#not sure what to name byte...

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can I request a Spamton X F!Reader where Spamton has a bake sale in his dumpster selling moldy cupcakes and such, so the reader teaches him how to bake cupcakes?-Art anon

"YOU! Light n eR! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MY [First Customer] OF THE DAY?!! YOU MUST BE DYING OF STARVATION! TRY MY SPECIL [Byte-Sized Cupcake] NOW! TAKES ONLY EIGHT BITES TO FINISH AND IMPROVES YOUR [Internet Speed]! [Side Effects Include Nausea and Loss of Appetite]."

"Oh goodie, another vendor." You strapped your weapon to your back as you looked at the poorly-made booth, which surrounded the dumpster. A banner hanged loosely above it, reading "SPAMTON'S B@KE S@LE" with a picture of Spamton--ripped off of one of the old posters around the city and plastered onto it.

You've visited bake sales in the Card Dark World. Simple, but clean and organized as opposed to this incredibly sketchy booth. The metal scraps and poles used were rusted and looked very unstable.

You accepted the free cupcake anyway and gazed at it for a moment. It was tiny, fitting between your thumb and index finger, covered in goopy blue frosting with a WIFI symbol topping it, which was....covered in molds.

Any sane person would immediately throw it away.

But you didn't wanna be rude since he did give it to you for free and you were apparently his first customer.

So you sucked it up and took a bite.

At first it wasn't too bad...until the eighth bite.

*Bad choice. Your HP was halved!

'Ouch..I don't think I'm gonna recover from that for a while..' You grunted as you held your stomach for a moment, waiting for the discomfort to pass.

"OH I'M SORRY YOU'RE NOT [Customer Satisfaction Guaranteed], LITTLE SPONGE!" Spamton observed. "AS AN APOLOGY FOR YOUR [Unpleasant Experience], CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A BURNED CD BAGEL INSTEAD? BETTER THAN THE CRAP THOSE [Three Stooges] ROBOTS SELL, THAT'S FOR SURE!!"

Sure enough, the "burned cd bagel" looked exactly like a regular cd bagel, but burnt around the edges. And when you hesitantly tried it you heard your favorite music genre in a distorted tone, with different pitches and static overlay.

*All your HP was restored

'Thank god.'

"Okay...that one was better."

"GREAT!! THAT'LL BE $264627563 KROMER!"

"....are you shitting me? You gave them away for free."

"AH, NO I DIDN'T!" Spamton cheekily wagged his finger at you with a much wider grin. "I NEVER NAMED THE PRICE! YOU JUST TOOK 'EM WITHOUT QUESTIONING ME! WHATDYA THINK THIS IS?! A [Free Sample Shop] DOWN THE STREET?!"

You probably should've known better than to blindly trust this guy to give away free food. Hell, "spam" was in his name. That should've been an obvious red flag. Now you were stuck wondering how on earth you could repay him...you don't think it's physically possible to carry that much money anyway.

Though as you looked at his booth, and the way he was dressed in such messy clothes and had splotches of dirt all over his porcelain face, you realized he probably wasn't doing this with malicious intent.

He was struggling. And considering the old posters of his face, you deduced that he was popular and successful at one time and..for whatever reason his life went downhill, leading to him selling unwanted garbage and ripoffs of actual edible food.

This was desperation.

But as you thought of his food, you remembered your hobby as a baker back in the Light World. You accidentally entered this Dark World when you visited the Librarby to look for new cookbooks, and figured out how this place worked pretty fast with battles and such.

So...maybe there's another way you can repay him.

"You're right, I shouldn't have assumed that. But what if...I made a deal with you?"

Spamton's eyes seemed to bug out as he sprang up, gripping the dumpster's edge with eagerness. "A DEAL?? WHATDYA HAVE IN MIND?"

"I'm a baker in my free time so..how about I repay you by showing you how to bake?"

"............"

"Uh..I mean your food is impressive presentation-wise. I can see the appeal. But I can help you improve their quality and taste."

"LISTEN, I'M A SALESMAN, NOT A [Betty Crocker] WANNABE." He scoffed with a slight frown. "NOW WHAT'S YOUR PREFERRED [Method Of Payment]? CASH? CARD? CHECK? [Hyperlink Blocked]? DEBIT? CRED-"

"I can help you sell them to customers better. That's the point." You clarified, hoping he'd understand.

"....WELL WHY DIDN'T YA SAY SO?!!" He laughed after a brief pause. "I'LL TAKE THE DEAL! SINCE YOU'RE SUCH A [Charming Ladies Near You], YOUR DEBT WILL BE FORGIVEN-!"

But as Spamton tried jumping out of the dumpster, he accidentally hit his head on the sign. This set off a chain reaction that ended with the entire booth crashing down on top of him.

"...ow.."

"Oh jeez! Are you okay?" You blurted out despite knowing the obvious answer, removing the rubble to find the poor robotic puppet trapped underneath. You took off the poster that covered his face, seeing his glasses go dark.

"I'm no construction worker but..I'll help you make your booth look more presentable, too." Picking him up, you gently lifted him out of the dumpster and set him on the ground.

The color returned to his glasses as he smiled up at you, dusting off his suit. "THANKS, LIGHT ner!"

You just returned the smile and set off for your temporary home in this world, with Spamton following closely behind.

But in the end, even with the improved recipe for byte-sized cupcakes (and the now reasonable prices), he refused to relocate his shop to any busy parts of the city. He preferred to stay in the trash zone or in hidden alleys away from the people. Only a few Maus purchased his desserts, and they complained about the lack of cheese ingredients.

You thought he needed help working his way up; that's why you agreed to help him to begin with. So to see him stay at the same place where you first met him made you feel like he scammed you again.

But when you questioned him, he admitted to scamming you...for your kindness rather than money.

He went on to explain how you're the only Lightner to give him a chance, and he latched onto you, wanting to spend quality time with you. He enjoyed learning to bake and building a new booth with you even though he didn't care much about succeeding at his bake sales.

After that, well..you couldn't be mad at him anymore.

Why should you be? You got a new friend out of this experience and finally got to teach someone about your passion for baking.

It's a win-win.

[accio-victuuri]

🍭🍬 : wang laoshi’s “Twenty”

Before we start, let’s take a moment to appreciate the masterpiece that is his new single 🎵 Despite his busy schedule, he still managed to do this. Happy New Year to Us! THIS IS HIS TIME. not trying to take it away by clowning, I’m very much aware that this song is HIM. It’s Yibo’s. It’s his gift to his fans and people who will hear it and need that message in their lives right now.

I already did a primer, with the first teaser photo we got over here ( Yi ) .

Okay, let’s go. 💪🏻

Part One

The Lyrics poster for the song was released 12/27. It was a simple design, to emphasize more on the lyrics. TRANSLATION IS OVER HERE. This is when we realized that the song will be called 20.

• A possible meaning to the number : 廿 is twenty, it means 挚and 爱 which both has 10 strokes, so twenty also means 挚爱 (True Love/Beloved). 20 kadian also 爱你 (love you).

• Initially, people were screaming because he used he/him instead of her.

• The lines were first thought to be that from a heart monitor. People got that impression first because of the fake rumor before that they send each other their heartbeat recordings ( from apple watch ) to each other. However, further research into it, more bxgs agreed that it’s more of the pattern you see in sound bytes. a stretched out version of it.

• this bxg tried to match what is being said, it’s “xiao zhan” and when you put it side by side to how Bobo says his name— it’s very close. 👀

• at TWENTY, Yibo was cast as LWJ in CQL. He filmed with Xiao Zhan and got to know him. You can say that it’s an important year for him.

• Initial clues from the teaser lyrics. “shooting star” / meteor which is a recurring theme for both of them. and that line “returning with you”. With who yibo?

Part Two

The Teaser audio was released 12/29, a short clip giving us a glimpse of what it will sound like and an album art (?)

When you first look at it, the art seems to be a hand painted work. Which reminds most of us of GG’s ideal life painting.

Now let’s look at the other details ⤵️

• The caption on this post mentions a glimmer that breaks through the night. It could be interpreted as Bobo being the “lonely star” but he’s not alone anymore. There is already a light in his life.

• I’m just adding it here even if i don’t personally buy it, but some bxgs are saying they see some images in the clouds. ☁️

• Now I’ll be going on some shooting star/star reference and why it makes bxgs 👀. Just a quick recap, to those who are familiar, this is not new to you. 1.) Kepler. The lyrics GG changed, i’m in love with a lonely star. 2.) In an interview, GG said, a person you love coming to your life, he likened to a shooting star suddenly appearing 3.) Bobo’s Kimi No Nawa wallpaper, which I discussed here. 4.) The Brightest Star in the Night Sky, which a song GG performed on CCTV. and in an episode of TTXS, when asked about a song, DLS said he thought Yibo would choose ( to describe himself ) .. you guessed it... Brightest Star in the Night Sky. 5.) His moto suit, which as this point, we are 95% sure is designed by GG. not just because of details, we have unofficial bts material that has them talking about GG designing on for him. lol. It has a shooting star.

• there in a LRLG rumor of Web speaking to GG on the phone, asking for a painting. 🎨

BONUS: same day, YBO and XZS posted the same time. time stamp of 20, which is the song title. and in the photos of XZS post, there is a literal NUMBER TWENTY. There are so many photos they can use as a template, so why that? And in the eve of Bobo’s single release.

Part Three

Single Artwork 💡

It looks like we were not clowned this year, there is a definite “theme” to this release. With this one looking like a hand painted work again. A Light. Light spot anyone? lol. Is the consulting designer of YBO at work here? 🤣

• QQ music and Kugou Music has two different covers, in a way that QQ’s is more refined. Compared to the other’s that you can clearly see the strokes.

• Another detective moment of details we can see. It’s not a stretch to think that there are hidden things in this art. It’s just that we can’t CONFIRM it. It’s all up for interpretation. But when I first saw it, I really thought there was a figure of a person.

Part Four

The SONG itself ; Take note that lyrics are not written by Yibo. but it’s not impossible to think that he had some sort of input. I don’t think he will be okay to release a personal single that doesn’t speak to him. lyrics translation here and here.

The write up of streaming platforms for this song is as follows:

>>Wang Yibo's new solo single "Twenty" >>Twenty is officially launchedon @酷狗音乐, this is a unique song. The story of the song belongs not only to Wang Yibo, but also to everyone who keeps the faith "Twenty" and strives to shine in the dim night.

>> At the end of 2021, @UNIQ-王一博 will speak again as a singer, once a year, perform this "" Twenty ", in this cold winter, ignites the faith to continue to run for us. The world is so big that all sentient beings are small; but we are not dust, but stars scattered on the earth. This world has never been dimmed, because we use our dreams as light to warm ourselves and illuminate each other, You are not alone.

• There is an intro, and his voice comes on at 00:23 timestamp. He has an affinity to the numbers 2 and 3 *coughs* summer surf shop *coughs*. 23. Also means Ai Zhan.

• the “He” came up at 23 and 105 seconds mark.

• a part of the lyrics had 1 2 3 4 at the start of each line. Also, stand up = 站 is the same pronunciation as 战. and it’s a part that keeps on repeating.

• LISTEN TO THIS part at 3:08, some people are saying the harmony sounds like 🐰

• Parallels to Guang Dian 🤍

I already posted this earlier but I’m just gonna put it here.

Yibo : ( explanation of his song in streaming platforms ) we are not dust, but stars scattered on the earth. // Soon, he sees hope and realizes there are many like him and he is not alone and is one amongst many shooting stars.

Xiao Zhan : we’re all made of shooting stars

Again, Yibo did not write this but the message is (probably) close to him enough that he decided to release it as his single. If we know anything about Yibo, everything he puts out has “him” all over it. The two songs have the same theme of “unity” / “we” , you are not alone. We are here for each other to succeed and love even if times are tough.

It’s not toxic positivity, they acknowledge that life is tough. It’s not always gonna be good but you still gotta fight cause things will be better. You have people with you. It’s such a good message cause celebrities like them, even with lots of fans, their life tends to get lonely. They are like other people too. We’re all sharing the same struggle. 🙏🏼

• Their similar state of mind & values / experience:

🐷: (about 20 song ) ... The dream chaser in front of you who never gives up ...

🐰: dreams never end

This is why they both got along as fast as they did back in 2018. If you look at them, they are different. Yibo is the active one who likes dangerous sports and making legos/ ride motos. Xiao Zhan is the artistic type who doesn’t even know how to properly ride a bike. the one who smiles alot. But those are just surface level things. What matters most are their values.

They both had struggles in reaching their dreams, during filming of UT, they mentioned talking about their desire to be Actors. How they will take acting classes. It’s more than just making money and becoming popular for them. It’s their dream. It never ends, they are always looking our for the next thing to do. New thing to try. There will always be a new dream to reach and they have each other every step of the way. ✨

BONUS: kadian for Bobo’s post about his new single. Let’s Add!!!

That’s all for now. I will edit and update this as needed.

sources:

https://m.weibo.cn/detail/4718994932633127

https://m.weibo.cn/detail/4718983549026933

https://m.weibo.cn/detail/4719019141629488

https://m.weibo.cn/detail/4719748934012736

https://m.weibo.cn/detail/4719691320265546

https://m.weibo.cn/detail/4720074155887624

https://m.weibo.cn/detail/4720074600222535

https://m.weibo.cn/detail/4720074655007744

https://m.weibo.cn/detail/4720070011392263

[moonfurthetemmie]

Acknowledgement of the DS Verses (Part 6)

Some blood, but that’s about it

Previous | Next

“We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news from Justice Reigns.”

Cross booed and threw a piece of popcorn at the TV. “Bring Undernovella back, you whores!”

Hunter shifted in his blanket nest on the arm chair. He’d wanted to join them on the couch, but they’d refused. Now, he seemed much more interested in the TV. He was probably curious about their version of Dream.

Dream was standing at his little podium that he was usually at during big press conferences, or the rare emergency news. The alarming lack of reporters in the room indicated that this was an emergency.

Cross and Error quickly came to the same conclusion, and soon all four of them were sat forward and watching anxiously.

Dream’s voice came through the surround sound speakers clearly, and after a quick, formal greeting to the masses, he got straight to the point.

“A few days ago, JR was made aware of the existence of another multiverse-” The Meme Squad looked over at Hunter. Hunter looked back at them. They all snickered.

“-by the very violent and bloody entrance of three people from it.”

The laughter stopped suddenly, and the Meme Squad immediately turned their attention back to the TV. An image popped up on the screen. It was frame of a security camera video. Most of the room was blurred out, but the three people in the middle of the frame were very clear. And the large, dark red splatters around the room, even blurred, were definitely blood.

“These three have been identified as alternate versions of the Meme Squad-“ The image split into three, and zoomed in on the three’s faces.

Nightmare’s alternate had a sharp, piercing look in his eyes, blood on his chin, and a sadistic grin. Cross’ looked like a slasher movie villainess already, even without all the scars and the blood across her face. The other Error was much less bloodied, but looked no less innocent. Something in her eyes made her look just as deranged as the other two.

“The three have been given code names, to distinguish between these three and the Meme Squad.”

Three names popped up under the alternates’ images. Nightmare’s alternate was ‘Pluto’, Cross’ was ‘Slash’, and Error’s was ‘Byte.’

“I cannot emphasize enough how dangerous these three are,” Dream continued, his tone shifting to urgency. “They already have a body count over twenty, and that’s only the murders known to us. They are experts of disguise, and stealth. Do not attempt to approach them, and do not go anywhere alone. It’s highly unlikely they will separate. If you see them, call the emergency JR hotline immediately. They are officially JR’s highest priority, and we will do our absolute best to apprehend them and deal with them, as swiftly as possible. We do not know where they may be, but we have some suspicions that they will be looking for the Meme Squad, though their exact motives for this are unknown.”

Oh. Oh no.

Error pulled the blanket around herself more. Cross just stared at the screen. A horrible thought slowly rose in Nightmare’s mind, and he began to feel sick.

Dream continued on, just running through some ways to try to stay safe, and reminding everyone what the emergency JR hotline even was. Error finally just grabbed the remote and turned it off.

“…Hey…what are the chances of them pretending to be us?” Nightmare wondered. “Since…they’ll probably hear about that broadcast really quickly, if they didn’t get to watch it right away.”

“I don’t think they’d do that,” Hunter chirped. He seemed to be in disturbingly high spirits. “It wouldn’t be any fun for them, then, and they usually don’t like it when other people are given credit for what they did.” He re-adjusted the blanket on his lap, calm as ever. “They might disguise themselves as you guys to go around easier, but they won’t try to frame you for anything, I don’t think.”

Nightmare stared at him. “You don’t think.” He repeated. “Well, that sure makes me feel safe.”Hunter giggled. “I’m sure it’ll be fine!”

They didn’t feel like it would be fine.

[yournightowl]

Your Night Owl #001

i don’t know what i'll be when i grow up, but i’ll never be a journalist. 

Journalists are basically despised in our country. i’m pretty sure it’s the same everywhere else. Everyone figures that there’s only two types of people working in media:

Hollowbrained conspiracy huffing idiots

Sameless sell-out begging for scraps underneath the tables where state and corporate meet to break bread and ruin our lives

That’s all basically true, but i also think there’s a third type: the ones with enough disposable income and raw bravery to write whatever they want regardless of how little money, or traction, or clout, or SEO there is to be made off of it. 

i could never be that kind of journalist.

i’m not even brave enough to sign my name at the bottom here.

But i do like research, and writing, and i think it would be nice if some people somewhere could see what i’ve researched and what i write. So if i’m never going to make a career of this, it’ll always only ever be my hobby, i figured that theres no harm no foul in starting while i’m young.

So today i’m starting my blog: Your Night Owl.

Don’t give me any crap about the name. The net’s been around since the 1980’s. Even if you think nothing before 2056 counts as “real internet” that’s still decades and decades and prefixes and prefixes of bytes worth of names for shit. There can’t be that many good original names left for anything, on here, blogs included.

The name’s not changing. To change the subject-

Like everyone else with net access and at least two braincells, i’ve heard a lot of chatter about a certain serial “Un-Alive-er”/dt who likes to “ping”/dt people through the “center of their cardiovascular system”/dt. (Sorry about all the double-type, but i’m really not trying to get Slapped on my very first blog post)

Heard, not read. The spoken word has to be transcribed before it can be scanned for "certain words and phrases”/dt so micro-casts and Snippets and Call-outs  are the only things staying up long enough that you can actually interact with them. But in the short-lived comment sections and tags on those posts, I’ve been seeing people use “</3” as doubletype.

“Less-than slash three,” was my first honest impression. 

It really took me a half minute to sound out what it meant, because i didn’t recognize the heart. i hadn’t seen it a long time, which is a shame, because <3 is cute.  We stopped using it at some point, or at least people my age did. Why?

i gave it some thought, looked through some old texts, CTRL+F’d a few forums and got my answer in the form of a slap to the face.

We stopped using <3 because we started using <D. We traded The Heart for The Lightbulb.

Everyone in my class uses The Lightbulb for anything cool or fun or generally positive. The Lightbulb which, upon closer inspection, really doesn’t look like a lightbulb. More like a parachute or an ice cream cone.

So why do we call it The Lightbulb

Because The Lightbulb is the logo of Noble Electronics Technology Incorporated.

It’s no accident. Noble’s one of the biggest corps that’s ever been, with whole armies of employees and contractors dedicated to cultivating a very specific brand image. Turns out, a few years back some of those soldiers started a little PR campaign (throwing buckets greasy with money to a huge range of net influencers and personas) to get people to start using <D instead of <3. 

Sounds forced, right, ha-ha? Well you’re laughing at yourself, not them-  because it worked. Just by spending money in the right places, a small group of people managed to convince us all that <3 < <D.

(See what i did there? i used < as Less Than)

This isn’t a conspiracy theory, because there’s no conspiracy involved (they’re very open about this).

i got all this info straight from their own post-mortem (which features a step-by-step breakdown of every step of the campaign) listed under the “Success Stories” tab on the marketing firm’s website. It was only three clicks removed from their home page.

Sorry for all the censoring, but i had to cut out a critical mass or even this literal screenshot could get flagged.  At least Noble’s so big that they can’t possibly police how people talk about them. i can criticize them by name here- Yay!

i have to squint very hard, but i can make out one silver lining in all this: the once pure <3 emoticon that Noble ordered lobotomized has come roaring back to life all because there’s an unhinged un-alive-er/dt on the loose. It’s nice to know that the almighty corporations’ bottom lines can still be shaken by a single individual armed with nothing but a    ̿̿/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿   and the voices whispering poison in their head.

(sorry if the emoticon doesn’t look right from where you’re reading but i don’t know a shorter doubletype than Those Things That Have Triggers and Safeties)

To be perfectly clear: i’m no fan of </3.

But i do think <3 is worth saving. so i’ll be doing what I can to reclaim it, because it’s cute and fun, and we shouldn’t let corporations take all the cute and fun stuff from us.

Sorry for editorializing towards the end here. 

Actually, you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t care about what i have to say.

My bad. i won’t apologize for that kind of thing from here on out.

Signing off for now,

yoru night owl

edit: to everyone in the comments: i didn’t actually make a typo! Yoru has a meaning. look it up!!

edit2: i forgot my signature

ε(^O◇O^)3

[booloocrew-blog]

SharkBait- Splatoon Idol OCs

Sharky: "Al-RIGHT! Strutting our fins live from Inkopolis Studios, iiiiiit's SharkBait!"

Inky: "She's Sharky, I'm Inky, and we're ready to take a bite out of this news! Let's get to it!"

*** Inky: "...Oh no. The producers have that face again. Read the teleprompter, Sharky."

Sharky: "This just in- oh. my. gosh. The Great Zapfish has been stolen! AGAIN!!!!"

Inky: (sigh) "You know, you'd think they'd have better security on that thing. Hopefully it'll be back to our home turf before this whole town goes lights out."

*** Sharky: "Current battle stages inkcoming!"

Inky: "Let's see what they are, shall we?"

*** Inky: "Looks like we're getting new weapons today..."

Sharky: "Can't wait to test 'em out on the turf!"

Inky: "I'm sure Sheldon would love to give you pointers."

Sharky: "Hey, don't comment on my turf war skills like that..."

***

Inky: "And that's not all, Mahi-Mahi Resort is open for turf wars!"

Sharky: "Brand new stage alert! Oh my god, this is so ink-exciting!"

Inky: "I know! Watch out for the water levels when inking out there, folks, they rise and fall as much as Sharky's fin-tastic vocals!"

Sharky: (teasingly, blushing) "Quit it, Inky, not in front of the cameras…"

*** Inky: "Before we get to the stages, we have a special announcement for y'all..."

Sharky: "Oooooh! Is it Splatfest time?!? I'm waiting with baited breath!" Inky: "Why, yes, it is, Sharky. (teasingly) I see your excitement is boiling over again..."

Sharky: "(excitedly) Shell yeah it is! What's the theme? What's the theme?"

Inky: "Hang on, I'm getting to it. The theme for this Splatfest is..."

Sharky: "Drum roll please!"

*** Sharky: "Well, that's all for now."

Inky: "Until we meet again, remember-"

Both: "-Stay strong, Shark on!"

***

SharkBait is a rock/pop fusion focused duo of idols consisting of Sharky and Inky. Sharky (real name Coral, she hates being called that in public though) is an energetic, outgoing octoling while Inky (real name...Inky) is a somewhat reserved tomboy inkling. They're the subs for inkopolis news while Pearl and Marina do agent stuff, before getting long term sub news duties while Off the Hook does DLC-related stuff in Splatsville.

Their songs are as punny as they are, combining rocking guitar melodies and somewhat dark lyrics with bouncy pop beats and a energetic atmosphere. Not only did they cover Shark Bytes from Off the Hook (propelling them to fame), but they also sing songs with such titles as Baited Breath, StarFishin', Shoreline Shanty, Sea Me (Hunt You), Shark Season, Sirenity, and their most popular song sung at splatfests, Hook/Line/Singer.

[midnight-and-his-melodiverse]

happy storyteller saturday! do any of your characters have any pets? if I asked them about their pets what sorts of fun stories might they share? :D

Hey Logan, thanks for the ask! Also Happy STS to you, too! So, characters having pets, you ask? I can surely oblige to that!

In the Melody Blade Saga's canon, the antagonist to Midnight, Dev, has an adorable little hellhound named Soapie! The reasoning for that name is because of the fact that she cleans up Dev's base of operations (which strangely enough, is an apartment outfitted with laser doors and strange maze puzzles, designed to deter any intruders from getting in)

In the Goblin Theft Auto canon, the goblin misfits end up meeting a magical black cat named Naida, who is the stewardess of the Sunlight Library, belonging as a pet to Cassius Penwood's daughter (Cassius Penwood is the founder of Penwood City!)

In the Stars, Bits, and Bytes canon, the Titania crew adopts a little dog that a group of space pirates had wrongly kidnapped, and names them Andromeda after Ottava's favorite constellation, which she was born under!

Now for the fun stories that they may share about their pets... Melody Blade Saga: Dev likes remembering the time that he found Soapie at the pet store and instantly adored her. When they got home however, she cleaned up the apartment so fast and killed the janitor of the apartment in the process, sprinting back and playing with the pile of their bones, and Dev instantly decided right there that Soapie was a pet worth keeping!

I have no fun pet stories for Goblin Theft Auto, yet hehe

Stars, Bits, and Bytes: A funny story about Andromeda is the time that Intra initiated, Andromeda instantly started barking at the AI.

[little-fam-ily]

Build a Bear (Sanders Sides Agere Oneshot)

Read it on ao3

Rating: G

Word Count: 4,079

Characters: CG Logan and Patton, Agere Virgil

Pairings: Queerplatonic Analogical, platonic Analogicality

Warnings: Kink mention

Summary: In which Logan and Virgil take a trip to Build a Bear (brought to you by a Build a Bear employee).

Virgil’s eyes widened as he stared at the commercial on the TV. It was for Build a Bear, talking about how you can put different sounds in ‘your new furry friends’. He smiled around his pacifier. “Lolo!��� He called to Logan, his caregiver.

Logan popped his head in from the kitchen, “What is it?” 

Virgil pointed to the TV. Logan was able to catch just the end of the ad. “Virgil, I don’t think-” He stopped himself as he looked at Virgil’s wide, pleading eyes. “Oh, oh Virgil, don’t,” He sighed, “You know what the puppy eyes do to me.”

Virgil just let out a whine. Logan looked at him sternly, “You know they’re very expensive, Virgil.”

He nodded, “I know…” He glanced away, cheeks red. Logan shook his head, thinking about it, “Well, it’s almost your birthday anyway, We’ll make a day of it.”

Virgil smiled wide, “Weally?”

Logan nodded, “Really really.”

Virgil jumped up and embraced him in a hug, squeezing tight, “T’ank you, Lolo!”

Soon the day came, and Virgil and Logan sat in the car, getting ready to go into the mall. Virgil was sucking his thumb, and Logan was looking at him with concern, “Do you think you can be big enough to pass?”

Virgil glanced at him, cheeks turning pink. He dragged his thumb out of his mouth, stopping at the tip where he could still bite down.

Logan sighed, “Better.” He paused before he spoke up again, “Virgil, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You don’t have to hide it if you don’t want to.”

Virgil whined, “I jus’, don’ wan’ people t’inking i’s kink.” He murmured around his thumb.

Logan nodded, “That’s understandable. But what we do is none of their business. I’m pretty sure the average person doesn’t care, and if they do, then they’re not a good person.”

Virgil glanced away. Logan let out a sympathetic breath, “Well, if you’re ready I’m ready.”

Virgil nodded. Logan stepped out of the car, then helped Virgil out of the car. They walked into the mall holding hands.

The line to Build a Bear was already a mile long. They got in, and Virgil was ancy with anticipation. The wait seemed like hours. Logan could tell he was getting impatient, so he squeezed his hand. They smiled at each other.

Finally they got to the door. They were greeted by a young woman with long brown hair and a wide smile. Her name tag read Valerie.

“Hey there! What brings you to the workshop today?” She smiled. Virgil panicked, looking to Logan for help.

“It’s his birthday next week, but I thought I’d take him early.” Logan turned to her. Her smile grew wider, “Wow, that’s great!” She got out a sharpie and a pack of stickers from her apron, “How old are you turning, sweetheart?”

Virgil took a deep breath, preparing himself to answer, “Twenty.”

“And your name?”

“V-” He started, but stopped himself, having to pause for another moment, “Virgil.”

She wrote everything down, tearing the sticker off and handing it to him, “And have you built a bear with us before?”

Logan and Virgil glanced at each other, then back to her, shaking their heads. 

Valerie kept her smile, “So to your left is the wall where we have our whole selection of bears to choose from. Once you pick your new friend you’ll head over to the sound station to pick any scents or sounds that you’d like. 

“Then you’ll come around over to that blue square where we’ll stuff your friend and perform the heart ceremony. After we get them stitched up you’ll go to the back wall to get their clothing and accessories, head to Station 4 to give them a name, and then you’ll be all ready to check out and take your new friend home!”

Virgil’s breathing became shallow. That was a lot to keep track of. Logan sensed his anxiety, squeezing his hand, “Ready to head on in?”

He looked at him, hesitantly nodding his head. Valerie opened the rope barrier and stepped aside, gesturing for them to enter.

They stepped in, and Virgil was already overwhelmed by the large selection of stuffed animals. There were more than bears, there were rabbits and cats and monkeys and unicorns. There were themed bears too, like Frozen and Star Wars and Paw Patrol.

Virgil’s eyes scanned the wall, biting down on his thumb hard. Logan stepped up to him, “I know it’s a lot to think about, and there are a lot of steps, but I remember all of it, and I will be with you every step of the way.”

Virgil nodded, then his eyes widened as they settled on a fluffy brown bear with the Harry Potter logo printed on its back paw. He pointed to it, “Harry Potter bear.”

Logan smirked, “You want that one? We can put some Ravenclaw accessories on it.”

Virgil smiled wide, nodding. He grabbed the unstuffed pelt and felt the fur, holding it close to his chest.

Logan smiled at his little, then noticed the birthday sticker still in his hand. “Here, let me help you with that,” He took the sticker, peeled it off the back, and stuck it right on Virgil’s jacket, “There we go.”

Virgil smiled at him, leaning on his chest. They stayed like that for a bit, then a young man with an apron walked up to them with a smile, “Have we picked our new friend?”

Virgil looked at Logan, then at the man, who’s name tag read Terrence, nodding.

“Alright! Right this way,” Terrence beckoned them over to a white counter with computers on each end. He reached for Virgil’s bear, “Can I see him real quick?”

Virgil glanced at Logan, then hesitantly handed over the pelt. Terrence pulled a sharpie out of his apron and started writing on the tag, “I see your name is Virgil, is that right?”

Virgil nodded. Terrence put the sharpie away, “And I can also see it’s your birthday! Well, have a very happy birthday,” He smiled, then continued, “Now, we have some scents you can choose from. We have strawberry, birthday cake, cotton candy, and bubblegum.”

Both Virgil and Logan took some time smelling the scents. “Strawberry,” Virgil decided.

“Alright!” Terrence got out his sharpie and wrote some things down on the tag, then took an unopened scent packet, peeled a sticker off, then stuck the sticker on the tag. The scent was a plastic disk shaped like a bear head.

“Now we get to pick a sound we put in the paw of the bear right here.” He showed them the right paw, which had a little heart shaped patch on it.

Virgil smiled. This was the part he was the most excited for. 

Terrence moved to one of the computer monitors, “Here is the sound station, we have a huge selection of sounds to choose from. You can scroll up and down as well as side to side. There are generic animal sounds, themed sounds from movies and TV. I see you picked a Harry Potter bear, maybe you’d like a Harry Potter sound?”

Virgil thought about it, scrolling through the Harry Potter selection. He looked, but decided it would be best to just pick the theme from the movie.

He pressed the icon, jumping at the loud noise coming from the computer. Logan grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight, rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb.

“Alright, I’m just gonna scan his tag really quick.” Terrence moved the tag under the scanner. “Now you’re going to grab one of those chips,” He pointed to a hole in the counter which housed a bunch of plastic sound bytes shaped like bear heads. Virgil did as he was told, holding it tight.

“Place it right here,” He pointed to a little divot in the counter where the chip fit perfectly. Virgil set it right in. Then Terrence pressed the ‘buy’ button on the screen, which started loading. It only took a couple of seconds for the sound to be transferred to the chip.

“Great! Now press it to see if it works.” Terrence smiled. Virgil pressed it, holding it up to his ear. That was a bad idea, as he immediately had to move it away.

“Looks like it works!” Terrence chuckled, then took the chip and pushed it into the bear’s paw. “You’re all set! Once that group is done with their heart ceremony you’ll move right on up to that blue square where my friend Mr. Patton will get this little guy all stuffed up for yah.”

Logan and Virgil nodded. “Thank you,” Logan smiled, then turned towards the machine. Virgil tried to get a look at what was going on up ahead, but they were too far away to see or hear anything.

The wait seemed like forever, but soon it was their turn. The young man working the machine got up from his chair and turned towards them, “Alright folks, are we all good to go?”

Virgil smiled slightly as he noticed a shiny they/them pin on their apron. They had a mop of curly brown hair on their head, and circular glasses were perched on their freckled nose.

He looked at Logan, then nodded. Patton smiled, “Great! I’m gonna have you come around this way to that blue square over there.” They pointed to a large blue sticker on the floor next to the front counter. It had white paw prints on it.

They both stepped on the square, waiting to get started.

“See, the thing about this machine is that it needs energy to get it working, right?” Patton started as they put the pelt on the nozzle. “So that means you gotta either hop hop hop! Or clap clap clap! Or wiggle wiggle wiggle! To get the machine running. Do you think you can do that, kiddo?”

Virgil’s eyes widened as he blushed at the pet name. Yes, he did indeed want to clap clap clap, or hop hop hop, or wiggle wiggle wiggle, but he didn’t want to do it alone. He tugged on Logan’s sleeve. Logan blinked, “Oh, do I? Do I have to do it too?”

“If you want!” Patton smiled. Logan sighed, rolling his eyes, but nodded.

“Alright, let’s do this!” Patton exclaimed as they turned on the machine. Logan and Virgil started clapping, and Patton stepped on a pedal, moving the bear around the nozzle to get the stuffing in every limb, its chest, and its head.

“Alright! Great job kiddo!” Patton smiled as they took their foot off the pedal and the bear off the nozzle, checking it themself to see if it was the right softness.

“Now for the scent. Do you want it in the head or the belly?” They asked. Virgil bit down on his thumb. There were so many decisions to make! It was getting a bit much.

Logan sensed this, “We’ll do it in the belly.”

“Okay,” Patton smiled, taking the disc out of its plastic sleeve and slipping it into the bear through the hole in the back. 

“Now we get to choose a heart! There’s either a red satin heart or a checkered heart.” Patton picked up two felt hearts from two bins on the machine and held them up, “Which one would you like, kiddo?”

Virgil’s eyes flitted between the two. After a pause Patton spoke up, "I know, it's a hard decision to make."

After another moment Virgil decided on the red one, pointing to it. Patton smiled, "Alright!" They placed the heart to the side, then picked another heart up, this one big and plastic, "We also have a beating heart option! We put it in the chest of the bear, and when you press down on it, it beats like a heart!"

Virgil’s eyes widened. He looked at Logan with them, pouting his lip a little. Logan smiled at him, giving him a nod. Virgil turned back to Patton, nodding enthusiastically.

"Okay!" Patton smiled, taking a heart, peeling the sticker off, and putting the sticker on the tag. They then placed the heart right in the front of the bear’s chest where a human’s heart would be.

“Now,” Patton said as they got up from their chair and took the now stuffed bear and the heart to the counter Logan and Virgil were standing next to. 

“We are going to perform what is called the ‘squish test’. Which means you take your new friend and you give him the biggest hug that you possibly can!” They wrapped their arms around themself, “To see if he’s either as soft or firm enough as you want.”

They turned to Logan, “And if he’s too firm we can always take stuffing out, and if he’s too soft we can always put stuffing in.”

Logan nodded, then turned to Virgil, “Do you want to give him a hug?”

Virgil nodded, walking up to where the bear was sitting and grabbing it, feeling its arms, legs, chest, and head. He then embraced it in his arms, holding it as tight as he could. He smiled as he felt the pulsing of the heartbeat.

“Is he good?” Patton asked. Virgil turned to him, nodding. 

“Perfect!” They smiled, “If you would put your friend back on the hug station, we are going to perform the Heart Ceremony,” They put emphasis on the last two words, “The most important step in this entire process! You’re going to take your heart.”

It took a minute for the request to process in his brain, but Virgil went back to the counter, put the bear back where it was sitting, and grabbed his heart.

“Now we gotta get it beating, alright kiddo? So you’re going to take it, hold it up like this,” They held it high above their head. Virgil did the same.

“And you gotta wiggle it like this!” Patton started waving their hand around. A smile broke out on Virgil’s face as he mimicked their movements. They wiggled for a moment, Patton giggling, “Do you think you got it beating, kiddo?”

Virgil nodded, smile not fading. Patton smiled at him, “Alright, now you’re going to go to your new friend, and you gotta wave it in his ears so that he’s a good listener!”

Virgil stepped over to the bear and waved the heart over its ears.

“Wave it on his arms so he can give you great big hugs!”

He waved it over its arms.

“Wave it on his legs so he can run and play with you all day!”

He waved it over its legs.

“Now grip your heart, hold it close, and make a great big wish!”

He held it close to his chest, closed his eyes and made his wish, I wish for me and Logan to live together forever.

“Did you make your wish?” Patton smiled. Virgil opened his eyes, smiling back as he nodded.

“Great! Now you get to do the honor of putting that heart into your friend through the hole in the back.”

Virgil grabbed the bear and shoved the heart in as far as it could go. 

Patton gave a nod, “Alright, now if you would put your friend back on the hug station and step right back on that blue square, I’m gonna do the hard job of stitching him up, okay?”

Virgil nodded, doing as he was told. Patton stepped up to the counter and started pulling on the stitches. They glanced at Virgil's sticker, “I see it’s your birthday today!”

“In a week,” Logan corrected them. They nodded, “Oh! Okay, well, happy early birthday!” They looked closer, “And you’re turning twenty! Wow! I turned twenty this January!”

“Interesting.” Logan commented. Patton tied the last knot, cutting the extra string off. “Alright! This little guy is good to go! I’m gonna have you come around this way,” they pointed to their right, “to the back to pick out his clothing and accessories. Then you’ll take that tag to station 4 and scan it to give him his name!”

“Alright, thank you.” Logan smiled, leading Virgil around the direction Patton pointed them towards. Virgil looked back one last time to see Patton waving at him. He waved back shyly.

Thankfully the Harry Potter clothing section was right next to the stuffed animal section. Virgil’s eyes scanned the wall. He definitely wanted the traditional robes and a wand. But then he spotted a Quidditch uniform, along with a broom and a snitch.

He gasped slightly, turning to Logan, who nodded, “You can get both outfits if you’d like.”

Virgil whined, “But i’s ‘spensive…” He glanced away, biting his thumb.

Logan chuckled, “Virgil, it’s your birthday, and it’s you. You’re worth it. Besides, I’m getting paid soon anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.”

Virgil scrunched his nose, but took both the normal uniform and accessories and the Quidditch uniform and accessories off the hangers. He had to get on his tip-toes to reach some of them, but he got the hang of it.

“I’m guessing he’s a seeker, hm?” Logan hummed. Virgil nodded. Logan gave a nod back, “Alright, let’s give him a name, shall we?”

They walked over to the back corner on the other side of the store, where Station 4 was. Logan pressed some buttons, scanned the tag, and a menu popped up asking them to put in information for the bear’s birth certificate.

Now it was time to pick a name. Virgil bit down on his thumb, thinking very hard. Logan tilted his head, “What would you like to name him?”

Virgil smiled mischievously, “Logan!”

Logan scoffed, “Virgil, please. Pick an original name!”

“I’s original! ‘N Logan’s my favorite name!” Virgil beamed, turning back to the screen and typing in the name, “Logan the seeker.”

After the bear’s birth certificate was printed out, they walked up to the cash register. The young man standing at the register’s name tag read Joan. “Alright, are we all set?”

Logan nodded, putting all their findings on the counter. Virgil bit down on his thumb as he watched Joan scan the tags, starting to zone out. He wasn’t really interested in this part.

“Would you like to dress it here or when you get home?” Joan asked him. His eyes widened as he was snapped out of his daydreaming. He looked at them, then at Logan, then back to them. “Um, home,” He responded, now ancy to leave.

“Alright, would you like to hold it or put it in a box?” They asked. Virgil whined a bit under his breath. This was way too many questions for one day. “Box.”

Joan nodded at his firm answer. “Alright, with all of the accessories, your total comes out to one hundred and thirty five dollars, and forty five cents.”

Virgil gasped, looking at Logan with concern. That was a huge number. Logan just smiled at him reassuringly, “It’s alright Virgil, I really don’t mind,” He turned to Joan, “He’s a little concerned with money right now.”

“Oh I totally understand that,” They gave a smile, “I mean, I’m working two jobs and even I can’t afford to pay rent sometimes.” They turned back to the computer, muttering to themself, “Late stage capitalism.”

They took the bear and put it in a box, then bagged up all the clothes, “You should be all set. Oh! It’s your birthday! We have to ring the birthday bell!”

As they picked up a large bell from the shelf behind them, Logan squeezed Virgil’s hand, “It’s going to make a very loud noise, Virgil.”

Virgil looked at him as he braced himself. The loud ring of the bell crashed in his ears, running through his entire body. He cringed as he shut his eyes, stopping himself from covering his ears.

Then it was over, and he was able to open his eyes again. Logan leaned into his ear, “Good job.” He smiled. Virgil smiled back.

Then they were all good to go. Logan took the box and the bag, and grabbed Virgil’s hand as he led both of them out.

“Have a good day, kiddo!” Patton called with a smile as they walked past the machine. They both glanced at them. “Thank you.” Logan said before finally reaching the door.

“So, what did you wish for during the heart ceremony?” Logan asked as they took their purchases and headed for other stores, mostly Hot Topic.

“I tan’t tell you!” Virgil teased, “Or it won’t tome true.”

---------------------------------------------------------

Patton smiled to themself as they walked into the back room, unlocking their locker and taking their backpack out. Once they made sure everything was still in check, they took their apron off and slipped it in their locker, closing it and locking it again.

Today was another great day at work. Patton loved their job, really loved their job. They got to interact with all the cute kids and families that came in, and they adored all the smiles and giggles the heart ceremony provided.

There was always at least one memorable family that came in, and today it was a young couple, one of which had his birthday today. His name was Virgil, Patton remembered.

He was memorable because of one fact. Patton could see it in his eyes, in his posture, in his energy.

Patton got to meet a little.

They themself had been a babysitter for a couple of years now. Their friend Roman was a little, and when her partner Janus was busy, Patton got to babysit her. It brought them a lot of comfort and happiness, and they one day hoped to have a little of their own.

A pang of disappointment hit their chest. Virgil seemed so adorable and fun and loving, but it looked like he already had a caregiver. But they were happy for him nonetheless.

They brought themself out of their thoughts as they headed on out, waving goodbye to their coworkers. Their brisk walking speed got them to the food court fairly quickly, where they planned to have sushi for lunch.

But their eyes widened as they caught sight of a couple across the food court. It was Virgil and his caregiver! A smile broke out on their face, and they knew they had to take this opportunity to get to know them better.

They rushed to Virgil’s table, slowing down a bit as they got closer, “Hey! You guys are still here!”

They both turned to them, and Virgil jumped, quickly taking his thumb out of his mouth. His caregiver nodded, “Yes, we took a bit of time to do some extra shopping and get some food.”

“Yeah, I’m glad I was able to catch you guys! It was just the end of my shift so…” They smiled, trailing off a bit. “We didn’t really get to actually meet. I’m Patton!” They held out their hand.

“Logan,” Virgil’s caregiver took it, shaking firmly. Virgil just waved slightly, “Virgil.”

“Yeah, well, it was really nice to meet you guys! I hope you had fun, I always do.” They laughed nervously, trying so desperately not to make it awkward.

“Yes, I can confirm that our experience was most enjoyable, don’t you agree, Virgil?” Logan said, then turned to him. He nodded with a small smile on his face.

Patton stood there for a moment. They knew what they wanted to do, they just didn’t know if they had the guts to actually do it. “Hey, I don’t usually do stuff like this, but, can I get your guys’ Instagrams?”

“Oh, I don’t have one, but, Virgil? If that’s alright with you?” Logan asked him. He looked to Logan, then to Patton, but eventually nodded. 

Patton smiled wide, “Great! Uh, here’s my phone, you can just put it in.” They handed Virgil their phone. He took it, quickly typing in his username in the search bar. He handed it back to them, a shy smile on his face.

“Great! Thank you! Again, it was really nice meeting you!” Patton beamed.

“It was a pleasure meeting you as well, Patton.” Logan responded. Virgil nodded in agreement.

Patton let out a sigh of relief, giving one last wave before heading down the food court the other way. They couldn’t help but continue to smile as they skipped along, soon reaching the sushi restaurant. They didn’t know how yet, but they knew this was the start of something special.

[darwin-xf]

Love is a Verb

His dick knew things.

In general, thinking with your little head not your big one got a bad rap.

But for him? The opposite seemed to apply.

Of course he’d been mortified when he sprung to life in her hand the night before, with Scully in full on doctor mode, acting so clinical and detached. While he was so very very exposed.

A wave of anger arose in the wake of his humiliation. At her. Which wasn’t fair. She was doing him a favor, after all. Examining him, because they were stuck in a crap motel in the middle of nowhere Florida, the day after a hurricane, flights snafued, roads clogged with debris. And him with a sea monster bite on his neck and an angry itchy red rash on his dick to match. She was caring for him, just like she always did. Even though neither one of them was exactly comfortable about the prospect.

But now, considering what that moment of vulnerability had led to, he was glad it happened. And hardly surprised.

And when his big head has been muddled and confused on a night a few weeks before? His dick had shown the way forward. When a different woman had laid her hands on him, slipped her tongue into his mouth.

He didn’t want her. He felt like a block of wood as she kissed him and touched him. And yet he let it happen. His mind filled with a fuzzy gray static as she whispered to him how she needed him, how she’d never stopped loving him, until she was kneeling on the floor in front of him. She opened his pants and he let her, hungry for something she was offering. He would think a lot about that later.

But then his dick was in her mouth. And she worked it, employed all her little tricks. And still it stayed soft.

Until, giving up, she stood. She crossed the room and poured herself a scotch. He tucked his junk in his pants and zipped up. Not even embarrassed.

“You love her,” Diana said, her back to him.

He nodded. “I do.”

“But Fox,” she said, closing the distance between them, sitting down next to him, “She doesn’t know you like I do. There’s so much I want to give you...”

She launched into the pitch he’d heard from her before. Since she returned, she’d been whispering to him whenever she could get him alone, offering him access. “There are so many things we can accomplish together, Fox. Why would you want to keep toiling in the dark when you can shape the future of the human race? You’ve more than earned your seat at the table. And your voice is needed there...”

Though he never really felt engaged in these conversations, his big head listened to what Diana had to say.

But the little one was more persuasive. Not to mention more persistent. The truth was, Scully had been the only one able to get him off for months. Though of course she hadn’t touched him.

His extensive collection of salacious videotapes these days stayed tucked in their hiding places, moldering in their cases. The magazines delivered to his door each month, Penthouse and Hustler and Escort and Razzle and Club, remained stacked on his entryway table, their spines uncracked, their pages unperused. Most with the black no-see-um wrapper still intact.

A fact Scully discovered while visiting his apartment a few weeks before. She turned up on the late side one evening, work on her mind, files in her hand, her body tucked dutifully away in some dark suit.

“Oh that,” he said when she placed her palm on the towering cache of smut, popped an eyebrow in his direction. She had spent enough time in his space to understand that this was a departure from his usual behavior, where his porn was concerned. Whereby he’d rip the covers off the mags as soon as they arrived and leaf through them, looking for anything particularly good. He’d turn down the corners of memorable pages then leave them piled haphazardly around his place: on end tables, under the fishtank, next to his bed.

The explanation was not something he was prepared to share. So he thought fast, and invented something on the fly that seemed remotely plausible. “Yeah, the boys tell me that those are going to be collector's items soon. Print is dead, Scully. Everyone making the switch from atoms to bits and bytes. Paper’s so pulpy and inefficient. I have a book on it somewhere...” He riffled through his bookshelf, glad to escape her excruciating gaze. He plucked out a book and handed her a copy of Being Digital by Nicholas Negroponte. “He’s a smart guy. You should check it out.”

His effort to distract her was in vain. She put the book aside without glancing at the cover and continued to silently cross-examine him. He pretended to be interested in another book he’d pulled at random, but the moment stretched on uncomfortably. "I thought I could get more for them if they remained in pristine condition,” he said as he paged through the book he wasn’t reading. For all he knew he was holding it upside down. “You know how people keep their Star Wars toys in the boxes with the cellophane on?”

She shrugged, unconvinced. But she moved on, willing to let it go. Her stacked heels clacked obnoxiously against his hardwood floors as she slowly made her way into his living room.

He doubted she wanted to know the real reason. Though he was pretty sure he could turn the tables on her if he blurted it out. It would serve her right for the way she roamed around his apartment and let her eyes light on his stuff, storing her little data points in that mind, trying to figure him out. But maybe one day the tea leaves of his pitiable life she seemed so eager to read would finally speak to her. Maybe it would occur to her what was actually going on.

Which was that every time he touched himself, he imagined it was her hand. And he would try to switch things over, open one of his skin mags— his trusty strategy for years when it came to getting his thoughts off his partner and back where they belonged —but it wasn’t working anymore.

He’d listlessly page through the glossies, looking for a promising spread, land on some blowjob scene and eyeball it for a while. But when he got down to business it, was her mouth on him, warm and receptive, her eyes on his face, his hands in her coppery hair. He’d smolder for a while, thinking of her lips, her strong small hands, and always her eyes, then feverishly work himself up. And the magazine, forgotten, would slip away onto the floor.

On the bright side, his inappropriate intrusive fixation on his FBI partner was saving him two hundred bucks a month he used to spend on phone sex. The last time he dialed in he couldn’t even get it up. So he spilled his guts to one of his regular providers, droning on for forty-five minutes about how he had it bad for his partner, all the things she did that made him crazy, the reasons he couldn’t tell her. Realizing even therapy would be cheaper, and feeling like a terrible cliché, he’d quit calling those numbers.

His videos were his last line of defense. Their absorbing input had always been able to capture his attention, so he’d try one of those. It might work for a few minutes, but the real action was behind his eyes. In his mind it was her heels digging in to the small of his back as he plunged into her tight little cunt. She’d be beneath him hot and panting, open her mouth to moan and he’d stuff his fingers in, slide them wetly against her tongue. Soon he’d be picking up the pace... The television would blare fruitlessly in the background, rife with bad dialogue and silicone silo tits and oh babys. The money shot would come and go, unseen by him, and the screen would fade to black.

The reason porn had quit working was simple: in his fantasies, she always comes too. Usually more than once. He’d start slow, imagine he was taking his time kissing his way down her body. That could take a while. Then he’d tease her, rubbing the fat head of his cock up and down her slit. When she begged him to, he’d slip inside her and slam his hips forward. He’d hold there, bottomed out, and kiss her sweet mouth. Then he’d slide it in and out, looking into her eyes, feeling every inch of her.

Soon he’d need to fuck her harder, faster. He’d reach down to tease her clit until she was thrashing and pleading. Then she’d say his name, and her face would change, and she’d come on his dick. He’d watch her ride it out, humming with pleasure as her warm wet circles broke against him and travelled up his body in waves. Till his nuts and his gut and his heart and his throat and his brain were replete with her. Finally he’d come, imagining he was cradled by her hips and rocking, buried deep inside her, spilling his secrets into her ear.

In his dirty busy mind he’d already had her so many places and ways: in showers and motel beds, in cars and elevators, bent over his desk at work, the door unlocked, her skirt bunched around her waist, her drugstore pantyhose dangling from her ankle. Quick or slow or sweet or mean, acrobatic or missionary, rough or tender. Or both. God. Even boring. Just the two of them in his bed, nose to nose under the covers, whispering and giggling and whiling away a Sunday morning.

And the most pathetic and woebegone detail? Sometimes his fantasies contained no sex at all. He wanted to watch a movie with her feet parked in his lap. He wanted to shop for groceries with her and hold her hand on the walk home. To spend a weekend with her on the Vinyard and show her his old high school. He wanted to rub her back when she was sad and play footsie with her under the table during boring budget meetings. He wanted to gather her close and kiss her eyelids and hold her in his arms as she fell asleep. To watch her to rise naked from his bed and pull on his clothes she’d just stripped from his body. On red eye flights he wanted to leave the arm rest up and snuggle with her under those dingy felt blankets. To read to her while she soaked in the tub and find the nooks and hollows of her body where she was ticklish. He wanted to make her giggle, make her laugh, make her cry happy tears. He wanted to make her wet just with his voice. To lay in bed and watch while she got dressed for church. He wanted to kiss her in front of her idiot brother, maybe even slip her a tasteful amount of tongue. To shower with her before work, to soap her up and shampoo her hair. He wanted to stock his fridge with an assortment of her gross non-dairy yogurts.

Scully. Before she’d even descended into his office and introduced herself, he assumed she was a plant. Or a dupe, a patsy. Why else would a promising and talented young agent be conscripted to his lonely, disrespected division? Most likely she’d already agreed to keep tabs on him, to cast his work in a negative light. And even if she hadn’t, he was certain she’d be manipulated, using the lever of her obvious ambition, into doing so. He also suspected, since she’d spent most of her time thus far in the FBI in the lab or the classroom, that she was a house cat. The kind of agent who might hold romantic notions about working in the field, but who would soon balk at the grueling, unpredictable hours, the endless travel, the physical grind. And blanch at the dangers. It’s no kind of life for anybody who wants a life.

By the time their flight touched down in Oregon on that first case, he knew for sure that she was fun to spar with. And all kinds of smart. And even sort of cute. And while it can obviously be helpful to have a partner if things go sideways, he remembers hoping that didn’t happen to them before she washed out and retreated back to the lab. Because he suspected this itty bitty pathologist with zero field experience and impractical footwear? Would be more likely to become a liability than properly cover his flank.

After they’d worked a half dozen cases together, it was fair to say he’d reconsidered the hasty assumptions he’d made about Scully. Which is to say she surprised him at every turn. Except on the couple of occasions when she’d astonished him, leaving him flat-footed and slack-jawed in her wake. Against all odds, he had himself a partner. Which is not to say he fully trusted her. Not yet. And he doubted she’d hang around much longer.

But still. He’d learned that she was game. Skeptical and rational, but up for anything. She never complained about bad food or lumpy beds. And courageous, staring down firearms pushed in her face without blinking. She was fearless and cagy, and could take a punch or dish one out. And in the next moment she could soften, to connect with a suspect or a victim, to care for a child, or for him. She believed deeply in what she was doing. When he bumbled into trouble, which he seemed to have a knack for, she more than had his back. Yet when she’d sided with him and blew off her buddies from the Academy? It wasn’t loyalty to him she was demonstrating, but to the victims. To the truth. Above all, Scully was honest.

In some ways, he knew her so well. Yet all these years later there was there were aspects to her he could only guess at. Scully, he’d come to understand, was a deeply private person. Didn’t give pieces of herself away in idle conversation, like most people do. The fact that he was a trained and skilled profiler didn’t seem to help. In his fevered mind he’d become preoccupied with the things he didn’t know about her. Like how, exactly, does she like to be touched? He thought about that a lot. Is she a morning sex person? (God he hoped so.) Is she loud in bed? Or more quiet and intense? A little repressed, or wild and uninhibited? He could imagine it either way. Is she bossy? Submissive? A little of both? What does she taste like? Does she talk dirty? Will she like it when he does? (Because he definitely does.) How would he tease her? What are her kinks? Does she like it rough? And if he wanted to go down on her for hours, would she be okay with that?

So, yeah. He loved her.

That switch had been flicked for him on a steamy summer evening, a moment when he’d been staring down the real possibility of losing her. She walked away. He followed her, flew out his door like he’d been shot out of a cannon. Stormed up to her where she’d turned to face him in his hallway. Fists clenched, voice raised, he was in full on fighting mode. But he wasn’t fighting her. He was fighting to keep her. So instead of telling her off, as his body language suggested he might, he told her what she meant to him. How he needed her. Things he hadn’t even realized before they came out of his mouth. But all of it the truth.

She’d been girded and resolute, her body rigid and self-contained. But then she broke, like a marionette whose strings had been cut, she softened and stepped into his embrace. He looked in her impossibly blue eyes glinting with tears and realized with dreadful certainty that, Christ, he was going to kiss his partner. More than that, if she let him, he was going to pick her up and carry her back through the door of his apartment and lay her down and fuck her.

That plan had been derailed, but the urge for him remained. And not long after, he gathered his courage and, with all the earnestness he could muster, he’d looked her in the eyes and confessed.

So he’d told her that he loved her. But had he shown her?

That was a thorny question, and it made him uncomfortable to consider it. Because he had to admit that for the most part, he hadn’t.

It was strange, but once his feelings for Scully had shifted, his behavior toward her had become less loving. For one thing, he didn’t let her in on that fact that she’d become the only featured player in his secret late-nite fantasy theatre. But more than that, he found himself especially irritable with her. Dismissive. Self-centered. Sometimes even cold.

When he was looking for an excuse to be angry with her, he told himself a story that she’d rejected him. Because, oh brother. But he’d seen her eyes go wide for an instant, felt her animal panic. She’d pored over his hospital chart and had to know he wasn’t high. So he’d concluded that she didn’t want him. Didn’t love him.

And Fowley’d chosen that inopportune moment to skip back over the pond and make a play for his ass. And though he had no interest in rekindling that relationship, just having her around reminded him of all the reasons it just might be a bad idea to get tangled up sexually with your partner.

More than that, even though he knew that Scully felt insecure because of Diana for several legitimate reasons, he hadn’t bothered to reassure her that she had nothing to worry about. When Diana called him and invited him downstairs for lunch, he’d go. Mostly to be near his files, and to mine the trashcans for cases when her back was turned. But he’d steal away from the bullpen, not tell Scully where he was off to, or why. He let her twist in the wind, wondering who Diana was to him and what her reappearance meant for their partnership.

It would make sense that once you’ve discovered the person you love, the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your days (not even to mention nights), the person who is, quite possibly, it for you? That you would try to make that happen. To lock that down. And yet he seemed to be doing everything but.

Even after she’d been shot by Ritter, and he’d almost lost her again.

And why was that? How to explain this puzzling behavior.

Maybe she didn’t want him, and he was just protecting himself.

The thing was, when he was being honest, he knew that wasn’t true. When he’d been about to kiss her in his hallway, she’d looked confused at first. And then concerned, with real fear flashing in her eyes. But by the time his lips were hovering over hers? They were on the same page. She’d gone molten in his arms, and her mouth awaited his, wet and ready. His body remembered how she’d opened to him, with her sweet breath and her fingers on his neck. He knew in his bones how that encounter would have ended, if not for that stupid fucking bee. Recalled it every chance he got.

As a psychologist, looking at the situation objectively? He’d have to conclude that he was engaging in some epic self-sabotage. Yup.

That night in her apartment when Diana had made her intentions clear, he’d agreed like some kind of docile sheep to join her. To scrum up with the other chosen few at El Rico Air Force Base as Armageddon loomed and save himself at the expense of the rest of humanity. And Scully, even though he wasn’t by her side where he belonged, was still fighting. For him, For them. For the truth. For the future.

And to repay her for her steadfast faith in him and devotion to their work? He was flirting with the one thing that could tear them apart. With inflicting a betrayal that could send her packing for good.

They’d dodged a bullet that night. More than that, they’d gotten their files back, and were free to resume their work. And by any measure he should have felt relieved. But he woke the next morning with a hangover worse than any he’d ever gotten from liquor. He looked in the mirror to shave and realized he couldn’t even meet his own gaze. He was ashamed. And he had to admit that he’d been seduced by Diana after all. Not into bed, but into complacency.

Needing some time and space to think things through, he called Skinner and redeemed a few vacation days. He threw some clothes in a bag and set out driving, not sure of his destination.

On the road, heading north, armed with this new clarity, he mulled things over. How was he going to feel, he wondered, when he succeeded and chased her away? That seemed to be his end game, after all. He knew what he’d do. He’d track her down to wherever she’d absconded to and interrupt her as she attempted to reboot her life. Then, looking desperate and half mad, he’d profess his love.

But it would be too late. She would conclude, quite logically, that he only wanted her when she was leaving. And even if she loved him like he hoped she might, she would not settle for that. Not Scully. And it would be selfish of him to ask her to.

It hit him then, with complete and utter clarity, that he had no idea how to love someone. He’d had bad models and a dearth of life experience in that arena. He knew how he felt. But love is a verb. It’s about what you do. She had taught him that.

He was good with the grand gestures, sure. Tracking her down at the bottom of the world and fishing her out of an enormous alien vessel, for example. Then breathing life back into her and hauling her to the surface while sidestepping rabid lizard monsters who swiped at them with razor-edged claws? Check.

But she needed more. For him to find mundane ways to express his care and concern, perhaps. To show her how much she mattered to him. How much he valued her and all the ways she contributed to their work. To his life. She needed to see that he put her first. She deserved these things. She had earned them. And he knew wouldn’t let him glimpse her secret self, let him know her like he desperately wanted to, until he gave them to her.

He wasn’t sure he could do it. But he knew he had to try.

He decided to start right away. He’d been thinking of her all morning, of course. About celebrating their return by pressing her her against a wall in their office and pushing into her, fucking her breathless and senseless before lunch, to be exact. But he hadn’t thought of her at all, he realized. Not really.

Scully. She’d be there right now, in the basement waiting for him, their first day back where they belonged. Wondering where he could be with half the morning gone. Bewildered as to what might be keeping him from reclaiming his precious turf. Maybe she already talked to Skinner and knew he was taking a few days off. Maybe she’d be worried. Or pissed. Or worse, wondering if he was enjoying a morning lounging in bed with a treacherous leggy brunette.

At the next rest stop, he pulled off and powered up his cell phone. He was relieved to see that he'd missed a call from her. She hadn’t given up on him yet.

Rather than listen to her message, he dialed her back. She answered on the third ring.

“Hey Mulder,” she said.

“Hey Scully,” he said. “Are you in the office?”

“I am,” she said. “Where I thought for sure you would be. Skinner told me you were on vacation. What’s going on?” Her voice was brittle. Defensive.

“I will be, Scully. I’ll meet you there. And soon. But I need to take care of a few things first.”

“Okay,” she said thoughtfully. “What kinds of things?”

“I, ah, I need to get my head straight before coming back. I’ve been mixed up. About some stuff.”

“I see,” she said.

They were both quiet for long seconds.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Me?” The question surprised her. “I’m good. Enjoying the quiet. Working on expense reports. Glad to be out of the bullpen.”

“You sure? You were popular, Scully. I think Agent Kargoll was working up the nerve to ask you out.” Mulder would glare at him as he brought her a donut on a little plate in the mornings. He’d leave it on the corner of the desk if she wasn’t in yet, like an offering to the high priestess.

“Yep,” she said. “I noticed that too. Reassigned in the nick of time...”

“I did my best to scare him off...”

“He was persistent, I’ll give him that.”

“He seemed like a nice enough guy. You could do worse than landing a boyfriend who arrives bearing gifts every morning...”

“I could do better, too.”

“No doubt,” he said. “What would be better than that?”

“Hmm. Why do you ask?”

“Research,” he said.

“Research,” she repeated. “Okay. Let’s see. The bearing gifts is ok. But maybe someone with some sense of what I actually like?”

“Let me jot that down,” he said. She snorted a little laugh. Which warmed him all the way through. “It’s true, Scully, you’re not a big fan of donuts. I benefitted from his crush on you more than you did.”

“I tried to wait until he had his back turned before handing those off to you...”

“You’re very kind,” he said.

Just then a truck blew by on the highway, laying on the booming brake, rocking his car.

“Where are you?” she asked.

“I, ah, hit the road this morning. Just to think. Just to drive. But I suppose I’m heading home. To see my mother for a few days.”

“Everything okay?” she asked. He heard the concern in her voice, the fear that she’d be needing to tend to him trepanned and shocky, bail him out of jail. The usual.

“Yeah,” he said. “Or it will be. I really think it will be.”

“Allright Mulder,” she said after a long beat. “I’ll be holding down the fort. Drive safe. And keep in touch.”

“I will. And save me some of that paperwork, Scully.”

She laughed and hung up.

He had, in fact, visited his mother. She was glad to see him, and he stayed a few days, helped her out with some chores around the house. Got on a ladder and plucked the muck and leaves from the gutters, shifted some dusty furniture from the basement to the curb.

And he absorbed the silences of that house, his mother’s sadness, the way every possession, every exchange seemed steeped in a deep, abiding misery.

He remembered his mother different. Laughing, for example. Playing bridge with her friends, toying with her strand of pearls as she leaned in to gossip. Teasing him with a glint of joy in her eyes. Before Samantha had been taken.

It had broken her. Broken all of them. Now she ghosted around her own home, tending to her roses, watching television. Always alone. He lived much the same way. This was all that was left.

All because his father had been unable to protect them from the men he worked with, no matter how noble his intentions. The same men he had been tempted by Fowley to join up with, if he was telling the truth. Now they were reduced to ash. He had no idea what remained, but he knew he and Scully would find out.

By the time he climbed in his car to come home, he was committed to not making his father’s mistake. And to living differently. Less stubbornly solitary. To inviting some goodness into his life, no matter how strange it felt.

And last night, when it was actually happening, when he was wrapped up in bed with Scully in real life, it had been so vivid, so peculiar. As he rolled his naked frame against hers, time slowed down. In his head he heard the seconds ticking away distorted by doppler effect, whomp whomp. Felt his stiff prick slide against her buttery thigh, painfully slow. Pressed his ear to her chest. Imagined the steady squeeze and release of her heart beneath her breastbone. Heard the whoosh of her blood through her veins.

Looked up at her flushed face, this beautiful untamable breakable beast.

And he loved her.

He’d told her so.

Now he needed to show her.

Thanks for reading. Check it out at Ao3 This fic stands alone, but is also chapter 10 of Bedside Manner

[a-beast-with-teeth]

hi there!

my names Sylvester! i use he/it/the animal/bark/byte/blood/bit pronouns. 

I’m just a simple therian having fun on the interwebs!

this is a sideblog! my main is @the-ghost-of-bit-the-hand1987 ! comment replies, likes, & follows all come from there :]

~~~

Requests: currently open! [0]

What can you request?

Moodboards

Playlists

Outfits

What can I request these of?

Animal/Creature/Plant theriotypes/kins/etc. (woodpeckers, leafeons, jackalopes, cacti, etc.)

Monster (and other) theriotypes/kins/etc. (zombies, werewolves, harpys, angels, etc.)

Specific Technology theriotypes/kins/etc. (specific computers, idogs, viruses, etc.)

~~~

generally if someone i dont like interacts with me i’ll just block them, and DNIs dont really work all that well... but heres a basic one: 

DNI:

- the obvious (racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, pedofiles/zoophiles, ect.)

- losers who are super strict about words (ask yourself: “in this situation, is it any of my business what someone calls themself? is this actually hurting anyone? am i possibly missing information? am i disregarding history or someone’s personal experiences just because i feel a certain way about a topic? am i speaking over the people this might be affecting? do i have something better i could be doing with my time than worrying about strangers who aren’t actually hurting anyone?”)

- discourse accounts (i dont mind if you partake in it sometimes! but id prefer if you didnt interact with me if its like. all you post.)

- anti-kink. i totally get it if your blog has a “kink/nsfw/18+ accounts DNI” but if you yourself are fundamentally against kink then i think you are a weirdo and please do not interact with me. (i dont usually post anything nsfw/kink related though, just in case you were wondering)

~~~

if you wanna know about my theirotypes & see my tags, click to keep reading :]

~~~

in general, im an animal. my favorite words to describe myself are “beast” and “thing”. i consider my theriotypes more as parts of the animal i am than individual animals i identify as. they sort of all mush together to make the thing that i am! heres them listed:

- zombie

- general domestic dog(s?) (not sure of the specifics. one type is for sure a herding dog of some sort.)

- wolf (of some sort... i’ve never really been sure of the specifics..)

- alligator 

- goat/sheep (unsure of the specifics)

- tech of some sort (super unsure of the specifics. i feel a general kinship to most technology. from toasters to vcrs to smoke detectors to chargers to smart tvs, theyre all like brothers to me.)

- bat (unsure of the specifics. leaning towards fruit bats & vampire bats)

- skunk (not sure of the specifics. possibly striped skunk?)

- otter (not sure if river otter or sea otter)

- owl (not sure of the specifics. possibly barn owl?)

- penguin (unsure what type..)

- feline of some sort (likely domestic)

- maned wolf

~~~

heres my tags! 

#chomp -> want to chew on this

#yimyum -> want to eat this

#home -> feels like home

#sharp -> woah teeth

#mirror -> woah hey this looks like me (in some way, shape, or form)

#tail wag -> favorite posts

#buried -> posts to save 

#into the cart -> shopping list

#howling -> the moon

#barking -> posts i make / posts i add on to

[rynmaru]

Instability

Pollux was late.

198 hours, 27 minutes, and 16 seconds late.

Byte couldn’t worry, but statistics indicated that worry would be warranted at this time.

Of course, there were plenty of likely scenarios resulting in their absence. They could have been caught in their attempt to sneak away to get to the lab. They could be sick. They could be under higher surveillance. Or perhaps they had simply forgotten, Pollux was a very scattered individual after all.

Yet for all these logical and even probable reasons, Byte could not help but consider others. Less favorable ones.

Perhaps Pollux had gotten tired of him and had not even tried to come visit. Maybe they had been lying about coming back. But that one made no sense. Pollux did not lie. Not to him. Therefore Byte had a darker possibility, something he could not completely discount.

It was, of course, possible, that Pollux was dead.

That thought was not one he lingered on however, as whenever he considered it it made everything in him verge on an instability that bordered cascading. Perhaps this was what humans would classify as “fear.”

198 hours, 34 minutes, and 57 seconds.

He would be sure to tell Pollux how long they had been gone. To allow the weight of it to sink in. Byte had been very precise in his timekeeping, as he had little else to do. He had also been practicing talking, so he could actually communicate beyond impressions and echoing Pollux’s words.

That would certainly make them smile. That would be good.

Byte paced the confines of the small space he occupied in the vast grey static.

Then he tensed, straightening up as the measured pace of his own stream of consciousness was join by the equivalent of a whitewater river of thoughts.

Byte. Sorry. Late. Sorry. Scared. Sorry. Byte. Sorry. Hurry. Hurry! Sorry! Here! Byte!

“Byte!”

Pollux. In the space it took to think their name they were standing before him. As usual they were washed out in the monochromatic grey, white, and black of their shared headspace. All except for their eyes, their eyes were always a green so vibrant they appeared luminous in their contrast.

They reached for him and Byte stepped closer, holding out his hands so they could take them.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Byte! I tried to come sooner, I promise! I promise! I’m so sorry!” Pollux was near tears as their hands closed around Byte’s.

The contact intensified their link and Byte staggered briefly, overcome by sensations of grief, guilt, disorientation, and pain. So much pain.

His hands gripped Pollux’s back tightly.

“Pollux. You’re hurt.”

“Wh…what? Oh…no no I’m fine…don’t worry about me, Byte.”

“You’re in psychological distress. Your heart rate is elevated. You’re dazed. You have sedatives in your system. And nerve signals are indicating recent injuries to your back.” Byte’s white eyes bored into Pollux as they looked up at him, tears swimming in theirs. “You’re hurt, Pollux. What happened to you?”

Pollux slumped, bringing Byte’s hands to their forehead as they bowed their head, trembling. “Surgeries…to make me more like Castor…to try making me remember…”

Byte got rapid-fire impressions of the past week as they spoke. Strapped down to an operating table. A needle in their spine. Screaming. Thrashing. Crying. Pleading. Ignored. Drifting in a tank filled with blue fluid, tubes inserted into them, more needles directly through their skull and into their brain. They could feel it, but they couldn’t move. They had been thinking of him. Worrying he would be upset. Worrying he would think they lied. That they had abandoned him.

“You didn’t remember.”

“No…No…I wish I did but I didn’t…” Pollux’s voice broke at the admission.

“Why?” Byte cocked his head to the side quizzically.

Because if I remembered this would all stop!” Pollux stepped back, dropping Byte’s hands, shaking both of theirs out as they did so. “I’d get to come and go whenever I wanted! I could eat more than just the same three meals each day! I wouldn’t be tazed and sedated! I wouldn’t wake up after a week with net-ports wired into my body! I’d finally feel like his name actually belonged to me!”

Tears streamed down their cheeks and the force of their emotion broke against Byte’s stoic mind like waves against a jetty.

“But if you remember, you might not be who you are now. You might become him.”

“Who cares?! They don’t like Pollux! They like Castor! And nothing I’ve said or done has changed their minds on getting him back!”

They clutched at their head, fingers tugging at their short hair. The front curls of their widows peak had gone white. That was new.

The brief sensation of instability wracked Byte’s code again, as if every 0 and 1 glitched for a split second, though this time the monochromatic world was tinted red.

He reached out, his fingertips touching the white hair, and they lifted their head to look at him.

“I like Pollux.”

Pollux stared, taking a moment to register. Then their expression crumpled and they pressed their fists to their eyes as they broke down with heaving sobs.

Byte kept his hand on their head as relief and gratitude washed over him in waves.

“There, there.” He said, the flat delivery awkward and not doing justice to the sincerity of the gesture, but it made Pollux laugh, and that was enough to tell Byte that they would be alright.

“Th-thanks, Byte…” They sniffled, rubbing their eyes and managing a shaky smile. “That helps…”

He nodded seriously. “Good. Are you staying long today?”

“I don’t know…they were close behind me when I was running here…but I don’t want to leave…I don’t want to go back…I want to stay here forever…”

“That would be ill-advised.”

“I know…I know I’m just…” Pollux made a vague, helpless gesture, “Tired…”

Tired. Sad. Scared. Hurt. Hopeless.

Byte contemplated them for a long moment of silence.

“You could leave,” he finally said.

“What?” Pollux looked at a loss. “I just said I don’t want to.”

“Not just here. You could leave L.E.I.D.A.”

They exhaled sharply through their nose. Byte had learned that this was a form of a laugh. But it seemed like an incredulous laugh this time.

“Byte, I don’t think that’s possible. I’d have to get security clearance to get to the hangers, find a ship or someone to take us away. And that probably would cost money…and L.E.I.D.A. probably has a tracker somewhere in all the hardware they’ve put in me…And no offense, you’re heavy to move. The crypt’s really bulky so that would make getting anywhere difficult-“

“Why would you take me?” Byte asked, head tilted again. “That would be a tactical error.”

“Why wouldn’t I take you?” Pollux frowned. “You think I’d leave you here? Just let you stay and collect dust or get used by L.E.I.D.A. for something awful?”

“It is statistically unlikely that anyone at L.E.I.D.A. knows I exist so I do not think I’ll be put to any use.”

“That’s worse! You’d be alone! Forever! That’s not what you want, is it?”

That shudder again. That instability.

“For your safety and optimal chance of escape, this unit would advise you leave it behind.”

Pollux’s jaw set immediately at Byte’s tone and words.

“You’re coming with me, Byte. I’m not leaving you.”

Byte stared at them, unblinking. They returned the stare. He looked down.

“The decision is yours, Pollux.”

Pollux frowned even deeper, “No. it’s not. I don’t decide for you. I don’t make choices for you.”

Byte took a step back and shook his head, a vehement gesture more expressive than was usual for him. Though it was less a denial and more an expression of some form of distress and being overwhelmed. At least that’s how Pollux took it.

“Shh…shh it’s okay…it’s okay, Byte…I’m sorry, I know that’s still a lot for you but I don’t want to tell you what to do…”

Byte brought a clenched fist to the side of his head, knuckles pressed against his temple. Decisions were…hard. He was better at following direct orders. If given a task or if Pollux started a conversation he could carry it, but branching out on his own was difficult. He was getting better at it, but only with simple choices.

A hand rested over his, redirecting his focus. Pollux guided his hand away from his head and to his side.

“You got really good at talking while I was gone…” They said. “You practiced a lot, I can tell. Remember how you used to just repeat what I said?”

Byte nodded slowly, unsure where this was going. Pollux’s mind was always unpredictable.

“You’d choose the words that helped you make the best answer,” Pollux continued. “That worked great back then. So…why don’t we do that now? I’ll give you both options, and you just say the one that’s the best answer for you.”

Brow furrowed, Byte considered the idea. It didn’t make sense. Not really. He still would be required to make a decision. But he would humor them.

“Alright, Pollux.”

Pollux beamed, bouncing on their toes a little, “Okay, okay, okay! Byte, do you want to stay here at L.E.I.D.A. or do you want to leave with me and go somewhere far away where they won’t ever find us? Whatever you choose, I’ll respect.”

Logic dictated that he should stay. He was a liability to Pollux. Pollux wasn’t strong enough to carry his crypt. Pollux would be the one doing all the work. He wouldn’t be useful for anything. He would slow them down. He should stay. He had to stay. It was what was best for Pollux.

“This unit…”

Instability.

“This unit…would advise…”

Instability.

“This unit…want…wants…”

Instability.

Instability.

Instability.

Byte’s jaw clenched. Pollux needed to leave. Pollux needed to get away and start a new life far from L.E.I.D.A.’s clutches and Castor Creed’s legacy. They would make themself into someone distinct and incredible…and he wanted to be there to see it.

“I want to leave with you.”

Pollux beamed up at him, “Then I’ll take you with me.”

They held up their hand, pinky extended.

“Pinky promise.”

“That’s not a legally binding oath, Pollux.”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s about the intention!”

Shaking his head slowly, Byte imitated their gesture and Pollux linked their pinkies.

“We’re getting out of here, Byte. Together.”

Stability.

Equilibrium.

He had made the right choice.

“Together.”

[trainsinanime]

In the past few weeks I’ve built a model railroad signal for garden railways with a custom DCC decdoder. Here’s what it looks like:

I’ve heard from a number of people that they thought this was interesting, but they didn’t really understand what I was doing. So today I’ll try to explain the core of it all, this circuit board:

And here’s the associated circuit diagram:

I’ll try to explain why this is the way it is and what it does.

(This whole explanation is aimed at people who have never done anything with electronics before. If that’s not you, then this may be a bit boring. Also, I didn’t come up with any of the parts of this. Most of this is based on things I learned by reading OpenDCC and Mikrocontroller.net. I’m sure I still made a lot of mistakes, though, and they’re definitely all mine and not the fault of anyone on these sites.)

The goal

First let’s talk about requirements. My goal was to build an american signal type “Searchlight”. Such a signal has between one and three lamps. Thanks to a clever electromechanic design that moves different color filters around, each lamp can show different colors - up to three from a total selection of four.

Replicating this system for a model railroad is not practical. I need something else. Having multiple colored LEDs next to each other wouldn’t work; they’re too big and I want it to all look like one light source. There are LEDs that contain red, blue and green in one housing, but that would require a lot of wires quickly that all have to be put in the mast. The solution is this:

This is an “adressable” LED, better known under the name “Neopixel” used by a large american online store. There are many variations from different manufacturers. The key thing is that each LED has a tiny control circuit built right in. It takes four wires: Plus five volts, minus, data in and data out. If you have more than one, you can connect the data out of the first directly to the data in of the second and so on. Connect the plus and minus as well, and you can control almost unlimited amounts of LEDs with just three wires.

The data line has a special protocol that you need to generate. Basically you need to switch it from 0 to 5 to 0 volts again and again at a certain rate; the time it stays at 5 volts (“high”) determines whether you’re sending a 0 or a 1. From these bits you form bytes, which tell each LED what specific color value to send.

Due to this dataformat, you definitely need some electronic circuit controlling the signal, and the first requirements for this are:

Provide five volts DC power

Generate the data for the LEDs in the correct format

The Input

There are a lot of options for designing the input side of things. In my case, I’m assuming the signal is electrically connected to the rails of a model railroad that is controlled digitally. With digital command control (DCC), the voltage at the rails has a constant value of about 15 to 25 volts, larger for larger scales. This voltage constantly flips polarity; first plus is on the left rail, then it goes to the right rail (and minus vice versa), and then back. It’s like AC in normal wall outlets, but with very abrupt changes instead of a smooth sine wave.

This voltage has two tasks. First it supplies the locomotives with power, but it also transmits information. If one of these change-and-back sequences is long, it transmits a “0”; if it’s short, it transmits a “1”. These bits together then form the bytes that form the messages that say things like, “Locomotive three run at speed step 64” or “switch 10 switch to direction left”.

This decoder uses both features. The digital voltage provides both the data and the power. For a locomotive, that is required since the only conductors you have are the rails. This is a stationary decoder, so I could have designed it so that it only uses digital commands, and gets the power from an external power supply. However, I wanted to use the least amount of cables, so I’m using the simple version.

With that, the requirements are fixed. The circuit has to:

Turn the digital power (15-25 Volts, AC-ish) into 5 Volts DC

Read and understand the digital data signal (decode it, hence the name “decoder”) and calculate the colors for the LEDs.

Computation

This calculation is the real key here. The digital signal has a completely different fromat than what the LEDs expect. It’s slower, but also has completely different meaning. At best it transmits “set switch or signal 10 to state 0”. Which color values are associated with that, let alone any blending to make it look nice, are things the signal has to decide for itself. There is no way to build a simple stupid adapter here; I need a complete computer.

Luckily, you can get those for cheap and in really tiny.

The ATtiny85 costs about 1€ depending on how many you order, and it’s smaller than one cent coin (I think in basically any currency), but from a technical point of view, it is essentially a full computer. It has all the important parts anyway. There is a CPU that can run at (depending on the version) up to 20 MHz; half a kilobyte of RAM and eight kilobyte of internal storage for the program. Multiple programs is a bit of a challenge. If you know Arduinos, the ATtiny85 is related to the ATmega328p in the Arduino Uno and Nano. Far less powerful, but cheaper and significantly smaller.

What it lacks are all the surroundings like keyboard and screen for input and output. The chip is designed for applications where this isn’t needed, or at least only minimal things. The software that you write can assign each pin (okay, five out of eight) freely for different tasks: The pin can work as an input, telling the software whether there’s a low or high level of voltage at it (meaning 0 or 5 Volts), or it can work as an output and write high or low values, meaning setting the pin explicitly to 0 or 5 Volts.

There are other options for the Pins as well; among other things it can also read analog voltages and generate them to some extent. But for this task I only need the simple digital high-low inputs and outputs.

These types of chips, known as microcontrollers, exist in thousands of variations by different manufacturers with very different performance characteristics. They are the key part of basically everything that’s digitally controlled these days. Washing machines, everything that plugs into a computer including every single Apple lightning cable, TVs, TV remotes, amazing amounts of parts in cars and so on are all the realm of microcontrollers. The ATtiny85 is, as the name implies, very much at the low end of the scale (though there are smaller ones), and even here, it is a bit out of date. But it is very easy to program and very forgiving of mistakes, which makes it great in hobby situations.

To run, this chip needs around 3-5 Volts DC (some versions like the one here can also run on a bit less) and exactly one capacitor. I’m already generating 5 Volts DC for the LEDs anyway, so this chip will get them as well. That means for all the calculation, only two pieces of hardware are required.

There is some more associated hardware, though, for getting the program (which I’ve written myself) on the chip. For that you need a programmer, a device that you can buy for some money, or make yourself astonishingly easily from an Arduino. It needs to be connected with six wires to the chip. The standard for this is with a six-pin plug, which I’ve thus included here as well. There are standard six-wire cables for this.

You could connect the cables differently, for example with some sort of spring-loaded contacts on some programming circuit board you’d have to build for that, or in the worst case, just temporarily solder the cables in there. But the plug version is both simple and convenient, with the only downside that it makes the circuit a bit more pointy.

(Due to the Tumblr image limit, the next part will have to be in a reblog)

[neopronoun-user-culture-is]

Hi! I was wondering if I could get a pronoun/name check for the names Varian/Pixel/Rex and the pronouns it/its, bot/bots, and byte/bytes? I love to write. I love to paint. My favorite color is purple. I'm currently really into Detroit: Become Human. My birthday was on April 1.

Hi Varian! Sure!

Pixel has asked for a pronoun and name check! It said bot loves to write, I wonder what type of stories byte writes? Bot also loves to paint, and I bet it makes stunning paintings! Bytes favorite color is purple, which is the same as mine! And I want to wish Rex a happy belated birthday, bots birthday was April 1st!

[nickswish8]

9/13

- Made a few sales for the brand today, ran to the post office to ship off orders

- Adjusting to No TV & etc has been a bit challenging, but hey it’s only a week. Can still edit my YouTube content from my phone and it’s honestly been a thrill.

- Saw a different teeth-related marketing Ad, for a company named Byte.

- Byte as a concept is good, but with this specific ad they missed the mark a bit in my honest opinion. Sure I can take an assessment, but many other companies are offering the same. What makes yours better?

[midnight-and-his-melodiverse]

THE TITANIA COLLECTIVE TRILOGY: FORMAL INTRO!

Ambient noises of TV static can be heard, as Midnight walks over to a screen on a pedestal.

"...Hello? Is this thing on?" He taps it expectantly.

The screen then lights up with blue. "Transmission began." it read on the LCD screen.

...Alright, so it is on! Midnight thought to himself.

Welcome officially to the formal intro for the Titania Collective trilogy!! Here will be the plot, characters, and opening line of each WIP in the trilogy!

Starting first with Stars, Bits, and Bytes!

"Why did we decide to do this again?" - Lyric, "Stars, Bits, and Bytes, Episode One: The Discovery of the Titania"

The Titania Collective, Part One: Stars, Bits, and Bytes

-SUMMARY-

After two adventurous young kids named Lyric and Ottava stumble upon a strange spacecraft, they are thrown into a grand adventure through space with a cranky AI named Intra who loves to misnavigate the ship, a group of strangely greedy space pirates who really want a piece of the group's ship, named the Titania, and an emperor who wishes to siphon music magic from everyone and everything to give himself power.

-CHARACTERS-

THE MAIN CHARACTERS!

Lyric - a young eleven year old boy, who is enamored with space. Along with his sister, Ottava, they head far from home to discover a mysterious spacecraft in construction, which would come to be known as the Titania. On the side, he likes to entertain himself with painting either landscapes, or the ship itself, on their long planetary excursions.

Ottava - a young twelve year old tween, who like his brother Lyric, is also enamored with space, but instead is more focused on the astrology side of things with zodiac signs and constellations. She accompanies Lyric on their journey far away from their home to see this spacecraft in construction, during the events of Episode One: "The Discovery of the Titania"

Arietta - a thirty-four year old pilot, ten years fresh out of flight school, who along with her partner in flight school Quintus, had some hands in testing the Titania's aeronautical capabilities and seeing if it was fit for the harsh environment of space.

Apparently Lyric and Ottava are now calling her "Mom" which is definitely an endearing gesture, but she's not really sure what to think of it, as sweet as it is.

Quintus - Arietta's partner in flight school, also ten years fresh out of it as well. His hand in testing the capabilities of the Titania were more from a technical standpoint, less of a pilot view.

And like Arietta being called "Mom" by the kids, Quintus is also called "Dad" which confuses him.

THE SIDE CHARACTERS!

Intra - Intra is a computer assistant that was originally installed inside the Titania for navigational, research, and general purposes. Now though, it's programming must've change, because almost all responses to simple questions come out as impudent and rude.

The Constellation Corsairs - these guys are known around Stella Concordia as being freebooters, they take what they can afford from others' spacecraft because they're trying to build their own base of operations within their craft, but they need "just a couple more spare parts" when in reality its more like, seven thousand dollars' worth of spacecraft parts.

A situation with them: "Hey, are those spare spaceship parts? Let us just uh, steal seven thousand dollars worth of well-crafted and polished craft parts and use them for our own gain!"

THE ANTAGONISTS!

Emperor Tetrachord

The Silencers

The Titania Collective, Part Two: Blizzards, Puzzles, and Strange Messages

UNDER CONSTRUCTION, CHECK BACK LATER!

-- Management

The Titania Collective, Part Three: Space Pirates, Shadow Monsters, and Cosmic Anomalies

UNDER CONSTRUCTION, CHECK BACK LATER!

-- Management

-OPENING LINES-

"Why did we decide to do this again?" - Spoken by Lyric at the beginning of Stars, Bits, and Bytes!

"On this planet, there are three things you should be concerned about: 1. Preparing for winter. Unlike any normal planet, the atmosphere shifts to be more hostile when winter rolls around, so whoever is reading this, please for my safety and yours, keep your guard up. 2. Nightfall. You have to be very vigilant during nightfall, as some Silencers are camping out and around. Not all of them were destroyed when Emperor Tetrachord's ship was totaled. 3. Navigation. Proper navigation is paramount, especially in very harsh blizzard conditions.

That's what Lyric, Ottava, and the Constellation Corsairs, of which they had now befriended, had woken up to during one morning when winter was just starting to set in around them. It wasn't at its worst... yet, anyway, so they had plenty of time to prepare. Well... at least if Mother Nature would play nice." - Narration at the beginning of Blizzards, Puzzles, and Strange Messages!

"It was cloudless and terrifyingly moonless, on the night the Corsairs were ambushed by the shadow monsters. Through darkness they pursued them, and wisps of black dust trailed behind those godforsaken creatures as they hunted the group like a pack of wolves to its prey." - Narration at the beginning of Space Pirates, Shadow Monsters, and Cosmic Anomalies!

*transmission ended.*

[moved-danganronpamess]

hehe...hii

could i get some headcanons for what the THH cast would call their s/o? yknow like babe, darling or sweetheart stuffs like that please & thanksss!!!

... Hewwo <3

Aaa, this is so cute!! I know I said my character limit is five, but I just couldn't resist doing this one! I wasn't sure if you wanted the male cast or female cast, so I did both!! I don't write for Hifumi, Despair!Junko and Mukuro though, so I'm sorry if you wanted them to be here too. I wrote for Junko in a non-despair AU, so she's still in this, just not despair-crazy.

I hope you enjoy it, my buttercup baby! <3

- 🌺💖Mod Rantaro💖🌺

HCs for what nicknames the THH cast use for their S/O!

The guys :

Makoto Naegi :

Now this boy.

This boy is very pure.

He likes calling you kinda generic, but still sweet stuff like honey, baby, sweetie, dear, etc!

He usually just calls you by your first name though, and uses nicknames when he's being super romantic. It's either on purpose or totally on accident, and there's no in-between.

I can just see you two being out on a date, and you catching him staring at you-

You ask him what's up and he hits you with the:

"It's nothing! You just look amazing, as usual, honey."

How can he be so smooth and yet easily embarrassed? No one knows I-

Byakuya Togami :

He calls you dear, darling and honey a lot!

Only when you two are alone though, like Makoto he usually just calls you by your first name.

He likes to keep any sort of intimacy private.

He sometimes uses very teasing nicknames.

Yeah he's a jerk like that.

Like, if you're short he WILL call you pipsqueak, no I don't make the rules-

He never wants to hurt you though, and he will stop if you ask him to!

He just likes teasing you because your reactions are cute. <3

Mondo Oowada :

Babe? Babe.

He calls you babe a lot.

He also uses very?? Pure and cute nicknames!

Like angel, babydoll, bunny, all that sweet, tooth-rotting jazz.

His favorite is angel though.

Angel, angel face, angel baby, any variation, you name it!

Like, you can be as nice or as mean as you want and he would still be calling you angel.

OH and if you're chubby he would 100% call you marshmellow!! Because you're just so fluffy and cute!!

You're so so precious to him and he wants you to know that!

Leon Kuwata :

BRUH THIS-

I-

This dude calls you nicknames more than your actual name.

He's probably used every nickname in the book for you at least once at this point.

Your name don’t exist no more sorry-

His nicknames range from cute stuff like boo, sunshine, cutie, gorgeous, love, etc

To him calling you dude, man or bro, mostly as a joke.

Mostly.

He also likes calling you things like hot stuff and good lookin’!

He also 100% called you a smurf once. No matter your height. You are now a smurf.

He also called you nicknames before you started dating (if you were comfortable with that, of course!).

Kiyotaka Ishimaru :

Now, Taka's a little shy when it comes to nicknames.

He's shy about relationship stuff in general to be honest-

But he REALLY likes calling you honey, precious, dearest or my love when he feels super lovey-dovey or romantic.

He also calls you sunshine every time you wake up.

Expect a "Good morning, sunshine! How was your sleep?" from my mans right here like every morning-

He's just a precious boi. <3

Chihiro Fujisaki :

SO SO PURE ABSOLUTE BABY.

He calls you such cute stuff!

Like tater tot, sweetheart, darling, lovely, cinnabun and many more!

He also sometimes uses nicknames related to his talent, to joke around a bit.

Like pixel or byte, especially if you're short like him!

The tone of voice he uses whenever he calls you a nickname just makes your heart melt.

He's just,,, so smol and happy,,,

*mod Rantaro crying noises*

Yasuhiro Hagakure :

Ok so hear me out-

He names you after conspiracy-related stuff.

Mostly cryptids.

Like he also uses regular nicknames like babe, hun or baby-

But like,,,

He also calls you Ness/Nessie, Yeti or Bigfoot, and he sometimes calls you my fortune when he’s being all lovey-dovey.

Maybe Chupacabra when he’s especially chipper, because Chupacabra’s just a fun word to say.

The girls :

heehee chupacabra

EDIT: THIS COMMENT HAS BIG BRAIN ENERGY RIGHT HERE SO I HAD TO ADD IT:

Kyoko Kirigiri :

She really likes giving you nicknames, but is often too shy to.

So she usually just calls you by your first name, like Makoto and Byakuya.

She really likes calling you sweetie, though.

You may’ve expected something that sounds more elegant, but she likes giving you super cutesy nicknames!

Some other examples are muffin, my lovely, fawn, and more!

When you’re in a more public setting she does tone down the cuteness though.

Usually goes for my darling or hun.

Aoi Asahina :

Also someone who uses nicknames more than your actual name!

And hot take-

All of Aoi’s nicknames for you are based on sweets and/or things you would find at a bakery.

She loves sweets, and she loves you, so why not combine the two?

She calls you sugar, honey buns, cookie, and sometimes my little powdered donut.

She also sometimes uses those overly-affectionate, annoying nicknames just to see how hard you’d cringe at them-

Sakura Ogami :

She’s super affectionate and modest with her nicknames!

She usually adds “my” in front of the nickname she’d give you.

My love, my darling, my treasure, my precious, my dearest, etc.

She feels like it’s more intimate by adding the “my” at the start.

Like she’s closer to you when she does that.

Whenever she uses a nickname, you can tell how much she adores you by just her voice alone.

And she also likes using the nickname blossom (heehee).

Because Sakura... Blossom... 👉👈

It sounds cute to her-

Celestia Ludenberg :

Celestia’s very passionate whenever she calls you something that isn’t your name.

She usually uses the names of flowers or fruit to nickname you.

Peach, cherry, plum, daffodil, rosebud, peony... Stuff like that!

She thinks it sounds pretty.

She also likes calling you kitten!

It has a similar sentiment to Aoi’s nicknames (nicknaming you after something they love), and besides you’re as cute and precious as a kitten too!

Her voice is very soft when she calls you something romantic, and she likes taking your hand when she does!

Sayaka Maizono :

She LOVES nicknames!

She thinks they’re just so cute!!

And she uses cute nicknames too-

Like baby, gumdrop, lovely, the list goes on.

She just likes cooing at you and calling you something cute!

Like: 

“You’re so sweet, lovely!” 

“Baby, you look amazing in that!”

So she usually compliments you, then adds a nickname to give it a more affectionate kick!

Junko Enoshima (non-despair) :

Dear buttercup, I’m warning you.

Junko has literally no concept of shame-

She loves pointing out just how hot you are!!

You could be in the middle of a giant mall and she’d just be going OFF-

She likes using nicknames like hottie/hot stuff, sugar lips, luscious, tasty, all that.

And if you get flustered, get ready because it’s only getting worse.

But sometimes, she goes soft and calls you stuff like cutie or sweet cheeks.

Toko Fukawa :

Toko’s nicknames aren’t exactly endearing all the time-

And she’s very reserved, so most of the time she doesn’t even nickname you.

When she does though its usually something like dummy, stupid, idiot or even egghead.

She doesn’t want to insult you, but it is a defense mechanism of sorts.

Like, you compliment her and her self-hatered just goes “no❤️”

So she tells you: “S-shut up, stupid!”, or something like that.

But way further into your relationship, when she gets comfortable and knows she can trust you, she calls you dear or honey.

Maybe cutie but shhh it’s only when you can’t really hear it

Woo, that was super fun!  Make sure to drink some water, take any meds you may need to, and maybe eat some fruit or candy! Lotsa love from me, my buttercup baby! <3

[chao-writes-stuff]

DELTARUNE SPOILERS

Heyyy! I wrote a thing involving Jevil and the Chapter 2 Superboss! I'm going to put it under the cut, but at the end, there will also be an Ao3 link if you wanna support me there!

Thank you! Remember to Reblog if you wanna

The Lightner Trio walked down the stairs in the Queen's massive manor, their hurried footsteps echoing like a rough pitter-patter in the technological nightmare. The massive lair confused and bamboozled them, but they definitely wanted to figure out the mystery behind what the Fountains were about, what Queen's true intentions were… and what was in the basement?

"Uhh… Kris?" Ralsei asked, his soft voice echoing out. "Why are we even here? Aren't Queen, Noelle, and Berdly upstairs? And not here…?"

Susie quickly interrupted him, punching his arm lightly to get his attention. "Of COURSE they aren't here. But whatever is here is probably important. Right, Kris?"

"I guess!" The currently blue human replied. "I've been asked by some… guy, about doing these weird favors for him. He really wants me to be alone."

"We sure he ain't a p-" Before Susie could finish her thought, Ralsei muffled her mouth with his scarf. "Who is he? And why does he want you to be alone?"

"His name is Spamton, I think. I don't know much about him, but he gave me this Loaded Disk earlier, and--"

Suddenly, a strange, chaotic voice rang out. Everyone recognized it. The tail attached to Ralsei's cloak popped off, diamonds and hearts flying out with it. The tail spun and took form, and the chaotic Jester they quite literally put to rest yesterday was reawakened.

"Spamton? SPAMTON? The same Spamton who wished for me to go, to go, and be free, free?" Jevil laughed chaotically, with Ralsei caught quite off guard. "You know him?"

"That dorito chip was part of the reason why I was set free, he was! He used to rule this world, before the Queen I've been hearing oh so much about took over. Oh, I MUST know more of how you met that ridiculous lunatic! And that's coming from ME, ME! Spamton, oh Spamton, I'd like to have a word with him~!" Jevil looked quite pissed off, his normally jovial expression looking slightly stern.

"I didn't wanna go down there anyway. Just come back, okay? You're kind of carrying us with your defense boost." Kris, with a neutral expression, gave the clown the disk they were gifted by the malignant salesman, and watched as Jevil immediately sprinted off into the basement. They could hear an echoed "Buh bye~! I'll be back in a few hundred words!" As the jester descended into the decrepit basement below...

Jevil entered the musty, rotting cellar. Despite him rarely stepping on the ground, each step he did take left a haunting impact on his feet. It was silent, save for the occasional rustling of his clothes. He didn't have long to do this. His physical form only had a few hours to be out and about before he solidified, just like the young boy and the puzzle freak. Thankfully, that's all he needed. He was getting excited, almost giddy, to interact once more with his old acquaintance. Oh, what a wonderful conversation they'd have!

He didn't walk for too much longer before he found the train station that was buried deep below. Or was it a roller coaster? Whoever had this built clearly had some elaborate roundabout in mind… too bad they were still imprisoned, haha! Jevil walked and floated across the tracks, reaching a room with a decaying robot inside.

He knew this was a bad idea. But when did he ever have good ideas?

Without hesitating, the joker put the disk into the robot. At first, nothing happened, and he was getting impatient VERY quick. He gave the robot a swift kick in the lower area, before stepping back out of the room.

Step…

Step…

SLAM! The clown was admittedly caught off guard with how fast the silhouette from above came and pushed him onto his knees. With a small gasp for air, Jevil looked up slowly at the encroaching menace. The jagged movements, the glitchy, unsolidified form… this was him alright.

"KRIS… MY LOYAL [Sponge!] THANK… YOU. THE [Clown Around Town!] I REMEMBER YOUR [Disgusting] FACE. EVERYONE WAS SO [Thrilled] TO SEE YOUR [Calcified] FACE." The massive robotic behemoth loomed over Jevil, rage in his glasses. Spamton NEO.

The clown got up, a smug, shitfaced expression on his mug. He knew damn well that the dorito in front of him was pissed off, so he leaned back in the air to retort. "At least I drink plenty of milk, uee hee hee! As for you, you haven't changed one bit since we last spoke~! Or would it be a byte, a byte? Regardless, I do hope you've given up on the illusion of freedom, freedom~! The only one who can be free is MEEE!"

The robotic menace swung around to the other side of Jevil, making it very clear who was in charge of the conversation. A small concentrated blast of Pipis was fired at the jester, pushing him back with a surprising amount of force. "YOU ACT SMUG, BUT YOU [Crashed our stocks!] AND THEN YOU [Spoiled relations with our Esteemed Partners!] I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU… GOT IN HERE, YOU… [Tuna Fish,] BUT I'M NOT FALLING FOR YOUR [Roundabout!] AGAIN!"

Jevil laughed maniacally at this thought. This guy was mad! Over something that happened how long ago? Why even bother holding a grudge still? Petty, petty! He knew why, and it's why he came back too. "You influenced him. That pretty little kitty. You gave him enough funds to release me into that carousel of bliss and innocence! But I wasn't done, not one bit! And all those years, spent being free… they made me realize something, my dearest Spamton."

The oddly calm tone coming from the jester put Spamton NEO at an incredible amount of unease. "WHAT? WHAT COULD YOUR [Calcified Lump] THINK OF THAT WOULD MEAN ANY GODDAMN THING TO ME?"

"I CAN DO ANYTHING!"

The joker used his latent power to pelt the giant mecha with small white hearts. Spamton was caught off-guard, stumbling back a fair amount. Of course, you have to fight fire with fire, so the robot used his abilities to send out a Big Shot of blue Spamton Head Pipis.

"YOU [Saturated Marketshare!] YOU CAN'T SIMPLY ATTACK ME AND EXPECT IT TO WORK [As seen on TV!] I'M A [BIG SHOT!] [BIG SHOT!!!]"

Jevil hopped up onto the ceiling, clearing the first few Pipis on the lower row heading his way. Unfortunately, the higher row caught him clean in the face as he bounced between the two, making a small Jack-in-the-box melody as he pinged around.

"SPAMTON, MY BELOATHED! I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND, UNDERSTAND, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE TRAPPED IN A CAGE WITH A SHARK, A SHARK! YOU GET BITTEN AND CHEWED UP!"

The fool retaliated by running circles around Spamton, turning into a carousel of horse bullets! The robot, in a surprising feat of puppeteering, dodged the attack almost perfectly… until a stray horsie cut a string, sending the mech's right arm into the horse race. One thing about arms with cannons on them? They fire.

As soon as it happened, Jevil was face to face with a swarm of Pipis all around him. He was stuck. All of them exploded brilliantly, sending the clown flying clean across the rotting tracks and into the wall. Tauntingly, mockingly even, Spamton NEO retorted.

"I'M THE SHARK NOW, JEVIL! I'VE CHEWED UP SO MANY [Failed Buisness Partners] THAT I COULD MAKE A WHOLE [Presentation] OUT OF THEM! STAY OUT OF MY GODDAMN WAY, OR [Sparkle like new!] YOU BRAT."

The buisnessman charged at Jevil, his hands becoming phones. "IT'S FOR YOU." Suddenly, before either of them could react, loud blasts of garbage noise manifest expelled from the phones, attacking the court jester with white blasts of energy. There was nothing he could do to stop this robot's onslaught, it looked like.

"OH SPAMTON, IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK? THAT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S SO POWERFUL RIGHT NOW, NOW? I'D SUGGEST YOU LOOK UP, UP! YOU'RE NOTHING WITHOUT THOSE STRINGS IMPRISONING YOU, UEE HEE HEE! YOU'RE NOT A BIG SHOT, YOU'RE JUST A LAZY FRAUD WHO CAN'T STOP HANGING ON TO HIM! I GUESS SLEEPING FOR 100 YEARS DOESN'T MAKE LITTLE OLD ME MISS MUCH, RIGHT?"

Without warning, Jevil was myseriously gone from his corner. The spamware looked frantically for his target, before being struck in the arm, the leg, and the chest by scythes. Devilsknives. The last knive cut a few strings clean off the puppet, who briefly hit the ground before rising back up.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! [Hyperlink Blocked.] I'M STILL HIS LOYAL ASSOCIATE! HE MAY NOT HAVE TALKED TO ME IN [Employee of The Month for 144 months!] BUT HE'S STILL THERE…"

Jevil interrupted him cleanly and concisely. "FACE IT. YOU'RE NO BIG SHOT ANYMORE, SPAMTON G. SPAMTON. ALL YOU ARE IS A FAILED INVESTMENT, UEE HEE HEE!"

With those words, a purple blast came from behind the clown, striking the robot right in the noggin. He flew back a bit, giving the joker enough time to turn around to meet his esteemed guests.

"Ah, my imprisoners~! Didn't you guys have a Queen to rock-em sock-em?"

Susie immediately cut him off, as she punched him in the arm (causing his head to spring up, naturally.) "Well, Kris over here couldn't shake the feeling things were off. So they forced us down here, and now they're right. Somehow?"

"I know I'm right.. Jevil, who the hell is Spamton?" Kris replied, their worry about the situation starting to rise.

"It's of no concern to you~! His screws were almost as loose as mine, and I don't think it's my job to tighten them~! Uee hee hee! Thank you for the help, but I can do anything~! Even tell you guys that 3 coasters are about to come down and force you guys along for the ride~!"

Ralsei immediately stuttered something out. "Three… what?"

And just like that, with a loud rumbling, the heroes were swept up into 3 old, rusty carts, barrelling down the track. Jevil laughed to himself, proud of what he got to do. "Ah well, it's a shame I can't finish him personally…"

"But oh well! Are you proud, proud? They took care of him…"

"Doctor."

Ao3 Link!