#I should live in a world where being okay is the norm

[sp-growingpains]

A quick reminder for my lovelies doomscrolling, you are okay. You will be okay. We will survive this just as we have many times before. The voice of the people should not be crushed under the weight of the people in power who want to inflict that despair.

It's love that makes us. Whoever holds this seat does not change you. Does not take away the sunrise. It does not take away the tired touch of a lover, no matter what the media may tell you. Your right to love should never be questioned, and I stand with you. I'll carry you if you can't walk right now so that you're here and you can do the same for another.

I wish I had the ability to write something with stronger words, but these come from the heart. This comes from a woman who is so fucking tired of watching their friends live in fear. It comes from a human who loves her fellow man. I truly believe in the good of people. We as humans have something that nothing else in this world has. We have such a beautiful ability to love. To express it and accept it in such a way that no other creature can.

Call me naive for this. Ignore this post if you must. But nothing has ever been achieved by being silent. No lives can be saved and told they're cared for by sitting on the sidelines.

Fight. Struggle. Breathe.

I love you.

[crooked-wasteland]

Do you think songs being diegetic can work if it’s tied to the world building in someway? Maybe something like Centaurworld where the characters literally live in an overly saccharine colorful world where singing and dancing are common things to do?

Tl;Dr: It is not the existence of diegetic songs that make Hazbin a bad musical. It is the lack of non-diegetic music and how it is treated within the story that is the issue.

Based on this question and the reblog of my post, I didn’t convey my point adequately. I had said I was going to expand on this topic more in the essay, but I see that the lack of in depth context resulted in the wrong message being expressed, so please allow me to try again.

First let’s address the reblog:

To answer the question if Steven Universe does the same thing, the simple answer is no. To expand further, diegetic means that someone is literally singing. Non-diegetic is when a musical number is meant to be a figurative representation of emotions, inner thoughts, or events.

For the examples provided, when Jasper tells Sapphire to stop singing, Sapphire is literally singing and it actively plays a role in the story. Sapphire sings to let Ruby know she is okay and sets the groundwork to introduce her into the story in a manner that isn’t jarringly abrupt. That is an appropriate use of diegetic singing: it serves a story/character purpose. Whereas Stronger Than You, Garnet is not literally singing. It is meant as a representation of her feelings about her relationship and her rebellion against Homeworld’s customs on the matter. While we as the audience see her sing, Jasper does not. That is Non-diegetic.

From what I am seeing in both these questions, I failed to convey that competent use of musical theater utilizes both Diegetic and Non-Diegetic music.

In Hazbin and Helluva Boss, ALL songs are diegetic, as in all musical numbers are literally happening in the world. It is meant to be a joke when characters address the singing in the series, but instead it comes off as a mean-spirited, vapid criticism of musical theater as a genre. It also creates a disconnect when the world is designed to not have musical numbers as a norm, but then all the songs are diegetic regardless. In the effort to make all these songs diegetic they fail to delve further into the characters and their inner feelings in a meaningful way and shows a physical discomfort in doing so. Meanwhile, the story has to make excuses that don’t always make sense for these songs to happen.

I briefly touched on this when I mentioned the “Heightened sense of reality.” The example I can best come up with is A Goofy Movie. In A Goofy Movie, the world itself exists in this extremely heightened sense of reality. This is a film where Big Foot is real, cars can float, and Goofy literally survives an explosion unscathed. This is an absurd world that establishes that absurdity in a way where a song like On the Open Road can possibly be non-diegetic, but just as easily be diegetic.

Goofy starts the song by hearing sounds that are part of their world: the engine chugging, the pots and pans rattling, the keys jangling. The music is introduced diegetically, but then escalates to such a degree that it revels in the world that musical theater lends itself to. So when we ask if the song is diegetic or non-diegetic, it doesn’t matter. Because this sort of world building allows for a dead man to crawl out of his coffin to dance on the roof of a hearse in the middle of traffic. That just is the world we are in.

By Hazbin drawing attention to the song numbers being embarrassing, the show has established that we are not in a world where something like A Goofy Movie can take place. There is a sense of decorum that mirrors our own sensibilities in the world building that makes diegetic songs unnatural occurrences. That isn't to say that no character can diegetically sing in this sort of world, but that diegetic singing should be limited to those specific characters. Yet we have background characters singing along and it fails to set up an understanding of where the music is coming from.

Going back to Stronger Than You as a non-diegetic song, there is a different sense of heightened reality that comes from non-diegetic songs being interwoven into a scene. The level of suspension of disbelief that comes with not needing to question whether a song is or is not diegetic because the world has established music as a main component of its reality. Hazbin did the opposite in its effort to make fun of the idea of musicals in the first place and not incorporating music into the characters and their identities.

The issue I was trying to convey has nothing to do with the existence of diegetic songs, but how the world was never designed to support them, and the writers’ discomfort with breaking that boundary to elevate a scene to being partly metaphysical through the use of non-diegetic music.

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And no, Moxxie's Bad Trip does not count as being non-diegetic. While it is taking place in Moxxie's mind, it is not representing anything happening in the story. Instead acting as a wholly different subplot about Blitz and Moxxie's relationship that has not been a part of the story until the Truth Serum was released. And by showing us that Moxxie and Blitz are actually not doing anything except tripping balls, that makes Moxxie's hallucination still diegetic to his reality.

[erabu-san]

You are literally French. What would you know about any of this, an issue and drama stirred up by anericans.

Blackwashing exists and is used by bigots that hate white people. Its used to erase the ethnicity of asians just because people dont think they are "poc enough" because of their pale skin. Its used to demonize people with pale skin because its becoming more and more the norm to view anyone with pale skin as evil. That anyone who is "too pale" isnt enough or a human being.

They arent real people, and their skintones are fine as is. You wouldnt go up to, for example an albino or mixed race black/poc person and tell them they arent "dark enough". They dont even need to be special like that to be pale. Some just are pale.

Whether you think there should be more characters that are dark or not is not the issue. Its that you think they wouldnt be/arent good enough as is with pale skin that shows how much of a bigot you are.

Blackwashing is not the progressive act you think it is. Its obvious that your only experience with it is through genshin drama. You obviously know nothing about how much red haired pale characters & asian ones are substituted with black characters. How characters are simply replaced in the name of "diversity". How this forced inclusivity and diversity is just bigots trying to "get revenge" on the white people they hate so much, and to tick off DEI boxes on their little bigoted checklist.

You tell me to educate myself but its actually YOU who needs to be educated.

Many are complaining about sumeru and natlan characters with names similar to gods in cultures of our world that are pale when their inspiration is dark skinned. Claiming they want representation and for it to be accurate, to reflect our world on a 1-1 scale.

Yet these same people will make xiao, zhongli, Ei, and many more asian characters darker " because asians can be dark skinned too". Yet so can mostly dark skinned races be pale.

So why cant you (gen) respect such characters, who are gods and divine beings based on a culture where pale is more beautiful, and gods of such cultures are pale?

There is hypocrisy in everything to do with blackwashing. Its okay when its done to pale characters because in real life black people have been oppressed? But these characters are not real, nor are they a reflection of our reality, as far as we have seen they dont even have racism in this fictional world.

It is one thing to explore a character like with the recent hatsune miku trend, atleast there most people arent going at each other's throats saying black miku is better than japanese miku(as far as i have seen)

Seriously how can you even begin to justify this. And who ever told you that dark skinned characters "scare white people" is an absolute fucking liar trying to justify their own bigotry towards white people.

No black washing IS just as disgusting as whitewashing. Neither should exist, and you shouldn't feed into the stupid circle jerk of bigotry that both of them are.

Aaaah that's what I like ! Yes ! Thank you for telling me your opinion, explaining what is wrong. I absolutely love to learn, and I prefer to read this long text calling me ignorant and explaining why that just a simple text of you saying you are annoyed by a fanart.

Thank you for telling me ! First yes I am french, and indeed my culture has more an european pov. But again, I also grow up as a minority "race" with my parents culture !🙏 in france, i don't look like a french. Well. Still I am aware that it doesn't remove anything from what I said

And I totally agree with you, some are just pale !! It just happens I draw Kinich black because I like it like this. Is Kinich true inspiration are actually pale ? Tell me more, I wish to learn !!

Tbh when you talk abt gods being pale is beautiful, I thought about Nahida. I did research when she were out and yes, I do agree, there is character who are fine as they are.

And because I live in France I also see "dark skin scare white" as a true fact. It happens and it is harmful. 🧍 not only in France tho, in country where pale skin is portrayed as beautiful, people who have tan skin are less represented even if it is the majority. I suppose the contrary happens too !!

"Character are not real" and yet you are annoyed, I guess it is the action of "blackwash" that make you mad, more than "a fictional character w diffent skin tone" tho! My opinion is fiction does affect real world, as do real life affects fiction, and this is something I won't debate on

"They don't have racism in this fictional world" sorry but it does in Sumeru. 🙏 about this one npc she is reject by forest and desert because of them being mixed, desert not being access to book and even Cyno said his scholarship was complicated because he is from desert

If you wish to continue, please send me DM with arguments. I don't know if I would change my mind of not drawing Kinich pale, but I am super interested about what you have to say !! 👍👍

[qpp-townie]

I think part of what people struggle with when hearing a term like Queerplatonic Relationship is that it doesn’t fit into one of the boxes they already have set up for how the world works and so rather than make room for it, they try to shove it where it doesn’t belong or argue that it actually shouldn’t exist.

It is a term trying to convey information. It is not a trick or delusion or oversight on my part.

If I introduce you to someone and say ‘we are in a relationship’ most people (in the US at least) will default to thinking that means a romantic relationship which involved dating and now being a monogamous couple with sex, seeking marriage. Maybe not with that much detail, but that one word CAN carry a lot of implications that some would like to avoid from the start.

So i’d rather say ‘we are in a queer platonic relationship’ because that immediately tells you more information. It is a queer relationship and it is based on more platonic feelings (which doesn’t mean it is entirely platonic, but that’s an important part of it). It also tells you that these people have talked about their relationship and agree on this label, which should just NEVER be up for debate. If someone asks your opinion on a label that’s different, but same way you don’t get to decide who is queer or tell others what their feelings are, we are calling ourselves this for a reason.

But here’s the thing, saying that we are a QPR does not tell you the whole story! Same way saying you are dating, together with, married to, etc. someone, does not give you the full context of a relationship! Someone can say they are married, but later specify it is an asexual romantic relationship. Someone can say they dating and that can mean they are exclusive or seeking other partners. There are similar things qprs “typically” exhibit (but don’t have to), like closeness, living together, and no expectations of having to woo or romance the other person. But it is a broad term meant to encapsulate many types of relationships that fall outside the norm of building a nuclear family and amatonormative (romantic love is the most important kind of love) societal standards (which is not a universal standard for human relations, if there is a word in a different language/culture that fits better then that is of course okay!)

And I hope this can be a lesson about interacting with queer people/ people different from you in general, but rather than saying ‘that sounds like this thing/ that sounds fake/ I don’t want to call it that cause I’m used to this other thing/ i’m used to these boxes and just going to put you in one based on what you said’ just say:

‘cool! I’m not familiar with that, can you explain more?’ or even just ‘okay!’

[theblackfemininesociety]

Why 'Hoe Culture' is a Detriment to Our Society, Particularly the Black Community.

Hey Besties,

Welcome to The Black Feminine Society! We pride ourselves on creating a safe space for Black Women to heal, grow, and embrace their femininity. Our mission goes beyond just creating a supportive environment. We believe it is our duty to have open and honest discussions about the challenges that can be detrimental to our culture, while also shining a light on the right paths for Black women to take.

At The Black Feminine Society, we are committed to holding ourselves and each other accountable. Our goal is not to tear down another Black woman, but rather to empower and uplift one another. We firmly believe that by addressing the issues within our community, we can drive positive change for the greater good.

So let's talk about it…

As 'Hoe Culture' is gaining increasing momentum, particularly within the Black community. It is a matter of grave concern that such a culture is being propagated, especially considering its adverse impacts on the perception of Black women and young girls.

The music industry, a formidable influencer of society, plays a significant role in this degradation. Many lyrics and music videos often depict women as objects of desire, thereby demeaning their worth. This portrayal of Black women is not only disrespectful but also aids in perpetuating stereotypes that have haunted the community for centuries.

The lack of genuinely empowering role models for young girls is distressing. Our society seems to drown out voices that advocate for respect and dignity, while those who succumb to the pressures of being overly sexualized for relevance are amplified. It is heartbreaking to witness the precious innocence of young minds being corrupted by such destructive ideologies.

The propagation of 'Hoe Culture' also distorts the perception of what healthy relationships should look like. It fuels lust over love, leading to superficial connections devoid of real affection or respect. This is not what relationships should represent. Relationships should be about mutual respect, understanding, and love, not superficial attractions.

Also, the media tends to glamorize 'Hoe Culture', conveniently ignoring the trauma associated with it. It is not all fun and games, as they would have us believe. The reality is much harsher, filled with emotional turmoil and personal distress.

This brings us to the concept of trauma bonding, a situation where individuals develop a strong emotional attachment to those who hurt them. It is a cycle of abuse and reconciliation that can lead to severe psychological effects, including low self-esteem and chronic mental health issues.

In the world of social media, especially on platforms like Instagram, young girls often feel pressured to participate in 'Hoe Culture', fearing that they might be ostracized otherwise. Behind the glamorous pictures and seemingly perfect lives of IG models lies a sad reality of mistreatment and deception. It is vital to remember that these are curated images, not reflecting the reality of their lives.

Before I conclude, I want to leave you with a motivating message:

To all the beautiful Black women out there, remember that you are so much more than what society tries to label you as. You are strong, beautiful, and worthy. Your body is your temple, a sacred sanctuary that deserves respect and honor. Protect your heart, keep it exclusive for those who genuinely deserve it. There is no rush to fit into societal norms; remember, it's okay to be selective. Your worth is not defined by the number of likes or followers, but by the strength of your character and the depth of your spirit. Be proud of who you are and never let anyone dim your light.

[nancywheeeler]

‘Eddie Munson should have died at the hands of the government instead of the Upside Down’ please expound on this your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

okay, i am finally gonna release from the vault a text post i had drafted months ago about how reductive and bland i find eddie munson's "heroism" arc.

from a characterization standpoint, i totally understand why eddie declares himself a coward for running after witnessing chrissy (and later, patrick) die. his image of himself as a proud outcast willing to brandish a middle finger at societal norms, bolstered by playing a "satanic" game about misfits coming together to bravely face great evils, is completely shattered. however, from our viewpoint as an audience, eddie does what just about any of us would have done after watching someone die in a horrific, unexplainable manner and not knowing if what happened to them is about to happen to us.

...except the show then does this weird thing where it agrees with eddie's warped, guilty view of his actions. eddie is a coward for running. he should have...what? stayed, again not knowing if he would be killed next, tried to explain everything to hawkins pd, and gotten arrested? (which would have derailed the rest of the hawkins plot because, unless dustin & company staged a jailbreak, eddie then would have been in custody during fred and patrick's murders.) the plot demands he run, but to wring any sort of emotional catharsis out of his death, the writers want us to think "look! he's redeemed himself! this time he ran into the danger!" it equates self-preservation with selfishness and cowardice, which certainly isn't a new thing in media but it's boring and doesn't reflect reality.

and when you parallel eddie's death with billy's (and what i imagine steve's death would have been had they gone through with killing him in season one), it paints this uncomfortable picture that redemption can only be found through extreme self-sacrifice and ultimately death. boring! very boring! and again, why are we redeeming a character who doesn't need redemption?

i appreciate (and really like actually!) that the narrative dooms eddie from the beginning. there wouldn't have been a satisfying way to write him out of a triple homicide rap had he lived. that being said, i would have loved to see eddie survive the upside down, get arrested for the murders, and, while our intrepid heroes are expecting owens and his shadowy government contacts to swoop in, be killed by those same shadowy government contacts as a cover-up.

because that is all owens has been doing for the past three seasons: covering things up to save a fringe organization's ass. it's just been convenient for our gang that the cover-ups align with their interests, too, to the point they are over-reliant on owens stepping in with forged birth certificates and mall fires. only, in season four's case, eddie is the most convenient cover story. with owens left for dead in a bunker in the middle of the desert, what loyalty does the rest of this strange government operation have to the gang and to eddie that they would exert any additional effort concocting a more outlandish story than the easy one the town of hawkins has already bought into?

it would have been a great way to add additional stakes going into season five because the gang would have had absolutely no one to rely on or trust but themselves. no more clean-up crew to plant fake stories and file the paperwork. the government has never actually been on their side. it's hawkins against the upside down and the world, baby.

wow, this is so long and i am so sorry. i still have a lot of feelings about this apparently, even after all this time.

[electronsprotonscroutons]

Surprised I haven’t seen anyone here posting about the Marubo tribe being given internet access via Musk’s nasty Skylink satellites. Tragic and absolutely fascinating, this remote tribe (and many others) have been carelessly and non-consensually thrown into the waters of modernity. What will come of their oral traditions? This just shows a complete disregard for the importance of language’s link to a culture’s prosperity.

I can’t find an article that says anything other than, “they’re all addicted to porn now.” So here’s some important bullet points that have nothing to do with these allegations:

People are falling for online scams and struggling to discern what information about the world is real.

Internet access has divided the tribe. Young people want to leave, travel the world. One wants to be a dentist in Sāo Paulo.

Okay sure, here’s the one pornography bullet point that is interesting: this is a culture where being public about sexuality is not the norm, and access to pornography is changing that.

The tribe has held meetings discussing whether they should ban internet access entirely, with the verdict being that the tribe could no longer "live without internet."

Co-ordination between villages has been made easier and medical assistance is more readily accessible.

[under-loch-n-key]

Not fanart today everyone, sorry. I will be uploading some within the week though!

I just need to vent and rant a bit.

I was feeling a bit rough today & made a venting self portrait piece for Pride Month. I've been out as trans for four years this November (26th of November) I’ve been on T three months and four days. I love who I am and my identity and wouldn’t change a thing, but sometimes I’m so tired.

I just want to love who I want to love. I want to wear what I want to wear without thinking “could this outfit that I wear today get me killed or harassed because it’s not in the norm?” I get fed up with having to conform to cisgender and heterosexual norms out of fear. I want to wear a dress and other pretty stuff again. I am cis passing so I’m privileged. I was cis passing before even starting T because I have naturally high T. So, me wearing feminine stuff scares me because I don’t want to get harassed for it. I have developed internalised toxic masculinity because of it. If I dye my hair I “may look gay” or “would people be able to tell I’m trans?” When in reality, I LOVE being queer, I LOVE being trans. It’s just hard. Being me is hard.

If I were to change my gender marker where I am, and if I were to get ovarian cancer and be in need of a hysterectomy, it wouldn’t be covered by insurance here because I am a man.

I am entitled to love, freedom, healthcare, happiness, marriage, not being turned away by businesses, or by churches/places that are meant to help all and help the community. I and everyone in this world is entitled to love, comfort, and living happily.

We have lost so many LGBTQIA+ people from this bigotry and hatred. It only seems to have spiralled even further since the pandemic or maybe because I came out in 2020 I’m just paying attention more…There’s people dead who should still be alive enjoying their favourite foods, drinks, films, etc. The people who bitch about how we are harming children, they’re “doing this for the children”, well guess what, every time you introduce more bigotry, you are killing a child. Not helping one. So, you can take the “help for the children” and shove it up your arse.

I sobbed tonite in my restroom because Nex Benedict and Brianna Ghey came into my head. They were so young and they are DEAD and for what? Because some fucking assholes just couldn’t handle the fact that LGBTQIA+ exist.

I’m TERRIFIED of dating people. Especially (cis) men because my brain goes to “Okay, is this person really interested in me or am I a fetish to them?” “If I go on a date with this guy tonite, will I come home later?” “What if he’s just trying to lure me somewhere and hurt me?”

THESE THOUGHTS SHOULD NOT BE NORMAL. I AM NOT A FETISH. I AM NOT A KINK. I AM NOT PROPERTY. I’M A HUMAN BEING.

Why can’t I just be human?

Why is it every time in the media there’s a criminal case and that person may or may not be gay, trans, or both, they hardly focus on the act itself but only on the fact that they were gay or transgender.

I am just SO fed up. Living in the states right now is a nightmare. I acknowledge that I’m privileged in ways that not many people have. I am in a blue state (for now), my mother is supportive, I have access to HRT and medical needs, I am white, I pass as a man. I am extremely privileged in those rights. I will never be able to even imagine how our gay and trans people of colour are treated. My heart breaks for them.

How many more of us is it going to take until we’re seen as people?

We’re not ped0phil3s, we’re not gr00mers, we aren’t out to harm your children, we didn’t steal a fucking rainbow from The Father Over Yonder, we aren’t working for Lucifer & if we are, I haven’t gotten my fucking pay cheque, we aren’t taking away healthcare from women, we aren’t taking over sports, etc. I could go on & on & on about this.

I can’t change who I am. Ironically, I loved being a woman. I loved my hair, my dresses, my makeup, my jewellery, the way some guys looked at me, I loved me. Although, something didn’t fit. I loved being a woman but something wasn’t right. I dressed goth, and then when I got home I dressed masculine. Even then, something didn’t click.

Then one day I was in middle school and I saw this girl named Maddy in my class. She was joking with a few of the boys in our class. She put her hair in her hat and made herself look like a boy and all the boys went “Woah! You really do look like a boy” and I was like “Huh, I wanna try that.”

So, I went home that day and messed around with it for a bit. Something felt better in me. I couldn’t explain it because I didn’t know what being trans was or what it meant. I went out like that any chance I could, unless I was around a boy or any preppy girls because I didn’t wanna get made fun of.

Eventually, one time in the store when I was walking away with my cousin from the register (still cis and in denial. Still an egg) the man at the register went “Have a good day, boys!” and we looked at each other and started laughing. Like omg, they called me a boy but I’m not a boy, right? It felt good & right.

You see, it wasn’t the dysphoria that made me figure out I was trans but the euphoria I felt from being called a man.

We have this heavy focus on the dysphoria (which I completely understand for people) but people forget about the euphoria too. I felt like something finally clicked but I couldn’t explain it.

That was until I started getting flooded with Trans TikToks and JammiDodger in my YouTube FYP and I was like “Haha, this is me. Wait-“

I didn’t realise I was trans until about 2020. Before I came out, (Oh, god, help me.. idk what egg me was thinking. I was so obvious..)I asked my mother while we were pulling into Walmart if I could get a binder and she’s like “What’s that?” and I said “Oh, to keep my chest flat. Since you know I love acting. So, do you think I could get one for when I play male roles? That way people couldn’t see that I’m a girl? Since you know I’m a girl who wants to play a male role.”

“Hmm, well sure, we can definitely do that. We’ll just have to see what I have to work with.” I was like hell yeah! I didn’t technically come out to my mother while I was in high school. She sorta just found out because she noticed everyone called me by my first trans name that I picked out and I was like “Uh- IT’S A NICKNAME BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A CERTAIN ANIME CHARACTER WITH THE SAME NAME-“ I literally panicked.

Eventually, I kinda became like THE trans guy at my academy and since she was my English teacher, she found out through the words going around the school. It took her a while but she made it. We went and got the big chop. My hair was about three feet to four feet long and now it’s in the same style as Tony Stark’s hair or maybe even Shawn Spencer’s. Just that category of hair style. Lol. It’s very short now. I remember when she let me borrow her phone and I saw she changed my phone contact from my deadname to my old trans name. I took a picture of that and I still have it.

My name has since changed and I don’t have the same trans name I started out with. She’s still trying to switch over to using Anthony. She’s better than she used to be. I don’t mind being called by my old trans name per se but I just wish my name currently would be used more if that makes sense.

My mother is fully supportive of me now and we even got a pride cake a few days after my birthday (17th of June) because some dipshit at a store a town over threw a fit and destroyed a baker’s Pride cakes. Yeah, call US the snowflakes and yet you throw a fit about a rainbow on a cake? Yeah, okay. Lol. We got it from my mum’s friend who was giving pride cakes away to queer families after she found out about the incident.

Knowing that I have such supportive people means the world to me, but I know in some places that I go in the world, they won’t always be there to protect me. So, with that I’ve had to keep my guard up and protect myself.

I hope one day society will get to a place where we view everyone as people and that we’re all human. The LGBTQIA+ people we’ve lost will never be forgotten and we’ll always say their names. Please research our queer history. We could all learn stuff from each other.

If you’re ever feeling like your existence means nothing and that the world would be better off without you because of who you are, you are wrong. Your death isn’t something that just happens to you, it happens to everyone around you too. You would be missed because you’re loved and cherished. Knowing that you are also apart of this community with me, already makes me happy that you exist because we need more LGBTQIA+ voices. Our light and colours burn and shine brighter together so please do not go anywhere.

Thank you for existence. I love you. I’m proud of you for coming this far and we’ll go even further. We just have to make it through today. One day at a time. Everything will be okay and everything will turn out the way it’s supposed to.

If ANY of you are in need of immediate help please seek out The Trevor Project. They offer immediate help. It’s completely free and you can either text or call. I’ll leave a link for you below.

If you’ve made it to the end of this HUGE vent/rant, I’ll be sure to fluff some pillows for your eyes and get them some nice blankets because they must be tired as hell after reading this.

If you could reblog this so other LGBTQIA+ people who feel sad this pride could feel seen or just wanna reblog it for pride, please do!

If anyone can reblog this too with any other stories about their queer & trans experience or any other helpful info for LGBTQIA+ people & youth, that would also be really helpful!!

You are always safe on my blog. 💛⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸🇸🇩🇨🇩

We can all benefit from helping each other, so also if you are able - please donate and help Operation Olive Branch for the people of Palestine, Sudan, and Congo! Remember, no one is free until we’re all free!! So, I’ll leave the link to their link tree here -

Link to Trevor Project here! They provide a lot of good info if you wanna research stuff too! -

[caroliimeh]

[Long post]

Being trans is so cool and fun and rewarding and I wouldn’t live my life any other way. There’s something inherently beautiful about crafting your own identity; about rejecting societal norms and prejudices and blazing your own path forward through this fucked up world we live in. I was raised religious; my dad is a pastor. I was always told that God makes no mistakes and that I should be content with the way I was created. But if there is a God, I like to think that they gave us free will for a reason - so that we as humans can share in the act of creation.

I’ve known I was a girl as long as I can remember. Up until a few years ago, I was too terrified to tell anyone. I’m so glad that I did. It was never a decision about whether or not I was a girl. It was a decision I made to accept what I knew about myself and begin to participate in the divine act of creation.

I’m happier now than I have ever been in my life. It’s not easy being trans, especially in the current social and political climate. Trans people are constantly being demonized, stigmatized, and bullied by so many in positions of authority. Every day the news shows a new story about how trans women are either biologically advantaged or confused men; or how the worst thing an AFAB person can do is cut off their boobs and “pretend “ to be a man. Not a day goes by where I don’t feel targeted or threatened; either by awful people on the internet, by people’s nasty looks at me just for existing around them, or from the government trying to make me illegal. That being said, it’s still infinitely better to endure all of that than to try and live as a man.

Being trans is awesome. Every morning I wake up and I feel lucky that I get to live this life. If I could go back and tell five-year-old me anything, I’d tell that frightened little girl that life does get better. That it’s okay to be scared, but it’s better to speak out and make her voice heard. That trying on Mom’s high heels and makeup in the bathroom with the door locked wasn’t a thing that most boys did. That, yes, being a girl is actually an option. It would have saved me so much trouble later on.

Being trans saved my life. It has saved many other lives throughout the span of history and it will continue to do so for as long as we as humans exist. To any trans people reading this: You are beautiful. You are validated. Your existence is not a burden on anyone who truly matters. Your story is not over. It is of the utmost importance that we do not lose hope in the face of prejudice and malice; instead, we must all support each other through times like these.

The poet Andrea Gibson once said, “I suppose I love this life, in spite of my clenched fist.” My hope for anyone who sees this post is that you will love your own life; and that you also will not be afraid, like I once was, to clench your fist in spite of the world. Exist unapologetically. Spread love. Everything will get better, I promise you. You are not alone in this.

[alpaca-clouds]

Why I hate the concept of player-sexual characters

Okay, you know what? Let me talk about this. Because it really irks me. Like, it really irks me. I cannot express how much it irks me, to be honest.

I love BG3. And BG3 is doing a lot of stuff right when it comes to queer representation. Not so much in regards to any other form of representation (How is it that there is only one none-white character among your teammates? Why is there literally no body diversity at all? Why is there no fucking combat wheelchair?), but on terms of queer rep the game is doing very good. I mean, literally, most canonical relationships you interact with are queer. You meet a lot more happy queer couples than happy straight couples. Which is nice. And while I could've done with maybe one canonical trans character, you can at least play your player character as trans, which is fucking nice. So yeah, we are getting there.

But for heaven's sake, I will never, ever see player-sexual characters as bi/pan representation. Because they are not. Their universal sexual attraction serves not to define them as characters in their identity, but just for the player to fulfill their own power fantasy in whatever way the player desires. The fact that the characters do not care about what gender the player character has, is not really tied to the character or their story.

Which is why I like it so much more the way that Bioware did it with Dragon Age: Inquisition and some of the later Mass Effect games (is this true for Starfield as well? I have no idea). Where the characters do have a canon sexuality that influences who you can romance and who you cannot romance.

Like, I am in general not a big fan of the Dragon Age games, with the exception of Inquisition, because boy, I got invested into those characters and part of the reason is this. Like, holy hell, I cannot explain to you how invested I got into Dorian and his entire story. Like, back then I was still in egg-mode and I played the game with a female character - but I then did a second playthrough with a male PC just so I could romance Dorian.

Their sexuality is tied to who they are as people.

And sure, yeah, fine. Basically BG3 goes about sexuality in the way of: "The world does not care about it, so neither should you." Like, there is so many queer couples, some have kids that might be their biological kids, because magic, I guess, and nobody really bats an eye. So, I guess something like with Dorian, where part of his story was dealing with a homophobic dad would not happen here. Still, you know, with their supposed bisexuality not playing any role at all, it feels... hollow.

Because it does really feel like this part of them only exists for the player - not as part of their characterization. And I would feel a lot better about it, if it was.

I think it feels partly so offensive to me, because I am a bisexual trans dude and lived as a bi woman for so long. And as that my bisexuality has often been seen by men as something that they can consume in one way or another to act out their personal fantasies. So, player-sexuality/bisexuality in games being used for the player to act out that kinda fantasy feels... wrong.

How could Larian have done it or do it in future games? Well, pretty simple.

Bring in former relationships of different genders, let the characters comment on finding other characters (both in your party and out of it) attractive, allow the non-romanced characters to hook up together or hook up with other NPCs. Make their sexuality part of their story.

I totally would be fine with the characters all being bisexual. Sure, its a bit boring, but I also totally could buy into "in this world bisexuality/pansexuality is the norm" as part of the worldbuilding. But then show it through their interactions outside of being willing/able to hook up with the player character.

Though admittedly, this is in general one of my biggest issue with the writing on the game: Rather than having the characters talk with each other about stuff (outside of the idle banter in your party), they talk to the player character about how they feel about each other. You know, I have seen a lot of comments about how the ending feels unrewarding because apparently (I am closing in on the ending, but I am not quite there yet) after everything is said and done everybody just goes their own way, not acknowledging each other at all. But I think it is a problem in general.

Like, I get that each scene in which the characters interact more significantly than awkwardly standing in front of each other is a ton of work, because you gotta motion capture it - and also rendering it on the system make the workload on the hardware you are using a lot bigger... But it definitely would help the characterization.

To come back to Dragon Age: Inquisition (look, it is the one game I played that worked a lot with this), I had a general feeling for how the other characters related to each other, like, what their relationships were like. I knew how Cassandra felt about Solas and Varric. Or Sera about Cole. Sure, not all character relations were as well defined, but there was a lot happening there. Which here... I mean, I know how Shadowheart and Lae'zel see each other and how that evolves over time. I know how Karlach and Wyll feel about each other. But for example, there is never a scene where Karlach and Astarion argue with each other, even though they are moral-wise fundamentally opposed and probably would argue. Like, when you learn about the ritual and Astarion goes like "I totally should do it!", none of the other characters has an opinion on him planning that, let alone confronts him about it. Or where Gale gets annoyed with Karlach's approach to solving problems by just beating her axe at the problem. Or, like, Halsin and Janeira hanging out with each other, talking about druid stuff. Because outside of single cutscenes and the idle banter, the characters just do not interact a whole lot.

And I think that is a shame. Because they are already fun, engaging characters. But they totally would be more fun and engaging if they had a life outside of their backstory and their relationship to the player character. (And mind you, if you play an Origin playsthrough this does not change, because whatever character you play, still is the player character.)

Allow them friendships and romances outside of the player character. And be it just by having them awkwardly stand together and talk in front of the same tent at camp from time to time. lol

When you have that, their sexuality also would feel real - and not just like a device to propell the player's power fantasy.

Also, for fucks sake, just give us some aroace characters. Q-Q

[fandomscraziness22]

Lockwood and Co fics

put a little love in it

And as time passed, Lucy realized she had found it again, that elusive thing she had with her team back home.

A home; love and respect. Trust.

Safety. * just a few fluff snippets from the lives of Lucy, Lockwood, George, and Holly

my sanctuary (you’re holy to me)

Lucy Carlyle wakes up slowly, aware of a warm weight and soft breathing next to her. She smiles into the morning, remembering where she is and who she is with.

Lockwood is still sleeping, and in the few minutes it takes Lucy to come to full alertness, he doesn’t stir. She revels in this rarity, of being the first awake—usually Lockwood is up with the sun and already has breakfast started (if George isn’t cooking) or tea at the ready.

So Lucy takes the chance to just look at the boy sleeping next to her. * soft morning snuggles and Lockwood sharing a small piece of his past

silence and support

She doesn’t, but that’s not the point. “Then what is going on?” Lockwood stands and brings his breakfast dishes to the sink, adding to the barely-touched pile. They really do need to buck up and do them. “Sometimes, George just gets like this,” he says. “Doesn’t talk for a day or two. Leaves more notes on the thinking cloth than normal. I just let him be, and he’s fine.” Lucy’s face crinkles. “George…doesn’t talk? George, like our George?”

sometimes george goes quiet. lucy is determined to find out why

you’re talking to a ghost (i’m right here listening)

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, you think. And then, He’s all I have left. So you go to him. You hold him, and he holds you—the little six-year-old who shouldn’t have to bear this. Who should be in his mother’s arms, who should be tussling in the backyard with his father. As he cries, full of understanding, so wise for such a small person, your resolve hardens. It’s up to you now.

or, Jessica watches Lockwood through the years

but the wolves came and went (and we’re still standing)

“Which agency are you from?” he asks, speaking into Lucy’s face, though he’s asking both of them.

Lockwood spends a moment too long trying to think up an answer, and it’s a moment he will never get back.

or, lucy gets pulled into the winkman's grasp a little bit earlier, and lockwood is forced to watch. canon divergent from ep 5

so lift your head, it ain’t over yet

And memories flooded in. A park, green grass, her legs aching, her back stinging. A boy, being bullied. Rescuing him. Pizza and chatter and smiles. Her getaway, and his lingering concern as she turned and ran.

Lucy’s eyes widened. “It was you!”

George and Lockwood looked at her quizzically, but she pointed a small finger at George and repeated softly, “It was you.”

will i stay numb or regain love?

Maybe that’s why he’s not expecting the lethargy, the way nothing seems to hold his attention for long, the thoughts that drag him into the mental stupor that used to be the norm before his friends moved into his house (and into his heart). He wasn’t expecting it, so it creeps over him with startling speed.

And yet, he doesn't want to pull himself out. Lockwood lets it sink in, settle into his very bones and the creases of his mind. He slouches in his chair in the living room, eyes blurring as he stares into the fire.

through the fog there is hope in the distance

“Luce? Lucy?” Lockwood says as they descend the stairs. “Everything okay?”

Everything is obviously not okay when George almost runs into Lockwood, who has stopped short on the last stair. His friend is tense and unmoving, even when George nudges him a bit to try and get him to step down fully into the basement.

George shoves around Lockwood and finally sees Lucy laying on the floor, her arms and legs straight, as if she has laid down to take a nap. With a muttered “Shit,” George races forward to the girl.

or, that scene from the end of ep 3 George pov

the world is spinning but only in grey

“Luce?” Lockwood says, a finger coming to his mouth in consternation. She only left a few minutes ago.

Lucy doesn’t answer again. Lockwood looks to George, who’s also concerned. They stand in tandem and make their way to the basement stairs.

“Luce? Lucy?” Lockwood calls again as he walks down the swirling staircase, George right behind him. “Everything okay?”

What greets them is Lockwood’s worst nightmare come to life. Lucy lays on her back, dead still, as if she had fallen asleep on the cold floor of the basement.

or, that scene from the end of ep 3 SPOILERS FOR LOCKWOOD'S BACKSTORY

it’s like this heart is defenseless

Lucy Carlyle. His associate; his Listener. The girl he lives with and works with. The girl he’s fallen in love with, which he’s finally ready to admit to himself after nearly losing her at Aickmere’s (though it’s been true since he first met her).

She’s his soulmate.

And she’s lying to him.

SPOILERS FOR THE HOLLOW BOY

i would die for you (darling if you want me to)

He’s not really friends with anyone other than George, because he knows the heartbreak that comes with letting people in, and Lockwood’s not really interested in that, thanks very much. So when Barnes reads out the name, it catches Lockwood off-guard, knocking the air straight from his chest. “Lucy Carlyle.” Of course it had to be her.

or, a hunger games au because that one tumblr post was incredible written for Locklyle Week day 7: AU

sinners don’t breathe

Lucy pulls him backward into the lift, and the door slides closed, cutting off his line of sight. Lockwood can’t feel anything except the corner of the small room, where he stands on shaky legs. His chest is tight, and he can’t take a deep breath, and his tie is strangling him. Lockwood reaches up to loosen it, numb fingers fumbling at it.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. He thought he was done with all that, with people caring about him and dying for him. He wasn’t supposed to let anyone else get hurt on his behalf.

or, that panic attack scene in ep 7 (for l&coaw day 2)

you’re on your own, kid

Lucy, Lockwood and George all on their own, before they meet

written for Lockwood and Co Appreciation Week day 1: favorite character

love came crashing in

But she trusts Lockwood, as wild as it sounds, so she doesn’t protest. Lockwood’s eyes search hers quickly. “Just don’t punch me till we get out of here, alright?” Lucy’s face crinkles in confusion, but before she can get out a word, Lockwood’s lips are on hers.

or, Lucy and Lockwood are stealing a document but almost get caught

[bunchacrunchcake]

Why does sexuality have to suck so much.

There's so much morality and gender roles tied around it. And this weird element of game theory.

Men are expected to ask women out. Women are expected to give signals to men. Women do this because Men can be really scary. Men follow women home. They say sexual things to women that have already said they're married. This is the tamer side of how horrible and scary men can be. Also, because men have to ask women out, they are constantly doing it, and it really makes women want to engage with that even less. However on the flip side, women are human and still do want romantic partners. So if someone they're interested in is flirting with them in a way they like, it's a good thing.

It's this interaction that sucks. It's so confusing. You can almost never know if your advances are wanted or not. For every time where you're 100% sure the other person is flirting, there's like 10 similar times where they're not. And vice versa. There are so many times where you leave a situation and you're like oh my god they were giving the biggest signals!

This is why, as a kink friendly person I really prefer direct communication. No it's NOT romantic. It can be, but it takes some finesse to make direct communication flirty. And it's only as awkward as you make it. "Hi, I think you are attractive. I would like to go on a date if you're free." "Yes/no."

But it never actually works like that. The worst part is the look on someones face like "Oh my god gross is this person asking me out right now." And then the humiliation when they say no. There are so so many times where it can be cordial and you say oh well no problem it was nice meeting you! I hope the rest of your day is great. And then you leave. And it's not a big deal. But you can literally talk to two people in almost the same way and one will be flattered but not interested. And another will be horrified, disgusted, and or embarrassed.

Do I like asking people out? No it's a chore. It's embarrassing and people are embarrassed for you when they watch you do it. It also makes things super awkward. Like if you're convinced someone you know or interact with is interested in you and you ask them out, and they rebuke you, chances are, even if you don't feel awkward about it, they do, and it's "ruined things." Your workplace will be awkward. Or you can't go back to that store. Or whatever. Even if the interaction was legitimately "Hey are you flirting with me by any chance?" "No I am not." "Oh okay, no sweat, I couldn't tell."

I'm reasonably attractive and no one asks me out. It has literally happened to me two times. I remember them. I'm not feeling entitled to a galactic shift in social norms. It's just how things are.

And yes we can all get on dating apps. If I want to pay $20/month per app for enough swipes to get a few dates on a piece of software that is explicitly designed to addict me and lower my self esteem, sure. I can do that.

It just sucks. I don't know what else to say.

It sucks that we can't live in a world where if someone thinks you're cute there's a non invasive way to do it, that is explicit so both people are like yep/nope that happened, and that the aftermath of that really simple interaction isn't HOLY FUCK I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE DONE THIS.

It's fine if you don't want to date people you aren't attracted to! It's fine if you need to set boundaries with people who are being gross, scary, stalkery!

But like ugh. Hot men can honestly be really gross to women sometimes and it's welcomed. And non attractive men (to that woman) can be really normal and neutral and it's "gross and embarrassing".

I guess as an AMAB person, we should really work hard to unlearn a lot of toxic masculinity, teach consent, and learn how to be respectful and polite when engaging with people romantically. But like, it goes two directions. Please don't treat us like we're disgusting. Or at least start asking us out so we don't have to do all the heavy lifting. I'm really freaking tired of trying to figure out whether someone is giving out enough romantic signals that I should then go for the coin flip of asking them out that might result in them hating me forever.

I don't even know. Do I expect all 8 billion people on Earth to magically emotionally mature over night? No. I just want to rant about this so I can move on with my life and stop judging myself for other people's negative reactions to me when I'm doing my best to be a good person.

[nature-tapes-daily]

Mayfield and Belov presents: Camp Here & There.

Episode Five: The Reversal of Norms

[CLICK]

[DING]

JEDIDIAH

Sydney, please don’t make me do this, you know I’m going to suck, dude, please —

SYDNEY

Oh, yes, I can just let you do things today the way you always do. It’s not like the government will have our heads if we don’t abide by the principles of Opposite Day!

JEDIDIAH

AGH! It’s like sarcasm but worse!

SYDNEY

Listen, Jedidiah, I don’t like this either.

JEDIDIAH

So that means you love it, right? You’re saying you’re relishing my pain? Since it’s opposite day and all?

SYDNEY

I’m not implying that in the slightest. 🙂

JEDIDIAH

Hnngh. Will you stop being so cryptic if I do the morning announcements?

SYDNEY

Oh, yes, Jedidiah. I absolutely will. 🙂

JEDIDIAH

Right. Fine. Ugh. Okay. I… Okay. God. I have to… opposite-ify this. God, this is a miserable world we live in. Okay. Okay. Here goes.

Good morning, campers! The sun is… uhh, low in the ground… and the sky is, like… blue. And, uhh… the inexorable march of time, or whatever? Or… not that? Okay, I’m sorry, I need help. Sydney? Sydney, I need help.

SYDNEY

But you were doing such a good job!

JEDIDIAH

Can you break character for one minute!

SYDNEY

Of course. I’m a criminal who is perfectly willing to flaunt the rules of Opposite Day.

JEDIDIAH

Please. A minute out of this whole stupid day is all I ask.

SYDNEY

[SIGHS] Okay.

[HE PICKS UP A TIMER AND TURNS THE DIAL]

[TICKING]

One minute for you. Because I love you.

JEDIDIAH

That’s not Opposite Day sarcasm, right?

SYDNEY

No, Jeddie, I sincerely do love you.

JEDIDIAH

Right. Okay. Listen, I get that it’s Opposite Day, so I’m supposed to say and do the opposite of whatever — is normal, but how granular am I meant to get about that? Can I even mention the sun, or should I call it the moon instead? Do I call the ground the sky? And since I’m doing the announcements instead of you, am I supposed to act like you, or like, like the opposite of how you do it? Or just the opposite of myself? You’re a pretty good approximation of the opposite of me, is the problem, so my options feel strictly binary and wholly incorrect. How-How does this come so easily to you? I can’t… I can’t figure this whole thing out. Why do we care? Like, yeah, Opposite Day is a [Stutters] government mandated thing, but is anyone from the government listening in on us? Or would anyone here report us to the government? Lucille is the only one around here with any sort of cellular communication technology, and she’s sure as hell not participating in… any of this stuff —

[THE TIMER RINGS]

SYDNEY

Well, would you look at that! Looks like your minute is not over.

JEDIDIAH

[STRAINED SOUND OF DISTRESS]

I got no answers at all!

SYDNEY

Jedidiah, don’t let me not ask you something. Would you normally be peppering me with all these questions?

JEDIDIAH

Uh, y-… yes?

SYDNEY

Then you need to (not) do THE OPPOSITE OF THAT!

JEDIDIAH

Ugh, fine, shit. Fine, I’ll just… try.

SYDNEY

[As if through gritted teeth] It’s fantastic that you’re cussing where the kids can hear.

JEDIDIAH

Right, sorry.

SYDNEY

Are you?

JEDIDIAH

[Exclaims in frustration] I mean I’m not sorry. MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS. I’M DOING THEM.

Well, kids, as you… certainly haven’t guessed, it’s not Opposite Day. For the record, Opposite Day is not a government mandated holiday in which we aren’t forced to do and say the opposite of whatever we would usually do. The government will not punish us in any way if we mess up.

[Audibly relieved] Hey, I got through that bit pretty good, didn’t I?

[SYDNEY SNAPS HIS FINGERS]

Whatever! Whatever. Thanks to Opposite Day, everything around camp is… extremely normal. I’m sure you kids are all having fun bossing your counselors around… or, uh, I mean, I bet you’re all having a miserable time, uhh… being�� not doing that? [Sighs] Christ. I’m just gonna get through this.

Breakfast is garbage. Matthew is just gonna take a dump on your plate. [Unenthusiastically] Opposite Day, woo. As for today’s activities, uh, you all get to take turns playing app store games on Lucille’s cellphone, draining her data. Awesome.

Okay, that’s it, I mean, that’s none of it, I mean, whatever, whatever. If you need me, I’m not going to be behind the locked door of my office, where nobody can hear me fail to care about Opposite Day. I love you all. Hello.

SYDNEY

[CLAPPING]

Yayyy!

JEDIDIAH

Christ.

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

[DING]

JEDIDIAH

[Smug] Goodbye, kids. The time is 80:12, and lunch is never coming. Fortunately for those of you who enjoyed this morning’s fumbling, I did not have the foresight to write myself a script for the lunch announcements. Nope. Completely did not do that.

Today has in no way been a total shitshow, and if it had been, that certainly wouldn’t be because of the totally optional holiday of Opposite Day. The campers of Camp Here & There have been calm and peaceful today, and have done nothing to take advantage of Opposite Day for greedy and destructive purposes.

Fourteen-year-old Dolly Navarro absolutely did not unite her campers under the banner of her authoritarian leadership, or rally them around a mock execution of Counselor Juniper. Thirteen-year-old Natsume Shiota did not read Juniper his last rights from a book of demonology, and he was not heard announcing that “if he dies on opposite day, it actually means he’ll live forever!”

But, of course, if something like that did happen, well, all of you can rest assured that the staff of this camp look at this behavior with… nothing but approval. [Flatly] Violence. Woo.

Uh, and, to the Cabin Dungbeetle kids, a, ah, private message from me to you, and, uh, don’t worry about me, y’know, deviating from the script a bit, but, uh, I — [Nervous laughter] Dropping the opposite day façade, Juniper is valuable camp personnel, and also, like, a — human being so — don’t — kill him? Legally we’re powerless to stop you here so, please don’t kill Juniper, okay? Uh, pl—

SYDNEY

Jedidiah?

JEDIDIAH

Yes? I mean. N-no?

SYDNEY

I just love how encouraging you are! You’d be a total Debbie Downer if you were to scold all the kids just for enjoying themselves, so it’s great that you aren’t doing that.

JEDIDIAH

[Upset] Sydney. Sydney, people are getting hurt.

SYDNEY

But are the children getting hurt?

JEDIDIAH

[Incredulous] What kind of question is that?

SYDNEY

Carry on, winner! You’re crushing it!

JEDIDIAH

Er, our chef, Matthew wants you all to know he absolutely loves the way some of you are crawling around in his kitchen, performing unethical chemistry experiments with his cooking reagents… so… keep that up. For lunch, uh, you can help yourself to any of the raw ingredients in his stores.

This morning’s… no, tonight’s… ? Sydney… okay, help actually. What’s the opposite of afternoon? Is it evening? Or is evening the opposite of morning…? Would the opposite of afternoon be… some equivalent time of night?

SYDNEY

[Holding back laughter] Wouldn’t you like to know.

JEDIDIAH

I would! … not!

SYDNEY

Well, Jedidiah. Since you are not asking me to provide you with a term which would be recognized as the opposite of afternoon, I’m under no obligation to answer you with the opposite of the opposite of afternoon! Which is… afternoon!

JEDIDIAH

[Incensed] This afternoon’s activities are screaming until you pass out, and breaking your legs with hammers. I would be happy to see you in my office anytime today. I love you. Hello.

SYDNEY

Woah, are you actually upset?

JEDIDIAH

Sydney, I-

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

[DING]

SYDNEY

Hey, kids. Sydney here. I have a sneaking suspicion that some of you rascals are pretending to be unaware that Opposite Day has been cancelled, so here’s a camp-wide announcement that nobody can ignore: Opposite Day has been cancelled. I know that’s exactly what someone would say on an Opposite Day that hasn’t been cancelled, but I swear on my mother I’m being sincere. The order comes all the way from the administration building.

[Sighs] I regret that it came to this, but Lucille’s word is final on these matters — even when it is technically illegal; I’m sure we’re all a bit worried about Lucille facing retribution from the government for cancelling the observation of this holy day. I have to wonder what the final straw was for her. Was it when Juniper got strung up on the flagpole, gallows-style? Or when Matthew personally went to talk to Lucille about the… miniature black hole you creative chemists managed to spawn in the kitchen? Perhaps it was the unidentifiable mass of pink goo which.. splattered onto Joshua and subsequently dissolved his uniform, leaving him standing there with his funny little body exposed to the elements.

Well, either way, it’s a real shame.

Kids, your enjoyment and safety during your time here at camp is the most important thing in the world to me. That’s a pledge that I work to live up to. So that’s why I take Opposite Day very seriously. I know that the role-reversal is some of the most fun you little horse flies have all Summer. But after talking things over with Jedidiah, I fear that my camp spirit may have made me rather myopic. I fear that in my blind passion, I may have… ruined Opposite Day.

After all, kids, if I hadn’t prevented Jedidiah from intervening when you sentenced Juniper to be hung by the neck until dead, perhaps it would not have had to become a camp-wide affair. Perhaps, had I supported Matthew in his desire not to have you in the kitchens, all of tonight’s dinner would not have been sucked into a wormhole. My intentions — to prioritize the fun of you children over the health, safety, and legal rights of my coworkers — were utterly righteous and pure; of that, there is no doubt. But I think my methods were a bit… over-the-top. Perhaps, if I’d been a little more moderate, all the fun of Opposite Day would still be in effect.

I don’t know, kids. I hope you don’t… blame me for any fun you may have missed out on this evening. Since we didn’t really have any activities planned for tonight, and dinner has been dematerialized, I’d like to invite you all to come join me around the oracle bonfire so that we may fill our empty bellies with its rich smoke, and our dreams with its visions of unspeakable calamity. Just as soon as I finish oiling Juniper up, of course. He’s got a pretty bad case of rope burn ‘round that weird, long neck of his.

Oh, also, on a completely different note — remember a couple of days ago, how I said stuff went missing from my office? It seems like, in the past few days, that’s becoming something of a… camp-wide issue. We’ve gotten reports from other counselors and campers about their personal effects vanishing.

We’ll keep you updated, okay? In the meantime, sleep with your most precious items in your arms. And, Joshua… watch out. If I find out you were behind this, I’ll prescribe you every ounce of my most copious painkiller, and then I won’t order a restock, and you’ll have to spend the rest of the Summer suffering the withdrawal symptoms.

Alright, campers. I love you all. I’m sorry about dinner — but I’m sure Matthew has big plans for breakfast to make up for it! If you’re interested in joining the bonfire circle, that’s where I’ll be for the next hour or so. To those of you who don’t show up: goodnight, you marvels. Goodnight, and sleep well.

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

[FAINT TICKING OF A CLOCK]

SYDNEY

Evening, ghost stuck in my recorder. It’s 25:25 again. Wow, what a day, huh? There’s so much to report on, where do I even start…

First of all, I know this whole recorder thing was originally supposed to be for recording injury reports, and I’ve kinda shunted that in favor of rambling about my cursed emotions. But, there actually were a lot of injuries today. And I kind of… see the benefit in keeping track of the really bad ones this time. So, even if Lucille isn’t listening, this one’s for me.

Uhm. Y’know, I’m aware Lucille cares about me a lot, but I question if I’m doing something wrong to make her not want to… I don’t know… interact with me? I know she doesn’t listen to these, or else she’d confront me about all this nonsense. It’s like she only asked me to do this to keep me busy. And that would bother anyone, wouldn’t it? I make valuable contributions to the campsite.

[Scoffs] Whatever. Today seventeen kids were injured out of the hundred and thirty that are currently attending. Five of the seven total cabins had their tributes. Augh, so much pain. The most notable of that list, Natsume Shiota and Dolly Navarro from Cabin Dungbeetle both lost finger digits, Wendy Yak from Cabin Magpie Moth had a softball in place of her shoulder joint, and Misha Tchevitksy from Cabin Tarantula Hawk had his foot turned 180 degrees.

These all sound… terrifying, actually. I mean, they were terrifying up close, too, but I guess it didn’t register with me until I laid it out in words. Am I that desensitized to pain?

[Sighs] Sigh. I guess I’m glad that everyone’s basically okay now.

There is some good news, however. Jedidiah was actually helping me this time. He was real sober and quiet while treating the kids, but he did talk with me and we got to sit close together all afternoon and evening. That’s some nice quality time, the sort we don’t often get lately. I wonder what I did differently to make him actually want to be around me? He was real sweet to me too, actually, giving me all these reassuring touches and words. It was… really nice. I already miss it. Maybe I’m being too greedy, but I… really hope that happens again soon.

[Laughs gently] Look at me. I promise to give an injury report and then I just ramble again. I’m insatiable. I mean, there’s not much more spectacular bloodshed. A few bumps and scrapes, one broken bone, some sick stomachs, nothing truly extravagant there.

Mm. Well, I bet I’ll have some fantastic dreams tonight. Maybe I’ll finally learn where all my stuff is disappearing off to. I really hope Joshua’s been taking it, because it’d be real funny to have even more reason for dumping buckets of leeches down his jeans.

Well, ghost recorder, this was a wild day, and I think I’ll get some sleep now. I hope you sleep peacefully in the astral realm. Thanks for listening, and as always… goodnight.

[CLICK]

Today’s episode was written by Blue Mayfield and Nicholas Belov. The part of Sydney Sargent was played by Blue Mayfield. The part of Jedidiah Martin was played by Nicholas Belov. Camp Here & There is the sole intellectual property of its production company, Mayfield & Belov. All music composed by Will Wood, and produced by Jonathon Maisto. Sound editing by Cut by Frank and Beetlesprite. Special thanks to our Patrons: Minno, Ambrose Valentine, A Lonely Dunedain, Emil, and Skye Manzie.

For behind-the-scenes material, exclusive canonical content, interactive events, and early episode access, consider signing up for our Patreon at patreon.com/mayfieldandbelov. Our discord server is a great place to meet like minded fellows and discuss today’s episode — find the link at mayfieldandbelov.com. Lastly, if you’d like to support us, the best thing you can do is to spread the word about the show.

Thank you for listening to Camp Here & There! And remember: I’m outside.

[STATIC]

[CLICK]

Could you repeat that?

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

I've begun think about wanderlust James once again, and I have to wonder, how would Nobby react to James? Furthermore, I wonder if he intentionally didn't really try to get along with anyone else at other sheds so that when he left, he wouldn't really feel bad about it?

Also I just think it's funny that the furness lot think they've finally gotten rid of him after ejecting him off to No-Where, but he turns up back at Barrow a week later with the express in his dazzling new colors and the smuggest face in the world lol. +10 points if "NWR Red" is actually just Furness red that the LMS chucked out due to the grouping but the NWR stole took and gave to James just to rub salt in the wound lol.

Sooososososo THE THING YOU MUST UNDERSTAND ABOUT NOBBY AND JAMES goes back to F.R. culture. The F.R. is honestly a very solidly above-average home for an engine—there is a strong railway culture, the place is big enough that there's plenty of work and money (apart from massive downturns in the steel trade, lol) and at the same time it's small enough that Management (and Nobby) is pretty well aware of every engine, certainly of every shed.

But being small enough to have its own distinct culture and norms also means that it's small enough to, you know. Be stifling.

There are certain things that F.R. engines just Do Not Talk About. They don't even Mention. That no one ever says aloud. Things such as any resentment about the way humans have trained the engines to know their place (which will crop up a bit soon in Springtime). Things such as scrap and death (which will come up in the next story in the series). And this includes the patent reality that Nobby—or, at least, Management's idea of Old Coppernob, which is quite distinct from the Nobby under the mask—is held up to the engines as a role model, as the exemplar they should aspire to, and truly the engines do admire Coppernob, he's genuinely beloved... but, for all that, the whole static-preservation-under-glass thing is horrifying. The engines know this damn well. But—they are not going to let on. Expressing any pity for Nobby is unthinkable. Because he wouldn't take kindly to it, of course, but also because to acknowledge that Management's grandest reward for loyalty is a living nightmare just strikes at the heart of their entire society.

So, yeah. They're all nice, well-bred sort of engines who will never address the elephant in the room. (You can really see the continuity here with Edward believing that throwing out a "Peep peep! Hullo! 😊" to a miserable engine interred in a tunnel and then just moving on with your day is an absolutely normal and appropriate thing to do.)

Then you have James.

Who has no... okay, I actually think he has some filter, really. But he's completely outside of this unspoken conspiracy of polite silence. He's a deeply opinionated engine who hasn't been indoctrinated and who calls it like he sees it.

The moment he sees Nobby, he's basically like (and very loudly and shrilly) 'Okay but WHAT THE FUCK????? Jesus, Mary, and Lady, did you like KILL AN ENTIRE TRAIN OF PASSENGERS or something???? Bullshit this is an honour. Who the HELL did you piss off, mate??'

This instant violation of every norm they possess does not endear James to most of the F.R. engines, who are horrified at this display.

But Nobby himself?

The absolute almost hysterical breath of fresh air it is to have someone SAY IT.

Not that James won't get under his paintwork sometimes, but honestly Nobby can't help but respect like have a soft spot take a mild interest in the L. & Y. engine after that.

--

Haha. I don't think James was intentionally trying to alienate other engines. I think he just never really learned.

And I don't want to say James never had a friend, or at least another engine he was on decent terms with, before Sodor. But... it IS fair to say that he didn't have any good friends. Sodor taught him everything he knows about community. I actually have to give Gordon of all engines some credit here, because his bossiness actually made many of the unspoken and confusing rules of Getting Along with The Rest of the Community explicit to James for the first time ("Gordon thinks he knows everything," moans James, who had to be taught how to share and take turns and not ask unfamiliar engines why their face looks like that by Gordon over the course of the past 25+ years).

--

That is the funniest image. I don't think it went down quite like that, but it is funny.

I'm seeing it as a bit of a gradual process. I think James starts to gravitate towards Edward and Edward makes his brothers and cousins start tolerating James, but it all happens slowly since Edward is coming over-the-bridge only on occasion. But they have so much in common right now and I think Edward would have a lot of empathy for James's position—this is '24-'25 and Edward is fresh off his own experience of being despised in his own shed, and not quite being wanted anywhere, and having to prove himself and carve out a role for himself. (The line "Good! Don't let them beat you" is *such* an insight to their apparent friendship at the point of James's arrival.) So at the point where they get around to "you couldn't get me a trial on Sodor, could ya mate?" I don't think anyone is surprised. It's just so obvious that, if James belongs anywhere, it's on Insane Circus Misfit Island.

If N.W.R. red were actually Furness red (I'm not planning on going that way, but if it were), OMG, it would be a double insult to the Sharpies since they had to trade their F.R. red for L.M.S. black after Grouping. Salt in the wound. God, James is so good at making himself popular!

[snugglyporos]

// So. I was reading some story someone sent me about what they considered a 'good' isekai, and at first I was kind of okay with it, but then I hit something like ten chapters in that made me go NOPE.

And it's the concept of differing morality.

Let me explain. Let's say you have a character from say, our world, entering a medieval fantasy setting. The medieval period, and indeed much of history, had vastly different ideas about morality, specifically, capital punishment. Meaning that for a society where death is everywhere, as people don't live as long, violence is endemic, and getting a cold means flipping a coin to see if you die, executing criminals is pretty routine.

Now, if you're someone who has been dropped into this world, and you see someone being accused of crimes, some of which seem pretty bad, such as murder or maybe magical ones such as necromancy, would you immediately think to stick your neck out to declare that executing them is wrong?

Because I feel like that's a really, really stupid thing to do.

Like it's one thing to believe that such a thing is wrong. It's another thing to insert yourself into a society you know nothing about and declare that they are wrong, that their laws are wrong, that their cultural beliefs are wrong, especially when you're the fish out of water here.

The saying 'when in rome, do as the romans do' exists because the best way to survive and get along is to go along with things even if you don't entirely approve of them!

Like if I was dropped into a fantasy world my primary drive would not be centered around trying to object to whatever weird laws the locals have. I would be asking for a copy of their legal code so I could learn what they were before I got myself in trouble.

Also! Just because you're not from a fantasy world doesn't mean you have no concept of what kinds of magic are like!

Like if you live in a world with say, RPGs, then you should be vaguely aware that in general, necromancy is bad. Sure, individual necromancers might be okay! But on the whole, they're usually the antagonists, and people who grave rob are usually not good people. Probably shouldn't stick your neck out for them on a whim.

Like I've said a lot about how sometimes lawful good can become lawful asshole, but I've not said enough about how chaotic good can become chaotic moron, because doing things that are theoretically altruistic but which make no sense is not a good thing!

There's a difference between 'I am against capital punishment because I believe people should be able to redeem themselves' and 'I believe that there should be no punishment for people doing transparently evil things because it makes me feel icky.'

Like I believe this strongly when it comes to tabletop especially. When you write a character or roleplay a character whose alignment differs greatly from the party or the society's norm, you need to establish how they coexist with them without causing problems!

For example, I often bring up my chaotic evil Oozemancer character who existed within a party of mostly good characters. To me, good/evil is actually altruistic/selfishness, and so he gave not one fuck about anyone or anything else except his oozes. And obviously, the BBEG is going to pose a threat to his beloved oozes, and so he is entirely willing to go along with the Paladin and company and acquiesce to their goals, because it provides material benefit to him.

Conversely, a paladin surrounded by evil characters might rationalize it by saying they're trying to provide an example for them to follow or trying to curb their worst excesses. They won't go along with obviously awful things, but you also can't object as strongly to mostly neutral actions. Dishonorable is not the same as evil, after all.

My point is, I cannot stand when characters grandstand about their morality systems in a situation which makes absolutely no sense for them to do so.

It's like if you were transported back to the height of the Aztec empire and witnessed human sacrifice, you're not going to stop the ceremony because they'll just sacrifice you next! That's not doing good, that's just being a moron. And it shouldn't be presented as the morally correct thing, because that's just character centered morality.

[jazzmckay]

i finally finished the fallout show, so here are my thoughts. i will talk about both things i enjoyed and things i didn't enjoy. be aware that i'm one of Those west coast fallout fans so this will be bethesda-critical, although it's never my goal to be a hater or make fans of bethesda games feel bad for enjoying them.

spoilers for not only the show, but most fallout games ive played, which includes: fallout, fallout 2, fallout 3, and fallout: new vegas

lets start with the positive!

things i enjoyed:

the aesthetics: it just plain looks good. it matches the games pretty accurately, it brought the world of fallout to this new medium very well. visually, it definitely looks like fallout, and i thought it had some nice cinematography and shot framing. i like that it was never too dark to see what was going on, i like that it was fairly vibrant even with the unavoidable Brown Wasteland, Metal Grey Vault palettes. the costumes were great. i liked how the people looked realistic for the world they're living in. i would have liked cooper to be more standard ghouly, but after having seen the full show, i'm fine with it. the ghouls have a lot of range, physically, and it does make sense for cooper to be more human-like because he's actively preserving himself, and probably did so pre-war as well. all in all it was visually great

the main characters: lucy is a fantastic main character. i love how shaped she is from living in vault 33 specifically, with her moral compass, view of the world, social uniqueness, and relationship with sex. i adore that she's such a positive person, always wanting to see the best in others and make the best of any situation, but that doesn't mean she can't get hurt and angry, can't fight when she has to. she's fun and badass, i really like her. maximus is just as complex, shaped by the brotherhood instead of the vault--again, moral compass, view of the world etc all coloured by where he's spent most of his life, just in a different way from lucy. more grey, more skewed, more manipulated, in my opinion, even though of course vault 33 was quite manipulated as well. his struggle with identity is awesome. i like how both of them are a little weird, a little socially unhinged, and majorly biased about the world. i enjoyed maximus' struggle and journey with coming into his own. i'll be eager to see that continue in s2. cooper took me almost the ENTIRE season to warm up to. at first he was the kind of character i found interesting, but difficult to like. right from the start, you know he wasn't always like this, and 200 years in the wasteland has understandably changed him, but i was still very "fuck this guy, hes a prick and he annoys me" for most of the show. the final episode finally tipped me over onto the "okay yeah im properly into this character now" side. he's definitely layered, just takes a bit to see more than the outer one that makes him just look like... a major piece of shit. i love a dark character as much as the next guy, but i prefer if it Makes Sense, and i didn't fully get him until the last ep. eager to see how he develops going forward as well. don't have a lot to say about norm, i just really like him. hell yeah fuck shit up, little bro

the side characters: betty and stephanie fascinate me, especially after learning who they really are. moldaver is SO COOL and a milf for real oh my god i'm a little obsessed. thaddeus surprised me with his depth. ma june was really cool and felt sort of quintessential fallout to me. even just the one-off people of the wasteland were really interesting to me. they were real people with a place in this world, no matter how small. (you'll notice i havent mentioned dane, even though being nb myself, a nb character should be a big deal to me. well. i still dont entirely know how i feel about dane, unfortunately)

the vault lore: from start to finish, i was HOOKED on everything to do with the vaults. the concept of 3 vaults being connected and able to trade with each other when necessary was interesting. i liked the concept of vault 33 and how it gave the characters a different culture about relationships and sex. then i enjoyed the suspense of the lie unravelling, of following norm's arc of defying what he'd been raised with to figure everything out. it was very tense and mysterious.

vault lore part 2: historically, i've not been a fan of pre-war society actually being shown. didn't like that they did that in fo4, though part of that could be that i just massively dislike the choices they made for it, including how it locked the player too much into an unchangeable (heterosexual) backstory. i guess i'm not fully against the pre-bomb time being shown as long as it's lore-friendly, and i'm pleasantly surprised that the show was pretty lore-friendly indeed. not entirely. i have some major gripes that i will get into later, but i liked the tension and intrigue of the big corporations doing their gross capitalism shit, and cooper finding out just how fucked up they are. the idea of the vault ownership being split up between different companies and therefore different ideals so "the best ideas of how to continue civilization can win" was interesting! i think it's more grounded to say that most vaults were trying to make something viable for the future, not just fucked up experiments for the sake of it, but the ideas were extreme and many doomed to failure. i wouldn't even say this is a retconn, a lot of the vaults, even the ones that got really messed up, can be viewed as an attempt at making something good, just with amoral methods

how the brotherhood was portrayed: FINALLY bethesda has written the brotherhood in a way more reflective of what they're supposed to be. the brotherhood are not the ultimate heroic knights in shining armour. they're not just a grandstanding military faction. caveat that i don't know the fo4 brotherhood personally, but fo3!brotherhood was so incomprehensible. in fo1, the brotherhood is reclusive and focused on technological / scientific information. they are a force to be reckoned with when convinced to take good action, but they're on the insular side. in fo2, they're a destroyed shadow of what they were, with barely any presence. in fnv they're even more reclusive, entirely xenophobic to anyone outside of the brotherhood and further stuck in their ways. you can help them improve, but there are cult vibes. and the show? i am impressed by how they focused on those cult vibes! the brotherhood doesn't have to be 100% the same every time when there's a lot of geography between chapters and different points in the last 200 have different needs, different goals and enemies, but the brotherhood should, imo, always be a grey area. when lucy asked "this is good right, the brotherhood are the good guys?" and maximus and thaddeus were like....... eh... it's. a complicated organization. THATS THE REAL SHIT. complex. a bit uncomfortable because they're reclusive and teach their people biased ideas of the wasteland. an ideology that makes sense in-verse, but isn't a simple dichotomy of good or bad. some parts of it were uncomfortable for me in a "well thats an odd writing choice" but most of it was uncomfortable in the way the brotherhood is SUPPOSED to be uncomfortable, and i am here for that

the scene where maximus comes clean to lucy and she accepts him, because she's learned how complicated the surface world is, and she has been travelling with him enough to see who he really is

the fnv theme cue when the ncr flag was shown. got me emotional fr

lucy is down to fuck and i LOVE that for her. it's great to see a female main character be so into sex without it being for any reason other than... she thinks sex is good and fun

the lucy/maximus ship. im officially on team "people who say its boring and lacking in chemistry might be not giving the black character the consideration he deserves because of internalized racism" sorry

i can ALSO get behind the lucy/cooper ship, after the last episode. it feels like theyre on somewhat even ground now. i can go for a begrudging allies pair. they should have rough, angry sex and remind each other it doesn't mean anything after and then they both go and pine and/or brood about the people they wish they were with, or wish they were with but in a happier story

the music in general

cx404 my beloved <3

things i did not enjoy:

the biggest issue is, of course, the way the show completely fucked with and/or retconned fallout: new vegas. in my opinion, it was very disrespectful, to the point where it's hard to see it as anything but maliciously intentional for mr. todd 'liar' howard to literally nuke the center of west coast fallout's world. it feels scummy. it feels tone deaf. it feels like a kid stomping on another kids sand castle at the beach because all they understand is destruction and coming out on top. and it also makes NO sense. the show says shady sands was bombed in 2277, which is the year of the first battle of hoover dam, and 4 years before the start of fnv. it renders everything in fnv void. the thing is that shady sands is just one small part of the ncr--in fo1, its a small farming village just getting started and a couple generations later in fo2, it isnt even recognizable as shady sands anymore, its just. The New California Republic. it's huge! it's sprawling! bombing a single city wouldn't have wiped out the ncr--and even the show acknowledges this with vault 4 and moldaver's people--but it's still too significant a calamity that fnv could have happened the way it did proceeding it. you can't just add an event like this and think it'll work when no one in fnv mentions it, when it can't retroactively impact the ncr's future that is already shown. and even though the show does allow that remnants of the ncr have survived, they didn't do it in the way that makes sense, in my opinion. what would make sense is having an entire nation losing its capitol, but the rest being able to continue on. it doesnt make sense for them to become what they did in the show, nor having it be a non-issue during fnv. the ncr could not have had a continued presence in the mojave if that nuke really happened. ive seen pieces of articles and such about how they were careful to follow the timeline and "dont worry, fnv still happened!" but.... they most certainly did not follow the timeline, and what they did utterly fucks up fnv's narrative

the answering of the question "who fired the first bomb". while i enjoyed the backstory, i did not enjoy this question being answered. the point of fallout is not who was right and who was wrong. the point isnt about there being a good side, a bad side, a justification for anything. the point is that nuclear bombs are horrific and what happened to the world is the ultimate tragedy. and it's about communities still being able to rise from the ashes and make something real. it's about people being able to survive and thrive. yes, conflict persists, but the world has not ended, and in west coast fallout, entire cities have grown up from nothing to take on a way of life all on their own, different from the pre-war days, but no longer weighed down by the tragedy, either. east coast fallout is post-apocalypse. west coast fallout is post-post-apocalypse. it's supposed to be post-post-apocalypse, and who dropped the bombs does not matter. the point is that war never changes--but people do. the old world is gone, what happened happened, and society has to move on. answering the question of who dropped the bombs serves no narrative purpose

and if america dropped the bombs on themselves--what does that mean for the rest of the world? of course, we have never known if the rest of the world is still out there continuing as normal, but making the bombs in america an inside job has new implications for china's part in everything. i do wonder if the shift away from the american-chinese conflict is a sensitivity issue. i'm not knowledgeable enough on the topic to speak on it further

robert house's potential/likely character assassination: the best way i could possibly read it is that house was being reticent about his true feelings because it wouldn't have been very tactful to oppose an entire room of capitalism moguls. but his part in planning the bombs is, if taken at face value, utterly opposed to his actual goals as stated in fnv. i want to believe he was just flying under the radar to get information. but it either doesnt make sense, or we dont have the full story yet, because house's intentions were to save new vegas from the bombs, and he wasn't able to save the entire area, which he should have been able to do if in the know, and he also would have been able to get the platinum chip on a better timeline if he was in the know. i'm trying to reserve judgement in case they elaborate on him in s2, but s1!house is.... not fnv!house

needed more pre-existing rad creatures. i'm guessing the bear was supposed to be a yao guai even though they didn't name it, but the gulper was new, and i wouldve liked to see geckos, maybe nightstalkers or cazadors if possible, just... anything properly reminiscent of west coast fallout. based on the final scenes, i'd like to think we'll see deathclaws in s2. please.

sometimes there were bouts of confusing / weird writing. episode 6 in particular had me a bit "what the fuck is going on and why are certain characters acting like this????". the scene where maximus reveals himself to thaddeus was also lackluster in my opinion. i think it should have been drawn out at least a bit. maximus trying to explain, thaddeus being conflicted--not just an immediate flip. it's hard to believe maximus would injure thaddeus THAT badly without trying something else first. whiplash for real. maximus was a little weird in vault 4 and i genuinely don't know what vibe they were going for. at first i thought he'd been drugged and the people there were going to experiment on him. (also how did cooper NOT SEE the "test subjects" over the door when he was doing the vault-tec ad? i dont remember if the name plate was shown in the commercial itself but i sure hope not or, uhhh... people would have known something bad was up). it was just a bit ??? for me, that whole damn episode. what was with the ncr remnants acting Like That? i don't get it and it was never addressed again? am i just supposed to believe that a couple decades or whatever separated from the ncr society has turned them into a cult? what association do they even have with moldaver anymore? its all so weird and unexplained. and if moldaver opposed vault-tec, how did she end up in cryo with them? i guess she didn't actively walk away from it? maybe im missing something here

on that note, the portrayal of the ncr: moldaver and her people end up being ncr but they were played the whole time like raiders. only for the end of the show to have moldaver's settlement be totally normal people just living their lives. what the hell? and the vault 4 people, again, were unsettling and confusing, i don't understand what i'm supposed to take away from this. i suppose the point is that time has changed both groups, and moldaver's been pushed to extremes, but the framing was just.... weird and iffy for me. it's a far cry from the ncr i'm used to

final thoughts:

i did overall enjoy the show, but i suppose, as they say about games like fo4, "it was a good show, but it wasn't a good fallout show". i was pleasantly surprised in a lot of ways, but the fact remains that bethesda misses, or disregards, the whole point of fallout. often they go directly against the original message of fallout. most modern fallout just isn't what it was when it started or what it is when created by people who were there at the beginning. it's painful being a west coast fan specifically, sometimes, because todd is always finding new ways to massacre my boy. but if i pretend this isn't canon and that it has no bearing on one of my favourite games, if i look at it just as it is instead of something that hinges with a bunch of other stories... it was surprisingly enjoyable. i just have to turn off the part of my brain that wants to fight mr howard in the dennys parking lot at 4am