#player-sexuality

[alpaca-clouds]

Why I hate the concept of player-sexual characters

Okay, you know what? Let me talk about this. Because it really irks me. Like, it really irks me. I cannot express how much it irks me, to be honest.

I love BG3. And BG3 is doing a lot of stuff right when it comes to queer representation. Not so much in regards to any other form of representation (How is it that there is only one none-white character among your teammates? Why is there literally no body diversity at all? Why is there no fucking combat wheelchair?), but on terms of queer rep the game is doing very good. I mean, literally, most canonical relationships you interact with are queer. You meet a lot more happy queer couples than happy straight couples. Which is nice. And while I could've done with maybe one canonical trans character, you can at least play your player character as trans, which is fucking nice. So yeah, we are getting there.

But for heaven's sake, I will never, ever see player-sexual characters as bi/pan representation. Because they are not. Their universal sexual attraction serves not to define them as characters in their identity, but just for the player to fulfill their own power fantasy in whatever way the player desires. The fact that the characters do not care about what gender the player character has, is not really tied to the character or their story.

Which is why I like it so much more the way that Bioware did it with Dragon Age: Inquisition and some of the later Mass Effect games (is this true for Starfield as well? I have no idea). Where the characters do have a canon sexuality that influences who you can romance and who you cannot romance.

Like, I am in general not a big fan of the Dragon Age games, with the exception of Inquisition, because boy, I got invested into those characters and part of the reason is this. Like, holy hell, I cannot explain to you how invested I got into Dorian and his entire story. Like, back then I was still in egg-mode and I played the game with a female character - but I then did a second playthrough with a male PC just so I could romance Dorian.

Their sexuality is tied to who they are as people.

And sure, yeah, fine. Basically BG3 goes about sexuality in the way of: "The world does not care about it, so neither should you." Like, there is so many queer couples, some have kids that might be their biological kids, because magic, I guess, and nobody really bats an eye. So, I guess something like with Dorian, where part of his story was dealing with a homophobic dad would not happen here. Still, you know, with their supposed bisexuality not playing any role at all, it feels... hollow.

Because it does really feel like this part of them only exists for the player - not as part of their characterization. And I would feel a lot better about it, if it was.

I think it feels partly so offensive to me, because I am a bisexual trans dude and lived as a bi woman for so long. And as that my bisexuality has often been seen by men as something that they can consume in one way or another to act out their personal fantasies. So, player-sexuality/bisexuality in games being used for the player to act out that kinda fantasy feels... wrong.

How could Larian have done it or do it in future games? Well, pretty simple.

Bring in former relationships of different genders, let the characters comment on finding other characters (both in your party and out of it) attractive, allow the non-romanced characters to hook up together or hook up with other NPCs. Make their sexuality part of their story.

I totally would be fine with the characters all being bisexual. Sure, its a bit boring, but I also totally could buy into "in this world bisexuality/pansexuality is the norm" as part of the worldbuilding. But then show it through their interactions outside of being willing/able to hook up with the player character.

Though admittedly, this is in general one of my biggest issue with the writing on the game: Rather than having the characters talk with each other about stuff (outside of the idle banter in your party), they talk to the player character about how they feel about each other. You know, I have seen a lot of comments about how the ending feels unrewarding because apparently (I am closing in on the ending, but I am not quite there yet) after everything is said and done everybody just goes their own way, not acknowledging each other at all. But I think it is a problem in general.

Like, I get that each scene in which the characters interact more significantly than awkwardly standing in front of each other is a ton of work, because you gotta motion capture it - and also rendering it on the system make the workload on the hardware you are using a lot bigger... But it definitely would help the characterization.

To come back to Dragon Age: Inquisition (look, it is the one game I played that worked a lot with this), I had a general feeling for how the other characters related to each other, like, what their relationships were like. I knew how Cassandra felt about Solas and Varric. Or Sera about Cole. Sure, not all character relations were as well defined, but there was a lot happening there. Which here... I mean, I know how Shadowheart and Lae'zel see each other and how that evolves over time. I know how Karlach and Wyll feel about each other. But for example, there is never a scene where Karlach and Astarion argue with each other, even though they are moral-wise fundamentally opposed and probably would argue. Like, when you learn about the ritual and Astarion goes like "I totally should do it!", none of the other characters has an opinion on him planning that, let alone confronts him about it. Or where Gale gets annoyed with Karlach's approach to solving problems by just beating her axe at the problem. Or, like, Halsin and Janeira hanging out with each other, talking about druid stuff. Because outside of single cutscenes and the idle banter, the characters just do not interact a whole lot.

And I think that is a shame. Because they are already fun, engaging characters. But they totally would be more fun and engaging if they had a life outside of their backstory and their relationship to the player character. (And mind you, if you play an Origin playsthrough this does not change, because whatever character you play, still is the player character.)

Allow them friendships and romances outside of the player character. And be it just by having them awkwardly stand together and talk in front of the same tent at camp from time to time. lol

When you have that, their sexuality also would feel real - and not just like a device to propell the player's power fantasy.

Also, for fucks sake, just give us some aroace characters. Q-Q

[citrusai]

taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.

[nicktremblaywayfu]

Y'all ever think how Red Barrels showed this man's dick many times in the comic but didn't add bulge in Coyle's model despite how other Prime Assets dialogues implied he's hard 24/7 like

Why are they so "shy" about Coyle despite his wild-ass sexual dialogues yet go wild and push the limit to Franco. This is not even Franco vs Coyle this shit has been bugging me because they don't want to show anything revealing from Coyle yet we got a whole comic page full of Franco's dick LMAOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭

[objects-i-find-cute]

Record Player

[silver-horse]

unfortunately I have opinions about the ascendant astarion ending and I have been holding back from saying it. but it's a problem that applies to the whole game and it's been annoying me

what's actually weird about the ascendant "romance" scene is that the writer considers it a tempting option for the player. They wrote it to be bad, but they also think it's a fun and sexy option. Same goes for the haarlep scene which they also wrote that way because they find it sexy. Except finding this sexually appealing entirely hinges on the idea that the player is a submissive. So RIP to a scene that the rest of us could have found sexy because the lead narrative designer was a submissive. lmao

In this game you can have a scene where you have to kneel for a male character. But you can never have a male character do the same for you. (Halsin doesn't count. It's a vanilla scene, he is not submissive there and we are not even asking/telling him to kneel down) You don't get such options, not even if you play a drow female! RIP the number one reason for playing drow female to be honest. lol You can kneel and fully submit to ascendant astarion or fully submit to mizora or fully submit to haarlep or submit to lae'zel or submit to minthara. you can get whipped by abdirak or you can tell him "touch me and lose a hand" he even responds positively to this remark and yet the possibility to flip the dynamic doesn't exist. There is never an option where a male character truly submits to the player. RIP to a scene that would have been the opposite of the traditional dynamic. the potential that existed but they never used the opportunity

By the way, how interesting that Lae'zel is dominant but she is a woman so ofc you get the option to tell her “no you will submit to me”. You never get such switch options with any of the male characters... Obviously it's not ascendant where they could have made that an option. My point is that it's NEVER an option among so many male characters.

It's a cool idea that the bad ending in a romance means "I saw this character as a sex object" except it falls apart when the scene is very sexually unappealing to anyone who is more dominant leaning. If I see a character as a sex object then I would place them in sexual situations which are appealing to me. so the message doesn't quite work. because there isn't anything that I can selfishly choose for myself just because I like it and I find it sexy.

[dayurno]

need exy to have a penalty box and be real bc can you imagine kevin day getting put in timeout being pissed as hell. pulling off his helmet to see the replay better on the jumbotron and the cameras showing his swearing (no audio) because he thinks it’s a bullshit call. yeah

HED BE SO PISSED OFF but honestly it would be so delicious.......................... sweaty and panting in the penalty box with a scowl that could freeze hell over its seriously.............. we'd have to stop the game i would get too horny to keep going. theyd need to lock me up id foam at the mouth like a dog with rabies

[kitsu-katsu]

Being able to actually read and understand portuguese yesterday felt like such a curse, because MAN was the shit that Forever said both in those og messages and in his addressing of it fucking awful

He literally just went "it's all the haters! I'm gonna sue you all!" And then compared himself to a girl who actually commited suicide recently because of online harassment

And the people's reactions over on twitter? Fucking awful. It's just like the Dream situation but more blatant in a way

Minors themselves were going on twitter.com just to say how the law would let a 21 year old doing things with 14 year olds pass. Or they made up that he had already apologized (he hasn't, they brought up the transphobia apology from months ago) and also it wasn't a big deal at the same time. Or they went "YOU'RE ALL HATERS! BRINGING UP SOMETHING FROM 2017!! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED"

Buddy, please, for your safety, TALK TO AN ADULT ABOUT THIS. It is not ok, it's very serious and trying to bury it and now burning the evidence on Forever's part is not a way to say that "he moved past it! It was 7 years ago, we all have flaws!!" Like yeah, we do all have flaws, but this isn't a case of "my parents brought me up with homophobic rhetoric so I grew up saying homophobic things but I've changed to be better" you know? No, this is a man who at 21 years old contantly messaged (and even met up at least once with one of them) 14 and 15 year olds talking about very sexual things involving them and him

I do not give a shit how many years have passed, you don't get to just "move past" that. Much less as he's doing trying to delete all evidence, threatening decryers with legal action and acting as a victim

This man needs deplatforming QUICK

[gottagobackintime]

I've seen some people say: “Trent shouldn’t have been gay, he should have just supported Colin anyway.” And it's such a weird (and bad) take.

Had Trent been straight we wouldn’t have gotten the scenes we did. Colin could have opened up and told Trent how he felt, but Trent wouldn’t have understood, he could have been supportive. But he wouldn’t understand where Colin is coming from. But because Trent is also gay he knows what it’s like being in the closet, living with fear and dread. Living with thoughts like “if I tell the people I love about my sexuality, will they hate me?”. You can’t get that from a straight ally, no matter how supportive and well meaning they are. Because they don't know what it's like. We need straight allies, we need all the straight allies we can get. But what Colin needs RIGHT NOW is someone who, while not a professional athlete, is involved in the world of football. Knows about homophobic fans, knows that there are a culture of toxic masculinity and homophobia in the clubs. That is why it’s important that Trent himself is gay.

Colin almost got runover by a cyclist in his desperate attempt to run away from Trent at the gay bar. But the relief when he understands what Trent is saying "I must have a good reason for that, mustn't I?" is so clear. Trent is also queer, Trent is safe, I can let Trent in.

And I think some people might read that line as "I haven't outed you because I'm gay too, but if I had been straight I would have" which isn't what Trent means, Trent is using that phrase to be subtle, to let Colin come to his own conclusion, because Colin is stressed out, he's scared. By letting Colin think for himself it gives Colin an opportunity to calm down (which is also why Trent holds his hands out as if calming a frightened animal, he also makes himself slightly smaller by bending his knees and leaning forward slightly). And he does, he realises what Trent is saying and he calms down. It's also an added layer of security it's not just, "I haven't outed you" it's "I haven't outed you because I am also queer". A straight person saying that they haven't outed you doesn't hold as much weight as a queer person saying it. Because you know that the queer person knows how important it is to be safe and to come out on your own terms wheras a straight person, especially an eager well meaning ally might try and encourage you to come out because "hey, it's gonna be fine", even when that's not the support you need at the moment (there are ofc exceptions, both when it comes to straight people and queer people).

But because Trent is also gay, Colin now has someone in his corner at work, who knows him, knows his secret. Who also carried that secret himself once. We’ll most likely get straight allies in the other players and the leaders at Richmond.

So no, Trent shouldn’t have been straight. Because that is not the support Colin needed at that moment. He needed queer solidarity.

[alacants]

ok so i went back and listened to brian vahaly on beyond the baseline in 2017 and tbh highly recommended. really frank and interesting conversation overall. couple moments so awkwardly Straight Dad Trying To Be Cool About It that i laughed aloud but overall wertheim is fine. but the part that i found most interesting, for its self-directed ruthlessness, was this: 

Vahaly: I think in general you'll find a lot of players talk about a feeling of relief, with victory, as opposed to wow, this is an amazing moment... What is there is the feeling of pain of loss. And especially losing to people you're not supposed to lose to. And doing it in a very public forum, in front of friends, family, and your peers. And that loss sits with you all day, it can sit with you, you know—depending on the size of the loss, the size of the choke, it can sit with you for a year. Wertheim: "I have a UVa degree to fall back on." Is that blunting your—I mean, is that a help or a hindrance, when you're out there trying to make it? Vahaly: For me it was a big help because it was able to take the pressure off... I always tried to rely on, "this is not my everything." This is about me going to be the best I can be, to have the most fun I can, and for—you know, you're always trying to find what that lie is you need to tell yourself, to enable you to relax in the big moments. Wertheim: I wouldn't say that's— Vahaly: And for some people that's, "I'm the greatest person in the world, I can beat anybody," for other people that's, "This isn't that big of a deal, I have an education I can fall back on." You know, there's always stories you're telling to yourself— Wertheim: I was going to say, stories, uh— Vahaly: —songs you're singing to yourself to— Wertheim: "Narratives" sounds better than "lies."

[butchvamp]

also speaking of banters there’s a banter between Emmrich and Lucanis that i think implies Lucanis tried to woo Viago at some point? i can’t possibly think of who else he could be talking about here:

Emmrich: Lucanis, were you really spurned once for gifting someone a knife? Lucanis: Not "spurned" so much as ignored. I just... don't have Illario's gift for flirting. Emmrich: Well, we all approach things in our own way. Emmrich: Who was it, if I might ask? The recipient of your gift? Lucanis: A crow from another house. It was a long time ago. Lucanis: You've met him. He's very... particular.

first: lmao at Lucanis giving Emmrich advice that wasn't even successful for himself. and lmao at Emmrich being nosy as hell.

second: i really like the way this game acknowledges companions' past relationships (and current ones outside of the player), particularly when it forces the player to acknowledge their sexuality.

i really like this banter you can get with Neve and Emmrich, too:

Neve: Look, Emmrich, I wasn't trying to pry before, about where you came from. Emmrich: I don't speak of it often, but I'd never deny it. Emmrich: Besides, I asked about your methods. You've quite the eye for detail. Neve: I just notice things. This girl I was sweet on, in Dock Town, always saved her candles like you do. I bought her a little oil lamp. Emmrich: How lovely. Neve: Didn't burn forever. But it was nice while it did.

i know Bellara and Irelin were also together at some point, and of course Harding and Taash get together, Emmrich and Strife, etc.

[objects-i-find-cute]

Walkman

[myautisticpov]

The worst thing is having a special interest in something, and either no one covers it online, or the only people who do are terrible

But the second-worst thing is having a special interest where only a few people cover it online and the person covering it the best has, like, one terrible opinion

So you're stuck with either accepting no/little/bad coverage of the thing or getting jump scared every so often

[violottie]

dumb fuck man: antagonises lesbians publically for harmlessly calling a female character a lesbian by making a secually aggressive tweet about said character

lesbians/sapphics: are antagonised, accordingly, and call out how weird he's being

dumb fuck man: "omg youre so cringe for being antagonised by my antagonism. i cant believe you guys are so stupid for being antagonised by me antagonising you. see everyone? lesbians are so weird!! this is why everyone hates lesbians because theyre all freaks and (r slurs)!!! they ruin everything for men like me and my chat who just wanna beat off to female characters by saying those characters are lesbians. isnt this so funny how stupid lesbians are for being antagonised by my antagonism?! hell yeah im so based!!! they literally took the "bait" of my lesbophobia by being upset at my lesbophobia isnt that so fucking cringe chat?! and its not lesbophobia to make fun of lesbians liking a female character and calling them slurs on my livestream for liking a female character and for me and all my friends to make the exact same video how it's actually the lesbians who are being weird about this character the lesbians RUINED by headcanoning her a lesbian. what about all the men who like this character?! what about us?!"

[staticstratosphere]

I adore the concept of recording a mixtape full of love songs. Imagine creating a tape that reminds you of your cassette player, a hand-crafted and lyrical love letter to them and them alone. 

Maybe they get a bit flustered while recording it. Particularly sweet lyrics are lined with static, maybe there’s quite a few skips throughout the songs. You don’t mind, it’s just your way of knowing exactly how they feel about you and your relationship. 

They can’t even manage to record it clearly, so imagine how embarassed they get when you play it back to them. You two can listen to it together afterward, holding them in your arms and listening to all the little skips and stalls they can’t help but make. 

To anyone else, it’s just a normal mixtape, but to you, it’s a testament to your relationship with the very object that made it’s creation possible. 

[blujayonthewing]

fighting for my life to Be Cool About It playing felix as a dnd character who has only known the party for one(1) egregiously shitty week rather than get carried away with romance subplots I'm inventing in my own head, as if simon getting Enthusiastic and visibly excited while talking a lot doesn't instinctively trigger, in felix, the exact same profound heart eyes reflex that justin doing so does for me in real life

[whywalkwhenyoucanride]

happy pride to all the player-sexual NPCs out there