#longer ones

[hisbucky]

Bobby: ... Eddie: ... Bobby: So I've heard you finally made an honest man out of my son, Diaz. Eddie, coughs: Y-yes? I mean, yeah. I did. Bobby: Tell me, will it take another decade before you're ready to make him your husband? Eddie, chokes: I, uh - Bobby, grumbling: Because let me tell you — Buck becoming your boyfriend has been a long time coming but more of this and I'll be in a grave before I get to see the wedding! Eddie, panicking: I already bought a ring! Bobby: ... Eddie: ... Bobby, stares: ... Eddie, stares back: ... Bobby, pissed off: So now you think you can take my son away that quickly, huh?!?! Eddie, groans: God, I cannot win.

[drumlincountry]

If your life is horrible and you need a new source of meaning and direction.... Do NOT find religion. Learn to identify plants.

[verifiablebot]

'this property says it has nine acres but those neighbours look pretty clo-'

oh.

ohhhhhhhhh no

[inkskinned]

my brother got covid because he's a college professor and there's not much he can do to mitigate exposure when he has 200+ students per lecture. he's got a baby at home, so he does his best, but.

the governmental website for covid information is now propaganda. not a joke, not hyperbole, not an exaggeration: it's genuinely the definition of propaganda. this is biased misinformation determined to push a political stance. it is being hosted on a government server. it looks like something you'd find in a "top 10 weird internet conspiracy stories (and their origins)" youtube video.

my brother called me when he saw it. he had me type it into google. for a second i legitimately thought that i had typed something wrong. we have both taught college: we have both said "a .gov site is usually a reliable resource." i just stared at my phone for a long, long time.

i thought about how when i was a kid, conspiracy theories were mostly fun and a little spooky. unserious. i remember reading some long, complicated website about how avril lavigne is dead. how bigfoot is real. it used to be funny-and-a-joke.

over seven million people (globally) have died from covid. america has the highest death rate with over 1.2 million people.

the thing is - every time a person dies from something like a mass shooting or poverty or treatable illness - we are told don't make it political. we are told it's just something that can happen. we are told it's sad but what can you do!

the president of the united states is using a government website to try to erase the very-real deaths that he personally caused due to a complete mismanagement of the pandemic. the president of the united states is using a government server to host propaganda, undermine science and medicine, and encourage distrust amongst his followers.

nothing is going to happen. nobody's gonna, like, do anything about it. it's a thursday today, and we are just going to move on from this like we have been moving on from everything else.

yesterday my brother was outside walking his dog, mask included. a guy in a truck pulls up and shouts something about covid and whatever the fuck else. my brother has a good sense of humor, described it to me as enthusiastic! i hadn't ever been catcalled before, this was new and therefore thrilling! i do see why you hate it, though. like. i have actual covid, does he want me to cough on him?

my brother doesn't get extra time off work anymore, because the cdc practically doesn't exist. my brother said i'm not exposing 200 students to covid. his boss shrugged and said: who cares? they're going to get it eventually anyway. like it isn't a pandemic.

like it's just a fucking thursday, and who cares about it.

[bedupolker]

I think you could have a very long and impassionated debate on whose legacy was bastardized worse: Jesus Christ or that poor little Japanese dog

[unsung-idiot]

don't show him modern technology; it won't end well

bonus under the cut:

[spookberry]

dont tease ur half-dead boyfriend, jeez

[kurxo]

I've got a river running right into you // I've got a blood trail, red in the blue.

[conundrumoftime]

"NO DWARVES IN MY FOREST 😡"

"Your wife is hot."

"...THIS ONE DWARF WITH IMPECCABLE TASTE CAN STAY"

[ellierenae]

write unpublishable things. it's good for you.

[hisbucky]

Eddie: I did not summon a demon. Buck: Are you sure? Cause it says here in my contract that I'm supposed to be bound to you. Eddie: And what is that supposed to entail? Buck: Well, it's a bit like marriage - Eddie: Do you want my blood? My soul? I can give you anything except for my son. Buck, taken aback: Uh, well actually, I would be bound by my contract to protect your son - Eddie: Deal. Where do I sign, future Mr Diaz?

[kimquatz]

process of drawing an OC: - you design them - you get attached to them - their hair gets bigger without you realizing it

[datcravat]

DANDADAN

[varpusvaras]

Bruce, for the record, is absolutely stoked when Jason brings Roy around.

Because this now means that he is a grandpa. He is so ready to be a grandpa. Let him be a grandpa. Please please please please-

(finally, he gets to just give things to someone. anything they want. (finally, he gets to give Jason so much money and things and Jason can't say no because they are for Lian too))

The thing is, now he is in a very deep and serious rivalry with Oliver, who will not be replaced as the number one grandpa. Absolutely not. So now they are waging war on each other for Lian's affections.

It's messy and it's bloody.

One day, during a JLA meeting, Green Arrow notices something peeking from underneath Batman's suit. It's colorful, so it stands starkly against the dark suit. It looks very familiar.

Green Arrow looks down on his hands. At the friendship bracelet Lian had made for him. He looks back up at Batman and the very familiar colorful thing he has on him.

"What is that?" He asks.

Batman turns to look at him. He follows Green Arrow's gaze, and looks at the colorful thing on him, and then at the bracelet on Green Arrow's wrist.

"What is that?" Batman asks, nodding at the bracelet.

"I asked you first."

"I asked you second."

Green Arrow glares at Batman.

"It's a friendship bracelet my granddaughter made for me", he says.

Batman glares at Green Arrow.

"And this is a friendship bracelet my granddaughter made for me", he says.

They glare at each other. The meeting room has become several degrees colder. No one dares to utter a word.

Then they both pull out their phones and make a call.

"Jason-"

"Roy-"

Jason and Roy, in their bed, both realising that their dad's are calling them at the same time: fuck whatever it is, we're going back to sleep

[redpapercraness]

i wanna see that girl DEAD on the GROUND