#THERES SO MANY POSSIBILITIES SO MUCH POTENTIAL
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i been playing the roblox game based on scp 3008 for exactly 3 days now and i thought about the source and world building and ideas for this game a little bit too much that uh. i developed a brain worm and am picturing a whole society and new civilization surrounding it
#art#scp foundation#scp 3008#roblox 3008#UH#IDFK MAN#ITS JUST SO COOL#THERES SO MANY POSSIBILITIES SO MUCH POTENTIAL#vro this can be insanely in depth#i know it already is but the amount of work and stories you can create surrounding this concept#im in love#honeysnap
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fnaf x dbd has soo much potential bc IMAGINE theres a vanny cosmetic on top of springtrap and Vanessa is the female survivor. in the Dracula chapter Dracula and the survivor from his chapter have unique voicelines if they're in a game together going against eachother, like Dracula will regard him specifically when with anyone else it'll just be his normal lines
IMAGINE if vanny and vanessa had something similar where vanny is taunting vanessa in a way, trying to tell her that she'll get her in the end and she'll be trapped and she cant escape her. it would be generic cool "I'm evil and chasing you" lines but have a meaningful double meaning bc of vanessa BEING vanny and her having to work to 'make up' for what she did as vanny. like the very embodiment of her trauma and past coming back to get her and it's her worst nightmare
#guys this chapter has so much potential as someone whos familar with dbd and has seen them#progressively take more risks with their chapters and get more creative and free with their ideas#fnaf could have the most cool insane shit ever but im so scared itll just be springtrap killer and security guard survivor and thats it#and cosmetics are like toxic springtrap from fnaf AR or something#like fnaf x dbd is a win no matter what but#theres too many characters and potential and iconicness to all of them to just do one killer#theyve literally done complete cosmetic characters multiple times before#steve in stranger things had a cosmetic that literally just turned him into jonathan with different voicelines and everyrhing#the chucky chapter had chucky as the killer and tiffany as a cosmetic but they different lines#like this is so possible#pandas.txt#pre fnaf x dbd#thoughts
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Episode 91 Nara to Neil: Is it because you know, because you know that my affection is a means to an end or do you feel something for Wynn and don't know how to say it?
Episode 95 Neil to Wynn: If this is a moment where there’s a line in the sand about us staying together, you know I’ll follow you to go die.
Episode 91 Neil to Nara: I haven’t known these things maybe for a long time, and so I just sit in inaction because I don’t know.
Episode 95 Narration of Neil by Rob: When Wynn confirms to Britta that she’s in love with Kabir, Neil goes stock still.
#path of night podcast#i am the very definition of this meme#there's gotta be something here right??? right???????#what would be real fun that would be an absolutely massive undertaking would be pulling out all these little moments between neil and wynn#that could potentially show some sort of interest from neil bcuz lbr u are lying to yourself if u didnt at some point go hm neil and wynn??#so was the ladder neil admitting to himself he doesn't know if he's in love with wynn or was the ladder confirming that he is in love#with wynn bcuz its his own sub conscious who posited this#and how long do you have to be thinking about something for it to manifest in the ladder#we got suicidal neil and neil possibly in love with wynn in one fell swoop#the ladder was just chalk full of so many implications there for everyone ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh#also hmmmm parallels between neil's ladder with the new york skyline and the suicide talk to wynn and neil on the roof at the rave talking#hmmmmmmmmmm#why do i do this to myself#its so much searching and then fucking around with puncuation sorry for the atrocious punctuation i am not a transcriber#theres also no way to accurately capture tone of voice or the silences and emphases imo#like wynn when she says yeah to answer britta's question on whether she's in love with kabir#also considered including the follow up “he doesn't mean the most to me but i am in love with him” line from wynn like cmon#im dying here
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#dont mind me just thinking about all the wasted potential in the world at half 1 in the morning#anyways context: was specifically thinking of one person i knew who was just. so genuinely good at writing#and this was when we were Young. like always just had a knack for it. great at description and creativity and just writing in a beautiful#way. but isnt and probably will never be a writer.#and how many other people are like that? where they are Good at something. they enjoy it. but because of life they end up leaving it behind#IM GONNA FUCKING CRY!!!#not to mention im kinda envious tbh. like i wish i had something i just inherently had a knack for. but im genuinely just mediocre at#everything. dont get me wrong ive come to appreciate that over the years#but theres just something about. idk. like an inherent talent#idk idk#if you are someone whos good at something. like just really and truly good. i hope you are able to keep with it. and that you can love it as#much as humanly possible#le text post
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"reading under the red hood and it's pretty good i think" - jason todd fan who has only seen the cartoon adaptation of under the red hood
#getting my hands on the comic for utrh is cracking my entire brain open about werewolf fic like you don't understand#the cartoon movie was pretty tight but the comic is more robust. and yall the themes for werewolf fic...they're all coming together#now if only i could write the girls fighting FR I'M TOO SOFT YOU GUYS OTL#i'm just feeling insane over the first confrontation with bruce and how Jason tells him that 'gotham is evil'#and 'you have to fight her where she lives' and 'i live there' LIKE#it's only fueling my crazed impression that the end to Jason's philosophy has only two ends#when he's done what he's set out to do and rid the world of evil by cutting it out (which is futile; blind and toothless etc but details)#either: he changes his philosophy and becomes the very type of villain he hates or he dies himself. because he also deserves death#'i live there' ARE YOU KIDDING ME???#sorry if this is Not News to people or if Jason has had some serious growth vis a vis this entire mindset but like.#I'M INSANE ABOUT IT. I'M CHEWING ON IT FOREVER#and bruce is the wrong person to try to sway Jason off this path. theres way too much baggage too much history too many complicated feeling#but...tim...? >.>#tim i think has enough 'this is not my philosophy this is company policy and i'm the worlds okayest employee' energy to eventually do it#like obviously stuff would need to Happen for it to be possible lol but you guys. this is what made jaytim so tasty to me in the first plac#tim being capable of meeting jason halfway like bruce can't; tim being able to hold the conversation with jason without it collapsing#tim having rebuttals to jason's arguments that might actually get somewhere with him eventually...#i'm not saying it would be fast or easy or even make sense in canon lmao but think there's a lot of fic potential there owo#like tim's vicious streak is something jason would appreciate. :3c#local jaytim fic author rambles about jaytim in the tags once again more at eleven lol anyway#jason todd#dc
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Ohhhh no it just occured to me that Im probably gonna be seeing a unbearable hoard of bad aro hcs in the dst tag this month huh. Uhhhh gentle reminder that just because Wx used to be human doesn't make hcing them as aro risk free pls be careful with that. Aro ppl who hc them as aro ur fine keep up the good work 👍
#rat rambles#dst#wx-78#like theyre arospec in my hcs so I wish I could be happy abt the idea of seeing aro wx stuff but alas I do not trust ppl with aro hcs#in casw youre curious the quick rundown of potential wx aro problems#just because they used to be human the aro robot trope could still become a problem if you chose to tie it to their empathy module#like thats quite possibly the worst thing you could do like thats fucked on so many levels#relating to that is the risk of evil aro and emotionless aro shit#this doesnt necesarily mean saying their aro because their evil directly but I dont have time to go too into detail since I need to shower#oh but one last thing mean aro is also a thing#rly the big thing is just like. think abt how you would word your reason for hcing them as aro#for example if its like yeah I think theyre too busy planning world domination to care abt romance then I am very much not a fan lol#because that kind of stuff rly ties together romantic attraction and relationships in a way I rly dont like#like idk. if theres a character that considers friendship a waste of time we wouldnt say theyre incapable of liking ppl#it just heavily simplifies the aro experience in a way that can also easily lead to other writing issues#for example the framing of aromanticism as a personal disinterest in dating gives room for a specific reason theyre not interested in it#for example. being a robot. or being evil. fun stuff like that#ok god its late I cant keep going on like this idk I might talk abt it more at another point or if I see ppl being dumb lol
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DAMMIT . at that point where im like "do i draw cherry and socks too much......."
#BUT LIKE.. I WANT TO DRAW THWM !!!#they have so much potential theres so many possibilities#but i dont have enough time#txt
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would you make a Klaus fic, where he and reader are under a sex spell? just a sex magic fic, you can decide on the plot🥰
love your fics btw💕
Warning:Dubcon cause sex pollen, talk and use of sex toys, desperate/passionate fucking, needy Hybrid sex, brief realization of Yandere behavior at the end
‘You’re joking!’ I exclaimed, unable to unhear what Bonnie had just told me.
‘No, not at all. We need to keep you away from everyone else because this spell can potentially effect others who come in contact with you. Caroline has already said you can stay in her parents cabin, Damon is taking you there now.’ She shooed me out of the room and outside to Damon’s car.
‘Get in the back!’ He snapped as I moved to slide into the passenger seat. ‘I don’t need this shit effecting me next-‘
‘Why can’t I just stay in the cell in the basement? That way I won’t be alone…I’m scared-‘
‘Because Klaus was hit by that shit too, we don’t know if he knows what it was yet and with how desperate he is for you every other day without being bewitched, I can’t even imagine what he would do with you now.’ He explained as if I were a small stupid child and I wanted to hit him desperately.
A warlock coming after Elena (as always) for Doppelgänger blood for one of his spells had attacked us. I had grabbed a potted plant outside of the Grille and cracked it over his head which gave Elena enough time to run and find Damon, though as he whirled around to me there was suddenly an angry Hybrid standing in front of me which gave the Warlock pause.
Klaus had seemingly taken an interest in me as soon as he arrived in town and while I don’t encourage him, I’m also not cruel or mean either, which seemed to make him think he had a chance.
The man reached into his jacket and pulled out a small spell bag before dumping some pink powder into his hand and blowing it at the both of us. I couldn’t help but inhale it, only breathing in more when I began choking and hearing Klaus do the same, my eyes and nose burning as I felt his hands holding onto me. Though he was still coughing himself he checked on me (which I found very sweet), hands on my face and inspecting me before brushing the powder off of me leading to me returning the favor. He had no clue what it was and neither did I but after a quick thanks I left to find my friends and a witch to tell me what the fuck I just inhaled.
Turns out we had both been choking on a very powerful potion that people had dubbed “Sex Pollen”. Many witches used to use it several hundred years ago but most stopped once people began insisting that it led to way too many people becoming effected (since all you needed to do was injest a drop) and ending up sexually assaulting whoever came across their path. The potion is typically in a liquid form but talented witches can make it in a powder, however it is about ten times more potent.
‘Stay here, theres food and water, TV, books. Everything you could possibly need. Caroline also bought you some…play things…to help. God this is so gross, they’re in the bedroom. Get out of my car-‘
‘No! How long do I have to stay here?!’ I snapped making him roll his eyes.
‘Bonnie said in the powder form it can take several hours to kick in but it lasts a few days, though with how much you breathed in probably a week at least. Go! Before you infect me too and we really have a problem!’ I grabbed the bag that Elena had packed me and slid out of the car, walking inside and locking the door behind me with a heavy sigh.
‘Fuck All Of You Assholes!’ I screamed, hating my friends for abandoning me just so they wouldn’t suffer as well before I looked around the cabin, finding the bedroom with a large California King that was quite comfortable. I also came across a basket on the bed which contained a rechargeable wand, a 7 inch pink suction cup dildo, a butt plug and a bottle of salted caramel flavored lube. ‘Why The Fuck Was She So Thorough?!’
I set the basket aside and stripped out of my shirt and jeans as I began feeling warm, climbing into the bed under the sheet and deciding to try and take a nap before I get hit with killer horniness.
The nap didn’t last more than an hour before I woke up rolling around restlessly, my body sweating now as a hot feeling in my stomach began intensifying. I couldn’t tell you how long I laid there writhing in misery before I heard a loud knock at the door, instantly hating the world that much more.
‘What are you doing here?!’ I snapped as I finally dragged myself to the front door, moody and uncomfortable which made me unable to be kind.
‘I thought I would come and assist you. Wouldn’t want you suffering through this alone, now would we?’ Klaus asked, looking every bit as put together as always but I could see in his eyes how desperate he was. I could also see his impressive bulge tenting his jeans.
‘How did you find me? I was-never mind. Go away Klaus!’ I groaned, moving to shut the door.
‘I followed Damon, he wasn’t very careful, my guess is he didn’t much care if I found you. They just wanted you away from them before they had to suffer too, your friends that you protected sent you away to save themselves. Seems really selfish to me.’ Any other day I would disagree but with how I was feeling I couldn’t argue with him, prompting me to agree.
‘You’re right…Fuck them! Couldn’t even put me downstairs! Had to leave me all alone!’ I raged as I was overcome by a cramping pain straight down to my pussy causing me to double over.
‘Invite me in Love, let’s help each other? It’s going to be days with only brief hours of relief between…let me help you get some relief?’
‘Klaus, I can’t-‘
‘You want me just as much as I want you, don’t lie!’ He growled, eyes glowing gold now as he showed how desperate he really was, so far gone that he wasn’t able to hide it anymore.
‘It’s just this stupid magic-‘
‘No! No, I’ve wanted you since I first set eyes on you, and you…you need me too.’ His hand reached down to grab his crotch, pupils nearly swallowing his entire eye whole. ‘I can make your pussy feel so good baby, you need me! Who else could go anywhere near as long as a Hybrid, huh?’ He was right, if anyone could help me it was Klaus, especially with how pent up he is himself. ‘Please Y/n? I need to be buried in your little cunt, and you know you need it too! Your fingers can’t help you the way my cock can and I know you’ve dreamt of my cock in your needy little pussy since long before this ever happened-Fuck! I Need You! Please?!’ He begged and as I felt a rush of wetness coat my panties I whined, nodding my head. ‘Say it Y/n…Say It!’
‘Come in Klaus! Please?! I need-‘ I didn’t get to finish my statement before I was tackled to the floor with the Hybrid yanking his pants open and shoving them down enough to free himself before tearing my panties off of my body and shoving himself into me roughly.
‘So Fucking Perfect! Knew your cunt would be perfect! Tightest little cunt-Fuck! Never gonna stop fucking you baby!’
‘Yes! Don’t Stop! Fuck Klaus, your cock! So good!’ Tears leaked from my eyes as he continued thrusting into my body. The sound of skin slapping together echoing through the house and out the front door that hung on one hinge from where the Hybrid had nearly ripped it off as he entered. ‘Oh Fuck!’ I threw my head back against the carpet as my first orgasm rushed through me out of nowhere, only realizing he had finished with me when I felt the hot cum inside of me as he continued thrusting, never once even slowing down.
‘I need to feel you squeeze me again Babygirl, cum for me! Cum for your Alpha!’ The second orgasm was just as strong as the first as I came and felt his body tense up as well before he finally stilled, breathing heavily into my neck.
‘I think…we’re in trouble…’ I panted heavily and he chuckled before looking down at me, hesitating only a second before pressing his lips to mine in a soft, lovely kiss. ‘Don’t stop.’ I insisted when he pulled back, grabbing onto his neck and pressing my lips to his this time as I enjoyed our kiss.
‘This isn’t how I wanted it to happen, I wanted to take you on a date, show you how much I love you…then I was going to fuck you…wanted to make you feel so good you would never leave me again-‘
‘It’s okay, you’ve just done it backwards…you can still take me out, just after this is over because I don’t think people would appreciate you fucking me over our table.’ I teased, enjoying the genuine smile that I got from him, only ever seeing it when he looks at me which has always made me feel special.
‘That’s the spell talking-‘
‘I liked you before that you idiot! I just never really thought you were all that serious.’ I admitted, pushing him up and feeling his (once again) hard cock slide out of me as he helped me stand up.
‘How could you think that? I’ve gone out of my way to show you-your friends told you I was using you, didn’t they?’ I nodded and he huffed a heavy sigh before wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into a rough kiss. ‘I love you, regardless of any doppelgänger or your awful friends. After all of this I will take you out properly, I promise…but until then-‘
‘No! No more floor fucking, there’s furniture and a bed here for a reason, no more carpet, it hurts.’ I explained, feeling the rug burn against my back and ass.
‘No more rugs, but I need you now.’ He growled, lifting me by my thighs and appearing in the bedroom instantly, dropping me onto the bed. Just as he spread my legs he paused, glancing over to the table and reaching out to grab the basket with the things Caroline had left. ‘What-‘
‘Caroline left them for me. I guess she wanted to help me since I’m all alone.’
‘Interesting…does she know you well, or not?’ He wondered, picking up the butt plug and raising his eyebrows making me blush as my body started sweating.
‘Klaus! Stop the teasing and get inside me! The cramps are starting, so if you’re not going to help me then get the Fuck out and I’ll do it my-Ah!’ I cried out, feeling the rounded end of the plug pressing to my tight hole and rubbing against it. ‘Oh God!’ Klaus took the lube bottle and squeezed a healthy amount onto the plug before tossing it to the other side of the bed and pressing it back against my ass.
‘Relax Precious, this is going to make it feel so much better!’ He promised, pushing the plug harder until it popped into my hole. Klaus could feel his cock throbbing even harder at the sight of the jewel on the end of the plug. ‘You are so fucking perfect! How do you fee-‘
‘Klaus! Please?!’ I begged, pulling him closer and yanking at his shirt before getting it off and sighing in relief at the feel of his hot skin against mine.
Klaus shoved his jeans and boxers the rest of the way off, finally naked as well before taking hold of his cock and pushing himself back inside of me. ‘There you are love, feels so fucking good, doesn’t it? Both of your slutty little holes stuffed up?’
‘T-Too much-Never-‘
‘Never been so full before, I know Baby! I-Fuck!’ Suddenly as if he could no longer control himself he began thrusting into me frantically. ‘Mine! My Fucking Cunt!’ He snarled, Hybrid visage taking over as he fucked into me so hard I briefly wondered if he could shatter my pelvis like this.
‘Yes! Yours! All yours, don’t stop! Please don’t stop?!’
Y/n couldn’t have said how long Klaus continued like that. How long he thrust into her cunt at a painful speed, how many times the both of them had climaxed together while he still continued to fuck his (somehow still) hard cock into her, she couldn’t even say how many times he had buried his fangs into her throat in an effort to mark her as his like a werewolf marking his mate…and maybe he was. Odds are she was never getting away from him now-not that she wanted to.
It was a week later that Damon finally came back to the house to check on her finding the front door ripped open.
He ventured inside, not hearing anything and figuring that it was over for Y/n and who was inevitably Klaus that had torn the door off the hinges. He was prepared with jokes galore for the the drive back, excited to pick on the young girl for giving into the monster that had been after her for months but sadly he never got to use those jokes.
Damon opened the door to the bedroom to find his girlfriends friend snuggled into Klaus Mikaelson’s naked chest fast asleep. The Hybrid however seemed to have awoken as soon as he turned the doorknob, his yellow eyes finding his with an intensity that he had never seen. He bore his fangs, lifting his head and Damon (one of the only people who had never truly feared Klaus Mikaelson) was instantly terrified. It was like a bucket of ice water dumped on him, alarm bells ringing in his head declaring the danger that he is in prompting him to throw up his hands instantly. As Klaus moved to sit up, the young vampire shut the door promptly and hightailed it back to his car, peeling back down the driveway.
He doesn’t know how long that stuff will take to wear off but it definitely hasn’t yet and he would not be disturbing them again!
Y/n and Klaus were in the house for nearly 2 weeks before they felt as if their bodies were back to normal though they stayed for another week after that. No one could have imagined how close such a spell would bring them…no one except Klaus of course.
The witch he had hired to make that powder had done a wonderful job, money well spent in the Hybrids mind. The spell had worked better than he ever could have imagined and it had gotten him exactly what he wanted.
The only thing left to do was to kill the witch that had helped him and ensure that his mate never learned that he was the one who had dosed her.
He finally had his girl, he couldn’t let something so trivial ruin it.
Klaus Mikaelson Masterlist
#the vampire diaries#the originals#the vampire diares imagine#the originals imagine#vampire#hybrid#tvd klaus#niklaus mikaelson#niklaus imagine#klaus imagine#klaus x reader#klaus x y/n#klaus x oc#klaus smut#klaus mikaelson#klaus mikaelson fluff#klaus mikaelson x oc#klaus mikaelson x reader#klaus mikaelson smut#klaus mikaelson imagine#klaus mikaelson one shot#joseph morgan#use of toys#s*x pollen#bewitched with s*x pollen#possessive Klaus Mikaelson
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why people don't like you ₊˚⊹ 💬🎀
okay this is not as harsh as the title suggests but i wanted to put it literally bcuz this is a problem i've struggled with for the longest time. im gonna be brutally honest here. there are so many reasons why ur not of the social status you want to be or don't have as many friends as you like yadda yadda yadda. SO ,, here's my thoughts on why that's the case , and how to help! 🫶🏻🎀💬
──★ ˙ ̟🎀you're fake
whether its cuz ur trying to "fit in" or because you have a completely different personality stored in the back for everyone you meet, ur fake. its very simple. its not necessarily a bad thing, it just means ur insecure.
🧁�� ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?
stop trying so hard girl. it's not that deep. there are 8 billion people on this earth and counting, u really think this person's gonna matter when ur living ur dreams and thriving even more than you ever imagined you could? no. move on. next please!
find out who the fuck you genuinely are. you're never gonna live your life if YOU aren't the one living it. once you get a start on finding who YOU are it's gonna make you more authentic -> more magnetic -> more attractive in every single way, including social.
u arent obligated to fit in. think about the type of people that you see in the street and you stare a while at, the type of people who stand out from a crowd for whatever reason, the people u look up to, ur idols who you could never imagine to meet in a thousand years; do you think they fit in? do you think merging with a crowd is what made them appeal to you so much? no. think abt that.
wake the fuck up and realise u deserve better. why are you neglecting yourself by hiding yourself from the world? would u do that to anyone else? would u get anyone else to change themselves just so they can fit in? girl get a hold of urself!!! you've been through so much and youve made it so far and yet you're still pretending to be someone you aren't?? you deserve SO much better. people who truly deserve you will always love you for you, no one else.
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur too awkward / anxious
i want to preface this by saying theres nothing wrong w this at all and i completely understand but ur gonna face some problems of people interacting with you. or you interacting w them. or both. i was diagnosed w generalised anxiety disorder when i was 11, so i understand how much this can impact ur life not just socially but in all areas.
⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?
first thing im gonna mention to preface is this can be a symptom of an underlying condition u may need to get checked out. if its impacting ur everyday life please seek therapy, i am not a professional and cannot help u w this, even if i'd like to. i love u ♡
find what is making u anxious. what about social interaction is scary to you, and why? why does interacting w others make u nervous? is there a specific thing ur worried about or u find nervewracking? always. find. the root!
have compassion and empathy and patience w yourself. its perfectly okay and normal to some extent to feel like this and of course we're all gonna feel like this sometimes but its important to treat urself with care, especially in these times.
treat urself as u would a child. i recommend treating urself like a friend a lot but when ur in a delicate and emotional state like this its better to treat urself like ur ur own child. take care of urself with the same love and attentiveness as you would your own children and give yourself time and take care of yourself to work through the issue. ♡
break things down and take it slow and simple. break it into steps and PUT. YOURSELF. FIRST until u feel able to go back out into the public again and be That Girl ♡
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur straight up mean
this can be anywhere from just being generally disinterested in people, being constantly negative all of the time to being just really shitty and rude. we all have the same potentials and possibilities but sometimes we can fall into the trap of negative patterns when interacting with others, which is okay. everyone messes up sometimes. but the important thing is is that we fall back out of that and become even better for it!
💬𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?
try ur best to put ur ego aside and think about yourself from an outside perspective. would you wanna be friends with you? if you were another person, how would you think people feel around you?
(🗒🎀 note: if that's too difficult, create someone in ur head or mentally assign ur traits, the good and bad, to someone you dont really know, and think ab how youd feel around them. insecure? jealous? confident? excited? nervous? think about it.)
i know it sounds weird but literally just sit down and talk to people close to u when you get the chance or the opportunity comes up and ask if anything you do comes off rude or blunt or abrupt or any sort of negative trait you think might be the issue here. or just subtly (or directly, either one works) try and find out their opinions on you so u can figure out if that aligns w what and how u wanna be, and then how you can change that.
just be generally more sweet and polite. people are easily gonna like you more if ur not a total dick. stop being mean to people, say please and thank you, compliment strangers, smile at everyone, put ur ego aside cuz its really not that deep girl.
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur too nice / people pleaser
okay being nice is not a bad thing. there is a fine line between being THE nice girl and being A nice girl. there is a fine line between being kind and being a pushover. you don't have to sacrifice urself to be nice to people. being nice should go both ways!
🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?
first things first, like all things and like i've said a billion times before, you need to address the root of what is causing you to act like this. this should always be the first thing you do when addressing any problem, esp w urself. why are you acting like this? what is causing you to endlessly seek approval like this and sacrifice urself in the process? think.
start saying no to people, even to the littlest things. if you want to do it then sure, but start saying no so much more often. it gives you a sense of control and shows you only you have a choice in the things you do in ur life, no one else.
define kindness. is what ur getting in return to this unconditional self sacrifice genuine kindness, or friendship, or respect, or attention, or whatever else you assume you're receiving from all of this? only you can answer that. ask urself what the genuine meaning of all the things ur trying to gain from this are and then see if that aligns w what ur receiving. (🗒🎀 note: also read this post of mine for more on this! ♡)
again, therapy is gonna help a lot w this. if this is making an impact on ur life, social or otherwise, then i am not a professional and cannot help u w this (as much as id like to). ily and i believe in u ♡
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 you seem "unapproachable / intimidating"
people are threatened by talent. people are threatened by beauty. people are threatened by what they aren't. so, congrats! you've achieved your goal! 🩷💭
🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?
i told my therapist once that people have told me i seem rude, unapproachable, intimidating, etc. and i felt really upset about it because i dont wanna come off that way. i wanna be nice and approachable and someone people can talk to. and she asked me what i would do if my favourite celebrity or famous person or whatever was my age and was walking through my school. i told her i'd think they were really cool and want to be friends with them, but wouldn't be sure how to go about it bcuz they'd be super intimidating. think about that.
🗒️🎀 note: but if you do find that people say this or act like this around you a lot, then you might need to do some introspection and ask urself if anything ur doing makes people feel like that rather than their own insecurities and mindset. ♡
i just want to quickly add that not everybody is going to like you. everyone feels a general sense of dislike from time to time and this post is what i mean by that, NOT how to make everyone like you bcuz that's literally impossible and something you shouldn't waste ur time and energy on. as harsh as i may have been in this post ur amazing and i love u no matter how much improvement you have to do ♡ i love you and am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too!
all my love... 💬🎀🫶🏻💗
#ive been working on this for aaaaages now and i love love love it#i hope u like it i tried to sound as non mean as possible#this is js something i thought about in maths one time and decided to turn into a post 💗#anyway i hope u like it#im so hungry mmmffff#im going to eat my idnner#it girlism ୨𖹭୧#girlblogging#it girl#wonyoungism#pink pilates princess#girlhood#girly tumblr#this is what makes us girls#girly stuff#girlcore#girlworld#it girl energy#pink lifestyle#glow up#that girl#becoming that girl#social issues#social skills#mental health#mental health support#girl things#hyperfemininity#hyper feminine#divine feminine
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WAKFU REDESIGN AND REWRITE SERIES PART 2
Yugo
Okay I really should've started with Yugo but I just had so many ideas for Eva I had to let it out. (link to part 1 here)
And with Yugo, I have the exact opposite feelings, because... he's fine. He's the main character, he's a kid, he acts like a kid, he's very thoughtful and kind... I don't have any issues with his character.
But! Theres still ideas i have!
For example, I never quite liked the idea of Yugo being the Eliatrope king and yeah, I know hes a child but he never really... gave me leader vibes, yk? Tbh compared to Adamaï he severely lacks the assertive personality. After finding out that hes the last airbender Eliatrope, he doesnt even care for the culture much. Or like- at all? Hes mostly excited about his superpowers- AND THATS FINE, hes a literal child, but still... a supposed king.
So either make him more invested in his people (you could make a whole arc outta that! He gets hyperfixated on figuring his heritage out he forgets about the here and now - tho that really does sound more like Adamaï) OR make him state outloud that he already has a life and doesnt want to start another one! He likes his friends and adventures and doesnt need anything else... until he does. Make him grow and find parts of himself he didnt even know were missing. New values, a culture he can be a part of!
(Also AU where Yugo actually cant use his powers properly so they only inconvenience him (like accidentally teleporting his stuff) and he tries to stay away from his heritage as long as possible until Grougal is just forced to drag him out the house is so entertaining 2 me istg)
So im fine with the story Qilby has spun, where he and Shinonome are the leaders cause HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE?? And anyway, the Adventure duo finding out about Qilbys betrayal through random goofy shenanigans seems pretty in character lmao
Design
I like Yugos design (except for the shoes, they absolutely haunt me) so I mostly just put my own spin on it rather than changing it radically. I briefly debated on giving him a tail or more dragon-like features but then I realized he lived a normal life before all this lol the village would PROLLY NOTICE
Tho it finally hit me that Eliatropes cleatly have deer features- like the little fur thingy at the end of the Eliatrope cap resembling a deer tail??? How did I not notice that??? But I think his s4 outfit resembles a bat way more so idk?
I gave him white freckles like the bambi spots and light blue "wakfu" spots on the back instead of the runes on his chest he has in the Qilby final boss fight. Also I couldnt decide which outfit I like more for s1-2 so which one do u guys like more?
I havent watched season 3-4 but I did a potential s3 Yugo look as well, I had fun :))
Yugo art dump
#wakfu#wakfu redesign#wakfu rewrite#wakfu fanart#yugo the eliatrope#yugo wakfu#long post#pinpainting#yap pin
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totk is like a highly polished alpha build of a game to me
graphic- fantastic, i just love botws style of graphics, its the perfect blend of something more realistic but very stylized and timeless
visual design- great, i cant stand anything sonau (zonai), and ganondorfs concept art is better than final (and still involves lots of annyoing stereotypes) but overall still pretty solid
sound design- phenomenal, it really is, the underground, the rain on the parasail? unmatched, already loved botw but they really outdid themselves here
music- possibly best in the series to me, like ... theres so many fantastic tracks, in isolation i love so many of them so much ... which sucks bc being connected to such a lackluster rest sours them badly
mechanics- working but undercooked/unfit for the world, its impressive they got ultrahand working at all, but its still clunky/quickly frustrating and badly balanced also contributes to utterly destroying botws world design- this ability was simply not made for this world and is in the end both detrimental to it and itself, bc that mechanic could have truly shined in a game REALLY build around it (... if they could manage to balance it well and stop handing you the solution, it would be funyn if it werent so sad how many times the game literally doesnt even make you engage with its main gimmick bc it just hands you the prebuild thing) time reversal breaks every puzzle/challenge, also unbalanced, ceiling jump is the most harmless but i still think it lets you skip too much
writing- worst in the series, where would i even start with that, not a single character is written well/interestingly, most detrimentally the main characters, .. like all of them, zelda, ganondorf, rauru... and the "story", its barely even bare bones, its plain cardboard with an old divine right propaganda slogan written on, continuity in a direct sequel is non existant, there is no follow up on anything, why did they call it that when they dont seem to have any love for anything botw did given how much they trample over everything it established, i struggle to believe they actually thought this was good, theres has to have been trouble during development
world design/changes- a joke, ... i dont know how people dont feel scammed by how little was actually changed, no, a few rocks sprinkled througout are not meaningful changes, i was one of the people not worried about them reusing the world bc i loved this world and was sure theyd meaningfully change it- god how wrong i was; the sky and underground are both like the bare bones with textures and placeholder rewards/points of interest, they both do not matter at all and their potential is yet again utterly, painfully, wasted and only add more points of destruction to the map in case of the sky, and both add confusion about everything, not the good kind of intriguing confusion, the bad nothing makes sense confusion it really does seem like they put some quick changes into every main point of interest where most players would go to make them think they changed things when .. they only changed these parts, barely, either bc they knew everyone would skip around the world anyway so it wouldnt be worth it, or bc its ... unfinished
game design/structure- baffling (bad), connected to the point above, but it truly is beyond me why they repeated the exact same structure as botw while removing what made that work, why would you repeat every point of interest of the previous game, i know zelda games always have their regions and thats where stuff happens, but they REUSED THE SAME WORLD, you CANNOT repeat the exact same points in the same world, you just cant, its the same places, the same characters, the same structure (aka dungeons being less interesting/easier titans (divine beasts) with a paint job in structure), you basically erase the well integrated ancient tech civilization to replace it with another, not well integrated, more boring and overly pushed into your face, ancient tech civilization and make them the answer to everything that ever was (BORING), the same story structure (but worse, like the memory system but remove what made it work in botw)- AND THEN repeat the same points in the underground too? thats bonkers, literally baby bananas
dungeons/puzzles - worse than botw by FAR, as mentioned above, dungeons are less interesting titans with a paintjob (plus an extraordinarily awful cutscene, which is repeated like FIVE TIMES almost word for word), they serve no purpose but to act like they are totally real traditional dungeons when they are not, they are laughing at you, shrines are back with a paintjob with less interesting puzzles (if they even have one given how many just give you a spirit orb knock off) that can all be skipped, though the puzzles can often not even be called that (put log over gap WOOOAH puzzle) among many awful and unecessary tutorial ones (its not bad to have easy ones, but aside from the few ones that take all your stuff away -omg restrictions in MY freedom tm game??- which are the best ones, to have none be even a little challenging or not utterly skippable without even using glitches, its like they didnt even try to stop you from cheating, which is like being given a skip button with no strigns attached, doesnt even let you feel smart bc you dont have to try to cheat)
UI/controls- awful, you cant tell me this was tested by real people playing for longer than 10 minutes at once, how did the ghosty sage control scheme and arrow/weapon fusing get through this, HOW, its unbelievably tedious and detrimental to any fun (as im doing with my rewrite, a crafting system would have been so good here ..... like a proper simple crafting system, have the materials, craft your new arrow types in stacks etc) the ghost sages are not only utterly useless in combat, but clog your screen, play distracting animations as soon as you look at a slope, you constantly accidentally activate them or the wrong one bc its mapped to the main interact button!!! if you use them say goodbye to your framerate, fights are now spent chasing after some ghost guy whos actively running away from you, they do not invoke a feeling of 'connection' to my 'friends', they are invoking feelings of hatred and frustration
performance- ... passable (if you dont have the sages out .... well, it runs better than pokemon scarlet so i guess its fine, the lag when closing and opening the menu is rly annoying, especially combined with the finger and patience breaking menues and how often you need to open a game pasuing menue, but fights with a monster horde AND the sages out? yeah no its as bad as pokemon scarlet at its worst, not to mention the chaos of having five useless ghost scramble around you getting knocked around by enemies)
price- a scam, this game is not worth 70 bucks, its just not, if you get a used copy and dont spend more time in it than it takes for you to just go straight to the main points, or if you dont care about anything else but dicking around with a clunky building system ... then you can have some fun with it yeah ..... still not worth 70 money, theres probably better building games out there for less too
it jsut feels not done, not finished, its presentation and some parts are highly polished and their marketing for it is unlike anything i have ever seen, but its so .... unfinished, no amount of epic visuals is gonna let me not think of this game being half done at best, after what, 6 years of development no less? with most assets already being there and being reused unaltered??
(i am holding tightly onto the theory of it either having an extremely troubled development that is being hidden bc of their reputation, or some sort of neglect in order to focus on other more lucrative projects, this is just all too weird to me)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#i wanted to make a short list#but look i cant ever make anything short huh#sorry ok#im trying to not do as many long text posts anymore#.... this might be my last totk complaint post in a long while#i feel like i said it all by now
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What if there was a Au where Silho was a Science experiment
Was inspird by @head---ache drawing of Emmie found the idea cool
Here's a rough idea of possable story in this Au\/\/\/
Ok heres the story it will remain the same as my YouthLegacy Au but with a twist at around 3 years old Silhouette would be kidnap by Egg mans robots when she and her brother where in the playground on their own since it was in walking distance to their home.
The reason they went for Silhouette was the fact she looked more like her father and showed early signs of having his ability's as well as Amys strength
In the YL AU She would be rescued by her father and mother… BUT In this AU they failed to rescue her in time and Egg man would disappear for 8 years.
During that time her family and friends spent years trying to find her to no avail
Many wondered if its possible that she is dead Shadow and Maroon knew that wasn't true they could sense her still, they just weren't sure where
Maroon would feel immense guilt for not being strong enough to protect his own sister and freezing up that day
So what happened to Silho during those 8 years?????
She would be experimented on. Once Egg man realized she was more flawed then expected seeing that she cant go long without food or water, she needs sleep, plus she can get sick meaning she is likely mortal.
So instead of-trying to steal Maroon thinking its probably not worth the risk, he decides to change Silhouettes DNA to fit more into his vision of the ultimate life form.
It would eventually be a success using some Black arms DNA he came across a while ago and all the painful tests she had to endure over the years has made her vengeful and angry towards her family specifically her brother.
These test slowly and painfully turned Silho little more alien like with gaining a third eye and growing a tail and her blood becoming green.
During this phase where she was slowly becoming more alien like she would constantly grow very ill and weak seeing that her body could not yet accepted this new DNA her body was basically rejecting itself so Egg man needed to work quickly if she was to survive more test. She would eventually become stable and showed signs of her new self being different like now she doesn't need to eat or drink much water, or sleep and she can no longer get sick.
But she felt resentment towards her brother and her family .
For in her eyes they never even bothered to look for her and probably forgotten all about her. While her brother got to live a normal life she had to endure many test by force . Egg man feed into these feelings she has and told her lies to make her despise them even more.
After every test he would tell a lil lie about how her family doing great with out her and having the time of their lives telling her they don't need her or care about her.
But he dose he says that he saw potential in her and that if they really cared they would have gone to save her ages ago
Her strength was never an issue though she was quite powerful but egg man realizes she doesn't have control of this straights, so in turn but multiple inhibitor rings specifically made to limit her strength as well as her chaos energy since now with the new DNA in her body it amplified her chaos energy.
On her 11 birthday she would finally be allowed to leave on stealth missions for him.
These stealth missions later lead to rumors going around of a strange little girl causing trouble.
She never ran way and remans loyal to Egg man for in her eyes though he did terrible things to her she truly believes he's the only one who cares about her. Plus she knows theres no going back to her old life and her old-self.
#Project Silhouette R#digital illustration#digital art#artists on tumblr#digital drawing#drawing#small artist#Silhouette Rose#artwork#art#fanart#GGhosteArt#shadamy#amy rose#shadow the hedgehog#sonic fan character#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sonic fankid#sonic fanchild#fankid#oc art#shadamy fankid#i know i posted the rough idea in writing a while ago but i couldn't help but make an idea of what she could look like#gghosteoc
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What about beckory is so appealing to you? /gen
outside of them themselves and my own personal preference, them being a mlm ship and also not canon and completely hypothetical are huge factors to me. it's so interesting building them up in all of these different interpretations since theres not much canon to go off by, but the canon we DO have is really good
and now speaking of the ship itself the last point I made applies because ggy the book is just. really good. when you read it for the first time it's fine but then you reread it and notice things and look deeper and you find all of these things making the friend group you thought was average way more deep and you see everyones flaws, and that makes them interesting. the book revolves around tony and ggy so we get the most about them, and what it shows us about them makes me claw at the walls
it showed us how tony is obsessive when it comes to mysteries because of his dad being put in prison and how he cant handle not getting to the bottom of a mystery because of it, and that obsession has driven a wall between everyone and him. then he meets the most mysterious guy in the universe Rab and he becomes obsessed with ggy to an unhealthy degree while also slowly starting to prefer greg over his best friend since he was 4 (which like how am I not supposed to like the ship when tony inadvertently became obsessed with Gregory throughout the whole book that's so funny😭)
they're both flawed people and even outside of ggy Tony's relationship with Gregory is almost purely hypothetical since they never actually met. but making aus or story ideas where tony survives after the end of ggy has so many possibilities for his and Gregory's relationship
theres a whole new world if you think tony dies and Gregory mourns later on when he gets freed, theres whole new worlds if tony goes on a quest to save Gregory or if Gregory fights back against ggy to save Tony's life or whatever could happen. everything u could think of has potential and it could all be unique and different and could hit off their relationship in tons of different ways
and their relationship has so many directions it could go becuase of their respective characters. in my personal interpretation of them, Tony's obsession doesnt go away after he survives the ggy attack and he tries to track down greg after he goes missing after the attack, and when he finds him it's a year later and greg isnt actually greg at all but Gregory. to me the idea of tony having an idea of Gregory in his head that was never him and that he has to unlearn would cause drama between them but it makes their bond stronger. tony has to get worse before he can get better to me, and that playing out with Gregory as they get older is so good to me
and amneisiac gregory is one of my fave things so the idea that Gregory slowly remembered tony over the course of living with 3 star fam and had an idea of him too, and when he shows up on his doorstep hes excited to meet him and the fact that tony is from Gregory's past thats a whole mystery to him he means a lot to him immediately
I guess tldr they're so interesting to me because they have all the potential in the world and a thousand different things you could do with them, but also their characters themselves are already just so interesting and fleshed out that it's fun to see how they could get to a relationship from their starting points and how flawed they are. they're not immediately compatible and they have so much about themselves and their personal stuff to work through at the time they meet but they go through growth together and it makes them rlly close. they make eachother better people as they get older :)
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To celebrate pride month I’m gonna get myself cancelled by saying my sexuality headcanons for DC characters! Most of which I know pretty much nothing about! Please don’t kill me :D
This is a long post and NONE of this is canon. I have very little knowledge on any of these guys these headcanons are based purely on vibes and it’s all for fun so take it with a jar full of salt.
Bruce/Batman:
He would be bi. I have no doubt about it. His Brucie persona would be very open about it, flirting with potential sponsors at galas no matter the gender to convince them to donate more to his charity as well as flirting with the reporters just to spread the rumors that he's a playboy. As Batman he’d be much more quiet about it. He never talks about himself so no one knows anything about him. No one ever realizes he is bi until he reveals his identity and as one of the most prominent openly bisexual celebrities in the world, they realize right away.
He was born a man and understands and supports transgender people but he never thought too hard about it for himself and is very confident in his gender being male. He is comfortable with being feminine at times without it reflecting his gender and sometimes dresses in drag for photoshoots and paparazzi.
Diana/Wonder Woman :
She lived in a society of exclusively women where lesbian was the default. You either liked women, or you liked no one at all. She was the latter for many years until she met Steve and then she felt something strange for the first time. It took her a long time to realize it was love and that she was only attracted to men which is why she never felt anything for the women in her previous home.
When she hears about transgender people she’s a little bit offended by people ‘deciding’ not to be a woman at first but that’s because she misunderstood the concept. After a bit of explaining she not only accepts it, but becomes a huge ally and will defend their rights fiercely. She has never considered she would be anything but female and is incredibly confident in her own gender.
Clark/Superman:
He’d be just a tiny bit bi but he doesn’t know since he never put much thought into it and much prefers women anyway. He gets a bit uncomfortable when people talk about lgbtq+ things since he doesn’t understand it but he supports it anyway and will fly over pride parades with various flags given to him by Bruce.
He knows transgender people exist but doesn’t understand that being trans is an possibility for him specifically. It just never crossed his mind. When asked his pronouns he says “I’m a man :)” and he’s so kind about it and clearly trying so most people just smile and nod and don’t bother explaining that that isn’t an answer.
Barry Allen/Flash:
He definitely experimented in college and wasn’t exactly opposed, but romantically he is only into women and after marrying Iris he had no reason to keep trying new things. He loves his wife and that’s all that matters. When Wally comes out to him as gay he’s very supportive but doesn’t understand much and promptly researches every single lgbtq+ label in existence.
He doesn’t fully understand transgender stuff but he’s trying really hard. Right now he’s too busy memorizing the names and flags of every sexuality. Check back in a few weeks when he realizes theres more to it than that and actually pays attention to things like transgender rights and homophobia. He will be a changed man and a fierce ally, trying hard to shed light on these issues and change the laws to be more inclusive.
Martian manhunter:
Gender and sexuality are human concepts. Biological sex is irrelevant to a shapeshifter so why would he let it limit him? He doesn’t understand why it matters so much to humans but he tries to understand. He knows a lot more about the lgbtq+ community than most people and fights for their rights but still doesn’t care much about his own labels.
He accepts whatever pronouns other use for him. He literally could not care less.
(I just wrote so much stuff and it all got deleted. Pain.)
Hal Jordan/ Green Lantern:
After travelling through space for so long you start to realize that human gender norms are kinda stupid. When you meet enough sexless space blobs who’s pronouns are based on developmental stages or races with thirty seven sexes and only one set of pronouns for all of them, you start to question if “male” is really the only optjon for you. He doesn’t know his gender quite yet but he’s pretty confident he’s not exactly a man. He doesn’t talk about it much except with people he’s very close to. He has noticed that he has a heavy preference towards 'women' no matter the species, as long as they're sentient.
Billy Batson/ Captain Marvel/ Shazam:
I think he’d be biromantic asexual trans man because hes my favourite boy and I say so. Again, do not kill me. He’s canonically dated and had crushes on girls but I feel like the whole ‘sometimes looks like an adult’ thing would really complicate things and he would try to push away any romantic feelings to not let it distract him from his work or cause any problems. It would probably take him a good few years to realize that he also likes guys and even longer to realize he never really felt anything further than romantic about anyone.
He knew he was trans since he knew what gender was. He has never identified as a girl and as soon as he could talk he told his parents he was a boy they were like “alrighty then!” And treated him accordingly. Hair cuts, pronouns, clothing and such. He didn’t even realize it was seen as ‘abnormal’ until his parents died. his uncle refused to call him by the correct pronouns and all his foster homes after that were similarly transphobic. He never faltered though and when he started living on the streets, he threw away all the dresses and bows his previous fosters got him and never looked back.
Batkids lightning round:
Richard Grayson/Nightwing:
Very openly gay while in costume. Still open out of costume but is just the teeniest bit quieter about it (aka when he’s out of costume he can’t yell at villains about being homophobic for hitting a gay man every time he takes a punch)
He’s a man (either trans or cis, i havent decided yet lol) but he isn’t afraid to wear a dress and makeup every once in a while and is very comfortable with his femininity and masculinity.
Jason Todd:
Who cares? He sure doesn’t. He’s dated women and doesn’t think it’s necessary to explore any further.
He’s never explored his gender and is a bit toxicly masculine but he can, will, and has killed people for being transphobic or making a transgender person feel even slightly uncomfortable. Huge ally though he doesn’t talk much about lgbtq+ rights, it’s just so obvious to him that he doesn’t think it needs to be talked about. A fan group online keeps a tally of how many homophobes and transphobes he's sent to the hospital and the number is unbelievably high.
Tim drake:
Unlabelled. He doesn’t have time to think about any of that but he knows he’s probably not straight, especially considering he has dated men, women, and nonbinary folk. It doesn’t really matter much to him.
Same thing for gender, who has the time? He identifies as male because looking too deep when he feels just fine as a guy would be a waste of time to him. If he had a transgender friend suggest it though, he would look a bit deeper and find that he’s either cis or gender apathetic. At that point he'd get bored and stop again lol.
Damian Wayne:
He has other things to worry about. Like eliminating all crime, for example. And polishing his swords. He'll deal with the whole 'romance' thing when he is the appropriate marriage age and will select if he wants to date a girl or a boy then. (He has not yet realized that isn't how it works. He'll realize hes aroace eventually but for now teaching Alfred the cat how to steal from Tim is much more important)
Other misc hero’s:
Zatanna: bi with a preference for women.
John Constantine: (edited this one because it was misunderstood) Bi but that’s none of your business. Won’t go out of his way to hide it but isn’t gonna tell you about it either unless it’s actually relevant.
Kon-el/Conner Kent/ Superboy: Gay. Maybe one day he’ll try dating a woman or something just to see if he’s interested but for now he knows he likes men so he’s sticking to that. They use He/they pronouns.
Wally west/ kid flash: Gay. Thought he was bi for a bit but realized he was just trying to hold on to a tiny bit of normalcy and accepted he would never be ‘normal’. He’s very happy with his boyfriend now! Experimented with different pronouns for a few months but ended up being a cis man. The experience really helped him understand the community better and hes glad he tried it out even in it didnt result in a big self discovery or anything.
And thats it! If you have a different headcanon please tell me in the comments/reblogs/tags/whatever!! I’m super interested to hear them.
#happy pride 🌈#pride month#dc#justice league#dcu#headcanon#headcanons#batman#bruce wayne#superman#clark kent#pride#diana prince#wonder woman#flash#the flash#barry allen#wally west#kid flash#superboy#Conner Kent#Kon el#zatanna#john constantine#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#batkids#batfam#batfamily
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is it bad to be scared to start hrt?
i feel a little ashamed that i am. i try my hardest to be positive about all the things that make men & mascs masculine. i try to appreciate the parts that arent valued by society, like male pattern baldness, being fat, hairiness (love that part especially lol), etc.
but im 15, and i go back and fourth over whether or not i want to start testosterone. i had terrible cystic acne before i started acne medication, i have male pattern baldness on my dads side etc. im not a binary trans guy, so i kinda doubt ill be on it forever anyway if i DO wind up doing it, but its really scary to be told all the stuff that WILL make me a man when im… just a boy. that feels infantalizing but i suppose its true. im scared to be a man admittedly, im angry i never got to have a “true” boyhood because in currently at that age, and im scared of being thrust into it after not getting to be one. theres so much stuff about becoming “ugly” after starting testosterone. i know thats not true, logically, but ive faced so much bullying for not being pretty enough as an afab that i guess i still have that vanity embedded within me.
i feel ashamed for it, do you have any advice?
no, absolutely not- i think it's super reasonable to be scared to start HRT. it's a huge change, it affects your body and mentality in many different ways. it's a lot to take on at once especially considering there are permanent effects if taken for long enough at a high enough dose
i get why you'd be worried at that age. i didn't start HRT until i was in my early 20s. i think its okay to give yourself some time, especially considering you have some concerns about it potentially affecting your health. it would be ideal to find a way to get your blood tested for a few things- liver enzymes, red blood cell count, estrogen and testosterone levels, and so on. if you can't do that, it's understandable. i know it's not easy for someone your age to get a ride to a place like that discretely
is it possible to contact your dermatologist about your acne and see if they would be able to weigh in on that? baldness is a tricky thing. some people do bald but really late in life. some people don't. a lot of transmascs have their hairline recede by a few inches and then it usually stops. the nice thing about hair loss is there are medications that work very well that can help mitigate that. gender affirming care specialists or other doctors who prescribe testosterone are usually aware of the effects on scalp hair, and usually they'll help you test for high blood pressure, any issues like that
honestly i get where you're coming from here. i've seen this way too many times. people get pissed off about someone being a type of trans they don't like so they just bully the person until they consider detransitioning or never start transition at all, and then continue to mock and harass them anyway. i see this all the damn time and it bugs me like why would you do that to someone. who cares
people think it's ok to bully trans men & mascs right now because of all of the transandrophobia and antimasculism in general. testosterone doesn't make anyone "ugly", people are projecting their hatred of men and mascs on to a hormone that almost everyone produces naturally. it's just hateful senseless bullying. people think the younger the trans man/boy/masc is, the more valid they are to bully them.
it's okay to identify as a boy for as long as you need. you actually never have any obligation to adopt the label man if it doesn't fit you. many people identify as boys instead of men. some people are guys and not men. it's okay some people find they have to take their time to transition from boy to man. you're only 15 you are still a child, you don't have to worry about being a man for quite a while
it's definitely okay to feel conflicted and confused here. if you're able to, take time to yourself where you shut all that noise from other people out. if you're able to just ask yourself a few questions like why do i identify as a boy, what about it makes me happy, what kinds of things do i want to do in transition. just try to get a feel for what's going on so it makes it hard for people to get in your head
remember that when people attack you like this they're projecting something they deeply hate about themselves on to you. my therapist told me that last week and i thought i would just relay that. it's alright to be affected by it, but they really are just being assholes. it's good to be a trans man/boy/masc. transmasculinity is good. testosterone is good. testosterone saved my life. i'm glad to get up in the morning every day because i at least look and sound like myself. i love my body. i love the way i look. i'm stronger. i stand taller. my face is the right shape. my voice sounds right.
life is good
i hope you found any of this helpful. good luck, it's okay to feel guilt or shame for a bit. i did NOT want to come out as FtM for a VERY long time it was hard. i get it. take care of yourself, let me know if you have any more questions
#asks#answers#testosterone#transmasc#transmasculine#ftm#trans man#trans men#trans boy#hrt#questioning#hormones#hormone replacement therapy
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TSATS is hilarious to me. They give Will a whole book to help us really get to know him as a character and a chance for him to be a more developed character. And instead we get a whole book of him being useless and dragging Nico down and forcing Nico to carry his pathetic arse for the whole book. Instead of making him a more developed character it just made me dislike him even more for being such a waste of space for an entire book.
Saaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmme dude. You just summarized what tsats was at its core. It’s such a shame that the idea of the sun and the star and Will Solace had so much potential it could have been amazing if it was done right. Will could have been amazing. He was amazing before Mark and Rick fumbled him And instead we got this dumpster fire. Such a shame.
And a point that I haven’t seen talked about enough is Nico being pressured to come out to the whole camp felt so wrong
the whole scene of how the dryads kinda outed Nico to the whole camp or at least pressured him to come out randomly with no warning at all. That really did not sit right with me at all. it almost felt like Nico was being outed again or very much pressured to come out because of the crowd expected an announcement from him. Like I get that the dryads made a social blunder and misinterpreted what Nico asked of them. It’s possible Nico might not have been all that clear. But like. Nico coming out to a full crowd like that especially so soon after BoO. D I D. N O T. S I T. R I G H T. W I T H. M E. It would have better if that whole thing was not written. Or at least if Nico had bailed out it of that situation and just grew the balls to privately ask Will out himself.
Because Nico’s always been very short and to the point with things. The type of guy to do his own work for himself. He once said something like “he didn’t like working with other people because they were always cramping his style” in BoO. Sure he could be trying to branch out and make friends. But I don’t think he’d trust a bunch of random dryads he barely knows with this kind of thing. If he was gonna ask anybody else to help him set up something as serious and a first date with Will it would be his trusted friends. Hazel Jason Reyna Hedge.
Also the whole thing about Nico being pressured to come out somehow helped other queer kids in the camp. Like first of all that’s not Nico’s responsibility especially not when he was still dealing with internalized stuff for himself. And second of all. It’s a Greek camp. With a whole bunch of kids there and that whole scene took place during summer time when they are the most packed. 100-200 campers. In New York. Theres gotta be at least a couple other out queer kids in that camp. (Probably more than a couple tbh).
The whole scene pressuring Nico to come out to and ask Will out didn’t make sense and felt so wrong and weird. Amongst a bunch of other things too. But this is the one that was on my mind at the moment. There are many other things about tsats that felt so wrong and I may be too sleep deprived to rant about them now
#tsats critique#tsats crit#tsats#anti tsats#the sun and the star#the sun and the star critique#the sun and the star crit#anti the sun and the star#Nico di Angelo#Will Solace#anti Will Solace#Percy Jackson and the Olympians#PJO#Heroes of Olympus#HoO#ToA#Trials of Apollo#anti Solangelo
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