I know.
(I feel much more than I speak.)
I know you, you know.
(I see you, sometimes, in the shape of my shadow, in the blacks of my eyes, in the darkest corners of my nightmares.)
She is.
(She disappeared one day, but she was fading long before.)
I won’t tell you that I never thought about it.
(The promise used haunt me—a new reality, written to the shape of my dreams.)
Of course I thought about it.
(I still think about it, some days. The dream still makes me ache.)
But everything comes at a price.
(The price is always blood, and that’s why we’re both bleeding.)
In order to bring our mother back,
(She had green eyes, like ours.)
someone else would have to lose theirs.
(I like when people say I look like her. I like being like her, any way I can. Don’t you?)
And that, I couldn’t wish on anyone.
(We are the same weight, you and I. Both heavy with the ache of missing her.)
Me? I manage to go on living,
(The ache will not die and neither will I. We’re a package deal now.)
trying to be happy,
(It’s harder than you think, and also easier. Smiles are born from such simple things—did you know?)
as she wanted me to.
(I think she’d be proud, if she were here. It makes me smile.)
I have my friends to comfort me.
(On grayscale days they are the color. They paint me from the inside out.)
I’m okay now.
(I will be.)
I’m as well as I can be, anyway.
(It will get better. That’s what their colors tell me.)
It must be painful
(I know the hurt.)
for someone who doesn’t have any close friends,
(I used to watch my window like a movie, looking out at the life I wish I had.)
or anyone to comfort them.
(The house was always cold. I’m shivering even now.)
(Someone like you, yes.)
(Someone like me, not long ago.)
Only you can decide not to be alone.
(If you reach out in the dark there will be hands to meet you.)
(I understand. I love you now.)
(Do you?)
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