#which is the original and primary point of the blog. I just want Evil Spice Man and Pretty Cheese Lady to bang is that really so wrong

[burningcheese-merchant]

Hey Merchant! Brand new to the blog and I love it, but I was wondering your opinion on something. I’ve been noticing recently (especially on TikTok) people coming to a compromise in defending ShadowVanilla but/by antagonizing BurningCheese. They’ll say stuff like “SV has nuance but BC is just toxic” and while I can see that in a way, it doesn’t sit right with me. Again, just wondering how you feel about that (No hate to those people from me though).

Hypocrites. They're stupid, annoying hypocrites. Plain and simple. There's nothing to see except for that. It doesn't sit right because the chair is fucking busted dude, it's got 3 legs and two of them got mauled by termites and the rest got cobbled together by Patrick Star

If Golden Cheese was a man, BurningCheese would be just as popular as ShadowVanilla. It would have mountains of fanart on this dumb website and it would have a million fics on AO3 (400 and counting vs 40, yes I am bitter and disappointed, I'm only one person and there are only so many hours in a day I can't bridge that gap alone) and it would have hordes of dumb, horny fujos running interference for it 24/7 just like ShadowVanilla does. (And I specify GC being a man and not BS being a woman because let's all be real. Nobody cares about f/f ships. M/f and f/f are and will always be overshadowed by m/m whether any of us like it or not.) If they actually bothered to pay attention to the game, and to GC's and BS's characters and how they intertwine/compare/contrast, then they would see that their dynamic has equal weight and value. But they don't. And you know what? At least half of them didn't recognize the weight and value of ShadowVanilla, either, until episode 7 and 8 came out and the concept was directly spoonfed to them by the narrative. The OG ShadowVanilla fans went from rarepair hell to having their ship borderline gentrified, that's a whole separate tragedy honestly

You know what's blinding those people to BurningCheese? You know the truth? I'm going to explain better.

Burning Spice is a man and Golden Cheese is a woman. That automatically sets it back in the eyes of a lot of morons online. Hetero pairs bad. Also, BS hurt GC in the story, which is his literal job as a villain and all the Beasts do this, therefore misogyny abuse toxic blah blah blah. GC fought back and kicked his ass and never once tolerated any of his behavior but that doesn't matter I guess. Shadow Milk psychologically tortured Pure Vanilla and essentially mutilated him mentally/spiritually and turned him into a husk (Truthless Recluse). But that doesn't matter because gay = get out of jail free, also there's probably a dose of "lol men can't be abused or mistreated and anything bad that happens to a man is hot and/or deserved" underlining some people's thoughts let's not kid ourselves

Burning Spice is not a Tumblr Sexyman and Shadow Milk is. Shadow Milk is thin and nerdy and has multicolored hair and dresses like a literal and figurative clown and is kind of effeminate and is basically the final boss of all theater kids and is dramatic and charmingly evil and is confirmed to be about as physically tough as cooked pasta. Burning Spice is built like a brick shithouse and has to bend down to fit through a doorway and speaks in a rumbling baritone and is the "wrong" kind of evil (he is not suave or charming, he is all out bloodthirsty with zero dramatics or window dressing of any kind). Burning Spice is a traditionally masculine man and Shadow Milk is not. And the Tumblr I always thought I knew never liked men like BS, they like men like SM, and so far no one has done anything to prove me wrong. Tumblr Sexymen can do whatever they want and always be praised, regular sexy men can do the exact same shit and be condemned as toxic and abusive because they're perceived as threatening while Tumblr Sexymen are not

Burning Spice and Golden Cheese are not white/based on non-white cultures. They're both very dark-skinned, at that. Yes they are cookies not humans, but come the fuck on Burning Spice is literally Shiva but red instead of blue, certain cookies are obviously supposed to be certain races/ethnicities deal with it!! Skinny white boys have always been what Tumblr and TikTok girlies want, it's always been this way and always will be. Go look at the top pairings on AO3, 99% is yaoi with white dudes. (No you are not racist if you don't like BurningCheese, not liking a ship is not racist good Lord. Racism is a little bigger than that. I'm just pointing out a pattern)

I will say it until I'm as blue in the face as Shadow Milk is, I LOVE ShadowVanilla. I really do. I love them individually as characters and together as a pair, I love all the beautiful fanart, I love everyone's analyses of them, I love all the fantastic fics written by fantastic authors I will never in my fucking life measure up to I don't even know why I bother at this point, I do I do I do. But I am SICK of the hypocrisy. SICK OF IT. I am SICK of BurningCheese getting maligned while ShadowVanilla is celebrated in the same fucking breath. Look me in the eye and tell me SM is any fucking better than BS. Look me in the eye and tell me you'd still like ShadowVanilla if PV was a woman, instead of screeching about misogyny and abuse. I accept and love both ships for what they are and what they can be. If someone can't do that for whatever reason then fine, that's nobody's problem but theirs, it's shipping it doesn't actually matter do what you want, but don't try looking down your nose at others because "Fallen Hero/Heinous Villain Being Canonically Attracted To/Obsessed With Their Heroic Counterpart/Narrative Foil, Whom They Cannot Live Without Because They Are Actual, Literal Soulmates" is better than "Fallen Hero/Heinous Villain Being Canonically Attracted To/Obsessed With Their Heroic Counterpart/Narrative Foil, Whom They Cannot Live Without Because They Are Actual, Literal Soulmates" because ❓❓❓❓❓❓❓

I'm sorry Anon, I'm not mad at you. I'm happy to hear from you, I'm happy you took the time to reach out to me, I'm happy you like my blog and I hope you stay. I'll just be honest, I'm dealing with something genuinely awful in real life right now and I am not ok. I'm really not ok. I needed to yell at something stupid and ridiculous so I could pretend I'm not the utterly powerless creature I actually am, if only for a moment. I saw a punching bag in the shape of your ask and I started swinging. Worst part is I don't even feel any better, but I already typed all of this out so I might as well keep it

TL;DR: TikTok -> OPINION DISCARDED