#player-sexuality

[alpaca-clouds]

Why I hate the concept of player-sexual characters

Okay, you know what? Let me talk about this. Because it really irks me. Like, it really irks me. I cannot express how much it irks me, to be honest.

I love BG3. And BG3 is doing a lot of stuff right when it comes to queer representation. Not so much in regards to any other form of representation (How is it that there is only one none-white character among your teammates? Why is there literally no body diversity at all? Why is there no fucking combat wheelchair?), but on terms of queer rep the game is doing very good. I mean, literally, most canonical relationships you interact with are queer. You meet a lot more happy queer couples than happy straight couples. Which is nice. And while I could've done with maybe one canonical trans character, you can at least play your player character as trans, which is fucking nice. So yeah, we are getting there.

But for heaven's sake, I will never, ever see player-sexual characters as bi/pan representation. Because they are not. Their universal sexual attraction serves not to define them as characters in their identity, but just for the player to fulfill their own power fantasy in whatever way the player desires. The fact that the characters do not care about what gender the player character has, is not really tied to the character or their story.

Which is why I like it so much more the way that Bioware did it with Dragon Age: Inquisition and some of the later Mass Effect games (is this true for Starfield as well? I have no idea). Where the characters do have a canon sexuality that influences who you can romance and who you cannot romance.

Like, I am in general not a big fan of the Dragon Age games, with the exception of Inquisition, because boy, I got invested into those characters and part of the reason is this. Like, holy hell, I cannot explain to you how invested I got into Dorian and his entire story. Like, back then I was still in egg-mode and I played the game with a female character - but I then did a second playthrough with a male PC just so I could romance Dorian.

Their sexuality is tied to who they are as people.

And sure, yeah, fine. Basically BG3 goes about sexuality in the way of: "The world does not care about it, so neither should you." Like, there is so many queer couples, some have kids that might be their biological kids, because magic, I guess, and nobody really bats an eye. So, I guess something like with Dorian, where part of his story was dealing with a homophobic dad would not happen here. Still, you know, with their supposed bisexuality not playing any role at all, it feels... hollow.

Because it does really feel like this part of them only exists for the player - not as part of their characterization. And I would feel a lot better about it, if it was.

I think it feels partly so offensive to me, because I am a bisexual trans dude and lived as a bi woman for so long. And as that my bisexuality has often been seen by men as something that they can consume in one way or another to act out their personal fantasies. So, player-sexuality/bisexuality in games being used for the player to act out that kinda fantasy feels... wrong.

How could Larian have done it or do it in future games? Well, pretty simple.

Bring in former relationships of different genders, let the characters comment on finding other characters (both in your party and out of it) attractive, allow the non-romanced characters to hook up together or hook up with other NPCs. Make their sexuality part of their story.

I totally would be fine with the characters all being bisexual. Sure, its a bit boring, but I also totally could buy into "in this world bisexuality/pansexuality is the norm" as part of the worldbuilding. But then show it through their interactions outside of being willing/able to hook up with the player character.

Though admittedly, this is in general one of my biggest issue with the writing on the game: Rather than having the characters talk with each other about stuff (outside of the idle banter in your party), they talk to the player character about how they feel about each other. You know, I have seen a lot of comments about how the ending feels unrewarding because apparently (I am closing in on the ending, but I am not quite there yet) after everything is said and done everybody just goes their own way, not acknowledging each other at all. But I think it is a problem in general.

Like, I get that each scene in which the characters interact more significantly than awkwardly standing in front of each other is a ton of work, because you gotta motion capture it - and also rendering it on the system make the workload on the hardware you are using a lot bigger... But it definitely would help the characterization.

To come back to Dragon Age: Inquisition (look, it is the one game I played that worked a lot with this), I had a general feeling for how the other characters related to each other, like, what their relationships were like. I knew how Cassandra felt about Solas and Varric. Or Sera about Cole. Sure, not all character relations were as well defined, but there was a lot happening there. Which here... I mean, I know how Shadowheart and Lae'zel see each other and how that evolves over time. I know how Karlach and Wyll feel about each other. But for example, there is never a scene where Karlach and Astarion argue with each other, even though they are moral-wise fundamentally opposed and probably would argue. Like, when you learn about the ritual and Astarion goes like "I totally should do it!", none of the other characters has an opinion on him planning that, let alone confronts him about it. Or where Gale gets annoyed with Karlach's approach to solving problems by just beating her axe at the problem. Or, like, Halsin and Janeira hanging out with each other, talking about druid stuff. Because outside of single cutscenes and the idle banter, the characters just do not interact a whole lot.

And I think that is a shame. Because they are already fun, engaging characters. But they totally would be more fun and engaging if they had a life outside of their backstory and their relationship to the player character. (And mind you, if you play an Origin playsthrough this does not change, because whatever character you play, still is the player character.)

Allow them friendships and romances outside of the player character. And be it just by having them awkwardly stand together and talk in front of the same tent at camp from time to time. lol

When you have that, their sexuality also would feel real - and not just like a device to propell the player's power fantasy.

Also, for fucks sake, just give us some aroace characters. Q-Q

[saivii]

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how Nam-gyu hates women (which is fair), but I haven’t heard anyone mention that he basically hates everyone.

Out of everyone this man interacts with, the only characters he doesn’t directly insult are Thanos and Gyeong-su. But as soon as Thanos dies, he grumbles and talks shit about Thanos too (though I think part of him actually misses/cares about Thanos, but that’s a whole different story. He has a love/hate relationship with Thanos) and he mostly ignores Gyeong-su apart from laughing at him when Gyeong-su talks to Thanos for the first time.

He definitely hates Se-mi, but he also hates Myung-gi, Min-su, In-ho, and everyone who voted x. He’s such a hater and I live for it.

If I recall correctly, Se-mi is the only woman he interacts with and he hates her because she stands up to him and makes fun of his shaky hands. And that’s petty of him to hate her for that, but he’s petty! He hates people who challenge him or go against him in any way or people who point out his flaws because he seems to hate coming across as weak or not having any power.

Also maybe I’m taking this too seriously but can we not do the whole “he hates women so that makes him gay” thing? It’s totally fine to headcanon him as gay but the idea of misogyny defining being gay is just not it to me. Maybe it’s because I’ve had misogyny directed at me mostly by straight men and those experiences have been painful, so the implication of “teehee he’s a misogynist so that makes him gay” kinda feels invalidating and it feels kinda homophobic too.

Tldr: my boy is a HATER!!! He’s not just a menace to women he’s a menace to society and I think that’s beautiful 😌

[babymangosworld]

How did bro not see the signs that she was obviously a lesbian

[objects-i-find-cute]

Record Player

[silver-horse]

unfortunately I have opinions about the ascendant astarion ending and I have been holding back from saying it. but it's a problem that applies to the whole game and it's been annoying me

what's actually weird about the ascendant "romance" scene is that the writer considers it a tempting option for the player. They wrote it to be bad, but they also think it's a fun and sexy option. Same goes for the haarlep scene which they also wrote that way because they find it sexy. Except finding this sexually appealing entirely hinges on the idea that the player is a submissive. So RIP to a scene that the rest of us could have found sexy because the lead narrative designer was a submissive. lmao

In this game you can have a scene where you have to kneel for a male character. But you can never have a male character do the same for you. (Halsin doesn't count. It's a vanilla scene, he is not submissive there and we are not even asking/telling him to kneel down) You don't get such options, not even if you play a drow female! RIP the number one reason for playing drow female to be honest. lol You can kneel and fully submit to ascendant astarion or fully submit to mizora or fully submit to haarlep or submit to lae'zel or submit to minthara. you can get whipped by abdirak or you can tell him "touch me and lose a hand" he even responds positively to this remark and yet the possibility to flip the dynamic doesn't exist. There is never an option where a male character truly submits to the player. RIP to a scene that would have been the opposite of the traditional dynamic. the potential that existed but they never used the opportunity

By the way, how interesting that Lae'zel is dominant but she is a woman so ofc you get the option to tell her “no you will submit to me”. You never get such switch options with any of the male characters... Obviously it's not ascendant where they could have made that an option. My point is that it's NEVER an option among so many male characters.

It's a cool idea that the bad ending in a romance means "I saw this character as a sex object" except it falls apart when the scene is very sexually unappealing to anyone who is more dominant leaning. If I see a character as a sex object then I would place them in sexual situations which are appealing to me. so the message doesn't quite work. because there isn't anything that I can selfishly choose for myself just because I like it and I find it sexy.

[dayurno]

need exy to have a penalty box and be real bc can you imagine kevin day getting put in timeout being pissed as hell. pulling off his helmet to see the replay better on the jumbotron and the cameras showing his swearing (no audio) because he thinks it’s a bullshit call. yeah

HED BE SO PISSED OFF but honestly it would be so delicious.......................... sweaty and panting in the penalty box with a scowl that could freeze hell over its seriously.............. we'd have to stop the game i would get too horny to keep going. theyd need to lock me up id foam at the mouth like a dog with rabies

[butchvamp]

also speaking of banters there’s a banter between Emmrich and Lucanis that i think implies Lucanis tried to woo Viago at some point? i can’t possibly think of who else he could be talking about here:

Emmrich: Lucanis, were you really spurned once for gifting someone a knife? Lucanis: Not "spurned" so much as ignored. I just... don't have Illario's gift for flirting. Emmrich: Well, we all approach things in our own way. Emmrich: Who was it, if I might ask? The recipient of your gift? Lucanis: A crow from another house. It was a long time ago. Lucanis: You've met him. He's very... particular.

first: lmao at Lucanis giving Emmrich advice that wasn't even successful for himself. and lmao at Emmrich being nosy as hell.

second: i really like the way this game acknowledges companions' past relationships (and current ones outside of the player), particularly when it forces the player to acknowledge their sexuality.

i really like this banter you can get with Neve and Emmrich, too:

Neve: Look, Emmrich, I wasn't trying to pry before, about where you came from. Emmrich: I don't speak of it often, but I'd never deny it. Emmrich: Besides, I asked about your methods. You've quite the eye for detail. Neve: I just notice things. This girl I was sweet on, in Dock Town, always saved her candles like you do. I bought her a little oil lamp. Emmrich: How lovely. Neve: Didn't burn forever. But it was nice while it did.

i know Bellara and Irelin were also together at some point, and of course Harding and Taash get together, Emmrich and Strife, etc.

[gottagobackintime]

I've seen some people say: “Trent shouldn’t have been gay, he should have just supported Colin anyway.” And it's such a weird (and bad) take.

Had Trent been straight we wouldn’t have gotten the scenes we did. Colin could have opened up and told Trent how he felt, but Trent wouldn’t have understood, he could have been supportive. But he wouldn’t understand where Colin is coming from. But because Trent is also gay he knows what it’s like being in the closet, living with fear and dread. Living with thoughts like “if I tell the people I love about my sexuality, will they hate me?”. You can’t get that from a straight ally, no matter how supportive and well meaning they are. Because they don't know what it's like. We need straight allies, we need all the straight allies we can get. But what Colin needs RIGHT NOW is someone who, while not a professional athlete, is involved in the world of football. Knows about homophobic fans, knows that there are a culture of toxic masculinity and homophobia in the clubs. That is why it’s important that Trent himself is gay.

Colin almost got runover by a cyclist in his desperate attempt to run away from Trent at the gay bar. But the relief when he understands what Trent is saying "I must have a good reason for that, mustn't I?" is so clear. Trent is also queer, Trent is safe, I can let Trent in.

And I think some people might read that line as "I haven't outed you because I'm gay too, but if I had been straight I would have" which isn't what Trent means, Trent is using that phrase to be subtle, to let Colin come to his own conclusion, because Colin is stressed out, he's scared. By letting Colin think for himself it gives Colin an opportunity to calm down (which is also why Trent holds his hands out as if calming a frightened animal, he also makes himself slightly smaller by bending his knees and leaning forward slightly). And he does, he realises what Trent is saying and he calms down. It's also an added layer of security it's not just, "I haven't outed you" it's "I haven't outed you because I am also queer". A straight person saying that they haven't outed you doesn't hold as much weight as a queer person saying it. Because you know that the queer person knows how important it is to be safe and to come out on your own terms wheras a straight person, especially an eager well meaning ally might try and encourage you to come out because "hey, it's gonna be fine", even when that's not the support you need at the moment (there are ofc exceptions, both when it comes to straight people and queer people).

But because Trent is also gay, Colin now has someone in his corner at work, who knows him, knows his secret. Who also carried that secret himself once. We’ll most likely get straight allies in the other players and the leaders at Richmond.

So no, Trent shouldn’t have been straight. Because that is not the support Colin needed at that moment. He needed queer solidarity.

[ichimatsufreak]

some silly dvd player we found, not sure if it entirely works but the tray opens just fine so i have hope :-)

[objects-i-find-cute]

Walkman

[absolutelyzoned]

super helldive squids is WAY too easy. on my hands and knees begging for new enemy types. whose dick do i need to suck.

[birf]

was xavier an ally in your dream

I mean Xavier is queer in my mind

I don’t remember the in depth convo but I brought up this lnds tiktok I saw of “would you love me if I was a worm” and he was describing how he’d love me in any form as long as it’s you, IDK there’s was like an understanding of “I’d love you regardless of gender” and I said the same thing to him

anyways the rest of my dream I was trapped in my old school from snow kinda scary