#source: critical role

[incorrectquotesfromthelighthouse]

First Warden: I'm disappointed in you, Rook. Grey Warden!Rook: That means... literally nothing to me.

[superiorsturgeon]

Pyrrha: *visiting Argus and enjoying a hot tub*

Saphron: *wrapped in a towel* Hey, Pyrrha Nikos! What a surprise running into you! Do you mind if I join you in the hot tub?

Pyrrha: *sinks down a bit* Uh…I can’t think of any reason why you shouldn’t…! 😅

Saphron: *drops her towel and slips in* Oooooh…! That feels good…!

Pyrrha: 😐

Saphron:

Saphron: …listen, Pyrrha…can I call you Pyrrha?

Pyrrha: Oh! Of course…!

Saphron: I know that you were partnered with my little brother Jaune. He talks about you all the time in his letters and on the phone.

Saphron: I don’t know much about your relationship or about you, but I know you’re a big celebrity and I’m pretty my brother likes you.

Pyrrha: I…well…I’m flattered…? 😅

Saphron: Now, I know he’s kind of a dork, and that he’s got terrible social skills, but he’s my baby brother, so I don’t want to see him hurt! 😔

Saphron: I’m honestly amazed he made it this far in combat school, let alone landed a partner like you!

Pyrrha: …well…Jaune is very determined and that’s just how the chips fell! 😅

Saphron: Look…I guess what I’m trying to say is…please don’t hurt him. If he asks you out, just let him down gently, okay? I love my brother but you are, like, WAY out of his league! 🙄

Pyrrha: *fidgeting awkwardly* …um…well, I think you may be selling him a bit short… 😕

Saphron: Well, whatever happens, please just be kind to him. I know he thinks he’s a big, tough huntsman student now, but to me he’ll always be my goofy baby brother who cried when we watched Finding Nemo!

Pyrrha: Well, um, you can certainly count on me to take care of Jaune!

Saphron: Thanks, Pyrrha. I really worry about him, you know? He’s like a wet cat sometimes, so pathetic that you just want to protect him! 😆

Saphron: Oops! I think I left my phone in the locker room! I’d better grab it in case my babysitter needs me!

Saphron: *climbs out of the tub and walks away*

Pyrrha: *cranes her neck and watches until Saphron turns a corner* 😬

Pyrrha: *frantically reaches under the water and pulls* 😰

Jaune: *surfaces beside Pyrrha with no clothes on and gasping for breath* I thought she’d never leave…! 😫

[incorrect-spiderverse]

*All the spider-fam worried about Miles after everything that just happened*

Peter B Parker: "Don't worry about him. I'm sure he's fine"

Gwen: "Yeah, Miles is great. I'm sure he's got everything under control."

*meanwhile, elsewhere in Earth-42*

Miles, close to tears: "WHERE THE FUCK AM I?"

[theunmappedstar]

Fitz: Guys, we’re friends... right? We’re friends?

Tam: Worse.

Tam: We’re family.

[the-black-bulls]

Finral, after Charmy asks him to teach her how to read: Okay, what's the first letter of the alphabet?

Charmy: C.

Finral: That's the first letter of your name.

Charmy: Oh, it is?

Finral: Yes, but that's not the first letter of the alphabet. You've said it before. Aaaah...

Charmy: Aaaah... I.

Finral: Oh! It's the first letter, well, you wouldn't know that, because you don’t know how to spell.

Charmy: Fucking A, this is tough.

Finral: Oh! You said it!

Charmy: Fucking? A?

Finral: A! A is the first letter of the alphabet.

[tf2incorrectquotes]

Gray Mann: Why don't you stay down and die with dignity?

Scout: We don't do anything with dignity!

[hxuse-xf-black]

Voldemort: Why don't you just lie down and die with dignity?! Harry: I don't do anything with dignity!

[artofapeach]

[emmikay]

(Ed and Al babysitting Elicia)

Al: If someone asks what your name is, you say 'I am Elicia!'.

Elicia: I am Elicia!

Al: See, brother, this is great!

Al: Okay and then if they go 'are you nice?', you say 'yes I'm very sweet’.

Elicia: Yes, I'm very sweet.

Ed: And if they say something you don't like, you say 'go FUCK yourself!'

Elicia: Go FUCK yourself!

[soullessbullshit]

Razum-dar: Happy Bi Visibility Day! Remember, Naryu, we have disadvantage on Stealth rolls today.

Naryu, with Stealth Expertise and Reliable Talent: Oh no. I may have to settle for a 27.

[incorrectquotesfromthelighthouse]

Emmrich: If something happens tonight, I just want to tell you, it's been an honor knowing each and everyone of you. Taash: Screw you, I want my final words with you to be indignant and irritated.

[incorrectdwpquotes]

Andy: What, I can't be in a bad mood? It's like people think, "Oh, Andy is such a nice person, Andy is so happy-go-lucky! Andy can't be in a bad mood!" Andy: Well, you know what? Andy can be in a mood. And right now Andy is in a bad mood.

[nerdasaurus1200]

Aaravos: Why won’t you stay down and die with dignity?

Soren: I don’t do anything with dignity!

[oceanview15]

Bruce: *opens the door and sits in Selina's bathtub while she’s taking a bath*

Selina (unfazed): You're getting weirder.

[ask-runaan-anything]

Ethari: be careful, okay? love you.

Runaan: *mumbling* loveyoutoo

Lain, outside: what if we die while we're out and you never said it again? you should go back in there and tell him how much you love him. Go on in there right now!

Runaan: *opens the door and shouts* I LOVE YOU!!!

Ethari: AAAHH! *sudden clattering*

Runaan: *nodding happily* I feel better, I feel better

Ethari: *high pitched voice* no it's fine I can get those daggers I was etching down out of the ceiling, no problem

[terrorquotestm]

Crozier: So Sophia said no to my proposal… Again…

Jopson: Really!?

Crozier: I mean, I can’t say I’m surprised. Why are you?

Jopson: Captain, I’m pretty sure everyone that meets you is like “yeah, I’d kill for this man.”