#they said it will decrease with time
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#welp the whole no pain with increased heart rate is over lol#still not worried about it#talked to my doctor and she said that yes it does increase the heart rate and my constant chest pain is from anxiety#i have this intense fear iām gonna die from a heart attack caused by a panic attack i had two years ago#i genuinely thought i was dying so i think the fear stayed in me#iāve had two ekgās done and both times it said my heart is in good condition#which is a miracle because i donāt exercise properly and my diet is questionable#even then the underlying anxiety is still there#i looked up if other people experience the same symptoms with my dosage and they all have the same symptoms as i do#the same level of blood pressure iāve gotten since i started the meds#so iām trying not to worry about it#they said it will decrease with time#either way my doctor may adjust my dosage i donāt know yet#and thatās on the tries and tribulations of taking adhd medication#logan.txt#adventures on adhd
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Taking a moment to touch on some more seasonal aspects of Reaper/Underworld culture! The Annual Office Partyā¢ is an event that is much looked forward to, even if the ensuing consequences may be...less than ideal >:'D
Again, major props to @humming-fly and @alagaesia-overlord for helping put together the brain cells for this and for also let me drag around their OCs like the rag dolls at all times <3
Closeups of the polaroids in the first panel are also under the cut! š
#aseukiart#kirby oc#breakroom gossip#kirby headcanons#halloween#phemus#strix#alcohol mention#Dispenses a mini lore post. Just for u all š#This was supposed to be done like a week ago but I. Forgor.#You'd think they would have learned after the week of all nighters from scooping up all the souls#that slipped past bc of decreased security#but what can be said coworker Jeff just makes the meanest cocktails every year#Makes it worthsies every time#forgor to add the timestamps but I hope u all know that#there's like a 10 min gap at Maximum between the Married and Divorced pics
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Something about how Ren makes up canon characters with distinct aesthetics and how fanon characterizes him as a "dramatic flirty theatre kid". Something about Ren having two popular king characters and how it gives something else for fanon to latch onto. Something about how Ren is a "theatre kid" so he can play any role in fanon and more often than not the non-Ren mains put him as the eye candy/ love interest/ narrative tool.
#ria.txt#consequences of screaming crying having serious fandom meta discussions at 3am#i have. thoughts on fanon treatment of the diggity dog esp after he took a break from life series#ren still primarily spends his time on hc with non life series hermits so the life seriesification hasn't hit him hard#like in s8 it was doc. s9 he had the bdubs king arc but he was also goofing around with keralis. this season is neighbourhood#prob bc his popularity/ fanon relevance on life series came from being a duo with martyn and martyn's not in hc#ren has always been in tune with his characters and rp and he said he toned it down bc he can't afford that high production editing of s7#in a way it makes sense for mainstream fandom relevance of ren to have decreased when he wasn't playing life#he's a theatre kid. royalty gimmick. flirty guy. love interest. shipping. yaoi. he can be everything but also he's just ren.
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FJADJSDSDHSDH NOW THAT Ooo..... MAKES SO MUCH SENSE
#FSAD THE FORTUNE TELLER KILLS ME; NO WONDER SHE SAID EAGER ; AND THE ALTERNATIVE FOR 'QUITE HOPEFUL' IS 'LITTLE BASHFUL' FOR OTHER SPOUSE#sdv#stardew valley#stardew valley fair#fortune teller#sdv farmer#sdv rasmodius#sdvĀ welwick#stardew farmer#stardew rasmodius#stardew welwick#this is the first time i got this result#I THOUGHT IT MEANS HE WAS JUST LONELY#LIKE U FEEL ME?? DARK?? DARKNESS??? LONELINESS????#I MEAN I THOUGHT IT'S BCS I STARTED TO GIVE HIM THINGS I NEVER GAVE HIM JUST TO TEST OUT HIS REACTION & GOT HIS AFFECTION A BIT DECREASED??#fanart#tho i don't remember giving him anything fatal#fjsfsdjsfhsdj mister rasmodius just stood there watching this must be like 'do i tell this las'#my usual result is the laying on grass ; last year i think i finally got the working on farm together#fjsdjdjd this year#i didn't know the grass is 50% probability; the farm and the dark each is 25%; and then the serious situation#which is said to be unused but i think i saw other person saying they got it#ask ur fortune they said it will be fun they said with the risk of getting ur life peeked#i kinda want to be able to build the golden clock as soon as possible#but also i know i won't have any reason to play anymore after i finished it#:*(#ma'am welwick just be like 'ho ho finally the las caught on'#both of them were so ready to let me go with fully misunderstanding fhshdsjd
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me when im obsessed with dead singers from 50 (well... mostly 70-120) years ago and im heartbroken to know i'll never see them on stage... never hear them breathe, never see them sweat, never even touch the hem of their garment...
it really is enough to drive a person mad...
#this is so funny because this is the one vaguepost that i wholeheartedly 100% agree with skdhsjshsjdhsn#like yeah!! it does indeed pain me that the level of operatic singing has so drastically decreased over the last 50 years!#that top operatic stars of today are all either nasal or wobbly or knƶdely or completely inaudible without microphones#but some of yall are just not ready for this conversation. example a#anyway. as many have said before. its kinda easier to understand how some people cant appreciate certain operas#if they never heard them sung well lol#sorry im out of blood today. i know this is a very uncomfortable subject for many but.#you can actually judge someone's singing in a pretty objective way. there are nuances of course. but from a technical point of view#it really is pretty simple#(also its not like i dont enjoy *some* modern singers lol have you SEEN my kwiecieÅ posting???? lmao#hell. there are even some modern singers i have a soft spot who i KNOW sing... Not Very Well. but i enjoy them lol#not many ofc but. yknow)#also 50 years ago would be the 1970s if im doing my maths correctly and. that is really the point in opera history#when it all started going downhill (sadly partly because of one of my all time favourite singers' influence... but thats a different story)#anyway. remember when luis tetrazzini said that the future generations of singers will be The Best singers in history#because they'll have access to all those recordings of The Greats Of The Past that they'll be able to listen to and learn from?#lmao queen you were right about so many things but that was tragically not one of them </3#opera tag#yes im stirring the pot of boiling liquid shit and putting this post gently into the main tag#*luisA tetrazzini ofc#lol and lmao im out FOR blood* shdgsjsghs
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ik it's been said but being medicated is just such a wild feeling. like i have adhd and just got recently put on adderall and being able to sense the difference of my thoughts is such a weird feeling. like ik when it hits and i can tell when it's wearing off. but also it just really reminds me of the fact i do have a mental disorder that actually affects me and isn't just "laziness and forgetfulness"
#like i can even feel it in my physical sense of self#like i don't feel paralyzed if that makes sense?#i feel like i finally have full autonomy over my body#and i'm the driver-- not my adhd riddled brain#but like i said it kicks me in the shin and reminds me that i do have a neurodivergent disability that quite literally#makes my brain form differently and affects the neurotransmitters too#and the fact it's chronic is really Really the cherry on top :)#anyways remember when tiktok was making everyone think they had adhd#all bc of the fact they couldn't do shit and 'time blindness'#but the actual test is literally about concentration and memory#like mmmmmmmmmmmmmm im not against self diagnosis but you have got to stop saying you x disorder when you didn't even look at dsm 5 criteri#and then when they associated having adhd with being a burnt out gifted kid#like no you weren't a gifted kid. you weren't in the program. you were able to succeed bc your needs were (presumably) met.#and now ur a hormonal teenager experiencing the woes of puberty along with a crippling phone addiction that decreased your attention span#.....get it together#adhd ramblings#ashla.txt
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so so excited for Burrowās End and so so frustrated with the biggest parasocial fans telling anyone who was discussing what other TTRPG systems could be used that they should never question the expert GMs, please just leave us to our (loving!) conversations!
there are always going to be dickheads who talk shit and rudely tag in the people/performers theyāre referring to, but most of the time any fan critique or discussion I see of D20 comes out of being big fans of both the show and TTRPGs, is super respectful, and no one is tagging in anyone involved with the show. yeah some of us get tired of how often DnD is used in the recent games, because it isnāt always the best system for the story and there LOADS of other TTRPGs that would be cool to use!
for this season, most of the discussion went DnD???? Again???? > wait it looks like thereās a bunch of combat and monsters > probably not suited for Wanderhome/other suggested TTRPGs > what other animal TTRPGs could work > Aabria is an incredible GM and sheās worked with other systems before so her choice of DnD for this story is interesting, letās see how this works out for the story > oooh this is what Aabria has said about using DnD, ok cool, canāt wait to be emotionally hurt im so tired of seeing a loud minority of people increasingly butting in on respectful conversations to say āthey like DnD! they play however they want to! theyāre the performers why do you question their choices?ā Or āomg how dare you have the audacity to question themā or other bullshit like that. if all you want to do is never have conversations about TTRPGs or cast/GM choices etc. and never want to hear any respectful critique or discussion then I think your fandom experience is going to be poorer, but thatās your choice. you donāt have to start shit with other people just because you canāt stand that theyāre lovingly but thoroughly discussing/critiquing this form of media and not putting the cast on pedestals. parasocial attachments to vaguely famous people arenāt new things but god they are getting worse and making the experience of fandom more awful
#there is also a marked decrease in media literacy#and an increase in people starting from bad faith#the number of times Iāve seen people go WELL FROM YOUR TONE IT READ LIKE#and thereās literally no text anywhere that supports their interpretation#also people are allowed to be a little frustrated before a show airs#most of them will watch it! most of them will adjust their opinions!#WOTC are a very flawed corporation and DnD 5e is a big monopoly in TTRPGs!!!!!!!#there are so many other cool TTRPGs it would be cool to see them used for the right stories!!!!!#aabria literally said this in the tags of a post on tumblr#and most of us read those tags and went OK INTERESTING#and we love her as a GM#like open ur mind to a richer fandom experience and to the FUN of other TTRPGs#and donāt put people on pedestals#Dimension 20#TTRPGs#god sorry just had to vent I hate the increasing number of fans going YOU CANT CRITIQUE THESE PEOPLE HOW DARE YOU#ALSO I love DnD despite its origins and history itās so fun#I also LOVE other TTRPGs!#anyway curate yr fandom experience I end up blocking most of these people especially on twt#you wanna block me go right ahead we will all be happy
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ā¦about cmi10 :')
#to those who read cmi10 and haven't said anything yet/were silent readers#or those who haven't read yet and still will#pls consider leaving feedback.. via reblog or asks anything is fine š„ŗ#pinky promise i worked vv hard on her n would appreciate any kind of support!! just saying it bc interaction on the post itself especially#decreased a lot š¤§ compared to other chapters i mean#a reblog/msg encourages others to reach out as well and it's always nice to see that ppl are still into it š„ŗ#so i know the wait and effort were worth it!!#ik ive said so many times and mostly it's just me shouting into the void but yeah id love that and you sm!!#and ty to those who already did you're the bestest <3
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As somewhat of a sports blogger, I wanted to wake up talking about a great Super Bowl and all the congrats and memes and everything. But I'm sorry, if that post does come, it's gonna have to take a while. I can barely focus on it considering the latest in Israel's long line of abhorrent war crimes in Palestine, specifically a deadly bombing in Rafah and hinting at a ground invasion after months of herding Gazans over there as a "safe zone". All the while they fund Super Bowl ad propaganda again painting opposition to their evil as antisemitism (Big difference) asking to "bring the hostages home" after months of them turning down hostage exchange deals. Just as it's clear that this was timed to distract the U.S. from it with the Super Bowl, it's revoltingly clear the hostages are totally expendable to them for the sake of prolonging this genocide. (Not a war, a genocide.) And all the while, the Western world, especially the U.S. government and the Biden administration, are funding and supporting it. Funding a generational display of evil with billions of dollars while acting like there's no money to fix a sagging economy where just about all everyday Americans are getting suffocated by the jaws of late-stage capitalism. No way to fix that apparently, but tens of billions of ways to help Israel deal with the aftermath of an attack they had telegraphed a year in advance. (Gee, it's almost as if Israel put their own people in the crosshairs as fodder to excuse more oppression of Palestine like the past 75+ years since they stole it.) Not to mention them being the one vote in the UN to reject a ceasefire. And also how the vast majority of American corporations are backing Israel in all sorts of heinous ways. Now fast forward four months and the outcome? Tens of thousands of innocents dead, over a third of them children who likely never knew what they were being slaughtered for and never got to live out their lives. Millions displaced and traumatized. A beautiful culture battered. No justice or ceasefire in sight. I know that it's wrong to lose hope, and I definitely do hope that Palestine will be free soon enough, Zionism loses, and that at least a shred of justice hits everyone responsible for this. But man, I'll be honest, it just feels beyond hopeless to do anything. Besides, even if complete witchcraft took over and justice was served and the ceasefire was granted, nothing's going to bring back the people martyred, cure the trauma of the survivors, or reassemble all the rumble. And certainly, nobody should ever forget or forgive Israel and all its allies for participating in these atrocities. It absolutely should haunt all of them forever, and that 100% includes this country's government.
If it helps at all though, still don't forget to give your daily clicks to arab.org to fund UNRWA (which everyone cut funding to because of course they did). (In fact, assuming Incognito mode still gives out ad revenue, which the site uses, you could totally close and re-open arab.org to keep it going. I mean, it hopefully works for me! It's about time we found a great cause to use all those bots on! (maybe)
Maybe soon enough I'll have the somewhat normal posting again, but now doesn't feel like the time. And I know I expressed my pessimism earlier, but then again, history has constantly shown that bigotry and hate can only reign for so long, and hopefully...
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!
#palestine#free palestine#free gaza#rafah#save rafah#anti zionisim#genocide#i stand with palestine#current events#israel is a terrorist state#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#i'm so done with all this#to avoid going too tmi my future into adulthood is far from certain and moving very far away would be a fantasy for a long time#but if i had everything i needed to move then i would book it to somewhere like norway at the first chance i get#(or maybe canada even if it's hardly *that* much better in some ways)#just anywhere less likely to have successfully aided in another genocide than decrease the odds of any kids i have getting shot up in schoo#and then proceeding to have said attack used as an excuse to futher fascistic queerphobia and bigotry#but now's not the time for that rant#rambles#what a woeful world#arab.org#i do mean this wasn't very coherent but i just needed to get it out somehow
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man. i'm still mad that my ex tried to literally gaslight me about whether water boils faster when you put a lid on it.
(it does. source: i have boiled water before)
#he even went so far as to try to find a study about it that said it didn't#and then was like SEE they say it only decreases the time by A FEW MINUTES! as though that proved his point#r
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see i'm not even opposed to the concept of canon/trickster Ellu surviving but the thing is in order for it to happen there would need to be a second vulnerable conversation regarding his side of things. where he couldn't lie his way out of it either. So basically he's fucked
#unless the dlc coincidentally gives me exactly that skjgs which i doubt#it's only something that'd be achievable in a fic world where Daeran has his own sidequest he's doing in the sidelines kjdfg#he's the one that romances the kc after all might as well be paying attention#succeed any one in a series of really high dc (but decreasing through the course of the game) hidden perception checks to trigger a convo-#where he can corner the little fucker into admitting the council thing and all but say out loud he's going to throw himself into the wound#from that point on convincing him not to do it wouldn't be That hard. frankly the noticing itself is half the battle#from then on the more time they got left till threshold the easier the convincing would be but tbh again the bar isn't that high#even if he noticed at the very last moment in the room with areelu- if he said something he could sway him with little effort#cause again ellu doesn't WANT to die/get shyka'd he's just completely guilt ridden about the council-#the essences he got already and on top of that he's just convinced he'd never get a happy ending#which gets sadder the more you think on the fact that he has reality altering powers <3 and yet#anyway yes that fic exists in my head but it'll never be put to paper because writing canon characters scares me
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Hope I don't nearly faint again at work today š
#started a new dosage of insulin last tuesday and had my first ever hypoglycemic panic at work om top of other mental health things >.>#told my dr about this and instead of decreasing it she said: just decrease your other one to 5 units :)#like my dude: ive nearly fainted at least 2 times at work idk man >.>#my text
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Incidentally the involuntary servitude thing is actually on the ballot, and thereās zero organized oppositionāno ads, no misinformation, nothingāand itās almost definitely gonna lose, i.e., that clause is gonna stay in the state constitution
#one genuinely funny thing tho was that I read the official state financial assessment#and it said āif this passes it could increase costs for the state bc prison labor might have to be paid moreā#āor prisons could incentivize work by offering time served as compensation which would decrease workersā sentences and end up#ācosting the state much lessā#whichā¦ Yeah.
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okay I MIGHT be changing manager, which I was tentatively optimistic about because maybe I could escape the hellscape that is my current team, but I mentioned to my (maybe) new boss that our current boss is okay with us logging off early on fridays if there's nothing urgent and she immediately fixated on this and went on about how we need to stick to our working hours so now I'm like "hmmmm"
#like okay I get it but why is this the first thing you latch on...#this is not even a promotion or anything btw it's like. me doing extra work? lol#its supposed to be ādifferentā work but I'm sure it'll be more work#but my team makes no sense and I just wanna leave#and it's the 3rd time they promise me I can move somewhere else#like I literally *interviewed* for a role in another team and they said I did great and could move there#I literally did a handover and everything I was in a call with 3 other people. like I did not dream this up#and then they were like āhmm yeah it's not happening sorry :-/ā#after I ASKED about it bc they weren't updating me on the next steps#I won't even bore you with the details it's literally gaslighting at this point lol#they do it ALL THE TIME#but the only thing keeping me sane lately is that my workload has massively decreased and my manager is very hands-off#so he's not noticed I've been slacking#I don't think I could cope under someone micromanaging me#corporate drama#*
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sighhhhh telling myself that iām working myself to the bone for just two weeks so i can just get as much money as possible before school starts
#iāll still be working once school starts but my availability will be super decreased#plus iām transferring to the store in my college town and i have heard that it. to be frank. Sucks.#mismanaged understaffed shitty bosses no hours etc.#however. i will still need money and i wonāt even be working that much so like whatever#but anyway re: me working myself to the bone for two weeks#iām in hell. iām truly just in hell.#i wake up at 6am to work my retail job at 8am almost every day#and then most days after my retail job. i have a few hours off to eat lunch and chill. and then i go do handyman work#which wears out my body soo badly iām so tired all the time and my body just keeps getting slower#and i canāt even sleep it all off bc i have to be up at 6am again the next day#;-;#but like i said. itās Fine. itās fine bc itās just for these last twoish weeks. and then i go back to school#and iāll have to wake up early every day for classes :ā)#but at least theyāre 9am or 9:30 classes and no 8ams bc that is the difference between hell and earth#(not heaven and earth bc they both suck most of the time but one sucks Significantly less)
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Having the weirdest experience w my tranexamic prescription and idk what to do abt it
#period talk ahead ->#anyways. so the first month I took tranexamic it did exactly what my doctor said it would. bleeding slowed down to the point#it barely felt like I was having a period. no clotting. it said stomach issues could be a side effect but I didn't experience that#so like. okay sure. we're not getting to the underlying problem of my weird horrible periods but we've treated 1.5/2ish problems w them so.#whatever.#2nd month I couldn't even take them bc my period started and by the time I could take the first dose it was already over#like. it was that short of a period. terribly heavy bleeding and clotting for roughly 4 hours and then it was done.#weird and definitely concerning but I knew better than to take off work for a dr visit cuz they wouldnt do shit#now we're on the 3rd month. again pretty heavy bleeding but it starts close enough to one of the dosage times that I can start the pills#but this time it hasn't slowed the bleeding down as much and there's a ton of clotting.#I'm also having weird hunger pangs that remind me a lot of when I was on steroids and it's fucking constant#also. last time I took them my cramps pretty much went away. and they haven't at all this time#and my abdomen is lowkey kinda sore at this point.#anyways. idk what to do cuz my dr told me to stay on them for 6 months before following up#but technically I've only taken them for 2 months.#but already I'm noticing decreased... whatever it's called when something works#but if I understand how this pill works according to my doctor it shouldn't lose effectiveness#both my OB and my PCP touted this as a practical miracle drug.#so anyways. I just don't know what to do lmfao#I really wish they'd just listened to me and put me under to do a biopsy or something cuz there's just no way this is normal#I just don't have the energy to fight back anymore.
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