#For once i was converted i did not think this ship up myself!!!!!! I am innocent!!

[fumifooms]

Dandan x Asivia

Dubbed dansivia. Confused as to who either of these are? Here’s a Dandan comp and Asivia wise this post is close enough for now

There is a brave visionary on ao3 and they’re so right

Ok first of all let’s address the theory:

Dandan is indeed the only Laios party member not pictured here (besides Chilchuck himself but we saw he didn’t like her which would contradict this anyways). I keep wanting to add "that we know of" or some other caveat but honestly not even no, it’s never implied or mentioned they had yet another party member and that makes sense since we saw the party’s inception right up to its current party composition.

… So… Mystery solved right out of the gate? I dunno, it feels weird to me to claim Dandan hates Laios, but if he kept it under wraps enough or reasoned with himself about it I could see it. Laios and Dandan were coworkers from their gold peeling days, and so when Laios left to try a career in dungeon diving Dandan joined him.

They seem very standard coworkers that get along well enough to me, far from skulls emoji energy, but yeah there is a case to be made on both overt strong dislike and repressed strong dislike ends. But maybe the true beef started after he left the party even, especially if he fancies Asivia and kept up with the party’s drama that went down with her, though the chart does imply it was the work dynamic while he was still in the party because of context. But, believing that Dandan likes her and Asivia considered getting with him like the other men of the party, Asivia would have literally sidelined Dandan to pursue Laios. And Laios doesn’t even realize her attempts at seduction? Ok yeah the hate is plausible nvm. Also we can keep in mind that this is Chilchuck’s chart and he could have more insight on Dandan’s feelings than the average coworker since he’s his friend. It def fleshes him more out with implications. He’s professional he keeps unnecessary shit to himself. It’d be weird to me if the relationship chart was made without Kui thinking it through, or retconning it, it is the canon we get so it’s interesting to ponder. Kui giving us secret romantic drama for free <3

Speaking of what’s not free. Ok maybe Dan does dislike Laios, do business introductions really cost money… I mean I respect the hustle but. So Dandan is heavily implied to be the one to introduce Asivia to the party. The only other mage was Marcille and well we know how that went. "A real cutie". Yeah. I bet. 👀

This is the most interesting dansivia part to me, they did meet previously to the party, both doing what they do best, networking. Dan helped Asivia find a job, how did they meet and how did that go? What if she had an infamous reputation already, how much did they get acquainted… There’s a lot of leeway for fun here

Gorgeous hustling but lazy manipulator that seeks a fortunate husband x slight womanizer hustling & hardworking poor guy that’s been around in business for too long to be played… Both work a lot but like to take it easy when they can. Tavern flirtations and having met while networking and "I can hook you with a job" (staring and smiling too much) and "Oh Dandan, you’re so capable and knowledgeable about the Island, could you help me out~"

Manipulator hustler seductress x laidback hustler flirt… Social butterflies, streets smarts in different yet similar ways… Observant x observant………. She’s very harsh and drops people/her damsel act at the first second she can’t get something out of it anymore and I think he’d be so into that. Dandan liking strongminded women. Women who kinda play dirty. Makes him respect them and want to pursue them help…

And like, takes on Asivia differ nowadays but I do need her to mean this shit for this, this is what she's unabashedly about. She is just a woman trying to make it in this world but working people’s the name of her game. Whatever reason you give her, she was taking advantage of Laios and trying to get a marriage with any decent profitable guy she could. She knows what she’s doing and she doesn’t look the least bit remorseful. A girl who knows what she wants and chases it, rawr ⬅️ Dandan voice

They both fall for each other but neither can admit it because they know it’s just temporary, she’ll go look for a well-off tallman husband eventually. Messy situationship go. Can they even have a good ending together. It’s all only ever nice in the present moments… She’ll leave he can’t offer her anything but himself and a very humble lifestyle, she’ll leave she can’t settle for that she won’t, he knows that and it’s part of why he liked her in the first place. Oughhhhh

Ohhh to be underdogs, settling for a humble life & being content with that vs unapologetically ambitious and chases that life and comfort she seeks, which in turn makes him admire her…….. But even if she inspires him to chase what he wants, she can’t give it to him…………..

Putting this on blast bc they’re great thoughts

Because I’m me I’m trying to make them reach a happy long term ending together and it’s not working… Which is more fun tbh. I shall ponder this puzzle…

Casanova Dandan is so important to me now. Chilchuck’s in a separation slump & faithfulness oath to the wind but Dandan, good friend dandan? He’s living he’s thriving he’s pulling

I want fics of them meeting & networking. He’s very up to the news in the dungeon goer community… All I’m saying is I can see Dandan bartering for a shot with her in exhange for information or helping her out find jobs, knowing she’s after guys to marry too 🤭 I think they should flirt in a tavern. I think they should make eyes at each other over glasses and exchanging business convos and leaving it all in the implied and unspoken

Dansivia is getting too real to me

The fics are fun go read ‘em

[pandalorian36]

Izzy Hands x reader

You and Izzy come up with a pact. The two are equally matched and decide on a system when they spar. Whoever wins gets to ask a question which the loser must answer. Which after a while turns into a getting to know you.

Word count: 2740

Warnings: violence. mentions of blood and death but nothing explicit.

I stretch out my limbs before drawing my sword slowly moving through a bunch of exercises my uncle taught me. Gradually gaining speed and momentum falling into a familiar routine and loosing myself in the movement. The moonlight glints of my blade as I move a soft breeze rustling the loose strands of my hair. I swivel once more thrusting forward jumping backwords when I find Izzy stood their arms crossed “Fucking hell, give me a heart attack.”

Standing straight I lower my sword to my side. “You’re up late.” I sigh shrugging “Forgive me for wishing to practice.” His lips twitch slightly before settling back into his usual stony expression “Not bad for someone on this ship.” I roll my eyes slightly “Is that a compliment or an insult? I never can tell with you.”

Spinning my sword twice I lower it to my side “It was a compliment.” I look at him shocked, he rolls his eyes “You are skilled with the blade.” I grin crossing my arms “I’m sensing a but?” he shrugs slightly, and I chuckle “You think you’re better than everyone don’t you?”

“I don’t think. I know. Where did you learn?” I sigh “My uncle. What about you?”

“Navy and practice.”

“Navy!?” he chuckles “You’re going to have to tell me more about your backstory if you want mine.” I grin “Alright. We fight, winner gets to ask a question which the loser much answer.” He ponders this a moment before nodding and drawing his sword “Suppose I could do with the practice.” We circle around for a minute before I make the first move lunging forward which he blocks easily. I know he is a skilled swordsman having seen him on raids, but my uncle was a dedicated teacher and I loved every second of learning how to use a blade.

A small smile appears on Izzy’s face as we both fall into a lethal dance moving fluidly around the deck blades clashing. We are evenly matched with slightly different styles; I am the first to make a mistake his blade stopping a hairs width from my throat “How long have you been a pirate?” I grin “Eight years.” We pull apart taking a moment before starting again, I am slowly learning his moves memorising the way he holds his weight, the side he favours.

Finally, I get past his defences trapping his sword at his side with mine to his chest “How long where you in the navy?” “I joined at 12 left at 21 been a pirate ever since.”

We both lower our blades and I bow my head slightly grinning “Good night, Izzy.” I leave him on the deck and make my way to my small cabin, it was an unused storage room that I converted into a bedroom. It is just big enough for a bed and small chest the bed also lifts up which is where I store my very limited wardrobe.

Every evening for the next two weeks we meet on the deck and spar it’s getting harder to beat each other as we learn each other’s style and strengths. As well as slowly sharing parts of our history and personal lives. I learn his favourite colour is blue, the ring around his scarf originally belonged to his mother who passed away, he has served under Blackbeard pretty much since he left the navy, he can sing but does so very rarely and the swallow on his neck was the first tattoo he got like many sailors after sailing 5,000 nautical miles. I have a similar one on my ankle.

Although we continue with our sparring sessions both enjoying them immensely no one else on the crew offering as much as a challenge, we also start just sitting and talking about our days or members of the crew recounting stories of our past adventures and raids. Slowly his hard exterior starts to crack I find myself looking forward to our evenings together, I cherish the times I get him to smile and the rare occasions he actually laughs. He’s handsome and some evenings after he has washed, he leaves his hair loose fluffy around his ears all I want to do is run my fingers through it, but I refrain. Though over the weeks I find we sit closer to each other commonly knocking arms or legs. We now also have a new system of a question for a question.

Several weeks later I am helping Lucius and Fang with fixing one of the sails that was damaged in the last storm or rather I do most of the work up in the rigging while they help by staying out the way and handing me rope. Bracing myself on one of the beams I flip myself over and hang upside down so I can reach the final pieces knotting them into place “What the fuck are you doing?” I grin and cross my arms mirroring Izzy’s stance as best to my ability with my feet hooked around a wooden beam “Pretending I’m a fruit bat.”

I can hear the others sniggering as I chuckle a tiny hint of a smile appearing on his face “I’m fixing the sail.” He rolls his eyes and takes a step back walking away without a word, I pull myself up before unhooking my feet and dropping to the ground glancing over at Izzy who is glaring in my direction. I can never work that man out.

Lucius chuckles leaning back against the railing “Thought Iz was going to blow a fuse.” I shrug and stretch out my arms Buttons wandering over wide eyed “Is that ya bird?” I follow his line of sight a familiar peregrine falcon coming into view. “Astra.” She caws circling around the boat before landing on the railing next to Lucius who quickly moves out the way “I hate birds.” I roll my eyes stroking her feathers removing the small scroll tied around her leg “How you manage to find me every time without fail is still a mystery to me.”

Buttons grins broadly “Ay magnificent creatures.” Izzy wanders over Lucius making himself scarce “Who’s that?” I roll my eyes at the grumpy pirate “Astra, she is delivering a message from my brother, Bay.” I grin “Now you owe me an answer.” He rolls his eyes, but I decide on my question “How many tattoos do you have?”

“Seven.”

Smiling I make my way to the bow of the ship Astra hopping along next to me, I lean over the railing unravelling the letter. My brothers writing is cramped onto the page a mixture of languages, his thinking being no one would be bothered to translate it if it got intercepted.

I hope this letter finds you well, Astra brought news of your recent adventures. Your new crew certainly does sound colourful. Mother sends her love as does Lu she keeps pestering me for updates I wish I could tell her you were coming home. We are doing well. I am helping Uncle with his practice and mother is loving being a seamstress. If I ever meet this Bonnet, I will thank him warmly for his kindness and his financing. You certainly mention this Izzy a lot, should I be worried?. We miss you greatly, don’t worry we are safe from HIM and last we heard he was drinking himself into a stupor perhaps you will be able to return to us soon. I sure hope so I have so much I want to tell you, but Astra can only carry so much, and Lu has taken the reverse for herself.

I love you. Mama wishes you were here, and Lu is almost as tall as her.

Bay

I smile at the letter gods I miss my family. My brother and I were inseparable growing up and both fiercely protective of our baby sister. I always felt responsible for them both being the eldest and everyone knew not to mess with them though our father may have been the may cause of that. Every penny I get paid goes to them, every time we go to shore, I send it to a trusted friend who forwards it to my brother. It was a system we decided safe and secure. I sigh stroking Astras head gently and flip the page over smiling at the writing so much tidier than my brothers.

Y/N, I miss you. It’s not fair that you have to be away Mama says you are taking care of us, and Uncle says you’re very brave. I just want you to come home, I love Bay, but you are so much better at listening. Cici and I are home for summer all our friends are very impressed that my big sibling is a pirate. We have some very important questions that need answering. Do pirates really have parrots? Does your ship have a plank? Does it get used? Please come see us soon, Lucy (and Cici) xxx

I chuckle at my sisters’ questions and tuck the letter safely into my chest pocket leaning out over the railing. Cici is our cousin, both of them attending a finishing school in their final year. Our aunty and uncle where gracious enough to take my family in after the incident keeping them safe but I still help with finances the school itself is by no means cheap.

 “I will write you a reply for tomorrow. Rest.” She takes off landing on the crow’s nest while I fiddle with the ring tucked under my shirt “Good news from your family I hope?” I practically jump out my skin when Stede appears at my side “Yes, thank you.” Stede despite his quirks has been my favourite Captain out of the four I’ve served under and although his inexperience is trying at times, he is learning Ed’s years of pirating certainly helping.

“I’m sorry you cannot be with them.” I smile slightly “Thank you.” he nods “If there is anything I can do?” I shake my head “There is nothing but thank you.” he walks away someone else replacing him Izzy hovers by my elbow bouncing on his feet slightly “You never speak of your family.” I smile slightly “You never ask.” He shrugs “Are they well?” I take out the letter “My sister wishes to know if pirates really have parrots and if we have a plank.”

Izzy huffs which I think is a laugh “How old is she?” I sigh “Let’s see she is in her last year of finishing school so 20 Cici our cousin is 21. Bay will shortly be turning 28 and I am not going to admit to my own age.” Izzy huffs again “I stopped counting at 40. Didn’t think I was going to get this far.” I laugh “Its alright I won’t pry. Always preferred older men anyway.” Grinning I walk away to ask Stede for some paper.

Izzy P/O/V:

I shouldn’t over think things. Shouldn’t focus on their words. But all I can think about is what they said. They always preferred older men. What does that mean? They can’t possibly be attracted to me. Can they? I turn leaning back watching Y/N walk away, over the past few weeks they have become… what have they become. A friend definitely, more possibly. I don’t hate the way the look the complete opposite in fact, they are one of the only members of the crew I don’t want to throttle on a daily basis.

Fuck. When did this happen? Fuck, fuck, fuck. “You alright Iz? Your face looks well not sour for a start.” Ed walks over chuckling, I fix my expression to neutral “Fuck off.” He grins holding up his hands “Just asking. Are you perhaps thinking about a certain h/c pirate with pretty e/c eyes?” I glare at him while he laughs punching my shoulder “Just messing with ya. We’re coming up on a ship come on.”

The rest of the crew have already gathered Y/N among them a sword at their waste and daggers on their thighs and one at the small of their back. Good, they can protect themselves. The ship we are approaching is only slightly bigger than our own a merchant ship French by the looks of it but possibly Italian.

The raid itself like all the others passes in a blur of steel, blood and screaming. We leave most of the crew alive though none of them escape unscathed. The ship itself holds barrels of wine, fruit, sugar, a fair amount of jewellery.  I help haul things over to our ship while Y/N, Jim and Ed tie up the remaining crew members around the mast and various railings throwing anything we don’t want overboard.

A large girlish shriek comes from behind that must belong too Lucius, turning around I find a member of the captured crew holding a knife to his throat. Before anything can escalate, he grunts and turns a knife in his side, Y/N grins plunging their sword through the man’s chest something in my own chest fluttering, while Lucius collapses to the ground in a heap. They lean down taking back their dagger and I notice a slight wince as the adjust their jacket and make a note to question them later.

Stede is beaming as we make our way back onto the Revenge congratulating the crew on their hard work. I get caught up in keeping the crew in check while Y/N is sent to help tidy provisions. It isn’t till late evening when I find them leaning up against one of the railings legs stretched out in front of them “Hey Iz.”

“How’s your side?” they smile warmly “Took a hit to the ribs, nothings broken or bleeding. How did you know?” I shrug slightly not wanting to admit I was watching them the majority of the raid rather than concentrating “Lucky guess.” I sit at their side propping an arm on my knee “Did you get the reply sent?”

“Yes. Now I shared several pieces of information. You owe me some answers. One, what are your tattoos? Two, if you weren’t a pirate what would you want to be?” I chuckle “I have the three you can see, a second sparrow, a nautical star, a compass and a bunch of roses they were my mothers’ favourite.” I pause pondering their second question. I’ve been a pirate practically my whole life “I enjoy singing perhaps something like that.”

 Chuckling they take the bottle of rum that I offer drinking deeply “I really like your eyes.”

“What!?” they grin taking another gulp before handing the bottle back “I’ve never really found a time to tell you. I really like your eyes and your smile.” I take a large swig from the bottle hoping for a confidence boost “I really like spending time with you.” I put the bottle down leaning closer “What is your honest opinion of me?” they grin “I really fucking like you.” I smirk warmth bubbling up “Really?” they nod leaning in close “Are you kidding? I love your company, your personality, and your looks ain’t a negative.”

I chuckle slightly in response unsure of the feelings currently erupting in my chest they meet my gaze grinning “Do you want to kiss me?”

Your P/O/V:

Izzy blinks in shock “What?” I grin leaning in closer “Do you want to kiss me?” I tilt my head slightly. “‘Cause I really want to kiss you.” he doesn’t move so I lean in slowly giving him every opportunity to move away. Our lips barely brush but heat rushes through my body I go to pull away when Izzy surges forward lips crashing into my own.

I bring a hand up burying my fingers in his hair one of his resting gently on my thigh. The need for air forces us apart. Both of us are flushed and breathing deeply my heart beating erratically. Izzy leans in again softer this time hand moving up to cup my cheek “You’re stunning.” I grin and shift, so I am fully facing him wincing with the movement. His brow creases slightly thumb brushing over my cheek “You should rest.”

“I’m fine.” He chuckles and stands helping me to my feet lips meeting mine once again “As your superior I order you too rest.” I smile before sighing dramatically “Well I suppose I shouldn’t ignore a direct order.”

[biconickyoshi]

An avatar nonshipper for years, I once found myself having an extremely vivid and emotion-filled dream of Zuko and Aang being destined for each other. Never once in my years of being a fan have I considered a possibility of shipping them, ever, but my brain casually decided to rewrite its whole chemistry in one night.

My first thought was, what the hell did I get myself into. Will my closest friends accept me as a newly converted Zukaang shipper? Will I ever find a community of like-minded people who, too, received prophetic dreams one day? Am I doomed to be in, dare I say, a rareship pit for the rest of my life?

In the end though, I am glad to have found people who see what I saw when my eyes opened to all the possibilities for the first time. The mind is a tricky and fascinating thing. I just wanted to send this as a message of support for your incredible work! It's everything I could have ever dreamed of (which I did, ironically), soft and romantic, loving and warm. There might not be as many of us, but I can see that our fandom is dedicated. I hope to see more of your Zukaang vision, as well as more others who like them as much as we do <3

Aaaa thank you so much for sending this ask, anon!! And for taking the time to read my fic! :) I absolutely love this origin story for how you started shipping Zukaang haha, because yes, it sounds like the universe basically gifted you a prophetic dream!

It seems like a lot of us started out not even considering Zukaang as a ship. That was me until one random day in 2021, when I just had an epiphany and realized the sheer amount of potential the ship had if only they had been a bit closer in age during the events of the original show (though I do still ship Zukaang with their canon ages once they’re in their 20s - they have the same age gap as me and my husband).

It was a pretty big deal that I started shipping Zukaang honestly, because while it took me like 14 years to even consider them as a ship, they are now one of my all-time top OTPs, if not my favorite overall. Prior to this, I was always an avid Kataang shipper (and I still think they’re cute and I’m glad they ended up together), but I’ve literally never been this invested in a ship before, especially not a non-canon one. This is also the first ship I’ve ever written fanfiction for too, and it’s a long fanfiction that I have consistently worked on for months now. I’ve been in other fandoms and had other ships where my interest was very strong, but never this long-lasting.

I also empathize with worrying about what your closest friends will think of you being a Zukaang shipper - that’s me as well lol. I still haven’t told mine. Thankfully my husband is super chill about it and even helps proofread my chapters, so at least I have someone irl who I can gush to haha.

I’m so happy to hear you’ve enjoyed The Avatar and the Fire Prince so much - it has definitely been a labor of love, not just for the Zukaang ship, but for AtLA as a whole. It has given me the opportunity to truly dive into the world, characters, and lore and flesh them out in ways they couldn’t be in the original show. Plus, it’s just been a blast to write! :)

Thanks again for sending this ask anon! We’re happy to have you in the Zukaang fandom! ❤️

[magenta-embers]

Hi! Nice to read you.

I've been in Tumblr for years, and this is the first time I send a message. I mostly use this app to read, and I'm usually just a ghost because I don't comment or anything else besides read, lol.

Well, the reason I felt like I needed to send you a message is because this channel of yours is new and I have read all your posts so far and I am absolutely intrigued to read more from you in the future because you already made me laugh a few times plus you have a psychology degree and although I don't have one because funny enough, I hated reading so much when I took psychology classes that I couldn't fathom getting that degree.

I do have a way with humans that is not common with the bast majority. I'm very intuitive and empathic as well, which makes my interactions with people deeper than I sometimes would like it to be. But that's a different story... I digress...

I found BTS this year because of K-Dramas. All of a sudden, I don't know how my Instagram went from KDramas to BTS. They are all over my explore feed, lol.

(Well it's not that difficult for IG to full my feed with them since once you like KDrama stuff, the whole South Korea country shows up in the algorithm lol, I just find it funny, sorry again I digress...)

The way I got to "meet" BTS was with the Run Episodes mini Reels in IG. Again, they are all over my feed. So eventually I found out they sing, and found a song I liked, searched it up, found out it was from them, got obsessed with the song, and now I have a few more that I like a lot so far.

I do not consider myself an Army, and I don't think I ever will. I do think BTS is absolutely talented and great performers and I may like more songs in the future if I go over all the albums because so far their songs find me in reels and that's how I have come to like the ones I do. But I do think the fandom is very toxic in my opinion, I'm not saying that all the people in there are, but overall from all the experience I have so far from them, that's the feeling I get as of now from most of the fandom. so I don't see myself connecting that far.

I like all the members. They each have something that I like about them, but what I have come to find out is that Jimin is out of this word. I don't know what that man has, but for God's sake, he can get people obsessed if they are not careful.

Do I consider myself a PJM? No.

However, the man can convert me at any minute to be honest, and I won't notice.

Well, my main reason to write to you is because although I've known about them in more detail the past few months, I'm really new to them. The past month, I got to know what shipping means, and like you, the first thing I saw on Instagram was the JK and TH one. I did not understand what was the romantic side of the videos I was being shown because I couldn't see anything beyond a great friendship. Then, I don't know how, but a video of JM and JK showed up. It was a compilation of them staring at each other and another one of JK walking to any direction JM was going to, and let me tell you...

I felt like I was spying on a couple that were in their private room and I just happened to be in the closet looking through a small hole because I got trapped there before they showed up and shut the door and I could get out. I FELT SO INTRUSIVE THAT IT MADE ME TURN MY HEAD SIDEWAYS MORE THAN ONCE, like I shouldn't be watching such a intimacy without consent. JESUS!!!

The feelings were deep. Let me tell you that much.

So, I, as a romantic person that loves LOVE and anything related to that, such as movies, and again K-Drama, well... I came to Tumblr to investigate this situation, hahahaha... and let's just say that in the past 2 weeks, I have consumed an insane amount of BTS shipping posts than what I would be proud to admit. It's very bad, I need a break. But I'm a binge watcher, and the content seems infinite (WOW), I'm the type of person that watches a K-dramma in one sitting because I can't do it anyway else.

Well, I have told you too much irrelevant sh*t sorry lol

My reason for the message was because I would like to read more posts of JM and JK from the perspective of people that that have follow them for a while and watch original content and express their thoughts on what they see and why they think of them as they do because of what they see.

I am interested in reading how people evaluate what they see without my personal thoughts about what I see as bias. I have been finding the posts I have read like that entertaining. But unfortunately the past weeks as well most of the things I see is people asking bogglers why they think JM and JK are still together and a constant fighting about recent things like video leaks, JK meeting too much with his friends but no with JM, this or that, and it's getting boring seeing these bloggers intelligence wasted on those questions.

My opinion is this: I won't assume they are a couple unless they say so (highly unlikely) or when definite proof gets leaked or posted by Dispatch or something like that. (Which I really hope it never happens, they don't deserve an outing like that if they are not ready) but I find it very concerning that these so called fans, and shippers just want proof that they are together so bad, that they don't care how that proof gets to them, which may hurt their so called bias. That's honestly SICK behavior! And then they wonder why people joke that BTS fandom is full of 12 years old. Again, I digress...

So, as I was saying, I won't assume they are a couple because I respect people, and I don't want to assume their sexuality or relationship. But I don't judge those who assume in a respectful way, I just personally don't want to cross that line.

In my personal opinion, they make me feel like they have feelings for each other and that they are aware of them. Have they crossed the sex line yet? Maybe.

The vibe I get is that they are aware of their feelings towards each other and might be scared to cross that line for the sake of their friendship or the group. Though, that doesn't stop them from being as physical as they show to be on screen.

They're like, "we know we have feelings for each other, we won't cross the sex line, but we will play with fire." And one thing is for sure in this life, intimacy goes beyond the sex act.

They are probably more intimate than what sex could make them be. I don't even know how to explain it in a coherent way to those who just see sex as the way of being fully intimate.

Also, I don't know why people have to assume that they are gay if they are proven to be with each other. I can never get disappointed enough of humans and their limited intelligence, like sometimes two people have a connection so strong that even if they have been only in a heterosexual relationship their whole lives, and there was this one instace where they were in a homosexual one, it automatically doesn't mean the person is part of the LGBTQ+ community, it's just means that there was a person, possibly what they would consider their "soul mate" that happen to be their same sex. But otherwise they have only been attracted to the opposite sex and will find themselves only attracted to the opposite sex if that person no longer exist in the picture, because they will never feel somethig like that again.

I've seen it, that's why I get mad when people don't see that, in this world there's so much that can be possible without putting a pre-existing LGBTQ+ label on it, that's why there's a + in it I guess. But AGAIN, I digress...

Now, even if JM and JK come out saying that they never have had anything going on, that they are with other people in a relationship or whatever else. I won't ever doubt that they had feelings for each other up to 2023. That much I am sure of, no matter the outcome of their relationship. These two had a mini encounter on a live a few days ago, and they both malfunctioned at one point lol they don't know how to control themselves.

But I just wanted to say that I hope you share more of your thoughts of what you see and saw on content where they are part of, like the youtube video you shared, (which I will watch once I have almost 3 hours to spare because once I start that, I won't stop until it's done lol) so I hope to read your opinions on those contents, your thought process as you watch those things. That would be entertaining for me as a new person viewing this shipping world, and those new like me that want to read stuff like that as entertainment or to learn more about them.

People here write as if all the readers are old in the BTS world or, more specifically, the Jikook world and not all of us are. I caught you doing some comments like that too so far, like "if you know you know," or like "you know what I am talking about," and I'm like... "But I don't know, I want to know but don't know lol" so I'm left clueless lol

Please, I hope that if you are here for a long run, remember that people like me will always exist and we may find your blog in our way to discovery and won't know sh*t lol. Also, I hope you tag more words so your posts are easier to find for people like me. Like when a post is about Jikook, you can also tag JM and JK tags since it is about them anyway. I was just following the Jimin tag, and now I will follow the Jikook one because some posts don't make it to the Jimin tag even tho the post includes him. But you may have your reasons, so it's totally fine if you don't.

Sorry for the long message. It's my first one ever, and I took it seriously, apparently lol.

I'm a millennial, I use lol a lot...

Att: The LOL Millennial

P.S. Any possible grammar/spelling mistakes are expected for my old age lol, thank you :)

God, I love a good, long message. Hi! Hope you don't mind me sharing your story and thoughts. It was a good read! I've also been a lurker until recently.

I'll try to respond in order.

"But I do think the fandom is very toxic in my opinion, I'm not saying that all the people in there are, but overall from all the experience I have so far from them, that's the feeling I get as of now from most of the fandom. so I don't see myself connecting that far."

It is absolutely okay to be a casual fan. It's healthier even. About the fandom, it's big enough to be a country, and as we know, a country holds many perspectives, personalities, religions, opinions, factions, moral/political alignments, criminals, and creeps, but also mostly just regular folk trying to make it through the day. That's how I see ARMY. It's simply too massive for everyone to get along. I think the toxicity has gotten much worse since the solo era started and the fandom is more divided than ever.

However, I believe that once BTS returns as a group, all of the garbage that's happened or been said this year will be forgotten. Solo projects have rotted the fandom's brains and yet were absolutely vital to the artistic growth of each member. It's a necessary evil, and BTS will be way, way stronger for it. We, the regular folk here, just keep our heads down and weather the storm. Amazing things are coming.

"But unfortunately the past weeks as well most of the things I see is people asking bogglers why they think JM and JK are still together and a constant fighting about recent things like video leaks, JK meeting too much with his friends but no with JM, this or that, and it's getting boring seeing these bloggers intelligence wasted on those questions."

We're getting a lot more fan interaction from the members during this hiatus than I thought we would. So it was surprising to me to see people whining about Jimin and Jungkook not posting about each other enough. Some people seem to think those two need to communicate solely via public social media otherwise they hate each other. Some people have entire narratives on how/when/why jikook broke up based on the stupidest shit you can imagine. As I said, solo era has been painful. My brain cells are dropping like flies.

"but I find it very concerning that these so called fans, and shippers just want proof that they are together so bad, that they don't care how that proof gets to them, which may hurt their so called bias."

Because to them Jungkook and Jimin are dolls to smash together while making kissy sounds. They just want to "win" their little ship war. As far as I'm concerned, there is no war because jikook is an actual possibility and the others are not. End of story. Any explicit "proof" getting out would be disastrous for them at this point in time.

"In my personal opinion, they make me feel like they have feelings for each other and that they are aware of them. Have they crossed the sex line yet? Maybe.

The vibe I get is that they are aware of their feelings towards each other and might be scared to cross that line for the sake of their friendship or the group. Though, that doesn't stop them from being as physical as they show to be on screen."

I think this was pretty much my opinion too until I started my deep dive and observing the timeline. The "state" of them of being aware of their feelings for each other but hesitant was late 2015/first half of 2016, in my personal timeline, it's one of the big shifts I saw. Their relationship has several developments after that too. So if they're currently in a romantic/sexual relationship, they have been for years. If they're not, then it's not likely to happen.

"in this world there's so much that can be possible without putting a pre-existing LGBTQ+ label on it"

Sexuality is a spectrum and people shouldn't have to define themselves if there is no label that quite fits. The more labels and distinctions we make, the more we box people in and become less inclusive. Jimin could be bi, Jungkook could be gay, but we don't know. We can't know. What I do know is that they really find each other really, really attractive.

"But I just wanted to say that I hope you share more of your thoughts of what you see and saw on content where they are part of, like the youtube video you shared"

Thank you for your support! That's the plan! It was painful to be so undetailed in the intro post.

"People here write as if all the readers are old in the BTS world or, more specifically, the Jikook world and not all of us are. I caught you doing some comments like that too so far, like "if you know you know," or like "you know what I am talking about," and I'm like... "But I don't know, I want to know but don't know lol" so I'm left clueless lol"

I know that's annoying, it was for me as well when I was starting my journey. But the "if you know you know" stuff I'm referring to is pics/info that leaked and we weren't supposed to see. More "evidence' I suppose. Nothing that would ruin their lives, obviously, but far far more telling than any dumbass clip/pic we've gotten for their other dating "rumors." Maybe you've already seen them. I'm not going to gatekeep these things, since they're out there anyway and you can find them, but you can reach out to me if you'd like and I can tell you in private.

"Also, I hope you tag more words so your posts are easier to find for people like me. Like when a post is about Jikook, you can also tag JM and JK tags since it is about them anyway."

The reason I didn't tag them individually is because solos, akgaes, and taekookers (jk tag) lurk in those tags and they're eye-twitchingly annoying. Especially right now.

Nonny, thank you so much for listening to my story and sharing yours. It was lovely to wake up to. I appreciate the interest a lot. I hope to hear from you in the future!

E.

[ikuzeminna]

Hi! How did you learn to read Japanese? If I'm not wrong that you do, is the Japanese depiction of the GW characters' personalities different from their Western depictions?

Hey! Learning how to read Japanese is definitely an adventure in and of itself. For me, I had learned how to read and write hiragana and katakana from the Yoshida Institute’s site long before smartphones existed, along with a few kanji. I would use hiragana for my cheat sheets at school. (Yes, I learned a whole different alphabet just to cheat at history and geography instead of simply studying for my exams like a sensible person, even though I realized it was way more effort. I'm not exactly smart.) I started learning kanji properly years later with the kanji learning app Japanese Kanji Study, which I can't recommend enough, then took a brief language course and then accidentally ended up studying Japanese in college for 1.5 years, which is where I learned all my beginner's grammar (みんなの日本語 anyone?) and, as is totally apt for a beginner, hentaigana.

It’s funny when you can't string five sentences together without issue, but can make out Nobunaga's scribbling, something many natives are incapable of. Great, balanced education you thought up there, folks.

At least I got a laugh out of one Ranma ½ episode where Ranma found Kuno’s journal entry and couldn’t read it because of course that doofus would write it in the most archaic manner possible. 

Anyway, as far as reading aids go, I’m just gonna plug everything I’ve used over the years for anyone interested. The Firefox extension 10ten reader has been a lifesaver, as has been Jisho. When it comes to comprehension, Google translate is dog crap. I’d recommend Papago, which must have been trained specifically on East Asian languages as the results are much better. Not perfect, but better in my experience. Google translate has long incorporated OCR (image to text) so it may be less useful, but I’m very fond of the no-install Capture2Text which can convert manga speech bubbles to text, provided the scans are clean enough to read the kanji.

For grammar, I stuck to Minna No Nihongo. Bought all the books and slowly work through the lessons now.

The most valuable asset though is having a fluent or native speaker you can ask. Nuance is impossible to grasp if no one explains it to you. Even with vocab, you’ll run into plenty of words with the same meaning. Dictionaries often don’t distinguish in those cases. Having someone you can ask makes learning a lot easier.

Now for the Gundam Wing part of your question.

I’m not exactly sure what you mean by Japanese and Western depictions, or rather who you mean. If we’re talking official sub vs. dub then yes, there are a few differences. Heero isn’t perpetually constipated in the original (he actually has a sense of humor!) and Duo is a lot less flirty than his dub version. But it’s nothing grave. Certainly not Seto Kaiba levels of the dub rewriting his character to make him rant about not believing in destiny every time he opens his mouth.

Or Saber Rider being the leader of the Star Sheriffs. wtf I grew up with a lie D:<

Now, if you’re referring to fandom spaces, I am, without a doubt, the wrongest person to ask as I have never seen what the Japanese Wing fandom is up to and have never really been in touch with what the West is doing either. Have I seen fanfics and do I know 1x2 is the most popular ship? Yes. Have I spent 10 minutes looking at a manga panel, trying to figure out what is going on, only to hit the back button as fast as I could once I did? To the detriment of my poor eyes, yes. But when it comes to fandom differences, I think @muwi-translates could give you a proper answer. I can’t really say much as I’m not involved in the fandom in a way that lets me know such things.

I just sit here in my bubble, talking to myself most of the time.

[thornfield13713]

Do you have any favourite settlement-building things, and how do you explain them narratively (since I know narrative is a big thing for you)

Uh...I'm pretty proud of how the Red Rocket turned out! It's set up very much as Georgia's own home, and I used a lot of junk to make it feel homey and lived-in - she's got a teakettle and a lot of mismatched scavenged cups, that golden grasshopper she found on a case with Nick, a cat, a little vegetable garden, lots of posters...and also two yellow buses on the roof, which have been pressed into service as 'guest bedrooms' for anyone who might happen to come and stay - so, her friends, passing Minutemen, occasional Railroad agents on the way up to Mercer safehouse. I am not explaining how the buses got up there. They just...did. Don't worry about it. I kind of regret that we can't get radchickens, even once they're a thing in Far Harbor, because a coop of those would've been a nice addition.

In terms of other settlements...well, first thing I did once I had access to the Vault-Tec reactors from Vault 88 was swap out Sanctuary's reactors for one - I love using Vault elements in Sanctuary, because it made a lot of sense to me that the settlers there would take everything that wasn't nailed down out of the Vault for their own use or to be repurposed in various ways. I know a lot of people like to wait and leave it, but for me, it made sense to make use of it as a resource, and to bury the dead of Vault 111 as quickly as possible, even if that isn't an in-game possibility. One of the keystones of Georgia and Preston's early friendship is that he helped her bury Sam. But it made sense that they'd want to take the reactor, and that the reactor for that Vault would be a very powerful one, as on top of all the other running costs of a Vault, it also needs to power all those cryo pods apparently indefinitely. Oh, also, one house is set up for MacCready and his son, and another is designed as Preston and Sturges' place, since I started shipping them after a while (refitted by the end of the game to include a bedroom for Synth Shaun, since I've headcanoned Sturges taking him in).

I also had some fun with Home Plate - first setting it up as a family home for Georgia and a ten-year-old Shaun, and then stripping everything out after the Institute reveal and leaving it bare until after the endgame, at which point it got converted into the Minutemen headquarters in Diamond City - somewhere for recruits from the Great Green Jewel to meet and work, and a bunkhouse for Minutemen who happen to be passing through on the way to somewhere else.

Also, in larger settlements, I like to have bathhouses. It just makes sense to me that, rather than deal with hauling water to one's own home to bathe, there'd be a business or two set up that took advantage of a prime location near the pumps/filters to be the place where you can go and rent a bathtub and maybe a private room/sectioned-off area to wash in. I mostly put these in settlements that approach 'small town' in size, though, as opposed to smaller homesteads where building space is at a premium.

Oh, and the Castle. I am very proud of the Castle. I don't think I've ever needed to fire a shot myself when the place has been attacked in-game. And, of course, we've got missile launchers facing out over the water this time, to make absolutely sure that if there's another Mirelurk Queen incident, it's going to go differently this time. I've also set up greenhouses inside the walls, and an additional pair of water pumps in addition to the purifier, because I really didn't want to consider the possibility of somebody cutting off access to the one outside the walls.

Starlight Drive-In is pretty neat, too - I love using all the neon I can in this build. I really like the idea of the town of Starlight City maybe one day growing into the northern Commonwealth's answer to Diamond City, and using a lot of film posters and neon gives it a very distinct character.

[sakuraswordly]

Enkidu: Sonic, do you remember that we used to play together when you were young?

Sonic: You must be.....in my memory....."Enkidu" right?

Enkidu: Uh-huh

Sonic: So that means this place.......

Enkidu: You could say "Dreamworld".

Sonic: I know...because...you had already died...

Enkidu: Why are you so sure that I have died?

Sonic: I don't know.....I just know....

Enkidu: Just know? Do you remember Punch?

Sonic: Yeah...I finally know her....she was the one who saved me...

Enkidu: And unseal your locked memories, that's why you can come to communicate with me.

Sonic: So....I am really...him

Enkidu: Yes. So, do you remember Humbaba?

Sonic: I finally remembered him too. So that was really Humbaba?! But I saw it in my memory...

Enkidu: That jerk Kujaku was reviving Humbaba back to life. That's not Humbaba I know...that Humbaba is not like a zombie now.

Sonic: But.....are you sure about this Enkidu? I mean...Humbaba was your friend once....

Enkidu: You really didn't change, Gil....you are still soft inside even in your judgment. I had already told you, didn't I? Enkidu whom Humbaba knew was already gone and Humbaba I knew was already gone too.

Sonic: I....huh? (Wait....Gil? Never mind...why do I feel so sad like I was with Enkidu for a very long time like a best friend?)

Enkidu: Remember when we once defeated him in the past?

Sonic: We...? Oh! You mean with that golden guy! Yes! I remember when we fought together....Huh?! Not again....my head....

Enkidu: Hehe. Your enthusiasm is the same as Punch I see.

Sonic: Hey! That was not nice Enkidu! Oh...not again...Sorry.

Enkidu: This time use my powers combined with yours to defeat….you already knew how to defeat him right?

Sonic: Are you teasing me again?! C'mon! I knew I was Punch or that golden guy! But still, I am myself! We never defeated Humbaba together but we did play together, okay?!

Enkidu: Hehe. I know.

Sonic: But I remember how my name comes from now...

Enkidu: Pretty cute, right? That's the name that both Punch and Gil decide together.

Sonic: Ugh...what do you mean "cute"?!

Syaoran: Sonic! Can you hear me? Wake up! Wake up!

Sonic: Syaoran?

Enkidu: It's time. You should go, Sonic.

Sonic: We still meet again...right?

Enkidu: We will meet again.*Smile*

*Whoosh*

Sonic: Huh?! I'm wake! I'm Wake!

Amy: Sonic, are you really okay? In the fight, you immediately fell asleep.

Sonic: I know how to defeat that creature!

Syaoran: You are? How could you know--?

Sonic: We were once friends...

Amy: Tails told us that the creature's name was Ḫuwawa. Ḫuwawa is a figure in Mesopotamian mythology.

Espio: The name Ḫuwawa is also an alternative spelling of Huwawa. Ḫuwawa was originally known as Humbaba. Ḫuwawa is depicted as an anthropomorphic figure that is similar to an ogre, giant, or demon.

Sonic: Demon...? That's horrible.....

Espio: Huh?

Amy: How are things now, Espio!?

Espio: Shadow and Velvet can't continue for much longer, I think. Even if we had all chaos emeralds, this creature was older than chaos emeralds....

Sonic: Let me handle this....I knew how to save him...

Amy: But....Sonic...

Sonic: Amy, can you trust me?

Amy: I trust you but I still worry about you! You still hurt inside after saving Chaos that time.

Sonic: This "hurt" now doesn't belong to me....but I need to shoulder this "hurt" with me.

Amy: *Sigh* Alright. Syaoran takes care of him.

After entering a black hole that caused their ship to fall apart and crash land on an alien planet, the Chaotix converted their office into a restaurant in order to earn money for repairs to their ship. But until that creature appears out of nowhere and attacks everyone on the alien planet even Cafe Chaotix.

Sonic: Humbaba......

Ḫuwawa: -----------!!!!!!

Sonic: I'm sorry.

Enkidu gave his chain and axe to Sonic, and Sonic used his and Enkidu's powers to defeat Humbaba with a single blow.

Shadow: (I think I've discovered what the ultimate life form is. Sonic...you really are...)

Once he couldn't move before Shadow and Velvet deal with him.

Ḫuwawa: Before.....I ask....why did you kill me again?

Syaoran: Because you're dangerous and if we don't do that....you will kill everyone you love without knowing.

Ḫuwawa: So my rage made me into a monster wasn't it?

Velvet: We still can save you if you want to.

Sonic: No. He can't be saved anymore.

Velvet: What do you mean, Laphi?

Ḫuwawa: You......

Sonic: You didn't do anything wrong but we had no choice but to kill you...not because of your rage but because darkness corrupted you and changed you into the monster.

Ḫuwawa: .............!!

Sakura: Sonic?

Sonic: Here goes nothing.....*Inhale* We are still friends. Because of that, I was terrified at that time. In fact, I was so afraid that made me want to run away. I never ever want to hurt you at all but Enkidu...told me to defeat you no matter what. Punch also didn't want to lose you as well. None of these should happen. I want to thank you for being friends for many years and for always being a comfort to Enkidu and me.

Ḫuwawa: I know......my king....I'm really glad I will be able to apologize to you one last time.

Sonic: Rest in peace, friend.

*Slash*

.

Enkidu: In the past, he earnestly respected the gods, and loved humans with all his heart. Both Punch and Gil...

.

Syaoran: That memory… belongs to King Gilgamesh, right?

Sonic: Umm.....Humbaba isn't technically a "bad monster." Like Velvet, he doesn't just hang in the Cedar Forest threatening everybody because he's some kind of selfish ogre who wants the trees all to himself. Basically, his deal is that he was appointed by Enlil, the king of the gods, to be super scary and guard the Cedar Forest. He's just doing his job guarding the trees from humans who would like to cut them down.

Tails: ..............................

Sonic: Humbaba's rage reminds me of when I tried to rip Eggman apart. Even though I am not that golden guy but I know he felt the same way as I do because we're the same I guess.

Tails: But we should thank Humbaba.

Sonic: Why....?

Tails: He did help us take down Metarex and thanks to him no ambush awaits from Metarex and our Typhoon once it takes off safely.

Sonic: Maybe Metarex did capture him and planned to use him as ambush us but in the end, he turned down on them, I see.

Tails: Sonic.....you made your decision already right?

Sonic: That's right...I think it's time. I will confess with Velvet.

Tails: Sonic............(I knew that one day he would go to his own path...even me too)

Sonic: ......................

"The burden is too great. In turning back time, you may be able to change the course of the princess's future. But it would also change the futures of all others involved. Especially…the futures of those who knew of the mark on the princess. And you would bear full responsibility for that."

Later at Cafe Chaotix

Sonic: (Kujaku.....this guy must be dangerous more....I need to....) Hey little buddy.....you still remember what you said in the past.

Tails: I know....when this is all over, I'm going to keep the peace my way.

Sonic: A way only you can.

Tails: Um......

Sonic: You know what I meant right?

Tails: Umm.....but even so...I want to go with you. Amy, Shadow and Cosmo will feel the same way too. For now...this isn't the right time now. We can talk about this later. I know Dr Eggman want to say something before you go too.

Sonic: Thanks......I'm always rooting for you to grow up, buddy....

*thud thud thud*

Sonic: ..........................

*flip book pages through*

Source: Humbaba is the monster who guards the Cedar Forest.

Being a monster and all, he isn't the most complicated character, although he can do a neat trick where he changes his faces, and apparently it is pretty hideous. He is described as having seven layers of mystical armor, though he only wears the full seven layers at certain times of the day.

Why's that? We don't know. But lucky for everyone (except him), he's only wearing one when Gilgamesh and Enkidu attack. Even so, the friends only triumph because the sun god Shamash sends down 13 winds, which strike Humbaba from all directions and immobilize him.

In the heat of the battle, Gilgamesh offers up a desperate prayer to Shamash. Shamash hears him and unleashes thirteen storms against Humbaba. Humbaba staggers and reels under this divine onslaught, and at last Gilgamesh overtakes him. But Humbaba pleads for mercy and says he knows Gilgamesh is Ninsun’s son. He tells Gilgamesh that if he is spared, he will be Gilgamesh’s servant. At first, Gilgamesh considers being compassionate, but Enkidu is pitiless. Enkidu urges Gilgamesh to make a quick end of the monster.

Humbaba chides Enkidu for his cruelty. He suggests that Enkidu is jealous and fearful that Humbaba will supplant him in Gilgamesh’s affections. Humbaba reminds them that he is the servant of Enlil, the god of earth, wind, and air—a greater divinity by far than Shamash. If Gilgamesh kills him, he will surely bring a curse down upon himself. But Enkidu tells Gilgamesh to hurry up and kill the demon before Enlil finds out what they’re up to and tries to stop them. Only by killing Humbaba and stealing his cedars can they guarantee their fame. So Humbaba dies.

*Close the book*

Sonic: (Something wasn't right in there....in my memories...Enkidu didn't want to kill him in the first place......Enkidu wasn't jealous and fearful.....why I felt like.....someone made things up....)

[beangods]

4 to 8 and 38 to 40 for the homestuck questions.

4. Ever made your own chumhandle?

gallantArcher. i used it on pesterchum for about 2 days and continue to use it whenever the need arises, which is almost never

5. Ever made a trollsona?

YES.

his name is dhanus deixis and i periodically redraw him to match his hairstyle to mine. he's a prospit-bound breath player, not that he would know what to do with that information if he knew it. he's also a cuspblood between indigo and cerulean, but close enough to indigo for a pegasus lusus to bond with him. once he exited the caverns, a book scorpion lusus also bonded to him, so he spent most of his childhood trying to prevent his lusii from seeing each other and attempting to kill each other on sight. when he was 6 sweeps old his pegasus lusus did crush the book scorpion to death with its hooves, but injured itself so badly in a fit of equavian rage that dhanus had no choice but to put it out of its misery. with his crossbow strife specibus. right now as a subadult he's in Space Uni about to become the highest ranking official on a primarily agrarian colony. the only quadrants he's ever filled are pale, though he had an unrequited blackrom crush in his youth.

6. Ever made a kidsona?

no 😔 my kidsona's name would have to be dirk [PATERNAL SURNAME REDACTED] to fit the letter schema because many people in my life have thought my name WAS dirk because that's what it sounds like when you say derek kind of fast and mumbly in my accent.

7. Ever cosplayed a HS character?

yes.

never took it to cons but i did cosplay vriska at school at least once and i of course had some closet dave cosplays i simply cannot post here. no idea what happened to the red converse but i do still have all other components of this cosplay.

8. Ever bought HS merch?

BOY HOWDY HAVE I. my entire room is plastered with hs posters (including 2 at my dad's place i snagged right before wlf nuked the homestuck collection) and i have several shirts and collectibles as well. my white whale is the terezi scalemate boxers though.

one of my first ever online purchases and i sent it to the wrong fucking address. never received them and didn't know about order numbers so to this day i am kept awake at night by what could have been.

theres actually some scalemate fabric available online so i may eventually just make a pair myself. how hard could it be?

38. OTP?

im always feral for rosemary like if you dont ship my other favorite ships then whateber i guess i could see why someone would do that but every time i run into someone who ships in a way that actively breaks up rosemary i kill them with my mind. i'm going to have a nice traditional rosemary themed wedding when i (a gay man) get married. assuming [meticulous details of my wedding plans that involve contacting renegade cells within the catholic church bc i dont want to bother converting to episcopalianism as an adult]

39. NOTP?

vriska x any man. also any wlw ship where john is inserted for no reason (vrisjohnrezi being the exception bc we all know that's a lesbian-centric semi-nonsexual throuple). johnrose/junerose. pb&j. i cant think of any others (apart from the incest ones) that provoke a sense of visceral wrongness atm

40. BROTP?

johnrose and dirkjane. they are simply best friends. vrisjohn is like. pitch moirails to me.

[lord-aldhelm]

@garunsdottir

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have NO IDEA how happy this made me! THANK YOU SO MUCH for taking the time to leave this comment/reblog! I am swimming in the air right now!! This really made my day! I am shaking rn, trying to calm myself so I can type....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

OK.

First, I totally understand why people would not ship them, and just appreciate their relationship for what it is. Honestly I get it; if they had been romantically involved I may not have been so crazy about them. I think it is the fact that his love was unrequited, unconsummated, and yet he stayed devoted to her that really pulled at me. He had no expectations of her returning his love, and yet he still remained by her side without any ill feelings towards her. I DO love how there are many platonic friendships in this series (Hild/Uhtred being a great one, especially since they do hook up in the books, gross....) And honestly we need more of this in media. Not every man/woman relationship needs to be romantic. Also I really do not like how romantic relationships between characters just get reduced to being each other's love interest without any depth.

That being said, I really feel for Aldhelm. He just loves Aethelflaed with his whole entire being, and he suffers so much in this show. I just cannot for the life of me understand how she looked at THAT and then wanted to go fuck Uhtred, I just don't. So, yeah, I ship them. Intensely.

And I CANNOT BELIVE I managed to convert someone, holy hell!

Also I am blown away that my work has resonated with so many people! Including you! Like I said in an earlier post (BTW OMG YOU ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH MY ENTIE BLOG AND READ EVERYTHING! ILYSM!!!!!!) I wrote this for me, and me alone. They were driving me insane, and I just started to write down all the daydreams I had, because if I didn't I was going to explode. I was never intending to publish it. Once it was done though, after spending over a year on it, I thought, what the hell? and got an AO3 account and released it to the world, for better or for worse. And I was just bowled over by the comments and kudos and bookmarks, especially as a first time writer for a work that, to be honest, I really was not sure was that great. if even one person loved it that was satisfaction enough for me.

On the world building and Aldhelm's character development: I did not want this to be simply a smut vehicle; I don't want that for them. I love Aldhelm to absolute bits (as I am sure you already gleaned from my unhinged blog), and I wanted to give his character depth, a backstory, some interests and hobbies, and make him more three dimensional. I did not want to reduce him to Aethelflaed's sex toy or love interest; I wanted him to stand out as his own awesome character. I also put a lot of myself in his character development, since, as an introvert, he reminds me so much of myself. I probably hit every trope in the book, but I have to be honest, I have never read fanfic before, and as I said I was just writing what popped into my head.

About the pacing (slow burn): So, originally this story was going to take place after 4.10, and the first 13 chapters were originally going to be flashbacks thus the episodic nature of the first half. But the flashbacks became so cumbersome and I had to move them to their own chapters as a story instead. So my main dilemma was this: in the show Aethelflaed died still in love with Uhtred, and never gave Aldhelm any consideration. How was I to make a relationship between them work? How could she fall in love with Aldhelm when she still carried a torch for Uhtred until the day she died? So I took the nice chunk of space between s3 and 4 to develop that. As I continued to write it, I realized I could not have her stay with Uhtred a moment longer, and thus the arc of the story changed as I was writing it. It is probably a lot longer than it should be, and more angst than I was originally planning, but it is what it is. I really could not remove any chapters; they are each so important to the telling of the story. I still may publish my original story after I clean it up, I cannibalized a lot of it for this one.

I know this story is not for everyone, and most people that read fanfic probably go for the smut and instant gratification. But I just could not do that. I wanted them to fall in love with each other and develop a real deep, lasting relationship with each other, and focus on that rather than sex (which is coming BTW). My kink is meaningful, loving, committed relationships with lots of mutual affection, devotion and respect. I know it is weird, I guess, but that is how I wanted to write them

I am so glad you loved the sparring chapter; I think that was one of my favorite chapters to write!! LOL!

Aldhelm is asking Aethelflaed to get rest from letters and spar with him while the weather is nice: and nothing can go wrong! Aldhelm, a few moments later: oh no, it all went so wrong! 

Oh and the Aelfwynn bits: yes, you are welcome! :) I couldn't not... she is also an important part of the story.

He did not want to destroy her life; he would happily suffer to make sure she stayed safe.

So this is a big part of his character that I could not change, and was integral to the story. He didn't just jump on her the first chance he had, and even when it seemed like she returned his feelings (she did) he still held back because he was more concerned about ruining her life than gratifying himself. It is something I could see him doing, tbh. It was the main conflict of the story, really, something he has to fight to get over. What can I say, we both know Aldhelm is a terminal overthinker. I really wanted to stay in character for him, and I honestly could not see him jumping at the opportunity to get into a romantic relationship with her without a lot of pensive introspection and consideration.

i've got to say my favourite chapters were 13 & 14, cause i am that angsty person who loooooves see characters suffer, feel deflated, and be eaten by the deepest, darkest thoughts inside and out

Chapter 13 and 14 were the hardest ones to write for me, because I really had to reach down into the pain and pull that out. Writing a happy love story where nothing goes wrong is boring as hell, even if it is deserved.

About the technical stuff (head popping POV), so I am not a writer, and I know it probably comes across as awkward sometimes. However, it was intentional; I thought it was very important to convey BOTH of their thoughts and feelings rather than making it one sided, or worse, just focusing on actions alone with no introspection. So I wrote it in third person omniscient so we can get both of their thoughts. I am not sure if there is a way to write it otherwise and still preserve the feeling of the story. You are welcome to DM me some insight if you want; I am happy to take constructive criticism, and I can apply it to the next story (I am already working on a season 2 one of them, starting from scratch as it were, and this one will not have Uhtred in it at all)

:)

➡️ Chapter 17 of Springtime in Saltwic is up on AO3 ⬅️

Title: A Long December

Summary: Aldhelm gives Aethelflaed a meaningful gift.

Start from Chapter 1

[insecateur]

I completely understand that. Won't tag as it then.

Kinda had a hunch since you do seem quite.. Protective? About that. Not in a bad way obviously. I think I get what you mean.

Since it's frenchflagshipping day why do you ship them? I personally can't really get behind it romantically but love to hear why someone ships something and I don't think you talk about this one that much. Convert me into a frenchflagshipper.

- 🍒 (anon tag if fine since I do plan to come in here more often)

hi again! i'm glad you get it haha. yeah the vibes are probably obvious, i don't really hide it, just don't really use a word for it i guess. i actually used to be way worse about it but i've chilled down a lot (which is part of why i decided to come back honestly. i know i can handle myself better now.)

idk if i can convert you haha i understand why people might not ship it honestly. i am a sucker for theming and altho the theming with diantha doesn't go as hard as the one that specifically links augustine and lysandre i am still weak for it.

she and lysandre interacts only once sadly :( but i like that she doesn't bow down to him. she seems like she would call him out on his bullshit where augustine might not. i think lysandre would benefit positively from both of them in a different way. it's my understanding that they (lysandre and diantha) are friends in the manga or at least have known each other for a long time ? but i haven't read the manga as closely as i should sadly. i just think they'd enjoy arguing with each other, and lysandre definitely needs someone who'd argue back at him haha.

as for augustine they obviously know and respect each other. i like how in the pokémas new year countdown conversation she's supportive of him but also makes it clear that she'll be by his side if things go wrong with lysandre.

plus i just like her a lot and i think she deserves to have two boyfriends one of which can probably lift both her and their common boyfriend up at once.

i'd like to write about them sometimes (i am actually mayhap working on something but it's largely pwp so not much character exploration happens in it😭) but for non-smut fics i feel like i'd want to write their relationship developing organically and that would take some time since diantha and lysandre would take a while to properly... see eye-to-eye i guess. like move on from just "vaguely antagonistic" to "cordial but also about to get into the longest argument ever at any second except they're both having the time of their lives while augustine keeps track of the score"

augustine would definitely help though. to me he has to be the glue keeping them all together i think.

...i did not expect i'd have this much to say lmao SORRY

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

What a coward ass account. I’ve asked about several questions but I bet you won’t answer it because apparently you ship a fake ship and have 0 backbone and you can’t argue with anyone because you’ve nothing to back up your fanservice ass ship. Namjin is merely a friendship and a professional one at that. Wake up. Jin is never intimate with Joon, never tells me he loves him, never goes out of his way to spoil him, never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy so how tf are y’all so fucking delulu and blind?

You know, normally I’d just delete something as rude as this but honestly you gave me a good laugh with it so I’ll take the bait. But FYI, while I planned on answering these questions sooner or later, because imagine this, some of us have jobs and things we need to take care of and thus sometimes just don’t have the time to write posts, especially when some of them take a lot of time and research, even more so when an average thematic post from me is somewhere between 2 and 5k words long. That takes a hot minute to write. Not that you’d care, but now I don’t think I’ll answer them because I truly don’t appreciate you coming into our asks and being this unnecessary level of rude. If you felt like I skipped your question or was taking an oddly long time to answer, it would’ve sufficed to send in a small question about it and you would’ve gotten a normal answer for it, but guess not.

There are several things I find extremely interesting and also hilarious about your ask, especially since they confirm basically every suspicion I have about shipping when it comes to Bangtan and mlm ships in general.

But I’d like to start with this first because it really made me pause there for a minute: “because you’ve nothing to back up your fanservice ass ship” Since your ask is about Namjin I will assume this part is as well, yes, and I really am struggling to see how they, of all ships, are a “fanservice” one considering both Namjoon and Seokjin aren’t really big on skinship and initiating hugs and touches. What, exactly, about them is fanservice? Even more so since you go on to say this: “Jin is never intimate with Joon, never tells me he loves him, never goes out of his way to spoil him, never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy” so if these are your definition of what constitutes a) fanservice and b) a relationship, yet you claim Namjin is just fanservice, how can that be if you say they never do any? This math doesn’t math, you know.

Before I get ahead of myself, let’s break this down point by point, shall we?

1. “Jin is never intimate with Joon” – Tell me, dear anon, how exactly do you know that? Are you their friend? A fly living on their wall and watching over them 24/7? And also, how, exactly, are we supposed to be shown that by them? Is Namjoon supposed to walk over to Seokjin and, I don’t know, make out with him while Bangtan B*mb Noona stands a meter away and films the whole thing? What even does intimate mean in your definition? I have a sneaking suspicion of what you’re asking for but I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Since I like language, let’s get into the literal definition of the word intimate, shall we, because you might be surprised to find it doesn’t just mean what you think it does. According to the Cambridge dictionary, intimate has several meanings, and what Namjoon and Seokjin show us and tell us that they have is actually several of them:

“Being a close, personal friend”, does that ring a bell? It does, doesn’t it? Namjoon and Seokjin have known each other for ten years almost, have spent a considerable amount of time together, have had dinner with each other’s families, Namjoon was at Seokjin’s brother’s wedding, and Namjoon is the person he turns to when it comes to his lyrics, always makes sure to thank Namjoon in his Thank You section in their albums, and supports him however he sees fit. Isn’t that intimate?

I know you mean the sexual kind of intimate, and truly that is something neither you nor I have any knowledge of and, surprise, it’s none of our business either. If I remember correctly, we’ve never brought up anything really sexual in any of our posts because I don’t believe in this whole “sexual tension” thing that toxic shippers go around preaching about. Even if it were there, that’s not for us to discuss because their sex life is none of our business.

Next.

2. “never tells me he loves him” – Never tells you he loves him? And why, pray tell, should he tell you, specifically? Yes, I’m being petty, so what. Love speaks many different languages, and saying the words “I love you” is just one of many, many different ways in which you can let someone know you love and cherish them, romantically and platonically. Years ago when Seokjin posted a cover on SoundCloud he said in the accompanying post that he prefers saying I like you over I love you, so I guess that means he just doesn’t love anyone, yes? Besides, is he obliged to stand in front of the camera and profess his undying love to Namjoon for you to believe he loves our dearest leader?

Isn’t it enough that he shows his love and respect for Namjoon in other ways, like praising him when Namjoon was being hard on himself so Seokjin told him he did well and that he always does well even in tricky situations, or being by his side during red carpets and other such things because Namjoon once asked him to do so because he feels calmer when Seokjin is by his side? Isn’t that a beautiful way of showing someone you love them, regardless if it’s romantic or platonic love?

Next.

3. “never goes out of his way to spoil him” – Is Seokjin Namjoon’s sugar daddy? Did I miss something?

Next.

4. “never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy” – now this point I have the biggest rage at because neither of these things—possessiveness and jealousy—are good things, especially not in a romantic relationship, but really, they aren’t a good thing in any kind of relationship. Possessiveness is a slippers slope, as is jealousy, the former being a great gateway toward an abusive relationship and while that might be “”””cute”””” in raunchy romance novels and movies, it isn’t in real life. And neither is jealousy. The only thing jealousy really tells and shows you, in the context you are going for, is insecurity and a lack of faith in your relationship and especially your partner. And that, again, isn’t a good or healthy thing for a relationship, especially not a romantic one. I know toxic shippers eat up this whole jealousy bs, YouTube is full of it after all and brings in hundreds of thousands of views (and dollars), but that has nothing to do with real life. So, the fact that we never see Seokjin, or Namjoon, jealous or possessive over the other? That is a good thing. Besides, enlighten me, how is this jealousy supposed to look like because true jealousy doesn’t appear written across your face in neon letters. I’m curious.

Next.

5. “Namjin is merely a friendship and a professional one at that.” – if that is your opinion, I’m happy for you. I won’t go out of my way to prove to you why I think differently or why you should because that’s not what I’m here for. Yes, I have a certain opinion on Namjin, that’s true, but I’m not a toxic shipper who will fights someone tooth and nail over it because that’s stupid. And won’t change anything anyway. Besides, my opinion doesn’t in any shape or form negate that they are friends. Every good relationship should have friendship as basis, and I very much believe that they are very close friends, while your phrasing makes it seem like you think they are only work friends, as in people who are friends during working hours but stop once they clock out of work, just saying.

The purpose of this blog isn’t to somehow convert people into shippers or convince them of something, instead it’s simply supposed to be a happy space where we share our opinions, have fun with Bangtan, their music and everything else, and can have civil conversations without calling anyone out or calling each other names. It’s literally in our blog description “Sharing thoughts on everything Bangtan, as well as vmin and namjin”, meaning it is a blog “designed” for both OT7s as well as people who already are vminnies or namjinists, or both, and yet if someone happens to start liking one of these two pairings because of our posts, like I’ve seen happen with some readers and namjin, that’s great, but that’s not our primary goal in any kind of way.

This is our blog which also means we have the freedom to answer whichever asks we want to and however quickly we want or can. Chances are, perhaps, the way you phrased your ask simply didn’t sit well with us and thus we decided against answering it at the time. Just some food for thought.

Lastly, there are a lot of blogs that surely represent your opinions and agree with you, so what, exactly, are you looking for on our blog? Do you think by sending an ask like this, or questioning my opinions in such a manner, you’ll be able to convert us away from our opinions? Neither of us forces anyone to agree with everything we say, so you don’t have to either, and we also don’t force anyone to read our posts. If you don’t like what we post, you are free to look for a different blog with which you’ll be able to agree and find your opinion represented, I won’t stop you. Enjoy.

[prepare4trouble]

Idk if you ship Heahmund/Ivar but if you do, wanna write something with Hvitserk dealing with the fact that his brother is falling hard for a christian menace?

I don't ship them, but I thought I'd give this a go anyway. Unfortunately, it didn't go according to plan, and I ended up writing and re-writing it for over a week until I ended up with one single scene that... isn’t exactly what I intended to write. Still, I have to post it or I'll keep chipping away at it forever

Sorry if it's not what you were hoping for...

(Prompts are still open, by the way)

Seated on a bench in the hall of King Harold’s home, Hvitserk watched out of the corner of his eye as Ivar made his way slowly across the room. His brother leaned more heavily than usual on his crutch, his steps shorter and slower than they had been earlier in the day, and it was clear that he had spent too long on his feet.

Hvitserk knew why. He had been visiting the prisoner again, the Saxon priest that they had, for reasons known only to Ivar, brought back with them from England.

Ivar reached the table and carefully lowered himself onto the bench next to Hvitserk, but leaving some distance between them. He sat with his back to the table, then turned to meet Hvitserk’s eyes as though daring him to say something. Hvitserk declined the offer, and turned his attention instead to the cup of ale that sat on the table in front of him.

Hvitserk didn’t trust the prisoner. The priest had betrayed him once before, when he had left he and Ubbe bruised and bloodied before sending them back to Ivar as a message that there would be no peace between their peoples. It was a move that had precipitated the rift in their family, and even if he chose to believe that it had been fate, Hvitserk couldn’t help but hold the priest responsible.

Holding onto the table for leverage, Ivar leaned forward, grabbed one leg with his free hand, and hoisted it up onto the bench with his foot pointing toward Hvitserk. He began to unfasten the buckles on the leather straps that held the brace in place. “Problem, Hvitserk?” he asked.

“Uh…” Hvitserk picked up his cup of ale and downed it in a single gulp. “What?”

“You looked as though you had something to say,” Ivar told him. His voice was calm and measured. He looked Hvitserk in the eye as practised fingers continued to work on the straps. “Why don’t you just say it instead of grinding your teeth and glaring at me?”

Hvitserk tapped the back of a fingernail on the side of his empty cup, and considered the request. “Okay,” he said. “I will. He’s dangerous, and you shouldn’t trust him.”

Ivar’s fingers stilled on the final buckle of his brace, and his brows knotted into an exaggerated parody of a frown. A hint of an amused smile played on his lips. “Who are you talking about?”

Hvitserk scowled, not in the mood to play games. “You know exactly who I’m talking about.”

“No…” Ivar shook his head thoughtfully as his frown deepened. “No, I do not believe that I do. After all, I know a great many dangerous people.” He paused, then smiled somewhat pointedly. “I am a dangerous person myself.”

“I was talking about the Christian, Ivar.” Hvitserk told him. “As you well know.”

Ivar gave him a dismissive shake of the head and turned his attention back to his leg. He unfastened the final strap, then winced noticeably as he removed the brace. He placed it on the floor next to the bench, near to where he had rested his crutch, for some slave to collect and return to his room later.

“Heahmund?” he asked.

Hvitserk scowled at the sound of the man’s name. “Are there any other Christians around here?”

“How would I know?” Ivar asked with a dismissive shrug. “Probably not, but we are in a new place. King Harold’s kingdom could be rife with Christians for all I know. Anyway, Heahmund is a sly one. He tried to convert me to his faith. Perhaps he has succeeded with somebody more weak minded than myself.”

“He…” Hvitserk found himself smiling at the idea of the Christian attempting to convert Ivar of all people. “Really?”

“Really. It did not exactly go as he had hoped.”

No, he imagined not. Hvitserk shook his head. “But that’s exactly what I mean. He’s dangerous, and not just because he will try to poison our minds against the gods. He would kill you without a moment’s thought if he believed that his god wanted it.”

“I know,” Ivar told him, apparently unconcerned by the idea.

“But still you carry on visiting him like he’s an old friend, talking to him for hours at a time. It’s almost as though you are infatuated with him. Almost like you’re...” he stopped as a realisation hit him.

“Almost like I…?” Ivar said, waving a hand in the air as he prompted him to continue.

Suddenly Hvitserk understood. He knew what was happening between his brother and the Christian. He shook his head, as though he could shake loose the thought, but it was stuck fast. Ivar really was infatuated by the Christian. Perhaps he even loved him.

“Hvitserk?” Ivar said. He waved a hand before his eyes mockingly.

Hvitserk blinked. He couldn’t say that, not with everything that it might imply. Not yet, not when he had no idea how his brother might react.

“You… like him,” Hvitserk said instead.

Ivar chuckled quietly under his breath, then turned his attention back to his legs. He moved his other leg onto the bench and began the slow task of removing the slightly more complicated brace. As he did, he shook his head. “You’re crazy.”

“Am I? Why else would you have brought him here? And why else would you spend so much time talking with him?”

“I brought you back, didn’t I? Ivar said. He winced in pain again as he released one part of the brace and got to work on the next. “He’s a great warrior, he has insight I can use. I find him interesting, that is all.”

“He’s a Christian priest.”

Ivar shook his head. “A bishop, actually.”

Hvitserk frowned. “And what is the difference?”

“I don’t know, but perhaps I could ask him for you, and then we will know. And that is why he is useful; it is important to know as much as we can about our enemies, wouldn’t you agree, brother?”

Hvitserk rubbed a hand wearily across his face and reached for a jug of ale. “He would happily kill you, given half a chance.”

“I know he would,” Ivar told him, “and that is one of the interesting things about him. But don’t worry, brother. He’ll never get that chance, and even if he did, he wouldn’t take it.”

That was not a promise that Ivar could make. Hvitserk frowned, unconvinced.

“It is true,” Ivar assured him. “I haven’t simply been talking to him, I have been slowly winning him over, convincing him that I’m not the monster he thought I was. I think he’s starting to like me, too. Anyway, he knows that I am the only person keeping him alive. If he did manage to kill me, you would have him put to death immediately, and he doesn’t want to die. If he were so eager to join his god, he would have tried to do so already.

There was an undeniable logic to Ivar’s argument, as usual. Hvitserk forced down a stab of irritation. “One of these days, Ivar, you’re going to make an assumption like that and be wrong.”

Ivar shrugged. “Maybe. But not today.”

“You should still be careful. Take somebody in with you when you see him.”

“Having an armed bodyguard present is no way to build trust. I am hoping that he will fight for us, remember? Do you think he would do that if he thought I was afraid of him?

“You told him you would crucify him if he didn’t. Don’t you think that is incentive enough to fight for us?”

“Perhaps,” Ivar shrugged, “But I would prefer it if he wanted to do it. That way he is less likely to betray me to my enemies. Besides,” he reached to his belt and removed a short but dangerous looking knife, I am not so stupid as to go in there unarmed. After all, as you say, he would happily murder me if his god asked him to, and I am just a helpless cripple.”

Hvitserk reached for the jug of ale and refilled his cup, then poured one for Ivar too, and pushed it across the table toward his brother. “You are anything but helpless, Ivar, and you know that wasn’t what I meant.”

Ivar finished removing the second brace and placed it carefully next to the first, then accepted the drink with a nod. He smiled knowingly. “Oh, but that is exactly what you meant, brother.”

And once again, he was right. In a way, that was what he had meant. Ivar would be terrifying to face across the battlefield, coated in in the blood of his enemies, screaming a battle cry from his chariot, but in close, one-on-one combat, especially if he caught him off-guard, Heahmund would have the advantage. Even Ivar would have to admit that, surely.

“And you are right,” Ivar told him.

Hvitserk blinked in surprise. “What?”

Ivar slipped his knife back into its holster, produced a length of strong cloth from a pocket and tied it around his legs below the knees. “I said, you are right. Heahmund is a great warrior. I have no doubt that he would be able to overpower me if he chose to do so. In fact, I have no doubt he could overpower you too. But yet I am safe with him, as I have already explained to you.”

“It’s not only that he could hurt you,” Hvitserk told him. “You might find him…” he hesitated, “You might find him interesting, but I don’t think he feels the same way.”

Ivar laughed quietly. “Are you worried about me, brother?”

Hvitserk set his lips in a thin line. There were only so many ways that it could end, and there was no room for the possibility of happiness. He decided to change the direction of the argument. “Father had a Christian that he found interesting once,” he said. “Do you remember?”

“Athelstan.” Ivar shook his head. “Not really. I was too young when he died to really remember.”

“Well, I remember,” Hvitserk told him. He had been a child too, but he had been old enough to understand what had happened, and to follow what the adults around him were saying. “I just don’t want the same thing to happen to you as happened to father.”

Ivar rolled his eyes. “Ragnar was dropped into a pit of snakes by a king that we have since killed.” Ivar shook his head, then took a long gulp of his drink. “It is unlikely to happen again.”

He was playing dumb, of course. Or, perhaps he wasn’t, not completely. Ivar had been little more than an infant when Floki had killed the priest; a coddled and protected child who had had very little contact with his father. By the time he would have been old enough to understand, the people had stopped speaking of Ragnar and his pet Christian. There was a chance that Ivar didn’t know how deep their father’s feelings for the other man had been, or that after his death, Ragnar had never been the same.

Hvitserk sighed. “Yes, Ivar.” he said, returning to the question his brother had asked him a moment earlier. “I am worried about you. No matter what happens, Heahmund will eventually turn against you, and when he does, I think that it will break your heart.”

Ivar shook his head. “It would not be the first break I have had to endure.”

Hvitserk shook his head. “It’s not the same thing, Ivar. It’s not the same thing at all.”

“I disagree,” Ivar told him. “You think my heart didn’t break when Father died? Or Mother? When Floki climbed into a boat and disappeared into the open ocean? I know heartbreak, Hvitserk. I know it every bit as well as you do. Perhaps even more.”

Once again, his little brother was right. Hvitserk sighed and nodded. “Of course. I’m sorry, Ivar.”

“Anyway,” Ivar added, dismissing the moment with a wave of his hand. “If Heahmund betrays me, I will simply kill him, or have him killed.

“And you think you could just kill somebody that you love?”

Ivar frowned. “Whoever said anything about love?”

Hvitserk closed his eyes briefly. He hadn’t meant to say that, it had simply slipped out.

“Anyway,” Ivar added. “I am sure that if I could bury an ax in my own brother’s chest, I would have no trouble doing the same to a Christian priest. Whether I 'love' him, or not.”

Uninvited, the image of Sigurd staggering toward Ivar before dropping lifeless to the ground, forced its way into Hvitserk’s mind, and he took another swig of his drink as though he could wash it away. “He’s a bishop,” he reminded him, repeating Ivar’s words back to him.

Ivar smiled, apparently unaffected by the memory of their brother. “So he is.”

“And whatever you feel for him, Ivar, he doesn’t feel the same way about you.” Hvitserk was still thinking of Sigurd; he had already lost one brother, and after everything that had happened, he doubted that he could ever repair things between himself and Ubbe, or Björn either for that matter; they were trying to kill his mother after all. That left Ivar as the only family that he had left. He sighed deeply, trying not to think of everything that he had lost, but suddenly unable to think of anything else. “I don’t want to lose you as well.”

Apparently unmoved by the plea, Ivar finished his drink in a single gulp, put the cup down heavily on the table, pressed his palms into the bench to lift himself, then slid down to the ground. “You won’t,” he said. “I think we are stuck with each other, I am beginning to think the gods want us to stay together.”

With that, using his hands to move across the ground, he made his way to the door far more quickly than he had arrived on his feet.

For a moment, Hvitserk watched him go. “You might not love him yet, Ivar, but you’re halfway there,” he called after him. “Don’t deny it.”

Ivar paused briefly. He turned back to look at his brother with a smirk on his face, then continued on his way. As he reached the door, he turned again. “I deny it,” he said, then quickly pulled himself out of the door and disappeared out of Hvitserk’s sight, leaving behind nothing but his crutch and braces, and the sound of a quiet chuckle floating back into the room.

Hvitserk glared after his brother helplessly, left, as Ivar had no doubt intended, with two equally unappealing options; chasing after him and attempting to finish a conversation that Ivar clearly didn’t want to continue with, or shouting a response after him through the wall, with no idea whether Ivar had heard him.

Instead, Hvitserk finished his drink and poured himself another. For all that he still thought of Ivar as his little brother, he was a grown man, and he was capable of making his own mistakes. Hvitserk just hoped it wouldn’t be as costly a mistake as he feared…

[chitsangenthusiast]

fic writer review

tagged by @bisexuallsokka thank you 🧡 🧡 putting my tagging here so @maderilien @dickpuncher420 @marriedzukka @zukoscalzones @babydotcom if any of you are interested!!

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 27! only eight of those were written within the past two years tho lol

2. what's your total ao3 word count? 163,360.....which felt fake bc of the long break between writing so i counted only the recent fics and that's. still 91,749 holy shit lmao

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? if i'm remembering correctly, then six! (atla, harry potter, that singular fruits basket fic when i was 14, kpop (shh), marvel, mdzs, and atla again lol)

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos? useless facts (clintbucky - and tbh only bc it's a 5yo fic lol)

hold me like you do, cover me in blue (zukka)

hands, knees, please, tangerine (zukka)

get a glimpse of this candy paint (clintbucky - also a 5yo fic lol)

don't go wasting your emotion (sangcheng)

5. do you respond to comments, why or why not? i actually didn't use to, but i do now. i feel like the 'leave a comment' game has changed significantly on ao3 and i like showing my appreciation back now! (oh man i have so many comments i still need to respond to omg)

6. what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? lmfao none. i'm not a huge fan of writing angst-based stories or endings, BUT i guess technically it's the mallrat in me can be considered for this one since chpt 4 did end with some angst (for now!)

7. do you write crossovers? if so, what's the craziest one you've written? i don't write fandom crossovers but i do like writing ridiculous au's, and i would say that the funniest jobs i've given any character was the clintbucky exterminator/locksmith story that never got finished lol (rip)

8. have you ever received hate on a fic? holy shit poor little 13yo kath used to get OBLITERATED for my characterizations lmfaoooo please know that my attempts at writing good characterizations now come from blood, sweat, and (literal) tears

(still salty i never received hate from the sangcheng troll last year tho. they loved to attack me on twitter but NOT my fics??? i feel slighted smh)

(more below! felt it got long!!)

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? l m f a o

anyway keep me humming, keep me going is now the second fic that has a title from beyonce's song 'blow' bc those lyrics have a chokehold on me when i write nsfw!

10. have you ever had a fic stolen? no but i've had specific passages from some really old stuff that was stolen and very obviously rewritten/paraphrased, which is. harder to prove lol

11. have you ever had a fic translated? nothing recent but a few of my old hp fics on ff.net were translated!

but omg the best time it ever happened was a year ago when i found out that not only had a 15yo fic of mine been translated (and credited!), it had also been converted into a beautiful pdf!!! complete with cover art and border art!!!! wasn't even aware it was done bc whoever did it had only done it within the last few years i think, but it was such a wild experience to find it i have the pdf saved on my laptop lol

12. have you ever co-written a fic before? i have not! i don't think i've ever had a dedicated beta either, which probably explains a lot lol

13. what's your all-time fave ship? ALTAIR/MALIK they're not even my first otp (which draco/ron and zukka still go strong, followed by clintbucky) but THEY are the ones that seize my heart like no other ship has done 🧡🧡

14. what's a fic you want to finish but don't think you ever will? the zukka ba sing se/blue spirit poetry fic 😔 which is unfortunate bc i'm still so excited to write it/there's a lot written of it, but chaptered fics are nerve-wracking lol

15. what are your writing strengths? idk if ppl necessarily like it, but i really like my writing style! sure it's obvious i write for fanfic vs anything publishable, but i enjoy that lol

also ppl tell me i'm really good at banter, characterizations, and immersing them in the story, which is wonderful bc i do work really hard on that!

16. what are your writing weaknesses? finding the right words. in general, it's so extremely hard for me in that i don't have much of a mental dictionary/thesaurus i guess. it can be upsetting at times, especially when i know there's a better word or way to phrase the line but just have to let it go. i am simply not one of those people who can come up with big words (or words that are like. normal ones to use when describing smth lol)

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages on a fic? it can be a good touch to the fic! i don't have very strong feelings on it, i suppose

18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for? atla, tho harry potter is the one that actually survived the period of fic deletion i once went through on ff.net lol

19. what is your favorite fic ever written? everyone is going to know the answer to this one, but hmlyd hands down my actual baby <333 after a 4yr long break from writing, i knocked out 3 fics but it was hmlyd that really got me excited! writing it was a BLAST, my entire heart went into it, and it's one of my fics that i actually do genuinely go back and read frequently bc it makes me so happy lmao

tbh if i hadn't written hmlyd, i probably would've stopped writing for the fandom after hands, knees, please, tangerine and gone back to lurking lmao

(keep me humming, keep me going is a good contender tho. which goes to show that the fastest way to my heart is just inundating myself with tender competitive lovers lmao)

[sokkabeifong]

Ship ask game

- Tokka our beloved 💞

- Lunarry

- Preyna (Percy/Reyna, kind of a rarepair but I actually love it)

- Deamus

- Maiko

Unfortunately I already did our beloved 😭💕 so I'll do the other 4 for you Nora

LUNARRY

1. What made you ship it?

Okay so I've been a loyal harmione shipper my entire life, so getting myself to admit that I ship it was hard. However recently I found some fanfics and fanart that really converted me, so now I can proudly say that I am a multishipper in the Harry Potter fandom lmao what an accomplishment

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

OMG just all the things Harry and Luna have in common! The thestrals, their conversations in OotP, the way they help each other? They honestly make so much sense and I'm surprised how unpopular the ship is

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really, I'm not deep enough into the ship to see what everyone else really thinks about it and if I contradict any of them

PREYNA

1. Why don't you ship it?

Again, I really love percabeth and percalypso, and more recently I've gotten into jeyna, so I can't really see percy and reyna as much. If anything I view it as a fling, maybe something they tried once to see if it would work

2. What would have made you like it?

Maybe percy showing some sort of affection for reyna, or returning her feelings? Or maybe not being such a clueless babushka and realizing how she felt sooner

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

It seems like a nice ship, like two praetors getting closer, maybe if percy had stayed in New Rome with her.

DEAMUS

1. What made you ship it?

Read the books lol they clearly end up together. They actually live in England with a son they adopted and three cats and two dogs in case you were wondering

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Best friends to lovers. Need I say more?

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Nope. Pretty much everyone who ships it agrees they got married after the battle of Hogwarts and had a secret thing going on right?

MAIKO

1. What made you ship it?

Just canon I suppose, the fact that they ended up together satisfied me. I love Mai's "I love Zuko more than I fear you" declaration as well, perfection right there

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

The above statement, and also the "I hate you the least" scene as well. They just genuinely care about each other and you can see it so perfectly in their characters

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Um I don't know if this counts really but I've seen some theories saying that Suki, not Mai, was Izumi's mother, and whole idk where they got that I can see it

[the-storyteller-and-her-soldiers]

Carrying You From The Cold

Title: Carrying You From The Cold

Word Count: 2,056

Warnings: Some cursing, but nothing in malice. OTHER THAN THAT JUST FLUFF!! Also some poooooooooossible oocness but I think I got it good!

Ship: The Ripper’s Rose (Raiden x myself) Also Jetstream Sam x my friend Ace

Summary: When walking home from my bank well after midnight, I stop at my friend’s house for a visit. But upon seeing how exhausted I am, she’s not letting me go home alone

A/N: Just for clarification Ace and Alyssa are the same person. The same goes for Raiden and Jack! Enjoy!

Eyes of ebony gazed into the window’s glow while the frigid wind whipped Rebecca’s back without any remorse. She stood on the crooked porch of her friend’s home that had been converted into separate spaces for multiple families waiting to be granted access once more to her haven from the hellish temperatures. When the door creaked open, amethyst wisps of hair smacked against her rosy cheeks and temporarily blinded Rebecca to the figure who greeted her.

It wasn’t the slim yet toned figure of her childhood friend, Ace, but instead, one that towered hers both in height and muscle. It was a man with long umber shaded hair tied into a ponytail, chocolate eyes that always seemed to burn brighter than the sun, a scruffy five o’clock shadow, and a long scar sliced deeply into the right half of his face. Using her fragile fingertips that had gone numb long ago to brush the strands away, a warm smile spread across Rebecca’s face.

“Ah, the lady of the hour. Come in, come in, Alyssa has already set up the fire and a drink for you.” The man greeted, beckoning Rebecca in with two metallic fingers before stepping aside.

The smile on her chilled lips grew even brighter as Rebecca gave a short bow. “Thank you, Sam, and happy holidays! I would’ve dropped by sooner to wish you well but school, work, and the government trying to screw me over have left me drained. I hope you have been enjoying the last bit of the year though and that Acey has been sending my regards.”

“She always does. It’s honestly very sweet that you look past my past with Jack to still wish me well.”

Rebecca let out a quiet laugh as she wandered what was practically her second home growing up. “It’s no biggie! As I told you shortly after you came back, you are my sister’s husband so if she trusts you to keep her arms open for you then so can I! But if you ever hurt her...”

“Yes, I know, I know. You’ll have my head, and by you, I mean that your guard dog Jack will. But you know that without Alyssa I’d not even be alive, honestly.”

The polite conversation slowly shifted to a slightly wary silence as the two made their way to the kitchen. Yet any reservation that Rebecca held was thrown to the softly howling wind as she finally met with her sapphire haired sister-figure. Her slow steps burst out into a stumbling dash as she rushed to tackle the older woman by two years in a hug.

“Acey, you’re an absolute lifesaver! You know that right? It’s so fucking cold out there, it’s not even funny!”

A slight smirk crept on Ace’s lips as she caught the shorter girl in the tight embrace. She only removed one of her hands to flick Rebecca’s forehead before returning it to where it had been rubbing her back to help warm her up. “And you’re absolutely insane, you know that, right? What’re you doing out so late? It’s twenty to one in the morning and twenty-five to zero outside! And why didn’t you have anyone accompanying you?! You know what kind of assholes are out there, especially at this time of night!”

The laugh that left Rebecca’s lips this time was much more sheepish as her dark chocolate gaze flicked from her life-long friend to the floor, then to the kitchen table where two mugs filled with steaming liquid sat.

“Um well, because I’m a dumbass! I bought myself a last-minute Christmas or early b-day present but I went below my net in my bank account and I’m forgetful sooo I just went out to restore it! It was only a quick thirty-minute walk one way, so I’ll be home in no time! I just wanted to stop by since I know you were awake!”

Ace shook her head, but the smile on her lips remained. Out of all the people in the world, her little sister would be the one to do this. She was always drawn to the silence of the sleeping world, finding it even more enchanting to wander around while everyone else slept. A slight exhale left Ace’s lips as she took a moment to admit to herself that she had probably been the one who planted that seed of wonder when the two were much younger.

Her slightly scolding gaze of thrashing seas melted to a still lake as she looked Rebecca over and found no wear or tear. “Well, at least you bundled up this time, but you still feel like a friggen ice-pack!! C’mon, sit down; the marshmallows I put in our cocoa are gonna melt into nothing soon enough!.”

So the two took their respected seats and began sipping on their drinks, with Rebecca once again deeming her sister as a lifesaver for the sweet treat. The two stayed there for about fifteen minutes, with Sam also pulling up a chair to join them, talking about everything that came into their thoughts. Ace could see her little sister growing more exhausted by the minute though. From the way, her eyelids began to droop and how the weight of her head was becoming too much to hold up, she knew that Rebecca wouldn’t make it in the land of the conscious too much longer. So when the young girl slid back and shakily stood up to bid the hosting couple a good night, Ace simply walked to her side and forced Rebecca to plop down back into her chair.

“What makes you think I’m letting you walk home?”

Rebecca’s heavy eyelids shot wide open as she looked up at Ace. “I-I only came for a visit! There’s no way in hell I’m letting you let me stay or drive me back! I don’t wanna be a bother!”

Once again, Ace flicked Rebecca’s forehead. “One: You’re never a bother. Two: You’re right around the corner. Three: I will not let you go back to walking another fifteen minutes all alone, so if I won’t drive you back I know someone who will. Heard from a source he was working late anyway, Sam can you call Raiden for me and let him know that his girlfriend is trying to make a dumbass decision again?”

Rebecca tried to protest, squirming around and insisting she was fine but Sam smirked and remarked how he was on it. Ace just brought her to the couch by the heater in the living room to let her rest.

Sam stood nearby in the foyer as he dialed his old enemy and current work-rival, silently pondering if the cyborg with silver shaded hair would even answer. The phone had begun its fourth ring and he then wondered if getting ahold of Wolf would be a better way to get in contact with him. But before he could get too far on to that train of thought, there was a soft clicking sound before a familiarly raspy voice spat,

“What the hell do you want?”

Although there was no way that the stormy gazed man on the other end of the line could see him, Sam slowly raised his hands in a surrender gesture.

“Always so defensive, aren’t you Jack? Don’t worry I’d like to keep this short as well so I’ll just get to the point. Your little kitten is at my house, it was something about buying a gift then wanting to go to the bank to manage her funds. She stopped by to visit with my Alyssa and now wants to walk herself home--”

“What?!” Raiden growled before there was a short pause. 

Sam could only imagine him gritting his teeth together and pressing his foot further down on the pedal. Thinking back on the comparison he had made about him earlier, it took all his willpower for Sam to stifle the chuckle reverberating in his chest as he thought further on the mental image. The idea of the oh-so-infamous ‘Jack the Ripper’ acting as nothing more but a scary guard dog to his innocent and kitten-like girlfriend was something that Sam never thought possible. But then again one could say that Sam was in a very similar position with his wife, so who was he to judge?

Before Sam could further explain the situation, he was silenced by Jack telling him that he’d be there in fifteen minutes and not to touch Rebecca in the meantime before he hung up. Sam chuckled to himself as he strode into the room where the two women were resting, slinging his arm around his wife and explaining the current situation.

Lifting her heavy head from Ace’s lap, Rebecca softly spoke, “Oh no... I didn’t wanna cause him any trouble. I hope he’s not mad. I can walk, really!”

“Mad at you? I don’t think he’s capable. But at me, well, there’s a possibility.” Sam assured, although his jovial tone revealed how little that mattered to him.

Rebecca let out a soft sigh of relief before laying her head back down to return to her rest, leaving the hosting couple to get cozy with each other. Yet within only thirteen minutes, there was a low humming of a car engine sounding from outside and only a minute after that the sound of knocking against their heavy wood door. Seeing how Ace was still occupied with her cat-like friend, Sam was the one to greet the other guest of the night waiting outside their door. Unlike before however, these two didn’t exchange pleasantries. These two barely exchanged a full glance before Raiden brushed by his host to greet his partner.

When he did enter the living room and took in the sight of Rebecca’s small stature all curled up in the warm scarlet hue of the heater, her expression free from any strife or worries. Raiden brought his hand over his mouth but that couldn’t hide the way the corners of his mouth twitched upwards or the warmth that coursed through him just by being in such a peaceful presence, her presence.

Once more Sam strolled in and stood beside Raiden, letting his arm rest on the other man’s shoulder. “See, there’s your kitten all safe and sound.”

Turning his narrowed gaze towards Sam, Raiden only told him to shut the hell up. His voice remained low as to not disturb the dear sight before him. But it was Ace who had broken the quiet as she cleared her throat.

“Will you two stop mind fucking each other? ‘Cause if you don’t then I’ll be the one having to stay with our cat the whole night.”

This seemed to snap the two out of their mental fighting as Raiden reached forward, easily scooping the small stature of his starlight into his arms. Without opening her eyes, Rebecca just wrapped her arms around her partner’s neck while a happy noise slipped from her lips. She then leaned forward to brush her lips against his cheek before immediately burying her face in the crook of his neck as though it was the safest place for her to be. Even though it was common knowledge how comfortable Rebecca was with her love, the wave of not only relief but pride that flowed through Raiden never ceased.

He then quickly said his goodbyes to Rebecca’s sister and her husband. Thanking them both for keeping an eye on her before carrying his partner out.

The sensations, however, tickled his cybernetics nerves and Raiden couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped his lips. “Long night, huh?”

“Mmmmm, needed something special... as a gift... Now I gotta recharge. It’s too cold.”

“Alright then, I got the car still running so it’s nice and warm for you. But next time, just call me if you needed to get out for a bit.”

Rebecca lulled her head to the side as she let out a breath of a laugh, “I know, but I wanted to surprise you with a gift, ‘cause I love you...”

Raiden leaned down slightly and pressed his lips against Rebecca’s forehead. “I don’t need anything else when I’m lucky enough to have you by my side... So, as I said if you need anything just give me a call, alright? I love you more than you’ll ever know...”

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

thank you for coming up with that ship name, it's so pretty <3 Anyway have a Faywood HC: Penny crushes on Aurelie in the early years before slowly realizing that Aurelie doesn't appreciate her (I agree with you she was so shallow) and realizing Luca lied about the trinket when Aurelie has no memory of giving it to her. But she's not mad ofc, she's touched <333

...I don’t know what inspired me to write this. I don’t even particularly ship Luca with Penny in general, but I guess you caught me in the right mood, and I’ve enjoyed our back n forth, and somehow this just came spilling out of my fingertips. I hope you enjoy - 

Dear Jacob,

I’ve told you this before, no doubt, but I really dislike lying. Especially to friends. A first year could tell you as much, that it’s wrong to deceive the people you care about...and yet I’ve done it, time and again. I kept my misgivings about Rowan a secret and that led to us falling out for months. I had my reasons, and Rowan themself has even said they were understandable, but that fight was still my fault. But there have been other times as well. I lie to cover for Talbott and Chiara virtually any time I talk about them. And in those cases, I genuinely think I’m doing the right thing. That’s the trouble, lying sometimes feels like it would be the right thing to do, for the best outcome all around, so that's what I wind up doing. 

It’s what I did to Penny, when her pen-friend visited from France. I lied, more than once, to protect her feelings. First by keeping my suspicions quiet, and second by giving her that ornament “from Aurelie” when it was not, in fact, from Aurelie at all. Well, it was from her...to me. But it should have gone to Penny if you ask me, so it did go to her...from “Aurelie.” and by that I mean me. 

Of course, I was only a second year at the time and I didn’t really think it through. Didn’t have a contingency plan for getting caught in the lie, and I probably should have thought of that. For all I knew, Penny could have immediately written to her pen-friend to thank her. But it never came back to haunt me like lying to Rowan did, so with time, I mostly forgot about it. Until tonight.

I’m pacing around the Hufflepuff Basement, looking for a certain Mitten who is not yet awake for her breakfast. With term having ended and the winter holiday begun, most of our friends have left school. Most of us. Rowan’s sticking around and we’re making up for lost time, (not like Mum wants to see me anyway, apparently…) and Penny’s parents would have to drag her home in chains - she’s not about to leave Beatrice stranded for Christmas. So there aren’t too many people to ask about my cat’s whereabouts. 

Just as I’m thinking about leaving to search for her by the dungeons, in case she’s seeing Bitten, I hear a familiar “Mrooow…” from within the girl’s dormitory. Door isn’t shut, so I peer inside to see Mitten on the floor, rolling around with whatever stray object she has claimed ownership of this time. It’s blue and looks far too fragile for her to be batting it around, but that’s Mitten. In another moment, I blink and recognize it - Penny’s ornament. 

I’m about to step inside and extract the makeshift “toy” from Mitten’s hold, when I see that Penny is already there, sitting on her bed and watching the show. Okay, well, that’s good - at least playtime has permission this time. I still owe Diego a new Ballycastle Bats poster...and to this day, I have no idea how Mitten knocked it down from the wall to convert into a scratching post.

“Hope you’ve worked up an appetite.” I call out to Mitten gently, holding up her breakfast bowl and waving it slowly. Mitten looks up, and I swear her eyes dilate before she dashes over to circle me, mrowing up a storm. “Okay, okay, right here…” I lead her away from the ornament, setting the bowl down and rewarding her with head rubs as she chows down, before glancing back up at Penny. “Thanks for that.” I really owe her one for her patience. 

Penny stares back at me with an odd, misty look in her eyes. She doesn’t say anything at first, and I don’t press her too. These haven’t exactly been easy times for her, Jacob. For the past two weeks, someone - usually me or Tonks - has to gently tug her away from Bea’s portrait so that she doesn’t sleep there. It’s no exaggeration to say that she’s a wreck. Still, she’s been brewing a calming draught to help quell her nerves, and when she takes it, that does seem to help. I can’t tell if she took some last night or not (I camped with Rowan) so I slowly approach, keeping an eye on her. “Did you sleep okay?” 

Penny doesn’t answer, and I feel fear rising in my heart that she may have had another nightmare. Like most things, they aren’t as bad when she takes the calming potion, but they still happen from time to time. Yet when I study Penny’s face, she doesn’t look upset. Emotional, maybe, but...not upset. Sitting down next to her I notice she’s holding something in her hands - a letter, by the looks of it. With very fancy handwriting. Penny has lovely handwriting, nothing like your wild chicken scratch, but she didn’t write this. She must have received it. Trying not to pry, I keep my face level with hers, before she folds up the letter and sets it aside. 

“You know, three years ago.” She speaks softly, and turns to look at me. “You told me that the blue ornament was a gift from Aurelie.” I feel my heart skip a beat. An old lie resurfacing, one I haven’t thought about in ages, and now I’m caught with no excuses. Yet Penny, predictably, doesn’t appear to be angry with me. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. “But we’ve been trading letters, and she asked about you. Asked if you ever wear the robes she got you, or if you kept the trinket she gave you.” I...have never worn those robes in  my life, I’ve only just realized. Not even sure where they are. But never mind that, Penny’s frown is a gentle one. “Why did you tell me it was for me?” 

I bite my lip, feeling the back of my neck heat up and I’m not sure why. But no, it’s time to come clean. “Because...because it should have been.” Maybe I’ve matured, maybe things are just coming together, but my fifth year has really led to a lot of conversations that should have happened ages ago. Making up with Rowan, making up with Jae...Tulip and Merula finally made up this year, in a sense...and now there’s this. “I’m sorry Penny, I guess I just didn’t want to spoil anything for you. But I…” Slowly rubbing the back of my neck, why is my skin prickling so much? “I feel like Aurelie should have gotten something for you, not me. You’re the one she’s closer to, and you were the one she lied to, back then…” I hesitate from going any further. Whatever my feelings, I’m not going to bash someone she cares about. 

Penny is looking down, her hair falling in her face. Jacob, have I ever mentioned that she has the most intense case of bedhead that any human being has ever had before? We both agree Tonks’ would be worse if her hair was actually long, but it’s not, and Penny’s practically hidden by a straw nest by now. Which is why...damn, I’m not sure what makes me do it, but it’s not like we’ve never been affectionate before. Still, I don’t know why I decide to start pushing her hair out of her face, but that’s what I do. 

Looking at me, she shakes her head, taking my hands. “No no, I’m not upset with you Luca. I just didn’t understand.” For the first time, she laughs a little. That is a good sign - she’s definitely still medicating with the calming draught. “Thought I may have just badly needed some morning tea. No, I...appreciate it. A lot, actually.” Her eyes meet mine, and I don’t let go of her hands. “Aurelie and I haven’t been writing to each other as often these days, though that’s at least partially my fault. I haven’t had the energy to write to anyone these days.” 

“That isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault.” I try to comfort her, but it’s never easy. There’s nothing that can be said to fix her situation, no spell to be cast. We simply have to break the curse - but we’ve done it before, and we’ll do it again. “You’re doing your best, and whatever that is right now, it’s enough.” I promise her. The room falls silent, except for the soft sounds of Mitten munching on her breakfast nearby. 

Penny shuts her eyes for a second and takes a deep breath. “I hope that’s true. It’s taken me awhile to realize it but, even when I give everything I have, people don’t always give the same amount back.” My stomach twists slightly. If she’s talking about Aurelie, I’m hesitant to agree even now, though of course I do...maybe I just need to listen and let her get this off her chest. I’m not sure. “I know that no one is required to give any amount of effort, but sometimes you-you’re led to believe they will, or that they want to, and...oh, I don’t know. Maybe she and I are simply growing apart. Maybe we’ve grown into different people. I’m certainly not the same.” 

“No, you’re wiser than you used to be,” I respond softly, squeezing her hands. “You’ve seen more of the world and not all of it is nice, but you still see the nice things. You ARE one of the nice things. Now, I haven’t talked to Aurelie in years, so, it’s probably not fair for me to make judgements, but...if she’s taking you for granted, she definitely hasn’t grown any wiser.” I had to hold myself back from saying that she was “still” taking Penny for granted, but it’s true. 

Penny sniffs. I don’t think she’s going to cry, but she’s usually closer to breakdowns than even I am these days. Bowing her head, she lets our foreheads nudge together and with no real rhyme or reason, we just stay like that for a while, still with our hands clasped. “Thanks Luca…” She finally whispers, sniffling again before sitting up more. Lifting her arms, I feel her cup my face, feel lips brush my forehead. After another moment’s pause, she sighs. “I need to start getting ready for my day, or I’ll lose my mind...am I keeping you from anything, or can you stay…?” 

I nod, knowing full well that Penny’s morning schedule lasts an hour at least. “I’ll be here.” 

Love, Luca