part 2-1: drinking game

SORRY, i am splitting this part up. i will bomb your dash with like 5 pages at a time, maaaaaybe 6. but this is going to be at least 8 pages. i haven’t quite got the end laid out yet. the good news is pages 5-7 are sketched. the bad news page 5 as like 10 panels on it, wtf.

i told you we’d get to explicitly selkie bits and here we are. i swear one of these is not going to be set in a bar one of these days.

anyway, thanks again to @thebrandywine for the selkie brainrot. mav’s selkie fic [call of the sea, call of the moon] — the thing that inspired this, the second cake — is now being posted! so please check it out.

[SELKIE COMIC PART 1 HERE]

this comic is also on ao3 (requires login)

[uncanny-tranny]

[dykedvonte]

Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.

The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.

It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.

In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.

[inuyashaeienni]

I love this fandom ���️

Inuyasha

[elliewiltarwyn]

Roevember Day 8: Meal

This is it... isn't it? This is the sort of thing I've been fighting for all along.

Good friends sitting down for a good meal, letting past hardships and tomorrow's worries fade into the background.

Seeking joy in darkness, buoyed by that radiance - finding small moments of joy to sustain us, give us the strength to carry on day after day...

The strength to find...what matters to us.

bonus: hilarious and slightly disconcerting not-quite-bug i encountered while setting up g'raha in particular

[cosmic-light-fics]

The Girlfriend Montage

I can't shake this moment from my mind and some interpretations of moments like this in this season have gotten me mad, so here's what I've got to say about the girlfriend montage. Carmy telling Richie he's gotta call his girlfriend, then we get splices of scenes containing Carmy making food for Claire, Claire working in the hospital, and for reasons that are highly debated by some but seem completely obvious to others including myself there are scenes of Sydney interjected into the couple's montage.

I have my thoughts as to why Sydney is in the montage but that's not the point I want to linger on, not now at least.

I am going to focus on this part in particular: the one where Sydney is undressing and we see the Three of Swords tattoo.

To me, nothing is unintentional in this show. Nothing is inconsequential. And this small, two second shot of Sydney proves that in more ways than I can think of.

What I can't shake is how freaking similar it is to a scene we will later see in ep. 9. The sex scene with Carmy and Claire. It's an intimate moment. The room is cast in blue hues. It's all close up shots, quick cuts, and we can barely make out who is who and what is where. The moment is completely intimate and sensual in all the ways a romantic sex scene typically is conveyed.

And it matches the picture above nearly identically.

The choice to show the audience Sydney's tattoo bathed in this blue light that they will later use for Carmy and Claire's sex scene, the choice to capture this extreme close up, the choice to include the strap of her bra and a tattoo with an image that symbolizes heartbreak and betrayal, the choice to put one of the most intimate and vulnerable shots of Sydney in this montage meant for a couple is.... pretty indicative of the romantic undertones hidden in Carmy and Sydney's connection. The first time I saw it, I was blown away by how intimate of a shot that was of Sydney. We've never seen her like that - undressing, her skin that is always covered exposed, seeing for the first time that she has a tattoo. Just like we never saw Carmy like that in his sex scene with Claire, him being so intimately exposed.

I don't know how else to interpret it. Because all of what's stated above is not coincidence. The creators of this show didn't coincidentally put scenes of Sydney into the couple's montage and they definitely didn't mirror the imagery from the picture above to the sex scene in ep. 9 on accident. Just like how they didn't coincidentally have Carmy think of Sydney to calm him down during his panic attack.

[mourn-and-watch]

so if solas sees himself in the inquisitor because of how they were made a leader, a prophet and a symbol by people who followed them, just as fen'harel had been made a leader and a saviour for by the freed elven slaves, will he see himself in rook because they're left alone against the threat they can't possibly defeat without singlehandedly making decisions that will impact the world in unknown ways, just as fen'harel had been left alone against evanuris with no other option but to create the veil

[pendraegon]

thesis updates: sent the draft to my advisor -> she said it was "incoherent" and that she was "shocked" at my work and instead of telling me anything in detail as to what's wrong directs me to the writing center then proceeds to cc my committee members saying that she's at a loss with what to do with me -> was confused because... did i send her the wrong draft?? it seemed pretty solid to me?? like i was genuinely proud of it??? -> next day she sends me another email saying that actually my draft isn't bad at all and it just needs some reworking ???????

[millenianthemums]

parents of disabled kids will be like “we know our kid is disabled but we just won’t tell them about it. we don’t want them to think they’re less valuable than other kids. we don’t want them to feel limited by their disability, we want them to know they’re capable of anything.”

meanwhile those kids are growing up thinking “why is everything so much harder for me than it is for everyone else? there’s no reason i shouldn’t be able to just do this. i guess i’m just a failed, broken person.”

[magpie-trove]

%

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Imagine you're Mr. Wu and your weird gay daughter runs away in tears after destroying some unespecified object while yelling about you ruining her life. Because you told her you'd be moving to another state. This is the last time you see your daughter in half a year, and when she comes back, she comes back... wrong. She's wearing a light leather armor, a fur-lined cape, and a green flower crown. She has two long scars, one alongside her spine and the other along her chest, the tissue around them covered in burn scars. Doctors say she shouldn't have survived. Doctors say she didn't. Yet she's right here, in front of you, hospital gown clinging to her small, fragile, trembling frame. She fidgets with her hands. Getting her to stay still has always been difficult, but now it seems impossible. She won't let go of her phone. She's always texting her two friends. When you take it away, she gets anxious. You always knew those damn phones cause kids to act weird, but your kid having a panic attack seems too extreme, even for her. Then again, she's always been odd. Nowadays, she wakes up crying and screaming almost every night, and you realize she's been stealing her phone from your bedside drawer every night to text her friends, returning it before you wake up. You catch her once and decide to give her that damn phone back. It's the only thing that calms her down, as if she were a baby with a pacifier. She spends her last weeks in LA clinging to her friends, having sleepovers and playing her weird board games with them. Everytime they drop her back at her house, there's an excessive amount of hugs and tears. But the moments when they call her, or when she leaves to meet with them, or when they show up at their door to pick her up... those are the only moments in which you see her happy. One of her friends, the rude and disobedient one, came back with a big scar on her face. She's been acting a lot nicer, though. The other one too. She acts a great deal more adult now. You doesn't know what happened or where your daughter went. She won't tell you. But you can tell this friendship is the only thing keeping her afloat right now. Maybe you know, deep down, that no one else would understand.

And then you decide to move anyway because fuck her amirite

[birdy-bird27]

Visualization of how I feel about spamton