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Can't wait until I'm normal again 🙃🙃🙃🙃

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I'm fine, I just have a gaping black hole in my chest that cannot be filled. But other than that,

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Hey so um do you want to have a really fucked up dynamic with me or not

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saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

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Some Nott and Caleb doodles

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◆ CALEB WIDOGAST ◆

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When I was 3 years old I went to a preschool that had this little green crocheted crocodile finger puppet that was my absolute favorite toy to play with of all time. I named her Chelsea, because Chelsea starts with C and crocodile starts with C and more often than not wild animals in fiction aimed at kids have names that start with the same first letter as their species. I played with Chelsea every day, because she was my favorite toy, and because the other kids weren't really interested in her, and also because I eventually started to hide her in a special secret spot in the room so no one else would find her before I did. She was so beloved by me that when I graduated from preschool, my teachers gave Chelsea to me permanently, because it was clear no one else would ever love that little crochet crocodile as much as me anyway (in part because I hid her). They waited a few weeks after I graduated before doing it, too, and sent Chelsea with some post cards as if the crocodile had been on a whirlwind "travel the world" vacation before deciding to come live with me.

And Chelsea remained my favorite toy all through my childhood. There were others I loved nearly as much, like my Imperial Godzilla and the big red T.rex from the first Jurassic Park toy line and my tiny knockoff plush Charmander, but Chelsea always held the place of honor in my heart. She was my absolute favorite toy.

I kept a lot of my favorite toys through adolescence, even if social pressure eventually got me to give away a lot of them (and some, y'know, broke). That's obviously not surprising to you if you've followed my blog, since I still collect toys into my adulthood. But it's important to note because while I know I made a conscious effort to never throw out Chelsea every time I pared down my collection... at some point, she went missing.

I became aware of it when I graduated from high school. I was feeling really emotional about leaving that stage of my life and, y'know, becoming an adult and shit, and in that state I decided to find Chelsea to reassure myself that I hadn't entirely left childhood behind. But Chelsea wasn't there. No matter how hard I looked, I could not find Chelsea anyway.

And that was, like, devastating, because the only explanation was that somehow, at some point, I had accidentally tossed her out with some other "childhood junk" while trying to grow up and be responsible in my teen years. I had literally thrown away my childhood in a careless attempt to be more grown up.

Of course I knew she was just a toy - nothing more than some yarn twisted together in the loose shape of a crocodile, lifeless and soul-less and more or less worthless in the objective light of day. But she was also Chelsea, my best friend since i was three, my stalwart little pal, a source of comfort for most of my life at that point, and I had just... tossed her out! Like garbage! What kind of person was I becoming if I could do that to my best friend?

I was very visibly distraught, and my mom noticed. Being very crafty, she tried to find the pattern for Chelsea so she could knit me a new one. The problem is, she had no idea where to find said pattern. She checked all her books of crochet patterns, and when that failed she tried the internet, but no matter how hard she looked, she found nothing.

So my mom found the next best thing.

The original Chelsea was a tiny finger puppet, and I had "met" her when I was three. Well, I was eighteen now - shouldn't Chelsea have grown too? And as has been established, this crocodile was fond of whirlwind vacations. My mom found a pattern that looked as much like Chelsea as possible while also being a much bigger crocodile, and gifted her to me before I left for college - to show that while we can't stop the flow of time or how it changes us, that doesn't mean we have to leave it behind.

And yeah, I decided to believe it. That's Chelsea now. Yeah, I know that in reality it's a completely different set of yarn made by my mom rather than... whoever it was that crocheted the original Chelsea, but then, Chelsea was never really the yarn. She was the feelings I put into the yarn, you know? So that's Chelsea, all grown up, and still my most prized toy.

...

Flash forward... Jesus, eighteen years, holy shit. A few weeks ago I saw a post trying to identify a different crochet crocodile pattern, and thinking it was cute, I decided to try and look for it on ebay and etsy, just to see if maybe I could find it. I didn't, but do you know what I found instead?

A very familiar crochet crocodile finger puppet. An intensely familiar one, you might say. Of course I bought it. And of course I asked the seller if, perhaps, they might have the pattern for it or know where it came from (they did not, alas). And after a few days, she showed up at my house.

She's not Chelsea, obviously. For one thing, she's far too clean and fresh looking - Chelsea was very well loved, and looked the part, while this crocodile finger puppet has definitely not endured years upon years of a child's affection. And, more importantly, she's not Chelsea because we've already established that Chelsea grew up into a bigger crochet crocodile. This has to be Chelsea's younger sister, Cici.

And if I could find another of Chelsea's kind after all these years, then maybe, with a bit of luck, I might find the pattern for her, and be able to make more of them. Fill the world with Chelseas.

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the real challenge of adulthood that no one tells you about in advance is how many goddamn pieces of paper you have to keep up with that are never important until they are suddenly VERY important

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The first time I saw the official fan art of Veth, I broke out sobbing. As a curvy, short, and half-Mexican/half-Native woc, this was the first time I saw someone in a piece of media that looked like me?? I knew immediately that I had to cosplay her and even though I’d never made a costume by myself (I usually had my grandma to help me), I’ve never used a sewing machine, or ever made jewelry - I did this!! I made this cosplay by myself in a little more than 30 days, working on it little by little every day after work. It’s not perfect and there are many things I’d like to correct, but when I finally made it to Phoenix Fan Fusion I got so many compliments from other Critical Role and M9 fans!! This fandom is just SO supportive and I’m so happy I got out of my comfort zone to do a little photoshoot like this. Also shout-out to my friends @hobo-trash-dragon and @sneaky-taffer who helped shoot this on our phones!!

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Happy Ace day of visibility to all the Critical Role characters on the ace spectrum. You have no idea how much you mean to me 💜🤍🩶🖤

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i expected nothing less than this energy from his contribution to the smartypants society

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"I know we have things to do, and I want to do them. But the reason I want to find these people and rescue them is not to use them, and it's not because we've invested time in them, but it's because I love them. We need to find them and rescue them because we're a team now. So if you're just using them or whatever, that's fine and I'll support you; but I want to find them so that we don't go back to the way it was, when we were hiding in the shadows and ducking into alleys to get away from people. We were safe, but we weren't really alive, right?"

-Critical Role Campaign 2, Episode 27, "Converging Fury"

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Sam Riegel as Veth Brenatto for Wildemount Wildlings.

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immersive pikachu (animated ver)

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happy 9 year anniversary to the most iconic scene in tv history

march 29th, 2016