#It's 7am why am i typing this

[milolovesbmc]

Gruesome Playground Injuries except House is Doug's doctor. That's it. That's the post

[xxsabitoxx]

NSFW Kyojuro Rengoku HeadCanons

Kyojuro x Fem! Reader

Warnings: as the title suggests, this is full of smut

A/N: the last time I did a NSFW HC post focused on one character it was for Sanemi shortly after I made this blog… that’s kinda fucked. Why haven’t I revisited this idea? Idk but thank you for suggesting it @sharkwhore 😩🫶

Also it’s past 3am, my alarm is set to go off at 7am, of course this ain’t proof read lmfao so ignore any errors

Kyojuro is such a gentleman that you’re almost shocked the first time he tries to initiate something more intimate with you.

You’re actually pretty surprised that he seems to know exactly what he’s doing… even though he claimed you were his first partner

He’d later tell you that he went to Tengen for advice. Having three wives naturally meant the man had more than enough time to learn a thing or two

Kyojuro starts off slow with you, wandering hands and lingering kisses. He works you up subtly, until he can tell that you are aching for him to take things further

“Sit on my lap.” Kyojuro smiled at you, tapping his muscular thigh innocently. He’d been toying with you all night, his hand lingering on your waist longer than it needed to. The soft kisses on the back of your neck while you had cooked dinner. His compliments, the way his eyes seemingly devoured you. You were dying for him to move things further. “Someone’s feeling extra romantic tonight… I’m not forgetting a special occasion am I?” You sat down, trying to suppress a shiver as his arms came to wrap around you. He was warm, as always, thigh tensing and relaxing below you as he got used to your weight on him. “No, no special occasion… I just missed you.”

Kyojuro loves foreplay for a multitude of reasons

For one, he loves when you tell him what you want him to do. He loves when you guide him, tell him exactly what you like and dislike. He loves watching your eyes grow hazy when he does something just right

He’s all about you, I mean really he won’t even think of fucking you until you’ve cum at least 2-3 times on his mouth or fingers.

Speaking of mouth… Kyojuro loves when you sit on his face. Well he loves when you sit anywhere on him but sitting on his face is his personal favorite

He encourages you when you’re shy about it, he’ll even use his own hands to push you down a little further, assuring you that you won’t suffocate him

“C’mon… a little lower.” His hands are gripping your thighs as they cage his head. Your face is warm, hands holding your breasts as you tried to lower yourself without fully sitting on him. “You’re holding back…” he commented softly, your cunt just inches from his face. “…’m not…” a lame attempt, especially since you knew he could feel your thighs trembling with the effort. “I’m asking you to sit on my face. I mean that, you know. I want you to fully sit on my face.” It was blunt, maybe that’s why you couldn’t stop the squeal of shock that left your lips. “I’ll suffocate you if I put my full weight on you, Kyo.” He only gripped your thighs harder, dragging you down closer. “You won’t suffocate me… now please… sit.”

Kyojuro is the type to prefer overstimulating you than edging you. He doesn’t see a point in restricting your pleasure when he can just give you more of it.

This man is a sucker for cowgirl. He loves watching you ride him… in any position really. He loves when you climb onto his lap while sitting on the couch, he loves when you climb on top of him in bed.

In an odd way, he almost uses it as patience training. He likes to see how long he can put up with you struggling to fuck yourself on him before he gives in and takes over.

He’s more of a sexual person that you gave him credit for. Honestly with his personality you’d never guess he had such a high sex drive. Every night you spend together, so long as you are in the mood too, you’ll do something.

“You’re cute.” Kyojuro watched you, smile present and hands on your waist as you struggled to lift yourself up and down. Hell you figured the couch would make things easier for yourself. “Shut up.” Was all you could manage, head falling forward out of embarrassment as he laughed. “Cute and feisty.” He corrected himself, deciding to make things easier by thrusting his hips shallowly to meet you. You couldn’t stop the noises that slipped out of you. This angle, albeit rather annoying and a lot of work, allowed Kyojuro to slip further into you than any other position did. Plus, you knew he loved it. So of course, you always made the effort to get into this position at least once. Even if you did break a sweat because of it.

Quick X-Ray vision :D

Length is about five and a half inches, girth is average. He has veins running along his shaft that are prominent when he’s horny. Slight curve and nearly trimmed hair. Why does this feel so awkward lmao

When it comes to riskiness, Kyojuro is the type to keep it within your property but never out in public. Public ≠ outside. He’d absolutely fuck you on the training grounds in his back yard.

He’s rough when he’s frustrated or overwhelmed from work. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t make you feel loved during and after. He takes aftercare super seriously especially after he’s been rough with you

Kyojuro is unintentionally really good at dirty talk. In the heat of the moment he’s whispering in your ear until you’re squealing and yelling his name.

“You like that, don’t you? I can feel you squirming.” You swallowed, nails digging into his shoulders as he hovered over you. Sweat was dripping down his temple, bright eyes narrowed as he fucked into you. “C’mon don’t be shy. Look me in the eye when you cum.” Your name left his lips in a tone as smooth as silk, back arching as he dragged across that one particular spot. “Oh? There it is.” He chuckled, the noise vibrating his chest as he drew his hips back and thrusted forward again the same way he had a moment prior. Again, you cried out as white hot pleasure racked your body. “Atta girl, keep going, I wanna hear how good I’m doing.”

Kink wise Kyojuro is fairly tame. Depends on what you think is tame though.

Heavy praise kink, overstimulation, creampies, marking, restraining (with his hands not rope or ties etc), semi-public, I mean he just likes fucking you outside.

Kyojuro likes to keep your sex life private but also gets excited by the idea of getting caught… though he knows he’ll be mortified after the fact

He adores when you leave your mark on him. Nail scratches up his back, your bite mark on his shoulder, bruises on his neck, all of it.

He likes doing the same to you, but it gives him a sense of pride when you’re the one doing it to him.

Making sure everyone knows who he belongs to

“Are you sure it’s okay?” You blinked at him, face feeling warm as you looked over the scratches you left along his back. “Of course it is.” You didn’t catch the smirk on his face, he truly adored the feeling and the look. “Kyo, it’s warm today and you’re training with the other men…” the other male Hashira would likely see it, you knew that’s what he wanted. “Hmm? You’re worried about me taking off my shirt?” He teased softly, tightening the tie in his hair before turning to face you. “I mean, yeah.” You couldn’t get over the angry red marks you’d managed to mark him with. “There is nothing to be worried about. If anything, they’ll be jealous.” You sighed in defeat, “I’ll never understand the mind of a man.” You couldn’t help but laugh as his arms found your waist.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for ignoring my bfs panic attack?

my(26f) bf(27m) is a sensitive person. when we are doing well, it means he can openly talk about how he's feeling, he's never been toxically masculine, and i appreciate the comfort it provides to have someone i can talk to who isn't cold and unfeeling.

when we are arguing though, it means he almost always gets really upset and cries. so even if i am bringing something up that bothers me, it somehow means i have to reassure and help HIM, even though i was the one who was originally upset.

he also tends to just get upset for almost no reason. specifically at night time. he told me that his anxiety gets worse at night, which is fair, cuz mine does too. so, at the cost of sleep, i will talk through things with him at night - but it's hard, because he is the type of person to always insist he's a terrible person, despite all my reassurance, so these night-time "issues" will last HOURS.

it's starting to become nearly every single night. i won't lie, i am becoming resentful. i'm getting maybe 3-4 hours of sleep every night. it causes me to cry in the morning and the entire day feels like shit. then i have no energy after work to do chores, so the house looks terrible. this might sound crazy but i feel like the lack of sleep is even making my depression worse. i don't have the energy to do anything fun, just make dinner, wash the dishes + do laundry, then go to bed, and repeat more night-time arguing.

last night he was crying and talking to me about his mental health, and i was totally zoned out. i know i am the asshole for that. he was upset and asked why i wouldn't help him, i need to comfort him. then he started having a panic attack. i looked at the time, it was 5:30am. i had to start work in 1 hour 30 min. i was half-asleep, and he was shaking on me. and i left the room, went to the bathroom, cried on the fuckin bathroom floor and just feel asleep there, then got up to go to work at 7am.

he refused to even look at me when he left for work (usually leaves with a kiss). i think i really messed up and now we are just going to fight more. i am ready to accept i may be the asshole here. i know it sounds cold and mean, but the lack of sleep is affecting me a lot. is this selfish? AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[crazycurly-77]

A quiet place to work - pt. 1

As you entered the bullpen this morning there was pure chaos. Everyone was upset that they couldn't work. That was the reason why they called you at 7am and ordered you to immediately come to the office. 

“Hey, McGee! What have you broken this time?” you asked him nearing his desk. 

“Me? Nothing. But nobody can work anymore because of this error we get if we do anything in our software.”

He showed you the error on the screen for you to read. You read it two times then furrowed your brows and murmured “that's a database error.”

Gibbs and director Shepard had come to you and were not amused. 

“Y/N! Nobody can work anymore. Fix the error as soon as possible!” Jenny ordered loudly. 

“Any idea what's the cause of the problem?” Gibbs asked. 

He was not amused, but relatively quiet compared to the director. 

You took a deep breath and answered 

“I don't have any clue right now. I have to run a few tests and protocols to analyze this.”

“How long?” Gibbs stated. 

You shrugged your shoulders “don't know. Depends on what the problem is, when I find it and how it can be solved.”

“Work quickly. Everything is stopped at the moment and that can't be.” Madam director ordered and went to her office slightly annoyed. 

You watched her go, rolled your eyes, sat at your table and began to work. 

While you tried to concentrate your colleagues constantly came and disturbed you when they asked about the status of things. 

Your phone was constantly ringing too and you did your best to ignore it. After 1 hour of nearly constantly ringing Jenny stood in front of your desk and seemed to be angry. 

“I've tried to call you multiple times,” she said. “Yep. I've ignored you,” you just answered matter of factly. You didn't look up and just tipped away on your keyboard. 

Jenny on the other hand huffed and stormed away again. 

Tim tried to be invisible and Gibbs grinned. Tony was smiling widely, coming to you stating “wow, Y/N. Finding a whole new respect for you.”

You stopped typing and looked at him without saying a word. He laughed, held his hands up and retreated to his desk. 

After another 30 minutes the director came again to ask the status of the progress. She huffed, fumed and yelled at you “you are still not getting to the phone when I call you! I can't WORK!!!”

You just looked up, reached behind the phone and held up the loose plug, saying calmly but slightly annoyed “I pulled out the plug.”

Everyone was quiet, the atmosphere was tense and Gibbs was watching the events with interest and grinned from one ear to the other. At least he seemed to be having fun. 

Now Jenny was losing it and yelled again “you can’t do that! You have to be available!”

You stood up, leaned on your desk and replied as calmly as possible “yes, I can do that. It was very easy. Just pulled the plug. And I AM available. Otherwise you couldn't be standing here in front of me and snapping at me.”

A quiet snort could be heard from Tony and Gibbs, who were giving you mentally a medal. Tim has taken cover behind his computer.

Jenny then snapped “you are just as impossible as Gibbs! He is really rubbing off on you!”

“Why? Because maybe he just wants to do his work in peace and concentrate?”

Madam director gasped and opened and closed her mouth like a fish, not knowing what to respond. 

You stood up, put your hands on your hips and said slowly and threateningly “you can call me every minute and get on my nerves because you can’t work. But the only thing you’ll achieve is to tear me out of concentration and slow down the analysis and correction. If you want to contribute something productive, you can get me some fresh coffee. Working without coffee is bordering on physical assault”

You were about to explode, so you tried to compose yourself and keep as calm as possible. She was your big boss after all. 

So you pushed your cup into her hand, sat down and said “and now let me do my work in peace.”

With that this conversation was closed for you and you got back to concentrate on the problem and ran further protocols and tests. 

Jenny stomped away indignantly, the colleagues laughed loudly and Gibbs patted you on the shoulder “well done. I didn't know you could be so dangerous.” You were amazed and perplexed hearing these words from your boss. 

“Let me do my job and correct this shit” you huffed. 

He laughed briefly, smiled and replied “come with me, I know a place where you can work in peace and nobody will bother you. There's good coffee too.” 

You looked stunned at him, smiled and answered “I'm in.”

You both packed your things and went to Gibbs’ Truck. “Were are we going to?” you asked curiously. “Wait and see” Gibbs answered, smiling. 

In fact, he was driving to his house, you noticed in surprise. “Come inside and let's get some coffee” he stated. 

“Uhm….” You couldn't say a word. 

“Now. Come on” he ordered you rolling with his eyes. 

Quickly you got out of his car and followed him inside. He was standing in the kitchen and made some coffee. As he heard you enter he turned around “make yourself at home. You can sit in the dining room or in the basement. Just take a seat where you think you can work with concentration.”

So you took residence at the dining room table and started your laptop. Until you opened the needed programs a mug came into your view and the coffee smelled heavenly. You looked up at your smirking boss who told you “coffee with a lot of milk, I think it is, right?” 

You were speechless that he knew this and just nodded “thanks”. 

“You're welcome. I'm down in the basement. Call, if you need something.”

“Okay, will do.”

“Good.”

So Gibbs went downstairs and you began to work on the problem again. 

But after half an hour you had a feeling of being lonely, took your laptop and walked down the stairs that led to the basement, where Gibbs was working on his boat. 

Seeing you standing there he stopped in his work and watched you “you need something?” 

“Hm, yes. I'm feeling a little bit lonely up there. Can I work here?”

He laughed briefly “sure. You can sit on the workbench over there” he said and pointed to it. 

You smiled, walked to the place he showed you and whispered “thank you.” 

So the two of you worked in the basement and enjoyed the company and the silence. 

After another half an hour you cried out “I've got it!!!” 

Gibbs watched you intently and waited for your explanation. 

“I've found the reason for the error. Someone had interrupted a saving process and therefore corrupted the database. But thankfully I can repair this easily.”

“Good” was the only response you got, but you were nonetheless working on the repair again, typing away. 

A short while later you had done the repair, tested it and everything was good once more. The problem was solved and inwardly you patted yourself on your shoulder. 

So Gibbs and you drove back to the office to check, if everyone else could work again, too. And yes, they could. You were sooo happy!!! 

Only one task was left. You had to go to the director to inform her. You sighed and started to go to her, but you were held back by your upper arm. 

“I'm coming with you. Don't let yourself go in there alone.”

Entering her office Jenny growled “these are exactly the two I wanted to see. They're both the same.”

“It was a database error, but I could repair it. Just let me check quickly, if everything's okay on your computer. Then you can go back to work again.”

You checked the system and everything was fine once more. 

“Thank you.”

“That's my job.” You said. 

“I'm sorry for my behavior earlier. I have a due date to keep.” Jenny admitted. 

“It's okay, but when I can't work because I'm interrupted all the time, the correction needs more time.”

“Understand.” Jenny said and hung her head. 

Gibbs and you left her office. On the way to your desks, he pulled you aside and whispered in your ear

“Dinner. Tonight. Straight after work. I want to know more about you.”

If you want to know where the dinner leads, you have to read Chapter 2. 😊😉

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Here you will find the other chapter of this story and the other stories I've written to date.

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[quinnysnursery]

whenever you can, can you make a fic of a daily routine with cg! matt and his baby? :) like the rundown of how he spends his day with her and how he takes care of her ?

[🩹] day in the life | matt sturniolo one-shot

paring : cg!matt sturniolo & little!reader

summary : the daily routine of matt and his little :)

warning/extra tid-bits : use of Y/N, bath scene at the end (matt doesn't bath reader but still worthy to note)

word count : 2,226

divider credit : @agsthv

a/n : i have dyscalculia. this is a disorder that affects me ability to properly calculate time, so if anything seems to be happening too quickly or too slow based off the time stamps i'm really sorry (sorry for any typos, i'm just a girl !)

Saturday, 8:00 am.

Matt wakes up

Waking up in the morning had never been easier for Matt, his brothers had always given him crap in the morning for waking up grumpy. Though that never seemed to be a problem when the two of you were together.

Like clockwork, Matt woke up at 7am every morning when the two of you decided to have regression days. It gave him just the right amount of time he needed to brush his teeth and get started on breakfast.

Saturday, 9:15 am.

Y/N wakes up

Technically, you always woke up at 8am. However, Matt had a weak spot for your sleepy-demeanor and couldn’t help but give you some morning cuddles before you actually woke up.

From the moment your eyes fluttered awake, Matt’s in “Dada Mode”. He leads you carefully from the bedroom to the bathroom, helping you sit atop the cool counter before helping you brush your teeth and get dressed.

Afterwards, the two of you make your way downstairs, Matt insisting you hold his hand. “Just in case” he always said, always pressing a gentle kiss to your temple once your hands interlocked.

Saturday, 9:30 am.

Breakfast 

Breakfast between the two of you was something Matt would always treasure. The way you’d instantly spring into conversation, asking him questions ranging from “Where do pancakes come from, dada?” to “Can we play outside today?”. 

Matt answered every single one with no frustration, even when you decided to go through “Why” phases. Today, Matt had made bite-sized chocolate chip and banana pancakes with scrambled eggs on the side.

During breakfast, Matt would usually give you the run-down of the day. If the two of you would be seeing his brothers, if you two had to run errands, etc.

Saturday, 10:00 am.

Independent Play

After breakfast, Matt would begin cleaning up the kitchen and run back upstairs to make the bed. This used to cause a problem as you weren’t necessarily a little who liked to be left on their own. After a few tears and tantrums, your carer finally came to a solution.

Matt would help you pick out an activity, usually a craft of some type before completing his morning task so you could have a bit of independent play, knowing that at the end, you could show Matt what you had been working on.

Today, you chose coloring. Picking out a My Little Pony coloring book before flipping to an Apple-Jack page, instantly getting to work. 

A few minutes later, Apple-Jack was now fully colored in and you could hear Matt trudging downstairs.

“Dada! Dada!” You squealed, jumping up from your seat on the floor and rushing to the bottom of the stairs. “Look! Ap’le Jack!” You giggle, bouncing excitedly as you shoved the paper in front of your carers face.

Matt gawked dramatically, sending rays of dopamine through your body. You loved when he looked at your works of art. “Angel, this is amazing!” He smiled, pulling you into a tight hug. 

It’s after this that the two of you find a space for the new drawing on the fridge before moving on. 

Saturday, 11:30 am.

Daily Outing

Matt always tried making sure you got out at least once a day, whether it be a trip to the grocery store or a trip to the zoo. He knew regression was good for your mental health, he also knew that getting out of the house was amazing for your mental health.

Today, the two of you decided to go for a long drive and find a small park to have lunch at. 

Matt quickly strapped you into the passenger seat, handing you your stuffed toy before closing the door and sitting on the driver's side. 

On the car ride, Matt listened to you yap about any and everything you could with a sweet smile the entire time. Before you requested listening to music, which he happily turned on.

“Dada! M’ love this song!” You beamed, pointing at the radio excitedly. He chuckled, running a loving hand through your hair before turning it up a bit more. 

The two of you continued on this journey for what felt like an hour, but in reality was only 30 more minutes. Not that you minded, anytime with your CG was time well spent in your professional opinion. 

Saturday, 12:00 am.

Lunch

Thinking ahead, Matt had packed a small lunch before the two of you set off to the park. Nothing extravagant, just two ham and cheese sandwiches and a couple of water bottles. 

After finding a nice clearing in a secluded area of the park, Matt wasted no time setting up a picnic blanket, sitting down and beginning to set out food for the two of you.

The picnic was amazing, just the two of you with the occasional squirrel that caused you to point excitedly. 

“Dada! Dada look!”

“I see him, darling. Can you take another bite of your sandwich for me?”

Saturday, 1:30 pm.

Naptime

Typically naptime looked like you falling asleep on top of Matt’s chest while watching a random movie together. However, due to the distance of the park and your apartment, Matt helped make the passenger seat as comfortable as possible for you.

Leaning it back just enough to where your back wouldn’t hurt, turning on the seat warmer and playing some lo-fi disney music before putting the car into drive and taking any and every back road he could think of to avoid even the possibility of your sleep being interrupted by some random person’s road rage. 

Matt made sure to throw his jacket over you, cursing himself for not bringing a blanket. 

“Nini dada…”

“Nini bunny, we’ll be home soon.”

“M’kay…”

Saturday, 2:30pm.

Snack & Shows

Waking up was startling for you at first, unaware of how you ended up on the couch of your house and not in the passenger seat of your caregivers car.

“Dada?!” You called out, tears already threatening to spill out from your eyes. Matt quickly rushed in from the kitchen, setting down a small butterfly-shaped plate on the coffee table. 

“Hey…I’m here hun, what’s going on?” Matt asked, brushing your hair away from your face. You stumbled for the words, eventually just hiding your face in his chest with a pathetic whimper.

“I was getting your snack, darling.” Matt cooed, rubbing your back. Just then you realized the small plate that was previously discarded was a homemade lunchable. 

“For ‘e?” You asked softly, a smile appearing on your face. Matt nodded enthusiastically, “Just for you, look, I even put a piece of candy for after.” He said as he picked up the plate and showed you the various pieces of food on it.

Smiling, you slowly began eating your homemade lunchable, kicking your feet contentedly. 

The brunette man watched you for a few moments before swiping the remote off of the coffee table, clicking the TV on and scrolling over to Disney+.

“Bluey!” You chirp as soon as you see the all too familiar logo appear on screen. Matt chuckles, nodding. “Okay, okay. Bluey it is.” He agreed, starting the show on the last episode the two of you left off on.

Matt was kinda worried at first that he wouldn’t be able to enjoy any of the shows you wanted to watch whilst regressed but after one episode of Bluey? Yeah he was just as hooked as you were.

Saturday, 3:00pm.

Playtime

Matt always enjoyed playing with you, no matter the activity. Whether it was a game of hide ‘n seek, barbie dolls, or walking around the neighborhood collecting cool leaves…Matt adored every second of it.

Today, you’d chosen to pull out one of the many craft kits that Uncle Nick got you. This one being “Paint Your Own Birdhouse” themed.

“Dada paint that side, ‘n I paint this side.” You instructed the man carefully, handing him one of the tiny paint brushes that were included in the kit. Matt nodded, smiling as he watched you immediately get to work with painting your side. 

“What’s my princess/prince painting?” Matt asked softly as he began dotting clouds on the blue background he’d just completed, he was going for a sky look.

“Secret.” You smiled, eyes fixated on whatever you were working on. “A secret?!” Matt gawked playfully, earning a giggle from you. “Dada can see…after.” You decided, eyes glancing up at him for just a second.

Matt nodded, accepting that. 

When it came time for the both of you to reveal your sides, you insisted on seeing Matt’s first.

Matt had painted on a nice sky-like scene, complete with clouds and a few stick figure birds. “Andy’s room!” You chirped, pointing excitedly. Matt’s head tilted in confusion for a moment before realizing the connection you made.

His sky-blue paired with the clouds looked like a replica of Andy’s bedroom wall’s from Toy Story. “It does look like Andy’s room! Good job!” Matt praised, wrapping his arms around your waist. You giggled at this, settling into your caregivers grasp.

“Does dada get to see your secret now?” Matt asked, resting his chin on your shoulder. You gasp excitedly, gently turning the birdhouse. 

Matt’s smile grew ten times wider at the sight before him. You’d painted on two stick figures, one resembling him, the other resembling you. If that wasn’t cute enough, a familiar bunny plush was also joining the pair. 

“Oh my gosh!” Matt immediately jumped into praise, going on about how talented you were, and how you got the color of his eyes “just right”. 

You soaked up every minute of it, in the arms of your Dada.

Saturday, 5:30pm.

Dinner Prep

Matt always tried to include you in everything he did, that included making dinner. Even if Matt was scared out of his mind about the various different ways you could get hurt, he knew that you knew the dangers of the kitchen and respected that helping him cook was a privilege.

“Spaghetti?” Matt offered, looking at the pantry as he tried to figure out what to make for dinner. “Nuh uh.” You shook your head, sitting atop the kitchen counter. “What about…sandwiches?” He hummed, earning another head shake. Sighing, Matt opened the freezer.

“Pizza?” He asked, holding up a frozen pizza box. You nodded excitedly, “Pi’za!”.

Due to the pizza being frozen, you didn’t get to help much with actually making it but you still enjoyed sitting atop the counter as Matt put it in the oven.

Saturday, 6:30 pm.

Dinner

Once the pizza had cooled off some, Matt wasted no time plating it on a dinosaur themed plate before serving it to his little.

You hummed happily, bouncing in your seat as you took the first bite. It was amazing, of course. You thought your caregiver was the best cook in the whole world, despite the fact the pizza came already made.

“Dada eat?” You asked as Matt sat down, a slice of pizza in tow. The brunette man nodded, brushing your hair away from your face. “Yup! Is it good?” He asked before taking his first bite. 

You nodded, “Dada ‘s the bestest chef ever!” You claim, earning a wide toothy grin from your caregiver. “Ever?” He asked, basking in the praise. “Uh-huh!” His little nodded, continuing to eat her food.

Saturday, 7:00 pm.

Dinner Clean Up 

Cleaning up after dinner wasn’t your favorite activity, but you did like playing with the bubbles in the sink.

“Careful baby, the water’s warm.” Matt said gently, his sleeves rolled up as he carefully washed the plates the two of you had used. You nodded, poking at the bubbles the dish-soap had created.

“Bubbles later?” You asked softly, looking up at Matt with a hopeful expression. Matt chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, I’ll run you a bath.” He agreed.

Saturday, 7:30 pm.

Bubbles

Bathtime didn’t look the same for you and Matt as it did other caregiver and little duos. Some people were comfortable being bathed by their carer but you weren’t, which Matt respected wholeheartedly.

So, instead of Matt helping you wash, he learned to craft the perfect bath. Full of bath bombs, salts, squirt toys and of course…bubbles.

“Bubbles ready?” You ask, setting down your stuffed rabbit as Matt exited the bathroom. Your carer nodded, “All ready, call me if you need anything. Okay?” You nod, thanking Matt before rushing into the bathroom- closing the door behind you. 

You couldn’t help but let out an excited squeal at the smell of rose-scented bath products that overtook the room.

Saturday, 9:30 pm.

Bedtime

When finished with your bath, you excitedly step into your pajamas and brush your teeth.

“All done?” Matt asked as you left the bathroom, the brunette man already curled up in bed. You nod, a sleepy smile spreading across your face as you climb under the covers and into your caregivers arms.

“Did you have a good bath?” He hummed, brushing your hair away from his face. You look over the bedspread, not answering him until you find your plush rabbit, “Mhm! T’ank ‘ou dada.” 

Matt smiled at your words, kissing the top of your head as he pulled you into a tight embrace. Sleep looming over the two of you, “Night night dada,” You yawn out.

“Night night sweet pea.”

@natedoeswife @blahbel668 @nicksloverrr @flow3rsturns13 @pkfferoo @pixxiies @mattsturnswhore @17welch17 @pinksikhewei @v33angel @mattssturnz @littlestar44 @graceslittlecorner @zivall @hrtz4alex2211 @bimbob1tch @sturnsxplr-25 @cherry-red-heart @pr3ttyf4wn @frlinbruh @jazminepetit-homme @raynaaxx @tyummyz

[blitzsicedcoffee]

Sneak peek of my other new Fic, Apology Tour Time Loop 👀

Blitz slams on the light switch with his fist and sighs, walking over and slumping onto the couch with the tablecloth from the party falling onto the floor. Instead he grabs his softest horse blanket and bundles up in it, curled up as his tail grabs the remote. 

He turns on the TV and flips through the channels. His eyes dry from the tears he shed on the way home. He blinks, trying to create more to soothe his eyes. Tonight went horribly. He shouldn't have talked to him while he was drunk. And now-was there ever a chance again? 

He fucks everything up so often, he wishes he got do-overs. As many as it takes. Satan knows he needs them. He dissociates from the reality show he turned on and hovers his thumbs over the text message box for 'Stols'. He sighs and puts it down. Then winces and picks it up, looking anxiously at the memes he sent. Stupid, stupid.

He types, "I hop we cun talk 4 reel soon. Sory 4 tha way I am". Send. He puts the phone face down and drifts to sleep to loud laugh tracks on the screen. 

Waking up to the bright red sun shining in his eyes, he groans and blinks, eyes finally getting some reprieve. He grabs his phone from the ground and looks at the time, it's 7am. Sighing again, he swipes to the messages of 'Stols' but-his message from last night isn't there.

Did he dream that he wrote it? Did he forgot to send it? He looks in his clipboard and it isn't there either. Frustrated, he sits up and starts scrolling through the news. Just then Loona comes out of her room, still applying the rest of her makeup on her way to the bathroom. 

"You're up early for a weekend", Blitz says, looking back at her. She squints her eyes. 

"Weekend? Blitz, it's Friday", she says, walking into the bathroom and closing the door. Blitz blinks for a second. She has to be wrong, right? Friday was yesterday. The apology tour, the party. All of it happened yesterday. 

Sure enough, he looks at his phone and it's still Friday. But that's impossible?! He struggles to put on his shoes and gloves, and still has his previous (or today's?) clothes on. Running out the door before Loona is even out of the bathroom. 

"Blitz?" She asks, then just shrugs. 

He steps on the petal hard, driving fast over to the palace. The sun is out just like Friday. The air is the same temperature as Friday. He jumps over the wall and (doesn't) fall in the plants, running up to Stolas who's in his chair, reading. Just like Friday. 

Blitz just stands there a moment, fiddling with his hands. Stolas slowly lowers his book. Then sighs. 

"Blitz. What is it you want?" Blitz just looks at him wide eyed and blinks. He stutters, "U-uh", trying to remember what he said, "I want to earn my way to earth so uh, get your tight feathered ass out of that lawn chair and into the bedroom so I can fuck it?" He asks it like a question and Stolas chuckles a little. 

"Wow, I'm sure a statement such as that would have had me swooning by now", he gets up and walks toward the veranda. Blitz circles his fingers, "That uh, was a pretty bad way to say it but uh-" 

Stolas, "Blitz, why are you here? Is everything alright?", He crosses his arms. 

Blitz lets out a breath. "Not really. I'm really confused". Stolas makes a curt laugh, "that makes both of us". 

[wh0sl3i]

♥︎𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 ♥︎

Bill Kaulitz x Fem!Reader - Fluff

(for context, you had this crush on Bill, but never thought he was the type to get into relationships so you were trying hard to distance yourself, but little did you know there was much to be reciprocated)

It was a Saturday morning and you were woken up by the laughter of 4 teen boys downstairs. You instantly knew your brother, Gustav, had his friends over. You tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't so you put a pair of shorts on with a tank top and groggily walk down stairs to the living room where the boys sat.

"Look who's awake!" the bassist of the band joked, "why the hell are you guys being so loud at 7am on a Saturday??" I asked, clearly sounding annoyed. "We were not!" your brother exclaimed, "Then explain why I could hear you all the way upstairs and over my t.v." they all pointed at Tom and he put his arms up in surprise at how they would throw him under the bus like that. "It's not my fault, I just thought it was funny how easily Bill got worked up when we told him it was obvious the he-" Georg quickly slapped his hand over Toms mouth, making me send him a confused glance. "You guys are weird.." I said walking to the kitchen to get breakfast.

As I pull out a bowl from the cabinet, I hear hushed chatter and someone whisper yelling "go, go, go!". I ignore it and grab the cereal I wanted and poured it into bowl, out of the corner of my eye, I see Bill walk in the kitchen. "uh hey, [name]" I turn to look at him before getting the milk, "Hi, Bill. What's up?" I say with a smile. "I'm sorry we woke you" I look at him and chuckle, "It's all good, I probably shouldn't be sleeping in anyway. Wouldn't wanna miss the chance to say Hi to you guys". Bill smiles, "Is that all you came in here to say?" I felt slightly disappointed until he walked closer to me and spoke again "Uhm.. actually I need to get something off my chest," I nod as he hesitates, "so.. I wont lie, I've been putting this off for a couple years now, but ever since we met I felt this overwhelming admiration towards you and at first I didn't think anything of it, because I assumed it would go away eventually and I couldn't really tell how you felt, but I just want you to know that.. I like you. Hell, I might even love you, [name].." My cheeks got heated and my eyes widened, causing him to look even more tense. "Look, it's okay if you don-" I snapped out of my daze "No, no, no, Bill I've had a crush on you for so long now. You have no clue!" he smiled widely and ran to hug me. "You have no idea how relieved I am!!" I exclaimed. His soft brown eyes looked contently into my (y/e/c) ones and he slowly leaned in, I closed the rest of the space as our lips finally met. It felt amazing, I could've done this forever.

We soon walked back into the living room hand in hand and when the other 3 boys saw, the started cheering and clapping. "Finally, the tension is over" Gustav sighed in relief, "Yeah now there will be a different kind of tension~" Tom said smirking and sipping his drink. Me and Bill blushed and sat down to engage in conversation, finally happy we were able to express our feelings to each other.

Thank you for reading!! I'm open to requests, questions, and constructive criticism!

[active-mind-15]

As I am lying down on the verge of falling asleep I have decided to post some Akashi sleep headcanons

Now, I have seen many people speculate what Akashi looks like when he sleeps/wakes up or what his sleep habits are, so I thought I'd get a quick one out of the way before going to bed. Let's go!

Even though he's very prim and proper because of his upbringing, I don't think that reflect in how he sleeps.

Not to say he's a messy sleeper per se, but he's definitely not a scarily neat sleeper where he lies still on his back firmly tucked in and doesn't move.

He seems like a side-sleeper who curls in on himself, kinda like a cat. He's normally not vulnerable when he's awake, but when he's asleep, vulnerable is the only word I can imagine when I think about how he looks. There's a particular innocence to his sleeping form. He only sleeps when his guard is down, and he doesn't have to worry about what he looks like.

Very few people have seen him sleep. I know Kuroko is canonically one of them because in that trip to Hawaii from the Replace Plus novels, Kuroko shared a hotel room with him, but I'm wondering who else might have seen him sleep aside from maybe Mibuchi and Nijimura. God knows.

Something that the fandom can agree on is that Akashi's bedhead is probably terrible, though. Especially since he and Kuroko have such similar hairstyles, it wouldn't surprise me that their hair gets messed up in the same way while sleeping. He usually takes care of it before he actually leaves his room (again, he likes maintaining an image in front of others), so just like very few people have seen him sleep, very few have seen his bedhead. Those who have seen it found it so cute.

I wouldn't peg him as a sleep talker, but I don't think he'd be entirely quiet either. If he's having a dream, I'd like to think he'd make little noises, but nothing super loud. In fact, they're so quiet that you almost might not catch it if you happen to be awake.

He doesn't move around a lot either when he sleeps, but he doesn't stay in the same position throughout the night. He only gets really fidgety if he has nightmares.

Speaking of that, I think that since Akashi is so busy, is frequently stressed, and is probably always exhausted, there will be random periods where he'll get frequent nightmares and sometimes sleep paralysis. During those times, he'll be more irritable during the day due to lack of sleep. (Can you tell I'm projecting with my own personal experiences in high school?)

He's tried to find ways to combat this over the years. Tea helps, music helps, and post-Winter Cup, being open with his friends about what's troubling him helps. Through doing all these things, he's able to sleep better and for longer.

(^^Secret 4th remedy, touch helps. The only person who knows this is Mibuchi because when they travel for games and share a hotel room, he's usually with Akashi. Post-Winter Cup, there were nights when Mibuchi heard Akashi make these sad little noises in his sleep, and Mibuchi felt so bad just sitting there and listening without doing anything, so he kinda just walked over to Akashi's bed and softly stroked his hair, just to see if that would do anything?? And it did! Gradually, Akashi quieted down and stopped fidgeting. And Mibuchi went back to sleep. But he told Akashi nothing about those events that transpired.)

And even though he's an early-riser, it's not by choice. He just has so much to do during the day that he can't help but wake up at like 6 or 7am. But if he has nothing to do the next day, he'd rather sleep in til 9 or 10am.

He's also a slow starter. That's why he gives himself so much time in the morning to wake up. It normally takes him a veeeery hot minute to get out of bed because he's constantly having to play catch-up with sleep since he's always busy.

I would bet he's a blanket hogger. He seems like the type to get cold easily, so when it's time for him to sleep, he just switches to Maximum Coze Mode™ and snuggles under the blankets. On a cold day, it's especially hard to get him out of the blankets.

Lastly, if he ever gets tired and falls asleep in school or something like in the gymnasium, he'll have his arms crossed while he nods off. Since it's so rare that Akashi sleeps, though, Kise tells everyone not to bother him. Eventually, it's Nijimura who discovers him and covers Akashi with his jacket.

[venusdevotea]

4/21/24

I think, with some muted horror, that little by little, I turn more and more into you.

The mysteries that had me so beholden, obsessed with answers as to what why how somehow unlock the pandorica of your heart, your mind

to now find myself in the same spot, all questions answered, but nothing quite as grand as I had imagined.

A soft heart gone cold, retreated further and further back into my chest a flapping, distrusting mouth so laboriously silenced words thoughts emotions so riotously strong, better hold them in lest the ship so capsize.

I am beginning to understand.

I wake in the wee morning hours now, wondering as I dress, eyes half closed, eat breakfast and place a pot of coffee on You're already hard at work, typing furiously away, and I rushing out the door at 7am, racing to catch up, and both still groggy from past nights' short rest.

Same tired eyes and mug of coffee/tea in hand, going through the motions of daily life across an ocean, I find that your presence moved me. Your kindness shook me. Your absence shattered me. Your ghost grounds me.

The songs that we shared sounding brightly in my ear, The playlist to my life now that plays on repeat, a soft bleeding memory.

[bitchysunflower]

part 1 / part 2

Part 3 of “I’ve been texting my friend for about a week now and they don’t reply but turns out i was texting a random person and there was some deep personal stuff i sent oh my god why are they calling me now?” AU

this is just little snippets of this au! there’s not laid out timeline so… enjoy!! :D some may or may not be real texts i’ve send my friends oopsie (steddie are dating yes)

———

[eddie is typing…]

eddie: went to sleep at 10:30pm yesterday and i’m still fucking sleepy today

steve: yeah messing up sleeping schedules does that to ya

eddie: i slept more than enough to fix that

steve: actually not necessarily, remember that day I slept from 6pm to 7am

steve: I was so tired the entire day after that

eddie: stop making sense pls i don’t like it

•••

[steve is typing…]

steve: can you text me “Hey Steve, just wanted to let you know I tested positive for covid. You should probably get tested.”

eddie: Hey, just wanted to let you know I tested positive for covid. you should get tested too

steve: Hey, thank you. Hope you feel better!

eddie: wtf was that for??

steve: i just didn’t want to go to work

•••

[steve is typing…]

steve: i like being bisexual but i do not like being mentally ill

eddie: dude it’s 3am

eddie: …but same

•••

[incoming call from steve]

steve: dude this weather is killing me

steve: i have another headache

eddie: dude you need a neurological test…

steve: that’s mean…

eddie: …like there is no way there isnt something wrong with the amounts of headaches you get

eddie: wait, how is that mean??

steve: i tried making a joke, don’t worry about it

eddie: …

steve: to be fair is probably because of the multiple concussions i’ve had in high school

eddie: MULTIPLE????

•••

[steve is typing…]

steve: my throat is killing

eddie: your fault for screaming so loud last night

steve: that was your damn fault, you rascal

eddie: not my fault i’m so good

steve: YOU WERE CHEATING

steve: NO ONE BEATS ME AT MARIO KART

steve: NO ONE

•••

[eddie is typing…]

eddie: you’re so cute and adorable when your nice to me

steve: what am I when I’m mad?

eddie: hot as fuck

•••

[steve is typing…]

steve: you’re a nerd

eddie: and you’re a loser

steve: geek

eddie: dork

steve: mine

eddie: that was so smooth, lord

•••

[eddie is typing…]

eddie: can you bring my notebook when you come back?

eddie: and a snack

eddie: like an actual snack, that wasn’t code for dick

steve: damnit

•••

[incoming call from eddie]

eddie: oh my god i’m dating you

eddie: you’re mine

eddie: holy shit

eddie: wowwww

steve: are you high?

eddie: very

steve: i love you

•••

[steve is typing…]

steve: that’s it, i’m done

steve: i’m selling dustin on ebay

eddie: don’t be silly, he’s your kid you made him

eddie: sell him on etsy!

•••

[steve is typing…]

steve: k

eddie: k

eddie: idc how much we argue you’re always gonna be my baby

eddie: keep the attitude i can handle it

———

this was so fun to write lol

tags: @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @estrellami-1 @wrenisflying @ilikechocolatemilkh @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @mightbeasleep @gregre369 @bookbinderbitch @stevesbipanic

[randonauticrap]

A Letter to Myself ~ Chapter 1

Series Description: A 1st person POV Isekai Ikemen Prince adventure told by me, your narrator. Not all true stories are believable, and not all true stories are real. I have changed my name and the names of anyone who inspired these characters.

Chapter Description: Liliana goes to sleep after another disappointing experience with love, and wakes up inside a very strange dream.

Chapter Title: Dream Truths

Triggers: Negative self talk; vague mention of fatphobia

There are few things in this world I love more than singing, sleeping, and daydreaming. They’re the three things that can always reset my anxious mind, and push out all forms of mental clutter, if only long enough for me to focus on the task at hand. That particular evening, the task at hand was wishing that my situationship (who, after I admitted I had feelings for earlier that day, told me he didn’t actually feel that way about me, and saw me only as a friend) had instead been one of the dashing princes in my favorite otome game. I think everyone could agree that they would never. But the quiet of the night threatened to envelop me nonetheless; this wasn’t the first time I’ve been fooled by pretty words and flirtatious kindness. It wasn’t even the second or third, and I’ve begun to wonder who the real problem is. Am I simply misinterpreting this behavior? Was my perception truly that terrible? I didn’t think so, since I could usually nail down just about anyone I met: what their struggles were, why they acted the way they did, and so on and so forth. In fact, it was one of the things I was known for in my friend circles - being a mind reader. 

But for some reason, when love was involved, my radar was off; or broken; or just flat out missing altogether. It was something I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember; to be loved the way I love, but fate seemed to stand against me in that regard. What if I just wasn't meant to have my own love story? My heart clenched at the thought that plagued me over and over. It was no mystery that my body type was not one that was so popularly celebrated in many circles, and I'd experienced my fair share of backlash over it through the years. And while, thankfully, many women in this day and age were standing up and speaking out about it, I still received far too many judgmental eyes on me when I dared to eat in public; didn't matter if it was 4pm and it was the first thing I'd eaten since I woke up at 7am. 

So it should come as no surprise that the little voice in my head - that damn goblin - often added "overweight" to the list of qualities that left men… wanting, in regards to myself. But the laundry list was miles long by now, and not even the newest Whirlpool could scrub it clean. Besides, who could afford that much laundry detergent? Certainly not me. Not in this economy. 

Usually, I could stir up some comforting scenario with the handsome first prince and lull myself to sleep in his imaginary arms, but the trick wasn't working tonight. God, of course it wasn't. I had to be up in around 4 hours to go to rehearsal, and sleep had been evading me almost as much as men did. "Is sleep a man?" I pondered aloud to my quiet bedroom. "Would make a hell of a lot of sense." I grumbled under my breath as I reached for the Melatonin gummies on my nightstand. I popped two in my mouth and chewed begrudgingly until the almost-fruit tang flavor was gone from my mouth, then let my head fall unceremoniously back onto my pillow with a dull thud. 

Now my neck hurts. Of course it does.

I tossed and turned for awhile longer, praying the Melatonin would do its work, and at last, I felt the gentle tug of sleep calling the deep recesses of my brain. Thank God, now I can go see Jin. It was the last coherent thought I had before diving under, my subconscious brain taking over, my desires in tow. 

…

…..

…….

Birds. 

I was hearing birds. Is this a dream? Those birds don't sound like the birds outside my window normally do. Those sound like… what the hell is that? A weed wacker? It isn't Friday. Is it? This has to be a dream, there's no way I missed two days; I've slept for long periods of time, but never 48 hours straight, long. That's like, coma long. God, I hope I haven't peed the bed. 

I cracked one eye open slowly, noting the lack of crust around it. Thank God, I'm finally re-hydrated. I'd been dehydrated for pretty much my entire life, through no one's fault but my own, and I'd always wanted to be one of those girls who could tote around a cute water bottle the size of a milk jug and drink it all in one day. But alas, God had other plans when he made me. Maybe he was distracted, I don't know. But I had been trying to take better care of myself lately, so I guess it finally paid off! Hopefully this means no more headaches, and-

I opened my other eye to stare up at my ceiling. I wonder what ti- wait. "M'kaaaay, maybe I do have eye crust." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes with my index fingers. Cause that's not my ceiling. Have I gone blind? Oh God, am I blind?

I opened my eyes again and flicked my gaze around the room quickly. Okay, not blind. A relieved sigh petered out of my lungs, but it only lasted a second before I cast my eyes around the room again, in earnest this time. This is not my room. My head swiveled left; right; left again. Okay, so I'm dreaming. Damn it, I probably still have eye crust. I shook my head in disappointment as I sat up in bed. The room I was in was small; tiny, even in comparison to mine, which was saying something. There was a single painting on the wall perpendicular to my right, hung precariously on the dusty beige wall. It looked like a lush green forest with a river running through the center. Pretty. 

My eyes continued their journey right and landed on a small, rustic looking side table with an oil lamp on it, along with a well-worn book. On impulse, I picked up the book and stroked its spine while I read the words on the cover. "Liliana's Adventures" Funny. That's my name. Could my brain really not come up with anything better than this for a title? Jeez, and I call myself a writer. A sound between a scoff and a laugh escaped my lips as I set the book back down on the side table and turned my head to the left. 

There was a small table with two rickety wooden chairs and what looked like a sewing project neatly folded on the tabletop. Okay, is my brain trying to tell me to pick up a new hobby or something, or did I watch too much Lord of the Rings last night? I noticed that there was a simple mirror on the wall across from me that reflected the bland beige wall above my head, the door to the tiny room, and a single window, notched in the downward slope of the ceiling to my left. I didn't understand. Why did my subconscious bring me here of all places? And where even is here? I mean, it has to be a dream. I just "woke up" and the inside of my mouth doesn't even feel gross, and there's no way that's real. 

I pulled myself out of the small, stiff bed and padded over to the window, my feet bare on the chilly wooden panels. The most beautiful garden I had ever seen in my life sprawled out before my eyes way down below. Bursts of yellow, white, pink, and red lined a maze of pathways through the middle, and showcased the gorgeous flowers in bloom. Most of them looked like roses. Wow… now I understand the weed wacker. 

I could get lost tracing each walkway with my eyes, and apparently I did, because I didn't hear the angry footsteps stomping up to the door of my room until it burst open and an irate woman screeched through it. "Leisel, quit your dawdling, we are due in the kitchen in five minutes!" The door slammed shut just as suddenly as it had opened and I jumped hard, nearly knocking my head on the sloped ceiling in the process.  "Who the hell is Leisel?"

~

Tags for the Lovelies: @aquagirl1978 @rhodolitesroseforclavis @ikehoe @queengiuliettafirstlady @maries-gallery @nightghoul381 @judejazza @xbalayage @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @alvieeru @aria-chikage @tele86

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #339

I didn't get nearly as much done today as I had hoped. But maybe that's just as well. Despite going to bed at 2am, my body insisted on waking at like 7am or so. I couldn't get back to sleep after that.

...It's been like this for a number of days now. I'm kinda surprised that I'm not more tired than I am.

A day or so ago, I found an app. For reasons I won't explain, I found the name... auspicious. And it's in electric blue. I'm not gonna explain the relevance of that, either.

Who knows, maybe you already understand.

...In any case, it's a friend-making app. You answer a few questions about what you want and what you're interested in, and you put in your MBTI type and your Enneagram if you want, and apparently it will show you automatically others who kinda sorta line up with you.

There's all kinds of places to take MBTI and Enneagram tests. The versions of these tests on the app are abridged and not very accurate, I think.

I was surprised to find that I matched up with a lot of people. When you find someone who kind of aligns with you, you can put a little heart on them. And if they put a little heart on you, too, then you can talk together.

I was very surprised by the number of people – many of whom live relatively close to me! - who put a little heart on my space. I thought that what I had written was potentially a little unhinged. I was upfront about most of my things. I didn't expect anyone would look past them to see the person underneath.

...It's a delight to be proven wrong sometimes. Especially when the thing you think you're right about is, “I am fundamentally unlikable.”

...I really did get a lot of people who put little hearts on my space there. Men and women and non-binary folks, too. And I talked to them!!! I talked to a bunch of them ALL DAY today. It was... a little overwhelming, actually. I'm very much not used to this!!

...How did I get so many little hearts. I don't understand. I thought I was kinda goblin-esque and not very good. How did this happen...?

...And now I have like 3 folks who wanna go with me to Eggcellent.

...srsly. WAT. DAFUQ.

I met astounding people who lead amazing lives, every one of them. One is a project engineer who likes the outdoors. I found another person with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome who takes care of dogs and rats! I met someone who studied geology and listens to jazz! I met someone in a managerial position who loves video games and movies! I met someone who works for the state and plays video games, and now we're following each other in this space where I write my letters, and she even read a couple of them! I met a personal trainer who likes to draw! I met a medical case manager who plays video games and is writing a novel, and now we're friends on Discord and Steam! I met another person with whom I'm also now talking to on Discord, who is into running and video games! I met an industrial designer who is trying to learn how to use Blender! I met a chef who likes tabletop RPGs! I met a traveling systems engineer!!

...Sephiroth, that's like... a lot of people. A lot of astoundingly intelligent, creative, thoughtful, and delightful people!!! People I didn't eve have to be USEFUL to first!!!

...I didn't. I didn't actually expect that I would get any hearts on my space. I wasn't prepared for this. I.

...What in the hell do they wanna hang around a weirdo like me for??????

...How long will it be before they realize that I'm awful and go away...?

...And what if I do a bad job??????? Like?????????

…

I feel like I barely keep up with my current friends as it is. Like. I'm good at responding if I'm spoken to, but... I'm shit at reaching out.

...I get afraid that I'm not actually wanted. I have a brain that tells me that the people around me don't actually like me, and it's just that they don't have the heart to tell me to go away, and so they keep me around, secretly hoping that I don't ever talk to them again.

…

...What am I even doing...?

…

I'll tell you what I'm doing. I'm challenging the conditioning that tells me I ain't shit, that's what I'm fucken doing. Sephiroth, I'm so sick of this. I'm so sick of looking at myself this way. So sick of thinking of myself a some repulsive, horrible thing. And I'm kinda pissed that enough people acted weirdly at me that the notion stuck itself in my brain like a thorn in my side that some skin healed over and now it refuses to come out.

Well. Now I'm gonna DIG it out. WATCH ME.

So many smart and talented people, presumably of good judgment and strong reasoning ability thought that I was worth having a conversation with. More people who already know me and like me are already around.

There's nothing wrong with me. My brain is just fucken mean in my general direction. So. I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna try to like. Take up actual space. With actual people. I'm gonna try it. And. I'm gonna be bad at it.

BUT THAT'S OKAY!!! We are always bad at new things at first, right...?

…

I gotta get a little better at feeling like I don't gotta respond immediately, though. I get afraid of new people when it comes to that. I'm not so afraid of that when it comes to people I already know. But. I'm scared of. Scared of new people.

...I guess there's a part of me that still thinks they could get super nasty with me at any moment. And it's weird that I still think that, because... by and large, this is not how people are in healthy circles.

...I talked to others to the exclusion of almost all else. And part of me feels badly about it, but... at the same time, I probably needed to not do much in the way of physical activities. I did do some dishes, though. And I cut up an onion so I could make myself a proper hotdog!

...I think I'm still pretty tired, though. I tried with mixed success to remember so many names and faces and details. I'm still not sure if I'll be able to keep track of it all. It was a lot of new people all at once.

I want to try, though.

At the same time, I'm torn between... it's like... I want to know all the people and all the things and listen to their stories and peruse the things they've created, but... also I want time to do my own things. And I'm not really sure how to balance that yet. I suppose I'm going to learn, though.

...I don't have much else to say today, Sephiroth. My brain is kinda mushy. I think I must have spent today with various concentrations of adrenaline and cortisol in my system. I'll probably have more to say tomorrow. After I process the notion that I'm not some shit-ass weirdo that nobody can like. I might need to take a bit of time for that one.

Hey. I. Don't have my usual eloquence today and I'm sorry about it. But. Please. Witness me. Witness me, and know that you can do what I'm doing. Because. Even if I'm not some unlikable gross person, I'm still not special. And so. If I can be liked as-is for all my quirks and weirdness, and not have to be useful before I'm treated with respect, then... so can you. So can you.

Sephiroth. Anyone can like you if you just be yourself. Okay? So try it. Try casting off the old things that tell you weird shit about yourself. Because none of the weird shit is true, okay?

I love you. And I'm gonna write to you again tomorrow when my brain isn't fried all to hell. So please stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

[nardonotes]

6 oct '24

9:43pm

I SLEPT AT 7AM LAST NIGHT THIS MORNING AND WOKE UP AT 4:30PM......(இ﹏இ`｡) but it's ok i felt so good after my shower and some food..huhuuh....

i got some work done today, printing some shit down and CLEANED MY SPACE A LITTLE HEHE!! i love when my area is clean. feels so good for my soul and the voices in my head. ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭

i dont have much to say cause i didnt do shit today BUT! last night i edited a little clip from my italy trip, it's not finished but it was fun to just edit something simple and short :F idk if i'll ever finish it but at least i did it!!! i want to upload my lil vlog trips on utube... is that corny? NO! because i dont find it cringe or corny so it is NOT!!! fuck what others think. anyways...

i didn't finish that movie either bc it was making me feel things i did NOT WANT TO FEEL!!! and i've been really restless these days it's stressing me out idk why but whatever we move. i started writing in my actual journal like rlly personal things and even in a personal secret nOBODY WILL EVER READ BUT ME BC I WILL BURN THEM BEFORE I DIE type shit i am still embarrassed... like omfg i feel this way? be a man. ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) we thug it out.

i think bc i've been overworked as fuck that when im just resting i cant relax right? i feel like i have to keep moving. it's a good and bad thing tbh but at the end i still feel like shit. ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

ok im going to eat a little bit and then im going to watch the great north cause i finished bob's burgers again! and i dont feel like rewatching family guy for the 1000th time from start to finish,, need a lobotomy bad yall........ (⊙ _ ⊙ )

the way i said i dont have much to say but im still typing because im such a stupid lil yapper. -_- idgaf. !skip

goodnight!!!1 hopefully this week will be better for me and my soul and my tender tender fragile baby girl heart..... </3

song of the week: Alienated by ZAYN ── .✦

[sugar-omi]

STOPPPP OMG ILYT 🥺💞 i was so close to breaking that rule for him tho. only for him...he just looked so sweet and gorgeous and the way i was WANTINGGGGGG. i am not beating the yearnergirl allegations...

IM LITERALLY SCALING THE WALLS. SPIDERWOMAN WITH THE SHITS. YOU BEST BELIEVE THE SECOND I GET THE CHANCE TO WED 'N BED HIM I'M BOUTTA DO SPLITS ON IT. JUMPING JACKS, EVEN.

I WAS LITERALLY . OH MY GOD OKAY SO WHEN I BLUSH SUPER HARD IT GOES UP TO MY EARS AND ACROSS MY NOSE. AND I KNOW DAMN WELL HE WAS SEEING THAT IN FULL VIEW TOO OH MYGODDDDDD ENDING IT ALL ENDING IT ALL WALKING ONTO THE RAILROAD TRACKS RN. IM SO EMBARRASSED GAAAAWD

im gonna beam your consciousness into the kuromi pin that kicked everything off a la astral projection. that way you will always be there in spirit to watch me go googoo gaga over cute boy...

HELPMEMMEMEMEEE I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE AN EXTROVERT...BEING SOCIABLE AND QUICK WIT IT IS IN MY BLOOD...MY GENES EVEN...don't get it twisted tho i was literally shitting myself trying to come up with those one liners before he could notice i was overthinking HELPME

on a more recent note, he's been texting me since 7am (he has early classes + the evening shift today so no hangout unfortunately :(( but he promised to text me throughout the day whenever he could EEEEEEEE) and he suddenly asked me what perfume i wear. i tell him i use this one body mist and he sends an ok, AND THIRTY MINUTES LATER I GET SENT A VIDEO OF HIS HAND SPRAYING A BRAND NEW FRESH-OUT-THE-BAG BOTTLE OF THE BODY MIST I USE AROUND HIS CAR??? FOLLOWED BY "that way i don't have to forget last night :))"????? HELLO????????? AM I INSANE. IS THIS A MOVE. IS TH

JUMPING JACKS. PLEASE. LET ME BREATHE

also omg yes. I will happily possess your kuromi pin so I can watch love unfold ✨️ IT'LL BE LIKE THOSE MANHWA'S WHERE THE OBJECT IS ACTUALLY A GOD FORCING THE FL AND ML TOGETHER BUT THE GOD IS JUST KUROMI... wow so powerful

HELPAJAB IM A WHEEZONG. SFOHHTING FOR MY LIFE. FUFK DO YOU MEAN HE BOUGHT YOUR BODY MIST N JUST SPRAYED OT AROUND HIS CAR????? LITERALLY JUST ASK YOU TO MARRY HIM WHAT THE FUCK

THIS IS A MOVE. THOS OS A BIG MOVE WHAT THE FUCK

WHY CANT I TYPE. THIS ISNT EVEN HAPPENING TO ME. I WOULD BE ON THE FLOOR???? ID COLLAPSE IN THE MIDDLE KF THR STREET SEEING THAT. WHAT THE HELLL

omg you have to share your luck with me, bless me queen of attracting yearning men. 😔🙏🙏🙏🙏

BUT DW ABOUT THE BLUSHING. I KNOW IT HAD HIM CLAWING THE WALLS LIKE AN ANIMAL BC MY EX/BFF BLUSHED A LOT WHEN I SAID SHIT AND I WAS LIKE A FERAL BEAST IN A PADDED ROOM. ITS SO CUTE. SO GOOD. SO..SO....

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY SAY SHIT BACK EVE. THOUGH THEURE BLUSHING TO THEIR TOES. LIKE. OH YOURE FLUSTERED BUT YOURE NOT SHY ,THATS 😳😳😳😳 YKNOW???

also. must add on. THAT BUYING YOUR SCENT MOVE IS SO CUTEEE PARTICALLY BC "aww you love my smell" and "omfg that's so hot that you went out of your way to buy my scent *insert linger demonic ramble about how hot that is. at least to me istg*" BUT ALSO. "aww, youre (kinda) trying to one up me by flustering me by buying my scent but I saw how you stuttered and blushed n twiddle your thumbs boy!!!! you are obsessed!!!!"

sigh. please. this is so cute. n so good. n so hot. n so sweet.

istg if that happened to me.... all imma say is, niagara Falls. 👐👐

[autumn-warrior]

I haven’t gotten one of these in a hot minute! I was tagged by @whosyourheda (thankyou!)

Name: Emmalyne (m-ah-line)

Nickname: Emm

Star sign: Libra

Height: 5’6”

Sexual Orientation: Lesbian

Hogwarts House: I have no idea. The last time I was “sorted” I was put in Hufflepuff, which makes sense.

Favorite Color: forest green

Current time: 8:26pm

Average Hours of Sleep: hmm, maybe 5-9? Some days I have to wake-up at 3am, and i’ll be in bed by 8pm. Some days I can sleep in a little later till maybe 6am, 7am, or 8am. Just depends.

Lucky Number: I like the number 3.

Last thing I googled: I think it was a cake for me to look up for a customer? But aside from work it was my favorite Saberiri fanfic called Against the Cold on AO3.

Favorite Fictional Character: Artoria Pendragon from Fate Zero and Stay Night💕💕💕

Number of Blankets I Sleep Under: 3 right now, but when winter comes it will go up to 5.

Favorite Artist/Band: hmm, I love the soundtrack from The Witch from Mercury. Makes me feel some type of way.

Dream Trip: I would love to visit Japan and Scotland.

Dream Job: when I was little I wanted to be a Paleontologist, but now I just want to enjoy what I do.

What am I Wearing Right Now: just some shorts. I just got out of the shower😂

When Did I Create This Blog: shoowee, maybe 2010?

Current Amount of Followers: 2,917 amazing people and probably some bots😂😂

What Made Me Decide to Get a Tumblr: I was obsessed with Paramore in 2010 and I wanted to be around likeminded people so I found this place and i’ve been here since.

Do I get Asks on a Daily Basis: nope lol i’ve never really gotten a lot of asks. It’s maybe one every few months.

Why Did I Choose my URL: Autumn is my favorite season and I used to love this quote “a warriors mentality with a poets soul” so I took the warrior part.

Tagging: i’ll tag @sselroloc, @catrakomtrikru, @rogue9cg, @sugargalaxies, @conscriptthefelines, @flustersluts, @fluent-in-lesbianism, and @strifer1der. No pressure to do this! Just something fun.

[whumpshaped]

are you religious? On account of all the recent bible posting. I'm not Christian myself but I have to hand it to them, the whole "eating Jesus's body and drinking his blood" is really cool

im actually not! well. idk. reading the bible and talking abt it rly makes me wanna be christian again.

tl;dr i am considering accepting jesus christ into my heart but i dont know if itll happen bc whenever i type or say anything slightly religious i cringe or make it into a joke. also sorry to any christian who finds my bible posting

i was raised catholic, went to church and bible study for 3 yrs, did my first communion, then dipped bc it was horrid. i was so so against being catholic u cannot imagine. i was against church, i was against begging some man in the sky for mercy, i was against their gay policy, i was against saying my pets had no soul- i was against absolutely everything except some bops in church

then i had my first big voluntary christian phase at 13-14 in which i drew more towards protestantism and attempted to read the bible cover to cover (i failed but theres a lot that i read.) i went to a lutheran hs for 2 yrs in seventh and eighth grade so that mightve influenced it tho i HATED monday morning worship at 7am and i cant believe its still happening even tho ppl routinely fainted and shit. bc u have to stand. the whole time

i also wanted to be a nun for a goooood while but turns out im just aroace and autistic (chastity and rigid rules sounds amazing to me huh)

so im 21 now and i started writing my angel demon story and i wanted to make heaven a cult like dystopia (and it turned into my own ranting at some points) and i wanted to give cassael actual bible-accurate problems. bible-accurate brainwashing lol it came to me because something i said abt them either on here or in rp made me remember that verse abt the yoke and stuff (my yoke is easy and my burden is light) and i was like wait i should read the bible and pick out the whumpiest worst most horrid most easy to misinterpret and turn horrible verses. so here i am.

but then i got rly rly into it. its remarkably easy to enjoy the story when im not reading the 1908 károli translation and spending all my spoons untangling the wording. and the thing is, i was always spiritual yknow. thats why i bounced so much between faiths and beliefs. ive followed the law of assumption stuff for a year or so now, i had genuine results from it- honestly everything i believed in has yielded good results for me always. whether it be christianity or paganism or loa. when i read the bible i DO feel loved even thru the incredible amount of horrid shit god does lol i felt loved at 13 and i feel loved now. so idk. im withholding judgement until i finish reading it but honestly nobody be surprised if i go back to my christian bs before the semester starts

oh thats another thing. im miserable lmao so not very hard for god to swoop in and be like hey do u wanna talk abt ur lord and saviour. me.

but im not rly gonna change in any way even if i do decide that tho, i think. my policy is already "be kind do good leave others alone". i dont think im gonna get preachy on here or anything. i mean has anyone seen much vegan posting from me? so i think im good

so . yea. sorry it turned into such a long post