#Source: 50% off

[cinnamonzor]

Astarion: We need to come up with a good prank. Like, a really good prank.

Astarion: Like the time I put horse tranquilizers in Gale's waterskin!

Gale: Yeah, or like the time you-

Gale: Wait, what?? When was that?

Astarion: Ehhhhh, thirty minutes ago?

Gale: Astarion, I think I'd notice if yooOhH-hO-hO-hO... i GoTtA gO lAy DoWn...

Astarion: It's okay, darling. Take five.

Karlach: Is he gonna wake up?

Astarion: Eh. We'll find out.

[sleeplessdreamer14]

y/n: (looking at iida from across the room) look at him with his stupid glasses and his dumb undercut.

iida:

y/n: I have to have him.

[the-great-gullon-incident]

Fintan: Ha. Sophie? Dead? Let me tell you something. That girl is literally impossible to kill.

Fintan: To prove a theory, I one time tried to just straight up shoot her.

Fintan: The bullet missed, ricocheted off a frying pan on the wall and broke open a cabinet full of bottles which I then tripped on and fell over. It hurt my pride more than anything.

[alien-slushie]

Rosie, holding out a pink dress: Here Husker, take this to your boyfriend.

Husk: He's not my boyfriend.

Rosie: You're not fooling anyone dear.

[tf2incorrectquotes]

Heavy: *to himself* Look at him in his stupid glasses and dumb outfit... I GOT TO HAVE HIM.

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: What's up, sluts? Guess who just got out of prison. Dick: Sluts? Bruce: Prison?

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Y/N: I was born a winner. I didn’t even need nine months to be born. I came out in seven.

Bruce: That’s… That’s not good.

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2591

Got 'em. (Dialogue from 50% Off.)

[incorrectly-quoting-mxtx]

Wei Wuxian: WHAT UP SLUTS?! GUESS WHO JUST GOT OUT OF THE BURIAL MOUNDS!!!

Jiang Cheng, concerned: Sluts?

Lan Wangji, even more concerned: The Burial Mounds?!

[starlightshadowsworld]

Kunikida: So anyway, I regain consciousness. There's Port Mafia members everywhere. Katai's covered in blood and Ranpo's holding an ice pick.

Katai: You'd think Port Mafia security would be more, high tech.

Ranpo: snorts You'd think wouldn't you?

Kunikida: So I pull out a gun and shoot our way out while Yosano does 80 in a 35 and gets us right through the blockade.

Yosano: And that, is teamwork high-fives him

Atsushi: That was one of your first missions together?!

Ranpo: Well, yeah. What did you expect, saving kittens up trees?

Atsushi:... I want to say yes but when you put it like that no... No this makes sense.

Dazai: So that's why Mori had that meeting about an ice pick bandit.

[stardust948]

Azula: I was born a winner. I didn’t even need nine months to be born! I came out in seven!

Sokka: That’s ... that’s not good.

[incorrect-tbhk]

Mitsuba: What’s up sluts? Guess who just came back to life!

Yashiro: Sluts?

Kou: Dead?

Yashiro and Kou in unison: MITSUBA

[incorrectly-quoting-murderdrones]

Uzi: And then you just take out your trusty lockpick...

*gunshot*

Uzi: And you’re in!

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

VRISKA: Kanaya, did you schedule my doctor’s appointment????????

KANAYA: Yes I Did But Vriska Why Exactly Do You Wish To See A Human Pediatrician

VRISKA: 8ecause a regular human doctor won’t give me candy at the end!!!!!!!! Duh!!!!!!!!

KANAYA: I Cannot Keep Doing This For You Vriska! I Am Not Your Mother!

CALLIOPE: well…

DIRK: You do exhibit somewhat motherly behavior, Kanaya.

VRISKA: Yeah! Plus, most of our parents are dead. So you’re like our mom!!!!!!!! Team Mom!!!!!!!! *Chanting* Team Mom!!!!!!!! Team Mom!!!!!!!! Team Mom!!!!!!!!

KANAYA: I Am Not The Team Mom

EVERYONE, chanting: Team Mom! Team Mom! Team Mom!

KANAYA: Rose Why Are You Chanting

ROSE: It’s a catchy chant.

…

TEREZI: T34M-

KANAYA: One More Chant And We Are Not Going Out For Slushies Later

[alien-slushie]

Angel Dust: Hey Smiles, can you say 'Simba~ Remeber who you are~' in your cool echo voice?

Alastor: No.

Angel: $5

Alastor: No.

Angel: $10

Alastor: No.

Angel: I will stop making s*x jokes. ... For a week.

Alastor, sighs: Simba~, remember who you are~

[tf2incorrectquotes]

Soldier: I WAS BORN A WINNER! I DIDN’T EVEN NEED NINE MONTHS TO BE BORN! I CAME OUT IN SEVEN!

Medic: That’s... that’s not a good thing.