#incorrect death eater quotes

[hxuse-xf-black]

16-year-old Tom Riddle: Do you know anything about horcruxes? Specifically, how to create them? Slughorn: Horcruxes? What is this for? Tom Riddle: Fun.

[incorrectbella]

Voldemort: Severus, how long do you estimate this task will take? Snape: By myself? probably around 25 minutes. Voldemort: And if I made Bellatrix and Lucius help? Snape: Oh an hour and a half at least!

[not-rab]

*at a death eater meeting*

Barty: They hate our strategies because we're dating!

Evan: …

Evan: We’re not dating?

Regulus: YOU’RE NOT!?

Barty *getting off Evan’s lap*: We’re not?!

[made-by-moon]

The Marauders era characters as things people in my school said:

"You look like my grandma... and she's dead."- Evan Rosier to Regulus Black

"I've got that ipad kid mindset."- Barty Crouch Jr.

"Born to be a whore, forced to be in a committed relationship."- Sirius Black

"It's just a Nazi egg hatching."- Lily Evans about students with dark marks

"Eat the British."- Remus Lupin, my lovely Welsh representative

"Very much gag but not in a slay way."- Marlene Mckinnon

"So you have dysfunctions? Great, me too."- James Potter, the ADHD king

[abouttimeoc]

[aidens-ocean-galaxy]

Marauders incorrect quotes

Sirius, about Barty: how did he get away?!

James: I let him go. I let him go!

James: because shit got weird, okay?

James: I had him cornered, we were fighting, it was a normal altercation!

James: and then my hand ended up around his throat

James: he looks me dead in my pupils, into my soul, and says “harder”

James: and I’m- I’m looking at him, and I’m like, “excuse me?!”

[hpseeker99]

Hermione: And that's the plan! Hermione: Now let's see who was paying attention. *Kahoot music starts*

[jmwdoesthings]

Lucius: (holding baby Draco) We made this!

Narcissa: ...I believe so.

Lucius: He's an absolute treasure, a thing of perfection, beauty! How was this even possible?

Narcissa:

Lucius: I mean, look at me. I'm a horrible person.

Narcissa:

Lucius: the only good thing about me is genetics, really, and those aren't even mine to begin with. Yet look at this!

(holds up Draco like he's Simba)

Lucius: *tearing up* This is literally an angel, a cherub straight from the heavens! And we made this! This is half me! I can't believe I did this.

Narcissa: Do you know what else you've been doing?

Lucius: what?

Narcissa: Drinking.

[incorrectbellamort]

Bellatrix: Can you keep a secret?

Voldemort: Do you know anything about my life?

Bellatrix: No, I do not. Good point.

[regulusblock]

Regulus, on his hotel room balcony: *sneezes*

Barty, on his room balcony above him: Bless you

Regulus: God????

[that-bitch-kat3]

marauders as shit my friends have said part idk:

marlene about the jr deatheaters: how can you be gay AND racist? pick a struggle!

[hxuse-xf-black]

Assert your dominance by calling your friends by their Social Security number.

8-year-old Regulus Black, probably

[incorrectbella]

Bellatrix: All in all a 100% successful mission. Rodolphus: But, Bella, Severus is missing. Bellatrix: Like I said, all in all, a 100% successful mission. Rodolphus: I don't think Sev would agree. Bellatrix: Well, Snape's not here to argue that point is he? Lucius: Be-Because he's missing.

[rudamaruda520]

Barty: I want you to fuck me. Right here. Right now.

Evan: We're literally in a Death Eaters meeting. Shut up and listen.

Barty: Why don't you stick to the script, huh? When I rehearsed this in my head in the shower last night we were already naked.

[made-by-moon]

The Marauders era characters as things people in my school said:

"He is such a sweet man and I always have to write to him as i murder his family"- Barty Crouch Jr., after becoming a death eater

"I ascend to godhood while blacking out."- Sirius Black

"I may be an academic weapon but you're an academic terror"- Remus Lupin to Lily Evans

"Someone has to pussyfy this land."- Mary MacDonald

"It makes you a bitch and a dick at the same time. It makes you a ditch."- James Potter to Severus Snape

"Snitches get stitches and get no bitches."- James Potter to Sirius Black after the prank

"I'm a skinny legend so I need skinny cigs."- Dorcas Meadowes

"Life of a gangster is not that easy."- Evan Rosier after Barty Crouch Jr. got the shit beat out of him during a fight

[abouttimeoc]