#I don't know if I can quote a single line. And I LIKE this play. I think.

[doyouknowhowtowaltz]

What exactly did Bill put in a Midsummer Night's Dream? I swear I've read that play like five times and I can never remember any of the specifics.

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

could I get Dazai x Jessica rabbit male reader? Like reader is taller is feminine and intimidatingly sexy and Dazai endearingly is his “roger rabbit” in this situation, male reader is disinterested in me and woman alike to try to woo him and is polite but firm with he’s not there for you he’s there for someone else. The. Dazai comes strutting in and hangs on male reader’s should with love struck eyes and everyone is like “how the fuck did you end up with him-?” And male reader is like “He makes me laugh”

Dazai Osamu - Jessica Rabbit-Like Male Reader 

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

This is ADA Dazai and not PM Dazai since you didn't specify in your ask what time frame you wanted this in. This is my first time writing Dazai so I apologize if I didn't capture his character properly. I also wrote this headcannons in second person for a change, let me know if you like this more than the usual. I hope I did your ask some justice, Anon. The lyrics quoted in this one are from the song “Why Don't You Do Right” written by Joe McCoy and sung by Peggy Lee. —Benny🐰

Warnings -> Suggestive, Mentions of Suicide, Reader will have descriptions that correlate with the character 'Jessica Rabbit'

                                                                                                   

🍒•♡•🍒•♡•🍒•♡•🍒•♡•🍒•♡•🍒•♡•🍒•♡•🍒

❝𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖍𝖆𝖉 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖞 𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖞, 1922-- 𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖊𝖙 𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖓 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖆 𝖋𝖔𝖔𝖑 𝖔𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚❞

. . .

🎙   When Dazai and [Name] first met, you can imagine what the first thing the bandaged man said to them was, of course, asking to commit double suicide with him. The tall and seductive stranger giggled and declined, thinking the bandaged man was simply making a morbid joke, but he planted a sweet kiss on Dazai's cheek and made his way down the street and out of the ADA detective's line of sight. The way the taller man's hips swayed as he strutted away had the brunette staring after him with wide eyes, sparkling with interest.

🎙  The two met again and subsequently exchanged contact information as well as planned a date during one of the investigations he was a part of. Something about the murder of a guy that happened in the club that [Name] performed in and the perpetrator being an ability user. After the investigation wrapped up, Osamu made sure to rizz him up and once again coax them into a double suicide, to which they again chuckled at and denied. For the mentioned date, Osamu took them to the movies them out to eat at the Uzumaki Diner before walking them home and being sent off with a kiss.

🎙  Now the two are married; two years going strong. Dazai makes sure to show up to every single performance his husband has at whichever club it happens to be at; oftentimes skipping out on his paperwork in order to do so. Dazai does make sure to tell [Name] that he in no way needs to come and see him at the ADA just in case, for their safety. Occasionally though, the seductive club singer does pay the bandaged man a workplace visit; usually dropping him off lunch or just to spend time together after being apart for a while.

🎙  Most times [Name]'s visits end up with him sitting sideways on his husband's lap while listening to him talk about his day in an animated fashion. Trailing his index finger up and down Osamu's chest slowly and sensually; the natural seductive smile playing on his lips. [Name] smothering the brunette in tons of kisses; leaving prints of his painted lips all over his husband's face and staining the bandages wrapped around his neck. Feeding each other whatever Osamu decided to grab from the vending machine on the other side of the room.

🎙  Speaking of the ADA; those in the agency still can't wrap their heads around how the two got together in the first place. [Name] is a drop-dead gorgeous sex symbol of a man who has a flourishing career as a club singer and Dazai is... well himself. Poor Atsushi nearly had a stroke trying to process the two being in a loving and stable relationship. How the bandaged man and his husband interact also seems to leave a few select people feeling painfully single and Dazai absolutely revels in their suffering. The man definitely plays up his interactions with [Name] just to get a rise out of them. When Kunikida asked the tall man just what he saw in his husband he answered that Dazai made him laugh.

🎙  Overall, the two have a very loving and stable relationship. Despite Osamu's want for death, [Name] makes him feel like life may be worth living just a little while longer than he thought. Every night that he spends in his husband's embrace is another night he feels safe, loved, and protected from the haunting memories of his past actions and those he's lost. Although... most nights the two of them don't get to sleep until late into the night.~ All Osamu's doing I'm sure, the scoundrel.

. . .

❝𝖂𝖍𝖞 𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖉𝖔 𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙, 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖒𝖊𝖓 𝖉𝖔? 𝕲𝖊𝖙 𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖌𝖊𝖙 𝖒𝖊 𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖞 𝖙𝖔𝖔❞

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🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Reblogs are appreciated ~ 𔓘

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[obsessedwhyyes]

Velvet and Vice - An Astarion Quote Prompt List for Smut Writers

As requested, one smut quote prompt list for Astarion coming right up! I've divided this into two sections: Before and During (under the cut for obvious reasons). Before the smut and during the smut. All lines are fully gender neutral. As before, drop me a tag if you use any of these! I'd love to see them in action.

Gif by @gortash on Tumblr!

Before

"Oh, darling. I didn't realise it was this easy to have you wrapped around my finger."

"I don't even have to say a word, do I? You're already thinking about it."

"You look delectable in this light. Good enough to eat, one might say."

"Patience was never my virtue. But for you, I might make an exception."

"Darling, your gaze is positively ravenous. Careful, or I might think you want to devour me."

"Your eagerness is flattering, truly. Though I can hardly be blamed for being so alluring, can I?"

"You're quite the temptation, darling. And I've always had trouble resisting those."

"I promise, the only marks I'll leave are the ones you beg me for."

"Oh, my sweet. I plan on making sure you remember every. Single. Detail."

"I promise to be gentle. Unless, of course, you'd prefer otherwise."

During

"I've barely laid a finger on you, and you're already breathless. Oh, this will be fun."

"Darling, if you keep making sounds like that, I might just lose my focus. And we wouldn't want that, now, would we?"

"My, my. Aren't you just full of hidden talents? I'm positively intrigued."

"You look so vulnerable; so deliciously at my mercy. Shall I show you just how much I enjoy that?"

"You're a masterpiece like this, you know. And I've always had a taste for the finer things."

"You're playing with fire, darling. Keep it up, and I'll ensure neither of us gets any rest tonight."

"You're so delightfully sensitive. It's almost criminal how easily I can drive you mad."

"You're being so good for me, darling. I think you deserve a little more, don't you?"

"Care to discover just how talented these fingers can be?"

"I've barely begun, and you're already putty in my hands. How terribly convenient for me."

"You have no idea how delectable you look right now. It's almost unfair, really."

"Oh, darling. You didn't think I'd be satisfied with just that, did you? We're just getting started."

"My, such enthusiasm. One might think you've been fantasising about this for days."

"If you want my attention, you'll have to earn it. Show me how badly you need it."

"Always so eager to please. I do love that about you."

I also write Astarion fanfiction! Masterlist can be found here.

Non-smut Astarion quotes for general use here!

[nevereverywhere]

The »The End« guitar solos or "how to subtly show your love by playing guitar together, when talking about problems is apparently not a possibility" Quotes by Geoff Emerick, sound engineer and record producer: 'I know!' he (John) said mischievously, unwilling to let it go. 'Why don't we all play the solo? We can take turns and trade licks.' Long guitar solos with dueling lead guitarists were becoming the vogue at the time, so it was a suggestion that clearly had merit. George (Martin) looked dubious, but Paul not only embraced the idea but upped the ante further still: 'Better yet,' he said, 'why don't all three of us play it live?' Lennon loved the idea – for the first time in weeks I saw a real gleam in his eye. It didn't take long for John's enthusiasm to rub off on George Harrison, who finally got into the spirit of things. John, Paul and George looked like they had gone back in time, like they were kids again, playing together for the sheer enjoyment of it. More than anything, they reminded me of gunslingers, with their guitars strapped on, looks of steely-eyed resolve, determined to outdo one another. Yet there was no animosity, no tension at all – you could tell they were simply having fun. The order was Paul first, then George, then John, and they went back and forth. They ran down their ideas a few times and before you knew it, they were ready to go. Their amps were lined up together and we recorded their parts on one track. You could really see the joy in their faces as they played; it was like they were teenagers again. One take was all we needed. The musical telepathy between them was mind-boggling. Incredibly, after just a brief period of rehearsal, they nailed it in a single take. When it was over, there was no backslapping or hugging – The Beatles rarely expressed themselves physically like that – but there were lots of broad grins. I guess there's also the possibility that, as they were performing the solo, they realized they might never get to play together again; perhaps they were viewing that moment as a poignant farewell. It was the first time in a long time that the three of them were actually playing together in the studio.

[eddiemunsons-missingnipple]

can i get a lil sum sum with soft eddie? maybe he’s telling you all about his favorite movie while you watch it? little behind the scenes facts while you lay with your head in his lap 🥹 you can’t help but smile at how excited he gets over the movie, making you happier than ever

Eddie munson x reader

Warnings: none, fluff. Soft!eddie

"C'mon babe, I'm putting in the movie!" Edde yelled from across the room.

You were busy getting the snacks together for your weekly movie night. You had one every day of the week if Eddie didn't work too late. Since today is Thursday. That means it's Lord of the Rings night. Or as Eddie refers to it, Tolkien Thursdays. This week, you and him would be watching Return of the King together.

He's seen these movies probably more than you can count. Yet every time he presses play, he's like a little kid watching it for the first time. Eddie knows every single piece of trivia there is to know right down to the actors' shoe size. He's watched all of their interviews and will quote "when will you wear wigs" at any given opportunity. Eddie thinks that interview is the funniest thing to exist.

"I'm coming!" You yelled back, dumping the bag of popcorn in a large bowl.

You rush to join him on the couch, setting the bowl down on the table next to the sodas you brought in earlier.

"Hurry, hurry." He waved

"Eddie, you haven't even pressed play yet," you smile, shaking your head.

"You can't miss a single second, babe, not one." His said eyes trained to the screen in front of him.

You watch him with amusement as the opening title finally appears. Your eyes locked on him while. You couldn't help but think it was so cute how animated he got at times. As the movie went on, Eddie seemed to calm down a little. You just knew if you put your palm to his chest, you could feel his heart beating a mile a minute.

Smiling softly, you move to lay your head in his lap and watched the ending battle. Eddies favorite part besides Denethor tells Pippin to sing for him. He knows the song by heart, and you do too now. You often hear him humming it in the shower after he gets off work.

You felt him jump and gasp as is he doesn't know what's about to happen.

"You paying attention, baby?" His voice sounding panicked. He moves a hand to gently stroke down your face before placing it on the curve of your hip.

You chuckled slightly, "Yea, Ed, I'm watching."

This was the part he looked forward to most. The scene where Eowyn defeats the witch king. You felt him shift as he leaned forward. He's trying to contain his excitement since you're lying on him. Normally, he would be jumping out of his seat, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"I am no man." He whispered, yelled to himself. You don't have to touch him to know he has goosebumps all over. Eddie was always at his happiest at these moments. You heard him repeating his favorite lines to himself all throughout the movie.

"Psst! You awake? " Eddie gently shook your shoulder.

"I'm awake."

He leaned back after getting a handful of popcorn. out stretched his legs, getting comfortable himself.

Did you know Frodo falls down 39 times in this?" He snorted with a mouth full of popcorn.

"He sounds a lot like me." You laugh as he continued telling you little facts here and there. The credits have started rolling, and Eddie still hasn't stopped educating you on his favorite trilogy. You soaked it all in every little detail he told you about. He even taught you how to say "I love you" in Elvish.

"So that's what you've been saying to me this whole time?"

"Yep." Eddie grinned from ear to ear.

You could listen to him ramble on forever. His face lighting up at the mention of Lord of the Rings is enough to keep you asking him about it. His smile was infectious. You never want it to go away. The way you both relaxed into one another during these moments was very special to you both. There was instant peace it felt like all of your worries just melted away.

"Eddie?" You call out to him.

"Yeah?"

"Can you read to me tonight? " Your eyes grow heavy as you turn to look up at him.

"Of course, baby. Ready for bed?" Eddie smiled down at you.

You nod. "Mmhmm."

"Kay, let's get you to bed then." He let out a loud yawn and popped the knuckles on his hands.

Eddie spent the next hour and a half reading The Hobbit to you. Trying your damn best to stay up longer. He was an amazing, great storyteller. He liked to make up little voices for each character as he read out loud to you. Eventually, sleep won and took over you and him.

Eddie fell asleep a little after you with the book tucked under his chin. Your head leaning against his shoulder. This became another part of your routine together. Movie nights and then a book before bed. You loved the way he would get so immersed in them both. Now you really understand why the kids loved having him as their DM. He made it fun and exciting. You didn't think you could fall in love with him more than you already were. But you were wrong. You were very wrong.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Dialogue

Dialogue is a spoken exchange between multiple characters in a play, film, TV show, or another type of creative writing.

Writing dialogue reveals character development, speech patterns, and mannerisms, which can also propel the plot forward.

Often, authors employ realistic dialogue that captures how specific people speak.

Sometimes they use direct dialogue (showing what a character wants), and other times they are rich in subtext (illuminating depth beneath the surface of the exchange).

How to Format Dialogue Dialogue formatting can show verbal exchanges between two characters effectively.

Consider these guidelines on how to punctuate dialogue:

Quotation marks. Writers should use double quotation marks to encase a character’s spoken words. Single quotation marks may appear within dialogue when someone is quoting another.

Dialogue tag. Writers typically insert a comma at the end of a sentence as a dialogue tag to denote the speaker (such as: “Let’s eat,” Travis said.). The comma should appear comma before the closing set of quotation marks.

Closing punctuation after quotation marks. An exclamation point or question mark may also appear before the closing quotation marks.

New paragraph. When characters talk back and forth to one another, start a new section each time another character speaks a line of dialogue.

How to Write Dialogue

Consider the following writing tips from Judy Blume on how to craft strong dialogue:

Dialogue breaks up your text. Writers can use dialogue to enliven long blocks of text. “I'll flip through a book, and if it's dense, dense, dense, dense, no paragraphs, no dialogue, I don't want to read it,” Judy says. “But dialogue lightens up your book on the page. You want white space on the page. Dialogue gives you that: playlets, I often put in little playlets in my book; it's like a little play within a scene.”

To write better dialogue, read more of it. Authors write great dialogue by reading great dialogue. “Reading and reading and reading, you will find what's good dialogue, what you think is good dialogue, and what you think is wooden and not very good dialogue,” Judy says. “And you will learn from that just by reading it and reading it and going to the next book and finding it because it's there. It's in every novel. There's dialogue.”

Keep your word choice simple. In a few of her earlier works, Judy did not use the word “said” when writing dialogue. “I decided that I would write this whole novel without ever using he word ‘said,’ that said was such a boring word,” she says. “‘He said.’ ‘She said.’ I had my thesaurus by my side, and my characters did everything but say. My characters exclaimed. They beguiled. And they did everything but say. Throw away your thesaurus when you’re writing.”

Write realistic voices. Developing a character’s voice requires observing real-life exchanges and using smart word choices. “It’s a question of capturing the way people talk when they're talking to each other on the street, you know, in the workplace, wherever,” Judy says. “Your characters should each speak as themselves, meaning they are believable and recognizable.”

Source ⚜ Writing References: Worldbuilding ⚜ Plot ⚜ Character More: Better Dialogue ⚜ Children's Dialogue ⚜ Dialogue Prompts

[wowcatboys]

HI honeyy I love ur blog!!! can u please write the headcanons for kayn and K/da f!reader...how do the two of them explain their relationship to their fans or maybe they give a moment in a few shows?

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♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

HEARTSTEEL KAYN: K/DA READER ♡ Female Reader ♡ SFW, with slight touching/sensuality ♡ No TWs ♡ THIS GOT SO LONG. I am willing to write more for this situation, since I had to cut a lot of my OG ideas to make room for what felt the most important...truly Kayn floods my mind and cannot be expressed or exhausted

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KAYN

When Akali dragged you along to one of Kayn's birthday parties, all she wanted was a drinking buddy to keep her company while Kayn was doing, quote, "birthday boy shit". She wasn't expecting you and Kayn to hit it off so well. She definitely wasn't expecting to find you two wedged in a coat closet, shoving your tongues down each other's throats. She had two words for Kayn as she linked her arm in yours and tugged you out from between a leather jacket and an 80's windbreaker; "Do. not."

But, after two torturously long weeks of you never shutting up about Kayn during rehearsals, and Kayn texting her so much she has to threaten to block him for any sort of peace and quiet (at all hours of the night and day, "hey gimme your hot friend's number", over and over AND OVER AND OVER), Akali comes around. She's just worried for you. Kayn's got quite the reputation, and she doesn't want him to fuck around with you and break your heart. But, she figures, you're both adults, so who is she to stand in the way of whatever you've got going on. So she eventually texts Kayn your number, but not without a warning; "you remember I know martial arts, yeah? and that I can totally kick your fucking ass? don't break my girl's heart dipshit".

On the whole, K/DA supports your budding relationship with Kayn. Even though he's a bit wild, the group's whole thing is about being individual and true to yourself—it seems hypocritical to tell you that you can't be caught holding hands with Kayn in line at Chipotle anymore for the sake of the band's image.

Heartsteel is a bit more tentative about you and Kayn. Alune's nervous to have Kayn dating such a high-profile star when Heartsteel has literally JUST broken onto the scene. But, this is Kayn, after all. What are they going to ask him to do, stop seeing you? He wouldn't listen. Besides, you do seem like a good influence in his life, and if the way his eyes light up whenever he sees your name pop up on his phone screen say anything, he's crazy about you. Eventually Alune sways other management and teams to embrace your relationship, as long as the two of you try to keep it relatively low-key.

If anyone ever implies he's with you to boost Heartsteel's fame or that he's trying to ride K/DA's coattails to the top, Kayn blows up. "We don't need shit from anybody," he sneers, "we're gonna climb to the top all by our fucking selves. Oh, and if you think (Y/N) would settle for anything less than a born rockstar? You're fucking stupid."

For your part, you're more subtle when publicly discussing your relationship with Kayn, but you still shoot down any ideas that he's with you for your status. "Heartsteel definitely doesn't need K/DA's help," you assert. "They're superstars and they're earning their spot on the music scene fair and square."

Kayn is your absolute fucking biggest superfan. He knows your lyrics front-to-back, he shows up to every single event he can, and he even uses Ezreal's Mercari account to snag rare merch that's being resold. Kayn tries to play it cool, but come on. You've seen the amount of posters he tries to hide in his closet. Only a fanboy has a collection like that.

There's hundreds of paparazzi photos of you two floating around on the internet, and Kayn's got a love-hate relationship with that fact. On the one hand, he loves being seen with you—what better way to claim you as his own than a photo of him literally grabbing your ass on the cover of a trashy gossip mag? On the other hand, can't a guy get some goddamn privacy? He hates that he has to share you with anyone, prying 'journalists' included. To make light of it, though, you two have started a little game. You send each other the wildest claims you can find about your relationship, trying to one up the other. Kayn's still winning with the article claiming that he's exercising some kind of mind-control to make you his girlfriend.

Flipping off the camera and open-mouth kissing you is one of Kayn's favorite poses to strike if he notices paparazzi lurking. For your part? You're just happy for his attention.

Kayn loves when you sneak into his shows. You usually have to wear a hoodie and go incognito to avoid getting mobbed, but don't worry, Kayn can pick you out of a crowd no matter what you're wearing. Sometimes, if you're standing close enough to the stage, he'll take off his shirt and toss it at you. He gets off on the attention, on thousands of people all-but-worshipping him, and if his favorite person is in the throng, knowing his worst parts but screaming for him alongside everyone else, just the same? Ego-boost of the fucking century. He may not express it to you often, but he really, really appreciates when you come see his shows.

Your packed schedules present a challenge, and Kayn despises the fact that you're often touring hours away from him. He still tries to talk to you as much as possible, even if it's not in person. Expect daily FaceTime calls, frequent Discord DM's, and around the clock blurry pictures of Kayn causing mischief.

Bless Akali's heart because Kayn absolutely harasses her about you. Whenever you're busy, he bugs her; "tell my gf to come back from the ded". Anytime you're on tour, he Venmoes her money to buy you your favorite fast food. She complains to you constantly—"tell your purse dog to stop yipping at me"— but really, she doesn't mind spoiling you by proxy. She's just happy that Kayn dotes on you so much.

Kayn jokes about making you late for rehearsal a lot—especially if he's halfway down your neck in a heated makeout sesh—but the truth is, that's never going to happen. Sure, he dicks around a lot, but he never gives less than one-hundred-and-ten to Heartsteel and he's not about to let you slack off, either. That includes making sure you get to your K/DA commitments on time (even if your neck is littered with hickies).

Kayn loves when you show him your choreography. He listens intently as you explain how to go through the steps, or complain about what you're struggling with. Often, he'll offer critique; "you look a little off-balance, try standing this way," or "Have you tried positioning a little more to the left?". Sometimes, these are genuine tips. Most of the time, though, he's just looking for an excuse to feel you up. What better way to sneakily touch your boobs than "suggesting" your chest needs to come out more?

[simplydnp]

Hii as a passive fan looking in from sidelines, I read something along the lines that Dan and Phil did come out like few weeks apart but they haven’t confirmed or denied that they are in a relationship? I am confused as what is the official narrative from their side, can you clear this for me please.

I have no doubt of them being together just confused about official timeline, xx

dan and phil are embracing the ambiguity that is brought to them under the 'we know you know' mindset

you're correct in that they came out a few weeks apart (though, phil kind of did in his tweet supporting dan on the day dan came out)

it's funny you ask this, as we do have a recent answer to a reporter about their relationship:

this is the first time they've really been asked this since coming out, but it's important to note the context here: they're talking to a new zealand reporter, about their tour. to me, it reads as an aggressive fuck off signal to the media. ie, this topic is off-limits. so 'officially' their stance is that their lives are private.

unofficially? there's a year's worth of dapg videos that carry heavy implications. it's a lot of reading between the lines, it's a lot of interpreting jokes, it's a lot of paying attention to things both Said and not said. from explicit sex jokes to earnest moments to even specific games they've played, it's easy for an audience to pick up the clues because we're looking for them--cause dan and phil tend to put them there for us. it is important to note that there has been a significant change in tone of the gaming videos from the past vs the gaming videos now. while the language and the types of jokes have changed, so has the dynamic--in the best way possible. they're much more free and relaxed on camera now, both an intentional choice and the result of being out for 5 years.

they've got a mortgage together, alright?

in terms of them not directly commenting on it--at least at this point, it just makes things easier. they aren't usually on tour so reporters aren't usually asking them these questions, but even beyond that, they're incredibly internet famous. even they themselves were surprised about quote "how many people were horny for dan and phil in 2024". and sure, it isn't the same numbers as pre-hiatus, but there's definitely still a lot of people here. so while we champion for a hard-launch (since they keep moving closer) we also know that it's bigger than just saying it. it would be everywhere. everyone would have something to say. and then it's not about the content anymore, it's the relationship (though, one would argue their chemistry makes the content, but i would say their connection adds to it, but isn't the commodity they specifically sell)

in terms of the timeline in particular, we're days away from 15 years of dan and phil, in that they filmed and posted pinof 1 in 2009 at the end of this week. they've never intentionally specified any other anniversary, so we don't know (though we have suspicions), but it's unlikely it took That long to get there. coming out was the next Biggest step, one could argue, and you're right about the timeline of weeks between videos. what i reckon that's important to note is that dan 'appeared' in a phil video surprisingly soon after june, despite not having made any other videos since christmas of the year before. even though it was just his voice, it was enough. there were 4 ish years of limited joint content between them, but it did happen (mostly stories and podcast style things), up until the return of dapg last october. since then, there's been regular dapg uploads (crazy phrase) and dan's either been directly in or mentioned in every single amazingphil video since the return. it depends how much you think implications and indirect phrasing are evidence/signifiers, but there's been a Lot that's come out of gaming videos in particular that Mean Things to the fans, but aren't something able to be captured by the media and ran with (though, one article did see the 'dan and phil are getting divorced' title and reported on it as if it were true, despite it just being an 'it takes two' video)

[kyasemi]

Murder Drones Incorrect Quotes

*Squad is playing Among Us* 

V: I believe Uzi is innocent, I was with them the whole time. N, what were you doing? 

N: Oh, I was just murdering… I mean, nothing!

✦��······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Guys, I didn’t memorize my lines!

V: Just use your lack of common sense! Everyone knows the characters in plays are dumb as fuck!

*During the play*

N: Hey! You finally made it! Did you get the donuts?

Uzi: W-what’re donut’s?

V: hehe, nice.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Where’s N?

V: Around.

Uzi: Around?

Uzi: You don’t have any idea, do you?

N, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: How do I make a date really romantic? 

N: Be mysterious. 

Uzi: Okay! 

*later, while on a date with V* 

V: So where are we going? 

Uzi: None of your fucking business.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: We’re about to do the taser challenge. You want in?

N: What’s the taser challenge?

Uzi: We tase each other, then drink.

N: How do you win?

V: What are you, a lawyer? You want in or not?

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: Guys, where did Uzi go?

N: They got arrested.

V: How the hell-

Uzi: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: I’m this close to falling in love with N.

V: Your fingertips are touching.

Uzi: Exactly. 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: As your best friend–

V: N is my best friend.

Uzi, holding a knife: As your best friend–

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: I hate Uzi.

N: Don’t say hate. That is a mean word.

V: Fine, I LOATHE Uzi.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: It’s pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands?

Uzi, blushing: Okay.

V: It’s fucking summer.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: Want to hear a hard riddle?

N: Sure.

V: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll?

N: …down?

V: N-

Uzi: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then.

V:

V: No, it’s that roosters don’t lay eggs… Jesus Christ…

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Nice rock.

N: Thanks, J gave it to me.

J: I threw it at you!

N: Aren’t they the sweetest?

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: *finds a note* Hmm, whats this?

V: Hey, that’s mind! *tries to grab it*

N: Aww, it’s a love note for Uzi?

V: No-

N: 

V:

N: I can’t read this.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: I didn’t drink that much last night.

V: You were flirting with Uzi.

N: So what? They’re my partner.

V: You asked if they were single.

V: and then you cried when they said they weren’t.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: I’m not that stupid!

Uzi: N, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

N: V TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

*Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation* 

Uzi: How do you eat pickles? 

V: What do you mean? 

Uzi: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes. 

V: Yeah, that's why you use a fork. 

Uzi: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always  one of those smaller sharp knives clean. 

V: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work. 

Uzi: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl. 

V: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing. 

Uzi: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug. 

V: *Nods in agreement* 

N: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS! 

Uzi: Jeez, okay. 

V: Quit yelling at us already.

[ferida-kahlo]

♡ Hotline ♡

Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Summary: You and Mikey have been casually seeing each other for a few weeks. After a late night text from him, you make the drunken insomniac executive decision of calling him back. Naughtiness ensues.

Or: the one where you and Michael have phone sex.

Warnings: 18+, SMUT, M/F. Minors DNI // PWP, P!rn With Feelings. Phone sex, flirting, teasing, sexual innuendos, dirty talking, mentions of oral sex (m. receiving), masturbation (m. and f.), sexual fantasies, role-playing scenarios, librarian k!nk, mentions of rough sex. // Blink-and-you-miss-it angst, alcohol use, mentions of insomnia, anxiety and self esteem issues.

Word count: 3.8k

Read below the cut OR on AO3

Notes: Reader wears glasses in this - don't look at me like that, it's integral to the plot 🙄

For the history nerds, the quote at the beginning is from the book "Fire from Heaven" by Mary Renault, about the relationship between Alexander the Great and his friend and lover, Hephaestion.

Enjoy! As always, likes, comments and reblogs are very appreciated ♡

His feelings were confused; he wanted to grasp till Alexander's very bones were somehow engulfed within himself, but knew this to be wicked and mad; he would kill anyone who harmed a hair of his head…

… you yawned at the page you’d been reading (i.e., staring at without absorbing a single bit of information), before turning your head to the nightstand and seeing the clock mark 2:49 am.

“Good god”, you whispered, tiredly rubbing your face with one hand, while the other reached for the half-full glass of red wine keeping you company in your insomnia.

Technically, you knew drinking was the last thing you should be doing on a weeknight, when you were having a hard time falling asleep and were expected at work in the morning. But living alone was really not helping you behave like a responsible adult with bills to pay. So, you slowly sip your wine, read your book, and hope that eventually your brain will give up and allow you to pass out for at least a few hours.

Suddenly, your phone lights up with a text. Michael B., it says on the screen. A pang of excitement hits you, and you immediately scoff for reacting so earnestly to a text from a guy you’ve been with (not even biblically, just the daytime coffee dates that people with busy lives manage to pack into a crazy week) for a grand total of two times and less than two hours, overall. Not pathetic at all.

Still, you can’t help but reach for the phone.

Hey, I know it’s late and you probably won’t read this until morning, sorry. Wanna have dinner at that spot we talked about? I can pick you up at the office ;) – M.

You smile, and without really thinking, hit the call button.

He picks up quickly, an amused tone in his voice. “Well, I was not expecting that. What the hell are you still doing up, princess? No work tomorrow?”

You laugh. “God, I wish. I just can’t sleep. Haven’t had one of these nights in a while… my brain won’t shut up, even though I’m so tired I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck”.

“Ooof. That fucking sucks.”

“Yup.”

“Well, I’m glad to be your booty call in this desperate time.”

“Michael”, you laugh so hard you choke on some wine and must set the glass back on the table. “I really don’t think that’s what this is”.

“Oh, no?”, he feigns innocence.

“No…”, chuckling, you continue with the most sultry, mock-seductive voice you can muster “… a booty call is if I was like: Sooo, Mikey… are you, like, busy right now? Do you wanna… come over? I’m aaall alone…”.

You make sure to put particular emphasis on the word ‘come’ and Mike sounds like he is doubling over with laughter. “That was the worst proposition I have ever heard, no doubt”.

“Oh, yeah? Well, you’re officially off my booty call list. I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life.”

“Ah, shit… I fucked up now, didn’t I?”, you swear you can hear his grin from the other end of the line. And see the laugh lines that form on the corner of his eyes when he smiles genuinely, the rare but so cute nose crinkle that makes your belly flutter…

You would love to get a fucking grip, thank you very much, but the wine was making you incapable of keeping a level head in this flirtation.

“Well… all is not lost. Taking me out to dinner is a good start to redeem yourself. If your game is on point tomorrow, your booty call list status might be revised… in the not-so-far future”, you add, suggestively.

“Shit. Now the stakes are on. I gotta be on my best behavior tomorrow, then”.

“I don’t know about best behavior…”. You feel like slapping yourself for your lack of subtlety.

He chuckles. “So… you like them a little nasty, huh?”

You’re glad he can’t see you blush furiously. “Not like that… but I do like a man who isn’t afraid to… take what he wants. Respectfully, of course.”

“Of course… damn, girl. You’re getting me thinking about all sorts of things…”

“Well, you’re the one who started talking about booty calls. It’s technically your fault”.

“That’s fucking rich. I was being a gentleman, sent you a sweet text and all. Not a single sex reference!”, he says, proudly.

“Ok, that is true”, you concede, laughing softly. “Are you still at the restaurant?”

He sighs deeply. “Yeah… paperwork coming out of my eyeballs. I don’t even understand how the hell I organized this mess”. You hear rustling through the line, and imagine the mess of letters, invoices and bills that must be covering his office desk.

“That fucking sucks”.

“Word”. His chair squeaks loudly. “So… what are you wearing?”

You laugh. “You’re unbelievable”.

“What? I’m just trying to keep the conversation light, you know? Nobody wants to hear about my fuckin’ paperwork at 3 am”.

It was subtle, but you could sense something deeper in his words (sadness? self-deprecation?).

“I wouldn’t mind hearing about your ‘fuckin’ paperwork’ at any time of day, Michael”.

The line goes silent, and you fear you went too deep, too soon. Made this weird in record time, wow.

“I didn’t mean it like… I meant if you want to talk to me about your shitty day, you know, you can, but I don’t want you to be uncomf-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay sweetheart. I get it… thank you for that”, he says, softly. “Maybe some other time. Right now, I honestly just wanna forget about this for a little while... I was really pumped when you called”.

“That’s okay. Really?” You smile, relieved.

“Yeah, really. So… wanna make a guy happy and tell him what you’re wearing?”

With a chuckle, you concede. “Well, nothing. I’m in bed and I sleep naked, so… yeah”.

There’s a heavy pause. “Holy shit. Are you for real?”

“Um, yeah?”

“Jesus, fuck… baby, you can’t say stuff like that and expect me to be normal about it”.

You grin, having just decided that, actually, you wanna play dirty.

“Who says I want you to be normal about it? Besides”, you throw back, suggestively, “I hardly think a woman can be held accountable for what she says after four glasses of wine on a Thursday night… naked and alone, in such a big bed…”

“Now, see, that was a much better pitch for a booty call than the first o-”

“I’m gonna hang up.”

“No, no, no, I’m sorry”, he laughs.

“You’re an asshole”. Even as you say it, you’re smiling.

“And you are a minx, lady. Gettin’ a guy all worked up…”

“Oh, my... I don’t know what you mean…”, you whisper into the comforter, now balled up in your fist over your mouth, as if to cover up your blushing cheeks from an invisible audience.

“Oh, I disagree… I think you know exactly what you’re doing”. There’s a note of sarcasm in his voice you find exhilarating. A sudden noise – like a chair squeaking loudly on a panel floor – can be heard from his end. Followed by… a metallic rattle, more subtle but still clear. A… belt unbuckling?

Wait. Is he…?

You grin, amused. “Mr. Berzatto… I’m hearing suspicious noises. What is going on over there?”

A deep grunt. “Nothin’ much, sweetheart. Just making myself comfortable, is all”.

“And how exactly are you doing that, mister?”

“You know… freeing the junk.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “Well, that certainly helps set the mood”.

“Hm… baby, can I ask you for something? It’s totally fine if you don’t wanna do it… but I figure I might as well shoot my shot.”

You notice you are sitting up very still against the pillows in your bed, holding your breath in anticipation. “Sure… what is it?”

A heavy pause follows. Your heart feels like it’s about to beat itself out of your ribcage, your throat feels dry, and your tongue sits heavy and thick in your mouth, the taste of wine suddenly overpowering your senses. And you are so horny.

“Could you… send me a photo of you right now? Are you wearing those new glasses?”. He sounds… eager, almost nervous with the way he trips over the second question.

Oh. Something clicks for you, then. You smile. “So, you really liked the new glasses, huh?”

“Shit… c’mon, don’t bust my balls about it”, he says, with an embarrassed chuckle of admission.

“I’m not! It’s very flattering, actually”. You hope you conveyed how much you are not making fun of him. However, you hate misunderstandings, and to dispel any that might be going on here, you decide there is only one acceptable solution.

“Give me a minute”, you tell him, determined. You don’t wait for an answer before you drop your phone and get to work.

Meanwhile, Mikey sits in his rusty office chair, in what he thinks must look like a very… undignified position. Cock out, right hand stroking it lazily, slumped back with his jeans barely down his ass, work shirt dirty and stinking of cooking oil, his entire body tense in a mix of anticipation and shame. A part of him can’t help but wonder if you are fucking with him: laughing from the other end of the line, leaving him hanging – literally and figuratively (he chuckles dejectedly at the realization that he still remembers something from high school Lit class). He guesses he would kinda deserve that. What type of freak asks for nudes after two… dates? Do those rapid-fire coffee-grabs even count? He is so shit at this. Anything more than a casual hook-up or a quickie behind a sleezy pub is rocket science for him. ‘Congrats, loser! You just fucked it, yet again’.

Then, his phone pings. 5 photos received.

In the first one, you are lying on your side, in bed, a dim warm light illuminating the scene. He can see the contours of your body clearly, despite being covered by a layer of nearly sheer white sheets. His gaze follows your exposed collarbone, to the silhouette of your breasts – he is sure you purposefully allowed a bit of side-boob to slip past the entrapment of sheets… just for him.

He swears he could stare at the shapes of your body all day and never get tired – or limp. His dick is throbbing painfully, now.

It does not get better when he sees the rest of the photos. Your face is visible, on those. The last two are his favorites. You are laying on your stomach, with the reading glasses on, as promised – except they sit lower on your nose than usual, so that your eyes peak out from over the top of the frames. Your hair is down, tousled and wild like it’s just gotten messed up. ‘Is this what she looks like after…’. You are holding a glass of wine to your mouth – lips plump and lightly tinged red – that detail drives him a little insane –, and in front of you lays a book, delicately held open with your other hand. And in the last photo, the sheets have slipped lower down your breasts, revealing a generous cleavage. You’re staring directly at the camera with an inquiring gaze, biting your lower lip. ‘Come get me’.

“… Mike? Are you still there?”

It’s been some time since you sent the photos (twenty seconds, which your anxiety tells you is actually half an hour), with no reaction from him. Your cheeks heat up, and you suddenly feel very silly and insecure. Are they even… good? What makes a good nude? Do these even qualify as nudes? You’re not showing anything super explicit… they’re suggestive, at best. Is he going to think you’re a prude? God, why is this so diff-

Mike clears his throat. “Yeah, I… fuck. Fuckin’ hell. Holy shit. Sweetheart… these are so hot. Jesus… thank you so much. You’re so fuckin’ gorgeous…”. The last part comes out as a whisper, like he’s starstruck.  

You didn’t know it was possible to get more flustered than you already were. “You’re welcome… I’m flattered I managed to make Michael Berzatto incoherent over some low-res thirst trap selfies.”

“Baby, these are genuinely the hottest pics I’ve ever seen. You look like a hot librarian or something”.

You laugh out loud, triumphantly. “Ah! I knew it!”

“What?”, he laughs along.

“Something you wanna share with the class, Mr. Berzatto?”.

“Fuck, don’t stop calling me that, sweetheart”, he says, sounding out of breath.

“Yeah?”, you whisper.

“Fuck, yeah. It’s just… I’ve got a thing for girls with a kinda nerdy, librarian type of vibe, you know? And when I saw you this last time, holding a book and wearing your reading glasses… I gotta admit, my mind went straight to the gutter.”

Interesting. “Really? What did you imagine then?”.

A pause. “I’m not sure you want to hear it… I don’t want you thinking I’m a pervert or something”.

You sigh. “Mikey, I just sent you near-naked photos of me. We’re having phone sex. We are two horny adults having fun. Besides…”, you switch your tone to what you hope comes across as faux innocence, “… I asked you about it. It is kinda my fault, right? I guess I was kind of… bad”.

“Oh, is that what’s happening?”. He chuckles, as if saying challenge accepted. “Alright, then. When I saw you like that for the first time, this image popped into my head, right? I mean, you looked like a really hot librarian. So, I started picturing you in that scenario, with big glasses and all – just like the photos you sent me… except you had your hair in a cute ponytail, and your lips were even redder with lipstick… and you were wearing fishnet stockings up to your thighs – fuck, you got such nice legs, baby –, and you had a pair of those… what are they called. Uh, kitten heels. Yeah. Fuck, your ass would look unbelievable like that. I mean, it is unbelievable, you know what I mean? When you show up at the restaurant wearing those cute little dresses and skirts, I feel my dick twitching in my pants… that’s how hot you are, baby… that’s how crazy you make me feel.”

His words were streaming out like an avalanche – a filthy stream-of-consciousness. Flash images of all the times you were together pop into your mind. He was always nice and polite to you, if cheeky – that was his personality, after all. You’d never felt disrespected or threatened around him. Maybe that’s why, now that you knew he had been actively thinking about you like this… you were very turned on.

“Too much, sweetheart? You wanna keep listening to this filth?”

“… yeah, Mikey. Keep going. What happened then?”

“Then, I took you to a hidden corner in the library, rucked up your pretty little skirt and ripped your real nice dress shirt open… you know, so I could suck on your tits while I fucked you hard against some shelves. Didn’t even need to rip your panties off, ‘cause you weren’t wearing any. Just lifted you up and slammed my cock right into your pussy… God, you were drippin’ wet for me, and you mewled so sweetly… loud, too. Had to shove my fingers into your pretty mouth to keep you quiet. That’s what I imagined, sweetheart. More or less.”

The crass and vivid way in which he described his fantasy made you speechless. It was exhilarating. Knowing that all those times he had talked to you with a straight face, he had been actively fantasizing about fucking you hard. His words.

“Jesus Christ, Mikey”, you breathe out. “That’s… I can’t believe we had entire conversations while you had a cheap porn flick playing in your head”, you laugh softly, unconvincingly.

He sighed deeply. “See, I knew this was a bad idea… honey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like shit. I guess I’m just a fucking perv-”

“Babe…”, you interrupt him, gentle, but firm, “shut up, please. I’m messing with you. I told you, it’s very flattering that you’re attracted to me. In fact… it’s super hot. Knowing you were having all those dirty thoughts about me while still being a gentleman… is making me feel all kinds of things, right now.”

“Yeah? What kinds of things?”

“Good things, Mikey… I’m so wet right now”, you mewl, the need for release in your core overwhelming the embarrassment you would be feeling otherwise. Without thinking, you kick the sheets away from your body and cup one of your breasts, kneading it and flicking your nipple – a moan leaves your mouth in a desperate plea.

“Fuck”, he whispers, “you got wet over that filth? Jesus Christ, baby. I won the fuckin’ lottery”.

You are burning with desire, and you can feel your pussy throbbing when you finally give in, sliding one hand down and shoving two fingers inside with barely any resistance. “Mikey… I wanna come so bad. Can you talk me through it… please?”

“Fuck… yeah, sweetheart, anything you want”. He moans, then, and you don’t think you have ever been so turned on in your life. Mikey Berzatto, a horny, moaning mess, jerking off in his mess of an office at 3 am… because of you.

Chicago’s Helen of Troy. You chuckled softly at the thought and decided to up the ante. “Baby… do you know what I was thinking when you were telling that beautiful story just now?”

He laughs, voice recked. “What, baby?”

You pout, and add another finger in, increasing the pace of the thrusts. “I wish you had pictured kissing me real hard, while I unbuckled your belt… would you let me get down on my knees for you, baby? I really wanna have you in my mouth, Mikey, like, right now”. Your words come out broken, sentences all messed up – you sound pathetic, but you are so past caring.

“Shit-”, a gasp, followed by a deep breath and the noise of something hitting a surface really hard. “… holy shit. Baby, I imagined all that and a whole lot more – seriously, you have no idea. Hell, if the lady wants to suck my dick, who am I to deny her, uh? Fuck. Would you let me fuck your mouth, baby…?”

You moan loudly at that and realize you need both hands, putting the phone on speaker – fuck the neighbors – and bringing your other hand to your clit, rubbing lightly, but fast. You were so close. The thought of kneeling on the floor, clothes and hair all messed up from Mikey’s hands, lipstick smudged… looking up at him, and watching his composure unravel because of you…

“Hm… yeah, Mikey, I think I would… ‘cause you’re so nice to me… such a gentleman, even when you’re fucking me hard… would you ask me real nice, baby? Hold my face gently in your big hands, while you fuck it?”

“Fuck, baby… I would treat you so right, you deserve everything-”, he chokes up and, for a few moments, you hear a distant cacophony of noises, like he’s put the phone down. Then, he’s back. “Sorry, sweetheart, I need both hands now”, he chuckles.

You giggle, “Me too… you got me so hot I’m fucking myself on my fingers and rubbing my clit at the same time… and it’s still not enough. I need you…”

“Fuck, that’s so hot. You fuckin’ yourself because of me… I know it’s not enough, baby… you need my cock, don’t you?”

“Yes! Mikey… please…”, you howl, completely out of your mind.

“How do you want me to fuck you, baby? Hm? Want it nice and slow? Nah… I think you like it fast and rough, don’t you? Long as I keep kissing you real good, touchin’ you real gentle, all over your body… you’d let me do anything to you, wouldn’t you?”. How he manages to say such filthy things with so much honey dripping from every syllable, is beyond you.

“Yeah, fuck, baby… it doesn’t matter. I’m so wet already, you don’t need to do anything else, just hoist me up in your arms and pin me against the shelves… and shove it in me”.

You are still holding onto a shred of decency because you blush at your own crass admission – still, there is clearly not a whole lot left, as you start rubbing your clit and fucking yourself harder and faster. “I don’t want you to be gentle when you fuck me… I just need to feel your cock stretch me open… wanna feel the sting of it for days, be at work and not be able to focus because all I can think about is how you fucked me so good-”

At this point, you have no idea if he can understand anything you’re saying, because your words are intercut with moans and gasps and mewls and incoherent babble, as you’re about to reach your peak imagining Mikey’s on top of you, railing you into the bed.

“Baby, I’m gonna come… fuckin’ Christ”.

“Mikey- fuck!”.

Your body shakes and your eyes roll back from the strength of your orgasm. Distantly, your brain registers a broken string of moans and curses from the other end of the line.

A few seconds pass, and you feel yourself coming back down to Earth. You lazily stretch out on the bed, completely relaxed and fucked out. “That’s so cute… we came at the same time, babe”, you happily whisper, a ditsy smile on your face.

He huffs, amused “Yeah… what can I say? I’m a romantic at heart”.

You laugh sincerely. “This was… so good, actually. I’m glad I gave into my instinct and called you”.

“Well, I’m even more sticky now”. You both laugh at that. “But I’m also glad you called… like, really glad. Uh, can I ask you something?”

You notice a shift in his voice.

“Yeah… what is it?”

“I don’t want things to get weird between us after this… Like, I don’t want you to feel like you need to do all these things to get me off. You know what I mean? It’s just a fantasy… I’ll have you in any way you want me. Okay?”

You feel a tightness in your chest, and you wish, not for the first time tonight, you had him right in front of you so you could kiss him all over and hug him.

“Mikey… I genuinely liked tonight. And the more we talk, the more I like you. You’re not the only one who feels like you won the lottery…”.

“Baby… you’re too sweet. Don’t you think you already got me blushing enough for one night?”

“That’s fucking rich. I must’ve gone through all shades of red tonight, because of your filthy mouth”.

“Please. You loved it”, he chuckles.

“Yeah, I guess I did”, you concede, with a smile.

After saying goodbye – and confirming that yes, you would very much like for him to pick you up and take you to dinner later – you fall asleep fast, your mind finally catching up to the pleasant tiredness in your body, a soft smile on your lips.

[zedecksiew]

How To Play The Revolution

So: I do not like the idea of TTRPGs making formal mechanics designed to incentivise ethical play.

But, to be honest, I do not like the idea of any single game pushing any particular formal mechanics about ethical play at all.

So here I am, trying to think through the reasons why, and proposing a solution. (Sort of. A procedure, really.)

+

Assumptions:

1.

Some genres of game resist ethical play. A grand strategy game dehumanises people into census data. The fun of a shooter is violence. This is truest in videogames, but applies to tabletop games also.

Games can question their own ethics, to an extent. Terra Nil is an anti-city-builder. But it is a management game at heart, so may elide critiques of "efficiency = virtue".

Not all games should try to design for ethical play. I believe games that incentivise "bad" behaviour have a lot to teach us about those behaviours, if you approach them with eyes open.

2.

The systems that currently govern our real lives are terrible: oligarchy, profit motive; patriarchy, nation-states, ethno-centrisms. They fuel our problems: class and sectarian strife, destruction of climate and people, spiritual desertification.

They are so total that the aspiration to ethical behaviour is subsumed by their logics. See: social enterprise; corpos and occupying forces flying rainbow flags; etc.

Nowadays, when I hear "ethical", I don't hear "we remember to be decent". I hear "we must work to be better". Good ethics is radical transformation.

3.

If a videogame shooter crosses a line for you, your only real response is to stop playing. This is true for other mechanically-bounded games, like CCGs or boardgames.

In TTRPGs, players have the innate capability to act as their own referees. (even in GM-ed games adjudications are / should be by consensus.) If you don't like certain aspects of a game, you could avoid it---but also you could change it.

Only in TTRPGs can you ditch basic rules of the game and keep playing.

+

So:

D&D's rules are an engine for accumulation: more levels, more power, more stuff, more numbers going up.

If you build a subsystem in D&D for egalitarian action, but have to quantify it in ways legible to the game's other mechanical parts---what does that mean? Is your radical aspiration feeding into / providing cover for the game's underlying logics of accumulation?

At the very least it feels unsatisfactory---"non-representative of what critique / revolution entails as a rupture," to quote Marcia, in conversations we've been having around this subject, over on Discord.

How do we imagine and represent rupture, to the extent that the word "revolution" evokes?

My proposal: we rupture the game.

+++

How To Play The Revolution

Over the course of play, your player-characters have decided to begin a revolution:

An armed struggle against an invader; overturning a feudal hierarchy; a community-wide decision to abandon the silver standard.

So:

Toss out your rule book and sheets.

And then:

Keep playing.

You already know who your characters are: how they prefer to act; what they are capable of; how well they might do at certain tasks; what their context is. You and your group are quite capable of improv-ing what happens next.

Of course, this might be unsatisfactory; you are here to play a TTRPG, after all. Structures are fun. Therefore:

Decide what the rules of your game will be, going forward.

Which rules you want to keep. Which you want to discard. Jury-rig different bits from different games. Shoe-horn a tarot deck into a map-making game---play that. Be as comprehensive or as freeform as you like. Patchwork and house-rule the mechanics of your new reality.

The god designer will not lead you to the revolution. You broke the tyranny of their design. You will lead yourself. You, as a group, together. The revolution is DIY.

+++

Notes:

This is mostly a thought experiment into a personal obsession. I am genuinely tempted to write a ruleset just so I can stick the above bit into it as a codified procedure.

I am tickled to imagine how the way this works may mirror the ways revolutions have played out in history.

A group might already have alternative ruleset in mind, that they want to replace the old ruleset with wholesale. A vanguard for their preferred system.

Things could happen piecemeal, progressively. Abandon fiat currency and a game's equipment price list. Adopt pacifism and replace the combat system with an alternative resolution mechanic. As contradictions pile up, do you continue, or revert?

Discover that the shift is too uncomfortable, too unpredictable, and default back to more familiar rules. The old order reacting, reasserting itself.

+

I keep returning to this damn idea, of players crossing thresholds between rulesets through the course of play. The Revolution is a rupture of ethical reality like Faerie or the Zone is a rupture in geography.

But writing all this down is primarily spurred by this post from Sofinho talking about his game PARIAH and the idea that "switching games/systems mid-session" is an opportunity to explore different lives and ethics:

Granted this is not an original conceit (I'm not claiming to have done anything not already explored by Plato or Zhuangzi) but I think it's a fun possibility to present to your players: dropping into a parallel nightmare realm where their characters can lead different lives and chase different goals.

+

Jay Dragon tells me she is already exploring this idea in a new game, Seven Part Pact:

"the game mechanics are downright oppressive but also present the capacity to sunder them utterly, so the only way to behave ethically is to reject the rules of the game and build something new."

VINDICATION! If other designers are also thinking along these lines this means the idea isn't dumb and I'm not alone!

+++

( Images:

https://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/developer-diary/victoria-3-dev-diary-23-fronts-and-generals.1497106/

https://www.thestranger.com/race/2017/04/05/25059127/if-you-give-a-cop-a-pepsi

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WarGames

https://nobonzo.com/

https://pangroksulap.com/about/ )

[savagewildnerness]

The Vampire Lestat notes...

OK, so I am taking part in a The Vampire Lestat read along on Discord (organised by @old-long-john& @inkyblotposts!)

Don’t expect me to be this in detail every week as I absolutely cannot… but I realised I went SO in detail with my notes/thoughts on my read of the first part that I can’t share it all on Discord! Hahaha!  So, instead, I’ll post it here, link it there and maybe you’d like to discuss here too? Look, I don't do things by halves, OK!? So did I write nearly as many notes as there likely are words in this part of the book? Maybe... And...?!?!?!?! But this is my Tumblr and so I can post the notes in full here and what's more, I WILL!

Introduction:

I enjoy how out-of-touch with 'the youth' of the 1980's Lestat sounds and I hope that the TV show retains this in some way. Lestat, of course, would be pretty out of place in the modern era in some ways in how he speaks, particularly given that it seems the majority of the last century he's been hibernating with a plank piano and an iPad..?

Lestat says that "there was a romance" to modern music and I'm so curious if that's how he'll feel about some kind of modern music now, or, whether Lestat’s rock star career will just be 100% about Louis on the TV show?

"the way electricity could stretch a single note forever; the way harmony could be layered upon harmony until you felt yourself dissolving in the sound. So eloquent of dread it was, this music." - This reads to me like a musical description of vampirism?!

It makes me laugh when we juxtapose how Louis and Lestat describe how broken and scared of everything he is in his wilderness years in the books... yet Lestat here is like "Yeah, I was a bit scared... but in THREE DAYS I was roaring around on a motorbike...!" hahahah... I don't know whether to believe you or not, Lestat?! I also note here that it's impossible for Lestat's strength to have increased like it has here in the book on TV as he's already too strong on the show for that!

Quote I thought might be used on the show - "All people had a right to love and to luxury and to graceful things.”

Potential episode title - "Pure evil has no real place."

Surely this quote will be on tv… “It was enough to make an Old World monster go back into the earth, this stunning irrelevance to the mighty scheme of things, enough to make him lie down and weep. Or enough to make him become a rock singer, when you think about it…”

I was interested how Lestat describes how he jams with the musicians. Will The Vampire Lestat's music incorporate old French songs and brutal rhythms - eerie and disjointed music, as Lestat describes his playing?

"When I Iose my confidence, my powers drain." Found that interesting…

We'd better see Lestat standing stock still beneath a street light, whipping through IWTV at an insane speed till he exasperatedly tears it to shreds on TV!

Lestat dreams of "unprecedented rebellion, a great and horrific change to my kind all over the world." !!!

Lestat had better use the phrase "A velvet-lined motor coach" on telly! MAKE IT SO ROLIN! Please!

The ache for Louis Lestat has - for “his romantic illusions”, “his gentlemanly malice and his physical presence, the deceptively soft sound of his voice.”

There's a self-destructive excitement to how Lestat talks of being hunted and known "as no mythic monster has ever been fought by man before.”

Lestat's psychology… “How could I not love it, the mere idea of it?  How could it not be worth the greatest danger, the greatest and most ghastly defeat?  Even at the moment of destruction, I would be alive as I have never been.”

Lelio Rising.

So first of all… I noted the timeline as I went this time:

Lestat kills the wolves aged 20 (he specifically states that he is 20 on p38 if you have the new UK paperback version of the book… “The Winter of my 21st year” - your first year you are aged 0… when you turn 1 that is your second year.  So Lestat’s 21st year is from the day he turns 20 until the day before he turns 21.

As far as I can tell, all of Lelio Rising takes place when Lestat is 20 (apart from the flashbacks when he is younger.)  Lestat meets Nicolas and they begin their conversation as Winter turns to Spring in the year he is 20…. He first performs as Lelio in late-August of the year he is 20… and he talks of seeing Magnus in October of that year… soon after which, he is made a vampire.  Thus, I think Lestat will have been made a vampire weeks/days before he turns 21.  I’d personally like to imagine it happens on Halloween.

Regarding Lestat’s family… Gabrielle has 8 children.  The oldest boy is Augustin… there is one girl, but we don’t even know where she came in the birth order.  Lestat is the youngest boy.  Only one more boy survives… a boy whom for whatever reason, Lestat doesn’t mention by name even once!!?!

How Lestat self-describes: The dreamer, the angry one, the complainer, the hunter, unhappy, ferocious, a wild creature, bitter (haha, I typed BUTTER first!)

OK… on to the chapter!

The book starts describing the Winter and I was struck by how later in the chronicles, Lestat will often dream of this snow and how this bitter Winter is the opposite of death for a vampire - who die in fire or The Sun…

“In the winter of my twenty-first year, I went out alone on horseback to kill a pack of wolves.”  Wouldn’t that have been magnificent as the actual first line of the novel?!  Just saying…!  I mean, it kind of *is* the first line!  I wonder if Anne wrote the introduction first, or this?

Lestat being brought back with his wings broken made me see Nicolas’ mind-bird in my mind.

“White-wigged Parisians in high-heeled satin slippers” was so redolent of Louis and Lestat at the Mardis Gras ball in S1 to me.

“Though I speak of them as dogs now, they were known only by their names to me then.”  What a beautiful, sideways way of expressing what the dogs meant to Lestat.

I love how hunter-Lestat is described almost like a beast himself and it makes me so excited to see this on screen.  I also love the way he understands the wolves’ strategy - thinking like the wolves think.  We’re gonna see a FLAIL, folks!

Lestat’s horse’s death is the first truly gothic description…. It always makes me wonder too whether that Lestat found it in himself to kill his horse in mercy for her suffering isn’t as much a reason for Magnus to pay attention to him as the fact that he killed the wolves? Also I’ve begun to notice Anne Rice loves to compare things to insects…

When Augustin says Lestat didn’t kill the wolves, then retracts it & Lestat says the next thing he knew he was lying alone in his room… I mean… it can be read at face value, but I also wonder - is there something that happened here that Lestat doesn’t write?  And if so, might the TV show go there?

Breaking the bullet points up as tumblr won't let me post...

I noticed a lot of what Lestat will later seek in his relationships and how he is in relationships in his relationship with Gabrielle.  Gabrielle is not a touching-person, but the moments she allows a tiny bit of conversation… it leans into me thinking of Lestat and Nicolas’ conversation… the way she gives him gifts and *things* when he struggles… it creates Lestat the gift-giver, it seems to me…?  This is how he is shown love and so this is how he learns to give love.  The way withdraws surely creates Lestat’s sense of being “too much” as much as his Father and brother telling him his is ‘wrong’ does?

“I wanted to be enclosed forever with people who believed I could be good if I wanted to be.” - I wonder if the TV show will go down the route of Lestat’s quest for goodness?  I hope so!  At this time, I think 12-year-old Lestat found goodness in the order of the monastery versus the chaos he felt in the family castle (haha, the family castle!) And I also feel like he felt goodness in being made “ordered” rather than “chaotic” himself.  However, I don’t think Lestat would have been happy in the end in so restrictive a place, much as I am sure he would have loved learning.

Gabrielle buys Lestat his first mastiff puppies, a good horse and a rifle when he is 12.  She creates Lestat-the-hunter.  She later will say she feels Lestat is the man in her, the man she cannot be in this era.  And she literally chooses what Lestat will be.  She doesn’t teach him to read, even though she knows his curiosity to learn, even from the way he talks.  No, she decides the boy will become a hunter and so Lestat does.  Becoming a hunter is also something that will bond him more tightly to his home.  It’s not something that’s ever going to lead to a route to escape for him.  Teaching Lestat to read might have led to Lestat fleeing for Paris far sooner…. I don’t know.  Gabrielle will later say she kept Lestat prisoner as surely as his Father and brothers and I really felt that on this re-read…. Even when Lestat runs away with the theatre at 16 and so Gabrielle truly then knows how Lestat wants to escape… what does she buy him?  A fancier rifle.  A thing to keep him more tightly where he is, hunting here for the family.  She begins to talk to Lestat in conversation.  But it’s like she’s placating on both sides - so Lestat will stop getting beaten (to keep him here) and so he’ll have just-enough mental stimulation to keep him where he is too: here with her…?  I understand it from her perspective.  Imagine how alone she’d be otherwise.  But it’s interesting to me.

“The silent ebb and flow of life felt deadly to me.” - surely Lestat will say this on TV?

I got annoyed thinking about Lestat playing Harlequin as I read the Commedia Dell’ Arte talking about how an actor plays a single role for life… although… metaphorically, could we say Lestat truly *is* kind of playing Lelio for life once he is immortal?!

After Lestat returns from the theatre, this is when he really begins to despair and to believe he will never be free.  I was struck by how he says he becomes more useful in this time.  Isn’t it often the way - with no hope for his own future, he sinks into the role of provider and caregiver and the only way he can ‘be good’…. It also makes me think how in the future, when in despair, Lestat will rush to *do* some mad scheme or other.

Hahaha at Lestat valuing his Mother’s physical beauty as having inherent value, the vain little irritant!

I did wonder, when Lestat tells Gabrielle how he dreams of killing his family… given how they have made all the characters worse on the show, I really HOPE they don’t make Lestat LITERALLY kill his family.  It crossed my mind that they *could*… PLEASE DO NOT.  I don’t think they will as it counters the ensuing conversation, but I had a sudden flash of FEAR!

This conversation though, Gabrielle takes Lestat seriously.  She always takes Lestat seriously, which I love her for.  Much as I believe Gabrielle doesn’t love Lestat enough… I think it’s probably pretty rare and a very special thing for a parent to take the thoughts of their child and who they are so seriously and not to dismiss them?

Gabrielle seems to love Lestat more now he’s 20 as she can see him as a man rather than as her son.  She likes to talk to him as if he were not her son.  She hates to be called Mother.  She seems to love to feel him as a comrade.  And I will say here that if I feel Lestat isn’t loved enough by Gabrielle… his brothers… she literally despises them.  I know they seem awful, but imagine not receiving even one iota of love in your entire life from your mother, which must be their experience.

“You don’t have to take upon yourself the burden of murder or madness to be free of this place.  Surely there must be other ways.” - This is the spark that makes Lestat first believe he might not have to be obedient in order to be “good”.

I love Gabrielle’s quote “I am purely myself.  I belong to no one.”

I love too that even in this introduction we get Lestat the hunter, the killer juxtaposed with Lestat the aesthete and Lestat the thinker, feeler and (he wishes!) learner…

Little break, because my favourite time is now starting - it’s Nicolas time!

Lestat describes Nicolas (at different times) as: a vision, witty, dismissive, sneering, excited, sarcastic, intelligent, melancholy, cynical, bitter, full of energy, passionate, handsome, ironical, sad, scornful, mocking, miserable, weary, dejected.

Will Nicolas say “I too am impossible, Monsieur.  Only the impossible can do the impossible.”  Surely he will, and surely “Only the impossible can do the impossible” will be the title of the episode where Lestat kills the wolves?

Lovely foreshadowing that Gabrielle says Nicolas was inspired to play violin by watching a virtuoso so impressive people said he sold his soul to the devil and then suggests that maybe Nicki can do the same.  “I laughed a little uneasily.  It sounded tragic.”  Oh Lestat, you have NO IDEA!!!!!

Will Mozart be in S3?  I HOPE SO (& think so!!?!).  And Marie Antoinette, too!  Surely!

Obviously we’ll hear Nicki’s Father was threatening to break his hands for the foreshadowing too!

“I think I loved him already, doing what he wanted like that.”  A few pages later… “I think I loved him.”  Lestat falls hard and fast, like love at first sight.

I just want to add here that it’s an absolutely ridiculous concept that Nicolas STARTS playing the violin aged 20 and immediately is able to be as good as he gets!  He might feel he can never be good enough… but he must be literally a genius if he’s become even that good at the violin when he’d never even picked one up a year ago! How do you think playing an instrument works, Anne?!?!?!?!  You just pick it up and instantly - BAM you not only can just do it, but you’re great!  If only!  And Mozart is willing to take on a complete beginner as a pupil, too?!

In Lestat and Nicolas’ first conversation, it feels to me as though Lestat is infecting Nicolas with his light and optimism and it really made me understand how much Nicolas truly did need Lestat - like he is Nicolas’ hope.  Until…. (We’ll return here later in the book!)

I wonder how the fact that Lestat is born in The Enlightenment - a new age of Reason will impact how he is portrayed on the show?  Obviously we’ve seen already how it’ll affect Armand!

When Nicolas brings up The Witches’ Place, Lestat doesn’t immediately remember - as if he has repressed the memory as it is traumatic.  I need The Witches Place on TV, but I can’t imagine how we can get to it?  Nicolas would have either not yet been born or have been a baby when this happened, so he cannot remind Lestat; Gabrielle would absolutely never bring up such a story in retrospect… and Lestat has repressed the memory… so how can we now get to The Witches’ Place?  Also, I find it interesting that Lestat says Nicki studies him as they talk about this… to ascertain how Lestat feels about it now?

I spoke of Lestat’s love for Nicolas, but when Nicolas is saying “Ah, you are a dreamer! My lord, the wolfkiller.” It feels Nicolas loves Lestat as well.  And of course, Nicolas also says “I love you” to Lestat, in Paris.  I love how, in this first conversation they both discover what it is to be truly known by another being - in how they share their lives and their longings and their dissatisfactions and they truly listen to and empathise with each other.  It definitely feels like (beyond his Mother, who really was more sporadic in her attention), this is Lestat’s first experience of truly being seen by another being.

“I think I was happier than I had ever been in my life.”  Lestat is so joyous here.  When he hears Nicolas play for the first time, he kisses Nicolas on both cheeks and then the violin!  You can just imagine the infectious joy!  And it’s such a contrast to how Lestat is afraid to touch his Mother

Lestat then (of course!) promptly cries!  (Is Sam’s Lestat going to burst into tears as often as Lestat describes it, because get him ten thousand gallons of water to drink - he’ll need them!!!!  Lestat also cries at the most random moments… but we know Sam is up to the task!) Nicolas seems deeply moved too that his music had this effect.  Perhaps Nicolas initially expected to find a kindred spirit in ferocity and rebellion in Lestat?  And he did!  But he found a match in sensitivity too.

As conversations go on, Lestat and Nicolas find their differences with opposing worldviews and interestingly they often clash about the goodness inherent in art… and yet they then come together in art (for example as Nicki plays violin and Lestat dances…)

The idea to go to Paris actually comes from Nicolas - he is the instigator.  And it feels like they are both, at this point trying to escape the meaninglessness of life.

Lestat’s “Oh, oh, oh!” crisis moment really reminds me of… *warning - slight spoiler for first time readers* what Lestat will later see in Nicolas’ mind… and it gives a different vibe to things to know that Nicolas is Lestat’s comforter in this moment and tries to relieve Lestat’s pain, but basically this is Nicolas’ mind 100% of the time.

“It was not better in the morning.”  In fact this existential crisis, his malady of mortality becomes Lestat’s eternal yearning ache of questioning than can never be fully assuaged (maybe on the TV show, the answer will be - Louis’ love.)  It never goes away, and any time someone describes Lestat as just FUN, I think back to this - because at the core of Lestat (and as I see it, at the core of The Vampire Chronicles) is this terror that existence is meaningless and that no life has any meaning at all.  That there are no answers we’ll ever receive, not even when we die.  That there will be no retribution or reward or even knowledge in any way.  That all there is is existence and non-existence.  This will obviously only be heightened once Lestat becomes a vampire, so must take life in order to survive and force countless souls into non-existence…. In in fact, Lestat’s focus on death and chaos has this nihilistic hint to it which is so the opposite to how Lestat is generally perceived.. and, admittedly how he tries to come across, too!  Lestat says he doesn’t believe in presentiments, but narratively this all is a presentiment and literally it is to be Lestat’s eternal malady of immortality as well.

I had some very personal thoughts at this point, when Lestat goes about questioning everyone… which perhaps I won’t share….  Well just to say that sometimes when something big happens in your life, you literally see the world in a different way.  I am thinking on a time when all of a sudden I began to look at people & it felt like I could *see* the weariness of their souls and internal fragilities, just looking at strangers’ faces and it was really unnerving and overwhelming, especially going about in crowds…

“Drew me as strongly as it scared me.”  Isn’t this always the way?  I hope the writers always have this quote in mind throughout the entire show’s creation!

It’s interesting that before Lestat heads to Paris he is now toning down how much he tells Gabrielle and instead it is Nicki he will fully open up with.

I love the part where Lestat hugs Gabrielle and she gives herself over to him and he witnesses her cry for the first time and loves it.  I had a very similar experience with my Dad once when I was a child, heading into being a teen and I can still conjure the scene and how it felt… and I felt similarly about it too…

At the end of chapter 6 it seems Gabrielle is saying she’s always lived vicariously through Lestat & now in sending him away as she’s dong, she hopes to continue to live vicariously through him still in some way as she approaches what she thinks will be her death?  Reading this time gave me big Magnus vibes in how he perceives Lestat too… weird!  Like somehow, both seem to desire to live vicariously through Lestat?  Could we even say it of Nicolas too, in a way?  He needs Lestat, to feed on his capacity for joy… hmm… I don’t know… I’m thinking as I type…

I love the feeling of freedom and optimism when Lestat and Nicolas first arrive in Paris  - the true start of living life!

And yet, Lestat still talks of his trembling, terrifying existential dread that settles upon him every night and which Nicolas tries to encourage him to let go.

Vampires have preternatural ability to mimic, but as described, Lestat already learned in this way it seems, in the theatre.  I love how he describes his fear evaporating and how he loved being on stage.  I love his determination and how convinced he is he will be a great actor.  I love how Lestat and Nicolas are described here and there’s a tantalising feeling of how their future might be…

The Autumn arrives with it’s personification of Dread.

Malady of mortality surely has to be an episode title?

When Lestat wraps he and Nicki together in his cloak against the show and rain, it feels simultaneously real and metaphorically poignant.

Lestat genuinely thinks if he could just get Nicki to understand the truth Lestat feels certain of (goodness in art and making others happy through your art), all would be well, but Nicolas still believes goodness can only come from obedience and self-sacrifice and denial and, thus, he knows himself to be evil.

“Light and beauty come together in you in a thousand different patterns” is such a beautiful thing Lestat says to Nicolas.

Nicki’s final words to mortal Lestat are a soft “Let’s go to bed.”  (Do you think show-Lestat will be ripped out of post-coital Nicolas’ arms..?)

Finally: Questions:

At the start of TVL, Lestat has been In The Earth. Do you think he will have been In The Earth in this era on the TV show? (As Louis has seen him pretty recently, which makes it seem like perhaps he won’t have been?)

The ‘spirit’ of 1984 reminds Lestat of the 1700’s. Will there be anything about the 2020’s that Lestat will associate with/that will remind him of the late eighteenth century?

“I did a lot of thinking about this sinless, secular morality, this optimism” - will this be a driving force for modern day Lestat? What will he think about in relation to right now?

What music will Lestat listen to? He listens to a lot of Bach when he first rises in the book (while driving his Harley-Davidson.  Is there a security both in the structure of Bach and in the fact his music is from an era predating even mortal Lestat that makes Lestat feel safer entering the modern era?

Lestat talks about coming back after killing the wolves and feeling that he was ‘not-Lestat’, so I thought we could discuss - did killing the wolves change Lestat, and if so: how?

When Lestat goes into a depression post-killing-the-wolves, is this essentially a human version of “Going into The Earth” as Lestat will do numerous times as a vampire?

How will the French Revolution impact the TV telling?

When Lestat talks of how he could have poisoned meat to kill the wolves, but meat was too scarce… is he in a veiled way saying that his life has less value than a piece of meat?

“I don’t think I felt the slightest fear then.  But I felt something, and it caused the hair to rise up on the back of my arms.” What exactly is the “something” Lestat feels when he sets out to kill the wolves?  And why is he not afraid? Bravery? His hunting spirit? His impulsive, adventurous nature? Stupidity? Naivety? Only feeling truly alive in moments that contain the potential for death? A lack of care whether he lives or dies (borne of despair}?

Reading the wolves section, with the dying animals and even after this too when Lestat talks of his ignored/thwarted farming plans for his family’s land… It made me wonder, just a curious ponder - if Sam might have had any experiences in real life connected to any of this stuff, given his family’s line of work…?

Is performing with the theatre troupe at 16 the first time Lestat truly feels pure joy - he describes it as ecstasy?

How can we now get to The Witches’ Place if Nicki can’t have witnessed child-Lestat there, Gabrielle would never tell the story and Lestat has repressed the memory…?

[inkdemonapologist]

are you excited for the big role sammy's going to play in Cage?? im apprehensive... i love him a feral amount and i was real disappointed with his 2 seconds of screentime in BatDR

also just saying ur sammy drawings give me life he looks wonderful in hats

brought to u by ⭐️ anon

Hehehe aw thank you!! :D

There’s a lot of things in Dark Revival I ended up disappointed about, but despite my love of Sammy Lawrence, Sammy barely appearing was not really one of them. At the time, I’d commented to friends that the complete lack of Sammy mentions in the hype leading up to BatDR meant he was either very important or had only a cameo appearance, and I was actually pretty delighted about the Cyclebreaker cameo – it’s a moment that takes him startlingly seriously, that wasn’t just him quoting one of his four catch phrases; it’s... a kind of moment we haven’t seen from Sammy before. The part where he gets shot was like, where my expectations were, so the cyclebreaker thing was a pleasant surprise.

But like, ever since The Cage was announced… we knew Sammy kind of had to be in it. Like, Henry says “how did WE escape” and it’s set in the SPECIFIC place and time that Sammy also is; literally the only reason for Sammy to not be a significant character is if the creators actually didn’t want anything to do with him. So I have to admit the announcement that WE CAN CONFIRM that SAMMY WILL PLAY A MAJOR ROLE IN THE CAGE!!!!!!! RESTORED TO HIS CHAPTER 2 CREEPY GLORY! is just…… ugh, it’s hard to articulate why this tweet frustrates me so much.

Like………………….. "he's in it more" is not the only thing people care about, surely! What is he doing? What is his role in all this? What does he even WANT? In a review, "he's back to his chapter 2 creepy glory" would be a powerful recommendation; in a tweet from the creator right after preorders go up, it feels more like, "Hey, remember the thing you wanted? we DEFINITELY did that thing you wanted and we did it SUPER WELL so preorder our game please!!" Give us an intriguing line of dialogue or a hint about what he's doing (opposing you? helping you? uneasy truce? trying to find bendy?) and you wouldn't even need to promise us that he plays a major role; we'd be curious to learn more.

So this reassurance ends up doing the opposite, for me, because I still don't know if the creators even understand what I like about Sammy. The thing is that the circumstances of BatDR (there's a little Bendy running around, the Ink Demon is claimed dead but actually it's not, Wilson is trying to become the Lost Ones' new Big Brother) could've been INCREDIBLY relevant to Sammy -- that's why people wanted him to show up in BatDR, to see what he thinks of these developments and how he would react to them!! So if you're interested in Sammy, the character, then it would not be hard to hint at like, what his deal is – "Sammy knows the Ink Demon is out there somewhere and Henry is the key to finding him" or "after the disappearance of his Lord he's become a desperate man who's as much an obstacle as an ally" or even "Sammy was defiant when he went into the Pit -- what will Henry find when he encounters him now?" or w/e -- simply insisting HES LIKE HE WAS IN CHAPTER TWO, THE ONE YOU GUYS LIKE instead of being able to think of a single character-based hint that we might find compelling is, tbh, rather un-reassuring!!!

My complaint about Twisted Alice’s role in BatDR was that ultimately, it felt like they were just trying to capture the vibes that Twisted Alice had in BatIM instead of really exploring what that character would be doing HERE, in THIS situation. Nothing she’s doing really makes sense, and what IS there seems to have forgotten what her actual deal is, but she’s doing it with the right flair, so it feels like she’s in-character enough for the scene to be fun. Like an episodic cartoon that just forgets what happened in previous episodes depending on who’s writing this one. So… I think that’s a real risk for Sammy. For the people who just want him to show up and whisper cult-ish things so we can hear his voice more and go HEHEHE ITS HIM, this isn’t really a concern lmao, that will probably happen. I don’t have high hopes that he’ll make sense as a character, but tbf I don’t know that he ever has.

And IDK, its still early, its possible the cage will come out and I'll look up spoilers and be like OMG NM I LOVE WHAT THEY DID WITH HIM. A game that's supposed to be psychological horror could, in theory, be a really fun place for Sammy!! Maybe the people actually writing him will give him more care, haha. It's a little silly for me to be so worked up about the marketing for a game that I am not going to buy b/c I’m still not interested in giving JDS, Inc. my money. AND YET DESPITE IT ALL I STILL… CARE ABOUT SAMMY LAWRENCE LMAO….. I think my main emotion about The Cage is just curiosity, though. I do want to know what they do with him. I’m curious if he’ll play a major part in the story, or if he’s like Henry or Porter in BatDR, with one big scene where he gets a bunch of lines and then runs off. A lot of people really want to see Henry and Sammy team up in this, but I’m not writing off the possibility he’s an antagonist of some kind, so I’m curious which way that’ll go. But I don’t feel like I have any strong expectations, so I guess we’ll see!

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

New series idea: analysing my favourite (underrated) lines from Six of Crows

I feel like I haven't given you any analysis in a while, and I've had this idea for some time now so I thought it was worth giving it a try. This is going to be a list of my personal favourite quotes in Chapter 2 of Six of Crows with explanation/analysis for any that I have an explanation/analysis for - but if a famous or popular quote isn't included then it's not because I don't like it, it's just because I don't feel I have anything new to add to the existing analyses around it. And yeah, if you guys like this then I'll make it a more regular thing and go through chapter by chapter (probably sometimes including multiple chapters in one post), so let me know what you think!

(Also, I chose to start with Chapter 2 on purpose because I don't have loads to say about Chapter 1, but if anyone is interested I'm open to trying it in the future)

"every favour came with enough strings attached to stage a puppet show" - ugh words cannot explain my love of this quote. Not only is this a gorgeous and vibrant metaphor that brings forth very clear imagery, it also achieves two different concepts relating to the idea of the "puppet show". Firstly, we have the idea that Kaz is the puppet master and Ketterdam is his stage; he is in complete control, he can bend the city to his whims, and it's ultimate his say that can make or break someone. This is definitely the image we're given of Kaz in the opening two chapters, and this singular line really reinforces that, however the rest of the book and many of the descriptions in Crooked Kingdom unravel this view very quickly. This description far better fits Pekka Rollins, which brings me onto the other concept relating to the "puppet show": the question of who it actually is pulling the strings. Arguably Kaz is a puppet on Rollins' stage, and Rollins a puppet on the Merchant Councils'. each has power but each is ultimately at the whims of the other. This brings worth the suggestion that something darker is at play and that there's far more to Kaz than initally meets the eyes before we've even met him, so in short it's just completely and utter genius.

"Kaz hated a puzzle he couldn't solve, and he and Inej had concocted a hundred theories to account for the murder - none of which satisfied" - again, Kaz has thus far said a single line, and not one with a lot of information in it ("Yes and no. It's always good to have a country in debt to you, makes for friendlier negotiations) and yet we know so much about him - and even some details about his relationship with Inej! It even tells us a lot about Inej; we've been presented with a figure heralded as near-omnipotent in his city, someone no-one wants to be on the wrong side of, someone who has complete control over every conversation he has with you, and she is someone with whom he will spend hours trying to solve a riddle? So then, the reader is forced to think, what kind of power does she has? What makes her worthy of his closeness, why does he trust her, and why does she know him well enough to so intimately know his likes and dislikes? Inej hasn't even spoken yet.

"But it didn't feel neutral to Inej. It felt like the hush of the woods before the snare yanks tight and the rabbit starts to scream" - ok most of my enjoyment of this quote is just of the beautiful prose, however I would like to add that all six Crows experienced this sort of 'calm before the storm' leading up to the most painful experiences of their lives - Wylan thinking he could go to music school, Inej at the beach with her parents and calling sleepily to the man she though was her father, Kaz staying at the cafe and meeting Margit and Saskia, Matthias knowing he was going to be a big brother, Jesper seeing his mother for the last time when she picked him up and hugged him even though he was up past his bedtime, Nina feeling that she had purpose and loving the way she could help her country - so this could be considered foreshadowing.

" 'Care to place a wager?' Jesper asked.

'I'm not going to bet on my own death,'

Kaz flipped his hat onto his head and ran his gloved fingers along the brim in a quick saulte. 'Why not Bolliger? We do it every day,' "

"Kaz had done his best to teach her, but she didn't quite have his way with breaking and entering, and it took her a few tries to finesse the lock" - my main source for liking this quote comes from an analysis I did a while ago when someone asked me about comapring this quote and Kaz's self-proclaimed "shoddy job" of teaching her to pick locks. It's a while since I posted that so I'll run through it here briefly, basically it's very indicative of their relationship dynamic. Whilst both place the other on a pedestal, they do it in different ways, and Kaz particularly often glorifies Inej and almost finds it difficult to accept that she, like anyone, must be flawed. So if she fails at something, like picking locks as well as he can, and she cannot possibly be flawed then the error must be in his teaching - it can never be with her. It's also a glaring example of Kaz's self-destructive nature. My other reason for liking this quotes is just that it once again tells us about the characters so early on and without having to directly explain it to us - we know Kaz is good with locks because he tried to teach Inej and she isn't as good as him, but she still manages to get it open.

' "I'm a business man,' he'd told her, 'No more, no less,'

'You're a thief, Kaz,'

'Isn't that what I just said?' " - I ADORE this, but honestly all I can say for analysis is that it sums up the entire theme of the novels beuatifully.

"Now he looked like some kind of priest come to preach to a group of circus performers" - this sets up a great parallel that I've mentioned before in one of my "little details you might have missed/forgotten" posts, but it's also interesting to have it come from Inej's perspective since she's incredibly religious and performed as a travelling acrobat with her family. It's probably drawn from personal experience, someone in dark clothes who judges the brightness of Suli traditional clothing and/or culture and tries to preach religion to a group who've already long found it because they don't align with thier idea of religion. It's even possible that she links that idea with Kaz, not because of his actions but because he's from a country that has perversely sexualised and condemned her culture and he dresses like the rich merchants who would preach this exact kind of message - and possibly even have visited her at the Menagerie, where she was forced to appropriate her own heritage and way of life for the enjoyment of those who look down it with no reason for doing so.

"Inej pitied the boy who might die alone with no one to comfort him in his last hours or who might live and spend his life as an exile. But the night's work wasn't over yet, and the Wraith didn't have time for traitors" - this is one of the few but fabulous examples we get of the idea that "Inej" and "the Wraith" are separate entities; Inej being the girl she was, the girl she should have been, and the Wraith being a creation of necessity to aid survival. Inej is a religious young woman from Ravka who has been through far more than she should have done, but the Wraith was born and raised on the blood-soaked streets of Ketterdam and has every intention of surviving them - no matter the cost. This concept is only mentioned a few times, however it runs a beautiful parallel with the distinction between Kaz Rietveld and Kaz Brekker, or Kaz and Dirtyhands depending on how you look at it.

Ok I realise this is a pretty long post but thanks for reading it if you got this far, and I really enjoyed making this so please let me know if you guys would enjoy seeing more. And, in summary, Leigh Bardugo is a genius

[murdockmeta]

there's a lot that I can say about Wade's character in the most recent movie so like. I guess I am gonna say it. Wade is pretty genuine in his own way. I feel like that's such an important aspect of his character. like okay YES he says shit just to fuck with people sometimes but for the most part?? Wade is genuine.

even in the comics, in the early days, the reason behind Wade saying Goofy Wacky Shit was that he was 💫mentally ill💫 (yes, this is ableist, but not the point). the point is that Wade, at his core, is genuine. I think that's what all the people saying the movie is "homophobic" or "not queer enough" don't get. cause like yes everything is framed as a joke.

but Wade explicitly states IN THE MOVIE that he turns everything into a joke on purpose. there is truth in almost everything that he says/does. and this is made painfully obvious during several points in the movie. like how far does Wade have to go before you guys start believing him? is it when he very seriously is holding dogpool and being concerned about her mistreatment (even tho it's played for laughs, just like every single instance I'm about to list)? is it when he's trying to give CPR to a headless nicepool while no one else is around? is it when he declares Cassandra is ableist for using a disabled man's mobility aid? is it when he's straight-faced setting sexual boundaries with what he assumes are male sex workers at his bday party? is it when he's quoting johnny word for word (after being told he could) and it results in johnny being murdered? is it when Logan flatly asks if Wade has ADHD? when? when does it stop being a joke?

that's the Thing about Wade's character. he was made to be a joke. but when writers (in the comics) realized they had to make him an actual Character, they had a problem. they solved that problem by making those jokes Real. im not saying there isnt bullshit that comes out of his mouth. but there really is a point where you have to draw a line. you have to be able to know Wade's character well enough to know when hes not joking. knowing whether he is or not is like its own in-joke. do you guys get it yet?

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 14

Who is this talking to Ringo? Press? A boy scruff? Someone who wants their project produced by Apple? He tries George too.

Again, I love the "freak-out" as John calls it. They really could've had so much fun together under different circumstances. (Different being neither of them ever dated John) But John's so sweet saying, "Id like it to be part of her new LP. Our new LP."

I wonder what Robert Fraser thought of the beard.

Why are we playing 20 Flight Rock now, Paul? It's just overlayed over a montage to change "scenes", but I wonder what the real context was.

Billy. What a little ray of sunshine honestly.

"So what should we do that's fun? Besides work?" I feel like every day, John has a little adorable quote, and this is today's. Words to live by.

I don't remember if Get Back includes the "Oh Darling" version where John's answering back between lines in conversation with the lyrics. I sincerely hope so. Peter Jackson was probably like "well I can only include so much homosexuality before people have too many questions."

Ringo, you smooth criminal. I love that he just has this trick he learned as a teenager that the Beatles were all impressed by, back when Ringo was the scary gangster with the car and the beard, and he still does it for them like ten years later. It's so endearing.

Another cute John and Yoko moment: "It's just that screaming all the way." "Poor John." "Yes, it's so terrible." She's teasing him and being sweet to him at the same time. Cuties.

George asks Paul where his Rickenbacker is. "Isn't that one much better?" And Paul makes up some shit about the Hoffner being lighter. You nostalgic little bitch. Poor baby.

John's little guilty look at the camera when he's almost just taken something on film. It's cute. He looks like a naughty kid. But it's kind of a cool moment. It shows just how relaxed and natural he is. He's not performing for or worried about the cameras at all. What we're seeing of him today is just him. You know? Idk I think it's nice.

What's with the little pigeon noises in the middle of a recording, guys? They're so weird smh

Poor Glyn. He's just trying to do his job and he has to deal with fucking Leopold and Leob over here. He gives them some instruction. There's a look between the two of them. And then it's all, "Don't interrupt" "Hey son" "Stahhs when" "Hey" "they're recording. We're bloody Stahhs you know." "Look fuckface. Don't comment." "The cheek." The impenetrable wall of Lennon and McCartney, folks.

"Well, we'll have to do it sitting down. Or we get too excited." It's heartbreaking to me how obvious it is that they're still just having the absolute time of their lives together and that, as John put it, "the minutes are crumbling away."

Literally what the hell is with Dennis smacking Paul's ass (as like a 'good job, your band wants to put your song out as the single' I guess) and nobody reacting? Linda would've been like "ope, time to find a new head of Apple films." (Dave Spinoza on RAM, anyone?) He really does look so proud of himself, though. Happy for you, baby.

Oh, right, that's what Robert thinks. Paul looks like his working class fantasy. (DH Lawrence. Victorian Miner.)

And I'm just going to add this, since Peter Jackson REFUSES. Paul: Can't afford to mess around here, you know. Then