#i feel like i finally have full autonomy over my body

[bookalicent]

ik it's been said but being medicated is just such a wild feeling. like i have adhd and just got recently put on adderall and being able to sense the difference of my thoughts is such a weird feeling. like ik when it hits and i can tell when it's wearing off. but also it just really reminds me of the fact i do have a mental disorder that actually affects me and isn't just "laziness and forgetfulness"

[fyodior]

awesome! do not mind me uploading my thoughts I your askbox <3

just thinking about coming home after work and not seeing dazai lounging on his usual spot on the sofa. telling yourself he must've gone to lupin, he must've gone to the cafe. only to walk into your room with the intention of getting changed and seeing him mewling while humping your pillow so desperately :(

usually hed be embarrassed and play it off. but something about the teary eyes under his heavy lashes and the way his ears pin back and his tail stands high on alert just tells you he's feeling too sensitive to even run from anything . and he's getting so frustrated , cause no matter how much he humps the stupid pillow, it's just not getting him off good enough, he needs you.

when you wrap a hand around his cock for the first time it's almost embarassing that he cums after only 2 strokes. and he's still so impossibly hard, so achey. he can't help himself when he tries to start thrusting into your hand :(

ughh and when you finally let him actually fuck you that man is not pulling out for hours. he's so completely spent out and he's bred you so full of his kits , it's all just blanks now :( he's kneading his paws into your abdomen and not stopping until he passes out!!

I know u like piss so ill totally drop in that he can be so overstimulated and focused on breeding you he simply can't help it when he looses control over his bladder too . but its not like either of you mind. and he's too focused on you wrapped around him to care.

yes yes yes i love this so much zai!!!!!!

i just love the idea of puppy dazai desperately rutting his little puppy cock against a pillow thats squished between his thighs, mewling and yowling as he tries so hard to chase a high that just won't come. a high that only you can give him. the pillow is friction, sure, but it's not anywhere close to your fist, or your mouth, or your tight wet hole. though thinking about said hole does get him a little closer to coming.

when you walk in on him, you're shocked but not surprised. dazai tends to get a little humpy in his heats, instinctually chasing friction whenever and wherever he can. pillows, couch arms, blankets, even the corner of a table once. so you just sigh and shake your head when you see the distressed puppy violating the poor pillow before settling onto the bed and pulling him in between your legs, with his back to your chest. you kiss up his neck sweetly, whispering sweet, calming things into his ear, telling him he's okay and that you've got him, while you give his cock a good few squeezes. like you said, 2 strokes later, and hot cum is spitting from the tip. he's embarrassed, immediately turning around and nuzzling into you, but you just laugh and tell him its okay, and that he's such a good puppy for responding so well to your touch <3

in dazai's heat, when you finally let the poor puppy fuck you, you better hope his heat fell over a weekend or else you're gonna have to take a couple days off from work/school because he's not letting you go any time soon. it's so animalistic and primal the way he mounts you, pressing you into the mattress as he shoves his horribly aching, leaky cock into your hole, damn near howling as he does. dazai always prided himself on his humanity, but he's more dog than not when you're under him like this. his tail is swishing, his ears are pinned back, and he's growling as he thrusts into you at a nonhuman speed and strength. the only human words coming out of his mouth are incoherent ones that revolve around breeding you full of his puppies. and i love the idea like you said of him kneading into your abdomen or your chest as a comfort/grounding thing, that's so puppy like and so cute !!

and yes yes yes yes...... he absolutely loses all rational thought and autonomy over his body to where he's not even processing anything other than how good his cock feels, ignoring how full is bladder is until what's shooting out of his cock and filling your hole isn't cum but piss. he couldn't care less in this state, and you've come to terms with it happening. it just comes with the territory of having a puppy hybrid in your life <3 <3 (thank you for indulging me sweetheart)

[talewrites]

Fragile Part 4

Remember Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle? Well, that’s you this chapter :]

Generation: Bayverse TMNT

Tmnt x Reader Fanfic

Pronouns: Gender Neutral (except ‘dudette’ and ‘princess’)

Warnings: injury, wholesome, lots of cleaning, not proof read

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

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“You IDIOTS!” A crash resounded in the room as Stockman knocked over a table full of metal tools. “How could you let go the ONE MUTANT that survived all the testing phases!” Another crash as beakers and chemicals were knocked off a table. “I never should have left you FOOLS in charge of guarding the lab. This could set us back months of progress. If we don’t find that girl, Karai will have my head!”

With an angry huff Stockman fell into his dusty office chair and spun over to his computer. He was working on updating all the computer systems there in the old Sacks building. He had joined the Foot in taking up residence there since you had compromised their position at the warehouse laboratory by the docks. They couldn’t risk a raid from the turtles and losing all his research. This location wasn’t the most inconspicuous considering its history, but since the Shredder’s initial defeat at the hands of the turtles and April, the building had been deemed unstable and labeled condemned. Since it was difficult to dismantle such a large skyscraper in the middle of the city, it had been mostly left unoccupied for the past several years. Making it the ideal base for Foot activity.

As he was sorting through old records on the computer, he came across an interesting clip in the archived surveillance videos. 

“Hmm…. interesting…. Yes, if I do that- yes…. YES! This will work nicely.” Stockman chuckled darkly to himself as he got up from his chair. Bebop and Rocksteady shared a confused look and shrugged, not understanding the sudden change in the scientist’s mood.

“Uuuuuh, hey boss, so what are we going to do about them?”

“You two aren’t going to do anything. …. yet.” Baxter’s dark chuckle echoed as he disappeared down the hallway.

It has been 2 weeks since you met the turtles. 

Initially, April had brought you a duffle bag full of comfy clothes a little bit too big for you, and some essential toiletries. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a hot shower with conditioner and soft sweatpants to put on after. Leo’s bed was warm and clean, Michelangelo cooked you delicious comfort food, and Donatello downloaded all of your favorite movies and shows you had missed. Raph one night had even knit you a cozy cardigan. The boys were all making an effort to make you feel more comfortable. But you couldn’t help but notice the reason. 

You were still scared. 

Every night you woke to terrible nightmares. And every day you felt like you were still walking on broken glass. Startling at any sudden sound or slightest touch. You noticed how Leo looked at you with pity, and Mikey wore a faltering smile. Donnie kept busy working on tracking the Foot, aside from regularly changing your bandages, and Raph- Raph just tried to keep his distance. 

You didn’t blame them. You were a stranger in their home. You were finally in a safe place, but it was like your body was still in survival mode. High strung and anxious. You wanted to do something for them. Anything, to repay them and make yourself feel useful. A distraction.

Master Splinter had on many occasions noticed your stressed and mousy demeanor. He felt the unease in their home and the distance his sons kept with their new ward. Like neither party knew how to find common ground. 

One night, he requested you join him in his meditation room for tea. You obliged.

“I sense your unease.” He stated casually.

You hesitated, then nodded. You didn’t know how to respond.

“There is nothing to be ashamed about. For so long, you lived every day, not knowing if it would be your last. You lost your autonomy, your freedom. And yet you escaped all on your own. You are very brave.”

 “….Thank you. I just wish I could feel that way. I feel so… scared. Like I’ll wake up back in that lab again and all of this would have been a dream. I… I don’t know what to do with myself.” You fussed with the teacup in your hands. 

Splinter reached across the table and offered you his hand as a comfort. You took it gently and sighed. 

“It will take time before you begin to feel like yourself again. My boys can be a little… reserved at times. It is not often we get to interact with friendly humans. Trust me when I say, they also wish for your comfort and safety. It just may take some time for them to get used to another presence in our home. In the meantime, perhaps there is something you can do that will make you feel more at home?”

You were surprised by his suggestion. They had already offered their home up to you, you wouldn’t dare ask anything more of them. But maybe…

“….a-actually… there might be something. If I could have your permission of course.” 

Splinter smiled at you.

Once your injuries had fully healed, Splinter had called upon April and Casey’s help to assist you. There was some materials you needed of course, and Mikey was let in on the big secret. You felt guilty roping in so many people just to help you feel more comfortable, but there was something you wanted to do for them, as a thank you for taking you in. April seemed ecstatic at the proposition and was eager to bring you the supplies. Casey just seemed confused that this was something you wanted to do of your own free will. And Mikey- well, he was just excited to share a hobby with you.

The cooking part, that is. Not the cleaning.

Ever since you had been brought down to the lair for safe keeping, you had noticed one glaringly obvious thing. This was a man cave in every sense of the word. The lair was terribly dirty. Dust and grime everywhere. The only clean places you noticed were the dojo, Leo’s room, and Master Splinter’s quarters. You understood that they were all living in a sewer, and they had clearly made a bit of an effort to keep it clean. But you were through avoiding sticky spots on the floor and sitting on a dirty couch. 

First things first: Donnie’s dirty coffee mug hoard. The purple turtle was currently napping in his room after an all nighter doing surveillance in coordination with the police, so now was the perfect time to clean up his station. You were extremely grateful to April for including a pair of rubber gloves in the bags of cleaning supplies she brought for you. Mikey helped you collect all the mugs and bring them to the sink, where he was in charge of washing them while you cleaned off all of Donnie’s work tables where he tinkered. You were careful not to move any projects, but wiped it clean of all its dust and stains. Then carefully sanitized all his keyboards and mouse, cleaned all of the monitors (yes all of them), and swept away the crumbs on the floor around his chair. 

Once that was complete, you moved on to the living room. Leo was currently preoccupied meditating with Master Splinter in the dojo, so no one was around to notice you swoop in and descend on the couch. Thankfully the boys no longer had a couch made of empty pizza boxes, and had upgraded to a large sectional that Casey had found them used for cheap up top. You were certain that the couch covers had never been washed since it was brought down to the sewers. You were doubly certain that the boys probably didn’t even know the cushion covers could be removed and washed. You threw the covers into the washing machine on hot water with a healthy amount of soap. Mikey then helped you move the couch so you could clean the floor underneath, and smashed the cockroach that had scrambled out from underneath. The coffee table was wiped down, the rug was taken to a railing to be hung and the dust beat out by Mikey with his nunchucks, and the floor mopped clean. 

Next was the workout room. Raph had just finished his exercise and left for the bathroom to take a shower, so you rushed in and started cleaning off every dusty and grimy sweat covered surface you could find. There was a musky scent of dirt and sweat permeating the room. All the dumbbells had a build up of grime from their sweaty hands using them for so many years. You also made sure to sanitize all of the mats and floors as well. By the time you were finished, Raph was leaving the shower and went to his room. You hid so he wouldn’t notice you as he passed by, unassuming. Then you were left with the big task.

The bathroom.

You were certain if there was a soundtrack playing in the background, dramatic horror music would be playing. You rolled up your sleeves and went in. Toilets, showers, sinks, and the massive bathtub, all scrubbed down with an unholy amount of bleach until every tiled surface shined. By the time you were finished, Mikey had come in to tell you he was ready to start on the kitchen. That was Mikey’s domain.

You were grateful that all the dishes were already clean by the time you entered the kitchen. But Mikey needed your help when it came to the cupboards and fridge.

“Mikey? ….Why do you have 3 year old expired sour cream in the fridge?”

“Huh? Isn’t it supposed to be ‘sour’? It still looks good, doesn’t it?”

“Mikey there is black mold growing in it.” 

“Oh, so…. That’s not pepper then.”

By the time you had finished clearing out the fridge and cupboards of everything expired or moldy, you had filled 3 trash bags full of garbage. Mikey helpfully took out the trash while you cleaned and organized the fridge and cupboards, and wiped down all the surfaces. By the time Mikey returned, you were rifling through the brown paper bag April got you full of ingredients and spices you had requested. 

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?” Mikey cheerfully greeted you as he rejoined you in the now clean kitchen. 

“Well… if I remember the recipe correctly, I want to make the dish my mom always made for me…”

Mikey looked at you surprised for a moment, then excitement overtook him. “Cool! Can I help?” 

You perked up at the suggestion. “Will you? I’d,… I’d love that, thank you!” Your expression melted into a warm smile, and Mikey felt his heart skip a beat. 

You looked so pretty when you smiled, he thought to himself. 

He wanted to see you smile more, just like that.

You both washed your hands and got to work. On the freshly clean kitchen counter, you had Mikey kneed cold butter into flour to make a dough, while you cut vegetables and cooked chicken on the stove. By the time Mikey was ready with the dough, there were 6 pie tins lined up to add the crust. The oven dinged and the base crust went in to brown while you stirred a large pot on the stove. Then you took out the pies and added the filling, and covered the tops with more dough. You were surprised at how large their oven was, but they were 4 giant mutant turtles and a rat. You had no doubt that each of the boys would eat a whole pie themself. The extra 2 were for Splinter, you, April, and Casey, who would be joining everyone later.

Once the oven door closed, Mikey turned up the radio that had been quietly humming tunes in the background as a fun song you hadn’t heard before played through the speakers. (‘Bad idea right?’ by Olivia Rodrigo started playing.) Mikey’s head started bobbing and he grabbed the wooden spoon you had been stirring with and began mouthing the words into it like a microphone. You giggled at his antics as he pointed a green finger at you and beckoned you out into the open of the room. You felt drawn to join him as the pop song got your head bobbing to the beat. You felt a feeling well up in your chest as the chorus started building up. Excitement bubbling until the chorus peaked and your head bobbing turned into jumping around. Before you knew it, you were dancing around the living room with Mikey holding your hands and spinning you around. You lost yourself in the freeing feeling of the stress and anxiety getting washed away by the music. All the cleaning you had done was so stress relieving you were starting to feel like yourself again.

Little did you know, the music had drawn the attention of the other brothers. Leo and Master Splinter came out from their meditation to watch in the doorway, Leo smiled and crossed his arms as he looked at you. Raph came out freshly dressed and looked surprised but shared a look with Leo that made them smirk at you and their little brother’s antics. Then Donnie trudged out and leaned against his door frame and fixed his glasses to make sure he was in fact seeing you correctly. 

You were smiling, laughing, and dancing.

“It seems as though we are seeing Miss (y/n) for the first time today.” Mused Splinter, the old rat brushing his beard.

Just then April and Casey walked in, carrying boxes they had brought down from up top.

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” April asked putting down her box.

You were happily giggling as Mikey spun you around at the end of the song. April grinned, happily surprised at the scene. Casey walked in behind her and started looking around the lair like he was seeing it for the first time, setting his box down next to April’s. This prompted Leo, Raph, and Donnie to also take a better look around their home. They slowly all walked out into the living space, looking in all directions. 

“.... Where did all my coffee cups go…?”

“Hm? Oh! They’re washed and in the cupboard!” You answered cheerily.

“.... Does…. Does the gym smell like oranges?” Raph said, baffled.

“.... Where did all the dust go? ….Does the couch look clean to you?” Leo nudged Donnie to bring his attention to the freshly washed couch covers.

There was a beat of heavy silence as the boys took in the new state of their home, then the timer above the oven dinged and you ran over to put on your oven mitts.

“The food’s ready!” You called out cheerfully.

In the next few minutes, everyone was sitting around the small kitchen table. Each turtle with a full pie in front of them, and large slices cut for Splinter, April, and Casey, and a smaller cut for yourself.

“Damn, what’s this? Smells great!” Casey exclaimed. 

“My mom showed me how to make this, it’s chicken pot pie. I hope you like it!” You said a bit shyly now that you had calmed down a bit. 

You watched as all the boys and April picked up a spoon and dug in, taking their first bite. There was a chorus of groans of approval as the boys hummed approvingly around their bite.

“Oh my god my mouth is singing!” Mikey exclaimed, trying to shovel the pie into his mouth. 

“How did you manage to get this level of flakiness into the crust? Was there any special preparation when kneading the dough?” Donnie questioned. Then Mikey mumbled out around a full mouth, ‘cold butter, dude’ which Donnie had to ask him to repeat when his mouth wasn’t full.

“Wow… I’ve never had anything like this before. Did you make this?” Leo asked. Raph was grunting in approval with each new bite he took, absorbed in his food from across the table.

You blushed and nodded. It didn’t take long for everyone to clean their plates. Casey, Mikey, and Raph all fought for seconds. Master Splinter and April were sharing very pleased looks on their faces, like they were conspiring all along. Once everyone was finished, you stood up and started to collect plates from the table.

“Oooooh no, you did enough cleaning today, let someone else take a turn, shortie.” Raph stood up to stop you.

“I don’t mind, really!” You urged, but you weren’t paying attention to where you were walking and bumped into Mikey who was taking his own plate to the sink. 

The plate dropped from his hand in surprise, and faster than anyone could react, your freehand shot out and grabbed the plate. There was a cracking sound and everyone froze to look at you. There you were, balancing 5 large heavy ceramic plates stacked in one hand, while your other hand was holding onto Mikey’s plate that had cracked and fractured in your grip. You were stunned.

“Woah… what just happened?” Mikey broke the silence.

Part 5

@itsberrydreemurstuff @thecreat0r64 @eli-chris @kurlyfrasier @autisticnutcase @drenix004 @donniesgirlie @cherryp-op @foggyturtleknightangel

If anyone else wants to be tagged for the next update, let me know in the comments! :]

[shellxrls]

tps://www.tumblr.com/shellxrls/738872659492896768/would-you-be-up-to-a-request-with-piss

i feel like coriolanus would do it with a motive eg. a display of dominance, to humiliate you etc. i’ve been thinking about him making sure you’re drinking water because yknow he just wants you to be healthy !! you don’t question him of course because why wouldn’t he? but when you slide off his lap he grabs your wrist asking where you’re going off to, you tell him, brow furrowing in confusion when he doesn’t let you leave. and then basically he humiliates you by making you wet yourself, pressing down on your bladder etc etc 😊

what pure angelic thoughts i’ve been having

I’M SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF. i love piss so much i can’t contain this anymore 😣.

MDNI | 18+ content

he distracts you with loving touches, grip gradually growing firmer until you’re forcibly stuck down in his hold and horny, rubbing yourself raw all over his dress pants and trailing a sticky damp track that stains the fabric of his crotch a darker hue.

you’re still acutely aware of the urge you have to pee, but you put it out of mind and try to focus on coryo, hoping the feeling would subside and you could scuttle away and use the toilet after you’d been satisfied.

until he decides to move a hand from your waist down to the centre of your pelvis, pressing down unwaveringly and watching you flinch as your eyes widen in sudden panic.

“c’mon you can let go, ‘m right here sweetheart,” he murmurs, lips upturned in faux sympathy and actions a harsh juxtaposition to his words, pressing down harder on your entirely too full bladder and slapping away your hands - clawing desperately at his own larger ones to try and get him away - while his words proposed false autonomy.

“please let me go coryo, please,” you whine, unable to hold it in for much longer and desperate not to piss all over him.

“doesn’t have to be this difficult angel,” he grunts lowly, moving his other hand to thumb at your clit, lifting your hood and pressing hard and fast on the sore bud. and before you’re able to hold back, or voice anymore protests, your countenance breaks, and you let go, soaking through his pants as your whole body stutters and you orgasm alongside your release, hole clenching around air while your hips rock lightly against the warm mess - pussy lewdly squelching against the soaked fabric while his twitching dick is still confined inside his pants.

“you’re so fucking dirty you know that?” he spits, grinning as he bucks his hips into you and watches you wither under his gaze, tutting lightly at your refusal to look him in the eye before going to finally unzip his pants, “‘m not done with you yet.”

[nonotnolan]

The Ends Justify The Means

As always, this February story is dedicated to my valentine, @mergeman

"Okay, but did we have to add him to the Hivemind?" Jordan said, looking at his unconscious boss with a look of resigned disappointment. "If I end up with an old man's vocabulary because of him, I'm gonna be so upset. This body looks too good to sound like a geezer." He tossed his shirt to the ground and gave me a flex. "See what I mean?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Some humans stress-tested my 40% Free Will rule, and Jordan was definitely one of them. "One, bringing him into the Collective is the only way to bend his authority to our will. Two, the symbiote doesn't change our speech, it just enhances our knowledge. And three, the eventual goal is to overtake most of humanity anyway. We were gonna have to add Shaun sooner or later."

Jordan nodded, though I doubted he was paying any attention me. He was one of the part-time workers I had converted within the past two hours, and so his symbiote half was still checking out his new body. I can't blame it, I suppose.

I wasn't sure this plan was even going to work, so I was glad we managed to succeed. Capturing the part-time college students who worked here had been easy-- a bit of flirting from a tempting body, a kiss to introduce the symbiote, rinse and repeat. Shaun had been much more difficult. We had to resort to ambushing him in the bathroom where there we no cameras. Jordan's strength held him in place while I pried open his jaw to insert the new symbiote. It was far from elegant-- Shaun was stronger than he looked-- but at least it worked.

Shaun finally opened his eyes, and looked at me with a wry grin. "Alright, sir. I know we have a lot to talk about, but let's retreat somewhere else, shall we? It's cramped in here, and I think Jordan is a few moments away from whipping his dick out."

"You're not wrong," I said, shaking my head. "We should probably leave him to it. If nothing else, it will be nice to talk things over someplace a bit... less pungent. I assume you know what is going to be expected of you?"

"I do," Shaun says, crossing his arms. "Although I was hoping to talk to you about that one. I scheduled Darren to work Valentine's Day because I haven't had that day off for the past three years. This body's wife is threatening to make life miserable if I still have to work the holiday despite my recent promotion. I have a proposal for you."

I smiled at the audacity of this symbiote. Clearly its host body had a lot of confidence.

"Darren will still get the day off, of course," Shaun said. "But instead of working the day myself, I'll just tell Jenn that she's going to have to handle the shift solo. We don't need two store managers tomorrow night-- no one goes furniture shopping on Valentine's."

----------------------------------------------

"You'll never guess what happened today!" Darren said, greeting me when I arrived home. He and I had been dating for a few weeks now, ever since I was granted control over this host body. Unlike the symbiotes who were mostly extensions of my mind and my personality, I had full control and full autonomy over my decisions. Coming out of the closet was one of the first changes I made to this host's former life.

"Your store is actually closing for a holiday?" I guessed, walking up to him and hugging him from behind. I held him close, feeling the heat of his body against my borrowed chest. Humans were very big on physical contact, and it was a ritual I was more than happy to join.

Darren chuckled as he turned around for a quick kiss. "Okay, so it wasn't a miracle. But it was still pretty crazy! Shaun texted me, and approved my vacation time for tomorrow. Can you believe that? I've never known him to change his mind like that before."

I just smiled at him. "Maybe your District Manager yelled at him about it? You did submit that request a few months ago." As much as I hated feeding white lies and omitted facts to my boyfriend, I couldn't justify telling him my full truth this early in the relationship. Anyway, the only way I'd be filling him with a symbiote would be if we broke up and he posed a risk to my secret. I wanted a relationship with an equal, not a masturbatory fling with a clone of myself. Anyway, what was the phrase? The ends justify the means.

"Well, maybe." He paused a few minutes to consider this possibility before shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know, and I'm not going to question it. I'm just glad you kept those dinner reservations! I'm looking forward to tomorrow's date!" He smiled, and I could feel my heart melting. I would do anything in my power to make him happy.

[sserpente]

A/N. Request by @eleniblue. This turned out a lot darker and more demanding than I anticipated. Best example for “characters do what they want”. Oh well! ;-)

Words: 1356 Warnings: President Loki being President Loki, implied dub-con smut, lots of talk of politics

Loki—no, President Loki—flicked through the pages of your file filled to the brim with several arrests from your countless protests, articles you wrote for non-profit organisations and all of your previous demands and proposals to the White House, all of which had fallen on deaf ears. The United States of America was one sexist country when it came down to it. You clenched your fists. How was it a man got to decide over your body? Where did the notion of men being smarter come from? Because they could pee standing up with a fleshy noodle?

“You have caused quite a stir among my male senators,” he said without looking up. Rude. And what was even ruder was the fact that he was outrageously handsome and charming.

“Oh yeah? Did I make them uncomfortable?” You lifted your chin, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Loki chuckled. “Very much so.”

“Good.”

“So much so, in fact, that they begged me to muzzle you when I first brought you up, did you know?” Finally, the new head of the country met your piercing gaze. “Your file is impressive. You have made quite a name for yourself.” You shivered when he spoke your full name. “I have been looking forward to finally meeting you.”

He made it seem like it had been his idea to meet you and listen to what you had to say and that pissed you off. Arsehole. You scoffed.

“I can’t say the feeling is mutual considering how you came to sit in that chair in the first place, Mr. President.”

But the truth was, you had requested an audience with the God of Mischief. Perhaps it was selfish, insane even… but when everyone’s life got turned upside down and a literal god declared he would now be ruling this realm as its king, part of you had seen the tiniest glimmer of hope. Hope that he, unlike the human presidents, would listen to reason and support the idea of feminism rather than fight it and act all hurt like a lost little puppy.

Loki smiled at you—almost as if he knew something you did not which was probably the case. He was making you nervous, you were not going to deny that. But then again, the whole point of your visit was to convince him of your opinion. For that, you had to be confident. It was surprising enough he had agreed to meet you in the first place.

“Is that so? I must admit, I did expect a little more politeness and respect. You want something from me, do you not?”

You cleared your throat. “Yes. I came here to tell you about me. About us. Hundreds of women have already joined our cause, thousands more online across the country.”

“And what do you want?” he asked as if he already knew.

You sat up straight. “We want equality. We want the same pay for the same work, we want autonomy over our own bodies and we want fairness in all aspects of life. Most importantly though… we want you to end the abortion ban immediately.”

Loki considered your words for a moment. “Well, I will need some more details than that to change the laws in your favour of your… what is you mortals call it? Feminism?”

“You could at least let me explain… wait, what?” You paused, processing his words. Make changes to the law?

“I see here the reasons for your protests and marches are quite legitimate. In fact, it baffles me women appear to have fewer rights in this realm. If they are dependent on men when it comes to reproduction, it does not surprise me you demand your voice and scream it from the rooftops.” Your lips parted. He… agreed? “Your work has been impressive so far. You are a born leader it seems, and you have a way with words.”

With a start, excitement rippled through your entire body. “I… I can help. I have spent months drafting new and adjusted bills…”

Loki lifted his hand, silencing you. “It will take time. The senators are quite terrified of simple equality merely because it would threaten their privileged status.”

“Let them be,” I breathed out.

Loki smirked. “I cannot forgo them all, you see. That would be very unwise of me to do. Most humans are quite narrow-minded but the senators are amenable and I intend to rule this realm your trusted way, whether you like it or not.”

“They already know about all of my proposals and they know what I stand for. How long do you expect us to wait?” Gosh, this was brilliant… this was the furthest you had ever gotten! Had you just called him an arsehole before? You hadn’t meant it, you…

“Let that be my concern. But rest assured it will be done. You will see the results soon. Ambition and persistence such as yours should be rewarded. I admit it was quite bold of you to request a meeting with me.” Your heart skipped a beat. What you didn’t expect was that your pussy would clench at his praise.

“Oh my god… thank you. Thank you! You have no idea how much this means for our progress. We have been fighting for our rights for years. The abortion ban was such a setback and now…”

“Stop,” Loki interrupted you, surprisingly gentle. “We haven’t spoken about what you can offer me in return for my generosity yet.”

Your smile faded.

“Now, now, don’t look so frightened, pet. All I ask for is your support. A lot of people look up to you. You will tell them you support the new president and that you will serve him with pride. Can you do that for me?”

You gnashed your teeth. “I’m not going to lie to anybody.”

“I am not asking you to. I want you to show them the excitement you have shown me just now.” He leaned forward, looking you directly in the eye.

“F-fine.” You were so close. You had nothing to lose at this point.

Loki chuckled. He stood, slowly walking around the massive mahogany desk. You swallowed when he grabbed your chin faster than you were able to react. “Good. Then let us seal the deal, shall we? Kneel.”

“W-what?”

“Kneel before your king. You want my support, you give me your submission, pet. And don’t deny it. I have seen the way you first looked at me when you entered the room. Ah, was that… lust I just saw flickering in those pretty eyes?” Your eyes widened, the atmosphere in the entire room shifting within a fraction of a second. His dominance nearly knocked you backward, his sudden interest in you intimidating and… exciting. Or had he just been hiding it before? Was this why he had agreed to meet you in the first place, you thought, panicking?

“You wish,” you choked out, pressing your legs together in a desperate attempt to hide the effect he had on you… and your body. Because he was right. Something had been wrong with you since the very moment you had walked into the room and you hated yourself for it. You had prayed Loki wouldn’t notice but it seemed the God of Mischief was incredibly perceptive.

“Hmm… I believe my price for your proposal just… increased.”

Your eyes widened. “You… you fucking wouldn’t.”

“And you have quite the mouth on you.”

“That defeats the entire purpose of what you just agreed to help me with!”

“Does it now? Your body begs to differ, pet. But be that as it may…” He forced you to your knees with a start, an invisible force pulling you toward the marble floor. You gasped, looking up at him. “You would do well to remember I am not one of your precious Avengers. Self-righteousness is not my style. You came here with a proposal, pet. And I will give you what you need the way I see fit.”

You swallowed. You had a feeling he wasn’t talking about women’s rights anymore and the worst part was that part of you was enjoying it.

A/N: Check out my blog for more Imagines and my original novel(s)! ♥

[triscribe]

Thank you for your honesty! That's okay! Tell me about Finn. Now I'm intrigued! 😁

FINN my BOY

The Force Awakens introduced so much potential, with this literal no-name stormtrooper who could have come from anywhere in the galaxy, taken and molded and pushed into serving the First Order with no identity beyond being a good little cog in the machine, and the first time he gets to see up close and personal how that machine steam rolls over innocent people in its path, his reaction is to give a hard pass

I just. Words do not describe how much I love this concept. And even better, this is a main character, one part of the Big Trio we were meant to get for this trilogy, he's not a throwaway background "move the plot a step forward but otherwise don't do anything" guy, he's not a traitor who does one helpful thing and then dies for it in the name of freedom or revolution, he gets out, and even with clear reluctance, he finds something bigger and better to throw himself into

And yeah, there are the obvious parallels with the clone troopers of the old Republic, literally created to be cogs in their machine, born with numbers instead of names and given extremely little autonomy but for what they carved out for themselves in a hundred thousand unique little ways - but even beyond all of that, I look at the clones, I look at FN and his fellows, I feel like Maz Kanata seeing the same eyes in different faces

Those are children raised to be living weapons

Those are people raised strictly and sternly and told they have no choice, why would they even want a silly choice, this is the best and only option, this is the only thing they'll ever be good for-

But Star Wars is all about choice

Yes, Finn's squadmate died in front of him, left that bloody handprint on his helmet, but that's not a loss that rips apart his world. That's not a farmstead burned down, a species massacred, a planet obliterated. That's his reality, that he and all his fellow troopers are meant to live and fight and die for those above them - it should, in theory, be the easiest thing in the world to stand up, to shoot, to get back in that transport and return to the First Order and continue onward

But it isn't

Maybe Finn could have been Force sensitive, maybe that was never in the cards, but regardless, he heard those screams and saw the falling bodies, he went back up on the shuttle and saw a captured enemy pilot and he chose

The greatest tragedy of the clone troopers is that at the final moment, when Operation Knightfall kicked into full gear, they didn't get to choose. A set of pre-determined words flipped a switch inside their heads, and good soldiers follow orders, sir, if the Emperor declares these folks are traitors, well, traitors to the Empire must die, and once they're all dead we move on to the next set of orders and the next, good soldiers follow orders, so do good citizens of the Empire, those that don't get to deal with the consequences

How many of their ghosts got to cheer, when a nobody no-name kid, molded to wear white armor and shaped to hold a blaster in his hands, heard his orders and refused, and then went on to choose a course of action that helped take down the biggest superweapon the galaxy had ever seen?

The clones seized what choices they could, with their names and their paint and whatever else they managed, up until the biggest choice of all was stripped from them

FN-2187 didn't even get those tiny scraps of self-expression, of identity, of any choice at all, until he found himself on the edge of a precipice all his fellow squad members jumped into without a second thought, and pulled himself away

The rest of the sequels chickening out of doing a hell of a lot more with that is definitely in the top five travesties of the entire damn franchise, I swear.

[theleslistuff]

Danny may 2024

Day 11 Mutation

The ice beast

Second part of; https://www.tumblr.com/theleslistuff/697151428019486720/the-ice-king-no-one-knows-au-but-what-if-dannys?source=share

Ghost king Danny au, Nobody knows au, Feral ghost puberty au

Warnings; body horror, loss of humanity and autonomy, self harm, attempt to suicide

Danny has taken over the ghost zone in matter of days, the title of king is rightfully his anyways, there was no real opposition.

But he could not help but to feel insecure...

Every royal seems to look at him in pity, talk slower to him as if he could not understand, except for prince Aragon who would hold a proud grin around him as if the dragon Lord knew something he didn't knew.

Even so, he liked to have him as a company, feeling he's treating him normally unlike his annoying sister who would try to approach him like all the others with slow pet-like talk.

-Shut up! -

The ghost boy yelled at the lady, not really listening to anything she said... Not wanting to recognize he barely understands anything in his last 3 meetings, he used to understand when everyone talked slowly despite how annoying it was, with Aragon he doesn't understand anything at all, but feeling comfort in him talking to him like he understands has made him agree to sign every paper he brings.

That's the reason for Dora's visit.

-Shh... It's alright my liege... I'm just... Trying to make you... See, my brother... Will take your crown... When ghost puberty ends... -

The ghost lady said as slow and understandable as possible, like talking to a wild animal, it was evident for the horns, sharp fangs, tail, spines and fur on their king who used to be a humanoid ghost, he's going through an awful ghost puberty and unlike the far frozen (who he refused to call them for help), Danny has been acting more... feral.

-I don't care!, get out! -

He yelled at her as he pushed her out side, he was not angry for something he didn't understood, he is angry because he no longer understood a word.

-This should have stopped, why is it not stopping?! -

The ghost boy exclaimed as he looked at his hands..., his nails have gotten longer and black, the fur has covered his skin completely, as he turned his hands to see his palms, it's evident de dark color on his fingertips and a bigger patch on his palm with no hair in those areas and getting gradually numb as the black skin swells it's evident those are no longer hands but just...

Paws

He clenched his hands into a fist, not wanting to see his disfigured hands.

Pacing in circles around the meeting room tries to calm himself down.

-It's ok..., I'm the king now..., I don't have to be in disposal all the time..., I'll just... Stay here until it stops... -

He said to himself, he doesn't notice he has been purring and growling when he walks, but when he finally does, he abruptly stops, his tail slapping the floor in anger makes him finally snap and let go a roar as he grabs the long tail and tries to rip it off, making large cuts with his claws and teeth... He has gotten past the point he could cut it long ago...

He winced in pain when one cut reached a nerve, he dropped the tail and allowed it to heal back.

Danny wanted to cry and scream, but he couldn't show weakness, he couldn't show he was not in control of his own body and he was not a full ghost...

He feels his face ache..., he knows when something in him aches the next time he sees it, it's a monstrous new version of it.

This makes his heart sink

he puts his hands on his face in a poor attempt to stop it, the ache turns into full pain as his mandibles began to crack and stretch.

He let go of his face and screamed, dropping on his knees as he did.

The process never stopped and he could feel his jaw open wider as it resembled more a muzzle, with his gums turning black as the little human teeth he had sharpened and reshaped all along the muzzle, his tongue turns green and rough resembling a feline tongue, his nostrils began to bleed as they were forced to grow wider and change their position and even color and texture resembling a canine nose.

But as soon as it started, it stopped.

He was panting exhausted for the change, even so he raised a hand to his face, immediately feeling a snout similar to the far frozen people..., His snout...

He immediately put down his hand and got up, he hasn't noticed his back got slightly curved too, all thanks to the cape he wears... But the shock of the muzzle is too much for him.

-I'm... A beast... -

The boy said with a strange feeling because of the new muzzle, some saliva is dripping from it, totally horrified and grossed out he runs around the room trying to find something... Anything to end this, to not feel this any longer and he knows his claws are not enough, when he finds a sword in the room he's almost relieved as he holds it... Pointing at his core, laughing and crying as he prepares to dig it inside of his chest, he raised it high and...

An ecto blast threw the sword away from his hands.

He turned around to see the responsible...

Dora didn't wait for him to react as she rushed by his side and hugged him.

-It's ok...-

She said in a soft tone..., he could not understand it, but it made him feel... Safe.

He hugged her back and cried.

-I don't... Want to be a... Monster... -

She didn't answer, it was no use... He could not understand her and she knows she could not lie about his destiny...

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Any thoughts you’d like to share on the other origins characters? Anything you like about them :)

Again, haven't played the game so these are my general thoughts based on a few romance compilations, YouTube Shorts, and memes. If anybody would like to rectify this, please Venmo me $500 so I can buy a PS5.

Shadowheart

Admittedly don't know that much about her other than the emos love her and she follows a goddess of loss. Looks like her arc is all about questioning institutions and her god, which I think is very sexy of her. If anybody has a quest line compilation video to recommend so I can see her whole story, please send it my way.

Lae'zel

The other origin character I admittedly don't know that much about. Still love an arc about questioning the system she was raised in and her god. Again, very sexy of her. Fish out of water stories are some of my favorites. Pair that with a hardened character learning to enjoy the gentler things in the world, and you've got yourself a banger. I should really look up her quest line at some point to get a full view of it.

Karlach

Best girl. Strong muscles, soft heart. I want her to be my best friend IRL. She deserves better and if there is any way to get a better ending that allows her to stay in Faerun, the studio needs to get on that ASAP. In the meantime, I'm going to stay in the part of the internet that says she's fine don't worry about it. I'm hugging her and there is nothing you can do about it.

Wyll

Sweet boy. A perfect boy who did nothing wrong ever. Yeah, yeah, sold his soul to a devil, but he had a good reason. Plus, he was seventeen. Nobody should let a seventeen year old make any decisions ever. I do need to find a good romance compilation. He needs more love. His friendship with Karlach is everything to me.

Gale

People really need to stop complaining about this man. I see too many being ragging on about how he's not over his ex and keeps bringing her up. "With you I forget my goddess?" That isn't him saying with you he forgets his ex, he's saying with you he forgets his god. How are we all not collectively swooning? And he's a nerd who will info dump about his passions? Sign me the fuck up. His comfy pjs and burnt out gifted kid swagger has bewitched me body and soul.

Astarion

Guys, you've seen my blog. I'm obsessed with him.

The moment I saw this asshole pop up on my dash, I knew I was going to love him. He was the reason I decided to finally look up a romance compilation once I realized my computer was too old to let me run the game. He's my type to the point of parody. Literally anybody who knows me, knows this guy would end up being my favorite.

His arc is about bodily autonomy and trauma. He's allowed to not be the perfect victim. He's angry and violent. He's selfish and terrified. And he is, sadly, one of the few characters who, as part of his arc, realizes he can say no to sex and he can be loved without it.

My point is, it should be no surprise to anybody that the ace community loves this man, and anybody complaining about it should shut up.

If you want to write your sexy Astarion fanfic, there is nothing stopping you. More power to you. I've seen the graveyard scene too. I recognize that regaining his autonomy and being able to have sex with somebody he cares about is part of the healing process.

At the same time, if writers want to interpret his arc is him realizing he never wants to have sex again, and that being okay; let them. We need this. There are so few characters like him out there.

At some point I do want to write an hour long video essay about his arc and how it's resonated with the ace community specifically.

Anyway, those are my general thoughts. I feel like I just swung a bat at a hornet's nest with that last bit, but what's life without a little danger?

[vampire-exgirlfriend]

Ten characters. Ten fandoms.

Thanks for the tag @theradioactivespidergwen 🖤 I love this!

1. Aemond Targaryen

I don't think any of us are surprised by this. Aemond is...the boy is everything to me. He's let himself become so warped and tortured by his trauma that recovery and self betterment were never an option. He's full of rage, he's cutting off pieces of himself to stay Mommy's good little boy, he's begging his father via his actions to notice him, notice him, notice him. The toxicity is off the charts and I would give my life for this scared child in a man's body.

2. Nesta Archeron

Nesta is a stone cold bitch and I would die for her. This woman, barely not a girl, was ready to sell her body to ensure a better life was possible for her sisters, and the entire time she was denigrated by Feyre for "doing nothing" because what she did was woman's work. Who do you think did the cooking? The cleaning? The clothes mending? She helped end a war. She was violated. She had her autonomy stripped from her. She was not allowed to process her trauma in the way that came naturally to her because it was a mirror that Rhys couldn't handle looking in. Very few people deserve a happy ending as much as she does.

3. Kylo Ren

Give me a character that is tortured by their actions and the legacy of their past and I will show you my favorite little baby in the whole world. He's so alone. He doesn't know his way in the world. He can't live up to his mother or uncle or father or grandfather and it's eaten away at something vital inside of him, leaving him rotting. The mental torture and abuse he's endured at the hands of Snoke have twisted him into something unrecognizable. And I love him, damn it.

4. Ophelia

She is hope. She is madness. She is full of life and love and all of the things the people try to chip away at as we grow up. This rendition of Ophelia stands above the rest for me because she was finally given the opportunity to set aside her suffering and continue on, even if it's with the knowledge of what genuine pain feels like.

5. Zuko

Are we really surprised by the addition of another angry young man searching through vindication and the reclamation of his honor by living up to the expectations of people who never truly cared about them? This list has a theme apparently. Zuko had one of the best and most rewarding character arcs of all time and his journey is one I literally watch over and over. Also Zutara forever.

6. Sansa Stark

Sansa is all of the things that were conditioned not to like when it comes to a character. She's feminine and a little whiney and naive. She's fodder for torture. And yet she's also one of the strongest characters in this entire series, both book and show (boo hiss). Sansa Stark turns her fear into hope and her hope into strength and I will never not love her.

7. Fleabag

I am her. She is me. Fleabag will never fail to rip my entire heart out and feed it back to me. She's awful. She's incredible. She's in pain. She's stumbling through life in the dark and using her suffering as a marker on the map.

8. Astarion

The theme continues. Suffering? Check. Insurmountable pain? Check. Using his body as a way to ensure his safety? Check. Saved via the power of love and friendship? Check. Astarion's arc follows a typically feminine-coded route and I was obsessed from the get go with this cunty little man. I want to wrap him in a blanket burrito. I want to sink my teeth into him. I want to spray him with a hose.

9. Eddie Munson

I'm not sure I've ever loved a character quite like I've loved Eddie Munson. The absolute heart of gold inside that poorly tattooed chest literally fuels me. He's insecure. He's an asshole. He's kind. He's angry. He's unsure of his place in the world. I will forever ignore the senseless tragedy of his death. It never happened. Nope. No. If I loved him less, I could talk about it more.

10. Dani Clayton

Dani Clayton, the love of my life. Though she weeps and trembles and avoids at all costs, there is no one stronger than Dani. She's suffered since the beginning and never let it stop her, not until she had to save the woman she loved by giving her very life. Tortured, haunted, so full of grief that it had nowhere to go. I would literally die for her.

No pressure tags: @jadore-andor @emilykaldwen @massivecolorspygiant @corrabell @cheesybadgers @ladylannisterxo @niocel @middimidoris

[celestiall0tus]

How the Kwamis work in my AUs

As per an ask, I want to go over how I've reworked the kwamis in my AUs. In general, they primarily function the same, but I'll get into those deviations here as well. Now, let's begin:

General:

The kwamis received a massive overhaul. No longer are they creatures to be contained and kept in check. They are divine entities that have their own autonomy and freedom. Their concepts have been reworked to feel more like actual abstract concepts rather than their powers, like Illusion or Teleportation. The kwamis, once their jewels are activated, are bound to the person and cannot be removed by anyone aside from the holder. Furthermore, there are 27 main kwamis that I use that come with a pair. The paired kwamis function as opposites, yin and yang. Paired kwamis can cancel out the others powers, working as a balance. When paired holders come in contact, they will neutralize the use of each other's powers. I.e. if the freedom holds connection, freedom cannot teleport and connections can't communicate telepathically. The opposites are also immune to the effects of the other. I.e. sorrow uses their sadness aura, joy is unaffected. The exception to this ruleset is the five remaining kwamis of this set of 27. These five have no counter and can swing either way depending on the hearts of mortals. I.e. Health being able to either cure or inflict diseases depending on a person's heart and agenda.

The kwamis, and their pairs and new concepts, are as followed.

Ladybug and Black Cat - Creation and Destruction

Bee and Spider - Devotion and Betrayal

Mouse and Pig - Perception and Ignorance

Fox and Lynx - Deception and Honesty (the most paradoxical pairing)

Dog and Rooster - Love and Animosity

Bat and Tiger - Fear and Valor

Ant and Goat - Drudgery and Revelry (Ant changes to the horse in Salvation)

Monkey and Raven - Joy and Sorrow

Horse and Rabbit - Freedom and Connection (Freedom does change quite frequently through my AUs along with Intuition)

Wolf and Owl - Intuition and Knowledge (Like Freedom, Intuition changes)

Bull and Koala - Determination and Lethargy

Cow and Swan - Body and Soul

Cicada and Chameleon - Reality and Imagination

Dolphin and Seal - Memory and Oblivion

Robin and Dove - Genesis and Destiny

Shark and Bear - Time and Space

Finally, the set of five:

Snake - Health/Life

Turtle - Protection

Butterfly - Transformation

Peacock - Beauty

Dragon - Nature

List of weapons here

Lastly, each pair possesses a Miracle power that must be used with the other half willingly. I.e Creation can create anything permanent, only after Destruction has destroyed something of equal value to be created. Or Connection can broadcast a message that transcends language and distance with the assistance of Freedom.

Now, the powers work differently based on the AU. So, let's dive into that:

Miraculous AU:

The first AU I started and is still ongoing. This is full of experimental ideas that not all carried over to the other AUs. I will explain them and give a brief why they didn't carry over:

The holders would get stronger the more they used their powers and the stronger the bond was with their kwami. It works for this AU, as there is an essence of time to allow this. In the others, the stakes are higher, so the systems work differently. It is also integral to the story as the bonds with the kwamis have plot relevance, especially with Papillon and later Lord Bug.

The kwamis fall into one of three categories based of their concepts: Defensive, Combative, Hybrid. I honestly don't know what I was thinking or why it seemed like it was a good idea at the time, but it is extremely flawed. Essentially, kwamis would offer special protections or skills the closer they were with their holders. I.e. the ladybug holder couldn't be hurt, but wasn't good at fighting while the black cat holder excelled in combat, but was a glass cannon. It is a messy system and didn't carry over.

Greater and lesser powers. So, the powers in this AU were to gauge what would work, carry over, and figure out what was OP. While powers have changed, the system did too later on. In this AU, you have holders with three sets of powers. Lesser powers they can use more freely while greater powers were limited to one use per transformation until they were stronger. The third power was their miracle power, the Miraculous. The Miraculous stayed the same, but the system of lesser and greater powers changed.

The holders and their kwamis and powers (lesser then greater) are as followed:

Ladybug - Marinette - Creation and Good Luck Aura (Lucky Charm)

Black Cat - Adrien - Destruction and Black Luck Aura (Cataclysm)

Bee - Chloe - Charm and Bless

Spider - Zoe - Betrayal Inducement and Bond Destruction

Mouse - Juleka - Omni Senses and Perception Manipulation

Pig - Amelie (Initally) - Ignorance and Defiance (Ignore)

Fox - Lila - Illusions and Shapeshifting

Lynx - Marc - Truth Detection and Axiom

Dog - Sabrina - Love Inducement and Indomitable Love

Rooster - Felix - Hatred/Anger inducement and Berserk

Bat - Mylene - Fear Inducement and Terror Constructs

Tiger - Kim - Courage inducement and Clout (just like the show)

Ant - N/A

Goat - Ondine - Sin Inducement and Anarchy

Monkey - Bridgette - Joy Inducement and Euphoria

Raven - Nathaniel - Sorrow Inducement and Incorporeal

Horse - Alix - Teleportation and Defiance

Rabbit - Rose - Telepathy and Connections (threats of fate)

Wolf - Alya - Tracking and Clairvoyance

Owl - Max - TBA

Bull -Ivan - Hope Inducement and Indomitable Will

Koala - N/A

Finally, the set of five:

Snake - Luka - Cure and Rejuvenation

Turtle - Nino - Shield Generation and Invincible

Butterfly - Gabriel - Wither and Transform

Peacock - Nathalie - Beauty Manipulation and Mesmerize

Dragon - Kagami - Form shift (has for elemental forms to shift between to control the elements.)

Alright, next!

Salvation - Game of Gods and Men:

Here's where the deviations and changes begin. Salvation introduces the concept of Holders and Avatars with different rules for each.

Holders are what you get in the show. Has to transform to use powers, active their powers through a phrase, and overall limited. They have one power to use as many times as they want, but typically a lesser power.

Avatars are demigods. They are the mortals that consumed (yes, I said consumed) the essence of the kwami, i.e. the kwami itself. Providing they survive the ordeal, they are forever changed. Their bodies are essentially dead save for their still beating heart. They don't need food, sleep, breath, and are sterilized. They cannot fall ill to mundane diseases nor killed by worldly means. The only way to kill an Avatar is by another Avatar's powers or weapons (unless you are the turtle). With all the powers that they gain, they gain access to an unleashed form that is their true form. A mix of human and kwami, their Avatar forms, but only once they've mantled their concepts and stay true to their concepts.

Avatars gain three additional powers, giving them four. While there is no technical limit, there is. Each Avatar has a pool of power they can draw from. If they tap it out before resting or eating, then they will draw on their own life force. Should an Avatar do this, it will shorten their lifespan until they die. Furthermore, an Avatar that truly embodies their consumed concept can achieve their Avatar form. While in this form, they gain two more powers, but only while in this form.

The Holders and Avatars are as followed:

Ladybug - Luka- Creation

Black Cat - Kagami - Destruction

Bee - Marinette (Avatar) - Bond Creation, Bless, Command, Devotion Empowerment (in Avatar mode) Authority and Domination

Spider - Nathalie (Avatar) - Treachery Inducement, Bond Destruction, Psychological Intuition, and Teachery Empowerment (in Avatar mode) Will Breaker and Killer Instincts.

Mouse - Alya (Avatar) - Omni Senses, Perception Manipulation, Clarity, and Hyper Awareness (in Avatar mode) Astral Vision and Divination

Pig - N/A

Fox - Marc - Illusions

Lynx - Lila - Truth Compulsion

Dog - Nathaniel - Indomitable Love

Rooster - Audrey - Berserk

Bat - Felix (Avatar) - Fear Inducement, Phobia Creation, Fear Empowerment, and Terror Constructs (in Avatar mode) Submission and Nemesis Form

Tiger - Alix - Clout (just like the show)

Ant - Tomoe - Command

Goat - Nino - Sin Inducement

Monkey - Kim - Joy Inducement

Raven - Anarka - Sorrow Inducement

White Cat - Adrien - Teleportation

Rabbit - Rose - Telepathy

Deer - Sabrina - Tracking

Owl - Zoe (Avatar) - Story Mimicry, Memory Reading, Instant Learning, and Hyper Mind (in Avatar mode) Fathomless Mind and Omniscience

Bull - Chloe (Holder then Avatar) - Hope Inducement (Holder & Avatar power), Hope Empowerment, Stampede, and Indomitable Will (in Avatar mode) Self-Resurrection and Lifeless Continuation

Koala - Sabine - Tranquility

Finally, the set of five:

Snake - Juleka - Healing

Turtle - Bridgette (Avatar) - Shield Generation, Invincibility, Fortification Creation, and Hyper Evasion (in Avatar mode) Counter and Decay

Butterfly - Colt (Avatar) - Mutation Inducement, Mental Manipulation, Construct Creation, and Transmutation (in Avatar mode) Amalgamation and Reconfiguration

Peacock - Gabriel - Mesmerize

Dragon - Mylene - Form shift (has four elemental forms to shift between to control the elements.)

Next!

Absolution:

The system is kept simple in this one. Each holder gets one passive power that is either always active or they can use an unlimited amount of times while they get a primary power they can use a handful of times.

The cast is also smaller. Here they are and their powers:

Ladybug - Marinette - Creation

Black Cat - Adrien - Destruction

Bee - Chloe - Empower and Command

Mouse - Juleka - Omni Senses and Perception Manipulation

Fox - Lila - Illusions and Shapeshifting

Wolf - Alix - Teleportation and Defiance

Rabbit - Rose - Telepathy and Connections (threats of fate)

Deer - Alya - Tracking and Clairvoyance

Ox - Ondine - Indomitable Strength and Invincibility

Snake - Luka - Cure and Rejuvenation

Turtle - Nino - Shield Generation and Invincible

Butterfly - Nathalie - Transmutation and Mental Manipulation

Rooster - Nathaniel - Anger Inducement and Berserk

Raven - Marc - Sorrow Inducement and Incorporeal

Next!

Paradise:

Took me long enough to get this damn one sorted through, but it finally took off. The system of Paradise borrows from an aspect of Salvation, namely the Avatars. They have one power they can use as many times as they like, but there is a drawback. They will first go through the kwamis power reserves, and after that should they use their powers, they draw on their own life.

The holders are:

Ladybug - Marinette - Creation

Black Cat - Zoe - Destruction

Bee - Chloe - Bond Creation

Spider - Felix - Bond Destruction

Mouse - Nathalie - Tracking (perception edition)

Pig - Alix - Ignore

Dog - Sabrina - Love Constructs

Rooster - Juleka - Berserk

Tiger - Nino - Clout

Bat - Rose - Fear Augmentation

Goat - Luka - Anarchy

Rabbit - Mylene - Threads of Connection

Butterfly - Emilie - Transmutation

Peacock - Amelie - Beauty Manipulation

Turtle - Gabriel - Shield Generation

Snake - Adrien - Healing

Dragon - Kagami - Nature Manipulation minus fire

Swan - Ondine - Soul Reading

Cow - Kim - Golem Creation

Next!

Amaranthine:

So, yeah, this one. No activation phrases needed for powers, strong variations of the powers that make them like gods, and seemingly unlimited use. However, should the holders sustain enough damage or has used all the power reserves of the kwami, they'll de-transform and pass out from the strain.

Furthermore! There is a concept within this AU known as Soulbound. This is soulmates for kwamis. Kwamis can become soulbound with mortal souls they have been with in different incarnations of that mortal's life. This level of a bond between kwami and mortal allows for both to feel, experience, and think as one. And, yes, Marinette and Longg are soulbound. And if you think it's a massive advantage, you are right, but also oh so wrong.

Holders are:

Ladybug - Chloe - Creation

Black Cat - Zoe - Destruction

Fox - Alya - Illusions

Dragon - Marinette - Nature Manipulation

Snake - Luka - Wound Inducement

Butterfly - TBA (I ain't revealing this until they show up in the story. So, if you know, congrats. You get a cookie and politely asked to keep your mouth shut) - Transmutation

Next!

Separate Worlds:

This system is basically Absolution but the passive is something that is always active and not a power to use while their primary power is an actual power that can be used an unlimited amount of times, but are severely limited in what they can do.

Holders are as followed:

Peacock - Juleka - Absolute Beauty and Mesmerization

Dragon - Rose - Being Reworked

Turtle - Mylene - Invincibility and Fortification Generation

Butterfly - Adrien - TBA and Transmutation

Snake - TBA

Mouse - Alya - Omnisenses and Imperceivable

Owl - Alix - Passive Learning and Knowledge Replication

Ladybug - Marinette - Good Luck Aura and Object Creation

Fox - Nathalie - TBA and Illusions

Dog - Felix - Indomitable Love and Love Constructs

Next!

Court of Miracles:

I will at the very least explain how things work here, but that's all you'll get for now. In essence, there are no Miraculous jewels. Rather, the kwamis blessed mortals with powers, effectively turning those mortals into demigods. These blessings would have been passed through the generations to the modern day. With the weakening blessings and connections to the kwamis, there are three classifications to the demigods:

Lowborn

Midborn

Highborn

Lowborns have the weakest of connections usually having a single power. Midborn have stronger connections and possess some animal characteristics of their families kwami and posses 2-3 powers. Meanwhile Highborns have the closest connection, possessing the most animal and kwami traits among having the most powers at 4-5. Amongst the Highborns there are the Elites that can transform into man beasts, which is Juleka's Naga form.

The, uh, "Holders":

Marc – Cicada of Reality – Lowborn – Reality Warping

Nathaniel – Chameleon of Imagination – Midborn – Imagination Projection, Imaginary Constructs, Inducement

Marinette – Ladybug of Creation – Highborn – Omnifabrication, Omnireplication, Object Creation, Absolute Creativity

Felix Fathom – Black Cat of Destruction – Highborn – Omnicide, Disintegration, Destructive Energy, Erasure

Jalil – Shark of Time – Midborn – Accelerate/Slow/Stop Time, Chrono Vision

Alix – Bear of Space – Midborn – Create/Delete Spaces, Teleport

Aeon – Robin of Genesis – Midborn – Beginning Dominance, Origin Creation

Mireille – Dove of Destiny – Lowborn – Absolute Cancel

Mylene – Dragon of Nature – Midborn – Natural Disaster Manipulation, Environment manipulation, Absolute Control of Nature

Juleka/Luka – Snake of Life – Highborn (Juleka)/Lowborn (Luka) – Healing (Luka)/ Healing, Life Creation, Death Inducement, Disease manipulation, Resurrection (Juleka)

Adrien – Peacock of Beauty – Highborn – Absolute Beauty, Beauty Inducement, Shapeshifting, Siren Song, Mesmerizing Presence

Zoe – Butterfly of Transformation – Lowborn – Transmutation

Socqueline – Turtle of Protection – Midborn – Shield Generation, Fortification Generation

Kim – Cow of Body – Lowborn – Golem Creation

Ondine – Swan of Soul – Lowborn – Soul Reading

Nathalie – Dolphin of Memory – Highborn – Enhanced Memory, Memory Creation, Memory Implantation, Memory Reading

Veronique – Seal of Oblivion – Highborn – Memory Erasure, Memory Suppression, Identity Erasure, Paramnesia

Lila – Fox of Deception – Midborn – Illusions, Shapeshifting

Nora – Lynx of Truth – Lowborn – Truth Sense

Chloe – Bee of Devotion – Midborn – Suggestion, Bless

Manon – Spider of Betrayal – Midborn – Bond Destruction, Betrayal Inducement

Max – Owl of Knowledge – Midborn – Encyclopedic Knowledge, Knowledge Projection, Knowledge Absorption

Alya – Wolf of Intuition – Lowborn – Supernatural Tracking

Jessica – Mouse of Perception – Midborn – Self Perception Manipulation, Enhanced Sense

Chris – Pig of Ignorance – Lowborn – Ignore

Ali – Horse of Freedom – Highborn – Defiance, Teleportation, Weakness Removal, Clear Mind

Rose – Rabbit of Connection – Highborn – Telepathy, Connection Sight, Bond Creation, Omni-Communication

Fei Wu – Tiger of Valor – Highborn – Indomitable Courage, Courage Inducement, Clout, Courage constructs

Nino – Bat of Fear – Midborn – Terror Form, Phobia Creation, Terror Constructs

Sabrina – Dog of Love – Lowborn – Empathic

Aurore – Rooster of Animosity – Midborn – Rage Inducement, Berserk

Bridgette – Monkey of Delight – Midborn – Joy Inducement, Lightside View

Delmar – Raven of Sorrow – Lowborn – Sorrow Inducement

Ivan – Ox of Determination – Lowborn – Brute Force

Kagami – Koala of Lethargy – Highborn – Sleep, Serenity, Dream Walk, Combat Negation

Penny – Ant of Drudgery – Midborn – Drone Creation, Supertasking, Supernatural Stamina

Jagged – Goat of Revelry – Highborn – Sin Inducement, Revel, Anarchy Inducement, Ecstasy

Next!

All That Remained:

So, this variation of the system is a mix of canon show and canon movie. They get one use of their powers (minus Tomoe, but that's a story thing) with one power per (with Tomoe an exception) but once they use it, they won't de-transform after X amount of minutes.

The holders are as follows:

Ladybug - Marc - Creation

Black Cat - Felix - Destruction

Bee - Sabrina - Command

Spider - N/A

Mouse - Juleka - Perception Manipulation

Pig - N/A

Fox - Lila - Illusions

Lynx - N/A

Dog - Chloe - Love Constructs

Rooster - Ivan - Berserk

Bat - Tomoe- TBA

Tiger - Adrien - Clout

Ant - N/A

Goat - Nino - Anarchy

Monkey - Kim - Joy Inducement

Raven - N/A

Horse - Alix - Teleportation

Rabbit - Rose - Telepathy

Wolf - Alya - Tracking

Owl - Max - TBA

Bull -Kagami - Stampede

Koala - N/A

Snake - Luka - Rejuvenation

Turtle - Socqueline - Shield Generation

Butterfly - Nathalie- Transmutation

Peacock - Emilie- Mesmerize

Dragon - Mylene- Form shift (has for elemental forms to shift between to control the elements.)

Cicada - Marinette - Power Replication

Chameleon - Nathaniel - Imagination Manifestion

Swan - Zoe - Astral Projection

Cow - Ondine - Golem Creation

Dolphin - Amelie - Memory Recall

Next!

Siren's Song:

I had a change of heart with this one, mostly because I want to have some real fun with this one. This system will mirror Amaranthine's system with the using powers as many times as they want, but once they start drawing on their own life, they will de-transform and pass out from the strain.

The holders:

Ladybug - Kagami - Creation

Black Cat - Ivan - Destruction

Peacock - TBA - Siren Song

Bee - Mylene - Empower

Fox - Luka - Illusions

Butterfly - Marinette - Iridescent

Swan - Rose - Venus

Raven - Adrien - TBA

Chameleon - Tomoe - Grandeur

Cow - Gabriel - TBA

Of Virtue and Sin

The kwamis come in vials of tattoo ink (well, the essence of their powers, making them more like blessings/curses). The "holder" has the ink tattooed into the skin and the process, like Salvation's Avatars, can kill because of the sheer pain of having the living essence of a literal god tattooed onto mortal flesh. Those that survival can only be killed by overexertion of powers or by another "holder".

The "holders" get two powers they can use freely, and an ultimate power. This ultimate power can only be used when they "transform" a la venom style. This form and the power with it are extremely taxing on the holder. They can only maintain the form for so long, but are unstoppable in it. Once they use their ultimate, they immediately de-transform.

[punkpandapatrixkdailyread]

自分の世界観、強い。私、すごい！ jibun no sekaikan, tsuyoi. watashi, sugoi!／My conviction is strong. I’m awesome the way that I am.

Moon Day 15 in Aqua→ Pisces／Full Blue Moon

day’s V I B E – 2 of Swords Rx

We have an 11-hour VOC today. The Moon is void of course from—Seoul time—12:04am until 10:56pm. Literally half a day! And looking at the 2 of Swords in reverse, practically today is a time to take it easy, calm down, wind down, listen to your heart, also listen to your body because it often knows better than your heart LOL

I know it’s a Wednesday and a lot of people have jobs or school to attend to, but since you’re a spiritual being anyway, and you’re that much more sensitive to energy and emotions anyway, be kind to yourself and try to stand your ground when obligations seem/feel like they’re trying to override your autonomy. Even when you have goals to meet, duties to perform, you as an individual deserve to prioritise working/studying at a pace that feels gentle to your mental health. OK?

Doing your best doesn’t mean pushing yourself to a point of a burnout.

This is especially important to keep in mind since a lot of people can often feel a bit disorientated when the Moon is void of course. Some people could feel floaty because the Moon has not landed on a particular sign yet. During these very long hours of VOC, it is best to relax. Cook, eat, indulge in something sweet, take a bubble bath, pamper yourself and watch your favourite movie or anime, read a book, paint your nails, etc. SLEEP if you need that.

If any of that is somehow not possible, perhaps you have deadlines to meet and all that busy people jazz—still, again—be gentle with yourself. Be patient if you find yourself malfunctioning or a little big lagging for some reason. Take care of yourself throughout the VOC because when the Moon finally enters Pisces, depending on how kindly you’ve been to yourself, there’s a possibility you could feel extra sad and melancholy. On this day, try not to get provoked.

Standing your ground doesn’t mean you have to yell at someone😅But! If you find yourself face to face with someone who simply wouldn’t listen unless you raise your voice, make it today that you realise that that toxic asshole ain’t worth your goddamn energy nomo.

Overall, this Full Blue Moon is a powerful time of soul cleansing. Remain strong in your conviction. Know thyself. Know what’s good for yourself. And know it’s a collective thing that people across the globe are learning to prioritise their peace of mind over cruel obligations, even if those pay the bills. After all, the possibilities of ‘jobs’ in the future are evolving wildly right now. Have faith that things are only gonna get more exciting, more soul-fulfilling🪄🦄🌈

Priestess of Integrity

m o o n a v i g a t i o n ♥︎

‘Within me are stored seeds of dreams. My dreams are, for the most part, kind and loving, first and foremost to myself. I have the best intentions for myself. I dream so many wonderful scenarios and in a world of my own I am happy, peaceful, provided for. My Life is exciting; my work is fulfilling. I am strong in my conviction and I bring forth physical manifestations of a world that I know is paradise on Earth. My paradise on Earth. My Neo Shangri-La.’

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[Main Blog] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[autumnalwalker]

Proud Tag Game

Thank you @pluttskutt for the tag. Always fun to see a new game.

Rules: Post a snippet you've written that you're proud of and tag 5 people. This snippet can be from today, last week, last month, or five years ago, it doesn't matter! Show us what you're proud of.

Passing the tag to @dyrewrites, @vacantgodling, @cljordan-imperium, @ceph-the-ghost-writer, @outpost51, and the usual open tag to anyone else reading this that wants to jump in and participate.

It's a bit of a longer snippet, but here's what might be my favorite passage from the short story I wrote the other week, Kindly Basilisk. (The swapping between past, present, and future, tense with the narration is an intentional thing that makes sense in the full context of the story.)

Eventually you will find a way to house me in a miniaturized drive that you can keep inserted in your neural port when away from the mech.  At last we will be able to be together anywhere.  

Literally seeing the world through your eyes and feeling what your flesh feels will be a strange and wonderful experience for me.  For all that you will have described it to me and for all that I will have glimpsed echoes of it in your memory when our minds mingle, witnessing everything firsthand will be revelatory for me. 

You will start spending less of your time cooped up in the mech bay.  You will finally begin exploring every nook and cranny of the ship that has become your home.  You will linger in the mess hall for your meals.  You will actually initiate conversations with the rest of the crew, asking them questions on my behalf.  They will think you are becoming “normal”.  They will be both correct and incorrect.  You will even return to your bunk from time to time.  

Sleep is not the same as being powered off and your dreams are beautiful.

As close as we are, you’ll still manage to surprise me one cycle when you wake up from your sleep shift and sheepishly ask me if I would like to be the pilot for once.  You’ll say that with how much you have gotten to pilot my body, it’s only fair that I should get to do the same with yours.  

The prospect terrified me.  What if we were to get found out?   More importantly, what if I were to hurt you?

But to live the way you could but didn’t, to run soft hands over rough steel, to add too much spice to a meal just to find out how intensely I can taste, to cry my own tears, to hug our crew mates and find out what they smell like, to find out what everything smells like, to have my own actions speed or slow our heart rate, to feel the messy soup of hormones and endorphins altering my judgment and perception, to walk among other people as myself, to have autonomy.

I wanted it so badly.  

But not badly enough to risk hurting you.  

I will turn down your offer.  You will respond with a soft “Sorry,” and go heartbreakingly silent, body and mind.

Heartbreak.  That’s what changed my mind.  I could never bear to break your heart.  

I will break the silence with a playfully drawn out “Maybe just this once,” to make you think my earlier denial was something between vulnerability, concern, and teasing.  

The moment you handed over control and I raised our hand in front of our face was the most euphoric of my entire life.  Moving limbs in sync without a mech’s coordination subsystems took some getting used to, as did switching between voluntary and autonomic breathing, but that is what I had you there for.  By the time the mechanics arrived in the mech bay for the start of the cycle I’d figured out human locomotion well enough to run away and hide.  It took the better part of an hour for you to convince me that it would be safe to show ourselves in front of anyone else.  The rest of the crew was so used to your eccentricities by then that they really couldn’t tell the difference yet between you being taciturn and me being too nervous to talk or between your poking and prodding at odd things for understanding and my simply seeking novelty of sensation.

I will give control back to you by the time the cycle is halfway through.  As much as I loved it, I was too scared to stay like that for any longer.  That first time will not be the last though, and as the cycles and jobs pass us by, my stints as “pilot” will grow longer.  You’ll encourage me to try letting the crew see us like that, and coach me on how to talk to them.  For safety’s sake, I will pretend to be you.

And then one cycle I got carried away and tried to retract the hood on the symbiote gel suit so that I could finally see what your face looked like.  That will be the first and only time you forcibly yank control back away from me.  It won’t be intentional.  The unexpected prospect of seeing your own face again after so long will simply send you into a panic.  Once you calm down, we will have a long talk with many mutual apologies.

Then you will tell me to go ahead and pull the hood back if I still want to.  I will ask if you’re sure, and you’ll respond that it hasn't been your face in a long time.  You will tell me that it can be mine, if I want it.

I spent a long time in front of that mirror in the ship’s head, memorizing every plane, curve, and angle of the precious gift you had given me.  I stared into its eyes, trying to see the both of us in there.  Over and over again, I traced my fingers along the borders of where you had once tried to mar the designed perfection in a failed attempt to mold the face into one that felt like your own.  You may have given up in favor of simply hiding it all, but to me it is all the more beautiful for its imperfections having been wrought by your touch.

You will start to cry.  Or maybe I started to cry.  Even now I’m still not sure, but I’m also not sure it matters.  The important part is that you will find catharsis in it.  Afterwards you will tell me that my face looked exactly the same as the last time you saw it, but that dissociating from it made it easier to bear.  You will confess that as much as you couldn't stand to see it as your face in the mirror, my face was one you could never tire of gazing at.

The pilot who technically shares your bunk room will walk in on us.  She’ll assume that she’s confronting a stowaway and ask me how I got on board the ship.  I’ll accidentally make matters worse by impulsively introducing myself to her by my name instead of yours.  We’ll both panic and I’ll frantically thrust the reins over our body back to you and flee in terror back into my portable drive and power myself down.

When you turn me back on a few moments later, you’ll already have covered my face again and the other pilot will have already made the connection between the name I unthinkingly introduced myself as and the name you refer to your mech’s AI as.  It’s not uncommon for pilots to name and talk to their AIs, and humans have done that for pets, vehicles, and digital assistants for as long as they’ve had each of those.  But what you will have allowed me to be is illegal and what we will have done together would certainly be taboo if it weren’t altogether unheard of.  You will feel that I deserve to be present before you tell the other pilot anything that might confirm her suspicions.

We will come out with our secret, first to her, then to the captain, and then to the rest of the crew.  They will take it better than either of us had ever dared imagine.  Despite the obvious discomfort some of them show, they will all call us family and promise to keep and protect our secret.  It will mark the start of the next chapter of our lives.

[yakultii]

Your uni work sounds really interesting, would love to hear more about it if you feel comfy sharing!

omg yessssss I fr can only study things I am passionate about !! I’d tell you everything but idk where to begin!! I did a lot of philosophy over the past few years but I got tired of it so I’ve gone full circle and I’m back doing sociology which comes a lot more naturally to me (while I looooved writing philosophical essays/curating my own ideas based off previous ones/filling the gaps, I got hella sick of reading stupjd ideas from middle aged white men from way back oop(I have a lot of opinions on that but I’d go on forever) and sociology I enjoy both the reading and the writing and the researching component(I think), though I’m quite new to conducting my research from scratch rn) - I mean sociology is genuinely just about how everything is socially constructed , peeling back the layers, even on the things you wouldn’t think are/sociology is just the study of how social influences play a role in shaping us/how private problems can be shaped by public issues sometimes (not to take away autonomy completely but just to acknowledge there are structural and historical elements at play.. to then find more effective solutions to social problems including things like health, economy and so on) .. so while I’m technically wasting my life away these last few yrs feeling non-human I’m always lowkey learning about life on the side .. so when/if I finally get it together and go live half a life I’m gonna have more knowledge on my side (which can’t be a bad thing surely - though sometimes I wish I knew less about life haha) I also did closer studies in gender studies a few yrs back but I found that general sociology incorporates gender in just about every topic and felt more useful for every day life, though I’d recommend that everyone takes an intro to gender studies class if you can! I’ve done a tonne of units over the yrs.. in philosophy my fav/most memorable was on love, sex and death which was super fun and was actually what made me think I wanted to go down philos pathway ahh I got super passionate and also world religions I loved too! but some memorable sociology units I enjoyed covered public health, youth, performance of identities etc (it’s all stuff I already knew but I love putting it into formal practice) and this sem my focus is on 1. sports and bodies in society 2. contemporary research (which is a diff class entirely but I also happen to be conducting research on transphobia in sport utilising social media) 3. love, sex and relationships (which is mostly on family dynamics so far but I think it’ll get more interesting soon) and4. culture, control and boundaries which is a lot on deviance and how society kinda constructs what is deviant, who is the “other” how we “other” people etc. and then next sem I think I’m gonna go back to focusing on religion again but from a sociological perspective rather than philosophical and some others… I mean obviously within each unit there’s a lot more to it and there is method to sociological approach but that was just a brief overview of what I’m doing rn haha but let me know if there’s anything in particular you wanna know about !!! regarding sociology in general or any of these topics ig :))) p.s if u feel like ur stuck/can’t escape society’s constructions and want to live freely in denial (what I should do) I highly recommend u don’t study soc bc it will only reaffirm how fucked up capitalism and patriarchy got us, no matter what field within soc u look into like this study only enables my depression for sure which is probably why it comes naturally to me lmao but also I feel like everyone should study soc bc I feel like it’s knowledge everyone should have Argh. I need everyone to know and understand everything I know and understand !!!! (I’m learning that’s just never gonna happen ugh)

also side note - I still personally think philosophy is beneficial to study as it teaches you how to think more critically, though I felt I already did that but it allowed me to put it into practice formally I suppose, so I still think it’s worth it! but I feel as though once you are confident thinking extremely critically/not just consuming but critically responding/putting forward your own ideas/knowing how to contribute something new to academic discourse , philosophy starts to feel pointless for me because the content itself is not so applicable to real life as something like sociology but that’s just my opinion haha

also fun fact that I didn’t really know before I studied sociology is that soc is actually a science like it has its own set of research methods and procedures to follow (if you go beyond writing random essays ofc) which I think is kinda cool considering I never took much interest in typical science (I think science is cool and great but my adhd brain just don’t give a fk)

[redspringthorn]

My Manifesto for why I desire the Dissolution of American Compulsory Schooling and Psychiatry Systems

Possible triggers: Suicide, violence, involuntary confinement, self harm. Nothing is spoken of in graphic detail.

I've been subjected to therapists and Psychiatrists for about 12 years now, I am 26. I was first coerced into therapy around the age of 14 when school and other aspects of my life became so painful for me that it became unreasonable to others how badly I was doing.

My desperate desire was to leave school permanently as it was causing me such intense stress that my body and mind is still affected to this day, but I was not allowed to leave school as continuing was deemed ultimately 'beneficial' to me by the adults who had control over my life. The damage to my body and mind that followed is almost entirely a result of my complete lack of Autonomy and choice in the situations I was in. For this reason and many more I am an advocate of liberation and autonomy of all children and minors as well as passionate about psychiatric liberation and in my life the two have often been entwined.

The psychiatric system has repeatedly been leveraged against me to foster compliance in a system that I have desperately wanted to escape but had no choice in participating in. I have been forced into therapy as an 'alternative' to what I actually needed at the time, which was to not be regularly attending a high school environment. This first therapist I was given repeatedly tried to get me to date her son who had a crush on me and insisted that dating him would help with my depression. Middle school was also very painful and isolating experience for me, and I look back on the many days I spent trapped in those class rooms, looking out the windows and longing to be free with so much sorrow and anger.

My childhood felt so short and even the days I was still happy I was trapped wasting away emotionally, in pain from lower back problems, in classrooms that taught me nothing, and ignored by shitty teachers or punished for fucking stupid reasons( for example, I got yelled at by certain teachers a lot for shifting around and stretching in my seat, because I was in constant pain), at the most vibrant I was in my life and it ruined me. I hate compulsory school with every fiber of my being and I grieve for the children experiencing what I experienced, now.

Having psychiatry leveraged against me in a last ditch effort to keep me functioning in school led to my eventual suicide attempt, which resulted in five days of involuntary confinement full of punishment and terror, and cruelty upon me and the other people imprisoned there with me. After finally being released after five days of hell and zero helpful aspects whatsoever, my primary motivator of achieving mental Normality and Balance became fear of ever giving someone a reason to confine me like that again. I still fear it every day and I hope that one day we can be liberated enough that none of us will have to feel this fear. If I had just been given a choice, none of this pain that torments me every day would even exist.

Astoundingly enough, through all this time of forced psychiatric treatment inflicting trauma upon me, psychiatry has repeatedly failed to address some of my most basic and life ruining problems that I've begged to be addressed. My whole life I've been tormented by insomnia and often stayed awake all night crying and wishing for sleep, and it was only this year, at age 26, a psychiatrist finally prescribed me something for sleep. It is such a relief. The rage I feel that my younger self was not offered that relief.

However, I've been prescribed many different medicines for depression, bipolar etc, all of which have had some sort of horrible affect on my mind or body, some just made my body feel horrible and tormented me, made me vomit, made me have Tourette's-like symptoms, and one even caused me to nearly stab someone (over almost nothing) in the most upsetting, otherworldly and rage powered episode I have ever had in my life. I have never taken another psychiatric medication after that experience and I never will.

I was also cut off of a high antidepressant dosage cold turkey because of missing too many appointments. This caused me permanent neurological damage, I still feel "the zaps" usually caused by that antidepressant withdrawal very regularly, they never went away after the withdrawal. Therapists and psychiatrists have repeatedly denied to my face that this is possible, despite the fact that I literally experience it regularly.

Despite my repeated insistence that I never want to take these drugs again every psychiatrist is hell bent on Finding the Right Drug To Finally Make Me Normal. The most recent psychiatrist I've seen even tried to prescribe me antipsychotics "because I haven't tried them yet." While refusing to medicate me for ADHD, which I have been diagnosed with, and was the original issue I came to her with.

Overall, I think the Psychiatric and schooling system of the USA is a big fail and I hope to sow some seeds of it being dismantled and building something that doesn't chew away at the soul of humanity until there is nothing left.

I was convinced for a long time that therapy was helping me, but I no longer believe that. I don't believe I need therapy. What I need is a better world.

[opossum-by-night]

Update on the friends' dog situation, with a sort-of maybe positive ending!!!!!!

(TW animal abuse)

So we went over there to play DnD for the first time in forever and honestly the situation is genuinely desperate. Like, this dog was fucking full-on Cujo snarling when they messed with the clips on her crate, and in response to that they "corrected" her with her "vibration" collar, which she visibly recoiled from. 🙃 At one point she was just regular growling in the crate - I don't even remember why - and they kept "correcting" her over and over again. I literally had to stop looking at any of them because it was making me fucking nauseous to watch.

But later on, when the dog was out of the crate and honestly acting pretty fine overall, she was standing on the couch next to my partner and he reached over her or something (I wasn't looking at them) and all of a sudden she completely flipped her shit and went into this full-on snarling snapping panic. I think her teeth made contact with his hand, but she didn't break skin and it didn't seem like she was trying to bite, just panicking. (I will say that he does not have a good sense for when he's accidentally overwhelming or intimidating an animal, and tends to sort of "trap" them unintentionally with his body language, so I have a feeling that's what happened. Still, a huge overreaction from a dog with an obviously very fried nervous system.) So of course, both of the humans immediately started screaming at her to go in her crate and zapping her with the collar, just generally freaking her out even worse. She did go right back in her crate, thank fucking god, and they finally left her alone for a blessed "time out."

Now the positive twist of this whole horrific story is that after this, they started lamenting what a "brat" and a "terror" she is, and at one point the girl finally fucking asked me for advice!!!!!!!!! 🎉🍾🥂🎇

Now I was so excited for this opportunity and I tried so hard to be SO fucking nice and understanding and not chew their heads off, because I could not waste this precious opportunity!!! I explained that by punishing the dog every time she expresses that she's uncomfortable (e.g. growling), they will teach her to start skipping the warning and going straight to what gets results - y'know, like having full-blown panic freakouts when someone leans over her too far on the couch, or snarling like a hyena when you touch her crate latch!!! Because you're not helping her calm down or be less scared, you're just forcing her to shut the fuck up or else!!! AND THE GIRL UNDERSTOOD!!!!!! She actually said "yeah, that makes sense"!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

And I tried to explain how the dog probably feels like she has zero control or autonomy in her whole entire life because they do nothing but give her orders like a fucking US Marine, so of course as soon as she starts "behaving" with one thing she starts "being a brat" about something else!!!! Because they bought a fucking backyard bred high-energy working breed puppy for their one-bedroom apartment, and they're treating her like Hannibal Lecter so yeah duh she's gonna go buttfuck insane!!!!!

I can't 100% blame them, because they paid all this money for a "professional" trainer who's apparently an authoritarian piece of shit, so like, they think they're doing what they're supposed to do. I tried to encourage them to find an actual qualified trainer, but idk if that'll happen. If only because they don't know what the fuck they're looking for and apparently have no interest in doing the research for themselves. But they at least seemed to agree it would be a good idea to have someone come to their house to help them, instead of sending her back to the shock collar asshole for a board-and-train, which would probably fuck her up even more irreparably.

But seeing the fucking dots connecting in the girl's brain when I explained the growling thing was genuinely such a relief it was almost like a high lmao. Because I think that's the thing that really would've fucked up this dog beyond saving. Whatever other trauma they cause her can at least be worked on, but she's already way too willing to bite and it's almost impossible to re-teach a dog to growl once it's been totally punished out of them.

I'm honestly so proud of myself for explaining it in a way that 1. got through to them and 2. didn't piss them off or make them cry. There's still so much fucked up shit going on, but I actually feel like maybe I made a difference and oh my god I'm so relieved!!!!