#I hate!! how effeminate I am!!

[belladonnafleur]

🐸

[soullessjack]

lord knows I do not have the capacity to explain it right now but I have so much disdain for how heteronormative and nuclear this fandom is hellbent on making destiel and lord knows I have an even bigger hatred for how jack is used to fuel it.

[punk-dad-sharkz]

i hate talking about dysphoria with cis ppl because they immediately clock it as body dysmorphia, and only as body dysmorphia. (i say only bc some trans ppl can and do experience both)

i can't talk about how i hate how my thighs make me feel/look feminine because they always say "but you look fine!" or "i think you look amazing!" or "but you should love them!"

and it's so hard to describe dysphoria, especially to ppl who don't experience it, or who don't want to understand it isn't dysmorphia

and no matter how hard you try to explain they always try to make you love this body you have because "you should love yourself as you are!"

but i do love myself. but not quite exactly how i am. i love what i know I can be. i love knowing that one day i'll have top surgery scars i can trace with my fingers and a scratchy beard from T. i love knowing that I can eventually do my silly little effeminate gestures without hating how it makes me look. i love knowing that eventually i can look in a mirror and grin at the man i've become.

but that's not right now. i may cry a little when a shirt doesn't fit the way it should, but i don't hate the body that makes it that way. I may feel a pit in my stomach when I realize the way that i'm standing makes me look girly, but i don't hate that i'm standing that way.

i don't hate that i used to be a girl but i hate when people still think i am.

i don't hate my body, i just hate how it isn't what it's supposed to be quite yet. could that make any sense to the cis folks reading this?

I am trans and I love my body, just sometimes it doesn't love me back. and one day it will.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for calling out someone for being manipulative towards a trans friend? Names have been changed for privacy reasons and TLDR at the end because this is long.

I (24f) am cis but have had a lot of trans friends (binary, nonbinary, and neopronoun) throughout the years and am very supportive so i take this very seriously. So I met this girl my first year in college (we were 18 at the time) and we became friends. We're polar opposites, she talks a lot and I don't, she parties a lot and I like to do more sophisticated things, she's a typical extrovert basically, and I'm more introverted. Anne (24f) was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I don't know when, she just told me this years ago. I've seen tiktoks about bpd and researched Google about bpd a little so I know all about how they have fave persons and will "mimic" people in the friend group and become clingy, manipulate, etc. I've seen pics of her in high school, noticed that she was a theater kid, she said she was good at acting and even said she thinks her bpd helped with her acting although I'm not sure how, but she said she only joined the theater club because a boy she had a crush on was in theater. That should've been my first red flag but I was naive. She has a degree in something else (not theater) because our second year in college her favorite character in a TV show did a certain job, she got interested in that, and now she also does that as a living. She doesn't talk about her bpd, she's only mentioned it a handful of times. I can count on one hand how many times. And I get it because she said someone once told her people with bpd should be sterilized and not be allowed near children. Which is really messed up and I hate that someone said that.

However on with the situation. One of our friends Mike (25m) is a trans man. We met him four years ago. He's very handsome, broody, introverted, intelligent, great listener, very accepting and understanding, similar to me but opposite to her. Now we didn't know he was trans until two years ago, because I asked him on a date and he turned me down, and when I asked why he told me that he was mostly T4T and only viewed me as a friend. We were like woah you're trans, okay that's cool, etc. He explained that he was lucky enough to get on puberty blockers and transition young etc which is why he passes. I said okay I'm not trans and you're mostly T4T fair enough.

Well last year Anne suddenly tells us that she is trans too. She says she's bigender. She says she is okay with either she her or he him because she feels like a man and a woman at the same time. Some days she's a woman, some days she's a man, and some days she's both, according to her. She says she does not like they them pronouns. Suddenly her and Mike are spending all this extra time together. Last month he confided in me that he thinks he's in love with her, after years of him only seeing her as a friend, and then they started officially dating.

Here's the problem: she has not changed her outward appearance, her name, started any kind of medical stuff, joined any groups, bought a binder etc. We all continue to call her she and her because she fully presents as female and doesn't have a problem with it. Also she's very effeminate in body language, the way she talks, etc. I know technically I could call her a he or a him, too, but she never asks me to or corrects people when they call her she because well technically she is a she too. Mike is the only one who uses he and him pronouns with her as often as she and her, but she has never thanked him. It really feels like she's saying she's trans and then going about her life exactly as a cis woman simply to convince Mike to date her.

First off, Anne and Mike are NOT compatible. She likes to party, smoke weed, talks a lot, I'm not sure how she graduated with such good grades or why she does so well in her job because she is honestly a LOT to handle and I'm saying that as nice as possible. Mike would never touch weed or go to clubs and he says he would be fine staying home while she does those things but how could you trust someone to party while high and not hook up with others? I've seen her make out with five people in one night at a frat party. They also had wildly different childhoods, such as she grew up in a conservative community and doesn't speak to her family, and he grew up in a liberal area and is close with his family. But more importantly she has a history of joining theater because she had a crush on someone in theater (plus she admits she is good at acting, so maybe she is acting now?) and getting a degree and job in a field because a favorite fictional character did that and now this? It feels like she was attracted to him, found out he usually dates other trans people, and found a way to continue being cis but claim to be trans without having to do anything trans related, basically mimicing her favorite person. As soon as they met they hit it off, or should I say she clung to him and pretended to have the same likes and dislikes whenever they were alone I assume.

It sounds terrible I know, which is why I discussed this with a group chat first that neither of them are in, and the group chat not only agreed that she is far too "obnoxious" for him (those were NOT my words!) but that she is faking being trans in an attempt to make him fall in love with her (which seems to be working.) I would NEVER have gone further without making sure with them first. So then a few of the people in my group chat and I held an intervention with Anne alone. The six of us (the others don't live close enough to come) met up with Anne at her place and told her what she was doing was wrong and gross and that she needed to get help for her bpd and to stop catfishing Mike. She didn't take well to what was said, which I anticipated, but she went crazy. She was screaming at us, insulting us, sobbing while yelling etc, literally said if we ever contacted her again she would call the cops, so we left.

I immediately called Mike before she could and asked him to meet me at a restaurant nearby and that it was very important. Since Mike doesn't know anyone in the group chat I went alone and I explained EVERYTHING before she could gaslight and manipulate him even further. He left, did not finish or pay for his food. I messaged him several times, but a few hours later he texted me to never to speak to him again, and then blocked me on everything. I showed up to his house and Anne was there. Mike said if I ever contacted him again he would get a restraining order on me so I left. I've discussed this with the group chat and now suddenly half of them changed their mind and don't want to talk about it anymore. Several of them left the group chat. Not only that but several of my friends who know either Mike or Anne or both have blocked me on everything. When I've tried to contact these friends through other means and explain everything, they either didn't respond or said for me never to contact them again because I was being transphobic. Listen I know under NORMAL circumstances you shouldn't question when someone comes out but this is NOT a normal situation, and now I am concerned Anne is unsafe for Mike but also an unsafe person to know, as she literally is trying to destroy my life because I called her out on some seriously messed up and abusive behavior.

TLDR am I the asshole for trying to protect my trans friend from a potential stalker?

What are these acronyms?

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

Tintin through time! 

Thought it would be fun to have my various designs for Tintin in one post. The canon comics have a floating timeline and Tintin never ages. I think rooting him in a specific time and context makes him feel a little more real (also I am a sucker for historical fiction). Click below for a potted timeline and notes about each design!

Left to right, top to bottom:

Child - in my timeline Tintin was born in 1915, a year into the First World War. He was probably picked on a lot by his peers for being small, ginger and slightly effeminate, and was picked on by adults for being “difficult” and asking too many questions.

Early canon - He leaves school early and becomes a reporter at 14. He’s unhinged, he’s blasé, he dresses like Spongebob. Coming right out of Catholic school he has a lot of unhealthy beliefs he needs to confront and unlearn. I imagine his editor is a pretty shady person as they are willing to send this kid off to dangerous places. His naivety prevents him from spotting any red flags at first.

Late canon - Tintin as we know him! His journalism career is at its peak at the tender age of 17. He’s found a family and stability at Marlinspike. His politics are evolving. He is, however, pretty neglectful of his own personal life, almost fully focusing on his career. He’s starting to grow wary of his editor and they frequently argue, Tintin often winning out as he knows it’s his articles that sell papers.

Young adult - With the Second World War breaking out this is an unstable time in his life. He’s come to terms with being gay but is fired from his paper after being forcibly outed. Tintin and the Marlinspike team take fighting fascism into their own hands. 

For his design here he wears a turtleneck like Captain Haddock, glasses like Professor Calculus (also representing a renewed perspective on things) and his hair is more relaxed like Chang’s! The idea was to show how he has been impacted by the people he cares about. 

After the war ends he struggles with unemployment and burnout, insecure that he might have peaked as a teenager.

Middle aged - It’s the late 50s - early 60s, Tintin is jaded and cynical but still kind and willing to help others. He is absolutely horrified by the events of WW2 and carries an enormous sense of guilt, feeling he didn’t do enough. His faith in journalism has also been thoroughly shaken, witnessing the spectacular failing of the system himself, and realising there are people who genuinely do not care for the truth, and are only concerned with power. 

Elderly - if he somehow makes it to old age he’d be a chaotic little old man who doesn’t give a Single Shit. It’s the late 80s and early 90s, at this point he has retired from journalism and has published his own books, and has taken to becoming a full time political activist (here he’s wearing an AIDS awareness ribbon from 1991, in the 70s Herge had Tintin wear a helmet displaying a symbol for nuclear disarmament). Kids adore him, cops hate him! 

He has taken to technology, being an early adopter of the Internet and desktop computers. He and Chang have since been able to reunite with Chang’s family and they often spend time with Didi’s grandkids!

I don’t know what would kill him. Old age? A car bomb? Maybe he falls over badly and bangs his head one last time. I don’t think it’s my place to decide.

[meeks-just-wants-to-scroll]

Do I ship your Bill/Javier/Micah? No? Do I like rarepairs and think they are awesome? Yes, so QUESTIONS FOR YOU BECAUSE I KNOW THE RAREPAIR TRENCHES ARE HARD TO LIVE IN:

What is your fav part about their story? How do you think they realised they all liked one another? Do you think they go on dates?

Thank you!! Yes, the life of a rarepair shipper is rough but it isn’t the trenches. It’s more like a very boring white box. There are no haters here (I haven’t experienced any), but neither is there enough fans to make content. And so it is just me wagging the flag for F of a Feather.

I think I have already answered questions like these in detail before so I’ll make these briefer. I’m still answering them just in-case my ideas have changed since I last spoke.

Fave part about their story?:

They don’t have a lot of story since I mostly drew this ship from thin air and loosely pieces together interpretations of scenes. Scenes that inspired the ship are:

- Javier pinning Bill with a knife to his neck (camp interaction)

- Micah and Javier drunk and laughing (Camp)

- Micah, Bill, and Javier during the entirety of Guarma: I especially like Bill helping Javier get around. Also Micah abandoning Javier is so angsty oh man…

- Javier getting Arthur to help save Bill from bounty hunters (random event).

- Micah making fun of Javier being effeminate + Javier punching Micah (campfire)

- Javier and Micah whispering to each other, then laughing and shaking hands during Chapter 6 (camp).

- MICAH FUCKING HITTING ON BILL??? (Missable dialogue in the over world before the mission ‘a short walk in a pretty town.’)

- The preamble cutscene at the start of ‘The Delights of Van Horn’ with Micah and Bill.

- Bill and Micah’s bickering dynamic in the optional ‘Rob A Stagecoach’ mission with Micah in Chapter 4.

- and more I am sure…

I like how none of the three of them were on the same page by chapter 6, hence them all splitting. Bill and Javier ran away together from Dutch and Micah by the end of chapter 6. I haven’t played rdr1 so I can’t say much in detail, but I hear Javier and Bill still seem to be amicable by that time which is another reason I feel they could have had some connection pre rdr1.

How did they realize they all like each other?:

I think they were all cheaters and realized they cheated on each other with the same people /j

The more serious response is that Bill and Micah were the first to become a situationship because both are closeted gay/bi men and wanted their dicks wet.

Javier and Micah had an odd amicability that only existed when both were drunk. Drunk micah is far more tolerable and more willing to divulge personal details or talk about his feelings. (Drunk bill and micah are also a hoot.) while drunk, Javier and micah have some gay stares and touches.

Bill and Javier is harder to box into a dynamic label. Javier tolerates Bill’s asshole behavior and sometimes doesn’t have the energy for him, but they bond over their loyalty to Dutch and both being hard workers. Bill appreciates Javier to the point of being a drunken fan girl at times. Javier can see there is a good man within Bill, he’s just frustrated with all the flaws that cloud that from coming out.

Uh and then they all individually got drunk and emotional and wanted to show their appreciation for each other because they’re all friends (I guess) and they don’t know how else to show that than making out hot and wet.

Meek’s headcanons ⭐️: Javier is asexual /aromantic spectrum and doesn’t have interest in being anything official with anyone. Micah is sexual but aromantic-spectrum and non-monogamous; he hates the idea of being an exclusive partner to anyone (he sees it just as repeated actions, not that those repeated actions mean anything). And Bill is a conflicted Monogomous gay man who wants to have the closest thing to a sexual gay relationship.

So… none of them are very compatible in the long run. They just have periodic moments of being what could be considered “on and off situationship bros.”

Do they go on dates?:

No, not really.

- Javier isn’t that interested in sex (at most he used it to shut Micah or Bill up, but Javier doesn’t get a whole lot out of it). Javier’s love language is quality time and showing his interests in the form of music and fishing (among other activities and topics). Micah has no interest in these things. Bill may listen to Javier’s music but can provide no deep conversations (at least, not deep enough to be stimulating for Javier).

- micah is so vindictive on relationships that it’s hard to tell if he is going to be agony to be around or if he’s going to be an okay person. He has near no interest in anyone else’s lives so a date with him would be the most impersonal and dismissive conversations.

- bill is not a dumb ass, he is the one person who might actually want to go on dates. Issue is he can’t execute complex date ideas without messing up and immediately calling it quits (because he anticipates everyone to laugh at him and hold it over his head for being a fuck up). His go to attempt is to: “Hey! Come over here and have some drinks with me.” Those brief moments of skin grazing and tipsy smiles means a lot to Bill. Javier and Bill could maybe go on a date, but it might be emotionally exhausting for Javier to spend the entire time trying to coax Bill to relax and open his shell.

- as a triad, they don’t go on dates. Closest thing is when they somehow roll the dice and they all get assigned a mission together. It’s rarely just the three of them because their dynamics clash so heavily.

Ughhhh idk how special any of this is. This really is just me repeating my previous posts. I love the ship because they are so dysfunctional. They are the polycule that ruins the polyamory party

[longing-for-rain]

Can we please get rid of the idea that a “strong” woman with an effeminate guy is automatically a subversive and progressive relationship?

Look, I know this take comes from people whose only relationship experience is from fandom tropes and TikTok memes, but it’s frustrating. It’s frustrating to me because I am that woman, and even if it physically “looks” subversive, it often actually isn’t.

Just for context here, I’m speaking from my experience as the kind of woman I am. I’m tall; I’m 5’10”. I have a muscular build. I’m highly educated. I actually used to like the idea of being taller than a male partner, earn more, be the provider, etc. It felt empowering to me, so like a lot of you, I became interested in that idea when I thought about relationships with men. I always hated the “woman role” forced on me and I thought my stature would help me escape it by switching roles.

However, actual experience made it seem a lot less empowering. Because here’s the reality.

Despite what they say, men don’t like it when their wives/girlfriends are taller, or earn more. It makes them feel emasculated. You might notice this immediately, or it might take months for the mask to come off, for him to start acting insecure. But he will. And who will he take it out on? That’s right: you.

Sure, it will be “my girl acts like a booktok boyfriend I love her!” and “my wife is the coolest ever I love her!” at first, but in reality? There will always be some lingering insecurity. He’ll expect you to hold his hand and reassure him that he’s still a man to you and that you respect him constantly.

And that brings me to my next point—these relationships really aren’t as subversive as they seem. Sure, he puts on nail polish and flower crowns. But does he do the dishes? Does he help out around the house? Sure, he gushes about how “cool” you are. But does he support you emotionally the same way you support him? Can you truly be yourself with him, or do you find that you repress and downplay your feelings to protect his?

The unfortunate reality is, there is simply always going to be an unequal dynamic. It’s been instilled into us by thousands of years of patriarchy. You can’t undo that with some fandom tropes. It’s like painting over water damage instead of fixing the broken pipe. The fact remains that as a woman, no matter how physically strong you are, no matter how tall, and no matter how successful, that “progressive” man will still always see you as the woman. His woman. He’ll happily enjoy the benefits of your paycheck while still expecting you to do the majority of the work around the house. He’ll happily ��let” you be strong because it also means you’re spending your energy coddling him emotionally. This isn’t subversive or beneficial for women.

There is, of course, an exception. Men who have fetishes—which to be clear, it is never a compliment to be someone’s fetish. I’ve experienced this as well. It’s dehumanizing. You become an object. Even a man who claims to “worship” you in the name of his fetish really isn’t worshipping you—he’s worshipping the gratification he’s using you for. Gratification which comes from the humiliation of being subservient to a woman, because to them, women are weak and inferior so therefore being the servant of one is the greatest humiliation imaginable.

So yes, I’m really sick of seeing posts glorifying these dynamics, because it’s obvious they’re either coming from people who have no experience with them or from fetishists. I don’t care if he wears a flower crown. I don’t care if he’s shorter and cowers behind his #girlboss wife while she epically stands up for him. It’s cheap faux progress and reminds me of how isolated and neglected you feel when you actually have to be that woman.

If you really want to be subversive, as a man, try actually treating your girlfriend as an equal instead of putting her on a pedestal. Try actually asking her what she wants and needs from you instead of assuming. Try sharing responsibilities with her like a partner instead of a grown child. Try defending her with the same passion she does you. Be just as strong for her as she is for you. Stand up for her against other men. Challenge other men. Learn about what she cares about and values. Focus on what you can do for her. Engage with her hobbies. Treat her like a human being and not a trope.

Now that would be an actually subversive heterosexual relationship for a strong woman to be in.

[cyanoticfireflies]

Hazbin Group Chat Fic, pt 2

(Part 1)

PurpleFemale: All right, which one of you hos put a carafe of blood in the communal refrigerator?

SeXXXySpider: Objection!  I’m the only certified ho here and it wasn’t me

Alastor: Ah, guilty as charged, I’m afraid.

WhiskeyWhiskers: Why the fuck would you even…

WhiskeyWhiskers: Nope.  Nope, I’m good.

SssirP: Why would you put blood in the refrigerator?

SeXXXySpider: Christ, Pentious, read a room….

Alastor: To keep it from spoiling, of course

CharChar: Alastor, listen.  We are a ~totally accepting~ group of people who are okay with each others… quirks.

Alastor: Why thank you.

CharChar: But maaaybe please don’t leave blood in the refrigerator like it’s a carton of milk?

Alastor: Perhaps I’m misunderstanding your logic, dear girl.  Why is it okay to store the mammary extractions of a cow in the refrigerator but not the vascular extractions of a deer?

PurpleFemale: Oh thank god.

SeXXXySpider: Okay, I’m not the only one who immediately assumed it was the blood of a sinner, right?

NaNaNaNiff: Not this time at least!!!

SeXXXySpider: (ㆆ _ ㆆ)

SssirP: But… we keep food in there.

WhiskeyWhiskers: Apparently so does Alastor.

PurpleFemale: Gross.

Alastor: I must say, I’m feeling very singled out right now.

CharChar: Oh, no, Alastor, nothing like that!  We’re just all still adjusting to the little quirks from living together.  Right, everyone?

Alastor: Yet here I am, being publicly judged for what I choose to put in my mouth and yet no one says a thing to the effeminate spider.

SeXXXySpider: *WHEEZE*

PurpleFemale: Kill me.  Please.

WhiskeyWhiskers: I hate every single one of you.

Alastor: Really, half of the freezer is taken up by the boxes of popsicles he keeps in there.

PurpleFemale: …

WhiskeyWhiskers: …

SeXXXySpider: …

SssirP: Alastor does have a point, actually.  We’re supposed to share the space, but Angel Dust takes up more than his fair share.

PurpleFemale: I’m simultaneously so relieved and so disappointed.

SeXXXySpider: I was actually going to be really proud of the radio freak

SeXXXySpider: And was then going to go bleach my brain

WhiskeyWhiskers: Alastor, do you even hear yourself when you say things

Alastor: Sorry?

CharChar: Um, I think everyone else might have drawn their own conclusions about what you were making an allusion to….

NaNaNaNiff: They definitely thought you meant dicks!

Alastor: I did not.

PurpleFemale: Well we know that NOW

CharChar: Actually, that gives me an idea for a get-to-know-everyone exercise!

WhiskeyWhiskers: Of course it does.

CharChar: Everyone should tell the group what their absolute favorite food is!

CharChar: I really like apples.  I know it’s cliché with my dad and all, but I remember being really little and him conjuring up some for me to snack on and they were always so good!

PurpleFemale: That’s actually really wholesome, babe.

Purple Female: I guess chicharron for me.  But, like.  Good chicharron.  If it’s shitty, then it’s worse than no chicharron.

SeXXXySpider: Lasagna ((っっ˘ڡ˘ςς)

SeXXXySpider: But if you get the sauce from a jar, you deserve to be shot

PurpleFemale: Wow, Angel.  You actually… participated.  And answered.  And the answer wasn’t a sex joke.

SeXXXySpider: Hey, I’m happy to talk about sucking the cream right out of a long thick cannoli if you want me to

PurpleFemale: And there it went.

WhiskeyWhiskers: You should know by now not to tempt fate

PurpleFemale: Yeah….

SssirP: I actually quite like a good chamomile tea and biscuits, myself.

NaNaNaNiff: Hehehe, you don’t like scrambled eggies?

SssirP: … I do like them hardboiled on occasion

SeXXXySpider: Damn, hardcore, my guy

SeXXXySpider: I guess there really is a kink for anything in Hell

SssirP: I didn’t mean my Egg Boiz!

SssirP: I would never!

CharChar: How about you, Niffty?

NaNaNaNiff: I like chocolate!

PurpleFemale: That was a surprisingly normal answer.

NaNaNaNiff: Chocolate covered ants, chocolate covered crickets, chocolate covered silkworms

NaNaNaNiff: Chomp chomp!

WhiskeyWhiskers: Again, Vaggie, tempting fate…

SeXXXySpider: I’ve never regretted less not having a gag reflex

CharChar: That’s… that’s all right!  Some people do eat, um… chocolate covered bugs.  Everyone has their own tastes!

CharChar: Husk!  What about you?

WhiskeyWhiskers: Macallan

CharChar: What’s that?

PurpleFemale: Husk.  No.

WhiskeyWhiskers: Glenfiddich

PurpleFemale: No, Husk

WhiskeyWhiskers: Balvenie

SeXXXySpider: Daaaaamn, daddy only drinks the top shelf shit

WhiskeyWhiskers: Call me that again and see what happens

SeXXXySpider: Don’t flirt with me in public, baby

PurpleFemale: Brands of whiskey can’t be your favorite foods, Husk

WhiskeyWhiskers: No one else was told their answers were wrong

CharChar: I mean, no, but everyone else’s answers were technically food, sooooooo

WhiskeyWhiskers: All right, fair enough, I guess.

WhiskeyWhiskers: I mean, shitty bar food?

WhiskeyWhiskers: I don’t know.  It’s just kind of nostalgic?

CharChar: Really?

WhiskeyWhiskers: I think my first vegetable was celery from a bloody mary.

SssirP: Aww.  That’s kind of sad.

SeXXXySpider: Newsflash, P – if we weren’t all walkin’ tragedies we wouldn’t be here

CharChar: Alastor, I guess you like venison?

Alastor: Indeed, my dear!  ThE RaReR ThE BeTtEr

SeXXXySpider: Hey, Niff.  Can I be your best friend if I bring you, oh, say, a 10-foot or so chocolate covered moth?

PurpleFemale: Please don’t make that sexy.

WhiskeyWhiskers: What did you say earlier about bleaching your brain?

SeXXXySpider: No, but seriously.  Chomp chomp, sister, just like you said!  No sexy.  Just crunchy.

NaNaNaNiff: Ehehehehe, that’s a LOT of bug!

SeXXXySpider: I’ll see what I can do, toots

WhiskeyWhiskers: If we’re actually killing Valentino, I want in

CharChar: … I mean… me… too?

SeXXXySpider: ╰། ╰། ◉ ◯ ◉ །╯།╯

PurpleFemale: Whoa.  Really, babe?

SssirP: Goodness! 

Alastor: That doesn’t sound like you at all, Charlie

CharChar: Angel’s boss is a jerk

SeXXXySpider: Bet

(Part 3) (Part 4)

[velvetvexations]

on the topic of trans women being affected by transandrophobia, there has been a lot of recent discourse on twitter from TRFs over artworks that are assumed to be of trans women (but are usually of non-binary people, or a loving portrait of pre-transition trans woman drawn by her friend) appearing too “masculine.” In these discourses several butch and gender non conforming trans women have spoken up about feeling hurt to see their peers call art that looks like them (or is even explicitly *of* them) be called caricature or a troonjack. Following one of these events I saw a tweet bemoaning how butch transfems are *always* taking the “TMEs” side and betraying their sisters and that this made them “honorary transmascs who should be treated as such.”

It reminded me so distinctly of the bullying I received before I even realized I was trans for failing womanhood, and then the subsequent “gender traitor” treatment I received. I understand that trans women might not necessarily want to understand that treatment as being an extension of transandrophobia, and frankly I think the way those trans women and fems were being treated could as easily be called transmisogyny, it just made me think a lot about how transphobia can be deeply… circular I suppose in how we are punished. Now that I am broadly read as an effeminate man I deal with a lot of bullying from other men (cis and trans) that a lot of trans women could probably relate to from before they transitioned. We have a lot in common.

I'm becoming increasingly convinced that transradfems really fucking hate GNC trans women because they aren't pretty anime forcefem kink girly girls.

It would explain why they've painting other queers as obsessed with transmisogynistic caricatures their new thing, so they can make sure other trans women stay attractive to them. Hey, did you get any comfort from that post about love for butch t-girls? Yeah, sorry to break it to you, they're basically calling you Buffalo Bill. They think you're Tim Curry in RHPS. If a TME is ever nice to you it's because you're ugly and don't pass and they see you as a drag queen who they love so much more than real t-girls who of course all look like this fictional femboy I throw a raging fit about not canonically being transfem despite not even being in the fandom.

Having said that, lmfao I want to be an honorary transmasc, plllllease. I feel the most community with the transandrophobia-acknowledging part of the internet and with my experiences in life having already been extremely weighted towards interacting with AFAB trans people and cis men because I met people mostly through kin* and kink,** I have this sense of being an outsider that can't connect with people on that level.***

*actual proper "this is literally me in a past life" fictionkin are overwhelmingly AFAB to the point I don't think another AMAB person has ever even submitted an application to the server I'm in

**my kinks are weighted towards AFAB people and cis men; even with my misgendering kink I still have to wade through a billion posts for AFAB people to find one crumb of AMAB content

***still mad about that TRF who took me being sad about alienation and was like "of course no other transfem wants to talk to her she's so transmisogynistic" as though my problem with TRFs making me feel alienated from transfems is them having a problem with me and not me being proudly opposed to them

[dolls-self-ships]

related to my last post (on Ford's sexuality/romantic orientation)

ok, this is going to sound really stupid so please, bare in mind that I am aware that this is a fictional character and he isn't real and even alex hirsch himself said that anyway a fan might resonate with a character can be true to them. With that being said, I personally don't love the headcanon that Ford is gay. I myself am aroace, and a lot of what he seems to experience in terms of romantic relationships and his feelings on them seem to align more with my own and lots of other aroace people that I know. And idk why but fandoms and esp just the lgbtq community in general seem to be really dismissive of aroace people (some don't even consider us queer but thats another post), and idk why but it just bothers me that anytime a character in canon expresses little to no intrest in romance it becomes almost automatically fanon that said character must be gay and not know it, as if being aroace just isn't an option. Because, I feel like those are two different experiences, not completely but, different enough since one can still feel romantic attraction and one feels little to none of it. I also think it's over looked/never discussed how much of Ford's struggles with romance can also come from trauma (being ostrochized, bullied, dont even get me STARTED on it post Bill, etc.) which I also relate to, as someone who for mental health related reasons hasn't dated in years. And I've met lots of people, including men, who have struggled with the same thing. I've had my best friend suggest to me multiple times that I might be a lesbian since men seem to scare me (I've tried, I am not one) and idk I just wish there was more space in fandom to discuss how trauma and being nd or even just being on the aroace spectrum (or all 3) might affect someone's dating life instead of just coming to the conclusion of "oh he struggles with women so poor guy must not know he's gay". Not saying if you headcanon Ford as gay that you're wrong, he can literally be whatever, he's not real. I just wish I had more people that shared this point of veiw on his character with me because I resonate with those parts of his character just in different ways.

I also want to preface that it gives me the personal ick that whenever a male character is more effeminate/eccentric people think that it's an automatic precursor to them not liking women. Like, idk I really hate that it's 2024 and people still base their hcs off of that. There are (very few but they exist) straight drag queens. Femininity is not inherently connected to being attracted to men.

[tea-and-secrets]

im definitely transfem and want to look more feminine and have boobs and wear dresses and feel girly but i also really like dressing in like a mens business casual, like slacks with a tucked hawaiian shirt or just like a colorful but smart outfit, i guess? i wanna be like, business butch? is that a thing? idk im just spitballing. really i just wanna look like a girl even wearing the clothes i currently own, i think. how do i style mens clothes to at the very least look effeminate? what the fuck am i doing? how am i supposed to transition when i feel scared to ask people about this kind of shit. is it because im not out yet? i dont even know how to ask the people im out to already. fucking hate existing physically. why cant i just have a little character creation menu every morning and then leave the house wearing whatever serves the most cunt. and of course my new job "doesn't have a dress code" so i can't even just try to follow that. i need like a personal stylist who will also laser my face and turn me into exactly who I want to be i think

.

[bloodymary83]

The Joker’s Pronouns

I’ve noticed that the Joker has never referred to himself as a he in comics and, this is not recent so people can’t blame it on current events. Joker has always done this. He mostly refers to himself as a “girl”. The closest he has gotten to calling himself he is when he refers to himself as the Clown Prince. None of the hero’s, villains or regular citizens call Joker she/her. They always refer to Joker as he/him. Joker never protests or gets upset by it. I think Catwoman has referred to Joker a few times as She/Her but, that’s when they were friends. Harley and Punchline have never referred to Joker as She/Her. I was told by a Redditer that the DCU states Joker as being Non-binary but, I don’t want to state that as a fact since I can’t actually find it anywhere. (I’m not saying they lied or were wrong it’s just that people demand proof and, then when you give it to them they get mad. I’d hate to see what they do if you don’t have proof.) So am I saying the Joker is transgender? No I don’t think so. He’s definitely more effeminate than some men but, he’s way too comfortable in his own skin to be suffering from gender dysmorphia. Is he Non- binary? Maybe? I honestly don’t think he gives it much thought. I think he just does what he wants. I just find it odd with current events and current comics of cringey mpreg that no one has talked about how he refers to himself as She/Her. I don’t think the other villains refer to Joker as he/him because, they are transphobic. I think Joker just never bother correcting them. Maybe he feels like only he can call himself she/her and others aren’t allowed? DC has never really explained it but, they’ve done it for decades. For example Joker’s said the following lines in comics, “It’s not nice to keep a girl waiting, Let me tell you something girl to girl, Beat it girls only, You know girl talk, Do you tell that to all the girls, What’s a girl gotta do? I have to use the little girls room. Come on Bats don’t keep her waiting while pointing to himself. She wants what she wants, once again talking about himself. He’s also described himself as Not a basic Bitch to Harley, while once giving Batman information about Two-Face, Batman showed disbelief and Joker told him, Never doubt a woman’s intuition. When Batman cuffs Joker to take him back to Arkham, Joker often replies, I’m not that kind of girl Bat’s” it happens far too often for Joker to be using She/Her in a Joking manner. Maybe it’s because, of his childhood. When Guzzo kidnapped and assaulted “Sonny” (aka child Joker) Guzzo seemed the type to refer to Sonny as a “girl”and, other derogatory names normally reserved for women in order to emasculate him. Maybe it’s Jokers way of taking back the power Guzzo had over him or, maybe he just became accustomed to referring to himself that way since it was quite literally beaten into him since childhood. The oddest part about this whole thing is, Why has no one ever talked about it? Why hasn’t anyone ever pointed it out? I guess even DC staff is too afraid to question the Joker.

[saccharinescorpion]

My friend bought me stardew recently and I've taken a liking to Elliott a lot, so I've been looking a lot of fanart ofc but I kept coming across people referring to the hate Elliott gets, and I could literally not comprehend what about him would have people so annoyed at him. Like sure, as a dateable option I could see how he isn't everyone's cup of tea, but like, active hatred? Am I missing something?

And then I saw the post you made today about that Reddit comment and. Damn, y'all really are allergic to the unabashed whimsy of a grown adult huh.

Anyway I love that man and it makes me giggle how little people are upset about, keep it up soldier

i'm not kidding at all, i'm pretty sure the thing that makes some players so hostile when it comes to Elliott is the exact same thing as the fucking joke in Dungeon Meshi about Senshi acting identically to how he always does after being transformed into an elf but because he now looks like an effeminate bishounen everything he does suddenly reads as "haughty"

i want to (only half-jokingly) say it's anti-metrosexual behavior but technically Elliott is bi, so,

[dhmis-autism]

what’s the biggest mischaracterisation of each character that you feel like you ‘suffer’ from the most? obviously no disrespect to ppl who do characterise them in certain ways! :] this is just out of curiosity…your thoughts are so intriguing:]

I am so sorry I am about to get so unbelievably bitchy and prissy and fussy. I have thought SO much about this question and I have also SEEN so many interpretations of my boys that I completely disagreed with.  Like you said though, clearly, no disrespect to people who characterize them this way! I know I am a very picky, persnickety bitch.

Anyways. Best boy up first.

 Duck mischaracterizations that I hate:

- him being super effeminate and given like an hourglass figure and human woman legs. like what.

- him being feminine being like, his whole personality. I loathe when people just start writing him like a super twinky, aave spitting gay. It’s really fucking weird can you all be normal about him wearing a dress ONE time please. LIKE HES JUST A NORMAL GUY. OK. GOD

- written as a bitchy or abusive mother/parental figure ( specifically towards YG. why.)

- him being super loud and just constantly spouting verbal/physical abuse at the other two (girl he is much quieter than you remember and he insults them like. twice. in 6 episodes. get real.)

- I hate hate hate when people act like RG is his whole world and have him ignore YG/act like he doesnt exist

- him being written as deliberately manipulating the other two, sometimes even like. physically self-harming in order to do so?? like oh my god. he would NOT fucking do that.

- him being written as totally HATING yellow guy and just constantly acting like hes a burden (I’ll actually kill over this one. how dare you. biting)

- weird thing I’ve noticed where people will make him refer to himself as 'the smart/intelligent one' of the group (something he's never done) but then like. the narrative/author will legitimately treat him like he IS very smart. like. no he is not.

- having him take YGs batteries out of sheer malice / ( ABLEISM(??)) and like. hate.  and somehow forgetting how hard he was freaking out that his friend was different earlier in the episode???????

- him being in a nuclear family situation with red with YG as their "son" . like 1. he is NOT a good dad and would not be a good one. 2. he SAID how he feels about that boy if you cant accept dad dog duo as a dad dog duo you do not deserve them

- writing him as CONSTANTLY ANGRY/PISSED OFF oh it makes me wanna shake people by the shoulders and SCREAM like!! Rewatch the show!! Baker Terry did not give us that bizarre and soft and joyous performance for you to write him like Squidward in a yaoi!!!! I’ll KILL YOU!!!!!!! HE IS AN UPBEAT PESSIMIST!!! A CHEERY DEFEATIST!!!!! I’LL GNAW YOUR BONES TO DUST!!!!

- when people make him skinny. How dare you. How DARE YOU. HOW DARE Y

- when people make him taller than YG. I would be less upset if “the smallest one” wasn’t literally something he was called IN THE SHOW

YG mischaracterizations I hate:

-Him being portrayed as GENUINELY stupid. Yes I know the crew call him that, yes I know other characters call him that, I think it’s obvious they’re exaggerating a bit.

-Him being the only one of the three that’s written as incredibly childish (imo, all three of them are a bit childish- but if you write just YG that way, I roll my eyes)

-Him being incredibly passive and soft and nice and conflict avoidant and a huge big pushover crybaby who never fights back or says anything mean.

-When people make it out like he’s really bad at art/draws like a child- really ticks me off because we are EXPLICITLY SHOWN IN EPISODE 1 OF THE WEBSERIES THAT HE’S GOOD AT ART

-I actually hate when people discount a lot of his talents, ppl acting like he wouldn’t be good at music or art when we KNOW HE IS!!!! WE KNOW HE IS!! WHAteever

-Him being socially inept/inadequate ! He is imo the most socially adept out of the 3 of them and the one most likely to thrive among a new friend group

-When people act like. YG with fresh batteries and YG without them are two separate people/have separate personalities??? They are literally the same dude (my good friend Am has a great post on this actually. Here. Read.learn.)

RG mischaracterizations I hate:

-The idea that he is nice. LOL I’m almost joking, but not really. Verbally, he’s very barby and I WISH more people would remember that genuinely.

-When he’s written as the ONLY voice of reason/ smartest guy in the room. He is not. God help him he is so fucking stupid and goofy and canonically loves Smash Mouth and thinks MAGIC is real.

-Super Hyper Sexy Man with vacuum-sealed abs and a COMPLETELY new personality

I have nothing else for him I don’t think of him often.

[boreal-sea]

Sexism is the belief people assigned female at birth are the inferior sex, and misogyny is directly linked to that because we historically associated being female with being a woman.

Transphobic feminists love to say "The cure for this is FEMINISM, but feminism is ONLY about WOMEN. FEMinism! FEMale! Women are female! Sexism and misogyny ONLY apply to real women who were born female!"

But I'm a trans feminist, and so I'm here to say that feminism is for everybody, sexism and misogyny don't apply just to cis women, and you can change your sex and gender.

The thing is though, that no matter how you define feminism or who you say it is for, sexists and misogynists do not care. They hate:

People who were assigned female at birth

People they perceive as female or as women

People who behave a bit too much like the stereotypes they associate with people who were/are female or were/are women.

This is a big list! It includes literally everyone from trans men to trans women to effeminate gay cis men to cis women to nonbinary people and more. Sexists and misogynists hate a LOT of people - and all of their hatred is rooted in believing female is the lesser sex, and that all females are women.

Therefore, I am begging people to stop screaming about how it's "terfy" for afab trans people to discuss sexism.

You're not only wrong, you are also helping the transphobes, the sexists, the misogynists, and the patriarchy when you do this.

[littleabriel-blog]

Why You Shouldn't Watch Loki S2

With Season 2 of that show making its debut tomorrow, I thought I would make one last ditch effort to convince people not to watch it. It's not just because it's a horrible show that makes a mockery of my favorite Marvel character. There are a lot of problematic elements that contribute to the long list of reasons why people should not give Disney their money or ratings.

I am imploring people, one last time: If you must hate-watch the season, pirate it. If you must watch with some lingering hope that the real Loki will somehow make an appearance (and based on the reviews I have seen, that seems very unlikely), pirate it. Please don't contribute to Disney's ratings. Disney isn't going to care if you're hate watching or if you are only watching it hoping to get a glimpse of the Trickster we all know and love. They only care about numbers, and high ratings might mean we'll get stuck with another season of this utter dreck.

That said, here are some reasons why you should rethink giving this show your views:

It glorifies abuse and torture

In this show we are treated to the sight of Mobius using torture as "therapy", emotionally beating Loki down to the point where he capitulates to the TVA's demands, punishing him for having a crush on someone else by sticking him in a room for hours (at least) with an illusionary Sif who kicks him in the balls and punches him on repeat while further hammering the whole "you'll always be alone, you don't deserve good things" message, and generally working for an organization that subjects Loki to mockery, bullying, sexual assault (being stripped without his consent--that scene wasn't hot. It wasn't sexy. It was horrifying and I really, really have to wonder about the mental state of anyone who is at all turned on by it. Think about it, if Loki were a woman who was being forcibly stripped, there would have been loads of hatemail filling up Disney's servers), and slavery.

That's even before we get into the atrocious way Sylvie treats him. I've gone into how she treats him many, many times, how she belittles, invalidates, silences, and oh yes tries to kill him for daring to ask her to reconsider killing HWR. If the roles were reversed and Loki treated Sylvie like that? You ladies who love the ship so much would be boycotting Disney. It's no less abuse just because it's a woman doing it to a man.

It glorifies fascism

The TVA is very much Nazi coded yet they are framed as heroes...well, except when they're picking on Sylvie of course, since she's all pure and good and can do no wrong (Mary Sue powers activate!) They torture a character who is very much Jewish coded, an effeminate man who is very much the Other in the home he grew up in.

And what the hell is this?

As a Jew, I find this image deeply, deeply disturbing. It's a fucking gas chamber, y'all. It. Is. A . Gas. Chamber.

I don't know how anyone can NOT see how problematic it is.

It has Jonathan Majors in it

I really don't give a flipping shit if they're "only" allegations or if they wrapped up filming before the allegations came out. People boycotted Flash for Ezra Miller doing basically the same thing, so I don't see why it should be any different with Majors.

But then I know from experience that some of you so-called feminists out there are only about protecting or believing women when it suits you. Can't have a little thing like not supporting a domestic abuser get in the way of your wish fulfillment self-insert fantasies of beating the crap out of Loki before fucking him.

The first season was written by a total creep, and that same creep is producing the second season

'Nuff said.

Selfcest/Incest

I don't want to hear how "selfcest doesn't exist", especially in a fictional universe where you have sorcerers, witches, men with super soldier serum running in their veins, magic plants that turn individuals into superstrong Cat People, and talking raccoons.

And even without the selfcest, that ship is a very problematic one, as I stated above, and have continued to talk about at length.

It's just plain awful

The plot is predictable, full of holes, and not even that original (it's cribbed directly from a script Waldron wrote that was so awful, even SyFy wouldn't produce it, plus see my post with the clip from Batman Returns). Loki is grossly OOC in it...seriously, there is not a single hint of the character I had grown to love from Thor 1, Avengers, and the Dark World. He's nerfed all to hell (an Asgardian god who can take on Thor easily is beaten up by human rednecks?), and he's lost all his cunning, wit, intelligence, and grace all in favor of turning him into a sophomoric slapstick clown and the butt of everyone's jokes. The newer characters are poorly mapped out and one dimensional.

It's just...bad.

So there, that's my last ditch attempt to convince people to boycott this piece of shit. I realize my pleas might be falling on deaf ears, much as Loki's pleas fell on Sylvie's, but I had to get it out there.

Other Loki show antis can add to this or elaborate if they want. I'm too tired to be too coherent right now.