#I don’t even have pain meds | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

onelonelyghost0 · 4 months ago

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Drinking coffee even tho it makes my tummy hurt bc I wanna see a man today. Not just a man. The man. Close to being my man. Oh my god. It’s so cute. But I am brain dead, so I guzzle a PSL and ask God for forgiveness

#I don’t even have pain meds #so sad #text post #like I’m just vibing #i also would like to cause chaos #so I gotta have brain cells #but whatever

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fleshengine · 6 months ago

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Fucken uhhhhhh

Feralist human who manages to resist the Affini until they get a migraine from the stress of it all and end up seeking comfort in the big plant that doses them with pain killers and anti-migraine drugs and gives them a blindfold and holds them for hours while the human rides out the migraine. When the human wakes from their nap they feel the normal dopiness of post-migraine brain fog and also and overwhelming sense of comfort while cradled in the Affini’s arms. They bury their face in the plant’s closest approximation of a chest and cry that they don’t want to fight anymore, they don’t want to hurt, they just want to feel happy like they did right as they woke up forever. The many limbs and vines wrapped around them tighten and hold them with a gentle, even pressure. The Affini says they can do that, and they feel a needle slide into their arm.

#human domestication guide #hdg #this because I have a migraine right now and want a plant to fix it #I don’t have migraine meds or pain killers all I have is a blindfold and I’m not even wearing the thing

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9ofspades · 7 months ago

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It’s disability pride month, and if you are disabled in the U.S. from Long Covid I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re valid in whatever you feel. Whether that’s sorrow at your new problems or rage at society for failing you, you are valid, and it is truly messed up that society is continuing to fail you.

#disability #trauma #chronic illness #long COVID #COVID #Tbh I’m not sure if I have long covid or not but I keep swinging between despair and fury #The brain fog SUCKS #I might have always had it but it feels especially bad now?#And I have all kinds of respiratory problems that got exacerbated #And possibly chronic fatigue but it’s unclear #And I’m one of the lucky ones!!!#I can still exercise without needing three days of bed rest after!#I was so RELIEVED when it turned out I could do that #I did like. Three weeks of breathing rehab to make sure #Not sure if it helped but now I’m not getting post-exertional backlash nearly as much anymore #And I didn’t lose my sense of smell or get my taste messed up #And I don’t need a respirator just an inhaler and some allergy meds and to take frequent breaks #And like. I know so many people have it worse #And that suuuuucks #But EVEN THIS makes me want to scream and rail half the time #Update as of Sept 2024 — this is no longer true #Got Covid again and now I can’t exercise without being too tired to move for three days #🙃#Probably will die mad about this actually #I had SUCH a good time working out one night #But then the next morning #Nope #head-to-toe muscle pain #couldn’t do any chores #Couldn’t even feed myself

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blueheartedwolf · 7 months ago

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Y’all I’m completely flat broke and need cat litter, cat food, and groceries. My phone bill is due on the 7th. I had to call out of work yesterday because of nerve pain and now I only work two days this week and need to pay rent too. I really can’t do this shit anymore I’ve been trying so hard to get by without help bc I never feel like I deserve it but I can’t take it anymore. My friends and partners can only offer moral support bc we’re all fucking poor.

I really don’t know what to say. I know so many of us are struggling and it makes me so mad that ANYONE has to beg online or out on the street just to survive. I’m so angry all the time that community aid is seen as a last resort. It should be easy to find help and support in the people around you and it’s not and it’s bullshit. So few people care.

I don’t have a dollar amount I’m asking for, the number would be so high and I don’t care if I get all I need I just need SOMETHING. Anything to feed myself and take care of my cat.

Please.

#disability #mutual aid #please reblog #please fucking reblog I’m begging you #gfm #donate #donations needed #if you want proof of my bank balance or something you can message me I guess whatever it takes to get someone to care #and not think I’m just asking bc I want to #I don’t fucking want to #I want to kill myself honestly I’ve been struggling for years #and I’m out of pain meds and I just want to cry and never stop #came out of my room to find my roommate didn’t lock the panty and the their cats ripped into and destroyed the loaf of bread I bought #now I just have canned tuna and can’t even make a sandwich anymore and I’ve just been sobbing #I hate this

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imogenkol · 5 months ago

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ha ha this is fine

#it’s 7am and I’ve barely had any sleep 🫠#like really. really. I was feeling so good. I was excited.#can’t this just go away until next week at least I mean come on #also WHY. THIS TOOTH HAS BEEN ROOT CANALLED YEARS AGO.#yeah this really is the worst possible thing that could have happened to me rn #the dentist makes me extremely fucking anxious #not to mention I don’t even know WHAT dentist I can go to on my current insurance so I have to figure that out too #it’s what I get for putting it off…..#anyway time to DoorDash orajel I guess because I’m on the verge of overdosing over the counter pain meds

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milo-is-rambling · 9 months ago

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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?

#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day #but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both #gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a #bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of #being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even #with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like #go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m #afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make #this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s #so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room #and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until #my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and #that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad #anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down

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hyperfixatedbean · 1 day ago

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Call me Evan Buckley how I’m on crutches because of a crush injury to my left foot AND I’m taking blood thinners 🤧

(How the hell did the ao3 writer curse get to me when I didn’t even post my drafts ???)

#evan buckley #stupid post #don’t mind me pain meds are hitting and I’m feeling like I need attention 🤧#omg buck core once again #at least I relate to him even more now <3 #just hoping I won’t have to survive a tsunami cause I’m NOT a muscular firefighter #I’m a wet cat through and through #being an adult sucks cause where’s my mom when I need her to take me to my blood work appointment

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mymelodyisme · 9 months ago

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🫠 oh yeah your girl has an infected tooth. 😭 gosh I wanna be distracted so bad

#i feel it all on the right side of my head #it’s a headache #earache #toothache and heavy and hard to move combo #😭 I have meds so that’s good but gosh am I not up for anything #🥺 also I see your guys’ comments and stuff I just have NO energy to respond 😭😭😭 my head hurts too much #i HAVENT even eaten I’m so hungry #but i don’t want my tooth pain to reactivate at it’s max #SOB

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madigoround · 18 days ago

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I just watched a quiet place day one for the first time thinking it would just be like a thriller/suspense and no one told me how steeped this movie is in guttural emotion. I’m over here crying over this monster movie and the display of true human emotion and tragedy and love it shows as if I haven’t seen a million apocalypse movies

#a quiet place day one #the way Sam goes from being a self described ‘mean person’ in the beginning and pretty obviously not wanting to form any bonds to include #how she was trying to get Eric to go to the boat for a while after they met #and she ends up accepting that he cares about her even if it’s just to make her lie #smile he looked so pleased with himself so proud when he was able to get her that pizza #and her giving him her dads cardigan that she clearly holds dearly #the way Eric is terrified of the water and Sam continually calms him down and reassures him it’s okay it’s going to be okay #even though they are both scared out of their minds and she is hurting so much #the way he goes out in an APOCALYPSE to get her meds and help her fend off the pain he goes out despite how utterly terrified he is to make #her that much more comfortable to slow the symptoms of the cancer even just a little bit #I truly gasped at that part it is so insane to me and kind #the way we don’t know if they discussed the plan before she sacrifices herself for him but if they didn’t he knows he can see it when she’s #giving Frodo to him and he looks like he’s about to have a break down like he is so heart broken not only that she would die regardless but #that she is sacrificing herself for him she is putting herself at danger of being ripped limb from limb for the chance that he will make it #are you joking? are you serious with this I’m so obsessed this story alone would have me utterly enamored but the emotion in their faces #the way they are able to convey the depth of their feelings and you can see in equal parts the despair they feel #and the love on a human level say what you will about how the love was meant to be conveyed if it’s romantic or friendly or whatever but you #can tell there is love they care for each other they consistently risk everything for each other #as human beings they decided they care about each other and they choose each other they choose to protect the other #I’m just so in love with it and I didn’t expect to care this much about a monster movie

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danielnelsen · 10 months ago

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there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn

#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon #although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great #whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time #kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’#or at least triggers that i can plan around #the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one #the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni #and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis?#but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal #i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months #so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically)#so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point #obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again #i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time #BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT #‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately #personal #but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12 #so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’#and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes #wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health #and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder #so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test #i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing #might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained

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luna-the-cretar · 2 months ago

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It’s weird. I don’t normally cuddle with my other plushies (despite having 20 of ‘em) after the first day or so, even when I’m sick or hurt to the point where i basically have to be on bed rest, and yet. For some reason cuddling the ouaw plushes make me feel better. These little guys did not leave my arms when I was sick, and I keep alternating between Frost and Torbek right now (if not both, depending on my position and how I’m feeling)

I mean, they don’t make the pain go away, but they make it a bit more bearable. Until my grandma comes back with my pain meds, at least

#I feel really bad about needing everyone in my family to help me or to grab things for me #but I also don’t really have a choice if that makes sense?#it hurts to walk and to get into and out of bed #I mean hell. I just got up to refill my cup with something cold and fresh #rather than the room temperature water from last night #and I needed my aunt to help me get up #and my back is seizing bc Im having to sleep on the couch for the time being #and since I can’t lay on my back #where the cushions are firmest #my spine is screaming at me as if I’ve been up on my feet for 24 hours straight #another thing that sucks is that I can’t sleep #like I’m tired. I’ve barely gotten 4-5 hours worth of sleep in 2 days #but bc of the couch and the pain I just can’t. even after taking pain meds #actually the pain meds just made me want to vomit #even tho I took them immediately after eating dinner so it’s not like I was on an empty stomach #I’m just. not having a good time rn lol. I swear every week feels like a stronger gut punch

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transmechanicus · 2 years ago

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“I’ll be fine i just need to uhhhhhhh idk kill” but like…what if i did haha

#my stuff #dear diary and the several thousand mfs who can see it. Despite arguably good academic performance today feels like a bad day #bc i skipped lab to take a nap #and i feel lonely and incapable of connecting more than superficially with my classmates #like i can talk to them and i do and we get along well but i never…hang out w em #or at least not as much as they seem to without me #it’s not a malicious thing i think a huge part of it is groups of ppl living or working in the same space #and i’m in a different lab building than a lot of ppl #idk…struggling to find anything that sparks joy. unable to see the future with optimism #it’s just day after day of Job where i’ll beat myself up on weekends if i don’t do Even More Work #bc that’s the nature of grad school. always homework or literature review to do like i give a shit abt the latter #i don’t care what other people are doing i don’t wanna obsessively comb through journals to make sure i’m doing Brand New Shit #i want it to stop #i don’t want to read anymore. i don’t wanna have to worry about my job outside of work.#i want to cry and scream and #like i don’t wanna quit after i worked so hard to get here #i don’t wanna wuss out #but i’m always tired. i’m never rested or relaxed or truly enjoying myself #why is this only hard for me…how tf is everyone else able to read and remember and understand this much??#like yeah maybe i should be on adhd meds but those are fuckin spensive and a pain in the ass to get #i’m tired of being tough #i want to curl into a ball and be told it’s going to be okay and that i can rest and have it not be a lie or a half measure

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mars-ipan · 6 months ago

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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much

#marzi speaks #it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that #my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there #which is. fun #like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember #i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that #in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be #a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make #and he makes a bit of a face and goes ‘i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill’’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled #also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness #i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro #and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel #(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her #and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on #king u got some shit to unpack #it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone #but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds #anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say

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pepprs · 1 year ago

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my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.

#purrs #longer than that too ofc but i think ever since i moved to campus in 2021 and shit started hitting the fan my life just started snowballing #and picked up speed majorly when i moved back home and ive been stuck in this horrible limbo ever since. like im scaring myself with how #deeply profoundly unhappy and unwell i am. i am just detached and scattered and bewildered by everything. and the only way to break free is #to fight it but i don’t even have the strength. like in order to fight it i have to have the strength and it s exactly the thing that is #being stolen from me. and i work really really hard to suppress it when im around people so no one can tell but on the inside im being eaten #alive and every day that goes on the pain gets harder to bear except im numb most of the time so i can’t tell except for when i can #one of the things that makes me saddest is ive pushed everyone away either by ghosting them or scaring them. when what i want and need the #most is love and comfort. but then when i get it it isn’t enough. idk. im not explaining it well i just feel like. horrible. unbearably #i think i need to go on meds like i truly cannot go on like this not even in a s*i cidal way it’s like i just can’t take living like this #delete later #i know im causing the people who love me pain by being unable to accept that they do love me and that’s the worst fucking part. is hurting #people by being like this. scaring people by being like this. and being so disconnected from myself #and feeling completely and utterly beyond help like nothing ive tried has fixed it but also there are a lot of things i haven’t tried but i #feel so terrible or my freedom is limited so i can’t. idk.#also the crushing knowledge / sense that i have lost the most precious important years of my life both bc of the lockdown and bc of mental #illness lol. except that’s not true bc of all the stuff abt how your best years are always ahead of you and you can make them. but it doesnt #feel like it for me and then i beat myself up bc my job is literally to exude that belief and help other ppl feel it and i increasingly cant #i remember in high school having the thought that one day i could be depressed and being conscious that i wasn’t and now i look back on that #and am like… how. and will i ever not be. i don’t think so. it just feels unending

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 8 months ago

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#warning: rant about parent ahead #I’m so so so so so empathetic to mental health struggles #like exceedingly so #but it’s just so exhausting being on the receiving end of someone’s self-loathing #and to be clear I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE HERE #you are all my phone besties and I have so much empathy for your struggles and know that i love you all #and wish i could say the right thing to support you all always and you are always welcome to share whatever is going on #and to quote the bard herself i wish i could take the bombs in your head and disarm them #but when my mother gets into these moods she just seems to use it as a way to get a rise out of us #she’s pulling the ‘well maybe you don’t want to do x with me because it’s not fun because I’m a terrible person and you’re scared of me #and i ruin everything so maybe you would just rather i do everything alone’#and i don’t doubt she feels horrible and i know she has intrusive thoughts etc #but that is so manipulative!!!! she then puts the onus on us to reassure her that she is not!!!! But that is not what she wants!!!!#which we then do profusely and remind her that we do love her and we do do things together and whatever the fuck is the problem of the day #but of course she won’t hear it #so yes it makes us scared of her because we are always worried we’re going to say the wrong thing in a given moment!!!!#i just shut the fuck up at all times now #but my dad tries to use reason with her and of course it just ends in her lashing out and projecting all this shit on him #’oh you maybe you actually hate me maybe you want to leave me’ etc #THEY’VE BEEN MARRIED DECADES HE’S THE MOST LOYAL AND KINDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD HE NEVER ONCE HAS #i honestly don’t know how he lets this roll off his back because i am so fed up with it #It’s just so so so so hard because one minute she’s ‘herself’ and the other she’s this inferno #and we just have to ride whatever wave she’s on and it sucks all the air out of the room #it’s like the one and only time i tried to very gently bring up that something she said was hurtful *after she’d brought it up herself*#she went on a ‘oh I’m a terrible person/terrible parent’ rant and it then turned into me reassuring her that she isn’t #i was just trying to show her how the language/behaviour she uses was hurtful to me #so anyway that was lesson learned that even if she invites it i will never speak of it and luckily she hasn’t since and that was years ago #But it’s just… i know bad thoughts can’t be helped and again i feel so much pain on her behalf for what she struggles with #and i wish i could help but there’s absolutely nothing i can do #AND SHE’S GONE OFF ALL HER MEDS SO THE ONE SOURCE SHE DID HAVE ISN’T THERE ANYMORE EITHER

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indie-rock · 1 year ago

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#welp the whole no pain with increased heart rate is over lol #still not worried about it #talked to my doctor and she said that yes it does increase the heart rate and my constant chest pain is from anxiety #i have this intense fear i’m gonna die from a heart attack caused by a panic attack i had two years ago #i genuinely thought i was dying so i think the fear stayed in me #i’ve had two ekg’s done and both times it said my heart is in good condition #which is a miracle because i don’t exercise properly and my diet is questionable #even then the underlying anxiety is still there #i looked up if other people experience the same symptoms with my dosage and they all have the same symptoms as i do #the same level of blood pressure i’ve gotten since i started the meds #so i’m trying not to worry about it #they said it will decrease with time #either way my doctor may adjust my dosage i don’t know yet #and that’s on the tries and tribulations of taking adhd medication #logan.txt #adventures on adhd

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