#because everyone always told me i was being ‘dramatic’ or ‘too sensitive’ and eventually i decided they must be right

[millenianthemums]

parents of disabled kids will be like “we know our kid is disabled but we just won’t tell them about it. we don’t want them to think they’re less valuable than other kids. we don’t want them to feel limited by their disability, we want them to know they’re capable of anything.”

meanwhile those kids are growing up thinking “why is everything so much harder for me than it is for everyone else? there’s no reason i shouldn’t be able to just do this. i guess i’m just a failed, broken person.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to tell an ex-friend why I broke off our friendship?

So me and this ex-friend (let’s call him John) had been friends since we were in kindergarten. John is white and very securely upper middle class. I am mixed-race white and Cherokee, and am solidly lower middle class. Our friendship was based mostly on the fact that I was autistic and nobody wanted to be friends with me, so he swooped in and “saved” me from having no friends. As kids, we were super into fantasy stuff. By we, I mean he was and I pretended to be. In our larger friend group, I was always sidelined in favor of a (white upper middle class) girl who John had a crush on. Me being a background character in activities/groups that were supposed to include me is a running theme in my life. When John gave me attention, I felt like I was special and stood out from everyone else. When he didn’t give me attention, I felt like it was my fault nobody noticed me except to ridicule me. When K think about our friendship now, the red flags pop up often and frequently.

I have a younger brother, who is about two years younger than me. He quickly became friends with John, and often joined us in hanging out. As we grew older, the things we did when we hang out didn’t age with us. John and I were in, like, fourth grade and still pretend-fighting in fantasy settings because he wanted to, and I just went with it.

So, I don’t clearly remember the inciting incident, but once when we were hanging out, when I was in late elementary school or early middle school, John assaulted me. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t sexual assault but I’ve tried to block it out of my memory, and it was over something small. I think I might have accidentally hit or tripped my brother and didn’t want to apologize, because my brother had threatened to hit me earlier, and I wanted him to apologize first. I don’t want to get too deep into the assault, but I was pinned down and forced to apologize to my brother, who stood there and egged John on. John said he would his family’s wealth to make sure nobody would believe me, and told me nobody would want to associate with my family if I was public about the assault. I eventually escaped, and I didn’t tell anyone for about a year.

From a few weeks after the assault until literally this month, John has been trying to get in touch with me. I’ve told my mom to pass on the message “You know why we can’t go back to being friends”, to which he responded (via him telling his mom telling mine because I’ve cut off contact with him) that he doesn’t know what he did and he just wants to hang out with me again. Which. Nah. Absolutely not. He keeps persisting, and I have to go to the same school as him this year for the first time since third grade (I’m in high school). My brother keeps taunting me with this information, and I’m just so tired of him acting like it was me just being a dramatic. I know he doesn’t view assault as “that big of a deal,” but damn. I’m his sibling. He also keeps hassling me about reconnecting, and has repeatedly said he won’t leave me alone until I provide an “actual” reason to not be friends with John? He claimed I was being an “unfair asshole”, a “drama queen”, “too sensitive”, and a “bitch” about it.

TL:DR My ex-friend who I had a pretty fucked-up relationship with and who assaulted me wants to reconnect with me despite my desire to go completely no contact. My brother thinks I’m the asshole for this, and that I’m making a big deal of not wanting to interact with the ex-friend at school this year. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[kavehnanginto]

pot, meet kettle

pairings: kaveh, itto x reader

synopsis: whiny and hot men smartly decide to date the only one who can match and even beat his charisma and annoying remarks, and everyone is stuck dealing with both of your dramatic characters

tags: you are very much annoying, sweet names except for babe or baby because i hate it, fluff and cuddles, they are very sweet, fun fact the creation of this fic was made because a little birdie told me to do this i just added itto because he is my man,

Kaveh swears he is a logical man, a rational man who desires nothing more than peace and tranquility. no one really agrees with him, with all the bickering with alhaitham and squabbles with dori his reputation of being sensitive is set in stone.

But with you around it truly feels that what he said was right. Compared to Kaveh and you, Alhaitham would rather spend time in hell and dead in a casket. So whenever you were around and in his house, the scribe just seemed to disappear out of nowhere. And you were now always alone with your man.

"Why would you use that as a painting, its too abstract?" you comfortably conquered the couch while watching Kaveh hang the ugliest portrait you have ever seen since the last time he hung one. "I literally went on this five minute walk to Alhaitham's house just to see you hanging this ugly portrait rather than spending time with ME."

He gasped at such comment, he can't believe he heard such nonsense from someone as attractive and ethereal as you.

"Darling, this isn't just some painting, this cost me--"

"So? Is my worth also measured in material value? Hang that painting in the wall or you'll continue to be my lover." With the painting out of the way, you were soon delivered with happy cuddles from a beautiful portrait such as he.

"Now will I continue to be your one and only?" you pat his head, thinking about it.

"Do you really think such measly act is worth my time," he shook his head. "Now let's sleep."

He obeyed and went to sleep smoothly and always remembered to bring you to every art auction after.

Everyone had their own opinion about Itto. He was loud, obnoxious, and the reoccurring theme about his public display of affection. It was getting out of hand, even to some member of his gang (Shinobu). But to you, it was simply not enough, the mediocre singing, the wilted flowers and most recently, your very own cow.

You keep on telling him that this is not what you want and say that you will eventually return feelings once he had given you the right thing. The fact of the matter is you already fell, but he really thought a cow will make you happy. I mean it did, but let your pride take you away.

Also a goat will be nice next time, and then you saw him once more, no longer with his trusted companions, but just him.

"So pumpkin, how is your amazing self today?"

"And that is the first thing you say to me? I am here offering my time and company for you!" you huffed and he immediately apologized. "Also I'm doing great! Want to commit some crimes today?"

And just like that both of you went on a spree, you insisted he holds your hand or he never will hold your hand ever again, and also that he will bring the cow with you. It seemed that Shinobu has a lot of explaining to do, but it seems you are not in trouble.

As the day came into a close, Itto realized that commiting war crimes are even better if the person he likes is around him. But as the day comes to close, and this day of temporary joy has reached its end. The lovebirds said goodbye.

"Until we meet again, my dove." you walked away slowly, the sunset brightening you eyes.

"Farewell, my fair master." he bowed and...

You saw each other again after 45 minutes.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Hey darling ❤️ love your writing 3000 :) can u do one with Bucky x reader (they’re together) where he overhears the reader on the phone with her parents that are emotionally & verbally abusive towards her (they always have been) and the reader has to explain it all to him afterwards even tho she’s having a panic attack (bc she’s afraid bucky will leave her since she has no one else to go to ??) and bucky comforts her and reassures her that he’s gonna be there for her and like comfort fluff? I live in an emotionally abusive and manipulative household rn and I tell you your fics are like an escape for me. Even if u don’t do this thank you from the bottom of my heart :)

Hey there, I love you 3000 ❤ I am so so sorry to hear about your situation, and while I'm glad to hear that my writing is an escape for you, I want you to know that I'm here for you. No one should have to go through what you described. I hope that this can bring you some comfort but please, I encourage you to reach out to someone who can help you. My DM's are open as well, you shouldn't face this alone. I'm here for you!!!

You owe them nothing

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3200 (ish)

Warnings: emotional abuse/gaslighting, manipulation, parent issues, tears, angst, breakdown, fluff.

---------

You really tried to keep it hidden. It wasn’t something that everyone needed to know about.

Your parents loved you, at least that’s what they had said. But it was one of those things where you felt like it was for show - the kindness that they showed when you were around others faded away once you were alone with them.

You remember once they had said “of course I love you, I’m your parent!”

But that made you wonder how they would treat you if you weren’t theirs.

They were horrible to you for as long as you could remember. Gaslighting you and making you feel like you owed them something even though they were the ones who should have taken care of you.

They were around but never…there. They would be there for family dinners but they were always riddled with criticisms of grades and who you were talking to and how you dressed. All of your hobbies were seen as a waste of time, something you should only do when you had nothing else to do. School came first, naturally, but there was always something they told you you had to do before you could do anything for yourself.

Yet when you would complain about being depressed, they told you to get a hobby because you never do anything.

Tired meant lazy, energetic and passionate meant loud and annoying. When you were quiet they thought you had nothing to say, yet when you expressed your opinions you were told to shut up.

You couldn’t win.

You could never make them happy, there was always something you were doing wrong.

They thought it was their right to monitor who you talked to and saw, what you did outside of school, what sports you could join. When you would say no to the school dances or parties you would make up an excuse about not wanting to go or having work to do. Your friends would call you a buzz kill. Little did they know you would give anything to go.

Whenever you would do something wrong (or anything, period,), your parents would yell at you. They would curse you out, make you cry, only to yell at you for crying like a little bitch.

The older you got, the worse it was.

You thought when you moved out it would be better. But you had all these years of being told you were worthless and having them be your providers. When you got your own place you didn’t really have any friends, nor did you really know how to make friends. You had a job to help you get by, you could support yourself. That wasn’t the issue. You could support yourself, you always had to.

It was that you were so lonely.

You wanted friends but you were so afraid of the criticism you would get. You were afraid to make yourself known, because you were always taught that being told what to do and taught what to think was much more appealing than having your opinion.

But this was an opinionated world.

You were good at what you did, so good that you had gotten a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. You thought that would make you happy, more importantly that it would make your parents happy, but no such luck.

“I got a really great job, guys.”

“Fantastic. I guess you’re just doing so great without us,” they had snapped.

“What? I mean… this is what you wanted right? For me to get a good job?” you had said, confused.

You heard a loud sigh on the other end of the line. “Of course we do, what are you crazy about? Of course we wanted you to get a good job but you just deserted us like we were trash. Have we done nothing for you?”

You felt your heart sink in your stomach. ‘Of course you guys have, I love -”

“Don’t say what you don’t mean. If you really cared about us you’d be helping us out. You got a great job and probably have a huge paycheck that you hoard and you left us here to struggle to make ends meet.”

You took the phone away from your face temporarily to take a shaky breath. Of course they would go there with the salary, why wouldn’t they? All of your paychecks had gone to them, since it was their house and they were feeding you, leaving you with barely enough money for your car and gas and phone bills, only for them to suggest longer hours when you complained.

“I can help you guys out if you need,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

You heard an exasperated sigh on the other line again. “You really should be more grateful, you know? We raised you your entire life and then you leave us alone? You never even call us? You’re so fucking selfish.”

Then the line went dead.

You shook your head and felt tears in your eyes as you spoke to yourself. “Well maybe I would call you if it didn’t always yell at me.”

Of course, you would never say that.

See, it wasn’t so bad. You never said anything because they were only ever mean to you, which would make you uncomfortable. There were people out there that would get hit or who would have to raise themselves from a young age. Once you grew thick skin it wasn’t so bad, you were just being dramatic.

Right?

Your new job was fairly successful, you were fantastic at what you did. You did a lot of behind the scenes work, weapon repair and plans of action with missions. Not that they needed much help with that. Still, they took you in as their friends.

Well, as close as you would let them get to as friends.

It took a while before you warmed up to them. Everyone tended to keep to themselves, but not as much as you. You kept the parts of you hidden away - you were there for a job, you did it, and you did it well. You knew how to do your job but interacting with the team, making friends - you didn’t want to get emotionally attached.

Not like you knew how to make friends to begin with.

Naturally you were drawn to the quieter side of the team, once you were able to open up. They were all nice but sometimes the parties and the jokes were a bit much. You just didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing that would make you the punchline.

No one needed to know about you, or how you would spend your free time being yelled at through a phone with you trying to make it better. That wasn’t part of the job, so you shouldn’t bring it up.

It wasn’t like anyone would want to help. You were just a nuisance to everyone around you.

Right?

No one talked about their life before the team much. Not many people on the team had a great life before the Avengers first came together. Natasha or Wanda had once spoken about how this team was a family. And as much as you wanted to believe it, you helped the team. You weren’t a part of the team. So even if that were true, it didn’t include you.

At least, that was your point of view.

The team viewed you as a part of the team as much as any of them. You didn’t fight with them but you made sure everything would go as smoothly. You were kind and great at what you did, but they wished you would open up more. Of course, being a team of people who had trouble opening up, they understood.

Bucky was one of the ones who took a liking to you, mostly because he saw a lot of himself in you. He could tell there was something that you were trying to get past but weren’t quite able to yet. That there was something bothering but you wouldn’t dare say it for fear of bothering someone. You threw yourself into projects and distractions and from the way you carried yourself, he guessed you were avoiding something that you weren’t ready to work through. At least, not yet.

He knew that feeling too well.

The ex-assassin was one of the easiest for you to open up to because he didn’t expect much from interactions. Both of you were quiet and kept to yourselves that there wasn’t much pressure to share anything or say anything. You knew his past but would never bring it up unless he wanted to. Which eventually, he did. You could tell he felt pressure to be who he was before HYDRA took him, and while Steve was surprised he opened up to you first, you weren’t. Steve knew Bucky before everything, and you didn’t have that bias. He was whoever he was today regardless of who he was yesterday.

And Bucky found comfort in that.

You think you would’ve too, if you thought you deserved it enough to do the same.

See, you were worried that you were making everything worse than it really was. You worried that maybe you were being too sensitive or that what you had grown up with was normal. With everything that everyone on the team went through, a few insults from your parents was hardly anything. You were being dramatic.

There was nothing to be sad or angry about. You just had to get over yourself.

Right?

You were getting by until one night when your parents called, as they did on occasion. You were in the middle of working, so you ignored it. The phone went to voicemail before it started ringing again, and you ignored it, again. The third time you sighed and picked up your phone, turning away from your work.

You took a deep breath before you answered. “Hello?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

You closed your eyes and brought a hand to rub your head. “Well I’m doing fine, thank you, how are you?”

“Don’t give me that attitude. What the fuck are you doing? You’ve been ignoring our calls.”

You stood up to pace the floor slightly, dreading the conversation that was coming. Is it the ‘family is most important’ or the ‘where’s my money?’ speech today? “I’ve been working.”

“What, so work is more important than family now? Is that what this is? You don’t care about us?”

Family speech it is.

“Dad -”

“What if one of us was dying? Huh? Would that be important?”

“Stop it. No one is dying, and I was working. And I have more work to do, so I really have to go.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, I’m your father.”

Gaining confidence you gritted your teeth and snapped, “You know what? I’m an adult now so you can’t tell me what to do.”

There was silence on the other end of the line and you could practically hear the steam coming out of your father’s ears.

At some point Bucky had come down to your working space to check on you, seeing as it was nearly morning. He stopped in the doorway, and seeing you were busy on the phone he thought he would stop by later to give you some privacy. But he stopped when he heard you snap.

You never snap.

“Who do you think you’re talking to you ungrateful little bitch?”

“I’m talking to the people who treated me like shit my entire life and ask me for money when you wouldn’t give me the time of day for 18 fucking years.”

Even you couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. But god did it feel good to say them.

“Are you fucking serious right now? We did nothing for you? What do you think we’ve been doing your whole life? We’ve done everything we did to help you be the best person you could be. You have that job now because of us and you have no right to speak to me that way.”

You chuckled darkly as you looked up at the ceiling, unaware of Bucky’s presence behind you. “My entire life all I’ve ever wanted to do was make you guys proud of me. But you know what? I’m fucking done. You hated me, gaslighted me, and made me hate myself almost as much if not more than you seemed to hate me.”

“I did no such thing you ungrateful -”

“You were supposed to love me and care for me, and all you did was take advantage of me. I’m not your child, I’m a paycheck. I don’t owe you anything because you gave me nothing. So you know what? FUCK. YOU.”

You hung up the phone and tossed it across the room, adrenaline taking over your body as you tried to stop shaking. Because a small part of you felt bad.

But fuck did that feel amazing.

You heard a throat clear behind you and you turned around to see Bucky, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“You okay?”

You nodded nervously, rubbing the sides of your arms. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, unconvincingly. “How much, uh...how much did you -

“Enough,” he said, pushing himself off of the door frame as he crossed over to you. “Who was that?”

“Bucky, don’t, it’s really fine. I just got a little worked up.”

“Y/n,” he started, looking at you with concern. “Who were you talking to?”

“No one.”

“You don’t get upset like that at no one,” he took your hands in his. “Y/n, you're shaking.”

It was then that you realized your hands were still shaking, trying to keep the anxiety of what happened at bay.

It’s going to be so much worse now.

I can never talk to them again.

Is that a good thing? Didn’t I want that?

Bucky could sense you getting lost in your head. “Sweetheart, tell me what happened, please. I want to help you.”

You pulled your hands away from his and crossed your arms. “You can’t help me because there’s nothing wrong, okay? I handled it, it’s over. Done. nothing to worry about.”

“Y/n -”

“No really, there’s nothing you can do, okay?”

“Will you at least let me try?”

You looked at him, adrenaline starting to drain from your system. This was Bucky, your Bucky, who had never done anything but love and support you. He had never done anything to hurt you.

But what if he left you too?

You took in a sharp breath and curled in on yourself, a scared look on your face. Bucky crossed back over to you, seeing a scared look on your face.

“Hey, hey, y/n? Can you look at me?”

You brought your eyes up to meet his, feeling your chest constricting as you tried to keep your breathing even. It wasn’t working.

“I - I’m sorry, you shouldn’t… I’m fine really I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

“Hey, it’s alright, it’s okay, you have nothing to apologize for,” he pulled you in for a hug and kissed the top of your head. “Let’s go sit down, okay?’

He led you over to your bed and you leaned forward, hands on your knees and head in your hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happening, this - I’m sorry, it’s so stupid, I’m so stupid.”

Bucky rubbed a hand up and down your back, hushing you. “It’s not stupid. If it’s bothering you, it’s not stupid.” Bucky took a small breath. “Do you remember all of those times after nightmares and all those panic attacks you would walk me through? How I thought I was being stupid?”

“You weren’t being stupid”

“And neither are you.”

You took some more shaky breaths as tears kept falling down your face. “You’re okay. It’s alright, I’m right here.”

Bucky let you calm down, knowing you would talk about it if you wanted to. He wanted you to talk about it so he could help you (and hurt whoever upset you) but he wouldn’t force you into telling him anything you didn’t want to.

The two of you sat in the silence, Bucky looking at you with soft eyes as you kept your face hidden.

“I haven’t told you a goddamn thing about me. You ever wonder why?”

You looked over at Bucky, eyebrows creased with slight confusion.

“They said blood was supposed to be thicker than water. That family comes first, right? I spent my whole life listening to them and following them and being the perfect kid. I made myself into everything they wanted me to be. And it still wasn’t enough for them.”

Bucky tilted his head slightly. He hadn’t known his parents much before they died but he had always wanted to have more time. But he wasn’t oblivious to the fact that not everyone had good parents.

“You know, I remember thinking that once I made it they would be happy. That if I worked hard enough or went onto do great things that they would be proud of me. That’s all I ever wanted, you know?” you said, voice wavering as you let out a bitter laugh. “But it’s not, you know? Never is, never was, never will be. All they do is take and take and no matter how good I am they’re always gonna hate me because I can’t be perfect.”

“No one’s perfect, y/n.”

“Well that’s what they want me to be. I know I can’t be perfect so I know they’ll never be happy. That they’ll call me ungrateful and selfish for succeeding and for leaving them when they never wanted me to be there to begin with.” You felt tears spill over as you wiped them away. “And I’m ust so fucking done with being a disappointment to them and to everyone else.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I don’t know,” you said softly, not really wanting to be more vulnerable.

Bucky, sensing this was a time he could push you, challenged you. “I think you do.”

You shook your head. “I didn’t want anyone to see me the way they did. I thought what they said wasn’t true but...I just thought that maybe I was overreacting. Other people have it worse you know - some people have no parents or some have it so much worse. Mine just yell at me you know? Tell me everything’s my fault and that they wish they’d never had me. That I’m ungrateful for not being with them and that I owe them. I just...I heard that for the first 18 years of my life. I didn’t need any more of it.”

“y/n, that’s…” he swallowed, trying to contain his anger. “That’s not normal. No one should have to go through that. You can’t possibly think you're a bad person.”

Your shrug was enough to tell him that you did.

“Y/n, I don’t know who your parents think they are but you don’t owe them a damn thing. You may be related to them but you have no obligation to love your parents if they treat you like that. You have every right to be angry or to hate them. It doesn’t make you a bad person to be angry with someone who hurt you.”

“But they’re my family.”

“Well they didn’t treat you like it. You have us now, you don’t need them anymore. We’re your family. And we’re not gonna leave you.”

“They didn’t leave me Bucky, I left them.”

“You can’t leave someone who was never there for you.”

----------

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[ashintheairlikesnow]

For Kauri and Chris: it doesn't work as well as you hoped, does it?

(follows Time Apart)

CW: Former pet whumpee, past noncon references, fucky headspace around consent and SERIOUSLY misconstrued response to assault, some hardcore angst going on here, internalized victim-blaming

Chris feels fingers move through his hair, gently sweeping the shaggy copper to one side, and opens his eyes to see Kauri leaning over him. His wide blue eyes are warm, understanding.

"I saw Laken leave," Kauri says, gentle, and sits next to where Chris has curled up on his side on his bed. His fingers continue to run through Chris's hair, tingling over his scalp, a soft and subtle reassurance, words he doesn't have to hear. You are good, you are a good boy. "You want to tell me what happened?"

Chris closes his eyes again, turning his face to his sheets, to the faint scent of laundry detergent and the soft rustle of them against his skin. He tries not to see Laken's face, reddened and wet with tears, as they walked away. "We, we broke up."

Kauri's fingers pause - and then start up again, the moment so barely-there that even Chris almost misses it. "You broke up? Did they break up with you, or you with them?"

"Um. I, I, I thought they broke up with, um, with with me but then when they came over, they hadn't? But we just-... I, I broke... I broke up with them." His voice trembles, throat threatening to close up around the words, and he exhales, rocking himself forward and back where he lays, rubbing his hands reflexively over the seams of his pants, seeking out the soothing feeling of the texture there. "I told them I, I, I can't be with them anymore. I made them go."

This can't be the end, Chris. Not like this. Laken looked like he'd slapped them, their face pale and red both at once, eyes wide, dark pools demanding he take it back. This can't be the end of the line for us.

Then, then, then what is? Just, just go. I don't-... I don't, don't, don't want this any longer, for you. You shouldn't-... I, I, I'm... just go home, Laken. You shouldn't, shouldn't have, have wanted a whore anyway.

Chris. You know you're not-

I know I am! I, I, I almost had-... I almost-... I almost cheated on you last night!

Laken had swallowed, lips barely moving. You what?

I let, I, I, I let someone touch me, and it felt good, you know? It felt good. I, I, I got-... I, I got turned on by it. Like a fucking- He'd heard Handler Petrus in his mind, felt him against his back, the weight and heat of him, whispering into his ear while he sobbed. I'm still just a fucking slut. I'm, I'm, I'm still what I was, and it won't ever stop and-... just fucking go, Laken! Just get out and, and, and and and and-... and, and-

Chris, please-

Just fucking go home!

Chris-... baby, god damn it, I don't care if you-

But I do! Get the fuck away from me!

They'd left. Chris had listened to their footsteps running down the stairs and out the door, heard their car pull out of the driveway, and he'd cried into his pillow until it was damp, until he couldn't hear their car any longer. His phone buzzed twice, a text from Ben and another one from Akio, but he didn't answer.

He didn't answer when they called after that.

He didn't answer Jake calling to him from downstairs, he didn't answer Antoni in the doorway, he didn't answer any of them at all. He just stayed right here, on his bed, and knocked his head into a pillow he held against the wall until he calmed down enough to stop.

And then he cried more.

His head pounds, a dull throb, and he feels dried out from all the tears. Like he'd been crusted with salt, like his professor who told the story about Lot's wife and Orpheus and Eurydice. Don't look back or you'll turn to salt, you'll go back down into the empty places alone.

He can't not look back.

He groans, smacking himself on the thighs reflexively, repeatedly, as if he can stop his thoughts that way.

Kauri doesn't try to stop him, only pulls his hand back to give Chris the space to move. "Did you want to break up with them?" He asks, simply. His voice is calm.

"No. Yes. I, I don't know." The seams of his pants aren't enough, and Chris breathes against the sense of a chaos inside of himself, a swirling mix of self-hatred and grief. His hands move up to tap on his stomach. Finger-twist-tap-tap-tap. It doesn't help as much as he needs it to. "I didn't... want them to, to, to have to be with me."

"I think Laken is capable of making that choice for themself." Kauri sits slowly back against the headboard, breathing out, his eyes moving over the messy contents of the bedroom. The pictures Chris has taped haphazardly up on the walls, the shelf with his stim toys on it, his computer on the desk half-buried in a pile of clean clothes he hasn't folded. "If they want to be with you, that's their decision. Do you want to be with them?"

Chris wants to say yes, but the word sticks in his throat. His heart pounds inside him, all out of rhythm. He just nods against his sheets, and feels Kauri brush fingers through his hair again. "But, but, but, but I'm, I'm not worth it, I'm t-too hard, I'm still a, a, a pet too much."

There's a silence. Then, "Is that what you really think?"

He'd love to be able to say no. He'd love to be able to say he's being dramatic. But instead, in a small, soft voice, Chris whispers, "I just. I just. I, I, I don't know a-any-anymore. I... Yes."

Kauri is quiet, and then his hands are on Chris's face, wiping away with his thumb a tear Chris hadn't even realized had escaped. Chris had flinched from the same gesture when Laken did it, but he holds for Kauri.

"Oh, honey. I used to think that, too." Kauri sighs, and Chris opens his eyes, looking up at him, seeing a faraway expression.

He shifts, moving to rest his head on Kauri's thigh, a silent request for the petting through his hair to begin again.

Kauri smiles, a little faintly, a little sad. His fingers move over Chris's scalp, settle over the top of his scar, start again. "I did that for years, Chris. I told myself I was a pet, just another Romantic, that I deserved everything I did to myself and I didn't deserve anything better. I woke up in alleyways and on park benches and sometimes in the beds of guys I couldn't remember meeting. I got... I got hurt by some of them, and I told myself it was what I wanted. I got drugged a few times, I drugged myself a bunch more. I tried to make myself not want to be cared about anymore."

Chris thinks about the taste of gin and olives down his throat, throwing back dirty martinis until he threw them back up again, until he couldn't stop hearing Sir's voice inside his head, feeling his lips against the back of his neck. Hands on his hips, phantom ghost touch, moving him into position.

"It... didn't work as well as I'd hoped. Every time I told myself I didn't deserve love, even when I believed it... that didn't mean I didn't still want it. Need it, even. But I wanted, so badly-..." Kauri's voice catches, and his eyes close, briefly, as he steadies himself. "I wanted to make sure everyone around me hated me as much as I hated myself. But God, Chris, it hurts so much to live that way. Don't... don't be like me. It took me years to realize I didn't deserve that pain, that I didn't deserve to be punished for leaving Owen."

Chris is silent, now. Kauri's voice is always almost hypnotizing, deep and a little melodic, and it settles some of the buzzing awful noise inside of him.

"I had to learn-... to accept... that what happened to me makes up a lot of who I am, because it was the thing that made me, but it isn't all of who I am. And if I keep repeating the patterns I came up with to protect myself... I'm not really protecting myself at all." Kauri smiles, a little. "I'm only laying siege to myself, and I'm the only one who starves inside the walls. I-... I built those walls, and Jake kept trying to knock them down, and I kept building them higher. And Nat would throw food over the wall, and I'd throw it back. And... I think I got a little off track. My point is that... is that I shattered myself, over and over again, because shattered is what I was taught to be. But eventually I had to admit that breaking myself into pieces was just cutting me up, not anyone else. Do you understand?"

Chris swallows, his throat opening a little bit, and he hums. Kauri's leg is warm against his ear and his cheek, his hand is warm over his hair. Chris grips onto the silicone feather he wears always on a cord around his neck and runs it over his lips, feeling the carved vanes move against thin, sensitive skin. "Kind of."

"You try to see the light in everything," Kauri says, and the love in his voice makes Chris smile despite all his pain. "That's always been what made you stronger than me, Chris. You saw the world as full of good things you were here to discover. You never hated yourself like I did. I don't want you to start now."

"How... how did you, um, did you learn to to to stop?"

Another long exhale. Outside, two birds are singing in the trees. "Time, mostly," Kauri says, finally. "And... that guy I went home with once, when I came back all... fucked up. Remember that?"

"Y, yeah."

"I realized... I realized, when Jake was helping me up the stairs, that every time I tried to push him away, he was still there. And every time I hurt him, or Nat, or Antoni, they were still there. And that you were-... you were so new, Chris, and I was teaching you this really awful idea that you can't get better, and I couldn't do that any longer. I couldn't. It's not instant, and there are backslides, and some days getting out of bed is the hardest thing I've ever done. But I do, because I love the life I've made, and I know you love yours. You worked so hard for this, Chris, for everything you are and you've done since you came to live with Nat. Don't give that up because... because you're struggling. Don't let them win by convincing you you can't be anything else."

"I'm so-... it feels like a shell," Chris says, and pushes himself up to sitting, legs out to one side, tucking his head into the crook of Kauri's neck. The older man's arms move around his waist, holding him close, one hand moving up to keep stroking through his hair as he bites down on the feather, chewing on the familiar plastic. "Like I, I, I built a shell, and when Nova-... it cracked."

"Yeah. I know how that feels." Kauri turns his head, pressing a kiss to the top of Chris's hair, easy and comfortable. Chris hums around his feather, rocking just a little. The rising tide of grief inside him threatens to become a wave he can't withstand. He pushed Laken away, too far away, he made them leave him.

He broke up with them.

He made them go.

He can't take that back.

"Listen to me," Kauri whispers, lips against his scalp. "When I was at my lowest, when I hated myself the most, when I demanded Jake abandon me to what I kept telling myself I wanted... he didn't. He was still there. He was still there, and even if we weren't going to be together, he was still willing to help me stand up as a friend. When I was nothing but pieces drawing blood, he still loved me. He loved the pieces as much as the person, and he helped me put myself back together. It's not perfect. It's not overnight. And you'll still have hard days. But it's worth it, Chris."

"Why? Why, why, why is it worth it?"

"Because the world is beautiful," Kauri says, repeating his own long-ago words back to him, and Chris almost smiles. "Because I love the world, now, Chris, and I decided to try as hard as I can to love myself. I learned that from you."

"What if-... what if, if, if it's too late? What if I can't t-talk to them, or-"

"Then we'll stand you back up from there, and start moving forward again. You'll never lose us, we're family, Chris. But I think you should talk to Laken, and tell them what you're feeling, and let them decide how to react instead of deciding for them. They love you." Kauri puts a hand under his chin and lifts it, so their eyes meet. "Let them love you hurting just as much as they do when you're not."

"What if I don't... want to try any longer?"

"Then we'll be here to help you through that, too. All of it. Any of it. For better or worse, Chris, I'm your big brother - and so is Jake, and so is Antoni - and you're stuck with us whether you like it or not."

Chris tucks his head back down so Kauri can't see the tears well back up and run down, even as they soak into his shirt. His teeth grind down on the silicone plastic between them.

"I, I, I fucked up, Kauri," he whimpers, and then starts to sob. "I didn't-... I, I, I just don't w-want to be in m-my body anymore..."

Kauri holds him close.

"I h-hate it, I hate it, I hate it," Chris wails, and Kauri rests his chin on Chris's head and lets him cry. "I hate being p-pretty, I hate my, my, my, I hate that they made my body like this, I hate that I g-get scared and and and, and, and I can't stop things from happening to me, I h-hate that I hurt Laken, I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it!"

"I know," Kauri whispers. "I know, honey. I know."

"I h-hate myself-"

"Sssshhhh, I know."

Chris doesn't know how long he cries for.

But eventually he falls asleep in Kauri's arms.

-

@burtlederp @finder-of-rings @endless-whump @whumpfigure @astrobly @newandfiguringitout @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @whumptywhumpdump @whumpiary @orchidscript @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @eatyourdamnpears

Playlist for this piece:

Lewis Capaldi: Hold Me While You Wait Rob Thomas: Pieces Vienna Teng: Between Aerelie Brighton: Breathe Josh Ritter: Girl in the War Beth Crowley: Runaway Train

[hanatiny]

Cry For Your King

gif by @barnesbabee​ ♡

a/n: ‘tis finally done, part two of Bow To Your King - read that first if you haven’t yet! hope CFYK lives up to the quality of its predecessor~

pairing: demon king!Hongjoong x f!reader

genre: smut

word count: 2469

warnings: sir kink, pet names, teasing, dirty talk, oral (f receiving), edging/orgasm denial, overstimulation is mentioned, dacryphilia, extremely vaguely implied exhibitionism, implied breeding kink, implied corruption kink, very slight possessive undertones, reader acts like a brat for a solid 0.5 seconds, Joong has piercings & tattoos (the latter are only briefly mentioned), brief mention of unconventional toys, strong language

-----

You officially married Hongjoong and were crowned as the queen of the underworld not too long after the 'incident' in the throne room. That must've been nearly two years ago now, you mused.

In human years, anyway - you were quick to be told that time flowed differently, much slower, in the underworld. And you felt it too, because while two years weren't much, you did notice that days and nights both felt much longer than they used to.

You certainly weren't complaining about it, in any case, because it meant more time to spent with your demon lover, whom you've been trying to find for a good while.

He had adamantly been avoiding you for the past week and if you did run into him outside of your shared bed late at night, he'd be pressing his lips together tightly and making up nonsensical excuses to not kiss you on top of that.

You figured he was just extra busy but you were still fed up, to say the least.

Your husband has been avoiding you and, as his closest confidant next to you, so has Seonghwa, and nobody you asked could give you anything more than a shrug as an answer as to why this was the case.

With a pout on your face, you huffed as you sat down on your large bed.

If Hongjoong wasn't going to spend time with you, a nap seemed like the most logical thing to do considering you didn't really have anything else to occupy yourself with presently.

You rolled over on the mattress, pulling the blanket up to cover your body as you curled up into a ball. You tossed and turned but you weren’t able to catch much rest, especially not once you felt the mattress dip behind you before a calloused hand ghosted over your hip.

You knew who the hand belonged to, body going rigid as you inhaled sharply.

"I know you're awake, darling...~" Your husband's sultry voice whispered near your ear, coaxing a soft whine from you in response.

Your refusal to react, even if you failed in your endeavor, amused him greatly. After all, it was only a matter of time.

Hongjoong knew you better than you knew yourself; he knew which buttons to push to make you break, to make you tremble beneath his touch and moan his name loud enough for everyone in the castle to hear.

He leaned in and allowed his lips to brush over the exposed skin of your shoulder near the demon mark on your collarbone, letting them curve into a grin when he felt you jolt and shiver from the brief contact.

“Easy there, honey. It’s just me~” He purred into your ear and you whined once more, louder this time.

“It’s not just you, Hongjoongie,” you pouted with a huff, his expression softening momentarily at the nickname as he nudged you to turn onto your back, compliance almost immediate, “You’ve been avoiding me for the past week and a half, why-”

Hongjoong hushed you with a finger to your lips, his eyes widening before he regained his composure when you kitten licked at his digit.

“All in due time, love. You shall find out about my motives soon, very soon as a matter of fact~” You could practically hear smugness and sadism both dripping from his voice, and it sent another shiver through your body while he pulled his finger back before replacing it with his lips briefly, but not long enough for you to be able to distinguish the foreign sensation that clung to your husband’s lips.

When he pulled the blanket away from you and let it fall off the bed, he licked his lips and his eyes flashed their signature red as he shifted himself to kneel between your instinctively spread legs.

Suddenly, you understood. You understood why Hongjoong kept avoiding you while he smirked knowingly, pausing his actions to allow you to process

Thanks to the passionate glow of his irises, you were able to clearly see the jewelry surrounding your husband’s mouth.

In hindsight, you mentally chastised yourself for neither seeing nor putting two and two together beforehand - it should’ve been clear to you that the reason you and your lips were being avoided for so long was that Hongjoong had gotten a variety of piercings and was allowing them to heal.

Snake bites, a lip ring as well as a stud decorating his tongue that you spotted when the organ darted out to moisten his lips.

"Like what you see, princess~?" Your surprise must have been palpable, if the gallivant edge in his tone was anything to go by.

“I like what I’m seeing immensely, but I thought my title was queen~?” You teased, although immediate regret settled deep in your gut when Hongjoong tilted his head to the side slightly and gave a crooked smirk.

“Not when you act like a spoiled brat entitled to me and my attention, it isn’t. Now part those pretty legs for me more, like I know you want to...~”

You shuddered, but stubbornly refused to budge.

“Ah, I see how it is. Precious little brat thinks she’s in charge hm~?” He growled savagely, the red hue of his eyes darkening dramatically as he clicked his tongue.

“Stupid mistake... Do you even deserve to get what has been prepared for you specifically? Or would you rather just have me watch you fuck yourself on my sceptre, which I’m aware you’ve been wanting to do when I’m not around~?”

Mouth agape, you were left stunned at Hongjoong's words while his lips curled into a triumphant grin.

From the very first day on you had been told to tread carefully, that he had eyes and ears anywhere even if you weren't aware of them till the moment of truth came, that he'd know your every secret eventually.

You didn't believe in that at the time but you definitely did now and you knew there was no point in denial, so you drew your bottom lip in between your teeth and wordlessly, finally, did as told.

Hongjoong purred in approval, his hands ghosting over the skin of your already trembling thighs. He had one more ace of his sleeve, a literal one at that, but he’d save that for another time.

“So you can follow the orders you’re given... My good little kitten wants only Sir, doesn’t she? Wants him more than anything and anyone else hm~?” His voice sounded taunting and deep near your ear.

You didn’t even realize you had closed your eyes until they shot open moments later in surprise when you felt Hongjoong’s hot breath fanning over your ear. “Well~?”

You nodded frantically with a small whimper, growing needier for him as the seconds ticked by, and you knew he could tell. He always could. “Y-yes! Only want Sir, nothing and noone could satisfy me like him~”

Hongjoong chuckled endearingly, amused by how your voice betrayed you, “Sir’s the only one for you my darling, the only one worthy of having you like this.”

You enjoyed the possessive growl that followed as it sent a shiver down your spine, your husband’s eyes flickering with mischief in response while he shuffled downwards to settle between your legs, his face close to your throbbing core this time.

His fingers carefully pushed up the hem of your nightdress and hooked into the waistband of your panties before pulling them off with ease, his eyes twinkling in amusement as they rose to meet yours.

“So cute how wet you are for me already... This worked up about just a few piercings~”

You whined, feeling caught as your cheeks flushed in half embarassment and half arousal while he let a finger glide smoothly over your slick folds with featherlight touches.

"My darling wants me to make her feel good, doesn't she?" You could essentially hear the taunting grin in his words, your reply coming out more high-pitched than intended.

"I-I do~!"

"'I-I do' what, baby?" His tone was mocking and it felt like your face had figuratively caught on fire.

You had to actively swallow your pride to answer; while it wasn't particularly unusual for you to beg for his touch, Hongjoong hardly ever forced you to do it like this.

"I want Sir to make me feel good, please it's been so long...!"

Although meek and breathy, the way you pleaded appeased Hongjoong. He brushed his thumb over your swollen clit, and you jerked in reaction as he chuckled lowly.

“So sensitive...~”

“Only f-for Sir...~” Came your weak reply, and Hongjoong’s expression softened deceivingly before you felt his plush lips press lightly against your nub, the cold feeling of the metal contrasting the warmth of his skin and sending a shiver rushing down your spine.

Based on your reactions so far he knew you weren’t ready for what was to come, his lips curling into a sadistic grin while he trailed gentle kisses down your slit before stopping right at your entrance.

At times like this you cursed the fact that he let his hair grow out a bit over the years, as it tickled your inner thighs teasingly and it took every ounce of self control you had within you to not squirm violently from how sensitive you were.

You dared to tentatively lift your head to see why Hongjoong appeared to be hesitating, only for it to drop back to where it was onto the pillow underneath as your lips trembled before finally parting in a vulnerable mewl when his tongue slipped inside of your entrance.

It amazed you time and time again how he had become such an expert in pleasuring you with just his tongue or fingers, sometimes with both at the same time.

He lapped at your sex as if he was a starved man, moaning exaggeratedly at your taste for good measure, and it brought you to a sort of bliss you rarely felt so intensely.

Your soft cries grew louder every time his tongue dipped in between your dripping folds, and when he then paused to look at you, right before you could come undone for him, Hongjoong swore he almost came in his pants at the sight.

Your chest heaving with ragged breaths, your lips parted in sinful whines caused by the sudden lack of stimulation and your hair was sprawled out messily around your head. But to Hongjoong, the most beautiful part of it all was the tears that welled up in your hazy eyes. He knew you well enough to know they were tears of pleasure, and knowing that he caused them was enough to make his dick twitch as you begged for him.

His previously innocent, soft-spoken darling had become someone who'd ask for the pleasure he provided for you and the way he filled you up so often he might as well think you were addicted.

Your sobs only served to fuel his thoughts more, "P-please Sir, need to cum so bad! Please~!"

"God..." He groaned, willing his instinct to just go ahead and fuck you into the mattress until your voice became hoarse from screaming to take a backseat in his mind.

"You're so gorgeous, angel. I could do this to you all goddamn night...~" Hongjoong's purr both unsettled and excited you, causing a gasp to sound in your throat as he went back to working on your aching heat.

You didn't know what the foreign sensation was this time until you felt Hongjoong smirk against you and slip his tongue as deep inside of you as he possibly could.

You didn't know how it worked, or where he hid the remote if there even was one, but didn't care in the slightest - his tongue piercing could vibrate.

He proceeded to bring you right to the edge with it, to the point of needing a single touch to hit your orgasm, back down only to build you up again with his expertly technique.

Two or three times, you weren't exactly sure how many times he repeated the process. All you knew was that tears were now streaming down your face unhindered, your body trembling and writhing in pleasure.

"That's right, baby... I want you to cry only for me, cry for your king..~!" Hongjoong's voice sounded so breathy and borderline erotic, it made you believe he was getting off on the sight of your tears alone.

And he did get off on it. So much so in fact that he pulled away from your pulsing core, afraid he would be unable to control himself much longer and wouldn’t be able to cum inside of you like he wanted to.

You whimpered, starting to get fed up with the amount of edging your lover had already done that night. “Sir-”

“Hush, kitten.” He interrupted you with a growl, although you frankly couldn’t say that you minded, “You’ll be allowed to cum soon~ But not on Sir’s tongue...”

You tilted your head at his words as he trailed off, your bottom lip jutting out in a mildly confused pout. He groaned under his breath, muttering about how you’d be the death of him sooner or later while he busied himself with freeing his painfully hard cock from his pants, thankful that your shared bedroom was dark enough for you to not see the black ink peeking out from underneath his sleeve, even with the faint moonlight shining through the window.

It was something for you to get excited about later, he mused, before positioning himself above you and lining his tip up with your entrance. Your hands balled into fists in anticipation, bunching up the sheets in the process.

Before Hongjoong could finally enter you and give both you and himself the relief you so desperately craved, however, the door creaked open. Your husband didn’t have to turn around to know who intruded, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“I’m sorry, I just heard y/n crying and thought-”

“Well I think you should leave, Seonghwa.” Hongjoong bit back, clearly annoyed at the older man’s intrusion of such an intimate moment.

“I-”

“I told you to get the fuck out if you want to keep your head on your shoulders past tonight...” Afraid he would be in genuine trouble if he didn’t obey, Seonghwa slammed the door shut again.

“Now, where were we-”

You swore you could see Hongjoong’s form shaking with rage at the comment he heard next, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t serve to fuel your arousal even more.

“Oh by the way, he got his dick pierced too.”

You blinked up at your husband with wide eyes while his cheeks flushed, the man once again grateful for the darkness of the room hindering your ability to see.

“You what?!”

----- Taglist:

@barnesbabee​ @cometoceantrenches​​ @ddeonghwva​  @galaxteez​ @illicit-roses​ @latte-fairytaekwoon​ @little-precious-baby​ @moonlit-lixie​ @multidreams-and-desires​ @nightqueennyx​ @truebluejoong​ @vocalyunho​ @yunhoes-twancings-nsfw​ @yunhoiseyecandy​

Network tag:

@8makes1teamnet​

[liquid-luck-00]

WonderBug

Angst Edition

Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) x Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Ladybug)

I am late. SO, so , so late but here it is

1: Soulmates @maribat-angst-fluff-april

My partner is the wonderful @thedragonbug

Ao3

Fuffy Edition

Soulmates exist, and Marinette hates hers. You see everyone is born with their half or part of a complete soul mark. The other parts would appear when you were closer to your soulmate and be permanent when they were close emotionally. For everyone, the appearance or 'drawing' of the mark was light and warm. But not for her, no her drawing was heavy and hot, like a hot knife digging into her arm.

Her parents knew this, and it was concerning, to know that their child was in pain because of their soulmate. Seeing as the marks were not supposed to be painful. Yet as there was no good reason given by medical and mark professionals, and the fact that her soulmate didn't stay near her for long there was nothing that they could do. They did tell her that few, this phenomenon affects one in a million people and she was just lucky enough to be one of them.

Over the years she grew used to the pain, but every time she did it would come back even stronger than the last. She slowly hated her mark and in turn her soulmate. Marinette would cover her mark, ignore it, even wish it away. All her soulmate did was bring her pain. Sure, it upped her pain tolerance, but it hurt her still.

When she turned fourteen, she became Ladybug. She then recognized that her mark was actually the wire of her yo-yo.

The first time Chat Noir claimed they were soulmates she broke down in tears. luckily for her he told her during patrol and not an attack.

"We aren't soulmates, Chat, and I'm glad we aren't." She nearly whispered.

"Why Bug?"

"Because I hate my soulmate, and I don’t want to ever hate you."

"Why would you hate your soulmate?" He seemed genuinely curious. But no one outside her parents knew, not a single person knew what happens to her.

"Because it hurts when they are close, it hurts so badly. The drawing is painful. I never want to meet the person who keeps hunting me." Tears formed in her eyes and Chat hugged her.

"I'm not your soulmate, then." She shook her head. "Good thing I'm your partner, and Plagg help me I am going to be your best friend. Got that Bugaboo?"

A half-hearted chuckle and a small smile escaped her. "Sounds good Kitty." The first person she has ever told, the person who was convinced that they were soulmates, cares for her, to help alleviate some of her pain.

The two became inseparable after that, to the point that most of Paris believed they were in a relationship.

When Nadia asked them about it during an interview, their reactions were memorable. Both all but gagged, turned to face each other, and then laughed almost falling out of the seats.

"I believe we have missed the joke." Nadia commented, worried, and confused.

"Why would I date my sister?"

"Sister?"

"Ladybug and I consider each other siblings in all but blood."

"Everything between us is simply platonic, not even close to romantic.” Ladybug answered after Chat.

“Then why would the whole of Paris believe you to be soulmates?” She may be good at hiding her pain, but the question must have made her react slightly, or Chat knew how sensitive the topic was to her.

“We aren’t soulmates, not the bonded ones that everyone thinks of.” He began. “We are the holders of the black cat and ladybug respectively because our souls resonate with the miraculous. Sure, they are two parts of a whole, but we are practically twins, two halves of coin. She is the sister I choose, she is my partner, and that is our relationship.”

“He’s completely right, now I think it’s time for us to start our patrol, BugOut!” Her smile now in place and their excuse to leave perfectly timed and respectful they made their exit.

They went on their patrol as normal, except just as they arrived at the Eiffel Tower to end the patrol. She was about to land on the platform when a searing pain flashed and radiating affecting her entire body blinding her momentarily. A single moment caused her to collapse on the tower landing, crumpling on the platform.

“LB!” Her breath came out in short bursts, she was clutching her upper arm eyes squeezed shut. This was the worst it has ever happened before, and she wanted it to end. As soon as the cause of pain came it disappeared. Leaving only the memory and a phantom pain.

"Just give me a minute." She slowly got her breathing under control, starting to get accustomed to the new level of pain.

"You weren't kidding that is the worst I’ve ever seen you hurt."

"Yeah not fun."

---

A month after that her mark burned again. This time during class. The teachers knew she would randomly stop due to pain, but they were told they were random migraines. To the point Mari would hold her head and rub her arm to sooth herself, while playing up a headache. Adrien stayed back after the class let out." You know you don't always need to put on a brave face Bugaboo."

Her attention snapped to him. "Well it's easier than constantly answering questions Kitty." She figured quickly.

Sure, they found out one another's identity, but that worked in their favor. After Tikki got sick, Fu started training Mari, and after a month Marinette was given guardianship. Fu still hasn’t lost his memories because Mari let Wayzz stay with him, for the time being, he eventually returns it to Mari in order to move on with his life, his memories fading gradually.

When Adrien got his hands on the grimoire, he of course showed it to Marinette.

“Kitty I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think your dad might be Hawkmoth.” This seemed to perfect for him to have without him being a villain.

“I know, but…”

“Adrien is there any motive anything that might be what he would wish for?”

“My mom. Dad closed himself off when she disappeared. I bet he would wish for her back.”

“Okay, so I’m going to be blunt okay.” He nodded. “So, if your mom is dead there isn’t anything that can be done without the wish, meaning at least one other person is dying.”

“So…”

“But if she is anything but.” She flipped through the grimoire recalling the studies she’s did with Fu. “There are ways we can find or even heal her.”

“This is all riding on an if.” He looked unsure as if this was too much to accept.

“Do you trust me?”

“If I didn’t, I would have turned tail and run a long time ago.”

“You dork.” She lightly shoved him, but he swayed dramatically.

“You two are close.” The new student in their class came up to them.

“Lila, right?”

“That’s right.” She answered sickly sweet, almost fake. “Are you two soulmates by any chance?”

“No.” Adrien answered. “Why?”

“You’re Adrien Agreste! Why would you be in public school?” She finally seemed to recognize.

“Let’s just say it’s a bit of rebellion.” He chuckled.

“We’re still on for video games, right?” She brought up to end the conversation seeing that Adrien was getting uncomfortable.

“Your winning streak is going down.” He announced.

“You want to join us, Lila?” She offered.

“Why?”

“Because your new and I want to get to know you.” Marinette answered honestly.

“Why?”

“Because we know you lied but still want to know you, the real you.” Adrien added.

“Why?” She asked suspiciously now.

“Question! Is it a felony to kidnap her to play video games, have snacks, get to know her, then let her go?”

“Well the kidnapping part is but if she goes willingly, I call that a hangout session.” Adrien mused.

“True, true.” She hummed. “So, what do you say, because now I am determined to get to know you.”

“Wh…”

“Kidnapping it is.” Adrien decided and grabbed the new girl’s wrist pulling her out of the library. Mari picking up their bags.

Lila herself wasn’t too bad once she started telling the truth, lying is a coping mechanism she created, because she is constantly moving schools, cities, and even countries. She is pretty interesting when she isn’t exaggerating. She was on a Hollywood movie set, but she was there on accident, she was looking for the bathroom in a restaurant and they were filming there that day. She did save a kitten on a tarmac once, but one it wasn’t Jagged Stones, it was a kitten who spooked out of their carrier and rushed down the stairs. Lila dove and caught it before it could leave the passenger unloading area to get the tram to the airport. (Some small airports unload passengers in a certain area of the tarmac and either shuttle them to the building or have a sectioned of walkway that is cleared for passengers, to walk back in only.)

After almost two hours Lila left for home when Adrien’s father called, and he was angry. Together she and Adrien ran back to the Agreste Mansion.

“Adrien!” Gabriel came out disheveled and slightly panicked. “And Miss Dupain-Cheng.” He slightly composed himself.

“Sorry I kept him.” She apologized. “He showed me this really cool book and you know how it is when inspiration hits.”

“Ah yes the inspiring fashion designer friend.” Adrien had walked up and handed his father the grimoire.

“It’s quite an interesting spell book.”

“You can read it?”

“Yes, I can. (Come on out little butterfly.)” Nooroo flew out from his hiding spot. “Hello kwamii of transmission and to you as well Hawkmoth.” She was calm deathly calm.

“How?!” Gabriel growled.

“Calm down. I have a question for you first. You want the jewels used by Ladybug and Chat Noir, why?”

“Would my answer change your plan of action to urn me into authorities and to the heroes?”

“My response may change, but you’ll have to answer to find out.”

“My wife wielder the peacock miraculous, it is broken, and she fell ill, and is in a comatose state.”

“Ah! So here is what is going to happen.” She took the grimoire from Gabriel and flipped over pages. “There is a way to revive her without resorting to using the wish.”

“How do you know this?”

She simply smiled. “You mind gathering these ingredients please Adrien?” She text him a list.

“Sure.”

“How do I know that this isn’t a ruse?”

“One I hate liars, and two because all magic has a cost, and this way is less than if you were to use the wish.”

“What do you mean cost?”

“Just like using your transformation wears on the kwamii, and the power affects your limit. Magic has its cost. The wish because it will always rewrite reality, the price is steep. Bringing back one life means you lose at minimum one other person from your life most likely more.”

“And this?”

“From what I understand. Everyone involved in the spell will have their energies deprecated so they will sleep for a day to a week.”

“Randomly?”

“No, the more people the less each person sleeps.”

“Here they are!” Adrien burst back in the room.

“Do you have the peacock miraculous?” Gabriel nodded. “Okay we’ll need that first, so lead the way to the kitchen.” Both men shuffled confused. “You do know where the kitchen is right?”

“Um well find it eventually.” Adrien chuckled. They were lucky and form it easily and Gabriel left while she and Adrien began to individually brew two separate potions. Adrien the more complex one for his mother’s revival. And she did the simpler one to fix the miraculous. Sue her Adrien is the better one in chemistry, sure he can’t cook to save himself, but he has a gift for chem, and Tikki help her she will teach him to cook. It’s practically edible chemistry, right?!

She took the Brock from Gabriel and fixed it, allowing Duusu out. “Okay so who is going to do this?”

“We will,” Adrien answered for himself and his Father, who nodded.

“Please let be help as well.” Miss Sancoeur offered.

Nooroo, Duusu, Tikki, and Plagg (they came out of hiding now) came to her. “We can help.”

She nodded and saw that Gabriel and Natalie were staring wide eyed between her and Adrien. She thought she heard Natalie say, ‘That explains so much’ but she isn’t sure.

Long story short they were able to wake up Emile, but she took back the peacock and butterfly, leaving Plagg with Adrien. Funnily enough the Agreste’s became a second family to her, once Gabriel finally grasped how to be a father. They told Paris that they had found Hawkmoth, but he would be tried by the order of Miraculous, meaning he would be stripped of the gem and his memories of the miraculous erased. It was a lie but Tikki told her that was what would have happened. There was some outcry, but they explained that they would have no recollection of it, and it wouldn’t make sense to try them.

The next few years of her life were blissfully normal, aside from the fact she had a contract under the Gabriel brand as the designer MDC, who was also endorsed by Style Queen. Chloe isn’t as bad as she puts on when she isn’t masking the hurt of being constantly ignored and bought by her parents.

- - -

It wasn’t until she was twenty-two and accompanying Adrien to a Wayne charity gala, one he didn’t want to go alone and two she was invited anyways, Chloe, Kagami, and Luka were also there on their own merits and invitations so they all stuck relatively together. Since arriving there Marinette was a constant pain, her arm burned and ached, but she forced herself to simply breathe and tried her hardest to push it out of her mind. But her luck wouldn’t hold, three hours into the event she was approached by who she recognized as Bruce Wayne, the host of the gala, and a woman to his left, the pain was almost unbearable the closer the two approached. Her friends noticed, they knew what her pain actually meant, as she opened up to them about it after a while, but she grit her teeth and tried to push through it.

“Mr. Agreste, Miss Bourgeois It is good to see you both again.” Bruce Wayne acknowledged. “It’s nice to meet all of you as well, Bruce Wayne.” He introduced to the rest, shaking hands. “And this is a good friend of mine.”

“Diana Prince.” She also went to shake everyone’s hands and had left Marinette for the last. The moment their hands touched she almost crumpled, she shrunk back and into Adrien and Chloe. “Is she okay?”

“Diana?” Bruce pointed towards her upper arm, the mark most of them overlooked before was now complete and glowing lightly. What Marinette remembered was that there was her yo-yo string and a golden rope that she only saw once before on her own arm. She felt sick, Diana was staring at her now, she recognized that Marinette was her soulmate.

“Melody?” Luka now stepped up.

“I want to leave.” She answered flatly.

“You are…”

She completely turned away, but by now her friends knew what was going on and were glaring at Diana. “I want to leave, now.” She repeated.

“Come on bug, let’s get you away from… this.” He threw a look at Diana, who was looking confused and seemingly alarmed.

The other three were putting as much space as they could between their friend and who is unknowingly causing her pain.

“Please is she alright?” Diana asked stepping forward barely grazing her hand covering her mark. This time it felt as if the skin itself was burning and stung almost like it was being pricked over and over and over again.

“Don’t touch me and stay away from me.” On the outside she looks clam and relaxed, but her voice was soft and raw, her eyes burned in pain. “You and that completed mark can stay far from me.”

“Luka, Kagami mind taking her back to the house?” The two in question led her away and once a safe distance away she broke down in tears, sobbing from the pain she was biting down.

- - -

The two that stayed were simultaneously glaring at her and watching their friends leave the gala.

“Is she alright?” Bruce finally bole the tension.

“As soon as she is far enough away from her.” The girl, Chloe, snapped at her. “Now that we know who is the the person causing her pain, we can keep her from them.” She snapped towards her, but it was a slap to Diana.

“I don’t follow. We are…”

“Soulmates, yeah we figured.” Adrien this time spoke.

“They why would she want to leave, without speaking?”

“One one in a million people are in pain when they are close to their soulmates.” Adrien spoke calmly but stoically. “No one knows why.” He began to fidget with a ring on hi# finger, she couldn’t recall if she saw any jewelry on her soulmate, Marinette, but she has a suspicion. After all she feels similar to her Mother’s aura and presence, that of a Ladybug.

“You are wrong. There is an explanation, but only a few know why that is.” She feels certain that she knows what this is.

“Let me guess you know why.” Chloe remarked, sarcastically and unamused.

“Allow me to explain this another time and place, as this is neither.”

“Fine call this number at noon est tomorrow.” Adrien handed her a phone number and the two turned and left.

“Diana?” Bruce snapped her attention. “What was that about?” He was still calm and collected but she knew he would be the one to ask, figuring out what was the next step, what had the best options of success.

“Magic.”

- - -

The next day she called the number and she was invited to a video call by the recipient. It turned out to be Marinette.

“Hello Diana.” Her voice was not cold but it was emotionless, as if she was forced into this conversation. Granted she did think she would be speaking with Adrien and Chloe.

“I never wanted to harm you, I swear that on the river Styx.” she began but before she could continue Marinette cut in.

“Let’s be clear, I don’t care about your apologies. I just want to know why this is happening and how to either get rid of it or to never have contact with you in any way or proximity.”

“I am apologizing because this is known as the curse of the ladybug and black cat.” She saw the young woman tense at that. “The reason I know of this is from by Mother, Queen Hippolyta Of the Amazon’s.” She allowed that to sink in and the other woman allowed her to drop her defense, nodding to what is said.

“When you say the curse of the ladybug and black cat what do you mean by that?”

“True souls of the miraculous, when in their life they come into contract with their given gems, cause a reaction.” Diana explained. “For the ladybug they receive the pain of their soulmate through their marks. Which is what I assume is going on.”

“Yes you’re right, but this has been going ever since I could remember.”

“Call it what you will fate, destiny, but you were always going to wield the ladybug jewel, that is why the curse manifested itself.”

“What about the black cat?”

“I am unsure, the black cat of my Mother’s time died before meeting their soulmate, but I would assume it would be similar to our situation.”

“Then how do we solve this?”

~~~~~~~~~~

Permanent Taglist: @itsmeevie01 @adrestar @miraculouspenta @vixen-uchiha @animegirlweeb @jumpingjoy82 @thedragonbug@astoriaandroses @icerosecrystal @t1dwarrior-of-earth @moon5606 @zalladane

[youryanderedaddy]

1/2(to not give away everything, is it possible to only show part of this?)Darling, who was originally happy and in a relationship with hero, kidnapped by yandere villain. they think about and miss hero, but slow burn Stockholm syndrome, darling eventually hating their 'ex'. meanwhile hero has been missing them for months, desperately working to find them, always worried for them, their feelings havent changed.

                  The villain series I

Tw: kidnapping, obsessive behavior, mention of threats, slight violence (at the end)

Part 2

 It had been weeks, or perhaps even months - you couldn't be sure. You were trapped in a small dark room, always too warm for your liking. The chains never left your bruised wrists and you didn't sleep much - maybe that's why you were so confused all the time.

 When you first opened your eyes at the new, unfamiliar place, the pair of bright red eyes was the only greeting you got. You knew the man and the realisation sank through your bones until it felt hard to move or even breath. He was a wanted criminal, a villain. And even worse - he was your lover's biggest enemy, a man he had despised from the very beginning. You always wondered whether this was just another game of his where you served as both a target and a prize.

 “If you are doing this in order to mess with Cedric, you need a better plan.” You had told your captor during on of the early days, when he stayed quiet most of the time, simply staring at you for hours on end. It was so confusing you almost wished he would threaten you instead to break the painful vibrant silence. “He would never come to save me anyways.” You lied through gritted teeth while trying to sound heartbroken, yet convincing. If you weren’t psychically and emotionally drained, you might have even weeped a few tears for a dramatic effect. But deep down you knew that the hero would never abandon you as he was the sweetest, kindest person in your life, who you could picture spending a lifetime with. There wasn’t a source of information in the underground basement but one quick glance across the newspaper on the table was enough to assure you that Cedric was constantly looking for you. Of course he was - you were a happy couple, highschool sweethearts at that, always together, always in love. Or you used to be, before a certain homicidal maniac decided to snatch you away from your perfect little life.

"Darling." The villain had spoken up for the first time in a while. His voice was smooth like honey, yet there was something dark and heavy underneath it all. "I didn't take you away as a revenge." The man smiled coldly, the red in his eyes lively as blood itself. He moved closer to you, inches from your restrained shivering body. "I can crush your dearest boyfriend any time. I don't need you for that." He continued spilling poison, slowly reaching to touch your cheek, wiping a stubborn tear falling down, ruining your stoic facade. "I just want you to love me." Gambit added after the dramatic pause, cupping your face with his big strong hands. You squirmed in shock, trying to distance yourself, but the rope only bit deeper into your skin, burning it. The villain was looking in your eyes in attempt to figure out your thoughts but to no avail. If he could read your mind, you might not have survived any longer as you were already planing how to kill him in the most painful torturous way possible.

"You are crazy." You spat at the criminal, staring at him with all the hatred you were capable to convey. "Why me?" You asked seriously, gritting your teeth in anger. The man couldn't simply kidnap you just to confess his love, right? Something didn't add up.

"You saved me." He whispered so quietly you almost thought you had imagined it. Gambit was stroking your hair softly now and running his fingers through the feverish skin of your neck as if he wasn't the person who had tried to destroy your city countless times. As if he deserved to hold you in his sinful bloody arms. "Back when I was just a boy I got involved with a local gang. I stole some money from them but my partner never showed up with the car so I was basically screwed." The man laughed bitterly at the memory, grinning with malice. "They beat me to a pulp and left me to die like a dog - right there on the fucking street. At that time I really thought that was the end." He smiled warmly at you. "Until an angel showed up. She was shining so brightly, ready to lead me to my demise. So imagine my surprise when she cleaned up my wounds and nurtured me back to life like a real saint. "

It was a distant, vivid memory to you. A scene from your past that you were trying to forget. You had been so scared back then, wanting nothing more than to escape right from the spot when the fight had started. But the more human part of you wouldn't let you take another step without checking on the helpless person laying on the street on the verge of death. The picture filled you with so much pity it still haunted you to this day. But you'd never guess that the weak defeated boy you had helped that day would turn out to be one of the greatest threat to your peaceful society later on.

"It doesn't matter." You cut the criminal off before he could finish the story. There was no point in letting him ramble happily when you were still tied up and away from everyone you cared about. "I would have saved anyone in such a position." You cleared your throat, summoning the coldest, cruelest voice you possessed. "I can't return your feelings, Gambit. Not only because I love Cedric, but because I genuinely despise you and all your evil deeds." You finished the sentence, smirking victoriously at the sour expression of the villain. You might suffer for your insolence but you will be damned if it wasn't worth it just to see him heartbroken for once.

"I understand, darling." The man replied, too calm and collected for your liking. His pupils had dilated, now looking more like two warning signs rather than the eyes of a human being. "Society has brainwashed you into painting me as the bad guy. It's not your fault." He cooed at you, kissing your red cheeks, wet and salty with tears you wish you hadn't spilled. Not that you had a choice when the panic and sadness were so overwhelming and heavy. In the next moment Gambit wrapped his hand around your throat, giving a small squeeze. "I just need to break you. You can see things my way only through pain." He pressed harder on the sensitive skin and you knew that it would form an ugly scarlet bruise in no time. "And I am more than happy to provide it, darling."

[hurricaneonanesthesia]

May I request Golden Deer x fem!reader headcanons where her upbringing didn't lend itself to her learning feminine hygiene like shaving or knowing how to braid her hair which makes her insecure and the house notices she never wears short clothes even in sweltering heat? Maybe with Claude x reader undertones?

Of course anon! I’d be more than happy to try my best. I certainly hope that I did them justice! Hopefully they aren’t out of character lol. to be completely honest, i feel like i rushed this towards the end lmao

~Admin Hurricane

Claude von Deer

He didn’t understand it, but you intrigued him

You weren’t like Marianne or Hilda, in fact you were far from it

It surprised him nonetheless when you were wearing long sleeves in sweltering weather

He’d asked you countless times why you weren’t wearing something lighter, but you would always shake your head and continue on with training.

It certainly worried him, when you suddenly fainted one day

He insisted that he be the one to carry you back to the infirmary.

Byleth had to force him to go back to class cause all his pacing outside of the infirmary was giving Manuela a headache.

When you finally woke up, he immediately booked it from the GD classroom and was the first one in

That was when you broke down and told him everything

He listened to every word you had to say, not breaking eye contact once please i love him he’s hubby material why isn’t he real sOB

When you finished he was silent before consoling you and pulling into a hug

He told you that it didn’t matter what your body looks like and that all that mattered was your personality and you as person

That caused you to break down more which made him PANIC lmao

Offered to teach you how to braid hair 

Whenever you guys are training or are in battle, he keeps an eye on you to ensure that you don’t faint again cause of heatstroke 

Advises you to drink plenty of water, STAY HYDRATED!

Ohoho Byleth the matchmaker caught on, and immediately paired the two of you together 

Whenever you’re feeling down cause you don’t seem “feminine enough” or are “too masculine” Claude immediately waves off those bad thoughts

Also to add onto you feeling down, if you were really out of it, he would drag you onto his wyvern and take you out for a ride :))))

Hilda

Hilda squealed when she first saw you, immediately dragging you into her room. 

She tried sprucing you up, but you didn’t really get it as she eagerly showed you different outfits and makeup

She got kinda upset when you stared out the window instead bored out of your mind

Tried to get your attention by waving her hands dramatically in front of you

She was pretty surprised when you opened up to her about why you weren’t interested

From then on Hilda decided to give you some tips on how to do your hair and such

She also gave you advice on clothes to wear, if you were still insecure. Something that won’t cause you to overheat, but is light and long enough to cover up your arms and legs.

Overall she was pretty open as soon as she learned about your circumstances and very willing to help.

Lorenz 

Off topic but Lorenz please change your goddamn pre time skip hairstyle

To be frank, the two of you didn’t get along that well

Why do I say that? Well you didn’t like his womanizing attitude towards other girls and felt that he was too stuck up for his own good

He thought you were too masculine and brutish for your own good and tried educating you which annoyed you to no ends.

Finally one day, when you couldn’t take his pestering anymore you just snapped

He stood there in shock, completely unsure of what to say

From then on he was more aware of what he said to you cause he was worried that what he would say would wound your pride again

Keeps an eye on you because he’s “such a gentleman” hey, his words not mine.

Raphael

Sorry bby, I love you Raph, but he’s a little bit dense 

Doesn’t notice your discomfort at first

Takes you awhile to open up but once you get to know him, he’s more than willing to listen

Being a big bro, he does his best to comfort you and encourage you saying that it doesn’t matter how you act he’s still rooting for you 🥺 BAHA PLEASE I LOVE THIS BIG TEDDY BEAR

Encourages you to wear whatever you like and be proud of yourself 

10/10 wholesome relationship

Bonus: if you still don’t know how to braid your hair, he’ll help do it for you cause he’s had plenty of practice with his younger sis 

Ignatz 

I’d like to think that he’s pretty sensitive and noticed right away

He asked you about why you were constantly wearing long sleeves

At first you weren’t that willing to open up, opting to change the subject and move on

However, as you came to know him more and discovered that his intentions were indeed genuine, you decided to tell him

He was rather surprised at first because he saw nothing wrong with you 

He told you to just continue being yourself and that everyone has flaws

You broke down crying and poor iggy panicked

You eventually stopped crying and thanked him

Since you shared your insecurities with him, he shared his secret hobby and love for painting and you encouraged him to pursue his artistic dreams rather than becoming a knight

Lysithea

She has many secrets herself but she isn’t very sensitive to how others are if you’ve seen her support with Marianne I think you know at first

Once you spend more time with her she notices how you avoid talking much about yourself and your upbringing

Not wanting to pry, she left you alone

Once you got to know her better, you slowly opened up about how you felt and your insecurities

And to your surprise, she listened

She kinda just sat off on the side patting your side unsure of what to say

Since you opened up to her, once you got to know her better, she found that she could trust you and told you abt her secret obviously i'm not gonna say it cause spoilers :)

Marianne

You’re insecure? She’s insecure? HOORAY YOU’RE NOW FRIENDS

Whenever the two of you hang out it’s literally just:

“....”

“.....”

“Um…”

Yeah...it's a little hard to strike up a conversation with Marianne at first

She was fairly curious about why you constantly wore long sleeves tho

"Um...y/n not to be rude, but why do you wear long sleeves? Aren't you hot, i-im sorry if I've overstepped, don't mind me…" 

But the two of you had grown close so naturally also being insecure you told her about your worries

Marianne didn't rlly know what to tell you at first and went all "oH iM soRRy you sHoULdNt bE taLkiNg tO mE bEcaUsE i bRiNg bAd LuCk"

Leonie

In a sense Leonie could relate to you

She told you to mmmm block out the haters and just be yourself

You gained a confidence boost from her cause she was encouraging and told you to just stay true to yourself.

She truly helped you get your walls down and let you know that its okay

Want more of my writing? Be sure to check out my masterlist :)

If you wanna request something, don’t be afraid to send something my way! Thanks for reading and have a lovely day!

[ja-khajay]

Stuff I read (and liked) this year

As promised, here’s a list of the novels, comics, manga, etc... I read this year, focusing on the ones I enjoyed and would recommend to people. Under a cut, this is going to be a little long.

-------- Books --------

Favorite book of the year: Stranger in the Woods, by Michael Finkel

Non-fiction. Based on the interviews of the man himself by the author, it is about a man who felt so unfit for society he decided one day to leave it, and spent the next 28 years as a hidden hermit in forest in Maine. The book details how he survived there, how he was eventually found, and some of his reasons for doing so. It’s a great reflection on the nature of loneliness.

Indian creek, by Pete Fromm

...Yet another detailed tale of living alone in the woods. This time, the diary of a student who spent a winter in the mountains to help tend for salmon hatchlings, and how he spent the rest of his days hiking, hunting, meeting the locals. It’s a fun little book who, being set almost the whole world away from where I live, was a nice way to travel.

Howl’s Moving Castle, by Diana Wynne Jones

I don’t feel the need to explain this one since everyone and their mom has seen the movie adapted from it. The book, that I first read a decade ago before I actually watched the film, is a less romantized, more spirited telling of the same story. The writing is absolutely delightful and so is the world it paints, and it’s the first time in ages a book had me laughing out loud during my entire read.

-------- Comics (BD) --------

Favorite comic of the year: Monsieur Désire?, by Hubert and Virginie Augustin

A discreet young woman becomes a maid for a decadent, unbearable, byronesque young lord. Caked in the rigid and oppressive social hierarchy of the victorian era, you follow a mental and verbal joust between the two, as the lord tries his best to offend and corrupt his new unrelenting servant, to little success. The writing and especially the dialogues were stellar, drawing me into the tense atmosphere, watching this trainwreck of a character flamboyantly destroy himself. While there’s no precise content warnings that I can give, this is a mature and heavy story.

World of Edena, by Moebius

Anyone who’s followed this blog for over a month knows how much of a Moebius fan I am. Edena combines the vague, dreamlike, wordless storytelling from stuff like Arzach or The cat’s eyes with an actual plot. While I haven’t completly finished the story, the evolution of the main characters and how the story is told have been great to read through, and as always the art is beyond gorgeous. Unfortunately suffers from some good old sexism in the writing that even if minimal, tasted sour

Le roman de Renart, by Joan Sfar (book 1)

Sfar’s work always has a signature vibe of being dreamy and light without being light hearted, of being down to earth but drifting in the fantastical, and this one is no exception. It’s an adaption of a series of medieval folk tales I grew up with, who uses the same characters to tell an original story. If you’re familiar with icons like Renart as well as other mythological big boys like Merlin you’ll fit right in. There is something special in how the dialogues are written, who feel natural in a way that you’d overhear in a street corner and is very special to me.

The mercenary, by VIncente Segrelles

Another one I post about a lot on this blog. The mercenary is a king on the throne of fantasy cheese. The worldbuilding is interesting at times but the writing is a pretty pathetic display of glorious old time sword and sorcery sci-fantasy 10 years too late for it’s prime (warning for ye old sexism and orientalism that plagues the genre, cranked very high...) but you come and stay for the art. The entire thing is drawn in a series of hyper detailed oil paintings with an insane eye for technical detail, from the engineering of the weaponry, to the architecture and weather, to the anatomy of the fantasy creatures... Each panel stands out as it’s own painting which makes even flipping through it without reading the scenario a treat. Click here to see more of the art, in my Segrelles tag.

The ice maurauder, by Jacques Tardi

A short story about mad scientists entirely drawn like a 19th century engraving. In great Tardi tradition everyone is ugly and mean, it ends terribly, it’s both a hommage to the genre of late 19th cent. to early 1900s dramatic adventure novels and a critical eye on it, and it’s morbidly funny. Most people I saw online hated the way this was written but I’m not them and I really recommend this book. Die mad

-------- Manga --------

Favorite manga of the year: it’s a tie between the following two.

Cats of the Louvre, by Taiyo Matsumoto

Most wonderful comic I have read in ages. The story follows a bunch of semi-feral cats secretly living in the Louvre museum’s attic, and the small group of humans who share their life, walking through the museum as the night watch. When the cats are together, they are represented in a humanoid way, but still act like animals, and “become” cats again when a human is nearby. The plot is a sort of supernatural mystery centered around a kitten who walks around paintings. It’s a love letter to art, sincere and beautiful, with a unique art style and great characters.

Memoirs of amorous Gentlemen, by Moyoco Anno

A sex worker in early 20th century paris starts writing down a diary of the clients she meets, in a quest to cope with the troubles of her life. You follow her, her colleagues, and her bittersweet relationship with an abusive lover. I don’t have much words about this comic, but the art and writing both are amazing, it’s the perfect length and drew me in like little series had before. Obvious content warnings as this is an adult story that talks about sexuality, but also depicts both mental and physical abuse.

Hana, also by Taiyo Matsumoto 

A very short story, this was not made to be read as a comic originally, but served as storyboarding and visual development for a play, and the way it is written follows that. Hana is a slice of life story set in a fantasy world, of a young boy, his family, his village. Despite the setting being an original one, the character interactions are refreshingly... normal, and there is no huge plot to speak of, just a bit of the life of these characters. The art is beautiful, entirely black and white, with a scratchy style and an emphasis on contrast. Matsumoto is on a speedy road to becoming my favorite manga artist haha

Delicious in Dungeon, by Ryoko Kui

While not marked as my year’s favorite, I still consider this series among my favorite manga ever. The art and writing are amazing, and it’s both heartfelt, well concieved and plain hilarious. The story follows several parties of dungeon diving adventurers each on their little quests with a premise of our protagonists, on a panic rescue mission, surviving in the dungeon by cooking and eating the monsters they come across. From a DnD party turned cooking manual dinner of the week beginning, the plot creeps up on you and slowly thickens. I don’t want to spoil anything about the overarching story of this because it was a delight to discover for myself. While everything about DinD rules, I am especially fond of the design philosophy of the author, who puts great detail in the practicality and biology of what she draws, as well as the character writing. Everyone even side characters has so much charm and depth to them, the cast is so diverse and entertaining...! Each character is just a bit lame enough but endearing, and has their own little backstory that shows in the way they exist. It’s a delight

Chainsaw man, by Tatsuki Fujimoto

I went into CSM expecting a borderline campy hyperviolent dumb fun thing to read and was very surprised to find an uncomfortably well written story about a teenager being groomed. The hyperviolent dumb fun fights are here nonetheless and the series still qualifies as shonen for some reason, but the more mature character writing as well as some truly outlandish visuals make it something very special. If you can’t stand shonen, not sure you will like it, but if you don’t mind it, worth trying.

Witch hat atelier, by Kamome Shirahama

The oh so elegant fantasy seinen every cool kid started posting about this year, who I also succumbed to and fast. Witch hat is hard to explain, as most of it’s plot revolves around the rules of the world it’s set in, specifically the regulations around it’s magic and the social and historical reasons for them. It’s about growing up, learning, disability, making art. You follow a little girl taken in by a witch as an apprentice, her magical education, and learn little by little why her lovely teacher is so willing to break a lot of rules... While a bit too gentle and pretty for my taste at times, Witch hat has great worldbuilding and explores sensitive themes I rarely see in manga, much less in fantasy. And Berserk wishes it had art this good

[silverbyuls]

( lee hyeri, cis female, muse i ) oh snap! is that SHIN EUNBYUL they work over at high volume where some of the other employees have labeled them as THE AVERAGE JOE. that’s probably because they can be a bit ( optimistic. ) but also pretty ( dishonest. ) they’re TWENTY TWO and they’ve been living in woodstock for TWENTY TWO YEARS. it must be their shift because i totally hear THE CRANBERRIES blasting from the record store. ( a little tikes piggy bank tucked under the bed, clothing label sticking out from the back, snap clips with varnish peeling off, jelly shoes with the strap taped together, leaving lisa frank stickers along record crates ) @volumeupdates

BIO

the luke hemsworth of the family but middle child

goes by byul

tried to go by ‘e.b.’ but her mum went berserk because she’d reduced her name to two letters for the ease of her yt friends and her brother bullied her for being e.t’s ugly sister so now she tries to go by silver star (her name translated into english) but it doesn’t quite stick

claims that her older sister and younger brother stole all her beauty, brain cells and height

family invested everything into older sister so she could go to college in new york: savings, loans, moved to smaller house which is even further from the town centre

brother requires all attention as he has high hopes of getting into college on a baseball scholarship and she lowkey can’t wait until he’s far away from woodstock

her grades have always been average so no one expects her to leave – her parents talk about how nice it is that she’ll be with them forever but she knows that’s because they want her to take care of them when they’re old … which she would! if they didn’t live in woodstock

she tells them she’s going to move to california, but they think she’s as serious about that as she is about wanting to go to college, or becoming supermodel of the world, or an olympic swimmer, when she has average grades, of average height, and can’t even swim

if her life was a movie, she’d have fallen asleep in the first ten minutes – it has always been so boring and uneventful, so she lives up in her head with her fake scenarios to keep things interesting – most of the time, they’re taken straight from a book or magazine

sometimes these thoughts spill over into reality because she can’t fathom the idea of people realising she’s as plain as she is, and her little white lies give her a bit of sparkle to stand out (in her opinion)

but she will get to california!

she even has a plan:

she’s been working at freddy’s diner since she was fifteen, escaping to high volume whenever she can, a place where she can pop her headphones on during her breaks and pretend she’s getting ogled at on venice beach, but she’s terrible at saving so seven years later she’s still grinding

once she graduates high school, she has enough time for a second job and she’d dropped enough hints in front of jerry for him to kindly offer her a job. after all, she spends as much time in high volume as she does at freddy’s so there’s not much of a difference once she becomes an employee -- still floating around the place, sipping on her coke can, either people watching or people chasing -- except now she has access to the register

after a big argument with her parents, she ended up moving out into a place in the middle of town. that was never part of the plan because saving was easier when she lived at home. she’ll say things got really bad but really, she was just getting closer to her target and she wanted a valid reason to put it off for a bit longer

she was only supposed to do it once – stealing from the cash register. it was just right there, no one was around, and she thought it was going to be her last shift because jerry was angry at her for being late again (granted, he hadn’t actually been mad, but it was one of those days when everything felt personal)

besides, she’d overheard a group of girls she’d idolised in school talk about how they stole some underwear and they made it sound so cool

she felt like everyone could hear her heart thumping against her chest as she walked out of the store but the day after, no one said anything about it, no one even noticed, and she wasn’t fired. so she did it again, and again, and again, and eventually she didn’t even bat an eyelid

the extra money was supposed to help her reach her goal faster but, again, she’s terrible at saving and her parents are so hardworking, she can’t help but feel guilty and buy nice things for them every once in a while and when they ask where she got the money from, she lies and says jerry gave her a bonus for being a good employee

on the other hand, if they’ve had an argument, or they’ve forgotten about her again, she’ll have a full on les-mis-i-dreamed-a-dream episode then splurge out on a cute jacket because it’s hers and it’s new! rather than worn out hand-me-downs from her sister or brother!

started her own side hustle called the separation agency – inspired after a customer at high volume asked her to help him break up with his boyfriend. so she’s the messenger for people who have things to say but don’t have the balls to say it to someone’s face themselves. usually they’re horrible messages, like break ups. she’s had like three customers and tries to promote her side hustle whilst on her shift at high volume

she thinks her “business” could actually thrive in a bigger city which is just another reason why she needs to get out of woodstock – it’s holding her back!

anyway, jerry’s missing, which is perfect for her because she gets to come in late and not get told off, and maybe steal a little more than she usually does

PERSONALITY:

when she’s around people, she seems like an extrovert: bubbly, talkative, dramatic ... which uses up a lot of her energy and her social battery is weak, so needs her own space often, and likes doing nothing by herself so sometimes she’ll lie to get out of plans or bail last minute 

she has big dreams, and talks about all her big plans, but has leaving anxiety which is why she’s shit at saving and makes up excuses as to why she can’t leave just yet 

has main character syndrome -- likes to live her life as a romcom, most of her lies revolve around her love life because she wants to be seen as desirable, but also will overanalyse everything 

sensitive, passionate, immature, sympathetic, fickle, clumsy, dramatic, caring, head in clouds

will pretend to knows things to fit in like ~hipster~ bands or anything really, depends on the crowd

could gladly spend all day talking to customers at work then the next day she’ll prefer to day dream in the storage room

rides a bike to and from work and almost everywhere else too -- the only one out of her siblings who had to bike to school because small car and siblings took up all the space -- she’s had the same bike since high school 

loves spice girls but feels like she’ll be judged so keeps quiet and plays it when she’s closing

honestly could hate you one day and have a crush on you the next but you wouldn’t even know it -- a vicious cycle 

collects stickers and leaves them everywhere and on everyone - often passive aggressive through them, basically uses them like emojis

will try to order food and get others to pay for it - especially kfc, never gets to eat the drumsticks at home so will honestly cry if people steal the drumsticks from her

buys lottery tickets and scratch cards because she has a 50/50 chance of winning

WANTED CONNECTIONS: (current connections)

start up: stolen str8 from a kdrama that ruined my life hehe her parents set her up with a pen pal to keep her busy out of guilt because they’re so busy with her siblings and work and obviously she romanticises it !!! her parents would’ve asked to lie a little bit, just so she’d be writing to someone she’d easily obsess over -- love island vc: someone who ticks all the boxes 

xoxo gossip girl: someone who loves a good gossip sesh -- they probably send 👀 at each other across the store when things feel a bit tense, which is code for ‘meet me in the storage room’ so they can chat away for the rest of their shift

lunch stealer: she makes her own lunch every day and is extremely protective over it but one day it went missing and she knows it was them (maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t) so now they are her sworn enemy

sister’s/brother’s friend: therefore an automatic enemy

shut up: someone who just tells her to shut up because she chats so much shit and she’s insane - just sandra x dina vibes from superstore (x)

carpool karaoke: she hates cycling in when it’s raining, so either she’s trying to get them to be her designated driver or has already succeeded and is annoying about it

crush #1: someone she has a crush on (more of an infatuation) and they’re not interested in her in the slightest but in her head they’re giving her mixed signals and she has made up a fake boyfriend to try to make them jealous

crush #2: someone she thinks has a crush on her. either because they’re nice or tease her or just mean, it doesn’t matter, she’s insane so she’ll interpret it however she wants

ex: they never broke up, or even dated, but she thinks something almost happened between them and she thinks she cut things off by giving them space

separation agency: someone who once used the agency either out of the kindness of their heart or for a different reason entirely and now she won’t stop pestering them to try and get them to use it again

no thots just vibes: i just like this gifset tbh (x) and we can brainstorm ! 

[writefasttalkevenfaster]

Spencer Reid / Uncertainties

Prompt: Kissing tears away 

Summary: Everyone is afraid of the uncertain, but no one more than a man of facts and statistics -- Dr. Spencer Reid.

Word Count: 1,870

Warnings: Angst + Fluff, comforting, Spencer’s headaches, this man deserves love, mentions of mental illness (schizophrenia), I make a doctor who reference lmao

Spencer Reid was a man of many thoughts. And that was a clear understatement. 

A lot of his thoughts were spoken — facts given freely, statistics that spewed from his mouth, and certainties conveyed without a bit uncertainty. But these were facts, facts he had surrounded himself in carefully constructed walls, buildings, and bridges, until it became a labyrinth. A perfect solitude of his own making — certainties were certain, unlike most things in his life. 

Including you. 

"Spence, can I sit with you?" His eyes flitted up from the book he was reading, finding you sitting before he even had a chance to open his mouth. 

"Doesn't look like I have much of a choice," but he smiles, and your eyes twinkle at his teasing. 

"Why wait when I know the answer is yes?" 

And you were right. The answer was always yes when it came to you — that much was certain. At least according to Morgan and Garcia. 

"Why aren't you in your office?" You crossed your arms, brow creased in frustration. 

You sigh dramatically, "Penelope brought her boyfriend by and now they have completely taken over my space," Pout, as you rest your chin against your hand, "it's fine because it's Pen, but it's just a little nauseating to be around a couple that often. I think he’s spent more time there in the last week than I have in the last month." 

He snorts, "I didn't know love caused nausea," the corner of his mouth twitches, and you roll your eyes. 

"It does when you're painfully single," you sigh dramatically, shaking your head, “Side-effects include nausea, fake vomiting, and contemplation and eventual purchase of noise canceling headphones. Only cure in my case — a date.” 

"Then get a date?" He offers. The words left his mouth without a second thought, ignoring the twinge in his chest at the thought of you with someone else. 

You raise a brow, "You offering, Doctor?" 

He blinks, a heat climbing his neck, and he's all too painfully aware of how your eyes linger on the blush that's undoubtedly spread across his cheeks and the graze of your teeth against your bottom lip. 

"I-I-" but you wave him off. 

"It's okay, Spence," you begin to get up, but the question remains very much in the air, an albatross wrapped around his neck, squeezing and squeezing. 

"Wait," he says your name, giving you pause as he licks his incredibly dry lips, "I am," he manages, heart beating against his ribs, "offering that is." 

The indelible tension becomes even more unbearable as you blatantly stare at him, becoming more and more difficult not to tug at the collar of his button up — regretting the choice of a sweater vest combo with how unbearably hot its become. 

But then your face lights up, eyes wide and lips broken in an unabashed grin, "What time?" 

Maybe he shouldn’t have offered. Maybe he shouldn’t have listened to that small voice in the back of his head, that sounded awfully like Morgan, to take a chance. Because then he wouldn’t have learned that you majored in Linguistics and English Literature. He wouldn’t have learned that your undergraduate thesis was on the parallels of  Beowulf and Tolkien and the meaning of brotherhood. He wouldn’t have learned that your nose wrinkles very adorably when you try a new dish. He wouldn’t have learned that he liked how your voice got louder when you were passionate. He wouldn’t have fallen in love with you. 

But he was, he realized one morning, as your fingers carded through his thick curls one afternoon, hoping that the dreaded phone call wouldn’t come and interrupt your dinner plans tonight. You hummed and gasped appropriately as you listened to him read a new book you had picked up (as it was your turn to choose a book for the two of you to read this week). And it was when you had plucked the book from his hands, peering down at him, his head against your legs, with a soft smile and wide eyes, he realized that he didn’t remember a single moment of his life that had felt so right. 

Until it didn't. 

He knew the symptoms. Sensitivity to light. Persistent headaches. An inability to focus. Irritability. Hallucinations. And he knew the odds. His leg bounced up and down in the waiting room — the one time facts did not play to his advantage — eyes squeezed shut. Soon, he would begin to forget things. Become confused or delusional. And he would lose one of the only things he felt that had some control over — his mind. Pain splintered through his head, as yet another doctor called him in for his results. 

Inconclusive, again. The fifth doctor to have run a litany of tests on him: physical, emotional, and psychological — but no cause. 

He doesn’t remember the doctor’s name, her introduction stymied by the red hot throbbing in his frontal cortex, “Do you have anyone to support you during this time?” his fingers dug into his forearms. 

“I do,” he manages, and he can almost feel your touch, your presence, as if you were here. Your arms wrapped around him, chin pressed into his shoulder, but your eyes — eyes full of pity. He still hadn’t told you. 

But it didn’t mean you hadn’t noticed. 

"Spencer," you wave your hand in front of his face, and he looks up from his book, "I've been calling your name for five minutes." 

"Sorry, I was reading," he murmurs, sliding his bookmark into his book, shutting the book in his lap, "what's wrong?" 

Your brow furrowed, arms crossed across your chest, "I should be asking you that," 

"What is that supposed to mean?" He knew he was wrong — he knew he had been short, that he had been angry, that he had been silent, but he didn't care. He couldn't find the energy to. All he could think about was the dull ache in his head, the echoing in his ears, the fear thrumming through his body, possibilities running over and over and over— 

"Spencer," you ease the book through his fingers, "I know you — you would have blown through this entire book by now, but you've been reading the same page for the last half hour." 

He snatches the book from your hand, hardback clattering against the floor, "You don't know anything," 

"Spencer—" 

"No, no—" he holds his voice steady, holding the fracturing pieces of his facade together, "just leave." 

"I'm not leaving you," your voice cracks, not bothering to hide your hurt, "not until you tell me what's going on." 

He looks up and sees your gaze waver. And he hates himself. He hates himself for hurting you. He hates himself for allowing himself to love you. He should have learned his lesson. He should have learned when his parents separated, when his mom’s delusions and paranoia turned her from the woman who read him stories of knights to a woman who barely remembered her own name. He hates himself for being too weak to break up with you.

“Do you know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind?” he whispers, the dull ache in his brain quelling for a moment, the tightness in his chest replacing it.

You blink, eyes glassy, sliding in place beside him, his eyes falling to his lap, “Why would you be afraid of something so beautiful?” 

“Because I don’t know what it’s going to become,” he cradles his head in his hands, “I’ve been having headaches. Consistently. I can’t focus. I can’t sleep. I am...hearing things that are not there. I—” 

“Spencer,” you whisper, “why didn’t you tell me before?” 

He laughs, the sound hollow in his chest, “What is there to tell? Doctors can’t tell me what this is. They can’t tell me if it’s—-” he breaks off, and he refuses to look up. He refuses to see the pity in your eyes — the fear. 

“Baby, you don’t know what this even is right now, we—” 

“What else could it be?” he snaps, ringlets of pain coursing through his head, “I know the chances. I’ve known the chances since I was seven, when I found out my mother had schizophrenia when I overheard my parents arguing again. I’m the same age as she was when she first started showing symptoms.” 

Schizophrenia. The word hangs over the conversation like it has hung over him his entire life. A part of him thought maybe, somehow, if he was smart enough, even if he had it, he could outsmart it — maybe he could overcome it. But a few weeks of these headaches any delusions of grandeur — except for the ones yet to come, “Spencer, even if it is schizophrenia, it is treatable. It is manageable with medication and proper treatment. More importantly, no matter the odds, no matter what this is, I’m going to be there—” 

“Until you’re not,” 

“Spencer,” 

“You don’t know what it’s like,” His words are soft, as he remembers the warmth of his mother, curled up beside him, her soft voice reading stories of Arthur and his round table, “to watch someone you love become someone else — someone you don’t even recognize anymore. Someone angry, someone paranoid.” 

“I don’t know what it’s like, Spencer, I’m sorry, but I know I’d never leave you. Even if you become someone else, even if I lose you altogether — I love you. For who you are, and you will become,” you reach for his face, but he turns away, licking his lips, “I always will.” 

“Nothing is certain,” he sighs, running his hands down his face, “But I know I can’t make you do this—” 

“Spencer, please,” you lean down, prying his fingers away from his face, and forcing him to look at you — tears running down your cheeks freely, your nose wrinkling as you sniffled, “shut up.” 

“I—” 

“I know nothing is certain — nothing ever is. But this is how I feel right now, in this moment,” you draw closer, and he allows you to — taking solace in your closeness and warmth. Your lips brush against his forehead,  “We will figure this out, together.” 

A tear slips down his cheek, and he squeezes his eyes shut, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to—” 

“I don’t have to do anything,” you press a kiss to his cheek, right as the tear rolls down, “and I never do anything I don’t want to,” the corners of your mouth tug at your lips, “remember the Doctor Who convention?” 

“I remember compromising my choice,” you laugh. 

“And I remember you being the cutest David Tennant ever,” his fingers brush away the streaks of tears left behind on your cheeks, “I don’t need to have a Tardis to know we are going to get through this.” 

“Well, actually—” you raise an eyebrow, and he smiles. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too,” his hands cup your cheeks now, breath fanning against your lips, as he kisses you. Tears roll over his fingers, as your fingers rest over his own, “and that is a certainty.”

[allbrainrot]

Oh hi! Can i ask for 💚 for felix with a female reader? Thank u! Those prompts were so cute btw!!

YES!! I’m glad you like them! Honestly this is the most realistic way I could imagine Felix confessing since he’d never outright admit it without a little prodding.. 🍄🖤

Felix:

- Felix would appear to be just as much of an asshole, but the other lions who know him well recognize that he is significantly less of an asshole to you. This is Felix code for ‘damn it I secretly love you’.

- In the academy days I could totally see Felix with unresolved feelings for a childhood crush on you, back from your little friend group in Faerghus. You don’t really remember anything out of the ordinary, but as the oldest kid I know Sylvain remembers everything that mini Felix did. Probably Ingrid too, she’s pretty perceptive, and I’m sure they eventually got Dimitri in on it.

- So flash forward to present day with all of you as members of Blue Lions, Felix has been trying just a little too hard to convince them that he definitely doesn’t have feelings for you. Faerghus squad has decided it’s been drawn out long enough, the truth has gotta come out before you end up married off to some other noble and it’s too late.

- Definitely says dramatic stuff like ‘you’re insufferable’ and ‘I have no idea how I’ve tolerated you for so long’ when he gets flustered to cover up what he really means, ‘damn it you’re adorable’ and ‘pining after you for a decade is getting frustrating’.

- Sylvain’s ability to evoke jealousy and Dimitri’s ability to elicit a protective response from Felix because ‘get the hell away from her boar’ are S rank weapons in the ‘confession war zone’.

- Step One: Get everyone to have an outing in town to “pick up something for Byleth.” Oh boy! Is that a pastry shop? Well Ingrid just has to force you all to go in! Everyone can sit at a booth with her while she eats~ Alright, time for Dimitri to sit right next to you! A success, he earns a mumbled ‘I don’t trust you for a second, boar’ and then Felix is wedging himself between the two of you. Oh man that’s a tight squeeze. Oh goddess you haven’t been this close to Felix since you were little. It is at this point, Felix realizes that he has been duped. And he is now focusing on suppressing his raging heartbeat while touching thighs and arms with the love of his life. Damn those scoundrels..

- Step Two: Lunchtime! Sylvain has engaged you in a ✨casual✨ game of hot or not, prompting you about your opinions on people at the monastery ‘innocently’ while we test just how hard Felix is capable of clenching his fists! Q: So, who’s the hottest house leader? A: Huh, I’ve never thought about that...I mean, Dimitri does have really pretty eyes! Felix is officially >:((((( and oh man when the boar stutters out a thank you Felix almost loses it..but he feigns cool and scoffs at the both of you.

- Q: Hmm ok..then what about everyone in our friend group? A: What? I mean, I think everyone looks pretty good?? Q: Welllll I don’t know man, Felix is hella scary, he has a permanent scowl! Stupid Sylvain!! Felix’s nails are full on digging into his palms now, how dare Sylvain talk shit about him with you?! Then you laugh..Goddess send help please your laugh is too adorable!! A: Quit being a jerk, Sylvain, Felix is totally attractive! OH MAN. Is it even possible for Felix to hide how red his face is? Can everyone hear how fast his heart is pounding? (Y/n) just called him attractive he feels like he’s going to explode!

- Step Three: Get everyone to cycle through sparring together and tell embarrassing stories about Felix. It’s a little evil but it’s a master plan..sparring is when Felix’s emotions show up the most. Everyone pray for my boy Dimitri who agreed to fight Felix while he’s worked up. You’re benched for this match, watching Felix because man he was impressive..when Sylvain and Ingrid engage you in an odd conversation about your childhood to pass the time. Including:

• Remember that time when we were little and Felix scraped his knee up super bad and came crying to you? He was sniffling so hard and he clutched onto you like a baby koala the whole time you patched it up!

• Oh, or the time that we went out by ourselves to go camping and when it got dark Felix was so scared! He kept crying and crying until you eventually let him share a sleeping bag with you!

• What about the time you sprained your ankle and Felix carried you the whole way home and told you he would be your knight in shining armor?

• There was also that time when you and Felix built a pillow fort and he told us that we weren’t allowed inside because it was ‘The Fort of Fraldarius’. And then we asked why you got to play inside the fort and he said that you were ‘Lady Fraldarius of the Fort’

- ALRIGHT THAT’S IT. Rip Dimitri, his sparring partner is in a frenzy of embarrassment masked by rage 💔 Shortly after hitting Dimitri with a sword over and over again Felix goes off to hole up in his room after being called out for his feelings. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little flustered, but it was ultimately overpowered by how funny it was to think back to little things like that and then look at present day Felix. You hadn’t thought about him like that in a while, he would always come to you and so you gave him space when he became more closed off.

- But you still mostly retained the ability to pick up on what the underlying meaning of your friend’s words and actions was. It seems he really hadn’t changed so much from the sensitive little boy who sought your attention..his adoration was still there, he just had no idea what to do with it. Truthfully, a part of you has always loved Felix and you had even wondered about the possibility you’d end up married to him, given the ties between your parents.

- The thought of Felix sulking behind you silently yearning for the rest of your academy days and then abruptly having to go into marriage with you was a mess. So, if you were certain Felix liked you despite his words, would it really be so daunting for you to make a move?

- Now you’re knocking on his door and hear a very muffled ‘go away’. The length of the chain bolt keeping the door shut allowed you to wedge it open just about an inch and you quietly peek inside and..Felix is on his bed, well, you can’t really see him because there is a heap of blankets piled over him. As if he’s building a protective barricade against your friends. Wait that’s exactly what he’s doing lol this is just the fuck off fort WAIT HOLY SHIT FORT-

- You whine at him to at least let you chill in his blanket fort because you didn’t do anything with the intention of teasing him. He groans at your childishness and informs you that this ‘fort’ is not yours to invade. Ok this could end up with a million different outbursts but the cards are all on the table-

- ‘But Felixxxxxx!! Even if I’m older I’m still Lady Fraldarius of the Fort 🥺🥺🥺’

- But he’s quick to quip back at you..damn so close!! ‘Well, (Y/n), given that you are 17 years old now I was inclined to believe that you realized that you actually have to marry a Fraldarius for that title. Perhaps I underestimated your idiocy.’ DAMN. He really went there. Ok, if that’s how it is, two can play that game..

- ‘Damn, alright. Well if that’s what it takes to get into the cozy Fort of Fraldarius, where do I sign up to check off the qualifications?’ >:3

- OH BOY UMMM FELIX IS COMING OVER HERE REALLY FAST- Be prepared to be picked up and be thrown into the fort with Felix.. It’s actually quite impressive how many different ways Felix can find to call you an idiot..while still attached to you. Felix, too, has known that there’s a probability you would become eloped by your families, and brings that up now because ‘Whatever. I suppose if I must marry an idiot, it would minimize the negatives if it was an idiot that I’ve already had to tolerate for so long. But if I have to endure such for my family line, I guess I should build up as much of a tolerance for you as possible before then.’

- So basically, the heavily encrypted message you received was ‘Yes, I’ve always thought about marrying you. But, now you have to be my girlfriend and give me as much of your attention and affection as possible’ He gets a little better about covering things up and has at least admitted that he loves you and you’re official, along with that it makes him happy when you hold him like you did when you were kids. He’s gone a wholeass decade now without ever seeking out anyone else, just remembering your childhood affections, so once you’re alone and he’s gotten used to things enough he’ll be pretty touch starved. Now, he just sits and waits, glaring at you until you deliver your routine cuddles that he would never admit to wanting out loud..

WHEW OK I DID IT AGAIN AND WROTE A RIDICULOUSLY LONG HC ON ACCIDENT 🥺🍄 Followers pls let me know if you like the long ones I write or if you’d like me to start making them short! Also lmk if you want me to censor any cussing it’s just a regular part of my vocabulary so I always end up writing some! Tyty for all the support I really really appreciate it 🥰✨ Oh! also! this is a side blog so unfortunately I can’t really reply to comments without it getting confusing, but I read everything and appreciate comments so so so much!

[vegalocity]

I figured it was about time to crack the name research books back open and name Aunt Sis, and so now here we are

(yes i know Shanghai Disney didn't exist in the 90's shut up this is already an alternate earth just imagine Michael Eisner didn't make Euro Disney/Disneyland Paris first)

--

At first she hadn't thought anything of it

She was so happy to have her little brother back it hadn't even occurred to her that he'd just called her 'his sister' when introducing her to his... coworkers? Friends? brethren? people he was forced to work with but grew real fondness for after being stuck in the spirit realm together?

She was just happy her little brother was still around TO call her his older sister at first.

But then it started getting noticeable.

"Well my Sister would know more about woodworking-"

"Maybe you should ask your auntie first-"

"Hey Sis, can you pass me that-"

And if she hadn't seen her brother's lack of memory in action already it would be considered ridiculous to her, but- yeah... yeah her baby brother whom she loved dearly and practically raised herself, had forgotten her name. And was yet to retrieve it from the far reaches of his hole filled memory.

In retrospect, it made sense, not everything was going to be recalled at once, and he'd even yet to recover a few things about Minyi (she'd had to intercept a plate or two of cut up strawberries before her niece, head full of mysteries and puzzles stuffed one in her mouth without thinking and the next thing anyone knew she'd be digging through her purse for Minyi's epi pen) and she was approximately 90% sure he'd asked to continue to go by Syntax not as a reflection of how he'd fundamentally changed after... well... everything... and more because he simply hadn't recalled his own name yet.

So it made sense her own name was a little lower on the priority list.

All the same she knew he wanted to uncover what he'd lost on his own. The only person he'd accepted correcting from so far was Minyi but she could still see how frustrated he was with the idea that his six year old daughter had a more cohesive memory than him at the moment. When she'd told him something about that selfish bitch he called an Ex-Wife once in response to him puzzling over Minyi's baby pictures and the likely unfamiliar woman he'd seen within- he'd kind of lost his shit on her.

"I KNOW who the mother of my child is Sis! I MARRIED her didn't I?!" and she'd seen him tense up as he realized he didn't actually know if he'd married Minyi's mother or not. She'd made sure to call her a selfish bitch again to ensure he knew she didn't die or anything that would give him the wrong impression of the woman that abandoned him and his daughter.

He apologized later, citing that the whole 'Spider Demon' thing had really heightened his aggression and insisted again he was fine, he remembered enough about... that woman, (narrowly dodging calling her by name as well she noted) and didn't need a refresher. In fact he wished he could forget her entirely! he laughed awkwardly at the attempt at humor, and she patted his shoulder.

and then when Minyi got home she pulled her aside and asked her not to call her by name unless he asked her specifically. That her daddy was just feeling like if they up and told him some things that it would be taking the easy way out. And everyone knows how much this family is incapable of taking the easy way out.

So she kept her mouth shut. Told the other Spider Demons to not give any hints unless asked either, and they obliged calling her 'lady' and 'Ma'am' (with varying degrees of respect)

But she knew it was only a matter of time before it would really begin to wear him down. The question was would it end with a whimper or bang. And would it happen when it was just the two of them around or would they have an audience.

But eventually that day came, and luck was for once on this family's side, as Minyi had already started going back to school and the other Spider Demons were off... doing whatever they do in the mornings.

The photo album was old, cracked in the spine with the cover slightly torn in a corner, and she watched her little brother page through the pictures with a careful, critical eye. She sat on the arm of the sofa and leaned to the side just enough to peer over his shoulder and look back on the era when their parents still thought to take pictures of them.

"It feels like it's not even me." he muttered, and when she glanced down she could see the snarl starting to form on his face. "It's like, I look at that child and I KNOW it's me, There's no way that that's NOT me but-..." he growled and flipped the page. "Nothing. Not a single. fucking. Memory. This might as well be a different person entirely for all the connection I'm getting!"

They'd reached their last family trip before their father lost his job (Shanghai Disney, She was twelve he was five, the first picture was such a 'first theme park' picture of the two of them pointing dramatically at the castle; Their parents had wanted to do a nice picture but she'd wanted to mess around and once she'd made the idea of it fun he'd jumped right on the concept)

"Syntax-" it felt weird to call her brother by the name he'd been assigned before he remembered who he was, but no matter how weird it was, he'd asked her to. Her little brother was a bit sensitive right now. Well- more sensitive than usual.

But he flinched all the same when she did. "If you're still struggling with remembering things you know you can-"

"I remember enough about our parents to know I do NOT want to get them involved, Sis."

"That wasn't what I was gonna offer ya dingus." She gently thwapped him on the back of the head. "Learn to let people finish their sentences, who raised you?"

"You did." He snorted, but the uncertainty in his expression didn't fade.

"Damn right. And as your big sister who basically raised you, what I was GONNA say was: You know you can still ASK, right? I'm not gonna be mad. You KNOW Minyi loves telling stories, and I'm not opposed to spending the mornings reminiscing. I work nights anyway."

"Since when?"

"Since I started enforcing Bed Time so Minyi's asleep by the time I'm clocking in. I would go to bed right after I walk her to school I'll have you know." His daughter was such an easier topic. He remembered the most about Minyi, but at least that meant she wasn't totally forcing him away as her offer grated against that pride that he had in him long before he turned purple.

The next silence between them was comfortable. Her brother flipped the page to snort a laugh at the photo he found within. And she suppressed a giggle. The little snapshot within depicted the little boy his face in his balled up fists, crying, with his big sister sitting beside him and gently petting his hair while a Goofy character hovered over them worriedly. It was most certainly because of the dog that the little boy was crying.

"Yeah you were terrified of the mascot face characters."

"I can see that."

"Hit ya right in the ol' uncanny valley. We had to dodge the parades the whole trip. I was practically scouting ahead for all the character meets to make sure we had a way around the mascots. The people in costumes were fine though. You really enjoyed meeting Peter Pan."

"Really? I would have pegged my younger self as-"

"More of an Alice kid? yeah our parents did too. but you were like, suuuppeeerrr overwhelmed already at the point we'd found Alice, and you went totally shy." She reached over to flip to the next page and sure enough there the pair of siblings was again, the little boy now hiding his face in the young girl's backpack as an Alice character actor fluttered about infront of them.

"That must have been aggravating to put up with."

"Honestly? Even before all the crap with our parents went down I was used to it. It was always my job to take care of you."

"You might want to knock that off before I get used to it again."

"Nah." She threw an arm around Syntax's shoulders and curled it against his neck until the two were struggling on the couch, the photo album tossed aside and forgotten as her brother shouted in confusion and frustration.

But Spider Demon or not, he was no match for her superior prowess, and she had him in a headlock.

"And my name is Xiuying you dumbass." Her stupid brother stopped thrashing in her grasp, and grabbed her arms a little tighter.

[eliemo]

The Little Things

Now that they’re getting to know Virgil, welcoming him as family, the other sides begin to notice behavior they hadn’t picked up on before. Patton just wants him to feel safe. 

Words: 3,698

TW: Brief panic attack, Virgil thinks he’s gonna be punished or hurt for a few minutes. Also like one swear word 

They noticed the little things first. 

Logan was likely the first to notice how jumpy Virgil really was now that they were all spending more time together, how sensitive he was to loud noises and sudden movements, but Patton was fairly sure he was the only one to see beyond that. 

It wasn’t hard for Patton to pick up on how quickly Virgil would tense if he thought one of the other sides were in a particularly bad mood, how he would go quiet if someone raised their voice whether it was directed towards him or not, how he would reach for any excuse to retreat to his room if he thought something was wrong. 

It hadn’t been like that before they’d accepted him. He hadn’t been so scared. 

Or maybe...maybe he had, and they just hadn’t bothered to notice. 

Living either in almost total isolation or with the other dark sides his whole life, it was obvious Virgil wasn’t used to their way of life. He wasn’t used to the kindness and understanding they were offering. 

But that was ok. They would help him. He was family now, and he was learning. He was safe. 

But then...then the small hidden things became a bit more obvious, and it was clear this wasn’t just Virgil’s general anxiety. 

It was the ‘mug incident,’ as Patton had internally dubbed it, that had finally clued them in to how bad it really was. 

Roman, as kind and caring as he was, and how hard he tried, was never one to pick up on subtle signs. 

It was mid afternoon, Virgil perched on the armchair while Logan and Patton stood by the TV mulling over movie options, when Roman stormed in from the kitchen, a broken Disney mug in his hand, deep frown etched on his face. 

It wasn’t genuine anger, Patton knew Roman well enough by now to know that. It was just frustration amped up for the sake of dramatics. 

They all should have realized Virgil wouldn’t know to pick up on that yet. 

“Do any of you want to tell me why,” Roman announced, holding the pieces of the mug in the air. “My beloved Disney mug was left destroyed on the counter?” 

Logan turned to face him, unaffected, adjusting his glasses. “I assume because it broke.” 

“Obviously! Which one of you broke it?” 

“I did the dishes this morning, kiddo,” Patton said, smiling sadly at the broken mug. “It wasn’t broken when I saw it.” 

Logan sighed. “I did not go anywhere near your mug today, Roman. Besides, can’t you just fix it on your--” 

“It’s the principle of it!” Roman whirled around to Virgil, who had been silently watching the exchange with wide eyes. “Alright, emo! Confess to your crime!” 

Virgil actually jumped, fingers curling into the cushions of the chair, shoulders curling up to almost reach his ears. Roman was clearly expecting to banter back and forth, and Patton knew that in any other situation that was exactly what he would have gotten. 

“I-I didn’t break it,” Virgil said, stumbling over his words a bit, refusing to look Roman in the eye. “It wasn’t me.” 

Roman groaned and Patton frowned as Virgil went rigid. The creative side didn’t seem to be picking up on anything unusual, and Logan had gone back to flipping through channels. 

“Oh come on, Virgil! Obviously it was you, you’re usually the last one in the kitchen. It’s not even a big deal, why didn’t you just tell me it was broken?” 

Virgil shook his head, curling further into himself like he was hoping for his hoodie to swallow him up, and Patton slowly rose to his feet when he saw something far too close to genuine panic in his eyes. 

“I didn’t break it,” he said again, somehow even quieter than before. “I didn’t...I-I’m not lying, it wasn’t me, I’m...I haven’t been in the kitchen.” 

“But you--” 

“Roman,” Patton said, forcing his tone to stay light. “I was in a hurry this morning, maybe I just left it balancing on the shelf weird. And if not, I’m sure it was just an accident, right?” 

It was a bit too pointed to be taken as entirely casual, and Roman cleared his throat and shifted awkwardly, clearly picking up on Patton’s worry. 

But before Roman could hopefully change the subject, Virgil was speaking again, his voice now shaky and almost...desperate. 

“I didn’t...I didn’t do it, Roman I swear it wasn’t...i-if I had broken it I would have cleaned it up or-or fixed it I promise, I wouldn’t...I wouldn’t have-have left a mess.” 

Roman’s brow furrowed, and he briefly glanced back at Patton and Logan, whose attention had been recaptured by Virgil’s rambling. 

“I...I know,” Roman said carefully. “Virgil, I...I wasn’t gonna--” 

He took a step towards the armchair, freezing when Virgil flinched backwards, eyes impossibly wide and clouded with fear. 

“I-I didn’t break it!” It was louder this time, still small and trembling, staring at the other side like he was wielding a deadly weapon. “I’m not lying I swear I-I didn’t, I…” 

Patton could only stand there, looking helplessly between the two of them, Logan just as lost beside him, while Roman carefully set the mug down and slowly dropped to a crouch in front of the chair. 

“It’s ok, Virgil,” the prince said, soft and slow, and Virgil’s rambling abruptly cut off. “I’m not mad, see? It’s ok.” 

Virgil didn’t relax, didn’t move, just glanced briefly at Patton and Logan before turning back to Roman. “You...you were. You were mad, and you--” 

“I wasn’t,” Roman promised gently. “Even if you did break it--” 

“I didn’t,” Virgil insisted, then stiffened as if just realizing he’d interrupted Roman. But the prince just smiled again, extending an open palm. 

“I know. I believe you. I’m not mad, I was just messing around. I’m so sorry, Virgil. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

It took a moment for anything to change, Patton sending reassuring smiles and Logan quietly counting out a pattern for Virgil to regain control over his breathing. Roman didn’t move, knelt beside the chair with his arm outstretched and waiting. 

When Virgil finally began to relax, his eyes clearing a bit, he let out a shaky sigh and warily took Roman’s hand, still visibly tense like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“Kiddo?” Patton called after a moment, taking a careful step forward. “You alright?” 

He saw Virgil nod, swallowing roughly. “I’m fine,” he muttered. “Sorry for...sorry about that.” 

Logan frowned, moving to stand beside Patton. “I fail to see what you could have to apologize for, Virgil.” 

Virgil shrugged and rested his chin on his knees, but he still held on to Roman’s hand like a lifeline, and the Prince made no move to pull away. 

“My sincerest apologies,” Roman said. “It wasn’t my intention to scare you. I mean, I’d be a rather lousy excuse for creativity if I couldn’t fix a little broken mug, right? It wouldn’t have been a bother even if you had broken it.” 

It got a small, unsure smile from Virgil, but the anxious side still didn’t look particularly calmed. 

“Besides,” Logan spoke up, something unreadable in his expression. “A broken dish is nothing that should cause you distress. I’m sure you know you can always inform us if an accident happens without consequence.” 

It took a moment for Virgil to answer, hands clutching the cloth of his new hoodie, but he eventually nodded, not looking like he entirely believed what he was being told. 

“Yeah,” he said, voice strained. “Yeah, I just thought...I don’t know. It’s whatever, you guys. I’m fine.” 

They begrudgingly dropped the subject after that, seeing as how keeping the spotlight on Virgil was only succeeding in making him more uneasy, but Patton was sure to make very clear that his door was open if Virgil ever wanted to talk about it. 

It had been a little over a week now, and no one had mentioned the incident again, instead going back to focusing on making sure Virgil felt safe and included like they had since learning his name. 

They were all getting closer, even in the short time since accepting him, and Virgil was visibly relaxing. He was still anxious and withdrawn, but less so everyday. Things were getting better. 

And then…

And then things got worse. 

Virgil was having an off day. They could all see he was a bit extra jumpy and unfocused throughout the day. 

It made sense, Thomas had been particularly stressed and Virgil, as his anxiety, was handling the brunt of it. But he hadn’t locked himself up in his room like he would have done a week prior, and Patton considered that progress.  

Virgil had finally started eating with them regularly as well, more often than not hanging around long enough to help with prep and cleanup. 

The four of them were cooking dinner tonight, careful to keep the atmosphere calm and lighthearted, and Patton wanted to squeal with happiness each time he saw a tentative smile cross Virgil’s face. 

Patton and Logan were handling most of the food while Virgil and Roman washed, dried and put away dishes as they went, the prince humming Disney songs loud enough for everyone to hear. 

It was nice. They were finally a family, just as they should be. 

Honestly, what happened next was entirely Patton’s fault. He hadn’t even been thinking about how the other side might interpret it. 

The kitchen was roomy but it wasn’t huge, and it was a bit crowded with all four of them working in it at the same time. Patton was moving away from checking the stove just as Virgil was moving to put a clean plate away and ended up bumping into his shoulder as he made his way back to Logan. 

It happened so fast, Patton didn’t even get a chance to try and catch the plate as it slipped from Virgil’s hands and hit the ground with a crash, shattering into pieces. 

It wasn’t a big deal. Things broke all the time. In the mindscape, especially with Roman, they could clean it up and snap a new one into existence in moments. For a second, Patton didn’t think anything of it. 

“Whoops,” he said, stepping away from the glass shards. “Sorry about that, kiddo. You ok there?” 

There wasn’t an answer, and when Patton looked up he realized Virgil wasn’t even looking at him. He was staring at Logan. 

Logan, who had turned around at the sound of the noise, knife still in hand from chopping vegetables, watching with a mix of concern and confusion. And Virgil’s expression held more terror than Patton had ever seen. 

“Virgil--” 

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he managed, Logan only seemed more confused when Virgil only seemed to focus on him. “I-I didn’t...It was an accident.” 

“We know Virgil,” Logan said carefully, but the reassurance only seemed to panic Virgil more, wide eyes moving now to all three watching sides. “We are not--” 

“Lo,” Patton called softly, heart breaking when he saw where Virgil’s eyes kept landing. “You need to put that down, kiddo.” 

Logan cocked his head slightly, eyes widening when he followed Patton’s gaze to the knife still clutched in his hand. “My apologies, Virgil. I hadn’t realized.” 

And maybe Logan moved a bit too fast, maybe Virgil was too far gone in his panic to hear the apology, but moving to set the knife down on the counter behind him only seemed to break the dam holding back the last of Virgil’s fear. 

He jumped back, Patton wincing in sympathy when his back collided with the edge of the counter, but he didn’t even seem to register the impact. 

“I’m sorry, I-I’m so s-sorry, please, please I-I’ll clean it up! I’ll clean it up right now y-you don’t have to be mad I won’t...please, I can fix it, I can--” 

Patton would hate himself for it later, but in his desperation Virgil was lowering himself towards the broken glass, eyes never leaving Logan, moving like he was going to grab the shards with his bare hands, and parental instinct took over. 

“No!” Patton hurried forwards to stop him, and while he did get Virgil away from the glass, the outburst and sudden movements were definitely not what Virgil needed. 

The anxious side’s eyes filled with tears as he scrambled as far back as he could get, breathing quick and erratic, words coming out in frantic gasps. 

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to...I’m so sorry I just thought--” 

“No, no it’s ok!” Patton’s vision was beginning to go blurry with his own tears. “I just didn’t want you to get cut on the glass!” 

But Virgil wasn’t listening, pressed up against the wall, hands moving to protect his face like he expected someone to hurt him. 

It was so much different from the Virgil they’d gotten to know, scared and anxious sometimes but refusing to let himself fall apart in front of anyone, always holding himself to some standard of composure. 

Roman was clutching Patton’s arm, keeping him from rushing forward again, the prince pale and frozen. Logan had set the knife down, clearly doing all he could to compose himself and understand the situation. 

“Virgil,” the logical side said after a moment, more hesitant than Patton had ever heard him. “It was just an accident. Nobody is going to be upset with you. And I assure you, nobody here would ever have any intention of causing you harm.” 

“Of course not,” Roman said, Patton quickly agreeing. “What on earth made you so frightened, Stormcloud?” 

Virgil didn’t answer, gaze still jumping from one side to another, tense and trembling as he seemed to struggle to understand what was being said to him. 

“I...I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. It seemed to be his go-to phrase tonight. “I didn’t m-mean to ruin things.” 

“Oh, sweetie,” Patton said, still unable to move forward, furiously wiping tears from his cheeks. “You didn’t ruin anything. I promise.” 

“I…I’m s...I’m sorry.” 

“Perhaps,” Logan said suddenly. “It would be of benefit to you to discuss this outside the kitchen. Do you require assistance getting to the living room?” 

Virgil was still trembling, curled into a ball, eyes red and jaw clenched tight. “I...I think so. Sorry, I just--” 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, kiddo.” Patton glanced at the glass scattered across the floor, then at Roman, the only side still wearing shoes. “Will you--?” 

“I’ve got him.” 

It took a minute, Patton moving to stand by Logan while Roman carefully made his way to Virgil’s side like he was approaching a wounded animal. 

Patton didn’t miss how badly Virgil flinched when Roman lowered himself to the floor, how tense he went when the prince made a move to touch his arm. 

“I won’t hurt you,” Roman said softly. “You have my word. Can I carry you to the couch, please?” 

Virgil nodded, hesitant, and Patton’s heart broke at the quiet whimper that escaped when Roman carefully lifted him bridal style from the kitchen floor. 

“You’re alright,” Princey promised, sending a worried glance over his shoulder as Logan turned off the stove. “You’re safe, you’re ok. We’re almost there.” 

They made it to the couch quickly, Patton and Logan following closely behind, the three of them allowing Virgil his own space as soon as he was set down on the cushion. 

He instantly took advantage of it, pressing himself as far back as he could, knees pulled up to his chest, refusing to look any of them in the eye. 

Logan was seated on the coffee table across from him, Patton carefully lowering himself onto the opposite end of the couch, Roman perched beside him on the arm. 

Logan cleared his throat, hands folded in his lap. “Virgil--” 

“I-I don’t know,” Virgil said, still horribly small and shaky. “I’m sorry I just...thought y-you would all be angry with me. Again. If I...I-if I messed up and then I did and I thought...I thought--”

“Nobody’s angry,” Patton said. “Never over something like this Virge. And even if we were...you don’t ever need to be afraid of us.” 

Virgil hunched his shoulders, staring resolutely down at his lap. “I’m sorry. I should have...I’m sorry.” 

“It’s ok, we--” 

“I just-” Virgil took a breath, knuckles turning white in his grip, the three sides falling silent as they waited, hoping silently. “I just don’t...I don’t want to leave.” 

Logan tilted his head, confused, looking to the others who were equally perplexed. “Leave...where? We of course would never force you to go to your room if you’d prefer company.” 

Virgil shook his head, briefly squeezing his eyes shut, and Patton’s chest clenched in sympathy as he watched him fight to get his thoughts together. 

“I mean I don’t...want to go back. This has all been really great. You’ve...you guys have been really great. And I know you-you didn’t really like me before and now that you know you n-need-need me you could...you could do whatever you want to me if I f-fuck up or...or make me leave and I don’t want to...to lose this.” 

“Oh, baby…” Patton scooted forward, unsure how to respond, feeling his heart break in two. “Can I...Virgil, can I hug you?” 

Virgil’s gaze shot up from his lap, shocked, but he nodded and let Patton wrap his arms around him, cringing at how badly he was shaking beneath his hoodie, pulling him against his chest. 

The anxious side’s breath hitched, and Patton just held him tighter as he finally dissolved into sobs, clutching at Patton’s shirt like he thought he would be ripped away at any second. 

Like Patton would ever let him go. 

“It’s ok, kiddo,” he promised. “It’s alright. You’re family now, remember? Nothing’s gonna happen to you.” 

“Indeed.” At some point, Logan had gotten up from the coffee table to sit beside them, carefully putting a comforting hand on Virgil’s back. “Even if we were angry over something, it would be an issue we could easily work out. Together. You never need to be afraid of losing us.” 

The logical side began to rub soothing circles along Virgil’s hoodie, a clear attempt to help him settle down, while Roman cautiously scooted forward and placed his palm over Virgil’s hand, Patton still holding on tight. 

“You’re one of us now,” Princey said. “Which means I am sworn to protect you! As long as I live and breathe, you’ll never be alone again! No harm shall ever--” 

“Alright, Roman,” Patton said, gazing fondly at a now smiling Virgil. “I think he gets it.” 

Virgil gave a small nod, pulling back slightly from Patton’s embrace, breaths still tiny, hiccuping sobs. “Yeah. Uh, thanks, you guys for...yeah. Thank you.” 

“No need to thank us for stating the truth,” Logan said. “However, based on your reaction tonight, and the fact that this is not the first time something like this has happened, the logical conclusion is that this mindset is not a new occurrence. Am I correct?” 

Patton thought about the broken mug, how terrified Virgil had looked when he’d thought they were upset with him, how he’d practically begged Roman to believe him when the prince had advanced. He thought about how tense Virgil would get whenever someone would raise their voice. 

It was becoming more and more of a struggle not to start crying again. 

“I guess so,” Virgil murmured, cheeks flushed red. “I mean, I’m literally Anxiety. I’ve had some, uh, bad experiences, I guess.” 

“Kiddo--” 

“No, no it’s fine!” Patton didn’t miss how tightly Virgil was squeezing Roman’s hand now. “It’s my fault, it’s...I should have said something. I should’ve...warned you guys, and I’m r-really sorry.” 

Roman leaned forward, brow pinched. “Warned us?” 

“About all of this,” Virgil said, like it was something obvious. “I’m not...easy to deal with. You guys know that already but it’s not just my function, it’s...it’s just me. I’m difficult and I-I don’t know how to fix it and I’m really s--” 

“But we don’t want you to fix it,” Patton exclaimed before Virgil could apologize again. “We care about you, kiddo! Everyone’s gonna have flaws and setbacks. All of us, but that’s why you have family!” 

“We do want you to feel safe here,” Logan added. “We’re all willing to assist you in feeling more comfortable. But we have no desire to change or fix you. I for one, have quite enjoyed getting to know you properly.” 

Patton and Logan agreed without hesitation, beaming when Virgil hesitantly met each of their gazes. He looked like he was seconds away from bursting into tears again, but this time it would be from something much different than fear and devastation. 

“Oh,” he said, small but hopeful. “I...ok. Uh, same. To the...to the getting to know you guys thing. It’s been...it’s been really good.” 

Patton smiled, giving Virgil one last squeeze before scooting back, clapping his hands together. 

“I’m glad, kiddo,” he said. “You still up for dinner? Logan might even let us have ice cream for dessert!” 

“Uh, yeah,” Virgil managed, Roman leading him to his feet while Logan rolled his eyes with a fond smile. “I-I’m good.” 

“Excellent!” Roman was already making his way back to the kitchen. “I’ll clean up the glass and then we can continue!” 

“I can help if you--”

“Nonsense!” Roman disappeared  around the corner, already belting another Disney song, and Patton carefully took Virgil’s hands in his. 

He was still a bit wary, but Patton could practically see him fighting against it, battling every instinct screaming at him to pull away, isolate himself out of self defense. 

But he was still here. Still learning to love. 

Patton couldn’t be more proud. 

“Come on,” he said, pulling him towards the stairs. “No bare feet tonight, just to be safe. Don’t worry, I’ll let you borrow some of my fuzzy socks.” 

[prismatales]

Reunion

Word Count: 1.8k

Bingo slot: Saying goodbye

Pairings: None

Tag/Warnings: Angst, Vague body horror, swearing

Synopsis: You've always been there for each other, this time was no different.

Introducing yet another entry for @bnhabookclub 's bingo event as well as a new sibling request! This time with the "Saying goodbye" slot. 

Thank you so much @pixxiesdust and @hawks-senseis for beta reading this for me! ❤

It was already hard enough when one has to witness their whole family falling apart and being unable to do anything about it, but it’s even harder when the reason is all because of the actions of someone who should be caring for that very same family in the first place.

But what could you expect when you consider this ‘family’ is nothing but a repulsive lie? A disgusting facade meant to hide the only reason you were even brought into this world in the first place?

It wasn’t fair to be forced to pretend to be a normal family outside this place that could easily be compared to a prison. A place that others had the luck to call 'home'.

But for your siblings and your poor mother? This was hell of earth itself.

Those thoughts fill your mind with venom, corrupting everything related to hero society and everyone serving under their corrupted principles, at the same time that your hands are busy applying ointment to one of the few who’s suffered just as much because of this corrupted system.

Your little brother shifts in place, trying to fight back unshed tears as the medicine touches the sensitive skin around his left eye. The physical proof of the pain your family had to endure on a daily basis, a consequence from the ambition of one man that you have the unfortunate luck of sharing blood ties with.

“Nee-san, it hurts.” Shouto’s whimpers pull you back from the horrendous thoughts that linger deep inside, tainting everything remotely connected to heroes.

“I’m sorry snowflake, but please bear with it just a little bit longer, this medicine is going to heal your burn in no time!” You reassure the little boy sitting on his futon, who doesn’t stop squirming in place as the skin around his left eye is being carefully covered with ointment, before being wrapped with bandages to prevent the risk of infection.

“There, all done!” He lets out a small sniffle when your hand pats his head softly, caressing the locks of hair underneath with a touch full of love and affection towards the youngest sibling “Just you wait, it should stop hurting so much in a couple of days, can my little snowflake hold on?” 

He looks up at you, nodding weakly with sad, tired eyes that make the pain inside increase dramatically, nearly to the point of tears when you think about everything Shouto has to go through because of him. 

“Mhm.” It’s the only answer you get from the small child nodding off tiredly. He wraps his little arms around you, clinging to your neck just like a little koala as the sheets of his bed are pulled back for him to climb into bed, once he’s lying down on the soft mattress, the blankets are pulled over until they cover him all the way to his soft, chubby cheeks. 

It takes less than five minutes for Shouto to start falling asleep, but not without him giving you a sweet smile and a whisper that breaks your heart into a million pieces before he slips away into a deep slumber. 

“Can we go to the summer festival next week?”

You have to fight back unshed tears, smiling softly at the little boy before nodding in approval.

“...Of course.”

Your hands instantly fly to cover your mouth, it’s but a sorry attempt to fight back the sobs threatening to turn into painful, heart-breaking cries when his words are repeated in your head over and over again, almost like a painful mockery as you stare at the little boy sound asleep.

“I’m sorry, snowflake…”

Your hands caress his mixed strands one last time, before leaning down to give him a soft peck on his forehead. While he sleeps, an envelope is pulled from behind the back pocket of your shorts, that is quickly placed down underneath the boy’s pillow. 

Quickly, you stand up to walk out of the room, closing the door as quietly as possible to avoid disturbing Shouto, and make a dash for your own room where there’s a bag waiting on the bed.

Tears run down your face, combined with a pathetic mixture of pain and grief by the idea of everything, and everyone that would be left behind because of your selfish actions. But even if you choose to stay home, there would be no difference. 

After all, Touya told you what he overheard your dear father was planning to do; Setting you up for a quirk marriage with the son of a family that lived overseas.

When you heard the news, the anger was such that it made the whole garden fall victim to your quirk. Leaving a frozen wasteland all across its path.

As if you’d ever accept that fate without fighting back, but knowing Endeavor, he won’t take no for an answer. You know it’s selfish, that running away would leave nothing but a heavy burden on all of your siblings, one that you’ve been enduring for years if it meant at least they’d be the ones capable of having a somewhat normal life. 

But with this dreaded antict your father was willing to pull for the sake of his ambitions, the outcome would be the same. Either way, you’d never be able to see your family again...

Wiping the liquid embodiment of the doubts and fears, your eyes turn stone cold. Determined to break free from this nightmare, you quickly grab the bag to swing it over your shoulder and walk out of your bedroom. 

Thank god Natsuo and Fuyumi were already asleep, and your father wasn’t around, too busy with a mission to realize there would be someone else missing at home by the time he came back.

Heading to the backdoor, nothing can change your mind about this decision, not even the pain that threatens to consume you thinking about how much this will hurt your little snowflake.

But when you think about the circumstances, all that pain quickly disappears and eventually. In a matter of hours, you finally leave behind the life bound to an endless cycle of abuse. 

All you can do is pray that your siblings will be able to understand the reason why you have to leave them behind. If only they knew that you wouldn’t be alone in this journey, maybe then it would be easier for them to understand…

“You’re spacing out again, focus on the mission.” 

You look up towards the man standing beside you with a look of pure indifference on his features. Dabi’s stare doesn’t change when he makes eye contact with your bored self, too busy looking around the burning forest to pay attention to anything else.

“I was just thinking.” Instead of giving him a clear answer, your attention focuses on Toga, who couldn’t stop rambling in glee about these new friends she made, as well as the guy she ‘fell in love with.’ Sometimes, her demeanor kind of reminded you of Fuyumi when she mentioned her very first crush. 

“Do you think they’re doing okay?” You look back at the waves of blue destruction that flicker rampant across the forest “Sometimes I can’t help thinking about them, you know?” 

Breathing deeply, you don’t pay attention to the way Dabi looks at you. Knowing exactly what’s going through your head, but he’s always been better suppressing his feelings, which is why he doesn’t say anything.

He doesn’t get the chance to answer when Mr. Compress comes crashing down before your group, along with another three people restraining him. When you see a familiar face between the teenagers, time seems to stop once you recognize the face of one of them.

It’s Shouto, the little boy that used to cling to your neck for dear life, the same kid that would always run straight into your arms after a particularly harsh training session was right there, holding down one of your comrades so he could rescue his classmate.

“...Snowflake?” 

Dabi sees the look of surprise all over your face and is quick to react when he sees you taking a step forward, trying to approach the youngest of your siblings without thinking twice about it.

You’re pulled back harshly to your brother’s side, despite the initial struggle against his hold. But when he gives you a small glare that hides a slight sense of panic, it’s when you realize that the little stunt could have blown your covers with the League.

You were lucky to be wearing a disguise, otherwise, Shouto could have easily recognized you. But it did nothing to help when you threw a signature attack; a wall of light blue fire that froze everything it touched.

The moment those flames came to life, Shouto’s eyes became wide open as he made sure none of his friends were afflicted. He knew just one person capable of using an attack like this one. But there was little he could do when all the villains disappeared through the warp gate, including Dabi, who was too busy holding Bakugou hostage.

 As soon as you’re back through the warp gate, both you and Dabi walk away from the group and stand outside the bar all by yourselves. 

You can’t help looking down at the floor and hug yourself. Just coming face to face with your little brother brought back all the memories. Like the time Shouto got that burn on his face, and the last time you were able to see your mother after she was sent away.

“You know that little stunt could have cost us everything, right?” he asks, aware of just how blunt he’s being. One hand rests over your head, a futile attempt to comfort you.

“I know, but I couldn’t help it. When I saw Shouto, all I could think about was the little kid that would follow me around like a lost puppy.” The chuckle you give him is almost pathetic, almost as much as the sad smile all over your face. “Sorry for not being as tough as you…”

He pokes your sides hard enough to make you yelp in surprise. Rubbing on the abused ribs, you send a glare in his direction, and Dabi can’t fight back that grin that crawls into his face. 

Jerk.

“Do I need to remind you who helped me that one time I got hurt? Who was the one who froze off that fucker’s arms like they were nothing?” His fingers dig into your sides again just to be pushed away “It was you, idiot. And you had this murderous look on your face the whole time. You’re tougher than you think.”

With a bashful look, you punch Dabi on the shoulder before laughing slightly. It’s been like this since the time you ran away from home, taking care of each other no matter what.

“Let’s go back. The boss is going to throw a fit if we’re not there to greet the newbie.” 

“Alright, alright. After you, overcooked bastard.”

“Bitch.”

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