#I mean honestly for some people I feel like they need this nowadays

[cheesiedomino]

RentABoyfriend.com ꙳ ੭ * ‧

synopsis: you’re tired of being single so you to take an unusual route in helping with that— but what happens when you start catching real romantic feelings for your rental boyfriend?

genre: seo changbin x fem!reader | fake relationship/dating au wc: 5.1k tags/warnings: fluff, v minor angst, mild cursing, (kinda) nerdy changbin, use of pet names, mentions of alcohol usage, just overall very cute story dw <33

[this is part of my valentine’s series where i write a short story for each member surrounding themes of love, newfound romance, relationship hardships & more.]

“I have a date tomorrow guys.”

Everyone’s head instantly lifts up from their phones at this sudden announcement, collectively drawing their attention at you. You weren’t expecting all of them to gasp and swap such looks of genuine confusion. It’s starting to make you think maybe this situation was a lot more serious than you’ve bargained it out to be.

You couldn’t fathom it either honestly, the realization of you going out with someone probably won’t settle in until you’re physically on the date. Based on their initial responses though, you might regret everything you’re about to say, but it’s far too late to retract any of your statements now.

“No way.. with who??” Danielle is the first out of everyone to ask.

Taehyung chimes in as well, “Yeah, who’s the lucky person? They’ve gotta be something seriously special to be talking to you.”

Well, you suppose you could put it that way.

You already have a preconceived notion of what they’re going to think of this “idea”. Mentally preparing yourself to receive a flood of questions and critique from your close friends.

“Actually… I rented him. For the week.”

Now they’re all looking at you like you’ve officially lost it. The room got scarily quiet, no one wanted to be the first to speak. You should’ve anticipated on their reactions being like this, it isn’t everyday someone just openly admits to buying a partner online. Nowadays there’s a lucrative market for just about anything, when you stumbled upon an ad for this service called ‘RentABoyfriend.com’ you didn’t think much of it. You laughed the concept off at first, thinking how lonely people must be to buy someone else’s time.

But the ads kept popping up, they wouldn’t stop showing in almost every YouTube video you were watching— even one of your favorite YouTubers promoted them before! So one day you finally decided to check this website out, you wanted to see what the hype’s all about so you signed up just for shits and giggles. You weren’t expecting to actually be somewhat interested in trying this thing out, but after going through a couple different profiles and reading hundreds of positive reviews you were practically sold.

“You rented out a boyfriend..? Seriously ___? I mean, I’m not judging but you’re a gorgeous girl you can easily get a boyfriend without paying for someone’s companionship, I don’t see why you need to rent one.” Mark bluntly expressed his opinion, he was probably the most outspoken out of all of you guys.

Taehyung and Danielle both agreed in unison, it’s practically 3 against 1 at this point. You knew you should’ve waited to tell them but you weren’t anticipating on them being this judgmental about it. You were hoping for a little more support, as they’re all way more experienced than you in the dating scene and could lend some helpful advice about your first date, ever.

See, the thing is you’ve never tried dating before so you wouldn’t know the first thing about it or what to expect from your future partner. You’ve never had a boyfriend, let alone held hands or kissed someone of the opposite sex. Being in your twenties it’s kind of embarrassing to say you’ve never done those things, but you thought what better way to try it out than renting a full-on experience that can give you just that? Well minus the kissing part, but you can make it work.

You were skeptical of doing this whole ‘rent-a-boyfriend’ thing at first because you didn’t think there’d be anyone you’d find suitable enough. A big part of the reason that you’re still single is because you’re extremely picky, you want to date a guy who’s so perfect that he must’ve came straight out of an indie romance film. Your friends would tease you for having such unrealistic standards when it came to dating but you were the all-or-nothing type, you’ll be single with fifty cats before you settle for less. Renting a boyfriend is definitely an unconventional idea of easing into dating but you thought it might be worth a try anyway.

What’s the worse that could happen?

( 1 day earlier )

Hovering your cursor over the bold red text of the website, you read over the main rules before going on to select the person you want for your date.

‘The rules are simple:

You are allowed to see only ONE person at a time, if you want to switch boyfriends you’ll have to pay a $50 fee.

MUST be over 18 to rent a boyfriend, we have implemented an age verification system before the date as we do not tolerate anyone under this age to use our services.

NO kissing, or sexual intimacy allowed. If this is found out later on by our agency we will terminate your contract and ban you from using our services in the future.

Remember to have fun !! ^_^ Our services are great for people who are new to dating or have never been in a relationship. We provide the ~ultimate~ boyfriend experience to all our clients. Customer satisfaction is 100% guaranteed ! (NO REFUNDS)’

Well jeez… they seemed a bit strict but you can deal with those rules and restrictions for the most part.

After hours of skimming through hundreds of profiles, you have a hard time choosing which you like most. Did you want an artsy, shy kind of guy? The tattooed, bad boy aesthetic type? You really couldn’t pick one until you stumble upon a particular profile that catches your eye almost immediately.

SEO CHANGBIN | 168 CM | PART-TIME LIFEGUARD | 24 | *POPULAR ↝

5 Facts About Me: I’ve traveled to over 50+ different countries and counting (ask me which my favorites are), I can speak 4 languages (working on my fifth), love to sing and used to have a rap trio with my buddies from college, I can & will easily lift you up ;) also have a secret talent for cooking, there’s nothing I can’t do!

Why Choose Me? First of all, why not choose me? I’m the best candidate for whatever kind of date you need, something casual, social gatherings, weddings, you name it! I’m very social and can make most people laugh (unless they’re the literal Grinch reincarnated), I’m able to get along well with anyone and just love to have a good time. I hope we can get to know each other and make great memories in the future :)

Going through his pictures you couldn’t believe someone was capable of being this humanely attractive. Don’t even get started on those impeccable muscles either… He really had to sport them in every other one of his photos, wearing the tightest shirts to show the outline of his insanely sculpted frame. You might have just been mesmerized from his godlike visuals alone. They even had a Valentine’s Day deluxe package that comes with seven dates in total for half the price, which they specified was for a limited time only.

$600 later you’ve got a full week of dates lined up with the hottest guy you’ve ever seen in all your years of living. You should’ve definitely went shopping before considering all this because now you actually have a reason to get dolled up for someone.

You were so nervous about going on this date you almost cancelled last minute out of fear. Typing out several different elaborate paragraphs to Changbin on why you couldn’t make it. You didn’t have his real phone number, it was all through an app facilitated by the rental company that was included in the package. Even though you were feeling overwhelmed and practically shaking with anxiety about meeting up with a guy, you still forced yourself to go anyway. You didn’t just dish out all that money just to not show up and waste his time on top of all that.

Your rental boyfriend texted you the location to meet at, it was near a train station so you both could see each other out in a public open space. The outfit you wore was fairly simple, a black mini skirt with warm tights underneath and a cropped turtleneck sweater. You accessorized the look with some dainty jewelry, a thin scarf, and knee high boots to pull everything together. It wasn’t something you usually wore but you had certain clothes you saved for a special occasion like this.

Upon your arrival, you notice him standing near a vending machine and waves over at you with the biggest smile plastered on his face. You awkwardly wave back, giving a soft smile as you slowly walk up to him. He looks even better in person, you don’t even feel adequate enough to be in such a gorgeous man’s presence. No wonder he’s so popular on the site, he’s practically unreal.

“Hi, you must be ___. It’s so nice to finally meet you, might I add you look really beautiful today, I think you’re making my heart race just by looking at you. Happy Valentine’s Day!” Changbin introduces himself, buttering you up with some sweet compliments before handing you the most insane bouquet of roses you’ve ever seen.

You take the flowers and almost stumble backwards from how heavy they were, “Wow, thank you!” Changbin prevents you from falling, quickly coming up behind you to get your balance back.

“Careful honey, can’t have you injured on our first date!” He voices with concern, “I hope you love the idea I came up with, I’ve only been to this place once before but I’m sure it’s still as fun as I remember it, let’s go!” Eagerly grabbing your hand to begin the journey, he turns around again to examine your body language.

“You seem a little tense babe? Do you need a massage?” He asks in a concerned tone again, this is all really beginning to freak you out. You know this is what you signed up for but this was all starting to feel a bit too personal, all the nicknames and sweet talk he’s giving is just something you aren’t used to.

“Uh, no! It’s o-okay.” You shook your head, denying anything suspicious going on. Truth be told you were barely able to contain your composure right now.

Changbin keeps on insisting, “The massage is included in the package so you don’t have to worry about getting charged extra.”

“N-no it’s okay, really. I’m just nervous that’s all, sorry I just don’t meet up with guys…” you shyly admit, finding it hard to look him in the eye.

He nods in understanding, “No need to be nervous with me sweetheart. I’m here to make you feel as comfortable as possible.” The smile he flashes at you instantly makes you warm on the inside, he seems like a genuine, caring person. You think things might go well for you after all.

The rest of the night was full of only good vibes and laughter by the end of it all. Changbin took you to an adult arcade that had old video games like Pac-Man, Super Mario, and Space Invaders, the other side was a bar where people could sit, drink, and socialize. He bought all your drinks that night, let you use up most of his tokens and overall had the most fun you could’ve ever had with someone. He was so easygoing but also knew when to act super caring and would be all lovey dovey with you. He was gentle, nurturing, and could have conversations about anything. You loved that he’d randomly drop some interesting fact you never knew about, or talked about a certain niche topic that he’d go on multiple rants over. It didn’t feel like you were renting someone out to date you, it felt natural— like you’ve known him for longer than a couple hours. Changbin walked you home and held your hand the entire time, along with the flowers he provided a teddy bear and a heart shaped box of chocolates. If that didn’t scream boyfriend goals then you don’t know what does.

The next day you wake up to Changbin blowing your phone up this morning. You had over 26 messages from him, which was pretty excessive in your humble opinion. The first thing he said was good morning then he goes on to express how fun yesterday was and he can’t wait to do it again. He even sent a couple mirror selfies of him at the gym, ‘conceited much?’ You thought. But then again, if you were Seo Changbin you’d probably be full of yourself too.

For today’s date you wore a pretty red sundress that made your skin glow in the sunlight. It’ll definitely get him to compliment you even more— which you secretly love when he does. Changbin calls you before he heads out to the date, letting you know how excited he is to see you again. You couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot on the train as you made your way to the destination, thinking about what he’s planned for you two next. This time you’ll be meeting up at a park but you still have no clue what you’re doing.

Changbin texts you where exactly he is in the park, it was pretty huge so it took you a while to get to him. As you get closer you see him sitting on a large blanket by the lake, on top of it were a bunch of different foods and snacks scattered all around that came out of a huge picnic basket. You were speed walking at this point trying to get to him. His arms opened out for a hug and you lean right into him, what you didn’t expect was for him to suddenly stand up and lift you in his arms to swing around you like a doll.

“Put me down I’m scared of heights!” You squeal out in fear of being too high up in the air. Maybe you really should’ve taken the bio on his profile more seriously when he mentioned certain things.

Finally putting you down after minutes go by of you protesting, Changbin sits you back onto the blanket. He brought an assortment of breads, cheese, fruits, lemonade that he made himself and a couple seltzers. You’ve never seen anyone put such time and effort into a date before, even being here with him is like living in a daydream. He was definitely succeeding in making you feel comfortable, which is something you never thought was possible with men. He actually took his time getting to know you and didn’t sound arrogant whenever he talked about himself, Changbin was so different than other guys who’ve tried hitting on you in the past. He was actually respectful, intelligent, and could easily carry a conversation without long, awkward pauses.

He was literally everything you’re looking for in a guy. But you’ll be seeing him for this week only then it’s bye bye forever. That revelation makes you a little upset, but you try pushing those thoughts in the back of your mind. It’s irrelevant and unnecessary to think about. Yet you can’t help but wonder about certain things though, wanting to know more about his job and what it’s like on a daily basis for him.

“Can I ask you something? I need you to answer it honestly.” You say out of nowhere, hoping that didn’t come out as weird as you thought.

Changbin nods, “of course, shoot.”

“How many clients do you usually get?”

This question definitely catches him off guard, he’s never really been asked this before and he’s debating on if he should as it might be a breach of privacy.

“I don’t think I can answer that, sorry.” He responds in the nicest way possible, but deep down he wants to know why you’d want to know how many other people he sees a day.

You were going to push him a bit more to try and get an answer but you decide to let it go and just enjoy the rest of the picnic. You didn’t want to bring the mood down with your odd questions and/or end up making him feel so uncomfortable that he won’t want to see you anymore. It was definitely something you shouldn’t have asked but you were curious to know anyway. Overall besides that small incident, you had another wonderful time with Changbin and couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come any faster.

Changbin had a foolproof way of getting you to blush like a giddy high school teen whenever he texted you. He’d always refer to you as ‘pretty girl’ or ‘princess’ which gave you insane amount of butterflies. You loved how clingy he could get and would double text when you don’t reply fast enough, always needing constant attention from you which you never minded giving.

He texted you at around three in the afternoon, proposing his next plan for today’s date.

‘Let’s go out for drinks tonight, it’s all on me ;)’

You liked his message, replying that you’ll be there and put a series of hearts at the end. Speaking of hearts, yours is fluttering at high altitudes from the way you can’t stop thinking about your “boyfriend” Changbin. This has been better than anything you could’ve expected, you never want this week to come to an end. It’s only been three days but you’ve begun to grow feelings for him, they weren’t too strong just yet but they were most definitely there. You couldn’t let that halt you from having a good time tonight, you’ll have to accept it soon enough he’s not your actual boyfriend. He’s doing this because you paid him to, if it wasn’t for your money he wouldn’t be here right now.

‘This relationship is purely transactional’ you unfortunately keep reminding yourself of the reality you’re in. Psyching yourself out of this sudden somber mood that’s consuming you, distracting your pessimism by raiding your closet for some cute clothes to wear tonight’s date. After what seemed like hours of tearing your entire room apart, you decide to settle on this sparkly black mini tube dress, pairing it with a leather jacket and more platform shoes because you’re obsessed with feeling tall. Once it’s 7 PM you head out to the bar you’re seeing Changbin at, he was already waiting for you inside the place. Eyes instantly lighting up when he sees you coming towards him, just like he always does he motions for a hug, pulling you in tightly like he hasn’t seen you in years.

His hugs felt so cozy, like sitting in front of the fireplace on a crisp, snowy winter’s evening. You never wanted to escape the warmth of his arms, it was one of those forms of physical touch that felt so overly personal to you. The thought of him hugging someone the same way he hugs you slightly enrages something in your spirit but again, it isn’t your place to get genuinely upset over him doing his job. You’re not entitled to him exclusively, but you feel like if you keep this up feelings will only continue to develop. This wasn’t something you considered when going into this and now you feel like you’ve just made a huge mistake.

“You okay babe?” Changbin notices you acting a bit strange, choosing not to pursue it after telling him you’re fine. He knows something’s wrong but doesn’t want to mess up the flow of the date, instead he orders a drink for the both of you and switches on to a lighter subject. “Let’s go shopping tomorrow at that new centre that just opened last week. I need to buy some new AirPods, I accidentally lost one of them in a taxi..”

“Sure,” you nod at his suggestion, in desperate need of some new clothes anyway. “Sorry about your AirPods, that sucks!”

He takes a sip of his bubbly drink that’s now on the table, “Eh, it’s okay this is probably the fourth time this has happened so far.” This has pretty much become a regular occurrence for him by now.

As the date progresses, things continue getting better. You’re both laughing, engaging in much deeper conversation than ever before. You definitely had more than enough alcohol in your system by now, feeling congested and claustrophobic as more people came into the bar. Changbin takes note of your discomfort and asks if you want to get some fresh air outside, you wasted absolutely no time to agree.

While you two were outside continuing your chat about some wild conspiracy he read about online, Changbin’s attention was soon drawn to a different building nearby. Gazing up in confusion at his sudden outburst of excitement, you wonder where he could be leading you next.

“Noraebang!” He shouts loud enough anyone miles away could’ve heard that, he’s now grabbing your hand to frantically drag you along with him.

You were never one to carry a tune but Changbin was actually very good at karaoke and singing in general, he had such a lovely voice. You could seriously listen to him sing all night— which you basically did since you kept begging for an encore until it hit 4 am. That’s when you both decided to finally call it a night, you wanted to pay for the Uber since he’s paid for all the drinks and every other expenses for today. You felt bad because you were the one renting him to be your boyfriend yet he’s constantly shelling out money left and right. He still insisted on paying and ultimately won the whole debacle, making you swallow your pride and get into the Uber with him. Changbin’s definitely not just someone you’re going to forget about after this week is over. You dread the day this all comes to an end, wishing there was a way to relive these moments again and again.

“I’m a little under the weather today, sorry I can’t make it Binnie.” Your voice is hoarse from coughing and unbearable throat pain. You’ve already consumed half a bag of cough drops, throat lozenges, and random cold medicine you’ve found in your cabinets.

He sounds mildly disappointed, but springs back up with a new proposal, “I can come over and bring some soup if you’d like!”

You appreciate his gesture but still refuse, you know he’s only saying all this because he has to, not because he wants to. “N-no you don’t have to, I’m sure you can go see other clients today. One less person to worry about right?”

The call went silent for a minute, he wasn’t quite sure how to respond to such a deprecating comment.

“I don’t want to see other clients, I want to see you ___.” He sighs, unwilling to give up so easily, “I’ll be at your place soon, m’kay?” He hangs up before you could even respond or say no again.

You had no choice but to wait for Changbin to show up now. Before you got sick, the last two dates you went on were debatably the best so far. You had gone out shopping together, accidentally wearing almost the same kind of outfit. Changbin was wearing a white graphic tee with blue baggy jeans and you wore something practically identical. The two of you looked like a real, official couple and people would stare as you walked hand in hand, it really did seem like the perfect relationship on the outside.

You got even closer when he came over the following day, resulting in you two cuddling while watching movies and baking cookies. He’s expressed that he’s never been to another client’s home before but it wasn’t “technically” against any rules. The more you kept hanging out together, the harder it was coming to terms with the fact you’re actually falling for Changbin. He made every experience with you more exciting than the last, which he did exactly that night. When the cookies were done you fed a piece to him, making little airplane sounds as you do it, he eagerly takes a bite of the chewy treat and compliments both your efforts.

“These taste way better than I thought, oh my god they literally melt in your mouth. Try it!” He takes another cookie from the tray and feeds it to you this time.

There was something so overly domestic about that moment you couldn’t shake the feelings of wanting to kiss him right then and there. But you can’t. If you did such a thing you’d never be allowed to see him again, plus you don’t want to be known as that one creepy client who just couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. As you were cuddling on the couch though, things may have taken a turn for the better… or worse?

Changbin would “yawn” at the movie and subtly wrap his arm around you, he’d subconsciously pull you in closer and it didn’t make it any better that you were under the same blanket. You weren’t complaining at any of this though, you were pretty much in heaven. It took everything in you not to look up and stare, gluing your eyes to the movie that was displayed on the TV. But as the night progressed you were practically snuggling up with him like he was your real boyfriend. The way he’d run his fingers gently down your back, soothing you in a way that could lull you asleep. His touch was the most relaxing thing ever, you were so calm with him and loved how he brought a side of you that’s never been shown. After this encounter you can no longer deny the way you feel— you are officially falling deeply in love your rental boyfriend, Seo Changbin.

The sound of your doorbell ringing alarms you of a new visitor, who was none other than your “boyfriend” waiting patiently outside the door for you. You feel and look like death itself, coming downstairs to answer the door still in your PJ’s and hair a disheveled mess. Every five seconds was interrupted with you coughing your lungs out, barely able to speak above a whisper. Changbin looks thrilled as ever to see you, even when you clearly don’t look your best he’s still coming up to hug you tightly. His hugs are always blocking off your airways from the way his muscles squeeze you, it’s even worse when you’re sick— practically gasping for air.

“Sorry babyy, I just missed you so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day and soon as you said you’re sick I dropped everything to go make you this soup. It’s a specialty I make whenever my friends are sick, the perfect remedy to cure my princess.” He goes into your kitchen to heat up the soup in your microwave, making you wait patiently on the couch as you’re wrapped up in multiple blankets.

Your body feels like it’s -2 degrees, you were freezing. The crazy thing is your thermostat was set to 80 degrees, it was definitely you that was the problem. He propped your feet up on the table, rested a tray in your lap and set the bowl of soup on top. Brushing a couple strands of hair out your face he looks at you intently, examining your symptoms as if he’s a doctor.

“It’ll be okay soon love, I’m here to nurse you back to health again. Can’t see my pretty baby sick like this, makes me all sad.” He pouts, giving you a soft head pat like you’re a delicate kitten.

He takes a spoonful of the hot soup, slightly blowing on it before telling you to open up so you can eat. You don’t know what’s gotten into you but you feel like he’s gone too far with all this. It’s not fair for you to continue on if it’s just become torture now. He’s practically dangling in your face that you’ll never have a partner as perfect as him in your life.

“I- I can’t do this anymore Changbin..” you say lowly, refusing to eat the soup he made.

“What do you mean? I’m just feeding you soup, it’s my duty as your boyfriend to-”

“This isn’t real… none of it is. I’m stupid for even doing this but I was lonely.. I’m sorry but I’d prefer something that isn’t temporary.” You cut him off to express your pent up frustrations, ready to be let down and rejected by him as gently as possible.

“Then let’s make it real,” he proposes without any hesitation, “honestly I stopped faking it around our third date, it was all me after that. I never said anything because well… this is my job and I’ve never fallen for a client before so this is still all very new to me..”

You’d be screaming right now if you weren’t sick, instead you’re internally freaking out at this confession, it feels like your hearts doing cartwheels and somersaults.

“Seriously?” Eyes widening as you look at him, suddenly your body heat rises and you know it’s not because of the soup or the layers of blankets that’s covering you.

He nods, “I thought it was kinda obvious when we kissed yesterday..”

Oh yeah… you forgot that did happen. You thought it was another fever dream you might’ve just made up in your head. You shared your first kiss with someone you deemed so special and important to you, someone you never would’ve guessed could come into your life and shift the entirety of your world like magic. There was no one else in existence you wanted more than Changbin.

“Doesn’t that mean you’ll have to quit your job? I don’t want to be the reason you stop making such good income.. I’ll feel so bad.” You knew deep down you didn’t feel that badly about him quitting to date you instead. It was just the thought of him leaving something he’s been doing for years behind all for some girl he’s known for simply a week.

He shrugs at your comment, “I’ll be just fine, I was planning on finding a new job soon anyway. It gets kinda old after a while, I felt like I was on autopilot most of the time. You were able to get me to open up and show my true self, I could never thank you enough for that ___.” Changbin couldn’t resist the urge to plant a kiss to your forehead.

After everything that’s been said and done. What you’ve come to understand is that love is learned, a development that takes time to grow and blossom into something extraordinary. Just like learning a new language or a musical instrument, we learn love from society and cultures we’re raised in, it’s a beautiful thing once we know how to cherish it. Your newfound romance with Changbin is something you’ll learn to cherish forever and ever.

[End <3].

[hana-no-seiiki]

Hi! Could I be ✨Anon? (Im not sure whats been taken already) I've been on a big Batfam kick these past few days and have a v indulgent request if it interests you.

Could I request something for a (gn) civilian reader who is friends w/ the Batfam, but recently got superpowers that are magical girl-esque? Neither of the parties knowing of the others Alter Egos. Here are some of my thought, but write the post however you'd like.

Reader was accidentally caught up in some commotion that involved stealing specialty cargo. One of them being an alien artifact, and reader uses it in desperation to save themselves. But now they have these sparkely, pretty, and showy powers that they never asked for. (And maybe a magical animal companion that insist they bring light and justice to Gotham)

Reader is reluctant to be a vigilante, but keeps finding themselves in situations to help people anyways.(Maybe its a side effect of being a magical girl) They end up fighting alongside the Batfam at some point, but they feel embarrassed to interact w/ them. Reader feels completely out of place with their colorful and over-the-top powers when next to the cool and brooding batfam.

Sorry if this idea is a bit out there, but ty for letting me be indulgent in your ask box 💕!!

NO CAUSE I FEEL THIS DYNAMIC SO MUCH.

I either have the friendliest vibe or the bitchiest vibe and no in between. Meaning that people either come to me for everything or think I’m a snob/will bite-

and sure non! i don’t really keep track of my anons nowadays so people can be whatever as long as it’s not listed in my pinned

BAT X MAGIC ✨

IN ANY CASE

I’m gonna mix Sailor Moon, Miraculous Ladybug and Onimai for my inspo with this ask if you don’t mind

Magical Girl/Boy/Person! Reader is really close friends with Tim and Damian. If there was one thing all three could agree on it’s that they loved superheroes in manga/comics.

And Reader? Boy did they adore the Batfam. There was just something about their dark, brooding aesthetic that they couldn’t get enough of.

So it was a tad bit ironic that they stumbled upon the most “girly”and “bright” power ever known to Gotham.

It didn’t help that your abilities had to be activated with cutely yelling things like “Sparkle Blast!” or “Smile Hurricane!”

I like to headcannon that you have a familiar or Kwami like creature that in exchange of keeping your identity magically hidden, absolutely bullies you by making the one above a requirement.

I headcannon that Damian has the PHATTEST crush on you. Like even moreso than the stalker, otaku Tim. Like he is just head over heels. You’re strong, you’re capable, you’re adorable?? But that mostly extends to just your magic persona rather than your real self. He’s super obvious about it to anyone but you too (similar to the og miraculous ladybug w/ felix instead of chat).

Tim is more interested on who tf you were. Like yes!!! Magical Person Hero!!! You were basically his childhood crushes incarnate!! But his inquisitive mind really needed to know who you were in order to calm himself down.

Jason is honestly a bit overwhelmed by your whole getup, but grows to love you the most in terms of how kind you are and how you help them even in the most dire of situations (not knowing that you were basically forced to)

He’s very much Tuxedo Mask type wherein he’d be very annoying to you when the disguises are off but an absolute Casanova with em on.

You and Dick are the most close when it comes to patrols and fighting. I feel like you, being the big fan you were, would make him look even more flashy and handsome during battle with sparkles and whatnot. I have a feeling he’d be the first to ask you out or fully romance you, as well as be the first to befriend you/contact you as a vigilante.

Bruce is definitely perplexed by how you always evade him in terms of your secret identity. It frustrates him to no end that whenever he gets close to finding out something either gets in his way or his mind just goes blank.

Once you explain how your magical persona works tho he’s pretty quick on the bandwagon, especially since he sees that his boys love you.

Also cause you look way too adorable to really be heinous.

…Right?

Once you break one of your familiar’s rules though, they do share your identity with the bats and well…

All hell breaks loose.

[the-fiction-witch]

Via Call

Media - Doctor Who (The Lodger Episode) Character - The Doctor (11th) Couple - The Doctor X Reader Reader - Y/n (Companion) Rating - Smut Word Count - 3300

Due to the goings-on of alien business this week, the doctor had to lay low while investigating. He had taken up a flatshare below the suspicious goings-on and was acting human. While Y/n remained in the TARDIS orbiting above where it was safe. The doctor bounced on his bed, tinkering around his room, earpiece in his ear on a call with Y/n back in the TARDIS a special dampener on the earpiece so anyone listening will only hear nonsense allowing them to talk as needed. 

"So how are you enjoying it? Pretending to be a normal human I mean?" Y/n asks

"Oh, you know, it's not so bad. I mean, the 21st century? You guys know your way around a bedroom." He laughs as he rolls over and pulls at the sheets on his bed. "Although, I think I need something to pass the time. So far it's been a few days of absolutely nothing. How is the TARDIS by the way? I hope you haven't gotten into trouble without me."

"the tardis is fine. I'm fine too thanks for asking"

He rolls his eyes playfully, "You're no fun at all. At least try and get a little bit up to trouble why I'm working." He lets out a small and frustrated sigh, "This case will be the end of me. There's almost nothing I can find... It's almost like the alien is a ghost or something..."

"Who knows what it is that's what you're meant to be figuring out. You need me to bring anything down for you?"

"Well," He hums thoughtfully, "I suppose I could use some of that jelly baby stash."

"you can just buy jelly babies, doctor"

"Yes, but the TARDIS ones are the better ones!" The Doctor sits up and crosses his legs and leans into the bed, "plus I'd like for you to come here and hang out with me. It gets lonely when I'm pretending to be human all the time. It is boring."

"And what are you going to say if that flatmate of yours happens to them up while I'm visiting?"

“You’re my companion just tell him that,”

“People don’t say that doctor,”

“Oh… Partner then? Is that better than companion?”

“Slightly…”

“Say that you're my girlfriend..." He says casually as he swings his legs over the bed, "That's what humans do nowadays, right? I'm still figuring them out..."  He looks at the mirror and rubs at the sides of his face, "I look old. Humans hate that right?"

"you look fine very handsome I'm sure" her voice chuckled "I don't know if I could pull off being your girlfriend I'm not a good actress... Besides I'm keeping the TARDIS up here we're it's safe like you told me at least till you know what It is"

"Oh, honestly don't worry about your acting. The human mind is so simple, you could probably fool them with a simple hug and a kiss on the cheek." He smiles and stands up, pushing his hair back a little. "Besides, you're very pretty. You'll have them melting as soon as you walk in the door and they get a look at your eyes."

"aww you’re sweet, only two weeks on earth and you're already losing it bouncing around the walls"

"Oh, shush. Is it so much to ask to want to see you again? I just..." He sighs, "I miss your face, I miss your voice, I've almost gotten myself in trouble at least five times without you..." He chuckles slightly, fixing his bow tie and checking himself in to mirror, "I feel... Lost, I suppose."

"well I'm only in the tardis you can call me on this earpiece thing as much as you want and you can hear my voice,"

"It's different though, I can't touch you. Your voice isn't the same as when I can feel it vibrating through your chest. I can't hear all of those thoughts you always think but don't say. The sounds of your stomach when your hungry or the little laugh you do when I'm going on and on about something that doesn't make sense to anyone but me." He lets out a small sigh, 

"well it's only for a little while" she giggled "Just till you find what's going on then you can come back to the TARDIS and we can go spend a week at the Crystal Falls okay?"

"A week?" The Doctor grins at the prospect of the idea, "You mean a week just the two of us? Alone there? With a view of those crystal waters and the falling rocks?"

He turns away from the mirror to lean back against the wardrobe in the room, "that actually doesn't sound too bad. Are you actually suggesting a holiday? For the both of us?"

"I am, a little trip as soon as you sort all this out" she smiled

The Doctor laughs and nods, "Then it's settled. We can have a holiday and relax. No aliens, no saving the world, just some time for the two of us to relax and just get away. This time together will be nice... It's almost too romantic."

"Almost?" She smiled "Hey... If your really bored I have a game for you"

"What game is this hmm? Is it a fun game?" He tilts his head as he sits down on the end of his bed, kicking his legs playfully, "is it the kind of game that involves you and me? And by that I mean it's two people who play in person and not in calls?"

"nope just via call. It's a very fun game"

"Well if it involves you I'm sure it is! I guess I'm quite lucky like that." He laughs softly, "how do you play this game hmm? What do I need to do?"

"you have to guess where in the TARDIS I am."

"A game of hide and seek on the TARDIS? Well that sounds rather fun. Give me a hint of the general area that you're in... That gives me a little bit of a chance to guess"

"left side corridor"

"Ah, the left corridor? Hmm, that narrows it down..." The Doctor hummed thoughtfully before snapping his fingers as something clicked in his mind, "I think I know where you are now. You little minx, I bet your in the library, aren't you?"

"nope"

"Damn." He smiles and snaps his fingers with a click of his tongue, "hmm, well not the Library. You're too mischievous to hide in an obvious place. Maybe... The swimming pool! Is that where you're hiding?"

"Nope try again,"

"Not the swimming pool either? Hmm, what other room do we have on the left side corridor..." He hums thoughtfully as he rubs at his jawline, the cogs in his mind whirring to think of another place...

"Oh!" He snaps his fingers again, "got it! The media room! You're definitely in the media room!"

"not the media room." She giggled "Have a clue" she smiled and the sound of bedsprings come through,

He laughs quietly as he hears the springs come through his ear piece, "wait... You're on a bed now? Hmm... A bed you say... And on the left side corridor no less..." He grins and clicks his fingers again as he realises exactly where she is, "ha! I know exactly where you are now, don't think you're clever enough to trick me... You're in your room aren't you? In the bed, bouncing on the springs and making noise so I know for sure you're there. I'm right aren't I?"

"not my room"

"Not... Your room?" He huffs with a smile and shakes his head, "you're making this very difficult on purpose aren't you."

A lightbulb moments goes off in his head as the truth comes to him, "wait! You're in MY room, aren't you? That's where you are! In my room, on my bed, giggling to yourself as you wait to see how long I'm going to take to figure this out."

"maybe" she giggled 

"Bingo." He laughs and stands up again, "I knew that you were there. I'm just too good at this game aren't I? Don't think you're as clever as me now."

He leans his against the wardrobe and rolls his sleeves up, "so, tell me. What are you doing in my bed? Aside from giggling of course, hmm?"

"nothing..." She answered with a sly smile

"Oh?" He raises an eyebrow and smiles, "you're not doing anything at all in my bed, hmm? It's just you, in my bed, by yourself. That doesn't sound suspicious at all now does it?" His tone suggests he knows she's up to something, "why are you in my room? On my bed no less. Surely you're not thinking about sleeping in my sheets are you? You cheeky minx..."

"already done" she teased "Been sleeping in your bed sheets since you left"

The Doctor's jaw drops in shock and he laughs loudly, "you've been sleeping in my bed? What have you been doing in there, hmm? Anything exciting in my bed, Miss Y/n? Tell me, what are my sheets like to sleep on?"

"very soft and Cosy, silky and smooth, and they smell like your hugs"

"You've been wrapping yourself up, thinking of me at night hmm?" He takes a few steps closer to the bed, "now why would you be doing a thing like that, hmm? Getting all cosy in my sheets every night just thinking of me when I'm not there. Missing me that much?" He shakes his head with a fond smile and laughs quietly under his breath, "you really are a handful..."

"I'm not use to being here all on my own" she pouts "so I came to snuggle in your room while your gone just to keep it warm and cosy for you"

His smile softens at the adorable sight she would make just laying there pouting and wrapped up in his bed. It's almost something out right of his dreams. "Well... I do always love coming back to an even warmer and cosier room. I suppose you are keeping it warm for me, aren't you? It's very sweet of you." His voice is softer now, almost affectionate, "and you've been enjoying yourself?"

"very much" she cooed

"Good... That's really good." He nods and takes a couple more steps towards the bed, looking at the ceiling as he imagines exactly what she looks like right now, in HIS bed. His sheets wrapped around her, burying her in his scent, just wanting to be with him. His voice is quiet and low as he continues, "just lay there... Close your eyes okay?" 

she hummed through the earpiece clearly doing as he asked her even if she’s so far away

He takes a deep, slow breath and lets it out just a little too slowly to be a regular exhale. He closes his eyes as well and imagines her on his bed, wrapped tightly in his sheets, thinking of him like she said, "just imagine that your in the room. Just think it. Imagine that I'm with you, that we're together right now. Just imagine it..."

"hum ..." She hummed the sounds of her shifting in his sheets and her sweet sighs of happiness before he can just hear the small sounds of kisses and he figures out quickly in her relaxed sleepy state she began kissing his pillow and he can imagine her laid on his bed hugging his pillow like it's his chest peppering it with kisses cause she missed him so badly

He smiles and bites back a low groan at realising that she's doing exactly what he's thought, kissing and cuddling HIS pillow. Imagining it being HIM! The Doctor can see her in his mind and he imagines himself there with her, wrapped in the sheets together kissing her neck as she kisses his pillow. He lets out a shaky breath, wanting desperately to be in this moment with her. The Doctor's breathing starts to speed up a little, his cheeks start to flush as his eyes are still closed, "that's it. Just keep kissing the pillow like it's me... I'm there, with you, in the sheets. Wrapped up tight. Just imagine me..." He can't help the low groan that escapes his throat now, not when he's thinking of this beautiful woman kissing away on the pillow, wishing that it was him. He's desperately trying to hold himself back though.

her kisses and gentle giggles continue but slowly her tone shifts the kisses become longer the giggles and gasps become small moans and it's obvious even just thought sound what she's up to

The Doctor's cheeks flushing even more as his breathing gets faster and faster, more heavy with anticipation. He can picture her so perfectly in his mind and he's wanting nothing more than to be there with her, taking in each one of her sounds. He bites his bottom lip as his imagination gets away from him, "Y/n... Don't... Don't stop..." He can picture every single detail, her hair splayed out on the pillow, her flushed cheeks and flushed body as she holds onto the pillow and kisses it like it's him, like it's his "I'm... There... I'm right there with you... Holding you... Don't stop... I wanna hear you..." He manages to gasp out between breaths, every word being a struggle. The Doctor can feel his hearts racing and his breaths are coming fast now. So close to the edge that the last little imagination could tip him over.

her moans become louder and the sound of kisses disappears replaced by another sound of movement "Doctor!" 

He gasps out again as the sounds of her moans get louder and he shudders as he imagines the movement she's making as she holds onto the pillow. "Oh God, Y/n-! Mmm. Ohhh... What's that? What are... Tell me! Tell me!"

she giggled innocently "Not till you tell me"

His breath catches in his through as he hears her soft, seductive giggling, "tell you...tell you what... Oh uggh, you cheeky little minx. You really want me to say it don't you? You want me to tell you... Tell you everything don't you?"

"mhm what are you up to doctor then I'll tell you" she teased between moans

"uggh! Just hearing you moan and giggle so sweetly for me makes me want to go crazy. I can't help it, you just get me so excited." His voice is practically panting into the receiver now, he's so close to the edge just imagining her like he is. He shudders against the receiver again before talking again, "mmm. Now just tell me what you're up to! Don't be quiet now!"

she giggled and said in the most innocent of tones loud enough he could catch every word "sitting on your bed, in your sheets, in one of your shirts, riding on your pillow imagining I had company"

The Doctor gasped out and groaned loudly, practically into the mic at the sounds of her words and imagined image in his mind. That...was enough to send him over the edge. "By the stars... Y/n...." He panted out between breaths, shuddering and moaning as his eyes rolled back for a moment. "I... Want you. So badly. So, so badly..."

"and what are you doing? Surely my cute little noises aren't being listened to while you just lay on that boring bed?"

"Listening and listening again and...imagining... It's making me go a little insane, but I can't stop listening to you. Just your voice is making me feel so good. Oh god I'm-" He's cut off by his own gasp and low moan and there's the sound of him shifting a little where he sits. His breath catches and he huffs out a shaky breath as he slowly comes down again, "you make it so hard to control myself, my dear."

"I'm sure controling yourself isn't all that's hard" she teased before she moaned his name again

The sound of her moaning out his name made the Doctor shiver and he swallowed harshly before he spoke again, his already gravely voice a little bit more low and rough now, "uggh woman you're killing me. You're gonna drive me completely insane if you keep moaning my name like that you naughty minx."

"I'll stop when you admit it"

He shudders again as he hears her soft, innocent voice in his ear. uggh that voice always gets him all hot and bothered. A groan comes from low in his throat before he finally manages to answer her, "Admit what, my dear hmmm?"

She giggled before she whispered into the earpiece "that your hard doctor?"

"By the stars you really do know just how to drive me mad." He groaned again and his voice shook with his next words. uggh his voice was so wrecked and hoarse now, he's sounding just so desperate. "Y-Yes... Yes, of course I'm hard. Just... Just” He huffed out a breath and shuddered a low groan against the ear piece before continuing, "imagining...imagining you right now...imagining what you're doing and the sounds you're making...how I just want to be there with you. How I just want to hold you close...I'm desperate for you, you sweet little minx."

"well as soon as you find out what's going on down there we can take our little trip a whole week at the Crystal Falls In a cute little cabin just you and me. And I'll sleep in your bed every night" 

His breath shudders again for a second as he imagines this. Just a week with her at the crystal falls in a cozy little cabin, her all curled up in HIS bed, in HIS shirt and wrapped up in HIS sheets. Just the two of them together… "Oh, yes..." He moans again, so low and almost right into his ear piece now as his eyes shut tight again, "uggh yes I want that."

The squeal that he hears from her is almost too much for the Doctor to handle. Just imagining her and knowing that he's getting her all riled up and needy, it's almost driving him insane. All he wants is to just be there with her, wrapped up together in his sheets. "Y/n...are you...are you close, darling?"

"mhm," she whines "I want to... With you... Please"

He shudders again at her needy whine, uggh she's so adorable. "Oh, I'd love that darling. I'd love that so, so much. I'm so, so close myself just thinking about you."

"doctor!" She screamed and squealed

The sound of her reaching her peak had sent him right over the edge again as he gasped out her name with a low, guttural groan that came from deep in his chest. "Sweet...Sweet stars... Y/n-oh uggh....!" He was panting and shaking against the receiver, his eyes shut tightly as he slowly comes down from his high again, his heart racing and his breaths coming out in low moans.

Y/n giggled "I think I'm just going to miss you more now..."

He laughed weakly in response, still coming back down from his high and calming himself down from that intense rush. uggh... She definitely knows how to get him up and send him spiralling, leaving him feeling all out in the open and vulnerable. "uggh, Y/n... That was some night. You're an absolute tease you know that? I'm gonna miss you terribly. I already know that this time apart is going to feel like an age."

"Maybe I could risk the TARDIS coming in for a... Little visit" she cooed "help you pass as human and all"

“Come down. Now.” He smirked before ending the call, 

[ash-says]

Tips on how to dodge personal questions in a Professional Setting:

I know. I know. I said I will be on a break and I still stand by that but it was difficult to throw away the sudden surge of motivation so here I am.

I received a request to make a post on this long back so here is your girl serving it. Honestly I am not much of an expert at it either but I have some ways that work sometimes so here goes nothing.

1) Do not give in to the pressure.

Literally that's the starting point. Whenever someone asks us a personal question we feel obligated at some level to answer because of xyz reasons. That's why we first need to escape the pressure of answering.

2) Straightforwardly and Politely state I am not comfortable answering that.

The bulletproof method. No explanation needed.

3) If you are in a situation where the person is being really nosy and can't take a no for an answer. Try saying to them,"I don't understand how it's relevant to our topic of discussion."

4) If you are not in a position to decline at all which happens when the person asking the question is of higher authority and has influence in this situation give vague answers that lead nowhere.

Example: So are you dating anyone?

It's tough to say in particular you know the dating scene nowadays it's difficult to put a name on anything.

Or what do you do on your weekends?

Nothing just the usuals. I am an office worker after all.

This creates a sense of familiarity with the crowd but at the same time does not reveal anything in precision.

5) Turn the topic on them. One of the smartest things you can do is make them the central focus. People love to talk about themselves so it works most of the time until you come across someone truly smart.

Example: hey how's the new office? Are you liking it here?

Ans: Well I am still getting used to the environment here. What about you? How long have you been working here?

6) Another thing you can do is dance around the topic but not on the topic. You remember how you used to write a 1 mark question for 5 marks exactly like that. Tell the prequel and sequel of the question but never answer the exact question.

7) This one is kinda rude I won't suggest doing it around randomly but if you have been in the corporate space for sometime you would know that there are some people who like to ask things only to belittle you or spread gossip or to be mean. The jealous ones that don't have a life of their own.

In case they ask something or say something rude or cross a boundary just start singing a song or change the topic completely. Don't acknowledge anything they say and continue with your random talks or humming. Trust me it's the easiest way to get rid of them.

Still some are persistent and will try to get an answer. Simply say it's not worth discussing. It's boring.

8) Apart from that there are subtle things you can do which can create a persona that conveys you are not open towards personal questions. You can do it by simply detaching yourself whenever someone starts talking about their personal lives. Don't be a participant or a listener. It gives a que you are not looking to bond personally and many other similar things.

9) If you are truly in a toxic work culture where your colleagues seem to constantly bug and bully you to share personal stuff (happened with me in my previous workplace) Firmly state,"I come here to work not to make personal relations."

10) Ignore.

I hope it helps even a little there's not much we can do without offending the other person but we can be gentle and polite in our tone and gesture that's the only way.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

[icyg4l]

PAC: Uncovering the Lies

Which area of your life have you been lying to yourself about? In this pick-a-pile, truths that you have been scared to face will be revealed to you. If you’ve been having any doubts about a situation, have been in denial about something or do not know about deceit, then it will all be confirmed/shown here. Without further ado, pick your pile.

Left-to-Right (1-4):

Pile One: If you chose the photo of the word ‘she’, then you’ve been lying to yourself about that situationship, or should i say ‘shituationship.’ You have the tendency to put a lot of energy into relationships in comparison to the other person. You hope for that person to come around and they simply don’t show up for you the way you want to. It’s time to stop trying with this person. This could honestly go for other relationships too like with a friend or a distant family member. You’re looking for some stability, Pile One. You’re not looking for a fair weather friend or a part-time lover. You’re looking for the full package & it’s time to stop denying yourself of that love you are seeking. You’re pure-hearted but need to start acting accordingly. Get a little more strict so that you can attract the relationship(s) that you are looking for. You deserve better. And I’m not going to lie, Pile One, people are saying that you deserve better behind your back. So, put yourself in a better position, love. I pulled some oracle cards for you for some advice that you can follow and here is what was said:

“A new romantic cycle begins”

“Communication is key”

“Nothing is yet set in stone”

Cards Used: 7 of Swords, Ace of Cups, Queen of Swords, 8 of Wands, Ace of Discs, The Chariot, Knight of Discs.

Signs: PISCES, Sag, Libra, Leo.

extras: let it go by elsa. flowers by iyla. red hair. glowing skin. honey. abandonment issues. gapped teeth. upbeat song listener. open heart chakra. peace sign. bridgit mendler. ivy league. political internship. yoga.

Pile Two: If you chose the pile of the headless woman, I would say that you definitely need a break, Pile Two. You deserve to come out and play with everyone else. When was the last time you went out for a drink with some friends, huh? You’re all work and no play. You’ve been saying that you’re fine when you’re not. I sense that you’ve been a little hotheaded lately because you have no outlet for your frustrations. Please, let loose. I’m channeling the movie Daddy’s Little Girls, specifically the scene where Monty and Julia go to the local bar after she has a long day at work and they end up bonding with one another over drinks. I think that’s what you need, babe. You’re such a hard worker but you’re also an overachiever. Those go hand-in-hand just like work and play. I feel like this pile is just so serious like your tolerance for things that you once could handle has probably decreased, so you’re more irritable nowadays. With that being said, you should probably book that flight or call up that friend. You need to just wind down. I pulled some oracle cards for you and here is what was said:

“Be bold and make the first move”

“What do you need to release?”

“Hold your vision”

Cards Used: Temperance, King of Discs, King of Swords, Death, King of Wands, Page of Wands.

Signs: Virgo, Capricorn, Scorpio, Aquarius.

extras: refill by elle varner. work hard, play hard by wiz khalifa. smoke break. 22. paying close attention to the news. puffy eyes. headaches. going to bed early. miami for spring break. mean girls. stress eating. fight night.

Pile Three: If you chose the closeup of Megan Thee Stallion, then you’ve definitely gotten yourself into a sticky situation. There is some sort of pattern that you have not recognized yet and you’re wondering why this thing keeps happening to you. You feel like you cannot escape this toxic situation. One minute things are fine, the next minute, you feel like nothing can go right. Pile Three, you’ve grown accustomed to toxicity. It was taught to you as you grew up and you never really unlearned it. But I’m here to tell you that the relationship you’ve got yourself in is acting as a mirror for you to do better. Some call it a karmic relationship or a twin flame relationship. But either way, this is not meant to last for a long time. Everything will be okay as long as you choose to see things for what they are. This means attending therapy, doing the shadow work, crying, transmuting the pain into something beautiful and purging. Your situation is dysfunctional, Pile Three. But only you can get yourself out of it. I pulled some oracle cards for you and here is what was said:

“A fiery climax approaches”

“A personal issue reaches resolution”

“A time to give rather than take”

Cards Used: Page of Wands, Ace of Cups, The Tower (RX), Queen of Cups, Three of Swords, 5 of Wands, 7 of Cups, 4 of Wands (RX).

Signs: Taurus, Leo, Virgo, Aries, Cancer.

extras: chipped tooth. salt and vinegar chips. chocolate. breath of fresh air. greedy by ariana grande. twins. we belong together by mariah carey. fish and chips. wakanda forever. peppa pig. y8 games. tilapia.

Pile Four: If you chose the leopard’s paws/lady’s hands photo, then you need to stick to your word! You’ve been playing games. I feel like this pile doesn’t really believe in themselves. You’re your own biggest critic. You can be very nitpicky and judgmental or fall victim to the words of others and end up sulking because of it. You haven’t been putting in as much work to accomplish your dreams. The intuitive feeling that you get when you think of that idea — use this energy to create! Maybe you don’t have a lot of supporters around you and this is what’s preventing you from going hard. But that’s the thing, you can use the haters as your motivators. Very cliche what I just said, but it’s true. I feel that you think too much about what could be done instead of actually doing it. Don’t just talk about what you’re going to do. Be about it! You don’t even have to tell people what you plan to do. You can always keep it to yourself. That’s the best option for you anyway. Worry about the results later. You can do it, Pile Three! You got this! I pulled some oracle cards for you and here is what was said:

“Believe in the impossible”

“Nothing is yet set in stone”

“Expect powerful change”

Cards Used: The High Priestess, Seven of Swords, Justice, Prince of Swords, Princess of Cups, Strength, The Sun, Judgment, 4 of Cups.

Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Gemini, Pisces.

extras: close friends. the challengers. lorde fan. skin-to-skin contact. silver rings. LA. dynasty. pick me. time tables. clock in. red lipstick. side bangs. the game (2006). twiggy eye makeup. how high (2001).

[pseudophan]

hi getting back into these guys and random question. obviously it seems like Dan and Phil (whilst keeping their private life private which good for them) also don’t care about people thinking what they want. Have they ever given a reason for moving into a ‘forever home’ together?

They used to use the excuse they were both YouTubers so easier to live with someone to help with videos back in the day. ‘no homo days’ I guess. But nowadays they both can’t really keep using that excuse since their personal videos don’t realllyyy require the others help as much as back then. Gaming channel again not an excuse it was on hiatus. Dan even still using his ‘Phil is messy and stressful to live with’ bit. (y you living with him then Dan?)

So Have they ever given a reason to still living together for 10+ years, in their 30’s gay & now home owning together? or have they just been vibing along, fine with letting it be known the fact they have bought a home, homosexual homeowners, and are just letting people think what they think? (They know what people think)

I guess I’m just remembering around 2012 times when they were changing the how they met story (mutual friend in Manchester anyone. Bumped into Phil in town one day? Editing tips?) and using YouTube excuse for living together. Seems crazy that 10 years later here we are. Both out, not hiding they bought and designed a home together and (as far as I’m aware) aren’t using needing the other to help with videos as the only reason for still living together.

Good for them either way. love them <3. sorry this got long!

honestly they started talking about a forever home and we all just kinda went along with it. i think there came a point where the vast majority of phannies were assuming they're together in some way shape or form, and for a few years we had this mutual understanding of we know and they know we know and we know they know we know but outside of fan circles nobody's Saying it. i suppose we still have this, except hilariously there are now a lot more people falling over themselves condemning people for saying they're an item lol

because of this it didn't really feel like a big thing when they announced that they'd bought a house, like i don't even think the majority of people were talking about how that means they're gonna live together forever because at that point we already assumed as much, it felt so inevitable

but as far as what dnp have outright said, i think the interview responses from dan during his we're all doomed press tour are the most blatant quotes we've got. like, he's not saying it, but he's also not Not saying it

..well actually he kind of is just saying it. lol.

edit: oh and of course we can't forget the iconic attitude 2020 interview

[alicenpai]

hi! ive been a big fan of your work for a while now, and i was just wondering if you have any tips or anything for selling merch online? :>

hi anon! so you want to be a con artist huh 👁👁 ...

^ a real con artist..

i’m not sure if you wanted online specific tips or general merch tips, but i compiled a bit of both! (also not sure if you're a beginner to art in general, there's a difference between a more experienced artist doing merch for the first time + beginner artists trying merch for the first time bc the risks involved are different)

i wrote more on the subject but i cut some out because it seemed too long.. and i tend to ramble ^__T it's hard to answer questions like these because they're so generalized, but if you had any more specific questions feel free to send another ask!

^ random image for visual interest

general tips for beginners(?)

merch can be fun, and it is! but in the end always remind yourself you're running a business, and it's real money you're going to be spending. it's good to take risks (on things like, new product types if you think your art is ready for it, or less popular series/more experimental designs, etc.) as you learn a lot from them, but always think over financial decisions carefully at the same time.

what helped me grow a lot as both a merch artist (and as a general artist) over 10 years is - a lot of reflection. and i mean a LOT of it. in terms of art in general i don't personally do a lot of studies (which is probably my downfall and i need to get back to it) but i think im pretty observant and introspective which helps me improve a lot. i often write my silly little blog posts on tumblr, I'll write notes on my phone if i have a train of thought i need to get down quickly.

i also often discuss merch things with friends and it really helps to get varying perspectives. (though i admit i should really share wips more, i used to but not as much anymore. blame the working life haha, not as many people have time to discuss non-work art anymore ;_;). all of these things keep me on my toes and weigh my strengths and weaknesses. if anyone is interested i could write more on the specific topics i reflect on after every con/shop opening.

stick to the tried and true 5-10 copies per design for beginners! this range sounds too little, but don't forget the big picture as well... you'll likely also have multiple different designs, across different product types.

e.g. 5 copies x 4 characters/designs, and let's say you do this for every product type (e.g. postcards, stickers, charms), 5 x 4 x 3 = 60 individual pieces of merch. that's a pretty solid number for a first timer!

i also personally print 5-10 copies of designs im doing for a test print run, or for characters that don't seem particularly popular.

15 is the average amount for me for a short run product (1 con season)

i certainly reprint often + go higher sometimes if i dont mind the product being in my catalogue for years.

15 is not too many in case the design is unpopular and doesn't sell, and it's also not too little that it won't be enough sales to break even.

promo images & taking photos (online specific)

i'm not a professional photographer and these photos might be absolute ass to some people. i will accept that, and honestly id agree with you. this is just my advice for straightforward, simple photos.

good quality and clear photos are best. it's great fun to use props in photos, and they can certainly turn your photos from plain to impressive. but it's easy to get carried away with props and fancy scrapbook paper imo, and i prefer to let the artwork speak for itself. honestly keeping it simple can be the best option sometimes. i used to take a lot more photos back in 2022 when i had less new products, but nowadays i find that i have too many products to take photos of, so i prefer to just keep my photos simple with a white piece of paper as my backdrop. i just. shrimply cannot be bothered taking out all of the props anymore...

above: the backdrop in this photo is bad, it's distracting and takes away from the artwork. (fe charms from 2016)

this are photos taken on a sunny day.

if you don't have a good phone camera (mine is ~5 years old), ive found that taking photos on a sunny day, either inside or outside, work great for me, as it shows off the natural colour of your product best. i either take it to the garden or i like to find a patch of sunlight filtering through the window. be wary of glare or too much light reflecting on your merch in photos though, because it can be distracting and take away from visibility on the product. but i can understand if a bit of glare ends up on one's finalized merch photos.

this is an example of utilizing light at a certain angle to show off the holographic film on this charm.

sunny photo vs cloudy photo.

taking photos inside on a cloudy day during daylight hours is also a popular option, especially if you live in an area where there isn't much direct sunlight/cloudy season, but for me personally i find cloudy day photos come out a bit dull and do take a bit of colour correcting. all of my cloudy day photos are tweaked and i find the colours to be a bit off from the original products, but that's just how it is with taking photos i guess.

because i don't have a great phone camera, my personal alternative is to make graphics! i just think of it as a collage to use fun textures and PNGs! im obviously not a professional, and these probably look very bad in a professional's eye. but i think it's fun. i like to incorporate the aesthetic or visual style of the series into the graphic if i do make em. ^_^

store platform

each one has their pros and cons. many store platforms have trial periods/free plans for people to try out.

bigcartel is what i use and i'm familiar with, and i would honestly recommend it. (i'm too lazy to move or try another platform right now...) for big store openings ill pay for a month or two of the basic $15 plan. ill use the free gold plan on bigcartel if im only planning to open my store for a limited time and don't want to commit to a full monthly plan.

storenvy: i've used storenvy from about 2014-16. i moved from storenvy for issues such as charging customers fees for purchasing from storenvy's marketplace page (and not from your actual personalized storefront) and urging me to use stripe even though it wasn't supported in canada at that time. im not sure if theyve fixed these issues but they were pervasive issues at the time that honestly forced me to quit. it also has a kind of outdated UI (e.g. can't zoom into pics on mobile?).

i think storenvy is a very easy to use platform for beginners because it's very basic! but i wouldn't recommend it if you have a great number of products, or if you're looking for more advanced features.

tictail isn't available anymore, i couldn't recommend it for that reason. i used it from around 2016-18.

i don't have any experience on shopify or etsy. shopify i heard is great because of all of the neat features you can implement, which you can use to really make your store yours. etsy has a huge marketplace which helps discoverability, but i have also heard there are many fees, so a lot of artists unfortunately make their prices a bit higher on etsy.

ecwid is also one that i've heard pop up. some also host shops on weebly or squarespace.

shipping

if you don't already have a kitchen scale, it's a good idea to get one if you think you'll be using it a lot to weigh packages! a postage scale is probably better. i just have a kitchen scale because it's cheap. as long as the measurements are precise (don't use a bathroom scale with a dial like me when i started out lmao).

thermal labels are also a good investment if you think youll need em!! i actually don't personally use them, because i have way too much hand-me-down stacks of paper in my home, so i don't see the need to make an extra investment. the downside to printing shipping labels on paper is taking the time to cut and stick them on packages.

i'm from canada (surprising the amount of people who think im from the US T__T) so these tips will be canadian specific, but you can hopefully get the gist.

when i was starting out, i used canada post (usps is the american equivalent) to send out store orders. however shipping labels from your govt post office can be pricey. which is why it's a good option to join their small business program if they have one, where you'll receive discounts on shipping labels. i don't use canada post shipping anymore, but i will use them for countries that my shipping agent doesn't ship to.

also take advantage of their free shipping tuesdays for domestic packages in october!! i believe you can receive 2 free labels per tuesday, up to 4 or 5 tuesdays for the entire month = 8-10 free labels in october.

next step is shipping agents!! if you live close to a chitchats or stallion express facility, they're great, and they usually provide tracking on shipping by default. in my opinion, tracking on orders is a MUST, so customers can have peace of mind! (minus like sticker-only shipping because that could be sent with postage stamps)

they also do home pickup if you have a bunch of packages in bulk/can't get to a facility. i believe americans have pirate ship.

you print and stick on your shipping labels at home, then you just travel to the shipping facility and throw your packages in the right bins (e.g. domestic, US, international). that's it! easy as pie!

i personally use chitchats because that is closer to me. i had heard stallion provides better rates for international shipping, which i'll have to look at at a later date.

most of my orders come from the US and canada. (funnily enough it is unfortunately cheaper to send packages from canada to USA, than it is for me to send packages within canada.) international orders are a bit of a pain, and you will need to know tariff codes for your product types (e.g. prints have a diff code than buttons) while writing the customs form. people in some countries will get taxed on all imported packages (e.g. packages marked as "sold goods" and not "gifts"). an alternative to this is to use etsy, so that customers can pre-pay for the tariffs before the order is processed. this is something i'll also look into for the future.

posting

wow now you're now done organizing your shop and promo images and you're ready to post! a good strategy is to post across multiple platforms to see what sticks. it takes effort and time but it can have a solid turnout! (i forget sometimes, don't be like me)

i don't know if this is true, but a lot of keywords words such as "shop", "store", "link" and etc. are apparently suppressed on social media (particularly twitter). don't take my word for it however.

shop posts don't generally do as well as regular art posts for most artists. but disregarding censored words for a second, it can also be attributed to psychological reasons, generally people don't like to be advertised to. (e.g. tumblr doesn't have an algorithm and shop posts usually dont do as well here either. tumblr users are just not receptive to clicking on links apparently).

personally, writing alternate terms like "sh0p" just isn't for me, but no shade though, bc i do understand workarounds are hard and everyone needs to make a living somehow. ill instead use words like, "leftovers are in" or "new items are up!" something more vague, but with the accompaniment of merch images, will still be clear to people that it's a shop update.

sharing your shop promo posts in artist alley discord servers also help a lot, especially if you don't know too many artists when starting out. they're a great resource and community full of passionate individuals who will boost your art. if you're not familiar with them, you can find some public ones on google or maybe even artist communities on reddit. a big one is Artist Alley Network International.

if there are some topics you think i've missed, feel free to send em over to my inbox!! ill also think more about this in the coming days and edit this post as i see fit 🫡

[glutengoblin]

Overwhelmed (Sebastian Sallow X Reader)

A/N: Hi all! Apologies for being MIA recently after always promising I have new work coming. I've been incredibly busy with work and applications (and managing my health, honestly), so I haven't had much time to write at all. I finally hit a bit of a wall and needed a break, so I figured I might as well write something. Applications will hopefully be over in the next few weeks and I will be back to normal!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this short fic and that it reminds you to take a break when you need it <3. Love y'all!

Summary: Just some fluff to hopefully make you feel better if you're overwhelmed! (She/her pronouns, house neutral)

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Mild language

Disclaimer: None!

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Y/N muttered to herself as she meandered down the hall, savoring the silence that had enveloped her. It seemed like this was all the peace she could hope for nowadays - some quiet between classes, some quiet before she was reminded of the insane weight of her life at the moment.

Sure, no longer was she under the life and death pressure of her fifth year, but somehow this seemed to weigh on her just as much. Perhaps it was worsened by the fact that she didn’t feel comfortable sharing her anguish within anyone else yet. Her fifth year - and the death of her mentor, Professor Fig - had left many scars on Y/N, but her lack of willingness to admit when she was overwhelmed seemed to be the most pervasive.

It was a tricky thing being the the “Hero of Hogwarts”. Y/N never exactly wanted the tilted, but now that she held it, she wanted to do her best to live up to the expectations of her. She had been through much worse, she had defeated Ranrok and she had lost people close to her. To admit that she was feeling stumped by her classwork and even her career would be too much.

So, she kept it to herself as she made her way through the Hogwarts’ halls towards the potions classroom, shivering at the temperature drop as she descended into the dungeons. Y/N felt like a mess as she walked into the classroom, the weight of her stuffed book bag pulling heavily at her shoulder. She was thankful that it was still cool enough outside to don a robe, meaning she could hide her abnormally disheveled shirt. Frankly, Y/N was pretty sure that as much as she felt like a mess, she looked even more like one

The potion classroom was abuzz with conversation, likely a symptom of both Professor Sharp not showing face yet and what had occurred in the last class period. While Garreth normally had issues with potions, this time, he had managed to explode a whole cauldron of their latest assignment, not only covering the walls in green slime but Ominis as well. Ominis was particularly livid, given the slime had managed to dye his pale blonde hair a sickly shade of green - one that had gained enough bad jokes from Sebastian that even Ominis knew it had to be a horrid sight.

Y/N had tried her best to help Garreth clean up after the incident, feeling bad for the boy per usual, but there were still some green spots on the ceiling that were visible if one took the time to squint.

She made her way over to her normal station with the boys, plopping down in her seat next to Sebastian as she began to remove her books from her bag. Sebastian’s eyes passed over her frame with worry. In the two years they had been dating, he had yet to see her as stressed as she was now. He had tried to approach her about it a couple of times over the past week, but as always she had denied that anything was wrong. Y/N was always stubborn, but even to Sebastian, this was a new level.

Once she got more settled, Sebastian offered her a small smile and snatched her hand in his, squeezing it gently. He studied her face, a smile appearing on his lips. “How are you doing today m’love?” Y/N let out a sigh in response, kindling hope in Sebastian that she might finally admit what had been bothering her.

“Well, Sebastian. I’m fine, just a little overwhelmed with classes at the moment… But I shall handle it.” She pulled her hand away gently, as a frown began to pass over Sebastian's features. He took a few extra moments to study his girlfriend, before deciding that perhaps it was time to finally call her out on her bullshit.

“Y/N… please. I can tell you’re not fine, you haven’t been fine for a few weeks. Can you please talk to me about it?” Y/N’s borrows furrowed at that, but based on the expression on his face, she knew there was no getting out of this conversation.

“I… I suppose I’m just overwhelmed with classes at the moment Sebastian. NEWTS are coming up and I’ve been trying my best to keep up with everything… but…” Sebastian raised an eyebrow at her, clasping her hand again.

“But?”

“I really haven’t been handling it well.” Y/N let the words out hurriedly as if it wasn’t a statement she wanted to consider the full weight of herself. Sebastian nodded his head, honestly just relieved that she had finally admitted what he had been assuming out loud.

“It’s understandable, Y/N, entirely. You’re taking more classes than pretty much any other student right now. I obviously think you can handle it, being the incredibly smart witch you are… But, when was the last time you took a break? I feel like I’ve hardly seen you outside of classes, meals, and crossed wands lately.” She shuffled under his gaze, running a hand anxiously through her hair.

“Honestly, a good few weeks.” She cowered a bit, as concern grew on Sebastian’s face.

“That’s probably it then. You need to relax Y/N. It’s Friday… Meet me at the Room of Requirement, tonight.” It was then Y/N’s turn to raise her eyebrows. The expression on Sebastian’s face was resolute. As much as she typically loved to argue with him, she knew there was no winning this time. Besides, Professor Sharp had finally made his appearance and now Y/N had to start monitoring Garreth again to ensure that another color wasn’t added to Ominis’s stylish new hairdo.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

It was a few hours later when Y/N finally left the confines of the library and began making her way up the long steps to the Defense Against the Dark Arts Tower. She had opted to skip dinner to make more time for whatever surprise Sebastian had in store for her. Y/N was beginning to regret that decision though, as her stomach began to grumble.

When she pressed on the wall and walked through the door, she wasn’t surprised to see Sebastian standing in front of her. The top couple buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, his tie was loosened, and his sleeves rolled up. The light dusting of pink on his cheekbones further hinted at the fact that he had been setting something up and Y/N grew ever more curious.

Sebastian was rocking back and forth between his heels and toes as he smiled at her. “Please put your things down here. I don’t need you being tempted to do any more studying when you’re supposed to be relaxing.” His extra emphasis on the last word made Y/N do as he said, setting her things neatly down by the entrance.

With that, Sebastian took her hand in his, and pulled her off to the left, into the larger room that typically housed her personal study and potions stations. Instead, where her desk and chairs normally stood, a large white sheet covered the furniture, creating a makeshift tent. When she leaned down to get a better look, she realized there were cushions lining the floor, both large and small. He had enchanted some strings to admit a soft light, adding to the cozy ambiance of the space. Off to the side, a plate of muffins sat, and what looked like something she hadn’t expected to see at Hogwarts.

Y/N’s eyes traveled over to Sebastian, who had a wide grin on his face. “Well… Do you like it? Whenever Anne and I were feeling overwhelmed with the world, we used to make forts as children.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, the earlier flush deepening on his cheeks. “It helped make us feel safe… Forget about everything for a while. I was hoping it could do the same for you.”

She couldn’t contain her smile as she pulled him into a tight hug. A sense of relief began to wash over her, as she realized just how much she needed this break from studying. “It’s wonderful Sebastian. But I am curious, where did you find a Backgammon board anywhere near Howgarts. Its a muggle game.” Sebastian flashed her another smile, planting a kiss on the top of her head.

“I’ve been saving it. Ever since you mentioned it was your favorite board game in your childhood, I bought a set. I was just saving it for the right occasion to give it to you.” Y/N melted at that, hugging him even tighter, murmuring into his chest.

“I… Thank you Sebastian. I love you. You’re too good for me.” He stiffened at that, tucking his fingers under her chin to get her to look at him.

“Please don’t ever say that again Y/N. You’re the one who is too good for me. Much too good for me… After everything I put you through in fifth year - let's just say I count my blessings every day that I get to call you mine.” His smile lingered for a bit longer before he unsealed the hug, tugging her to the fort. “Now, we have some games to play I believe!”

The two students proceeded to munch on muffins and play multiple rounds of the Backgammon until they were eventually tied - the only way their competitive natures would let them stop. With stomachs full and hearts happy, Sebastian let out a content sigh as Y/N moved to his side of the board, tucking herself against his side and they laid down.

Sebastian pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, stroking her hair gently as he pulled her higher to his chest. “I love you, Y/N. And I know you’re capable of anything you set your mind to.” She murmured happily against his cheek, her lips just ghosting against his skin.

“I know you are too. I love you, Sebastian.”

With that, the two lovers fell asleep in each other’s arms, not stirring until sunlight filtered through the stained glass windows of the Room of Requirement.

[cbrownjc]

Hello :) I was wondering if we ever got confirmation about which books Rolin is interested in focusing this adaptation on? I know that they'll probably take elements from most (if not all) VC books, but if they're aiming at 7-8 seasons with some books taking multiple seasons to adapt, they're going to have to pick and choose which books to really dig into.

I was also thinking about production. I've seen people talk about how we'll need to wait another 1.5-2 years between seasons and I kinda doubt that? I feel like we'll start speeding things up and getting a new season every year, mostly because I just can't see them go for 12+ years of production on this show. Very few shows nowadays go more than 10 years, and if they really want to do 7-8 seasons I can't see how they'll manage that with 1.5 to 2 years in between each season. I understand they're in for the long haul with the Immortal Universe but...that's very long in the modern drama landscape.

Honestly I am mostly just hoping to get new seasons more frequently and also be able to see their full vision realized because the longer it goes on the higher the chance they'll run into issues like actor availability, leadership changes that could impact renewals, budget restrictions, etc. What do you think?

Hello!

Okay, first to answer the production question. Now, while many shows rarely go past 10 years wrt production of them, that is really dependent on their Season count. Game of Thrones, for example, only ran for 8 Seasons, and production only lasted 8 years as well.

The Walking Dead ran for 11 Seasons and was produced over 12 years.

AMC has said in the past (or, at least, Rolin Jones has said that AMC has said) that they wanted 10 Seasons for IWTV. RJ, however, has been consistent in saying he has an 8 Season plan.

So whether the show continues on for at least 2 more years after Rolin's 8 Season plan is up in the air right now and we should just focus on, at most, getting 8 Seasons, Which yes, I think will take over the course of 8-9 years to film.

Because I think starting with Season 3, the wait and production times will decrease over time. Remember, the strikes threw a bit of a wrench into things. But what also did regarding Season 2 was that it's clear that Rolin and the writing staff didn't start actually writing Season 2 until AMC had officially greenlit Season 2 back in September of 2022. That is why shooting for Season 2 couldn't start in the fall of 2022, there were no scripts broken, let alone written yet!

And then, once the scripts were done, they still had to start pre-production stuff, such as location scouting, figuring out which sets needed to be built, etc.

So shooting for Season 2 could only start shooting when it did because it was the earliest they could get all that done once they were given a renewal notice.

I think things are very different when it comes to Season 3 because I think, even if the show hadn't already been quietly renewed for Season 3 before it was officially announced, RJ and the other writers were already breaking and writing the scripts for Season 3 starting either just before or while Season 2 was airing. And so given that writing time, plus the fact that they probably don't have to do as much location scouting (since many of those locations were already found in Season 2) pre-production will likely take less time.

I think filming will begin in late October, meaning we'd get an October 2025 release date. Which I think will be the standard release window going forward with each new season and why the wait will be another long one again, but that will also give the production staff and actors breathing room after they are done filming a season before going into the next one.

So for that reason, I can see production of the show lasting 9-10 years, but that is because of the extra 1/2 year gaps between the filming and airing of Season 2 and the one I feel we are going to get for Season 3.

As well as the fact that I think when they get to Queen of the Damned, that will be a true split-season like the one Breaking Bad got for its final season. That show had Season 5, Part 1, and Season 5, Part 2. Because even though this past season was called "Season 2" externally, you can see by the episode numbers that internally, what this really was was "Season 1, Part 2."

Anyway, as to the books being adapted -- and not just having elements taken from them -- Rolin has said for sure we are getting IWTV (which we just finished), The Vampire Lestat (Season 3), Queen of the Damned (which is where he spoke about it being so epic and grand a story that they will probably have to split the season in order to tell it all) and Tale of the Body Theif (which he confirmed after Season 2 was finished that they were beginning to already set up for). He also mentioned at Comic-Con in 2022 that Prince Lestat would be adapted.

Also, while RJ talked about the book The Vampire Armand being important, he's never said it would get its own separate adaptation, which honestly makes sense. Because of the way that book is told, you can just interweave elements of it when you want to focus on Armand's backstory, or even just do a stand-alone episode here and there dedicated to parts of it. It really isn't the kind of book you do a full season on IMO.

So yeah. The books that we know for sure are getting their own, full adaptations per RJ so far are IWTV, TVL, QotD, TotBT, and PL.

I can see them throwing elements of books like Memnoch, TVA, and Blood and Gold into it all, but I don't know if they'll get their own full-season adaptations. As I said, I don't think TVA will. And I don't think B&G will either, as I see it just like TVA -- you adapt elements of it during a season, maybe even full sections of it for a flashback episode or so during a season, but it doesn't get its own full stand-alone season.

The same goes for Merrick, since they already did Louis' suicide attempt and Louis seems to be moving forward from his despair and grief regarding Claudia -- so that even if Lestat did fall into his post-Memnoch coma in the show, I'm not sure this Louis would attempt to end his life again over that loss. (Even more so after this Louis also got that letter from Lestat in the past, telling Louis to please live on in the event of his death.)

I have no idea if they are seriously going to ever do Blackwood Farm or Blood Canticle. Neither book has ever been mentioned, even in passing. Plus, they kind of depend on what and where Mayfair Witches is at or has going on at the time and well, that show . . . 😅

Oh! And they might be looking to adapt the whole Prince Lestat trilogy, but I don't remember if RJ has talked about adapting the whole trilogy -- meaning the entirety of each book -- or just the full first book and then elements from the other two. (Because I do think it's clear that, if anything, we'll get the Loustat ballroom dance from Blood Communion in the final season of the show).

So yeah, I think that this is what we're looking at for the next few years, book adaptation-wise.

[whatifitookalilnap]

The Magic of Makeup

(Kyoshi x Rangi)

(A/N: EVERYONE PLS THERE IS A SMUT SCENE HERE! WE GET PORN WITH PLOT SO LIKE AVERT YOUR EYES IF THATS NOT YOUR THING!!!!! Also don't judge me cause IDK how diplomacy or nobility stuff works I'm here for drama. Anywho I already made a couple posts about this but I thought it was so funny that I decided to make a whole fic. The ao3 link will be posted right after this for those who prefer it. Anywho, pls enjoy!)

Kyoshi was jolted awake by Jinpa roughly shaking her entire body. The Avatar immediately sat up and grabbed her fans placed right beside her bed. 

“Who’s dying?!” Kyoshi exclaimed as she jumped out of bed.

“No one, but the Fire Nation nobility are here! Like, they are waiting in front of the gates as we speak!” Jinpa hissed.

“What do you mean they’re already here?! They were supposed to arrive at lunch!” Kyoshi yelled.

“That’s what I was told. I think this is some kind of power play. Just get dressed,” Jinpa insisted.

“Damn! Do you think I can get away with not wearing any of my usual makeup? There’s no way I’m going to have the time but I still need to look intimidating! It’s part of my whole shtick!” Kyoshi asked.

“You’re six and half feet tall, I think you can make it work. Now get changed, woman! We got people to argue with! I'll meet you there!” Jinpa said before rushing out the door.

Kyoshi cursed before springing out of bed to put on her usual business attire. Alright, the green outfit? Check. The headdress? Check. The fans? Check. Big ass gloves? Ah shit, they're not here. Whatever, it’s not that important. Well, that’s all Kyoshi has time for.

The Avatar quickly threw open the door to her bedroom and began speed walking down the hall. Kyoshi already hated leaving her room without makeup. Nowadays, putting on her makeup is step one of her morning routine. She can't remember the last time she handled Avatar business with a bare face. It made her feel vulnerable. Exposed. This meeting needs to end quickly.

As she was speed walking to the conference room where this meeting is to be held, Kyoshi spotted her girl briskly walking in halls. The Avatar couldn’t resist perking up at the sight of her girlfriend coming to meet her. Of course, Rangi had already been awake for an hour before the stupid nobles arrived. She’s always been an early riser.

“Did you have any clue they were coming in so early?” Rangi asked once they met up.

“No, Jinpa had to wake me. I had zero time to get ready,” Kyoshi sighed as the two fell into step with each other.

“I assume that’s why you’re not wearing any makeup,” Rangi very correctly guessed. 

“Yeah, there’s just no way I could have made it happen,” the tall woman confirmed.

“I think that’s for the best, honestly. Being punctual should take priority in this scenario,” Rangi nodded.

Kyoshi felt a surge of pride course through her when Rangi approved of her plans. If only the world knew how weak the Avatar is for her girlfriend. She’d be killed within a week. 

“Let’s get this over with. Hopefully the little bastards are more agreeable this time around,” Kyoshi sighed. 

How Kyoshi despises the damn Fire Nation nobles sent into the damn peace agreement. Kyoshi’s had like five other meetings with them and has been unable to come to an agreement all parties are happy with.

The names of the three nobles that have been utterly torturing Kyoshi for weeks are Akira, Nao, and Chari. Akira does most of the talking, Nao and Chari are really just her yesmen. They're all simply unbearable. The three of them were around her age of twenty two, which is probably what makes them so insufferable. They’re young, spoiled, rich, think they know everything under the damn sun, and worst of all, they don’t have the good sense to fear her. 

Anyone with half a brain should be terrified of Kyoshi! It’s like Jinpa said, she’s six feet and six inches tall! She towers over everyone she meets! Plus the makeup! Ghostly white face and bloody red eyes?? That’s the perfect recipe for fear! How can anyone not be terrified of her?

Maybe it’s wrong to feel so upset that some people aren’t scared of her, but Kyoshi can’t help it. People not having a healthy amount of fear when interacting with her makes her uneasy. If the literal Avatar can’t freak someone out, what can? 

“Wait, one more thing before we go in there,” Rangi said as she stopped right outside the door of the meeting room. 

“What? Did I forget something?” Kyoshi frowned.

“You did,” Rangi confirmed. 

Kyoshi furrowed her brows and went back through her mental checklist involving her attire. Outside of the makeup and gloves, Kyoshi is pretty positive she had everything she needed.

Naturally, Rangi proved her wrong. The firebender cupped Kyoshi’s face in her hands and gave her a light kiss on the lips. At once, Kyoshi’s arms went to Rangi’s hips in order to deepen the delightful sensation. Sadly, Rangi pulled away. 

“You’re going to do great. Stop worrying so much. That’s supposed to be my job,” Rangi smirked. 

“Kay,” Kyoshi said. You know, like an idiot. 

Rangi should never have kissed her right before such an important meeting. Now all Kyoshi can think about is the next opportunity for those lips to be back on her. Kyoshi is so in love with her it physically hurts. 

Okay, time to get the love struck look off her face before facing the nobles. Kyoshi took in a deep breath before nodding to Rangi. With that, her loyal bodyguard opened the doors to where Jinpa and the nobles sat. 

The Fire Nation nobles were muttering amongst themselves as they had during every single one of the past meetings. Typical. Kyoshi had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. However, once the three nobles looked at her, they immediately shut up. That was a surprise.

During the past meetings, even when Kyoshi made her presence known, the little trolls still blabbed on and acted as though she didn't even exist. They would only stop talking when Kyoshi started to speak. However, today she didn’t need to say a word before all eyes were on her. All of the nobles were looking at Kyoshi with shocked expressions, flushed faces, and one of them had their lips parted slightly open in what she can only assume is shock. 

This is suspicious as fuck. 

“Apologies, everyone. I hadn’t realized we would be meeting so soon. Please accept my tardiness,” Kyoshi said respectfully with a bow. 

What she really wanted to say was ‘couldn’t you have given a girl a heads up before meeting me at the crack of dawn’ but that didn’t seem appropriate.

Akira then sprung up out of her seat to pull out a chair for Kyoshi to sit. Kyoshi quickly glanced at Rangi and Jinpa in wonder to see if she's seeing the same thing. Now why on Earth would Akira do that?

“Of course, we certainly didn’t mean to inconvenience such a beautiful woman as yourself. Please, allow me,” Akira said.

Rangi looked like she wanted to set Akira on fire. Kyoshi shared the sentiment. What is she playing at? Less than a minute in and it's rather obvious they are sucking up to her. Ultimately, Kyoshi did sit down on the seat Akira pulled out for her in the name of civility. But that doesn't mean Kyoshi had to like it.

“If you don’t mind me asking, where’s Avatar Kyoshi?” Nao asked.

Kyoshi shot Rangi and Jinpa yet another look. Are these idiots being serious right now?

“I didn’t realize I was so unrecognizable without my makeup,” was all Kyoshi said. 

Granted, that is a lie, but she really didn't know what else to say that's a polite statement. Whenever Kyoshi goes into town with a bare face, many do not make the connection despite her rather noticeable height.

“What? You’re Avatar Kyoshi? Really?” Chari blurted out. 

Oh, this is going to be a long meeting.

“Yes, I am,” Kyoshi nodded.

“I didn't realize you were hiding freckles under all that makeup. You wear them well,” Nao smiled. 

Is Kyoshi drunk? Did somebody slip her something when she wasn't paying attention? What in all Four Nations is happening right now? They must want something from her if they're being this nice.

“I think we need to get started with this meeting,” Jinpa rushed out hastily. It was almost as if he was in a panic. Odd.

“Of course. Please, start us off. Your voice is quite soothing, Avatar Kyoshi,” Akira smiled, chin resting in the palm of her left hand.

Kyoshi actually thinks she’s experiencing whiplash right now. In past meetings, when the discussion gets opened up on a subject, the nobles immediately try arguing for their side. It takes ages for them to be willing to hear Kyoshi out. Something is so wrong here. It's best to ignore that compliment for now.

The more the negotiations progressed, the weirder everything got. The three nobles, mainly Akira, kept blatantly sucking up to her by praising everything she did. While it's true her reputation has improved as the Avatar the past couple years, it certainly wasn't enough to warrant this kind of reaction.

Even one of the people on her side was acting strange. Jinpa, who's usually a man of patience and serenity, seemed very antsy to move things along. He would often try to steer the conversation away from the nobles when their compliments became too excessive.

Rangi was the only one who was making sense right now. As per usual, she took her role as a bodyguard very seriously. She stood there, stoic as a statue, ready to defend Kyoshi should any dangers arise.

Kyoshi stole a quick glance at her girl to find her looking ever so slightly more irritated than usual. Who can blame her, honestly? Kyoshi wants this to be over just as much as Rangi does.

About one hour in and Kyoshi is bored out of her mind. She propped her chin on the palm of her left hand. It's really not proper etiquette and she might get scolded for it later, but Kyoshi is not at a point where she cares. She then felt an itch on her nose, so she used her right hand to scratch it.

Akira was speaking like she always did, but her voice died down when she took a good look at Kyoshi's hands. This woman literally could not get any more strange.

“Is something the matter, Lady Akira?" Kyoshi asked.

"Apologies, Avatar Kyoshi. I hope I did not offend you, I was simply caught off guard. You just have the most beautiful hands," Akira said earnestly.

Did Jinpa squeak? Huh.

Well, Kyoshi had to fight the urge to laugh. Man, they are really grasping at straws here. She must have run out of things to stroke Kyoshi's ego about. The Avatar is well aware of the state of her hands. Beauty is not on the list.

"Please, no need to fill my head with empty compliments," Kyoshi insisted.

"I assure you, my compliments are nothing but sincere. You have the most wonderful hands I've ever seen," Akira said seriously.

Huh, weird. It honestly did seem like the noblewoman was telling the truth. Maybe she is. It could very well be that she's borderline insane, but that's not really the topic here.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but my hands are pretty banged up with all the scars. Consequences of those battles, I suppose," Kyoshi awkwardly laughed in order to lighten the mood.

"The way I see it, the scars you adorn are a testament to your bravery and honor. Courageous is the most beautiful thing a person can be," Akira said. Her two noble goons nodded their agreement.

She had to admit, Kyoshi feels moved. It's no wonder Akira is the spokesman of the group. That is a noblewoman who really knows how to sweet talk a girl. She did wonder why Jinpa squeaked again, though.

Okay, Kyoshi needs to think this through. The odd behavior of the three nobles is a mystery Kyoshi has the desperate urge to crack. The compliments, the pleasantries, the agreeability, there has to be a reason why.

Seeing the three Fire Nation nobles stare at her scars with that look in their eyes made the answer hit Kyoshi like a boulder. Finally, the Avatar understood the out of character actions. Those three are absolutely terrified of her.

It all made perfect sense. Scars in general can look pretty scary. Not only does Kyoshi have a rather large amount of them, the implications of what she experienced also must be freaking out the nobles. The scars show that Kyoshi has lived through much more powerful and intimidating foes than the ones who sit before her. It's visual proof that Kyoshi is the strongest person in this room. And they're terrified of that.

It has to be why Akira made such a point to compliment them. She's well aware of the battles Kyoshi fought to gain her scars.

The makeup and gloves were hiding the scars which must be why the nobles haven't seemed scared of her until now. Turns out, Kyoshi just had her approach all wrong. They did not fear scary makeup or a tall stature, they fear scars and Kyoshi's true face.

Their behavior makes complete sense now.

It's probably wrong that Kyoshi is so excited that she finally found a way to scare these people. They have been grating on her nerves for weeks and she finally has the upper hand. The Avatar is in full control now.

Kyoshi is absolutely going to milk this.

"It feels as though we've been stuck in this room for ages. It's getting quite hot in here," Kyoshi lied.

With that, the Avatar rolled up her sleeves where even more scars decorated her arms. Kyoshi was even bold enough to undo her collar a touch to reveal the scar on her neck. She snapped open one of her fans and fluttered it to gently brush against the neck scar.

Her actions had the desired effect. All three nobles immediately began intensely studying Kyoshi's scars, especially the one on her neck. They were red, evidently nervous, and now incapable of looking her in the eye. They finally feel terrified by Kyoshi. This is a memory she will cherish for years to come.

Kyoshi saw Rangi in her peripheral vision sitting with crossed arms and a deep scowl. The Avatar felt as though she was beaming with pride. Of course Rangi caught onto the fact that Kyoshi is working on her intimidation tactic and is playing the role of scary bodyguard to add to it. Rangi is just so smart.

"Avatar Kyoshi! Would you like me to, uh, open up some windows? I had no idea you were feeling so hot," Jinpa nervously rushed out.

"Please do," Kyoshi smiled.

Jinpa nodded and hurriedly opened up a couple windows as Kyoshi put her fan back at her side. She did what she needed to do to strike fear in their hearts.

"I must say, Avatar Kyoshi, you wield your fans as though they're part of you. It's quite impressive. You have very skilled hands," Nao pointed out.

"Well, I'm sure you've heard of the other things my hands can do, haven't you?" Kyoshi asked with narrowed eyes.

If her reputation precedes her, then stories resembling her scuffle with Xu Ping An would have certainly reached the Fire Nation. She would make it very clear that compliments should not distract from how truly terrifying Kyoshi really is.

"I, well yes. Many have heard stories of your, um, abilities," Nao rushed out.

"Many stories indeed," Akira mumbled.

Chari just sat there looking like an imbecile. Kyoshi wasn't really expecting much else from the lump.

"Alright, I'm going to cut to the chase. What is it that you want from me?" Kyoshi asked in a low voice to add to her intimidation.

Obviously, for them to be this scared of her, she must also have some kind of leverage they need. Apparently, Kyoshi would have to wait to find out.

"Avatar Kyoshi, I insist upon a recess at once!" Jinpa practically shrieked while standing up.

Everyone in the room was visibly shocked at the monk's outburst except for Rangi. Kyoshi's never known the man to raise his voice in such a manner, especially not in a meeting like this one. Whatever had Jinpa so panicked must be important.

"Of course. You don't mind a small break, do you?" Kyoshi grinned, knowing damn well they won't say no to her.

"Please, take all the time you need. We'll wait as long as it takes," Akira managed to rush out.

Hah, the annoying noble still looks flustered. Kyoshi could not be happier. They finally fear her. It feels so good to win.

Kyoshi left the room, quickly followed by Rangi and Jinpa. Once the door closed behind them, Rangi grabbed Kyoshi's arm and pulled her to the left.

"Make sure we're not followed, Jinpa," was all Rangi muttered out.

"Y-yes of course," Jinpa hastily agreed.

"Rangi, what's-" Kyoshi started to say.

"One more word and I'm putting you into horse stance for so long your successor will feel it," Rangi hissed.

Okay, so clearly she's not happy. Kyoshi can't imagine why though. That meeting is going spectacularly. The nobles are significantly more cooperative, they actually listen to what Kyoshi has to say, and they're now willing to give into her demands. She can't understand what Rangi could possibly be so upset about.

Maybe Kyoshi didn't notice something during the discussions? Is it possible the Fire Nation nobles are playing her and Rangi is going to let her know? It's certainly not the first time Kyoshi has made a major blunder like that. There really wasn't much time to contemplate this because in less than a minute the two women apparently arrived at their destination.

The spot Rangi led her to was a tiny hallway that had a single window at the end of it but nothing else. There are no doors or chairs, so no one really spends much time in this area of the building. This is a very interesting spot to talk about any potential issues from the meeting.

Kyoshi looked at Rangi and raised an eyebrow, still very unwilling to speak in risk of horse stance punishment. Rangi didn't say anything. No she did not. Instead, she yanked on Kyoshi's collar and crashed their lips together. Before she even had time to blink, Rangi had pinned her against the wall of the tiny hallway.

Is that what Kyoshi was expecting to happen? It most certainly was not. Is Kyoshi mad about it? She most certainly is not.

Kyoshi quickly put one hand on Rangi's shoulder while the other cupped the back of Rangi's neck to deepen the kiss. The bodyguard moved on from kissing her lips to slowly trail her mouth down Kyoshi's neck.

"There's other ways to rile me up, you know," Rangi mumbled into her skin.

That is something that Kyoshi will be noting for later. Especially if this is the result.

The Avatar gasped as Rangi began pressing hot kisses on the scar at the base of her neck. A low moan rumbled from Kyoshi's throat against her will. Fuck, that firebender knew exactly what she was doing. Rangi knows Kyoshi's body like the back of her hand.

Therefore, she knows that kissing Kyoshi's neck scar will automatically turn her on. Kyoshi can feel herself getting wetter by the second. Her cunt began clenching around nothing, practically begging to be stimulated.

That's when she felt Rangi's hand slowly creep down to the very top of her long skirt. Then, her fingertips ever so slightly went beneath the skirt where Kyoshi's underwear resided.

Holy shit. Is Rangi trying to do what Kyoshi thinks she's trying to do? Now? Of all the times?

"Rangi, we have a meeting," Kyoshi gasped.

"Just say the word and I'll stop," Rangi whispered into her ear.

A better Avatar would be able to resist. A better Avatar would be able to tell their girlfriend it's a bad idea to have sex when they're in the middle of an important meeting.

It would appear that Kyoshi is not a better Avatar.

"We need to be quick," Kyoshi hissed.

"Well who am I to defy the Avatar?" Rangi grinned.

With that, Rangi's hands slipped past the waistband and lightly brushed against Kyoshi's clit. The taller woman gasped once more and bit her lip to prevent the sound from coming out.

"Fuck, Kyoshi. I've barely even touched you," Rangi mumbled lowly.

The poor Avatar didn't even have time to respond before one of Rangi's fingers slowly entered her. Kyoshi gasped and clenched tightly around her finger. It's when Rangi started slowly moving her finger that Kyoshi let out a high pitch whine.

Embarrassingly enough, Kyoshi's always been rather vocal during sex. This really is not the time to be vocal.

"You know I love the sounds you make, but unless you want those Fire Nations nobles to see the Avatar getting fucked by her bodyguard, you're gonna need to be quiet for me," Rangi smirked.

The prospect of that scenario playing out is enough for Kyoshi's entire body temperature to increase. It's just not fair how sexy her girlfriend is or how her melodic voice gets Kyoshi all riled up.

The Avatar had gotten so wet that Rangi had no issues slipping a second finger inside of her. Kyoshi buried her face in Rangi's shoulder to muffle her moans. The way her fingers furiously thrusted inside Kyoshi brought her closer and closer to her breaking point.

While Rangi continued to fuck Kyoshi with her fingers, the bodyguard decided to continue her onslaught of kisses on the side of Kyoshi's neck. The sensation made the Avatar so weak in the knees that she's basically leaning on Rangi for support.

Kyoshi knew she wouldn't last much longer. Rangi's fingers were relentless and every spot her lips touched set Kyoshi's skin on fire. Then Rangi's fingers hit that perfect sweet spot that made Kyoshi want to cry out from pure bliss. The firebender's precise fingers hit that same spot over and over again, causing Kyoshi to arch into Rangi, desperate to be as close as possible to her.

Once Rangi's thumb began hastily circling Kyoshi's clit, it was over for her. The Avatar had to physically bite her lip to prevent her moan from coming out as she finally reached her climax. Evidence of Kyoshi's wetness was coated over Rangi's fingers as she slowly pulled them out of her. Rangi made direct eye contact with her as she licked Kyoshi's arousal right from her own fingers. Kyoshi's face burned at the sight.

Kyoshi was too busy reeling from her orgasm to mentally process the fact that Rangi had dropped to her knees. The bodyguard began to slowly lift up Kyoshi's shirt. The Avatar's eyes widened when she realized Rangi was not, in fact, done with her yet.

"Do you think you have one more left in you?" Rangi asked.

"No Rangi, we need to get back to the negotiations where literal nobility is waiting for us!"

Is what Kyoshi WOULD have said if she wasn't such a whore.

"Rangi please," Kyoshi begged in reality.

The Fire Nation woman grinned and threw Kyoshi's right leg over Rangi's shoulder while the other leg stayed planted firmly on the ground. Rangi rolled up Kyoshi's skirt to her waist.

"Be a good girl and hold this for me," Rangi whispered.

It was like Kyoshi's body had a mind of its own with how quickly she fulfilled such a command. Kyoshi used both hands to keep her skirt up as Rangi moved the Avatar's underwear to the side. Now her bodyguard got a full view of Kyoshi's aching cunt.

"Your pussy is just as pretty as you are," Rangi praised.

Kyoshi blushed at such a sincere and lewd compliment. A split second later, Rangi's mouth made contact where Kyoshi needed it most. The Avatar couldn't help but allow a low moan to slip out.

Rangi dragged her tongue along Kyoshi's entrance. Yet again, the Avatar had to bite her lip to stop any noises of pleasure from coming out. The bodyguard decided to focus on giving Kyoshi light kisses onto her clit before starting to suck it.

Kyoshi's pants and muffled moans increased as she was being brought closer to the edge in absolutely no time. The first orgasm already made her incredibly sensitive, she would come to her peak much faster now.

Rangi's tongue began circling faster around Kyoshi's clit in a way that made her vision blur. Kyoshi began helplessly grinding her cunt against Rangi's face to get even more stimulation as fast as possible. It all felt too good. Rangi is just too good.

Once again, the bodyguard has to essentially hold up Kyoshi's entire bodyweight. The way her tongue makes Kyoshi feel is just so intense she can barely think. Thank the spirits for the wall behind her.

Rangi's skilled tongue brings Kyoshi closer and closer to her breaking point. Kyoshi's hands squeezed her skirt as she felt herself approach her release. The bodyguard's hands gripped Kyoshi's thighs as she continued eating her out. Finally, finally, Kyoshi got to experience the sweet release she had been craving. For a second time, that is.

Kyoshi really couldn't stop herself from letting a breathy moan escape her lips. Rangi pulled back with Kyoshi's wetness all over her face. The Avatar blushed as Rangi had to pull out a small handkerchief from her pocket to clean herself from the mess Kyoshi made.

With the same amount of care one would use to handle a delicate vase, Rangi gently moved Kyoshi's leg off her shoulder. Kyoshi pouted, feeling the warmth of her girl leave her, but dropped her skirt once her underwear was readjusted.

Rangi finally stood up and peppered Kyoshi's face with light, playful kisses. The Avatar giggled as her touch began to tickle.

"We really should get back to the negotiations meeting," Rangi sighed while pulling away.

"Wait, what about you?" Kyoshi asked.

Kyoshi does her best to be a good girlfriend. It's only natural she'd want to return the favor.

"Don't worry about me. Knowing you came on my face was more than enough satisfaction. For now, at least," Rangi grinned.

Kyoshi blushed brightly and looked away from her lover's gaze. It always sounds so much more dirty saying it out loud than when they actually do it.

"Rangi?" Kyoshi asked once she felt her blush die down.

Rangi hummed in response. Kyoshi smiled and gave Rangi a quick but intense kiss.

"I love you," Kyoshi smiled.

At once, it was as though every hard exterior Rangi possessed automatically softened. It was a statement they both already knew, but it was always so good to say.

"I love you, too. Let's go, Jinpa's probably having a heart attack as we speak," Rangi said.

Kyoshi nodded and followed her girl back to the meeting room. Jinpa looked at them in pure relief once he saw them again.

"Everything okay you two? What took you guys so long?" Jinpa asked.

"Oh, we're perfectly fine. Just had to tend to the Avatar's needs," Rangi shrugged.

Kyoshis misses her makeup so much. She had to hold her fan in front of her face to hide the red blush spreading all over it. This meeting needs to be over five minutes ago. How is Kyoshi supposed to survive when the love of her life does things like this?

Please, for the love of all that is good in this life and the next, let this damned meeting end quickly.

****************

The rest of the meeting went surprisingly well and without a hitch. All that was left to do was finalize the paperwork tomorrow and they would be out of Kyoshi's hair. Thank the spirits for that.

Now that the day is over, Kyoshi has the opportunity to have even more sex with her girlfriend. Life truly is good.

Once the Fire Nation nobles left the premises, Kysohi turned to her girl and gave her a smile of pure relief. The relief of finally being done with the most grueling task imaginable, talking to other people. Usually, Rangi returned her smile. Instead, the firebender simply pursed her lips and avoided Kyoshi's face.

Is she feeling okay? Rangi seemed distracted, which is very unlike her. Maybe all the recent negotiations have been getting to her?

"We need to talk," was all Rangi said before walking back into their home.

In no universe is the phrase 'we need to talk' a good thing to hear from the woman you're dating. Kyoshi felt like she was walking to the gallows as she followed Rangi back to their shared bedroom. Once they reached said room, Kyoshi sat on the edge of the bed. Rangi did not sit beside her. Instead, she chose to stand right in front of her.

Well now Kyoshi is slightly terrified for their relationship. She simply waited for the bodyguard to speak.

"Look, next time you use such a tactic to get your way in negotiations, at least warn me first. I realize sometimes a more, unconventional approach is necessary, but I was completely blind sided," Rangi frowned

"What are you talking about? That was the most conventional strategy," Kyoshi replied, very confused.

Intimidation tactics in general are very common to use. In fact, Kyoshi would say it's her favorite tactic of all time. How she loves striking fear into people's hearts.

Yikes, it sounded really bad when she put it that way.

"You're kidding me, right? There's absolutely nothing conventional about what happened back there!" Rangi snapped, voice laced with hurt.

Kyoshi has no idea why Rangi is so upset. Could it be Kyoshi had done something to offend her?

"Look, I honestly don't understand why you're so upset. I did what I always do. I scare the life out of them, they give us what we want. Simple math," Kyoshi insisted.

Rangi did not look amused at all.

"Scared them? You're claiming to have scared them? You have to be joking," Rangi scoffed.

"Uh, no. No I'm not," Kyoshi honestly told her.

Rangi stared at her for a moment before her entire expression changed.

"Holy shit, you're not joking," Rangi mumbled.

"Why would I?" Kyoshi asked with a raised eyebrow.

Rangi merely continued to stare at her for a moment. Then, she buried her face in her hands. She let out a strangled, almost choking sound and Kyoshi feared her girl was crying. Then she looked up and found Rangi laughing.

The fuck is so funny?

"I could not be more lost right now," Kyoshi bluntly stated.

Rangi, still laughing her ass off, walked over and sat next to Kyoshi on the bed. Once she was finished with her little giggles, Rangi let out a long, drawn out sigh.

"Spirits, I fell in love with a moron," Rangi said.

"I mean, you're probably not wrong, but why?" Kyoshi exclaimed.

She is just so confused. For once, Kyoshi thought she knew what she was doing!

"I swear, you're denser than the rocks you bend. Kyoshi, those nobles weren't scared of you, they were flirting with you," Rangi told her.

Kyoshi blinked twice. Then immediately rolled her eyes. That's what she thought was going on? Seriously?

"C'mon Rangi, there's no way. I think I would know if I was getting hit on," Kyoshi drawled.

"I had a crush on you for two years before you confessed," Rangi very rudely reminded her.

"That's true, but be realistic Rangi. I'm well aware of what I look like," Kyoshi scoffed.

"Believe me, so am I. What exactly are you trying to say?" Rangi glared.

Boy, her girl is not going to like this one. Along with being the Avatar's bodyguard, it was Rangi's life mission to build Kyoshi's confidence. The Avatar never really excelled in that department.

"No need for the looks, Rangi. It's not like I think I'm some hideous troll or anything. But, well, I'm crazy tall and have a lot of scars. It's not exactly an ideal look. Neither are the freckles, I've come to learn. Besides, it's like you said. I had nice hands before they got all scarred, but now," Kyoshi sighed while trailing off.

Rangi frowned before holding both of Kyoshi's hands in her own. She soothingly rubbed her thumbs against the back of Kyoshi's hands.

"I'm sorry I made you feel as though a part of you was undesirable. That's really not what I was trying to say. I've always found your hands pretty, I just conveyed my feelings poorly. I admit, I have very complicated feelings about your scars," Rangi sighed.

She thinks that deep down, Kyoshi knew that already. Unfortunately, her self esteem has never really been sky high. Hearing Rangi say those words out loud was a bigger comfort than Kyoshi thought it would be.

"Oh? Like what?" Kyoshi asked curiously.

"On one hand, I hate that you had to experience so much pain. They're reminders that I wasn't able to protect you. You never deserved such horrible treatment. But on the other hand," Rangi said. "Spirits, Kyoshi, your scars are so attractive. The way they decorate your skin makes you look like a damn masterpiece. It's like lightning running across your body. I've never seen anyone so beautiful."

Rangi was staring at Kyoshi with so much love that it actually stole the air from her lungs. Immediately, the Avatar's cheeks were burning so badly they had to resemble the deep red of a fire lily.

"So you think I'm attractive," Kyoshi mumbled with a dopey grin.

Rangi gave her a look and lightly kicked her leg. Kyoshi let out a small giggle at her girlfriend's action.

"Of course I think you're attractive, you big oaf. We are in a romantic relationship," Rangi snorted.

Kyoshi giggled and pressed a small kiss atop Rangi's forehread. Her girl blushed a bit before leaning her head on Kyoshi's shoulder.

"You know, in the Fire Nation, scars really are considered to be a very beautiful addition to the human body. I hate to agree with that stupid Akiko or whatever, but your scars are so pretty. They're like little trophies of battles you survived. Let me tell you, they'd have gone ballistic if they knew about your stretch marks. They're a sign of growth and health back. Just another part of you so attractive it drives me insane," Rangi told her.

Kyoshi blushed once more at the mention of said marks. Her stretch marks mainly littered around her breasts and thighs. Now that Kyoshi thinks about it, Rangi's always given them special attention.

"Also, fuck Yokoya beauty standards. I adore your freckles. The jackass nobles certainly did too," Rangi huffed.

Kyoshi giggled and kissed her girl's nose. Then, realization dawned on her.

"Oh spirits, does that mean me showing off my scars," Kyoshi trailed off.

"Yeah, you were basically seducing them. It was very effective," Rangi confirmed.

"That's so humiliating! Now everything I threatened just sounds sexual!" Kyoshi groaned while flopping on the bed.

Rangi laughed and laid down next to her. Kyoshi adjusted herself so that they were eye level. Spirits, Rangi has the prettiest eyes.

"That may or may not be why I dragged you out of the meeting. I get that people flirt with you, I do. But it just seemed like you were flirting back this time," Rangi admitted quietly.

Kyoshi frowned at the realization that it definitely seemed like she was flirting. She cringed remembering the comment about what her hands had done. That really sounds sexual and Kyoshi absolutely hates it.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to," Kyoshi honestly told her.

"Now I know you didn't. I'm not upset since you were unaware. I guess I just got too jealous. I wasn't too much during that meeting, was I? I hope I didn't pressure you into anything," Rangi worriedly stated.

It shouldn't be possible to be this in love with someone, yet here Kyoshi is. The amount of love she has for Rangi is far too much to be contained in this world.

"Of course I wanted everything you gave me. I'll sleep good tonight knowing that my stoic, calm, and collected bodyguard fucked me in the middle of a negotiations meeting because she was jealous," Kyoshi teased.

Rangi groaned and playfully shoved Kyoshi's shoulder. The Avatar merely laughed and scooted closer to her.

"You're not the only one who gets jealous, you know. I swear countless people have tried hitting on you. I never feel too upset about it because you shut them down so quickly it baffles them," Kyoshi smiled.

Rangi merely kissed Kyoshi on the lips in response. Kyoshi was more than happy to feel her love's lips on her once more.

"I still can't believe you didn't notice, they were being so obvious about it. I really shouldn't be surprised. Not like this is the first time you were flirted with and were completely oblivious," Rangi sighed.

"What? What other times are there?" Kyoshi frowned.

"My point exactly. Nothing to worry your pretty little head about," Rangi teased as she kissed her cheek.

Kyoshi just smiled and observed Rangi's face for a moment. Truly, has there ever been a more beautiful woman? Kyoshi doubts it.

The Avatar was going to change the subject and suggest the two get a quick nap in, but stopped herself. There's just one detail that still doesn't make sense about today.

"Oh, quick question. Do you know what was up with Jinpa during the meeting? I've never seen him so antsy," Kyoshi asked.

Rangi's face turned bright red and she avoided Kyoshi's gaze. It took her a couple moments, but Rangi finally gave her an answer.

"That was unfortunately my fault. I'm not as calm and collected as I look. Seeing someone flirt with my girlfriend kind of makes me seethe with rage. When they started hitting on you, I thought I was gripping the chair but I was really digging into Jinpa's arm. He told me it was fine so pretty much every time you were hit on, I squeezed his arm. I'm pretty sure I ended up burning it at some point. So, uh, please remind me to apologize to him tomorrow," Rangi sheepishly told her.

Wow.

"Between the two of us, that poor bastard needs the biggest raise in all Four Nations."

"Agreed."

[fairycosmos]

I just read your post about your lack of identity and I feel so very similar. I've always been shy and quiet and weird even as a kid but nowadays (I'm 23) I have extreme social anxiety and one tip I always hear is to "just be yourself" and to not be ashamed if you say/do something embarassing etc etc. And the thing is...I dont know how to be myself. I spent the last 5 years basically only interacting with my immediate family because i lost all my friends due to my mental illness and my being unable to be a normal young person. And in this time of (relative) isolation all these things that humans naturally do in interactions or just everyday life have become very hard and artificial-feeling for me. Like everything i do i am aware of and i think it through, even the dumbest stuff like scratching my fucking nose. Now when I'm around other people I lose all sense of who I am and what I want to do and say. I'm not even scared to embarass myself anymore, I just turn into a completely empty shell around others because it feels like all of myself is gone then, so it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to "be myself". What would myself do now? Smile? Say something? Move around in my seat? I literally dont know. Who am I even? And then I HAVE TO put on some kind of facade and try to act normal because otherwise i would literally sit there, staring blankly into space with no expression, not saying a word. It is so fucking hard. Sorry for telling you this, I hope you have a nice day if you ever read this <3

i completely understand what you mean, im in the same boat and honestly you articulated this so well.....ive nicknamed it social or mental atrophy and it's incredibly painful and disorienting to deal with......what's worse is you'd think the simple solution is to just force yourself to be around people more but it's not that simple at all and it just sucks so fucking bad. especially the older you get. im 23 too and i just feel like i never got to develop a mind or personality of my own around others. to this day im just on autopilot with nothing to offer and my natural state is just silence and not talking or expressing anything. people are obviously not very drawn to that and it's just a really lonely way to be but i quite literally don't know how to be anything else. i go through that too - just questioning what am i supposed to do in this moment? what would "i" do or say? i just don't know and ive tried really hard to push myself into social situations for years and it still hasn't changed anything. yeah, i completely get what you mean - it's really hard and im sorry you have to deal with it as well. i truly hope you find people who appreciate you the way you deserve to be appreciated. i hope you're able to discover yourself bit by bit and that you feel comfortable enough to express that someday. i hope you have a nice day too and if you ever need a friend or anything feel free to shoot me a message ❤️

[daily-pat]

Statement below. Please read it. I know people tend to ignore it, but I promise you, I am speaking to you all, and to beyond what we are, and where.

I will be fully honest, I did not want to post today. Coupled with a rough day and the statements Matt H. made over fanart, I honestly felt discouraged to even pick up the pen and open Photoshop. As someone who's main focus in my personal art is about fanart, and about this blog, I felt a kind of burdened disrespect towards that tweet. Silly, I know, but unfortunately in this day and age, I have felt a need to defend art against the jaws of capitalism as someone entering the professional industry. Nowadays, it seems as if you either let adversary consume you or you push vehemently against it. I know I am not alone in these feelings. Art has always been a counterculture to what modernism expects out of all of us. Instead of moving towards progress, art is inherently now developed to capture the present. Some good philosophy for ya. To the notion that fanart has ruined this fandom's perception of the character, I say screw that statement. Fandom culture has always been a part of modern entertainment. It serves as a way to connect, to expand ideas on canon, tinker and explore with what can be done with a universe, not just taken from it. But more importantly, it keeps fandoms alive. Do you think we would not be here if it were not for the floods of fanart that persisted after The End? The art that captured the livelihood at the time, the expansion of this world that people desperately hoped for. For four years. Would there still be fans without fanart? No one can say for sure, but I believe there would at least be less of us. We kept up hype and supported the show until it could return, only to be spat on by someone who seems hellbent on snuffing out the passionate spark of the fandom. We are not blameless. We are flawed, we are looked down upon. Every person I have mentioned Eddsworld to has looked at me with at least confusion or at most shock. And fanart, too, has not always been perfect. But to scorn it and to scorn headcanons? What do fans mean to you? People who create a community with you and each other? Or people who line your pocket? Fanart is not just an aspect of this fandom, it is one of its major pillars. So to this I say, I will remove myself from canon however much I like. I will take my fanart and make it into art. You can not separate my fanart from my fine arts training. So pardon me when I will never look how you expect. How I make representation where it isn't. Where I find themes darker than canon. To my intended audience, one who will never read this statement, for it not be one posted to twitter or to reddit where I have seen him fight constructive or lighthearted criticism, I will forever and always be, like the rest of the fandom, making more fanart than actual art. To my audience here, make the art you want. Do not deny yourself happiness simply because the world creates rules upon what you should or shouldn't make. To creative freedom.

- Orfisheus

[pearl-likes-pi]

i honestly dont know hoe to say this, but you really had a hand in shaping my brai chemistry while i was growing up, no kidding. i remember when i was 13 or so and whenever you posted a pearl rap career chapter it would unironicaly make my day (specially when you dropped the peridot chapter i had a stomach infection or smth, so that video and the last one out of beach city episode were on replay for me for a few days). its really weird seeing that rebecca managed to make a safe space for lgbt folks (it was really hard for me to accept myself as gay, it seems really simple nowadays but back then it was so discomforting to even thinm about it so su and its fandom, and by some extent, your vids, helped me externalize some feelings or queernes i guess, do you remeber when someone said your video editing was raw and masculine? lol). anyways, its wild to think i was in 5th grade when i first watched laser light canon and now im finishing my journalism course in college and seeing how this show raised me in some way and helped me to be aware of my own mental health i only have good memories, thankfully, and its really sad to see that it ended, but i honestly wouldnt have had it any other way. its kind of a long rant but id like to thank you, mackenzie, your videos made me laugh a lot when i was a teen and they still make me now. this show was truly a gift, it made us connect to something bigger and magical. this was kind of a long rant since ive kinda forgotten that su existed and remined that it existed because of some dreams lol. i remembered back then when i was super anxious about the cluster episode, i remeber checking your tumblr everyday and seeing fanon content. i really dont know how to express myself since english is not my first language and i tend to ramble on a lot on my native one, but id like to say youve made me smile a lot, it was so cool seeing you present the su podcast and being an intern at CN. i honestly wish you the best.

Dude it means so much to hear that my lil shitposts have had an impact on people!!!! I completely understand where youre coming from re: SU's impact on your life (and acceptance of queer identity) and feel the same way!!! im so grateful for this show and everything it represents. in a world without Steven Universe my current life would be completely unrecognizable. like genuinely I dont think any single aspect of my life would be the way it is without SU. which is nuts but it's true!!!

I love engaging with this community and it gave me a lot of support when I was at a place in my life where I felt pretty isolated. I'm kind of rambling now too but this seriously has been sitting in my inbox for a bit now and I just knew i needed to respond and say thank you for sharing. <3

ALSO LMAO I FORGOT ABT THE RAW AND MASCULINE COMMENT THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME HAHA

[fumifooms]

Dandan x Asivia

Dubbed dansivia. Confused as to who either of these are? Here’s a Dandan comp and Asivia wise this post is close enough for now

There is a brave visionary on ao3 and they’re so right

Ok first of all let’s address the theory:

Dandan is indeed the only Laios party member not pictured here (besides Chilchuck himself but we saw he didn’t like her which would contradict this anyways). I keep wanting to add "that we know of" or some other caveat but honestly not even no, it’s never implied or mentioned they had yet another party member and that makes sense since we saw the party’s inception right up to its current party composition.

… So… Mystery solved right out of the gate? I dunno, it feels weird to me to claim Dandan hates Laios, but if he kept it under wraps enough or reasoned with himself about it I could see it. Laios and Dandan were coworkers from their gold peeling days, and so when Laios left to try a career in dungeon diving Dandan joined him.

They seem very standard coworkers that get along well enough to me, far from skulls emoji energy, but yeah there is a case to be made on both overt strong dislike and repressed strong dislike ends. But maybe the true beef started after he left the party even, especially if he fancies Asivia and kept up with the party’s drama that went down with her, though the chart does imply it was the work dynamic while he was still in the party because of context. But, believing that Dandan likes her and Asivia considered getting with him like the other men of the party, Asivia would have literally sidelined Dandan to pursue Laios. And Laios doesn’t even realize her attempts at seduction? Ok yeah the hate is plausible nvm. Also we can keep in mind that this is Chilchuck’s chart and he could have more insight on Dandan’s feelings than the average coworker since he’s his friend. It def fleshes him more out with implications. He’s professional he keeps unnecessary shit to himself. It’d be weird to me if the relationship chart was made without Kui thinking it through, or retconning it, it is the canon we get so it’s interesting to ponder. Kui giving us secret romantic drama for free <3

Speaking of what’s not free. Ok maybe Dan does dislike Laios, do business introductions really cost money… I mean I respect the hustle but. So Dandan is heavily implied to be the one to introduce Asivia to the party. The only other mage was Marcille and well we know how that went. "A real cutie". Yeah. I bet. 👀

This is the most interesting dansivia part to me, they did meet previously to the party, both doing what they do best, networking. Dan helped Asivia find a job, how did they meet and how did that go? What if she had an infamous reputation already, how much did they get acquainted… There’s a lot of leeway for fun here

Gorgeous hustling but lazy manipulator that seeks a fortunate husband x slight womanizer hustling & hardworking poor guy that’s been around in business for too long to be played… Both work a lot but like to take it easy when they can. Tavern flirtations and having met while networking and "I can hook you with a job" (staring and smiling too much) and "Oh Dandan, you’re so capable and knowledgeable about the Island, could you help me out~"

Manipulator hustler seductress x laidback hustler flirt… Social butterflies, streets smarts in different yet similar ways… Observant x observant………. She’s very harsh and drops people/her damsel act at the first second she can’t get something out of it anymore and I think he’d be so into that. Dandan liking strongminded women. Women who kinda play dirty. Makes him respect them and want to pursue them help…

And like, takes on Asivia differ nowadays but I do need her to mean this shit for this, this is what she's unabashedly about. She is just a woman trying to make it in this world but working people’s the name of her game. Whatever reason you give her, she was taking advantage of Laios and trying to get a marriage with any decent profitable guy she could. She knows what she’s doing and she doesn’t look the least bit remorseful. A girl who knows what she wants and chases it, rawr ⬅️ Dandan voice

They both fall for each other but neither can admit it because they know it’s just temporary, she’ll go look for a well-off tallman husband eventually. Messy situationship go. Can they even have a good ending together. It’s all only ever nice in the present moments… She’ll leave he can’t offer her anything but himself and a very humble lifestyle, she’ll leave she can’t settle for that she won’t, he knows that and it’s part of why he liked her in the first place. Oughhhhh

Ohhh to be underdogs, settling for a humble life & being content with that vs unapologetically ambitious and chases that life and comfort she seeks, which in turn makes him admire her…….. But even if she inspires him to chase what he wants, she can’t give it to him…………..

Putting this on blast bc they’re great thoughts

Because I’m me I’m trying to make them reach a happy long term ending together and it’s not working… Which is more fun tbh. I shall ponder this puzzle…

Casanova Dandan is so important to me now. Chilchuck’s in a separation slump & faithfulness oath to the wind but Dandan, good friend dandan? He’s living he’s thriving he’s pulling

I want fics of them meeting & networking. He’s very up to the news in the dungeon goer community… All I’m saying is I can see Dandan bartering for a shot with her in exhange for information or helping her out find jobs, knowing she’s after guys to marry too 🤭 I think they should flirt in a tavern. I think they should make eyes at each other over glasses and exchanging business convos and leaving it all in the implied and unspoken

Dansivia is getting too real to me

The fics are fun go read ‘em

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

This is kind of a follow-up to this post about the Targtower brothers dynamic. I just love them. What`s not to love, honestly:

In that post I used the word 'lust' to describe a certain aspect of Aegon`s feelings towards his brother - but upon consideration I believe the word 'desire' to be more suitable. But what are the roots of these feelings and how do they and the form in which they are expressed change with time?

First things first:

1. Long post;

2. Nothing is this post is intended to promote or encourage sexual relations involving minors;

2. I enjoy both platonic (canon version) and romantic/sexual (fanon territory) interpretations of Aegon&Aemond relationship - without belittling any other pairing (canon or not) involving either of them. In fact I quite enjoy some of those other pairings as well.

So, the sensual side of the Green brothers` relationship is not the focal point of the show (or even of their relationship in general) by any means. And it`s not a simple 'I just want to bend you over the nearest piece of furniture and give it to you' thing from Aegon`s part either. It`s deliciously subtle and quite complex even from the beginning of their interactions we see - and it gets even more complicated as they transition into their adulthood.

Teen Aegon is a flirt in general. But when it comes to his brother the flirting intensifies - and begins to resemble 'pulling pigtails'. It`s in the spirit of mockery but one heavily tinged with fondness - and other feelings, deeper and heavier.

It`s the way Aegon's focused on Aemond - to the point that it feels like they are alone, even with other people in close vicinity. This focus doesn`t dissolve even when Aegon looks elsewhere.

It`s in the way Aegon touches Aemond: seemingly carelessly - but there is a kind of hesitance, almost shyness, about his touch. Huge props to Ty for his acting: the not-exactly-platonic undertones are there, yet the vibe doesn`t feel gross in the slightest (the way it might have felt if acted out with less finesse, given the fact that Aemond is a minor after all, and so is Leo) - if anything it`s endearing. And I believe it feels this way because the roots of Aegon`s feelings are not sexual after all.

To Aegon, Aemond is a mystery: he`s his likeness yet his antipode, he`s so close yet so far. He can`t get a full grasp of him however much he tries. Aemond is like some rarity, a mystical object created by the Warlocks of Qarth, the one he wants to dismantle and see how it works but doesn`t dare to do it since he might not be able to put it back together. But first and foremost Aemond is Aegon`s brother - his blood, his companion; the one he wants to feel close to, the one he wants to be like him and tries to achieve it in any way he can - hence the trip to the brothel. It certainly wasn`t a nice thing to do, and Aegon`s train of thought there might have taken various directions at once, but ultimately I don`t think it was about corruption or causing Aemond discomfort but about unity, companionship, feeling close, alike and one - the things Aegon chased after and was deprived of.

A crack-ish side note: Aegon telling Aemond he fancies creatures with 'veeery long legs' with this playfully lecherous grin on his face -

-has never not been funny to me since the moment I realized that adult Aemond, courtesy of Ewan Mitchell`s gorgeous physique, might just have the longest legs among all the characters (or at least he`s damn close to the top).

As the brothers grow up so do Aegon`s feelings.

Both curiosity about the intricacies of their similarities and differences and deep desire for true company and understanding are still very much there. But now there is also so much more. Guilt and shame over not being by Aemond`s side when he needed it most - and seeing a reminder of this on his brother`s face every damn day. Protectiveness that seems misplaced nowadays, but that`s not always the case: Aemond will need Aegon`s support after what happened at Storm`s End - if only he allows himself to accept it. Admiration and envy - about how strong and brilliant his little brother has become, how right he`s turned out to be in contrast with Aegon`s perceived wrongness. And it all comes to a head during the chase and fight scene in episode 9.

A lot of people mentioned that they expected the Targtower brothers to kiss when Aegon pleaded with Aemond to let him go. Well, that`s entirely understandable given that we have this shot:

TGC`s eyes did not just slip there, after all: such things are not done at random, it was a conscious acting choice. And I`m pretty sure Aegon would have indeed kissed his brother if not for Criston intervening and breaking the spell of the moment. Because while under this spell Aegon saw Aemond for everything that he`d ever been to him: his playmate and his toy, his judge and his closest human friend, his solace and his torment - and, perhaps the most important thing right then, his freedom. For years Aemond truly was the personification of the fate Aegon wanted to have - being the second son, free of the burden of the future rule, of excessive expectations, of torturous scrutiny. But also in that moment Aemond literally became Aegon`s freedom, or his best chance at getting it. And so, Aegon was ready to kiss his little brother goodbye - and at the same time kiss his freedom in greeting. But, alas -

-in a few seconds freedom slipped away, and Aegon let go of it - let go of his brother, never tearing his eyes away until the very last moment.

Just look at his face, it`s all there (Tom, you are a genius).

Also, at the risk of sounding like a broken record: Tom and Ewan`s chemistry is everything. In a notably short amount of screen time they shared they have managed to give life to an astoundingly authentic, layered and compelling sibling bond that outshines pretty much every other (not that there is a competition going on but still).

To try and sum all of it up, it`s not that Aegon wants to fuck Aemond - it`s that he wants Aemond, period. And that want, need, desire can take many forms and include many things. Their relationship is complicated, dramatic and wholesome with a side of fucked up - but absolutely beautiful. And I, for one, love it to pieces.

@the-girl-in-the-box here you are!:)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for not helping my brother unlearn some hate?

I (16F) and my brother (9M, let's call him K) are both from a third world country with some less-than-friendly general views, most of which my parents agree with. I couldn't care less if my mom is vividly disgusted at Chinese/Korean products/music or if she wholeheartedly believes that having crushes on your female friends is "normal" and "not homosexuality", because she's a really kind and sweet person and I just love her, you know? She never voices these thoughts around people who are that way and even has Chinese friends herself, but once I ask her "what do you think your friends would feel if they knew you said things like that sometimes?" to which her response was basically "it's not like I'll ever say it to their face, that's rude, and I don't think they're any less humans than us, their country taking over the industrial world and music is just disgusting". Or she immediately demands the channel be changed if the tv is showing an LGBT couple (this is illegal in our country, we connect to foreign satellites which don't censor this).

Anyway. Sorry for the ramble. This leads me to two problems:

My brother is kinda short and skinny due to genetics. And when I say "kinda", I mean like, he's really, really small and tiny for his age and often gets mistaken for a preschooler or first grader. My mother worries over the fact that the boys at his school (since we're all being raised in the same toxic society, huzzah) bully him for being smaller than them. And K has a tendency to easily cry at insults, furthering this issue. I've talked to him several times on how he'll get a growth spurt and it's fine, but my mom's talks mainly consist of how he's a grown boy now and it's not nice for boys his age to cry in public like that. She also doesn't really like me getting "involved" in K's bullying issues. Please, PLEASE don't send any hate to my mom, okay guys? She's one of the best people I know.

The other issue here is that K technically IS growing up, but he's also learning some of the really uncomfortable aspects of this society by repeating things like "the referee for this soccer game probably let the other team win because he's Chinese" (to which I had to correct him and say the referee was actually Filipino, but never mind) or asking me with GENUINE curiosity if I, as a girl, play soccer at my school (he loves soccer so so much, I try to encourage this love for him).

I correct him on this stuff as much as I can, but honestly... sometimes I just don't. Sure, I think it's bad and all, but I (probably, I don't remember much) grew up being the same way considering the way our society is. And if I turned out nice enough, I'm sure he just needs to be the right age for some more technical guidance and all I can do here is randomly tell him he's wrong when he says this stuff. My mom just... she thinks it's a huge stretch to "call everything racism nowadays", which I think REALLY depends on the context! My brother says this stuff very, very rarely, but I don't think he really... gets /why/ it's bad, you know? Again, I'm mostly planning on giving him advice on occasion and letting him figure it out by himself, but I don't want him saying racist/antisemitic/sexist jokes by accident in public, less so because it might humiliate the family and more so because it might actually upset someone.

Again, WIBTA? Don't call my mom the asshole here, please. She's super extremely polite to everyone, calls for action against our dictatorship of a government, and gives medical care to her less financially stable patients for free (she's a doctor). She just has some little views here and there that are the result of her upbringing, same as ours are the result of what we experienced. I can wholeheartedly forgive her for that.