#I hate!! how effeminate I am!!

[soullessjack]

lord knows I do not have the capacity to explain it right now but I have so much disdain for how heteronormative and nuclear this fandom is hellbent on making destiel and lord knows I have an even bigger hatred for how jack is used to fuel it.

[atlxolotl]

Transcript and links to Reddit under the Read more:

I miss my husband so goddamn much

February 27th, 2025

I (35M) divorced my husband (36M) three years ago. And God, I miss him. I asked for a divorce for a few reasons, most of which being that his depression got exponentially worse day after day and he refused to seek treatment. Sometimes he wouldn't even go into work and ended up getting fired from his job. I stayed with him for so fucking long, praying that one day he would start trying to get better. It was all I ever wanted, but that day didn't come. I sobbed the entire time signing those papers, and when I handed them to him and asked for a divorce, he just gave me the emptiest, deadest look and signed them without a word. My heart felt like it had been shattered with a hammer, anger and sadness and fear tied together in the world's tightest, ugliest knot and inset deep into my chest.

I put on a brave face for my friends, tried to frame it as shackles coming off and a new beginning, but it was a lie. It just hurt, and it keeps hurting, and it will never stop hurting. He was my soulmate. I'll never love anyone like I loved him. He used to be so sweet and loving, so passionate and happy and every other wonderful thing a man could want from another.

They say each day gets easier, but it isn't for me. It's been three years and I'm still reaching over to the other side of the bed in the morning to pull him close, and it always stings when my hands touch fabric and not his skin. It's been three years and I'm still expecting to see his car in the driveway when I get home from work. It's been three years and my heart isn't any less broken than the day he left.

I've been stalking his socials, I'll admit. He's been getting back to the gym, started meds, and I see him smiling so genuinely in these photos. He looks so incredible. Maybe if I had just waited, he would have changed his mind and went to a doctor like he is now? Or was it me that held him down? Was I making it worse?

I hope not. I wanna go over to his place and just fall into his arms and beg him to take me back. Maybe he's wishing the same thing about me. If there's even a chance I could have my boy back I feel like I should try. I'll never know otherwise.

EDIT: One: I am a homosexual man. My husband is a homosexual man. I am not a woman. Yes, I know I'm effeminate and kind of emotional. Get creative.

Two: my husband was a binge drinker. He refused treatment no matter how much I begged. We got antidepressants but he wouldn't take them. I know he's started meds now because he's posted about them and his 2 yrs sober chip that he got last month.

Three: I never stopped loving him. I never loved him any less. Near the end of our marriage, I started drinking to cope. The second I realized I was, I realized he was dragging me down with him, and I couldn't help him anymore. I didn't dip the second it got hard. Many of you are being kind of rude. I'll accept that I wasn't the perfect husband, nobody is. But claims that I never loved him are just wrong and make me feel sick to my stomach.

EDIT 2: No, I am not the catalyst for this. His depression started when his young brother died terribly and unexpectedly. It's not because he just hated me so much. We were childhood sweethearts and had been together for years when this happened.

[UPDATE] I met my husband that I divorced 3 years ago

March 2nd, 2025

Well, with Reddit's advice, I did it. A few days ago, I called my (35M) ex-husband (36M) whom I divorced after 6 years when he refused to seek treatment for his depression.

I called him later in the evening. It was the first time we'd spoken since a bit of trouble he'd had while he was still drinking 2 1/2 years ago. He picked up on the second ring. Our conversation was a little stilted at first, as to be expected, but he said he was really glad to hear from me. We ended up meeting up for coffee yesterday as so many of you suggested. I'll admit: it was kind of hard to see him, but in a good way? He looked so much better than the last time I had seen him, but he looked exactly like the man I married. He had put off a ton of weight (he gained like 75ish pounds during his struggle with depression, and before some dick says so, I didn't leave him because of his weight gain), he looked way healthier and very put together. I'll just say it: he looked incredibly hot. What made it hard was that I couldn't kiss him hello like I used to. But God, the way his eyes lit up when he saw me, I barely needed to.

We got our coffee and sat, and he updated me a little on his life in the last 3 years.

What really turned his life around was in part the divorce but moreso a DUI (nobody was hurt, he was caught a few blocks from his apartment). He's since gone to rehab and AA, gotten his license back, and had to use a breathalyzer whenever he started his car for a while. He hasn't had a drop of alcohol since and I told him I was so fucking proud of him. He's also started antidepressants, and made a point of telling me that they're not SSRIs, but when I asked what that meant he got embarrassed and told me nevermind (???). Bottom line is that they've been helping him, he's back to being a gym rat, and he's almost completely turned his life around. This was around the point I started tearing up. It just felt so good knowing he was okay. Better than okay, he was *good*.

I also apologized to him for not sticking by him. He cut me off and said I had nothing to apologize for. He was a wreck, and I was being dragged down with him. That also felt good to hear. I apologized for not contacting him much during the last 3 years. That apology, he accepted.

He was dating someone for a few months, too. He broke up with him once he tried to get him to drink on New Year's. He seemed dismissive of the guy. Guess it wasn't too serious.

We got up and went on a walk after a few hours, and I think we both realized it felt like a first date. I had to stop myself from trying to hold his hand at a few points, I'll admit. We ended up sitting on a bench in a nearby park, and I confessed.

I told him I missed him more than anything, how I never stopped loving him, and how if he wanted to, I'd love to try again from the beginning this time. We'd go to couples' therapy, keep our heads above the water, and take it slow. He was quiet for a minute before he told me something. He said he was doing better now, but there may be a time where he sunk low again. Depression isn't easily cured, and he was far from cured. He still had bad days, but he said there would be one difference: he promised he would never stop trying to improve. He was never going to give up like he did before, and refused to neglect me like he used to. If I was willing to accept that truth, he was willing to try again. I agreed, and he pulled me into an embrace and snuck a kiss to my temple. You know when it's the first warm day of spring after a cold, harsh winter, and the soft breeze and basking sun hit your skin at the same time? It felt something like that, to the 1000th degree. After a while he walked me back to my car and squeezed my hand goodbye, and the second I got inside I started sobbing like a baby. Happy tears, though.

I'm currently sitting in bed, kicking my feet like a teenage girl, texting him back and forth to schedule an actual date. He said he'd plan everything, and try his best to make up for the birthdays and anniversaries he missed. He said it would "knock my socks off." What a dork. I love being in love. Not gonna lie, this is gonna be a bit hard to explain to my friends and family. Not looking forward to those conversations, but right now I don't care. My man loves me.

Thank you to everyone who had kind words to say, and all the people that messaged me with sympathy and advice. I hope we all find happiness, and love if we want it. I never would have made the leap if y'all hadn't encouraged me. Best of luck to all of you, and sorry for the overly flowery language <3

EDIT: we've scheduled a date for tomorrow evening. I'll let people know how it went two days from now in my final (unless something big happens) update.

EDIT 2: at his place presently. Shame me not, reddit.

[FINAL UPDATE] I went on a date with my ex-husband last night

March 5th, 2025

My (35M) ex-husband (36M) and I recently reconnected. I won't go over the details of why we split or our reconciliation since I'm sure the average redditor can click buttons and most likely read. He was the one taking me out, and promised that it would, in his words, "knock my socks off" to make up for his neglect of me. He sure as hell delivered.

A little backstory, we've been together since we were 15 and 16 respectively, and have never moved out of our hometown. This year would have been our 20th anniversary (of getting together, not marriage). We were dating secretly for about five years before our parents caught us one day during summer break. The fallout from finding out their son was gay actually made his parents split. His dad wanted to send him away to conversion therapy. He's seen his father maybe once per year on average, and every time he's incredibly cold towards me. Would never refer to me as his son-in-law, only my husband's "pal." I wonder why. Anyway, not what you're here to read. I'll get on with the lore.

He picked me up from the house and wouldn't tell me where we were going, but told me to dress warmly. He ended up taking me to the place where we met: a run down ice skating rink in our town. He used to do hockey, and I spent some time trying to learn figure skating until people started beating me up for it. Both sports would practice at the same time and I remember barely being able to keep my eyes off him. We went skating, I tried to pull off a few of the moves I remembered (he only had to catch me from falling on my ass once or twice, and I won't complain about an attractive man that I love hooking his arm around my waist), and we spent an hour or so there until our feet hurt. At one point I said that my face was getting cold, so he skated around in front of me and placed his gloved hands on my cheeks to warm me up. I just about burned a hole in the ice from how hard I was blushing, I swear to God.

He wasn't done then. We left and went to dinner, specifically the restaurant where we had our first date. It's a cheap hole-in-the-wall place, seeing as we were poor teenagers when we first met. We chatted and ate food that probably took 5 years off our lives, he was an incorrigible flirt, and even held my hand underneath the table like he did all those years ago. I know I said I never stopped loving him, and I stand by that, but I think I somehow fell in love with him a thousand times over again during that meal.

At the end of dinner, he asked if I had energy for one more simple thing, to which I agreed. He took me a while out of town to a dark sky zone park, specifically the one where he proposed to me ten years ago. He set out a blanket to sit on and another to cuddle under, and we went stargazing all bundled up together. You never know how much you miss the sound of someone's heartbeat until you haven't heard it for so long. We shared a bottle of sparkling grape juice in plastic champagne flutes and dumb, giggly kisses. It felt so similar yet so different. He told me in a moment of quiet that he loved me, and oh, God. It took everything I had not to cry. I barely hesitated before asking if he wanted to change venues. He seemed surprised, but eagerly accepted.

I ended up at his place, as some of you may have seen from my edit on my second post yesterday. I wanted to take it slower than this, but it was so hard to. I was so starved of affection and hadn't been intimate with anyone for just about six years. I'm gonna keep what happened at his between us, but all I'll say is that his medication was no issue and all of you should be jealous. I woke up in his bed this morning, reached over for him, and pulled him close just like I used to do. I haven't been this happy in a long time. We had a sleepy discussion and decided to get back together, but we're not using the term boyfriends. It just feels weird after all this time. So he's my partner, or my lover. He's mine.

Thank you, reddit. Wouldn't have done it without a little push from the internet. Let's see where all this goes.

[punk-sharkz-zero]

i hate talking about dysphoria with cis ppl because they immediately clock it as body dysmorphia, and only as body dysmorphia. (i say only bc some trans ppl can and do experience both)

i can't talk about how i hate how my thighs make me feel/look feminine because they always say "but you look fine!" or "i think you look amazing!" or "but you should love them!"

and it's so hard to describe dysphoria, especially to ppl who don't experience it, or who don't want to understand it isn't dysmorphia

and no matter how hard you try to explain they always try to make you love this body you have because "you should love yourself as you are!"

but i do love myself. but not quite exactly how i am. i love what i know I can be. i love knowing that one day i'll have top surgery scars i can trace with my fingers and a scratchy beard from T. i love knowing that I can eventually do my silly little effeminate gestures without hating how it makes me look. i love knowing that eventually i can look in a mirror and grin at the man i've become.

but that's not right now. i may cry a little when a shirt doesn't fit the way it should, but i don't hate the body that makes it that way. I may feel a pit in my stomach when I realize the way that i'm standing makes me look girly, but i don't hate that i'm standing that way.

i don't hate that i used to be a girl but i hate when people still think i am.

i don't hate my body, i just hate how it isn't what it's supposed to be quite yet. could that make any sense to the cis folks reading this?

I am trans and I love my body, just sometimes it doesn't love me back. and one day it will.

[respectthepetty]

I know you think having a gf thing is a joke and honestly I don't think it's a problem when bl actors have gfs or bfs, but they do get massive hate for that for real. do you know that new got so much hate for having a girlfriend? he still gets hate comments from toxic shippers that he should die for heart failure because he got heart problem? and that account that was hating on dunk was really pushing for hate. so of course it was the problem. the number one reason bl/gl actors get massive hate and death threats is literally having a gf/bf. it's a sad reality but i don't think you should treat it lightly.

I don't think this situation is a joke.

It -is- a joke.

And to show you how serious I am about this, I'm not even going to include images. This is just a giant wall of text.

Because outside of the BL-sphere, what are the repercussions of Dunk really dating a girl? What issues would he face if he was really straight? I'm going to skip over bisexuality because Lord knows half these fans don't even register that as a thing. So what harm would come his way if he was an actual heterosexual man?

Nothing. None. Nada.

If he was dating a girl, it would hurt his branded pair, but he could pivot. He could still work in other roles outside of the pair which he has done because being straight or being perceived straight isn't an issue. He would still have a job. He could even do something else outside of the industry. He'd be fine.

Because the issue isn't Dunk having a girlfriend. The issue is him stepping out on his branded pair because people are real weird about monogamy, especially when it comes to two boys because queerness actual queer people are scary to them.

So since you wanted to start with Tay and New, let me remind you that New get threats for having a girlfriend, but when Gun and Tay kissed during New's live, people went out of their way to call Gun, who is perceived as the more effeminate one, a straight up fag in the comments of his posts. Tay also got so much hate that he made a video and people's biggest issue was how could he go from such a masculine guy like New to such a twink like Gun who has never stated his sexuality. Because the issue wasn't Tay 'cheating' on his partner (with the partner literally being right next to him), but was the possibility of Tay kissing an actual gay guy.

Milk of MilkLove was rumored to be dating Noeul of BossNoeul and both of them received online hate at the mere thought they were breaking up their ships, but Noeul has received far more online and in-person hate once he started dressing and presenting a bit more effeminate than previously.

Freen of BeckyFreen was dating Seng formerly of BillySeng. The hate was ridiculous and it has followed Seng even after he departed from Idol Factory, which can easily be seen in the comment section of his posts. I genuinely feel bad for the boy, yet he still is working.

So you know who I do feel bad for all of the time? Publicly out queer folks in this industry!

Max of MaxTul dates women. People knew that and hated it because he was 'cheating' on Tul. But he still had work, and he still has work now. Because being straight does not harm people. Online hate is real. Cyberbullying is real. But Max could pivot if he wanted to like Nanon, Bright, and Win. But you know who never said he was dating anyone? The actual gay guy, Tul! And who retired from acting before he announced he was dating a man? Tul.

Cooheart has gone on record stating that being an openly gay man in the BL industry has severely limited his options. He will not be able to play a straight character because people know he is gay, so the online harassment he receives isn't because of not being faithful to a branded pair, but because he is actually gay, and that harassment has translated into him getting less jobs. He cannot pivot. He is essentially stuck.

When Supanut was hanging out with Sailub, he received more online and in-person harassment because he is the openly queer man. Sailub received comments that he was disrespecting Pon per the usual, but Supanut received comments that were directed not at him just trying to break up a ship, but about him being queer. People were equivocating him to being basically a gay hussy, who just wanted to wreck all the ships, which makes me very interested in what fan interactions will look like once I'm the Most Beautiful Count airs.

Daou gets lots of comments about disrespecting Offroad by hanging out with other guys, but the comments that really upset him were the ones saying HE WAS DISGUSTING FOR POSSIBLY BOTTOMING! Offroad stays quiet mostly, but he was bothered by people saying he was BULKING UP TOO MUCH AS A QUEER MAN!

I'm not even touching Mew and Gulf, but only one of them was labeled a predator and it wasn't the straight one!

So just because some of y'all want to take Joong liking a post about Dunk having a girlfriend seriously does not mean I need to. The online harassment is disgusting because people have parasocial relationships with actors who are simply doing their jobs, but I am not going to sit here on Tumblr dot com slash Respect the Petty and entertain this made up drama that stemmed from Joong liking a post about Dunk being perceived as a straight guy when openly gay people are being significantly more harassed, targeted, and limited for being gay in an industry that profits off of gayness.

Take all this energy you have for me and meet me in the My Sweetheart Jom chat on Friday, so every time someone mentions how Saint isn't believable in his role because he is a 'bottom,' you can give them the same lecture you want to give me about the seriousness of online harassment and its real-world repercussions.

Kay? Okay!

[cryingprincess13]

Okey, it’s gonna be an absolute shit take, and I’m probably gonna delete it, but I feel the urge to share it with someone who’s not just a wall in my room. And because I have no idea how to use Reddit, here we are.

Am I the only one who’s kinda worried about this new way of “this person is definitely trans” headcanons? Just to make it clear: I’m not transphobic or anything, so if you find something I’m gonna say offensive, I’m already sorry.

I think I need an example to make my point clear, and it’s gonna be the Arcane fandom.

As I said, I don’t hate when someone headcanons their faves as trans. I headcanon some myself. But this tendency I’m gonna talk about just looks so weird to me.

It seems like Arcane fans headcanon as trans only those characters who don’t fit into beauty standards for their gender.

For example, Viktor and Silco—two of the most popular guys among these headcanons. We can see Viktor’s big bulge in one of the episodes, but apparently, for lots of people, his complete loss of any genitals meant, “Well, now that he has no dick, he’s 100% trans!”. Just joking. The reason is definitely his body build.

Same thing with Silco—he’s not as muscular as Vander, and here we gooo. (Esp after I saw that all thc appeared only after episode when he has long hair.) Sevika as well, because if she’s really tall and really muscular, that means she’s trans. Why not, lmao.

I don’t mind any head-canons as long as they not just bunch of stereotypes and don’t sound like:

“This effeminate boy dresses up as a girl? That's a closeted trans girl!"

To assume my whole point. It’s just seems to me like people hc as trans only characters that don’t fit in some imaginative beauty frameworks for their gender. And honestly when 90% of this hc in fanfics are just Silco n Vik being p-ssyboys…. It’s just seems like some sort of new fetish or “gender switching! mlm ship to straight ship” stuff. Sorry not sorry.

Basically I do have /my/ personal little beef with people who headcanon certain characters as trans only bc of stereotypes. And I do have a big problem with people who use trans head canons as way to sneak “p-ssyboy” tag into their fics.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for calling out someone for being manipulative towards a trans friend? Names have been changed for privacy reasons and TLDR at the end because this is long.

I (24f) am cis but have had a lot of trans friends (binary, nonbinary, and neopronoun) throughout the years and am very supportive so i take this very seriously. So I met this girl my first year in college (we were 18 at the time) and we became friends. We're polar opposites, she talks a lot and I don't, she parties a lot and I like to do more sophisticated things, she's a typical extrovert basically, and I'm more introverted. Anne (24f) was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I don't know when, she just told me this years ago. I've seen tiktoks about bpd and researched Google about bpd a little so I know all about how they have fave persons and will "mimic" people in the friend group and become clingy, manipulate, etc. I've seen pics of her in high school, noticed that she was a theater kid, she said she was good at acting and even said she thinks her bpd helped with her acting although I'm not sure how, but she said she only joined the theater club because a boy she had a crush on was in theater. That should've been my first red flag but I was naive. She has a degree in something else (not theater) because our second year in college her favorite character in a TV show did a certain job, she got interested in that, and now she also does that as a living. She doesn't talk about her bpd, she's only mentioned it a handful of times. I can count on one hand how many times. And I get it because she said someone once told her people with bpd should be sterilized and not be allowed near children. Which is really messed up and I hate that someone said that.

However on with the situation. One of our friends Mike (25m) is a trans man. We met him four years ago. He's very handsome, broody, introverted, intelligent, great listener, very accepting and understanding, similar to me but opposite to her. Now we didn't know he was trans until two years ago, because I asked him on a date and he turned me down, and when I asked why he told me that he was mostly T4T and only viewed me as a friend. We were like woah you're trans, okay that's cool, etc. He explained that he was lucky enough to get on puberty blockers and transition young etc which is why he passes. I said okay I'm not trans and you're mostly T4T fair enough.

Well last year Anne suddenly tells us that she is trans too. She says she's bigender. She says she is okay with either she her or he him because she feels like a man and a woman at the same time. Some days she's a woman, some days she's a man, and some days she's both, according to her. She says she does not like they them pronouns. Suddenly her and Mike are spending all this extra time together. Last month he confided in me that he thinks he's in love with her, after years of him only seeing her as a friend, and then they started officially dating.

Here's the problem: she has not changed her outward appearance, her name, started any kind of medical stuff, joined any groups, bought a binder etc. We all continue to call her she and her because she fully presents as female and doesn't have a problem with it. Also she's very effeminate in body language, the way she talks, etc. I know technically I could call her a he or a him, too, but she never asks me to or corrects people when they call her she because well technically she is a she too. Mike is the only one who uses he and him pronouns with her as often as she and her, but she has never thanked him. It really feels like she's saying she's trans and then going about her life exactly as a cis woman simply to convince Mike to date her.

First off, Anne and Mike are NOT compatible. She likes to party, smoke weed, talks a lot, I'm not sure how she graduated with such good grades or why she does so well in her job because she is honestly a LOT to handle and I'm saying that as nice as possible. Mike would never touch weed or go to clubs and he says he would be fine staying home while she does those things but how could you trust someone to party while high and not hook up with others? I've seen her make out with five people in one night at a frat party. They also had wildly different childhoods, such as she grew up in a conservative community and doesn't speak to her family, and he grew up in a liberal area and is close with his family. But more importantly she has a history of joining theater because she had a crush on someone in theater (plus she admits she is good at acting, so maybe she is acting now?) and getting a degree and job in a field because a favorite fictional character did that and now this? It feels like she was attracted to him, found out he usually dates other trans people, and found a way to continue being cis but claim to be trans without having to do anything trans related, basically mimicing her favorite person. As soon as they met they hit it off, or should I say she clung to him and pretended to have the same likes and dislikes whenever they were alone I assume.

It sounds terrible I know, which is why I discussed this with a group chat first that neither of them are in, and the group chat not only agreed that she is far too "obnoxious" for him (those were NOT my words!) but that she is faking being trans in an attempt to make him fall in love with her (which seems to be working.) I would NEVER have gone further without making sure with them first. So then a few of the people in my group chat and I held an intervention with Anne alone. The six of us (the others don't live close enough to come) met up with Anne at her place and told her what she was doing was wrong and gross and that she needed to get help for her bpd and to stop catfishing Mike. She didn't take well to what was said, which I anticipated, but she went crazy. She was screaming at us, insulting us, sobbing while yelling etc, literally said if we ever contacted her again she would call the cops, so we left.

I immediately called Mike before she could and asked him to meet me at a restaurant nearby and that it was very important. Since Mike doesn't know anyone in the group chat I went alone and I explained EVERYTHING before she could gaslight and manipulate him even further. He left, did not finish or pay for his food. I messaged him several times, but a few hours later he texted me to never to speak to him again, and then blocked me on everything. I showed up to his house and Anne was there. Mike said if I ever contacted him again he would get a restraining order on me so I left. I've discussed this with the group chat and now suddenly half of them changed their mind and don't want to talk about it anymore. Several of them left the group chat. Not only that but several of my friends who know either Mike or Anne or both have blocked me on everything. When I've tried to contact these friends through other means and explain everything, they either didn't respond or said for me never to contact them again because I was being transphobic. Listen I know under NORMAL circumstances you shouldn't question when someone comes out but this is NOT a normal situation, and now I am concerned Anne is unsafe for Mike but also an unsafe person to know, as she literally is trying to destroy my life because I called her out on some seriously messed up and abusive behavior.

TLDR am I the asshole for trying to protect my trans friend from a potential stalker?

What are these acronyms?

[captainofthedefiant]

one fascinating thing i notice in starsky and hutch fanfic (usually older ones) is this distinct desire to talk in circles around being gay vs not being gay. “im not gay i just love you and want to be with you” and not really working through that feeling to come to a comfort with their sexuality, labels or not.

one of many reasons I love flamingo’s “total eclipse of the heart” (and per the story’s fanlore page it seems like this was the author’s explicit goal with their story, as a queer person themselves (Unsure about this part so apologies if this is not true!)). this story is unabashedly queer and it involves all the uncertainty of understanding one’s own sexuality after denying it, in addition to the broader plot of a dub-con experience (which is also done fantastically). i also am extremely in love w queer stories/history in general from this time so i really just enjoyed how vivid it was

i wonder if there is a divide between queer people, who know that you must eventually work through the feelings of self loathing or self judgement for being “different” (speaking from my own experience) vs straight people who think, oh you can just be gay while still kind of hating being gay, and that would somehow result in a happy ending. I know there are plenty of people who don’t ever lose the discomfort, or are socialized to feel it, etc. but i find it to be trite the more i see it in fanfic. I find it to represent an unconscious mission statement of inherent discomfort with sexuality - which of course for the time makes sense

but back to the show/its fanfic, I imagine this common dismissal of sexuality comes from a) the time period and b) the fandom building on its roots, which are stuck down in that origin of inherent discomfort with being gay that stems from the era. And then I think this dynamic just becomes fanon when it’s written so much.

this is why I have also loved a few fanfics I’ve read where it’s starsky who is more comfortable with his sexuality than hutch is. poor hutch gets to suffer from fanonization unfortunately because he “looks more gay” than starsky does (typical stereotype of well mannered, likes music and cooking, well groomed, “pretty”), though tbh i don’t see much of a clear divide that would lead to what the modern reader would call “top/bottom discourse”, lol. Which I think would be fairly progressive (aka not leaning on- effeminate man bottoms, masculine man tops, no exceptions for character).

as an aside, even paul glaser himself in an interview said something like, we’re all a little homoerotic or we’re all a little attracted to the same sex (I think anyway. It could have also been David soul who said this. Me “which one are you”-ing them irl), and this to me is also such a product of discomfort with sexuality because I remember thinking “no no EVERYBODY likes girls a little” when I was still coming to terms with my own sexuality. You just wanna slap yourself with a wet fish and say “no, you’re just bisexual”.

did I write this entire post just to gush about “total eclipse” being THE s/h fanfic of all time? And then get wildly off track? Only kind of.

[burningcheese-merchant]

Hey Merchant! Brand new to the blog and I love it, but I was wondering your opinion on something. I’ve been noticing recently (especially on TikTok) people coming to a compromise in defending ShadowVanilla but/by antagonizing BurningCheese. They’ll say stuff like “SV has nuance but BC is just toxic” and while I can see that in a way, it doesn’t sit right with me. Again, just wondering how you feel about that (No hate to those people from me though).

Hypocrites. They're stupid, annoying hypocrites. Plain and simple. There's nothing to see except for that. It doesn't sit right because the chair is fucking busted dude, it's got 3 legs and two of them got mauled by termites and the rest got cobbled together by Patrick Star

If Golden Cheese was a man, BurningCheese would be just as popular as ShadowVanilla. It would have mountains of fanart on this dumb website and it would have a million fics on AO3 (400 and counting vs 40, yes I am bitter and disappointed, I'm only one person and there are only so many hours in a day I can't bridge that gap alone) and it would have hordes of dumb, horny fujos running interference for it 24/7 just like ShadowVanilla does. (And I specify GC being a man and not BS being a woman because let's all be real. Nobody cares about f/f ships. M/f and f/f are and will always be overshadowed by m/m whether any of us like it or not.) If they actually bothered to pay attention to the game, and to GC's and BS's characters and how they intertwine/compare/contrast, then they would see that their dynamic has equal weight and value. But they don't. And you know what? At least half of them didn't recognize the weight and value of ShadowVanilla, either, until episode 7 and 8 came out and the concept was directly spoonfed to them by the narrative. The OG ShadowVanilla fans went from rarepair hell to having their ship borderline gentrified, that's a whole separate tragedy honestly

You know what's blinding those people to BurningCheese? You know the truth? I'm going to explain better.

Burning Spice is a man and Golden Cheese is a woman. That automatically sets it back in the eyes of a lot of morons online. Hetero pairs bad. Also, BS hurt GC in the story, which is his literal job as a villain and all the Beasts do this, therefore misogyny abuse toxic blah blah blah. GC fought back and kicked his ass and never once tolerated any of his behavior but that doesn't matter I guess. Shadow Milk psychologically tortured Pure Vanilla and essentially mutilated him mentally/spiritually and turned him into a husk (Truthless Recluse). But that doesn't matter because gay = get out of jail free, also there's probably a dose of "lol men can't be abused or mistreated and anything bad that happens to a man is hot and/or deserved" underlining some people's thoughts let's not kid ourselves

Burning Spice is not a Tumblr Sexyman and Shadow Milk is. Shadow Milk is thin and nerdy and has multicolored hair and dresses like a literal and figurative clown and is kind of effeminate and is basically the final boss of all theater kids and is dramatic and charmingly evil and is confirmed to be about as physically tough as cooked pasta. Burning Spice is built like a brick shithouse and has to bend down to fit through a doorway and speaks in a rumbling baritone and is the "wrong" kind of evil (he is not suave or charming, he is all out bloodthirsty with zero dramatics or window dressing of any kind). Burning Spice is a traditionally masculine man and Shadow Milk is not. And the Tumblr I always thought I knew never liked men like BS, they like men like SM, and so far no one has done anything to prove me wrong. Tumblr Sexymen can do whatever they want and always be praised, regular sexy men can do the exact same shit and be condemned as toxic and abusive because they're perceived as threatening while Tumblr Sexymen are not

Burning Spice and Golden Cheese are not white/based on non-white cultures. They're both very dark-skinned, at that. Yes they are cookies not humans, but come the fuck on Burning Spice is literally Shiva but red instead of blue, certain cookies are obviously supposed to be certain races/ethnicities deal with it!! Skinny white boys have always been what Tumblr and TikTok girlies want, it's always been this way and always will be. Go look at the top pairings on AO3, 99% is yaoi with white dudes. (No you are not racist if you don't like BurningCheese, not liking a ship is not racist good Lord. Racism is a little bigger than that. I'm just pointing out a pattern)

I will say it until I'm as blue in the face as Shadow Milk is, I LOVE ShadowVanilla. I really do. I love them individually as characters and together as a pair, I love all the beautiful fanart, I love everyone's analyses of them, I love all the fantastic fics written by fantastic authors I will never in my fucking life measure up to I don't even know why I bother at this point, I do I do I do. But I am SICK of the hypocrisy. SICK OF IT. I am SICK of BurningCheese getting maligned while ShadowVanilla is celebrated in the same fucking breath. Look me in the eye and tell me SM is any fucking better than BS. Look me in the eye and tell me you'd still like ShadowVanilla if PV was a woman, instead of screeching about misogyny and abuse. I accept and love both ships for what they are and what they can be. If someone can't do that for whatever reason then fine, that's nobody's problem but theirs, it's shipping it doesn't actually matter do what you want, but don't try looking down your nose at others because "Fallen Hero/Heinous Villain Being Canonically Attracted To/Obsessed With Their Heroic Counterpart/Narrative Foil, Whom They Cannot Live Without Because They Are Actual, Literal Soulmates" is better than "Fallen Hero/Heinous Villain Being Canonically Attracted To/Obsessed With Their Heroic Counterpart/Narrative Foil, Whom They Cannot Live Without Because They Are Actual, Literal Soulmates" because ❓❓❓❓❓❓❓

I'm sorry Anon, I'm not mad at you. I'm happy to hear from you, I'm happy you took the time to reach out to me, I'm happy you like my blog and I hope you stay. I'll just be honest, I'm dealing with something genuinely awful in real life right now and I am not ok. I'm really not ok. I needed to yell at something stupid and ridiculous so I could pretend I'm not the utterly powerless creature I actually am, if only for a moment. I saw a punching bag in the shape of your ask and I started swinging. Worst part is I don't even feel any better, but I already typed all of this out so I might as well keep it

TL;DR: TikTok -> OPINION DISCARDED

[genderqueerdykes]

something that ive noticed a lot as a trans man and yet dont see talked about nearly enough is queer hatred of masculinity/obsession with femininity (which also connects to radical feminism and all)

why are there more nonbinary afabs than amabs? because queer people are "encouraged" to lean towards more feminine labels (so afab trans men are pushed towards id'ing as nonbinary, and amab nonbinaries are pushed towards id'ing as trans woman)

why are trans women expected to physically transition more than trans men? because you cant risk looking like an "evil man" of course! so you have to be as feminine as possible! this goes for both trans woman and trans men

why are gay men stereotyped as effeminate, why are masc lesbians looked down upon? it all comes back to hatred of masculinity

(and on a more minor note, ive noticed a rise in trending queer songs all being generally like "everyone wants to be a woman" "a gross MAN will never be enough for women" which is... a little weird to me?)

i myself am a fem trans man, i love being fem, but its weird asf that we've normalized such an intense hatred of masculinity. i feel really bad for my more masculine trans brothers (and my more masculine trans sisters, for that matter!). i genuinely think this is one of the major inner issues of the queer community and if we want to grow stronger and have less infighting we NEED to stop hating masculinity

thank you so much for taking the time to send this, this is very well thought out and exactly what's happening right now. thank you for taking the time to highlight the main issue.

there is a queer obsession with femininity, yes. i see it a lot. femininity is prioritized over everything else to a dangerous degree.

people claim to love transfems and then do this- which as you said, forces them to come out and transition as fast as possible because no one wants ""Scary evil men"" in their community. it's sickening. i've seen so many transfems admit that life sucked for them while they were questioning because they didn't feel welcome in queer spaces at all. some have decided to never identify as a trans woman because of this and it sucks

there are also masculine trans women and trans women who never want to pass or don't try to (or may just never end up being able to pass at all). i feel like people are unnecessarily cruel about transfems and passing, as if that needed to happen within our own walls, too. like people are so fucking terrible to trans women who don't or can't or don't try to pass. why do we force trans women to feel obligated to pass perfectly within our own walls in order to accept them? if transfems aren't super feminine and don't pass very well, they're treated like shit. no, not everyone at the meeting in a polo and slacks is a man. sometimes that's a trans woman who's butch. sometimes that's a trans woman who's passing as a man for safety.

people seriously need to understand how bad this behavior affects transfems & trans women. intersex people as well.

i love being a fem man as well, however, i also love being a gay bear. i am a feminine bear. the thing is, is people don't realize that masculinity can be feminine, too, and vice versa. not all fems are just fem. some are also masc and butch. so many people have gotten suckered into rad feminism that they spread the lie that queerness is feminine and woman based only. masc queers are still queer. we don't need this feminine/woman superiority shit. we don't need one gender or presentation to be "superior". that's not how equality works

[strawberryraviegutz]

Why are yall being so weird about Pavlova Cookie being a boy??? Oh boohoo the new character isn’t a girl meaning that yall are gonna push the narrative that this automatically means this update isn’t for the girls/lesbians/sapphics(which isn’t true)…It rlly is not that serious. You’ll live.

Yall are weird af for ganging up on a little boy for Turing out to be “a man” cuz men bad am I right?/sar(I think he’s a kid tho feel free to correct me. He seems like a kid skin to milkyway cookie. Or maybe he’s like silver bell cookie where he’s just an adult with a high voice.)

Plus he’s quite literally based off of Cupid/Eros of course he’s gonna be a male and yes I know female characters can be based off of him too but still.

How can yall claim to be progressive/pro lgbtqa+ while in the same breath start shitting ur pants along with being transphobic when there are effeminate male characters make it make sense???💀💀

“He/Him lesbian” men can’t be lesbians wtf are yall on???(I mean actual men btw I’m not talking about non men who just have he/him pronouns)

Yall are also hella fake being eternal sugar fans but hating and misgendering one of her minions that she clearly cares for a lot just for being a boy like lmao she would NOT FUCK WITH YOU AT ALL😂😂😂😂😂

(Edit: it has been brought to my attention that some ppl could interpret some of what I’m saying as possibly transphobic despite my clarification in the post so here’s an even more detailed one. When I was saying that men can’t be lesbians I was specifically talking about cis men and or ppl who identify as a man only. I was NOT talking about enbies, genderfluid ppl, bigender ppl, agender ppl, or non men in general. I hope that does clear things up a bit. I apologize for my poor choice of words and or coming off as insensitive)

Edit 2: Looks like I was wrong about eternal sugar caring for Pavlova Cookie due to his wish in the tree of wishes about wanting to be free and some other lines too. Either way yall are still hella weird and fake af for being eternal sugar fans and still hating and or being transphobic towards Pavlova cookie just because he’s a boy

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

Despite Both Being Toxic Figures, I Am More Worried About Those Who Relate To Stolas Than Bojack

The reason I worry more about Stolas' fans relating to him is because of the fact he's more openly soft and effeminate than Bojack thus people underestimate him as a predatory scumbag and don't think he's as bad. While Bojack shows he has a vulnerable side, he fits more of a traditional masculine build where people will call him out more for it in comparison with Stolas where people will say bs that a "bottom" like him can't be abusive or a pos. But as Ricky and Morty stated:

And that's why I really am concerned to people who look up to Stolas because it could enable a lot of toxic traits found in them. While Bojack is someone who meant to be written as such, Stolas is an unintentionally written toxic predator because his writers don't perceive him as that and endorse his more abusive traits. Unlike in Bojack where the lessons are he has to take responsibility and not rely on his past to justify or excuse his behavior, the narrative does that for Stolas from making his wife abusive to avoid taking him to task for cheating on her to now having Octavia being mad at him taking meds so that it makes her look like a prick for choosing to cut ties with him. Also notable in his relationship with Blitzo despite making a grand gesture out of tring to win his love he still thinks he's entitled to a relationship and is ignorant about how bigoted he is towards his kind and his social status. Frankly, where he is now with Blitzo he's already shown he's leaching onto his kindness and taking him for granted but is not called out by the narrative or fanbase.

I do think another thing that really worries me about the harm that Stolas fans could find in relating in him is the victim complex narrative. I am saying that the Stolas narrative of him being a victim of abuse is used to justify his own abuse towards Blitzo and neglect towards his daughter. This is in contrast with Bojack that never lets him off the hook for being abusive towards other people just because he himself had a hard life. Having an excuse of being abused doesn't absolve you are hurting others and it hurts even more when the narrative tries to "both side" or "treat the other party as wrong" when someone points it out. The guy only pities himself but never is made to reflect on his actions and have empathy for the people around him. The narrative expects him not to really have long lasting conseuences to his shittty behavior like Bojack but instead eventually get rewarded for it like the entitled pos he is. The gives the message that as long as you can cry about how you are the victim you can get what you want and not have face the fact you brought this on yourself.

With Bojack there is an encouragement to change, while Stolas there is a message stay shitty self while everyone around accommodates you. Stolas isn't encouraged at all to stop treating people like crap just because of the issues that Goetia life foisted on him but instead have everyone else do the heavy lifting. The show has an idea of Stolas being wrong, but doesn't go through with it because of his creator's pet status. They treat his shittiness like it's a quirk little aspect rather than how it should make him justifiably hated by others. They treat him like he's has the worst life out of all the characters while not being sympathetic to anyone else's circumstances but his. He is essentially what the show condemns Bojack for doing, but is going to continue to be rewarded because it's deluded he's just some sad boy whose only crime he loves too much.

[elias-rights]

I'm a tma lover/hater and huuuge fan of your blog, I'd love to hear your takes on the fanon characterization/designs of the archive crew and why you hate them, cause they drive me up a wall every time I see them

TMA lover/hater is a great way to call it. I'm going to be saying this from now on.

I don't remember the last time I talked about fanon designs, but basically:

They are at work for most of the podcast. I get why they might get more lax with what they wear to work after it all starts to unravel, but Tim* isn't going to be wearing Hawaiian shirts from S1. (*who is a professional! He is meticulous about work and not, say, a himbo.)

They are employed adults in a realistic world (supernatural elements aside). Melanie I could see having a more alternative fashion since her line of work originally wasn't academic, but that's about it.

Elias. Elias Elias Elias. It's the most inaccurate fanon design out there. Why is this man, canonically described as "austere" and the Head of an Institute that subsists on donations, dressed like the Onceler. Why do you make him significantly more flamboyant than the rest of the cast (who are better people). Do you seriously not realise why Disney villains being way more effeminate than the heroes is a problematic trope? And don't you think this careful man who does not draw attention to himself, and plays the part of the boring bureaucrat, wouldn't wear flashy suits and eye-shaped jewellery (which could only garner him reactions of ??? even before any secrets came out)? I have a few posts about fandom homophobia and fanon Elias but it honestly drives me up the wall.

On the subject of homophobia, why is Daisy, one of the most physically violent and monstrous female characters, drawn as butch? Especially considering (as a post not by me that I'll reblog after I finish this) that she canonically chooses to call herself Daisy because of its soft femininity and how it contradicts her violence. It really does seem like the mental arithmetic is violent + female = butch.

This isn't Problematic but more so something that I disagree with: I just don't see Peter as a stereotypical old-timey sea captain. He projects salesman energy. He is the cold depersonalisation of capitalism in human form (not Elias). He wears suits and is clean-shaven. To me.

Michael is not an arcade carpet. He thrives on being subtly... off. Seeming off in reflections, on second glance, out of the corner of your eye. I have always associated him with sickly browns and yellows. But I'm starting to think the TMA fandom does not understand subtlety.

Jon is mostly fine in my book, but I am a bit uneasy about the correlation between the universal headcanon of him as brown and how infantilised and dehumanised he is by some of the fandom. I'd be interested to hear actual nonwhite people's thoughts on the matter.

[dolls-self-ships]

related to my last post (on Ford's sexuality/romantic orientation)

ok, this is going to sound really stupid so please, bare in mind that I am aware that this is a fictional character and he isn't real and even alex hirsch himself said that anyway a fan might resonate with a character can be true to them. With that being said, I personally don't love the headcanon that Ford is gay. I myself am aroace, and a lot of what he seems to experience in terms of romantic relationships and his feelings on them seem to align more with my own and lots of other aroace people that I know. And idk why but fandoms and esp just the lgbtq community in general seem to be really dismissive of aroace people (some don't even consider us queer but thats another post), and idk why but it just bothers me that anytime a character in canon expresses little to no intrest in romance it becomes almost automatically fanon that said character must be gay and not know it, as if being aroace just isn't an option. Because, I feel like those are two different experiences, not completely but, different enough since one can still feel romantic attraction and one feels little to none of it. I also think it's over looked/never discussed how much of Ford's struggles with romance can also come from trauma (being ostrochized, bullied, dont even get me STARTED on it post Bill, etc.) which I also relate to, as someone who for mental health related reasons hasn't dated in years. And I've met lots of people, including men, who have struggled with the same thing. I've had my best friend suggest to me multiple times that I might be a lesbian since men seem to scare me (I've tried, I am not one) and idk I just wish there was more space in fandom to discuss how trauma and being nd or even just being on the aroace spectrum (or all 3) might affect someone's dating life instead of just coming to the conclusion of "oh he struggles with women so poor guy must not know he's gay". Not saying if you headcanon Ford as gay that you're wrong, he can literally be whatever, he's not real. I just wish I had more people that shared this point of veiw on his character with me because I resonate with those parts of his character just in different ways.

I also want to preface that it gives me the personal ick that whenever a male character is more effeminate/eccentric people think that it's an automatic precursor to them not liking women. Like, idk I really hate that it's 2024 and people still base their hcs off of that. There are (very few but they exist) straight drag queens. Femininity is not inherently connected to being attracted to men.

[see-arcane]

Is it just me who's kinda uncomfortable with the BDSM elements of the Nosferatu 2024? Not like in a puritanical way but because I hate the narrative "women secretly want to be abused" thing. Idk I don't trust a middle aged straight man who swears this'll be all dark forbidden desires for our poor repressed victorian good girl and it ends up being 50 shades of grey. Hopefully it doesn't actually end up like that but that's my fear.

Also I just dislike how BDSM in popular media is so heteronormative :// and if anything just reinforce patriarchal views of sexuality. At least mix it up bruv

Thomas Nicholas Hoult Hutter is right there, waiting to be topped, and Bobby Egg expects him to go without being in a goth sandwich between his wife and the undead rat man? Preposterous

But seriously, yeah, I can see where you're coming from. I do still stand by the whole 'Horror is for the taboo, go wild, get fucked up, hell yeah' dealie; there is the fact of this being fiction to give it some necessary insulation. Hell, 90% of most horror genres are already saturated with People (But Mostly Attractive Girls) Going Through Horrors, Who May or May Not Die About It. So the element of 'ooh vintage goth girl has forbidden romance with the monster man of an actual horror story (not a quirky meet-cute)' is refreshing in that aspect

Buuuut, yes, also there's the whole undercurrent of 'Girl wants REAL MAN DOM who does murder and psychological tortures, not lame lameo effeminate damsel guy who's WEAK and LAME and LOVING' going on. The ol' Jonathan and Mina Harker curse at work

As an aside--not even spotlighting Nosferatu necessarily--I am absolutely starving for more Final Boy horror stories. I know, I know, Scream Queen is a classic standard. The Little Red Riding Hood (victorious) of it all! Huzzah!

but like

Why is it always girls in this position, using guile and being pretty-sweaty-bloody at the camera while the Villain preys on her, violently or amorously or whatever?

Why is it always an Ellen Hutter or a Nancy Thompson, never a Jonathan Harker? Let the lads have a turn

[longing-for-rain]

Can we please get rid of the idea that a “strong” woman with an effeminate guy is automatically a subversive and progressive relationship?

Look, I know this take comes from people whose only relationship experience is from fandom tropes and TikTok memes, but it’s frustrating. It’s frustrating to me because I am that woman, and even if it physically “looks” subversive, it often actually isn’t.

Just for context here, I’m speaking from my experience as the kind of woman I am. I’m tall; I’m 5’10”. I have a muscular build. I’m highly educated. I actually used to like the idea of being taller than a male partner, earn more, be the provider, etc. It felt empowering to me, so like a lot of you, I became interested in that idea when I thought about relationships with men. I always hated the “woman role” forced on me and I thought my stature would help me escape it by switching roles.

However, actual experience made it seem a lot less empowering. Because here’s the reality.

Despite what they say, men don’t like it when their wives/girlfriends are taller, or earn more. It makes them feel emasculated. You might notice this immediately, or it might take months for the mask to come off, for him to start acting insecure. But he will. And who will he take it out on? That’s right: you.

Sure, it will be “my girl acts like a booktok boyfriend I love her!” and “my wife is the coolest ever I love her!” at first, but in reality? There will always be some lingering insecurity. He’ll expect you to hold his hand and reassure him that he’s still a man to you and that you respect him constantly.

And that brings me to my next point—these relationships really aren’t as subversive as they seem. Sure, he puts on nail polish and flower crowns. But does he do the dishes? Does he help out around the house? Sure, he gushes about how “cool” you are. But does he support you emotionally the same way you support him? Can you truly be yourself with him, or do you find that you repress and downplay your feelings to protect his?

The unfortunate reality is, there is simply always going to be an unequal dynamic. It’s been instilled into us by thousands of years of patriarchy. You can’t undo that with some fandom tropes. It’s like painting over water damage instead of fixing the broken pipe. The fact remains that as a woman, no matter how physically strong you are, no matter how tall, and no matter how successful, that “progressive” man will still always see you as the woman. His woman. He’ll happily enjoy the benefits of your paycheck while still expecting you to do the majority of the work around the house. He’ll happily “let” you be strong because it also means you’re spending your energy coddling him emotionally. This isn’t subversive or beneficial for women.

There is, of course, an exception. Men who have fetishes—which to be clear, it is never a compliment to be someone’s fetish. I’ve experienced this as well. It’s dehumanizing. You become an object. Even a man who claims to “worship” you in the name of his fetish really isn’t worshipping you—he’s worshipping the gratification he’s using you for. Gratification which comes from the humiliation of being subservient to a woman, because to them, women are weak and inferior so therefore being the servant of one is the greatest humiliation imaginable.

So yes, I’m really sick of seeing posts glorifying these dynamics, because it’s obvious they’re either coming from people who have no experience with them or from fetishists. I don’t care if he wears a flower crown. I don’t care if he’s shorter and cowers behind his #girlboss wife while she epically stands up for him. It’s cheap faux progress and reminds me of how isolated and neglected you feel when you actually have to be that woman.

If you really want to be subversive, as a man, try actually treating your girlfriend as an equal instead of putting her on a pedestal. Try actually asking her what she wants and needs from you instead of assuming. Try sharing responsibilities with her like a partner instead of a grown child. Try defending her with the same passion she does you. Be just as strong for her as she is for you. Stand up for her against other men. Challenge other men. Learn about what she cares about and values. Focus on what you can do for her. Engage with her hobbies. Treat her like a human being and not a trope.

Now that would be an actually subversive heterosexual relationship for a strong woman to be in.

[cyanoticfireflies]

Hazbin Group Chat Fic, pt 2

(Part 1)

PurpleFemale: All right, which one of you hos put a carafe of blood in the communal refrigerator?

SeXXXySpider: Objection!  I’m the only certified ho here and it wasn’t me

Alastor: Ah, guilty as charged, I’m afraid.

WhiskeyWhiskers: Why the fuck would you even…

WhiskeyWhiskers: Nope.  Nope, I’m good.

SssirP: Why would you put blood in the refrigerator?

SeXXXySpider: Christ, Pentious, read a room….

Alastor: To keep it from spoiling, of course

CharChar: Alastor, listen.  We are a ~totally accepting~ group of people who are okay with each others… quirks.

Alastor: Why thank you.

CharChar: But maaaybe please don’t leave blood in the refrigerator like it’s a carton of milk?

Alastor: Perhaps I’m misunderstanding your logic, dear girl.  Why is it okay to store the mammary extractions of a cow in the refrigerator but not the vascular extractions of a deer?

PurpleFemale: Oh thank god.

SeXXXySpider: Okay, I’m not the only one who immediately assumed it was the blood of a sinner, right?

NaNaNaNiff: Not this time at least!!!

SeXXXySpider: (ㆆ _ ㆆ)

SssirP: But… we keep food in there.

WhiskeyWhiskers: Apparently so does Alastor.

PurpleFemale: Gross.

Alastor: I must say, I’m feeling very singled out right now.

CharChar: Oh, no, Alastor, nothing like that!  We’re just all still adjusting to the little quirks from living together.  Right, everyone?

Alastor: Yet here I am, being publicly judged for what I choose to put in my mouth and yet no one says a thing to the effeminate spider.

SeXXXySpider: *WHEEZE*

PurpleFemale: Kill me.  Please.

WhiskeyWhiskers: I hate every single one of you.

Alastor: Really, half of the freezer is taken up by the boxes of popsicles he keeps in there.

PurpleFemale: …

WhiskeyWhiskers: …

SeXXXySpider: …

SssirP: Alastor does have a point, actually.  We’re supposed to share the space, but Angel Dust takes up more than his fair share.

PurpleFemale: I’m simultaneously so relieved and so disappointed.

SeXXXySpider: I was actually going to be really proud of the radio freak

SeXXXySpider: And was then going to go bleach my brain

WhiskeyWhiskers: Alastor, do you even hear yourself when you say things

Alastor: Sorry?

CharChar: Um, I think everyone else might have drawn their own conclusions about what you were making an allusion to….

NaNaNaNiff: They definitely thought you meant dicks!

Alastor: I did not.

PurpleFemale: Well we know that NOW

CharChar: Actually, that gives me an idea for a get-to-know-everyone exercise!

WhiskeyWhiskers: Of course it does.

CharChar: Everyone should tell the group what their absolute favorite food is!

CharChar: I really like apples.  I know it’s cliché with my dad and all, but I remember being really little and him conjuring up some for me to snack on and they were always so good!

PurpleFemale: That’s actually really wholesome, babe.

Purple Female: I guess chicharron for me.  But, like.  Good chicharron.  If it’s shitty, then it’s worse than no chicharron.

SeXXXySpider: Lasagna ((っっ˘ڡ˘ςς)

SeXXXySpider: But if you get the sauce from a jar, you deserve to be shot

PurpleFemale: Wow, Angel.  You actually… participated.  And answered.  And the answer wasn’t a sex joke.

SeXXXySpider: Hey, I’m happy to talk about sucking the cream right out of a long thick cannoli if you want me to

PurpleFemale: And there it went.

WhiskeyWhiskers: You should know by now not to tempt fate

PurpleFemale: Yeah….

SssirP: I actually quite like a good chamomile tea and biscuits, myself.

NaNaNaNiff: Hehehe, you don’t like scrambled eggies?

SssirP: … I do like them hardboiled on occasion

SeXXXySpider: Damn, hardcore, my guy

SeXXXySpider: I guess there really is a kink for anything in Hell

SssirP: I didn’t mean my Egg Boiz!

SssirP: I would never!

CharChar: How about you, Niffty?

NaNaNaNiff: I like chocolate!

PurpleFemale: That was a surprisingly normal answer.

NaNaNaNiff: Chocolate covered ants, chocolate covered crickets, chocolate covered silkworms

NaNaNaNiff: Chomp chomp!

WhiskeyWhiskers: Again, Vaggie, tempting fate…

SeXXXySpider: I’ve never regretted less not having a gag reflex

CharChar: That’s… that’s all right!  Some people do eat, um… chocolate covered bugs.  Everyone has their own tastes!

CharChar: Husk!  What about you?

WhiskeyWhiskers: Macallan

CharChar: What’s that?

PurpleFemale: Husk.  No.

WhiskeyWhiskers: Glenfiddich

PurpleFemale: No, Husk

WhiskeyWhiskers: Balvenie

SeXXXySpider: Daaaaamn, daddy only drinks the top shelf shit

WhiskeyWhiskers: Call me that again and see what happens

SeXXXySpider: Don’t flirt with me in public, baby

PurpleFemale: Brands of whiskey can’t be your favorite foods, Husk

WhiskeyWhiskers: No one else was told their answers were wrong

CharChar: I mean, no, but everyone else’s answers were technically food, sooooooo

WhiskeyWhiskers: All right, fair enough, I guess.

WhiskeyWhiskers: I mean, shitty bar food?

WhiskeyWhiskers: I don’t know.  It’s just kind of nostalgic?

CharChar: Really?

WhiskeyWhiskers: I think my first vegetable was celery from a bloody mary.

SssirP: Aww.  That’s kind of sad.

SeXXXySpider: Newsflash, P – if we weren’t all walkin’ tragedies we wouldn’t be here

CharChar: Alastor, I guess you like venison?

Alastor: Indeed, my dear!  ThE RaReR ThE BeTtEr

SeXXXySpider: Hey, Niff.  Can I be your best friend if I bring you, oh, say, a 10-foot or so chocolate covered moth?

PurpleFemale: Please don’t make that sexy.

WhiskeyWhiskers: What did you say earlier about bleaching your brain?

SeXXXySpider: No, but seriously.  Chomp chomp, sister, just like you said!  No sexy.  Just crunchy.

NaNaNaNiff: Ehehehehe, that’s a LOT of bug!

SeXXXySpider: I’ll see what I can do, toots

WhiskeyWhiskers: If we’re actually killing Valentino, I want in

CharChar: … I mean… me… too?

SeXXXySpider: ╰། ╰། ◉ ◯ ◉ །╯།╯

PurpleFemale: Whoa.  Really, babe?

SssirP: Goodness! 

Alastor: That doesn’t sound like you at all, Charlie

CharChar: Angel’s boss is a jerk

SeXXXySpider: Bet

(Part 3) (Part 4)