#Incorrect firefly quotes

[mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips]

Chim: Buck has a plan. That's good, right?

Eddie: It's possible you're not recalling some of his previous plans.

[incorrect-firefly-quotes]

Zoe: The captain can handle himself.

Mal, face down on Serenity's floor: Where the rut am I?

[ladyphlogiston]

Wash: I might have trusted the process too much this time

[hisbucky]

Chris: So you're gonna date my dad? Tommy: Huh? No, I'm just friends with Eddie - Chris: Not dad dad. My other dad. Tommy, blinking: ...Evan? Chris, scrunches his nose: Who the fuck is Evan?

[z-socks]

Hondo: What we require is a diversion. I suggest Kenobi gets naked

Cody: No

Hondo: I could get naked

Cody: No!

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: What did I say to you about barging into my apartment?

Damian: That it was selfish and impulsive?

Dick: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was: Don't.

[weewoowings]

Buck: *wrapping his arms around Tommy from behind* How is the most dashing boyfriend doing this morning?

Tommy: *takes a sip of his coffee* Good question. How are you doing, baby?

Buck:

[thestarwarslesbian]

Phillip: You are not good enough for my son. Tommy: You’re not good enough for your son. Phillip: Excuse me? Tommy: You heard me.

[incorrectstarrailquotes]

Stelle: Hey, have you ever been arrested—

Firefly: Yeah, how could you tell?

Stelle: ....was gonna say because it's illegal to be that cute....

Stelle: ...but now I'm curious.

Firefly: Mass murder.

Stelle: Oh.

Stelle: I want you.

[menace-behaviour]

Buck: *Having 'Sad Hoodie Hours™️' at Maddie's house*

Maddie: *Handing him a mug of hot chocolate* Okay, spill. Why do you have that "My goldfish ran away from home" face on?

Buck: Me and Tommy have been on opposite shifts for like 3 weeks now. I just miss him and I'm trying to not act out about it. I actually considered driving to the LAFD Air Base and starting a trashcan fire in the parking lot. It's either that or sending him notes made with letters cut out of old magazines.

Maddie: You know, I’ve got a whole box of old positive pregnancy tests in my bathroom cabinet. If we hurry, we could get to FedEx before closing and have him in a panic by noon tomorrow.

Buck: You’re a national treasure and I love you.

[mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips]

Taylor: They won't speak to me directly. He's taken an irrational dislike.

Eddie: What happened, he see your face?

[incorrect-firefly-quotes]

Simon: You're not psyhic, Wash.

Wash: [holding some tarot cards] I AM psychic, Simon. I did a course. I got a certificate.

[ladyphlogiston]

Mal: Why do these things happen???

River: Reasons.

[hisbucky]

*Eddie adds Tommy to the husband group chat* Michael: Who is that? Bobby: Buck's new boyfriend. Eddie: Be nice. He's sorta my boyfriend too. David: Since when did that happen?! Chimney: I'm still wondering that myself. Tommy: I guess I should say hi...? Eddie: Before you ask, Buck's not in here cause the other chat collectively kidnapped him. Bobby: I still remember that war — Michael: What war? Athena decimated us.

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Tony: We need a diversion. I say Thor gets naked.

Steve: No.

Thor: I could get naked.

The Avengers: NO!!!

[tevanbegins]

Scenes at the medal ceremony —

Captain Gerrard: *Ignores Hen and Chimney and walks over to Tommy*

Hen & Chimney: *roll their eyes and give him the finger behind his back*

Captain Gerrard (to Tommy) : Hey, Tommy, my boy! It was an idiotic, thoughtless risk you took flying into a hurricane without waiting for the Chief's orders, but congratulations on the medal!

Tommy (sarcastically): Well, that's what you do for family. But you wouldn't know that, would you Captain Gerrard?

Captain Gerrard: *ignores the taunt*

Anyway, I'm proud of you!

Tommy: I stopped trying to make you proud a long time ago.

Captain Gerrard: *confused*

What do you mean?

Tommy: *calls Evan over*

*smooches the hell out of Evan in front of Gerrard and God*

Hen & Chimney: *wolf whistle*

Tommy: This is what I mean. Meet my boyfriend, Firefighter Evan Buckley from the 118.

Evan: *blushes at Tommy's move and proudly nods at Gerrard*

Captain Gerrard: *gasps and faints*

Chimney: What's our motto?

Tommy, Evan, Hen, & the 118: WHO CARES!