#I completely forgot to actually...link it I apologize!!!

[birdricks]

the final phrase of my last sentence / hangs in the air, sounding stupider and stupider

[fake-bleach]

feels so right | dbf!joel miller x reader

summary: Your college boyfriend's a dick, and it doesn't help that he dragged you along with him to a bar just to treat you like shit. You plan on catching a ride home after an incident between you two, but turns out that your dad's best friend's there too, and he saw everything. He ends up offering you a ride instead, but there's no promises that you make it back home for the night.

word count: 9.9k (yeah i went overboard oops..)

warnings/disclaimers: (18+ only!) fem!afab!reader (no use of y/n), this might be the filthiest smut i've ever written, porn w/ plot, reader has a horrible/mean bf, prolly unrealistic car sex but idc, joel can carry reader, thigh riding, praise/degrading, kinda mean joel, oral (m receiving), deepthroating/facefucking, use of pet names (honey, sweetheart, baby, girl, etc), piv, unprotected rough sex, bit of a size kink, joel's hugeee, spanking, bit of choking, creampie/coming inside, literally all that good filthy shit lolll, lil cheesy ass ending

btw this can be for both game/hbo!joel cus i had them both in mind while writing <3

ao3 link | masterlist

Music fills your ears as you take a sip of your drink, sitting on an uncomfortable stool by the bar you were at.

Your boyfriend dragged you here with him, but not out of the kindness of his heart, no. You had made plans with him to spend some time together; to stay in and watch a movie, in hopes that it'd somehow heal your declining relationship, and he thankfully agreed.

That was weeks ago now, and here you were; stuck at a bar with the rest of his friends all because he forgot about his plans with you and insisted that he'd spend the night with the ones he sees more often than you.

It was either you or them, and in his eyes, it was always them.

"Fuck, babe! If you wanna be with me so fucking bad, just come with me— since you won't get off my fucking ass if you don't. Jesus Christ, I mean, you'd think I'd be able to spend one fucking night with my friends.. So fucking clingy."

His words rung in your ears as your eyes got lost in the remaining alcohol in the glass in your hand, slowly swirling it around with dread filling your face and entire being. You knew your boyfriend wasn't the best guy in the world, but you loved him at one point, and your heart clung onto the hope that he would start to actually love you back.

You should've known that your hopes would never be enough.

Snapping yourself out of it, you lift your head up to turn and look at him, his fourth glass of whiskey nearly empty, not giving a single fuck about you. No, his focus was always on his friends.. always on the shit that he prioritized over you.

You could only take so much.

Lifting yourself up from the stool, your feet reach the ground as you make your way over to him, tapping his shoulder to get his attention. Nothing. Again, you tap him even harder, and he finally notices you for the first time in the 30 minutes you've been there.

"What the fuck? What do you want now?" He asks you, scoffing as he whips his head to turn to you.

You gasp at him, mouth open as you stare at him in disbelief. "What the fuck do I want? I want you to fucking pay attention to me, you asshole! Have you even thought about me the entire time we've been here at all?!" You exclaim harshly, your heart racing as your anger rises.

He just shakes his head at you, the annoyance in his face incredibly evident as his friends laugh faintly at the scene in front of them. He doesn't even attempt to apologize to you, the tone in his voice cruel as he scolds you, "I never even fucking wanted you here in the first place, and you didn't get the damn hint. Not my fucking fault, babe."

He turns his body to look back at his friends, completely avoiding you and the situation, and clearly not giving a shit to fix it. Your anger gets the best of you, reaching for his shoulder to harshly pull it back so he could just look at you, but he grabs your wrist, squeezing it tightly as he drags your body to him.

Your face is just inches away from his now, gasps coming out of your mouth as his grip tightens. "Don't you ever fucking touch me like that again.. Get the fuck out of here, bitch." He berates you, his breath oozing of booze as he shoves your wrist to push you away from him.

Your eyes fill with tears as you back away from him, your hand reaching to your wrist to soothe it, rubbing it softly. You glance around the room, embarrassed at what had just occurred. Eyes from all around the bar are on the two of you now, but there's a pair that immediately catch your eye.

Joel.

Your dad's best friend, and the man who practically watched you grow up right in front of his eyes.

His gaze is hard on you, face filled with growing anger as he watches what your dickhead of a boyfriend just did to you. Your face grows cold as you stare at him, eyes flickering from his face to the floor as you grip your bag, not wanting to have him confront you. You were embarrassed enough.

You glance back at your boyfriend one last time, a slight frown fixed on your lips as you rush out the door, gasping for air while your teary eyes pace around your surroundings. Frantically pulling your phone out of your bag, you open the Uber app, wanting to get a ride home and out of here as soon as you could.

"Honey? You alright?"

Your body jumps slightly as you turn your head to stare at the source of the voice, eyes fixed to recognize Joel, his face filled with concern and his gaze now soft on you. You swallow as you breathe out, wiping the tears that were just about to fall from your eyes.

Gaining the courage to speak, you choke out faintly, not wanting to reveal your emotions to him. "J-Joel, I— Yeah, I'm okay.. it's okay. Sorry you had to see that, I.. didn't know you came here.."

You turn your head to stare back down at your phone, weak fingers trying their best to tap on the buttons to get you a driver here as soon as possible.

Joel's hand just reaches over the ones gripping onto your phone, slowly pushing them down and away from your focus to make you look up at him. His eyes are gentle and warm, boring into yours.

"Don't do that, sweetheart.. I've known y'long enough to know that it isn't," His soft words soothe you, looking down at your somber face, "C'mon.. Why don't y'let me take you home? Let's get you outta here.." He offers, moving his hand behind the small of your back to guide you wherever his truck was parked.

You sniffle and nod as you give into his generosity, knowing that you just wanted and needed to be cared for right now, whether or not it was just by Joel's benevolence.

His stare is fixed on you as the two of you make your way to his truck, feeling a sense of responsibility and urge to protect you. You were the loveliest girl he's ever known in his entire life, and it appalled him at how you could be with an asshole like that.

Walking up to the passenger side with you right behind him, he opens the door up for you, gesturing you to get in. "C'mon, honey.. There y'go.." He whispers out, gently shutting it behind you once you're securely inside.

Joel gets in the driver's seat now, putting his seatbelt on after you as he turns the engine on, putting the car in reverse to get out of there, knowing that you probably wanted to leave the area as fast as possible.

Silence fills the space between you as the only sound that can be heard are the tires on the road, making you gulp softly. You then glance at him, clearing your throat and licking your drying lips, "I.. I promise, he's not always like that, Joel.. He's a nice man.. I—"

Your voice fails you as you finish, the uncertainty in your tone not even convincing yourself. You're lying straight through your teeth, and Joel knows it too.

He lets out a heavy scoff, shaking his head as his eyes focus on the road in front of him. Glancing at you, he chuckles, "Right.. A 'nice man', huh?" He starts, making you turn away from him to look down at your lap, fidgeting with your fingers, "A 'nice man' wouldn't do that to you, honey.. Seems to me you've never felt how a real man should treat ya."

Your head turns to look at him quickly, scoffing back at him as you look at him, shocked. You don't even know why you're bothering to defend your shitty boyfriend, but for some reason, you wanted to prove to Joel that you were mature enough to make the right decisions.. to be with the right man.

"You don't even know him, Joel.. I.. I was being clingy, alright? He wanted to hang out with his friends instead of me tonight and I insisted I went too! You.. you'd act like that too if you were ever with me.." You tell him, your voice growing small towards the last part of your little speech, self-deprecation filling your mind along with your boyfriend's words.

It doesn't seem to make Joel any happier, making him suddenly pull over to the side of the road, putting the car in park. He huffs, removing his seatbelt as you follow his movements. Pausing to take a moment to try and compose himself, he finally looks at you, mouth open in disbelief. "You think I'd act like that if I were in his position? Think I'd fuckin' push you away like that? No, honey, god, no— you've got it all wrong."

You swallow as you stare at him, eyes confused and trying to understand what he was implying. He turns away from you for a moment, licking his lips as he breathes in sharply. "No fuckin' man right in the head would ever push you away like that, sweetheart.. No, he's a fuckin' boy who won't even cherish such a.. pretty girl like you."

Joel shakes his head, taking that pause between his words to look at you up and down, exhaling hard as he puts his fist to his face, his arm resting on the side of his window. He just stares back out through the windshield, your body stuck in place, breath hitching as you process it all.

"The hell would your dad think.. f'he ever saw that, huh? Boy's damn lucky I didn't do shit to him.. Lucky I didn't fuck m'up." He exclaims, scoffing softly as he looks at you for a moment.

Your chest rises as you breathe in softly, mind racing to figure out what to say. Your stomach is filled with faint butterflies from Joel's words, yet you knew that he'd never possibly think of you that way. He was just trying to comfort you.. right?

Your eyes are set on your lap, pausing before stuttering out, "Look, Joel.. I get it, you've known me my whole life, but I know what I'm doing. I'm not some dumb little girl anymore.." You finish, lifting your head to look at him, hoping that he'd finally believe you.

Joel's always treated you the same way he has when you were a kid, and it always frustrated the hell out of you. It's no doubt that Joel was an attractive man; you realized that when you were in high school, especially when your friends would come to your house to gawk at him at parties and family gatherings. You weren't blind, but you knew your attraction for him would get you nowhere.. not when he saw you the same way all these years.

At least, to you.

His head finally turns to you, eyes set on yours now, "You're a big girl now, huh.. s'that right? Y'gonna tell me that when you're with an asshole like that?" He chuckles out, cocking his head as he shakes it, "Thought you were better than that, baby.. That you'd actually give yourself to someone who deserves you.."

"Guess you're still that dumb little girl."

His words sting, making your eyes harden with your lips pressed tightly together. You scoff at him, tone harsh and direct, "The fuck do you want from me, Joel? What, y'want me to give myself to a real man like you?" spewing out the words without even giving it a second thought.

He immediately spits out what he's been thinking the entire time, nodding his head almost condescendingly as he inches his face closer to yours, "Yeah, that's what I fuckin' want. Maybe it'll knock some damn sense into that dumb head of yours, huh?”

You grit your teeth, heart thumping out of your chest as you rasp out, "You wouldn't even have the fucking guts, old man," but you knew damn well that you craved it. Craved him and the endless possibilities of what he could do to you. Breathing heavily, you can't deny the slick growing against your folds and through your panties.

Joel just grins at you, his gaze never leaving yours, "S'that right, honey? M' just some.. old man to you?" He snickers, his tongue poking out of his cheek for a moment, "Y'think I never noticed you all these years? Never heard you and your lil' friends talkin' about me?"

You gulp as your lick your drying lips, face softening while your heart races. Shaking your head to deny his accusations, your body freezes at the realization that he knows.

"Yeah.. you're not so slick, baby. Could see you watchin' me all these damn years.. Tellin' everyone how much you want me.. Y'can deny it all you want, sweetheart, but I see right through you. Right through this act."

He smirks as your eyes dart to the floor to avoid his stare, head tilting down as you fidget with your hands. Your body grows cold as you shake your head softly, denying the fact of the matter.

Joel's hand reaches up towards your face, his thumb and index finger lifting your head to look up at him, gripping onto your chin. "Ain't that right?" He chuckles out, making you turn your head to look away from him again nervously, but he doesn't let that slide.

He tuts his tongue, shaking his head as his grasp on your chin tightens just enough to have a firm grip on you, forcing you to look right at him. "No, no, don't do that, honey.. Look at me." He demands, your eyes finally staring into his own. You clear your throat, body shaking slightly as your adamant arousal for him increases.

You begin to stutter out, gulping, "J-Joel..", but he just cuts you off, implicit and direct with his intentions.

"Y’gonna let me fuck some sense into you, baby? That what you want? You’re about a second away from begging me for it, I fuckin’ see it. Can practically smell it off you, too." Joel spits out, his tone cocky and hitting directly to your core as he glances down at your thighs clenching together, “N’ look at you here..”

He chuckles out, removing his fingers from your chin to glide them down to your trembling thighs, his fingers almost pressing into the crevice that your thighs were pressed so tightly together to create. He wets his lips as his dark gaze glances back up to your face, whispering out desperately, "Tell me you want this, honey.. Tell me n' I'll make you forget all about your lil' boyfriend."

You breathe out through your mouth heavily, lips falling a bit open as your mind races. You've thought about this moment for so long now, and you could finally have it..

Fuck it.

Wetting your lips, you quickly put them on Joel's, desperation seething out of you as your eyes shut tightly. You moan into the kiss, Joel groaning into it too as he reaches his hands for your waist, gripping onto it tightly. He almost lifts you up, gesturing for you to get on top of his lap, needing to be close to you. You just follow his request, lifting yourself up from the passenger seat to fall into his lap and straddle his waist, immediately whimpering at the feeling of his bulging crotch pressing into your panties.

You had hoped that wearing a dress tonight would be a good choice, and you were right.

Breaking away from the kiss, the two of you gasp for air, breathing in heavily as you stare at Joel with delirious eyes, nearly high off the taste of him. He just smirks at you, reaching for your cheek to hold onto it, caressing it softly. "Bout' fuckin' time, baby.. Thought you'd never get the hint." He pants out, bringing your face close to press a dirty kiss on your lips, his tongue pushing against yours.

Your impatience gets the best of you, gripping his broad shoulders with your hands as you gain enough leverage to grind your core against his crotch, moaning loudly at the friction. You can already feel how huge he is, your cunt throbbing at the thought of it stretching you out.

His eager hands move down to grip your ass, moving you exactly how he wants, pressing you down onto him even harder. His lips break away from yours, groaning out, "Fuck, baby.. Fuckin' sexy, look at you.." He says, his gaze on your desperate face and glancing down at your hips and crotch grinding against him, "Shit.. That's it.. Pretty girl like you knows how to move."

You whimper at his words, growing wetter at the rough control he has on your body, and you love it. You can't help but let out little gasps, the desire you have for him increasing every time your bodies press together, making you crave his cock even more with each second that passes.

"F-Fuck.. need you, Joel, please.." You whine out, making his eyes flash up at yours as he chuckles, gripping onto your ass even tighter. He just shakes his head, saying, "No, baby.. Y'gonna take what you need from me right here. Wanna s'ya drench my thigh.."

"You do that f'me.. come all pretty & put on a lil' show for me? Maybe I'll give ya what y'want.." Joel mutters out to you, his lips just inches away from yours as he stares into your eyes, filled with lust and an intense ache for you. He wants to savor your body as long as he possibly can.

You nod your head quickly, biting your lower lip gently as you move your legs wrapped around him to sit in between one of his large thighs, moaning out once the rough fabric of his jeans hits your throbbing cunt.

You're soaked through your panties at this point, and you don't waste a second chasing your release. Your hips slowly start to move back and forth, grinding against his thigh as you whine. Licking your lips, you pant out, stuttering out his name repeatedly as your body does all the work for you. You're not even thinking at this point; your mind's completely gone blank and focused on one thing.

"That's it, honey.. Keep goin'.. Pretty lil' thing's so needy." Joel lets out, a low groan coming out as he watches your desperate face, staring right back at him with heavy eyes. It makes his cock grow even harder, knowing that he's finally got you like this.

His hands move to grip your hips, guiding them faster as they move to your ass, squeezing it harshly as a low chuckle escapes his throat. You gasp out at the touch, encouraging you to grind down on him even faster, stimulating your swollen clit as you cry out at the feeling.

Heat flows down to your cunt and lower stomach as your climax slowly begins to build up inside of you, and it's almost like Joel can feel it. Feeling how close you are, with your soaked pussy and slick drenching his jeans and thigh.

Just like he wanted.

One of his hands lifts up to smack your ass, an unrelenting force making you whine out at the sudden strike. It sends butterflies to your stomach and a sharp jolt to your core, forcing a moan out of you and a whine of his name on your tongue.

"Sorry, baby.. Y'got such a nice ass, been waitin' so long to do that.." Joel admits, letting out a faint laugh at your response to him. He cocks his head to the side and looks up at you, mouth slightly gaped open as his tongue plays with his cheek, "Ever knew how fuckin' hard you made me? Skimpin' around with your lil' dresses and shorts, passin' me like you knew what you were doin'. Y'never noticed how I'd.. turn my fuckin' head everytime you walked past me, baby.. Glancin' back at it so I could fuck my fist to the thought of you every night.."

"Fuck, fantasized about this fuckin' moment for so long now.."

Another blow of his large hand to your ass hits you unexpectedly, making you shake above him, your hips never slowing. You bite your lip as you look down at him, hands gripping his body to keep your strength. Butterflies fill your stomach as you hear his confession, making you groan.

Your breaths speed up as your climax increases, jaw falling open as you reply to him, "Did.. Did that on purpose, Joel.. Wanted you to look at me, to want me.. Didn't think it worked, fuck— touched myself all the time cus' of you.."

Your confession goes straight to Joel's cock, making him groan out at your dirty words, his fingers ingraining themselves into your ass as he moves your hips how he wants, wanting to push you to the edge already.

"Oh, it worked, honey.. Fuckin' gorgeous girl like you, what'd make y'think it didn't? I'd be a damn fool.." He grunts out, tone low right in your ear as you whimper, your clit growing incredibly sensitive as you grow even closer. "Y'gonna come for me, baby? Feel how fuckin' soaked you are f'me.. You're shaking.. Know y'can do it, come for me, sweet girl.. S'what you wanted this whole time, huh?" Joel encourages you, his hands moving from on top of your dress to underneath it, squeezing your bare ass with just your tiny panties barely covering yourself.

The direct contact of his rough hands on your flesh has you gasping out, the sudden coolness of your skin from his hot hands creating the perfect mix. You just nod your head eagerly as you stare into Joel's eyes, biting your bottom lip the more your aching cunt grinds on him. You stammer out, eyes hazy, "Mhm, f-fuck, Joel.. M'gonna come, p-please.."

Joel just smirks as he stares at your worn out face, nodding his head to encourage you. Sliding his hands down closer to your clothed pussy, his fingertips glide across your lips, your slick coating through your panties and onto his fingers. The feeling of it makes you hiss out as Joel whispers out to you, "Gonna give you what you need, baby.. C'mon now, let me see you.. Come for me now, be a good girl.."

Those words were the final push that you needed, making your cunt clench tightly around nothing, wishing that it was Joel's cock instead. You shut your eyes as you cry out, hands gripping onto Joel's body even tighter as he coos, whispering filthy, encouraging words into your ear while his hands help you chase your release. His hands on your ass begin to slow down, finally letting the weight of your hips rest on his thigh as your climax ends, the fast thumping in your chest slowing.

Breathing heavily, you let out small pants, chest rising up and down as you open your eyes to look at Joel. You give him a tired smile, giggling softly at the state you were in, and Joel grins back up at you, moving his hands up to hold onto your face. He presses a firm kiss on your lips, relishing the taste of you on his tongue. Breaking away from your lips, his thumbs caress your cheeks, looking into your eyes, "Did so good, honey.. Y'wanna return the favor? Prove to me that you deserve more?"

Your eyes widen at his words, nodding your head desperately as you lick your lips, hoping that he's implying what you thought he was. To be sure, you eagerly ask him, "O-Of course, Joel.. What d'you want me to do? Anything you want.."

Joel's lips curl up, grinning at the tone in your voice as he drags one of his hands down to yours to grab it. Guiding your hand, your palm reaches to his hard cock all pent up against his tight jeans, making you gasp out as a deep groan escapes his throat.

"Feel that, baby? Need your lips wrapped around me.. Y'gonna do that for me?" Joel mutters out to you, his gaze dark and set on you completely. Your breath hitches in your throat at his request, and the thought of the mere act makes your mouth water, making you nod your head quickly. "Yeah, fuck, I wanna do that for you.. Been wanting it for so long, Joel.." You admit to him, this time using your hand to squeeze his bulge, feeling how much he really needed you.

He lets out a faint moan, nodding his head back at you as he smirks at your hand squeezing him so good. He questions you, "Wanted what for so long, huh? Wanna hear it, honey."

Your cheeks grow flushed at his words, gulping slightly and hesitating to respond as you look away from him, which just makes him urge you on even more. "C'mon now, you already came all over my fuckin' thigh, I know y'not gettin' all shy on me now, sweetheart.." He teases you, chuckling as he presses his hand to your face, gently squeezing it, but you know his intentions are clear. He has so much power over you; more than you even thought.

His big hands grip onto your face, forcing you to turn to look at him. It's filthy, and you can't help but love it. He nods at you, a final push, and you finally stammer out at him, throat dry, "Wanted your.. cock, Joel.. W-Wanted to suck your cock for so long— fuck, please, Joel.."

He just lets out a faint laugh and nods his head, releasing your face from his hands and patting your cheek as if he was proud of you. "That's it, honey, wasn't so hard now, was it?" He teases you, licking his lips as his eyes flicker to your own, imagining them around him already. "Let's go to the back, baby.. S'gonna be more comfortable that way."

You nod at him as his strong hold is back on you, lifting your hips gently to guide you towards the back. Once the two of you are back there, Joel's legs are laid out on the entirety of the backseat, his back leaning against the door while you're set in between him; the perfect position and view for him to watch you put on a show.

Joel seems to be impatient waiting for you to make your move, as he cocks his head to the side and stares at you. He questions, "What y'waiting for, baby? You're a big girl, aren't you? Don't need me to tell you what to do now, do I?"

You lick your lips nervously as you stare at him, giving him a small, anxious smile. It's not because you've never sucked cock before, but this was Joel, and you wanted it to be good for him. More than you've ever been with anyone else before, and especially your 'boyfriend'.

"N-No, Joel, I got it.." You respond to him, leaning your body closer as your hands reach for the zipper of his jeans. Unbuttoning them, you pull them down a bit with the help of Joel's hips lifting, and your eyes immediately latch onto his huge cock, bulging against his boxers.

You sigh out as your hands glide from his large thighs to his underwear, reaching underneath the hem of the fabric to grasp onto his cock, pulling it out. The mere sight of it makes your jaw fall open slightly, gasping and mouth watering at how thick he was. Fuck, he's the biggest you've ever seen. It made you a bit nervous, but so fucking aroused, as you feel the slick growing between your folds because of it.

Your reaction makes Joel chuckle, leaning his head a bit forward to get a better look at the expression on your face. He lifts his hand to press his fingers against your cheek, holding onto your jaw and caressing your cheek with his thumb. It makes you look back up at him as he questions you, "Too big for you, honey? You ever even sucked cock before?"

You gulp as you purse your lips, nodding your head slightly, "I.. Yeah, I have, but fuck— never this big, Joel.." You respond to him truthfully, your stomach filling up with butterflies of a mixture of nerves and arousal.

He grins at you, laughing a bit cockily, "Don't worry, baby.. Gonna take me real good, right? Make me proud?" He challenges you, the fingers placed on your cheek now sliding down towards your lips, gently pressing the tips of them right at the entrance of your mouth. "Let's start off with these, huh? Wanna see if y'can take em' like you're gonna take me.."

You whimper at his words that hit you right to your core, making you clench around nothing. You couldn't wait for him to fuck you already. You just nod your head slowly, eyes never leaving his as you gently open your mouth for him. Joel takes this as an invitation to continue, slowly moving his index and middle fingers in your mouth.

"Suck on em', baby.. Lemme see what y'can do.." Joel tells you, his head lifting up a bit as his dark gaze looks down at your lips. You just obey him, closing your lips around his fat fingers as he inches them further and further in your mouth towards your throat. Your tongue falls flat underneath his fingers, sucking on them gently as you lift your hands to hold onto his wrist.

Joel starts to grin at you, humming out in satisfaction as he encourages you, "There we go, pretty fuckin' lips.. Show me how you'd suck my cock, c'mon now.."

You moan around his fingers, both of your hands gripping onto his wrist as you use it to pull them out of your mouth, guiding them back in deep as if they really were his cock. You shut your eyes at the feeling of it, reaching further down your throat as you moan again. The taste of him is intoxicating.

Your eyes open back up to stare at him intently, and Joel gives you a light smile, making you feel that sense of pride that you've always craved from him. "Good fuckin' girl.. Shit, lookin' so good like this, baby.." He mutters out lowly, a faint groan coming out.

Before you can continue, he pulls his fingers out of your mouth, immediately making you feel empty. You whine out softly at your disappointment which makes him chuckle, reassuring you, "C'mon, honey— Think y'ready now. Make it good for me, yeah?"

You nod eagerly, wanting nothing more than to please him as much as you could. You lean a bit back, giving yourself a bit more room to get in the right position as your hands reach for his cock again. Wrapping a hand around him, you notice that he isn't even fully hard yet, and he's already so fucking big. It doesn't ease your nerves in the slightest, but the ache you feel for him in your cunt distracts you from it completely.

Lowering your head and body, your lips inch closer and closer to the fat head of his cock while your hand slowly strokes him up and down, trying to get him fully hard for your mouth to take him. You look up at him as your lips wrap around the tip of it, sucking onto it gently as you feel him finally harden in your mouth.

Your tongue does its work, circling around him and licking the tip of it while you suck, your eyes never leaving his as his own flicker all over your face; your eyes, your lips. Joel lets out a low groan, reaching over to your head to hold onto it to have some leverage to encourage you.

You slowly lower your head now, taking his cock deeper into your mouth as you moan around it, sending vibrations through Joel's entire body as he hisses at the feeling. "Fuck, that's it.. Deeper, baby, lemme see how much y'can take.." Joel's words fill your ears as you continue, your mouth barely able to take him all the way to the base.

His cock hits the back of your throat, making you gag at the sudden intrusion. Your eyes water as you blink, still staring back up at him to see that reaction on his face. You notice how it twists in pleasure, his eyebrows furrowing for a moment, and you lift your head back up to gasp for air, immediately lowering your lips back onto him so you don't waste any second that passes.

The noises that Joel makes are filthy, filling your ears and making them burn as your mouth never falters, jaw stretched out as wide as possible for you to take all of him. Joel's grunts become louder, and you take that as sign that you're doing things right, which makes your body fill with pride.

Closing your eyes, you relish the feeling of his heavy cock on your tongue, the fat tip of it letting out small spurts of pre-cum down your throat. The taste of him only makes you push your head down even further, attempting to take him all the way to the base, but he hits the back of your throat, making you gag out at the unexpected impact.

Before you can lift your head up, Joel's grip on your head tightens as he holds you there, his throat letting out low pants as he stares right at your lips connecting to the base of his cock. Groaning out, he laughs faintly, saying, "Take it, honey, doin' so good for me, f-fuck.."

Barely processing it all, he uses his other hand to slap your face almost condescendingly, and it just makes you moan around him, your throat clenching and eyes opening up to look at him. You didn't even know you liked that, but Joel's power over you has you nearly seeing stars.

Joel lets out a chuckle, all mean and teasingly, "Fuck, yeah.. Dirty girl, you like that shit?" He asks you, and you moan around his cock again, nose breathing in heavily for air as your eyes droop down a bit, nearly high off the feeling of him using your throat. Laughing out, a smirk appears on his face as his hand's grip on you pulls you back up for a moment so you can breathe properly.

Without him even having to encourage you, your mouth is back on him once you catch your breath, desperate to please him and taste his cock again. It makes Joel grunt out, snickering out at you, "Fuck, you're worse than I thought, baby.. You act so innocent, but you're takin' cock like s'all you're meant for.."

You hum against him, eyes looking back up as you take him deeper with your tongue flattening underneath his shaft, and it drives Joel crazy. He just hisses out, hand on your head once again, "Shit.. I'm right, ain't I? Pretty throat’s been craving this, huh? Lil’ boyfriend couldn’t satisfy you.. Thas’ okay, m’ right here now, honey..”

His words send a throbbing pang to your cunt, growing wetter at the thought of him and knowing that he's satisfying your needs more than your boyfriend ever could. It makes you realize that Joel was right; that he was the real man that you needed.

Joel's hands start to guide your lips now, moving your head up and down on him as he watches his cock disappear back down your throat over and over again. Your jaw falls slack as you let him use you just how he wants, eyes watering with tears threatening to fall as his thick cock continues to stretch your lips and throat so good.

The look on your face is nearly pornographic, your lips shaped tightly right around the girth of his cock as if it was a hole meant for him to fuck. The sight of you makes Joel's cock twitch, moaning lowly as he pants out, “What would y’family think if they saw you like this, honey? Lookin’ like a fuckin’ whore with my cock down your throat, like the fuckin’ slut you are. That’s just what you are, right, baby? A lil’ whore for me, s’that it? Gonna let me keep you.. fuck you when I want? Know that’s what you want..”

You just nod your head eagerly at him, eyes rolling to the back of your head at the sound of his nasty words, and it feels so fucked up knowing that it's turning you on so much. You've always imagined what it'd be like for Joel to just use you how he wants, imagining how it'd be like, and now it's finally happening.

Joel chuckles out at your response to him, and he grunts out as his climax builds up, unexpectedly pulling your mouth off of him as you gasp out for air. Your face looks confused and disheveled, but Joel assures you, "Don't wanna come just yet, baby, we got time for that later. Wanna be in you now."

Before you can respond to him, Joel leans in towards you, his hands reaching out for your body to move you how he wants. Grasping onto your sides, he lifts you slightly to turn you around, moving you to get on your knees to crawl and face away from him. Your body just follows his hands until he has you where he wants, getting onto your hands and knees, bent over for him to stare out the window.

Your breathing grows heavier, gulping softly as you turn your head to look back at him. Joel doesn't waste a second to immediately cherish the view in front of him, his hands now roaming from your calves right up to your thighs, savoring your skin on his fingertips that are now inching towards your aching core.

Your dress is the perfect length for him to see you completely; not too long and not too short, but it's too much coverage for Joel's liking anyways.

His hands move up towards your ass, instinctively pushing the fabric covering you up and over, resting it on your lower back so his view is right of your clothed cunt. Your wet slick has seeped through the light fabric, making Joel chuckle out as he stares right at it. His eyes make you blush, a bit of embarrassment filling your cheeks evidently as you look away from him for a moment.

He just glances up at you and grins, shaking his head at your reaction, "No need to get shy, baby.. S'hot, y'know that? Knowin' this pretty pussy's all soaked for me? Shit.." Joel lets out, laughing faintly as his stare returns back to your cunt, hands sliding back down to your ass. His thumb runs across your folds pressed so tightly together by your thighs, making you gasp and shiver out at the touch.

He moves his other hand now, index and middle finger sliding just beneath the side of your panties to get a good grip of it, pulling it to the side so he can see your throbbing hole and wet folds. It's a dirty scene right in front of him, but it has his cock twitching at the sight.

"Fuck, look at that.. Need me that bad, baby?" Joel whispers out to you, his eyes flickering up to your desperate face and back down. His stare and words make you whine out, your hole clenching around nothing as you swallow.

You do need him that bad, and you were getting impatient.

The action makes Joel sigh out, his thumb now sliding against your bare cunt and through your lips, gathering up how wet you were. His thumb now finds your entrance, pressing in just the tip of it as his eyes move back up to your face, eager to see your reaction.

You just moan out and clench around it desperately, eyes shutting for a moment as your heart races. "Fuck, Joel, just fuck me already, p-please.. Need it so bad.." You beg him, biting your bottom lip harshly as your wide eyes stare into his own.

He just licks his lips as he hears you, considering it for a moment. "Y'think you can take me like this, honey? Don't need me to do anything else? Might hurt.." He asks you, his concerns still evident despite the position you two were in.

You just nod your head at him quickly, whining out softly, "Yeah, fuck, I can take it, please— just need you, Joel.." Your chest rises as you breathe in heavily, wanting him to fuck you already.

Joel smirks at your pleads, the desperation getting the best of you, and it makes his cock even harder. He just nods up at you and removes his thumb from your cunt, shifting his knees and hips closer to your ass as he grips his cock with his hand.

He glides the tip of it up and down your folds, gathering the slick as much as he could. Pressing it against your entrance, he looks up at your face, his other hand gripping onto your hip as he slowly eases it into you. The stretch of him makes you hiss out, shutting your eyes at the intrusion and how big he is.

You stammer out, "F-Fuck, Joel.." as you pant softly, taking in deep breaths to let your walls relax and adjust to him as much as you could. He just grips onto your hip even tighter, giving you a sense of guidance and reassurance.

Joel's heart races at the feeling of your walls clench around him, feeling how tight you are. Grunting out, he pushes himself even deeper inside of you, still taking his time, "Good girl, baby.. Doin' so good, y'feel so good, shit.." He gasps out, his eyes now fixed onto the sight of his cock entering your stretched out cunt.

"Tight fuckin' pussy.. Haven't had one like this in so long, fuck.."

Your breaths speed up with each inch that fills you up, the girth of him creating a stinging ache between your thighs that were nearly trembling. The grasp your walls has on his cock makes it almost harder for him to move further, so he pauses— taking a second for you to adjust.

"You okay, honey? Doin' so good for me, such a sweet girl.." He murmurs out to you, almost panting out as he hisses out. His hands gently caress your lower back and ass, reassuring you as he bends over a bit to press small kisses on your skin. It makes you shiver, nodding your head in response to him, "M' okay, Joel.. Feels so good, p-please move.."

His heavy eyes look back up at you, acknowledging your request and smiling softly. It sends butterflies through your stomach at the thought of him caring so much about you, making sure that you were comfortable and enjoying yourself just as much as he was.

He presses one last kiss to your lower back, pressing his hands on it as he lifts himself back up. Gripping onto your hips, he nods at you and finally pushes himself all the way inside of your throbbing cunt, his hips now flushed against your own. The sudden movement makes you gasp out, your hands holding your body up attempting to squeeze onto the fabric of the seat.

"J-Joel!" You moan his name, eyes closing harshly at the feeling of the fat tip of his cock pressing so deep inside of you, making your involuntary walls constrict around him. It creates a burn in your lower stomach, your body growing hot at the feeling. It makes Joel grunt out, his neck lifting up for a moment to take a breath as he looks back down at your hips connected to his, hands caressing your skin.

He rocks his hips against yours, moving just slightly to get some friction as he allows you to adjust, groaning, "That's it, there y'go.. Knew you could take it, baby, fuck— Feelin' so good wrapped around me, s'it what you wanted?" He asks you, eyes flickering up at your face. Biting your lip, you nod, stammering out, "Mmphf— Y-You're.. so deep, shit, feels so good.."

He chuckles out, stare fixed on your worn out face as he pulls his hips back a bit, taking his time to thrust back into you as deep as he could. He wanted to prove to himself that what you were saying was true.

"S'that right, sweetheart? So deep? Y'feel me right here?" He asks, moving one of his hands just beneath your body and sliding it to your lower stomach, pressing harshly against it. It makes you gasp, feeling the bulge of his cock imprinting itself. You whine, breathing out, "O-Oh, fuck, Joel.. Yeah, feel you right there.."

He just grins at your response, muttering out, "That's fuckin' right, honey.. n' I'm the only one who's ever been this deep, huh?" He urges you on, head leaning a bit closer to you as his hips press tightly against your pussy.

You cry out, shutting your eyes for a moment as you nod, unable to fully form a coherent sentence for him. He just tuts his tongue, head shaking disapprovingly as he pulls his hips back all of the way, not taking a second to wait to slam himself back into you.

It makes you grunt, eyes shooting open as his words fill your ears, the slight mean tone in his voice making your face burn, "Asked you a question, baby.. So you tell me, your lil' boyfriend ever fuck you this good, honey? Fill this pretty pussy this deep?"

Your mind grows hazy, cheeks flushed as you attempt to spit out what he wants to hear, "N-No, Joel.. I, I-"

"No? No? C'mon, haven't even really fucked you yet n' you're already actin' so dumb.. S'that it, cock just make you all stupid for me?"

Tears fill your eyes as his hips pull and push right back into you again, giving you another thrust of his thick cock as you sob out, "J-Joel, shit, no, it jus'.. feels too good, p-please.." You moan, feeling the tight grip his fingers have on your ass nearly imprinting themselves into your skin.

"C'mon now.. Louder, baby, lemme hear it.. Tell me, wanna hear it loud n' clear.. Answer my question.." He pushes you, tone growing louder and strict. His thrusts begin to create an increasing rhythm that makes your jaw drop open at the feeling, his cock stretching your tight walls out with each push of his hips.

"No, Joel! N-Never.. never fucked me this good, oh fuck, never.. this d-deep.. shit!" You blurt out, mind barely thinking as you spit the words out. Eyes rolling to the back of your head, your brain and body goes numb, shuttering at the feeling of his unrelenting movements as your head hangs low, staring at your hands gripping the seat.

Joel's grunts and moans surround you completely as your ears begin to ring, his faint laugh and sudden smack of his hand on your ass snapping you out of it at the sting, "That's right.. pretty girl knows her place, fuck," He rushes out, suddenly grasping onto your hair to pull your head back, making you cry out, "Knew you'd be so good for me, honey.. Actin' like a fuckin' slut, takin' my cock this good.."

You breath out heavily, panting out as he holds back your head by his rough grip on your hair, pulling you back a bit to turn your head to try and get a look at him. His words make your pussy clench around him even tighter, turned on at his degradation.

You hum softly, whining as you nod your head gently, tears filling your eyes and threatening to fall as his pace grows even faster, now slamming into your cunt over and over again. He chuckles and grins at the slight sight of your eyes filling up, making him pout condescendingly at you.

"What? M' I wrong, honey? Y'gonna tell me you haven't been practically begging me to fuck you all these years? To treat you like this; like the slut you are, huh?" He taunts you, pulling his cock out all the way to rest against your entrance, and slamming it back in as deep as he could, "Know it's all you've wanted.. all you've ever fantasized about.. Y'don't gotta do that anymore, baby.. cus' I'm right here. Gonna treat you like the fuckin' whore you are.. That's what you are to me.. My fuckin' slut."

A tear finally falls down your cheek, making your lungs fill with air as you pant, mouth falling open and cunt convulsing around him. The tip of his cock keeps hitting the deepest spot inside of you, nearly making you blank out as his words make your cheeks flush. "J-Joel, I—"

Before you can stammer anything else out, Joel's grip on your hair now pulls your body up completely, making your back hit his strong chest, despite it being covered by his tight shirt. Your breath hitches in your throat, barely able to think as his sudden hand lets go of your hair and wraps it around your neck, holding your body right against him.

Keeping you still with the control he has, you moan out and flutter your eyes shut, body shaking and tightening up at him choking you. The back of your head lays on his shoulder, resting it there as he leans in close to your ear, whispering out, "Gonna ruin you for everyone else, baby.. Every time anybody else fucks you, you're gonna think of me; me and my fuckin' cock making you fall apart.. Y'gonna come runnin' back to me.. every fuckin' time— M' gonna make sure of it."

Your eyes open hazily, widening at his words as the grip he has on your throat suddenly pushes you away, making your chest and upper body fall down against the seat, arms not even having any power to hold yourself up. His hands and fingertips sink back into your lower back, now pressing your stomach flush against the seat as it creates an angle that makes you feel him deeper than you've ever felt before.

You can barely process it now, your mouth spewing incoherent noises and words as he holds you down, practically using you just how he pleases. Your hips pushed against the seat are constantly being driven by his thrusts, your pubic bone and sensitive clit being stimulated with each shove.

It makes your eyes shut tightly, unable to control yourself as you pant and moan out for him repeatedly, your hands shaking as you can barely get yourself to hold onto something. His cock buries itself inside of your throbbing cunt over and over again, Joel laughing at the squelching noises that your pussy was letting out.

Before he can say anything, a ring fills his ears that suddenly grab his attention, making his head turn as his movements slow just enough to grasp your attention to make you turn your head and look at the source too.

Your phone, laying on the middle compartment right next to Joel; he reaches for it and sees who's calling, making him grin and chuckle out.

Your boyfriend.

"Well, would y'look at this, honey? Talkin' about runnin' back.." Joel mutters out, turning the phone towards your direction for you to see it too. It just makes your eyes widen, cunt clenching as Joel tests you, "Why don't we let em' hear what you're up to, baby? See how much he's missin' out, huh?"

You know it's so fucking wrong; yet, so fucking right.

Joel doesn't even wait for your response, and just licks his lips and presses answer, putting it on speaker as he lays the phone flat against your back, lifting one of his hands on your hips to smack your ass. The force creates a loud spank, filling the phone's speakers as Joel's hips begin to move at a faster pace again.

It makes you mewl out, tears falling down your face again as your hands try to grip on the seat you were laying on. His grunts are loud and lewd, the snap of his hips smacking against your ass and thighs as he makes you take his cock repeatedly, "There y'go, just like that.." He mumbles out.

Your boyfriend's voice fills your ears now, confusion and the evident drunken tone making you roll your eyes, "The fuck? What was that, baby?"

Before you can even respond, Joel cuts you off, doing the job right for you.

"Y'don't gotta worry about her anymore.. M' takin' real good care of her now.. Ain't that right, baby?" Joel groans out, smacking your ass again as he leans in closer towards your back, nearly laying his chest against you. You just whine out in response, nodding your head quickly as Joel urges you further, tutting his tongue, "No, no, lemme hear it, honey.. Why don't y'tell him yourself? Let him know how good you're takin' my cock.."

Your body and face grows hot, licking your dry lips as you stutter, "F-Feels so g-good, Joel.. You're takin' such good care of me now, I—"

"What the fuck, babe? No, no, this can't be fucking happening."

Joel laughs loudly at your boyfriend's words, leaning his head closer to speak right into your phone, "Oh, but it is, boy. Not m'fault you couldn't fuck your girl this good. But, wait.. she isn't 'your girl' anymore now, is she?" He asks him, the arrogant tone spewing out as his voice lowers.

He reaches his hand over to your neck again, wrapping it around and squeezing it tightly as he ruts himself in you fast and hard, the pace and the hold of his fingers making you scream out his name.

"You fucking asshole, I'll fucking—"

Joel just cuts him off, sighing out annoyingly as he shakes his head, "Shut the fuck up. Don't you fuckin' call her again, much less lay a hand on her. You do that n' I find out?— I will find you. N' I'll make sure to break every bone in your fuckin' body, boy."

As your boyfriend gasps at his words, he begins to stutter some pathetic shit that Joel doesn't wanna bother hearing anymore; so he ends the call, tossing your phone to the side to focus back on you completely.

Shutting his eyes, Joel sighs out as he presses firm, yet gentle kisses to your back, his hips now going a bit slower, but deliberately harder so you can feel every inch of him, cherishing your tight cunt with each second that passes.

"There we go, honey.. Took care of that for you, y'don't gotta worry about him now, fuck— M' gonna make you feel so good.. y'won't need anyone else.." Joel whispers in your ear, laying his chest and body completely over your back as his entire being consumes you, his cock filling you to the brim with each push and pull.

His chin rests just below your shoulder now, grunting into your ear as he mutters filthy words into it, "That right, baby? M' I the only one you need? Gonna let me be the only one who can fuck this pretty little pussy? F-Fuck, please.. lemme hear it, shit— need to hear you say it.."

The pace of his movements start to speed up again as you stammer out, "Y-Yeah, Joel, you're the only one I need, fuck!" his cock twitching at your confession as you continue, "Only need you, only want your cock in me, please— need you to fill me up, make me yours, Joel.."

He moans at your words, panting out as he feels himself growing closer at your pleads, and you're right with him too. His cock hits that spot in your core over and over again, making you wail and sob out at the feeling of your stomach tightening and coiling, biting your lower lip harder to try and stop you from blabbering out.

"Don't do that, baby, no, wanna hear you— please, make those pretty lil' noises for me, honey, y'sound so pretty like this," Joel blurts out, unable to even think as he slams his hips against your ass, creating a sting that makes you lightheaded with your climax growing furiously, "Gonna make me come so deep inside you, baby, jus' like you want.."

His words hit something inside you, making you suddenly see stars as your pussy convulses around his cock, clenching and grasping onto him tightly as you come, your slick coating your thighs and his cock completely. Your body shakes and trembles as he fucks you through it, laughing faintly at your sudden orgasm. "Oh, fuck— there y'go baby, pretty fuckin' girl, take it.." Joel moans out, panting even louder and faster as he chases his own release.

You cry out, your cunt being overstimulated by his unrelenting thrusts as he buries himself even harder and deeper into you, making you spew out, "Shit, Joel! C-Come inside me, fill me up, please, please, need it so—"

Joel's loud grunts cut you off, feeling the sudden warmth of his come spill inside of you completely as he slams his cock in as deep as he can, making sure you feel every inch of him and his come. His hips rock into you, grinding his pelvis harshly to try and get even a fraction of him deeper inside of you. It makes you wince out, your sore cunt oversensitive at the feeling.

His body completely gives out on top of yours, his breaths filling your ears as you both take each other in, falling from your highs and trying your best to relax. You laugh softly as you process everything that's just happened, and Joel does the same, pressing small kisses to the back of your neck as his hand lets it go.

"Shit, honey— so fuckin' good.. You alright?" He mutters out, chuckling as you turn your head slightly to look at him, taking in your worn and fucked out face. You just nod your head at him, feeling a bit hazy as you smile, laughing out, "Yeah.. Never better."

Joel's eyes glimmer as he swallows, pushing aside the hair that was covering your face as he admires you, grinning softly at you, "Should've done this years ago.. Y'been holdin' back on me, baby." He murmurs out, his smile widening.

You press a small kiss to his lips, licking your own as you correct him, "Been trying to get you to for years, Joel.. not my fault it took this long." He just shakes his head amusingly, pursing his lips.

"Well.. Y'wanna stay with me for the night? Maybe I can teach y'another lesson on how a.. 'real man' should treat ya?" He proposes to you, laughing at his reference of what he said to you earlier and what started this in the first place.

You just smile at him and nod your head eagerly:

"Wouldn't want anything more."

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a/n: kinda wanted to make joel threaten/hit reader's bf, but i figured joel's idea of revenge was so much sweeter <3

this is by far my fav fic i've written out of my 1st three, so i’d love some feedback from you all! ♥️

wanna be on a taglist? fill out the google form in my pinned post!

-

reblogs are appreciated!

send me requests & i might write it for you! :)

[etfrin]

god okayokay

reader is dewey and gale's daughter and apart of the "core 5" (reader, mindy, chad, tara and sam) and dated amber freeman in the past. though has severe ptsd from what had happened a year ago (and the fact that reader saw her dad die and almost died with him, if it wasnt for the fact that they managed to stable her) and reader killed amber to avenge her father thinking by killing amber brutally would make up for dewey. thought if she hunted down her father's killer, she'd feel better.

present time, she's living with chad and ethan in their dorm. her and ethan are in a relatively healthy relationship, but she never opened up about amber or what exactly happened back in woodsboro because she wasnt ready. in fact, he never even seen her without a shirt on (because of the scars from amber and richie), but once he walked in at the wrong time while she was changing in complete accident (since they share a room) and he apologizes PROFUSELY but he cant help but stare. hes not even disgusted hes just kind of mesmerized by her. she gets insecure abt them and he lays her down and asks her abt them, how she got them. some scars were actually from stupid little things like slipping on a skateboard while carrying around a knife in a sheath that wasnt secured all the way so reader started carrying around switchblades after that (which she used to kill amber.) but he cant help but kiss them and tell her abt how beautiful she looks with them. so im just saying switch virgin! ethan and switch experienced reader (lost her v card to quinn first staying there but its a brief thing and isnt mentioned after that) just really soft sex between the two, ethan being a caring bf and after, realizes hes fucked up because hes genuinely fallen heads over heels for the girl he should hate. he knows he cant kill her, so now he doesnt know whats more important; avenging richie or being with the one he loves. choosing between his family, or choosing a life he wouldn't have with anyone else with someone that he loves more than life itself.

may had of gone overboard but im in love w this whole idea

↳❝Scars | Ethan Landry❞ˎˊ-

Warning - NSFW | p in v sex, fingering (f. receiving), creampie, unprotected sex (wrap it dumbfucks), loss of virginity (Ethan), mentions of murder, scars and Ghostfaces. | lmk if I forgot anything!

| masterlist | bc: @cafekitsune

A/N: okay so this was supposed to be a drabble then it was suddenly 1.6k words (don't ask me what happened), I hope whichever one of you requested this likes it, I TRIED I PROMISE and here's the link to request!

virgin! Ethan Landry x female! Reader

Ethan didn't ask about the scars for a week.

He didn't act any different despite seeing the ugly healed-up wounds all over your skin. Despite some of them being from playing around, most were from your fight with the Ghostfaces.

You thought he would be disgusted when he first saw them, the one second before he had closed his eyes, but there was no visible disgust on his face. Only concern.

And he had apologized so much that you practically pitied him.

Even now that you were on his lap, your lips tangled with his in a heated kiss. His hand on your nape, another hand on your hip. He hadn't ventured far yet, being as respectful as he could be.

All the while you felt yourself getting needy for his touch. After another heated kiss, you pulled back, a string of saliva connecting your lips. Ethan's face was flushed with a crimson red, breathless from the kiss.

The hand on your hip went near the hem of your shirt and you felt yourself tense. "Can I?" He asked softly. You give him a nod, anticipating this time, he would feel disgusted. That he would leave you heartbroken.

He took off the shirt, his breath caught in his chest as your scars came into view.

The gashes were all over your skin. White healed tissue tinged with pink. "How?" He lets out a choked whisper. "Would you mind telling me how?" He said, again, his eyes looking into your so tenderly with no hint of disdain.

Taking in a deep breath, you nod and begin to tell your story, everything from your father dying and you killing Amber to get revenge, for the wounds you got from the fight. Everything.

"I know they aren't the prettiest to look at," you whispered, "I know I understand if you don't want to stay with m-" "Don't even finish that sentence," Ethan interrupted.

"Don't," he said in a firm tone, making you look up at him. His eyes were filled with tears even if they didn't fall, he pulled you in for a hug. "You went through so much," he whispered, his voice filled with emotions, filled with care and love.

"Let me take care of you, they're not pretty but they're a part of you and I love these scars just as much as I love you." He said you felt yourself nearly getting to tears as well from his words but held yourself back.

"Okay," you whispered, "Take care of me."

And that's how you end up under him, bare for his lips to kiss all over your scarred skin. You let out encouraging purrs as his kisses travel down from your neck to your collarbone. A small cut was there due to negligence while handling knives. He licked the edges of the scar. You sighed as he continued to worship your body.

He finally reached your torso, and a huge gash was there. He had stopped kissing your skin now, staring at the pinkish tissue that was a huge contrast against your skin.

'Now,' you thought to yourself, 'He's gonna realize that you're just not worth it, not with all the baggage and the scars on your skin that come with it.'

"I wish I could kill them," he whispered, his lips brushing against the scar. His words made you melt because it was tinged with truth. There was no doubt in his mind that he would kill them if he had the chance.

He pressed wet kisses onto the scar, making you let out a small sigh. He then crawled on top of you again. His voice was filled with nerves as he whispered, "I have never done this before."

You cup his face with both of your hands and pressed a small kiss on his forehead. "I have," you whispered, you had lost your virginity to Quinn so you were at least aware of what you liked or not.

"I could teach you," you offered, "Figure out what we like or not together." His doe eyes fill with relief and he gives you a smile as an affirmation.

"I would love that," he said, leaning down for another kiss as his hand traveled down to your soaked panties. He lets out a gasp into your mouth as he feels the material cling to your fold.

He panted, "Oh- you're so wet. Is that all for me, darling?" The way he asked made your cunt clench, so breathless and in wonder. "Yeah, E," you whine as his fingers glide on your clothed pussy, the slight friction making you gush out more juices.

"Can I take it off?" he asked, and you nod. He slides down the panties, and throws them on the floor, making a mental note to take it for himself later.

He pressed his fingers to your folds, sliding them across your cunt until the tip of his finger finds your entrance. You let out a small gasp, feeling yourself clench. "Can I?' He whispered, and again you nod. "Go ahead, E," you whispered.

The first digit enters, making him whimper about how tight you are, and how warm your insides feel. Your inner walls pulsate around the single digit.

He pumps the digit in and out before his index finger also joins. A whimper escapes your lips as your pussy stretches to accommodate his digits. "Is it good?" He asked, the nervousness mixed with heat in his tone.

"Perfect," you assure him, "Just crook your fingers a bit and you'll find a spot, focus on that for me, E." He eagerly does what you asked, his fingers finding your G-spot and pressing into it every time he thrusts his digits inside.

You moan, your hips bucking into his touch. Getting a bit more confidence from your pleasurable sounds, Ethan goes even faster. Your walls begin to pulse with the familiar need to snap the tension that was building but you didn't wanna cum so soon.

"Stop," you whispered and Ethan pulled back immediately with a questioning gaze. "Did I do something wrong?" He asked, concerned, "Did I hurt you? I am sorry."

You chuckled, "Nothing like that, my love. I was close…" You bite your lip, hesitating about saying the words that you knew would sound crude, "Wanna cum on your cock for the first time."

His eyes widened at your request. He nods obediently, pulling off his shirt with one hand and taking off his belt so he can slip out from the rest of his clothes.

His cock looked painfully hard with his cockslit leaking pre-cum all over his length. He stroked his cock to elevate some of his own needs.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," he whispered, as he slotted his girth near your entrance. His cockhead getting coated into your slick. You shake your head, "I want it, Ethan. So much."

He gives you a nod. He buries his face into the crook of your neck as he slowly slides into your warmth. Inch by inch, his cock stretches out your pussy, your inner walls molding into the shape of his length. He lets out whines as his veins sizzle with pleasure.

You felt his dick pulse and twitch as he whined, "Gonna cum. Gonna cum. Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Your hand goes to his hair to harshly tug at the brown curls. Effectively distracting him from the overwhelming pleasure. "Sushh, baby," you whispered, "It's okay. It's okay." He groans, "Babe…" You hum in reassurance. You make your pussy clench around his dick. Your walls squeezing his cock so suddenly makes his hips jerk into you, his cockhead grazing your g-spot.

You moan near his ear. "Like that," you whispered, "Take care of me."

It took him a few more moments to get used to the vice grip on his cock, the wetness, and the warmth before he began shallowly thrust into you.

He pressed kisses all over your neck, your throat, your breasts. Marking the places near your scars so you can remember this night. Both of you let out noises of pleasure.

He begins to thrust deeper than before as your nails dig into his back and he gets faster as well. Humping into you now, his mind getting lost in the sensation of your velvet heat.

"Am I doing all right?" He whines as his hips keep meeting yours. "Perfect," you moan in reply. His hips begin to snap faster, his thrusts deeper than before, filling you up. You moan louder as you keep getting filled with his cock. Your pussy begins to spasm around his length as the heat fills your tummy.

You were getting close with each snap of his hips. "You getting close, baby?" He moans, his lips now brushing against yours. "Cum on my dick, please, babe!" He begs, as he gets more desperate, his thrusts getting sloppy and losing their consistent pace.

Your free hand goes down to your folds to find your clit. Your thumb rubs fast circles onto the bud. You felt the telltale signs of your climax. Your stomach is coiling, just waiting to explode.

"Please, cum on my cock," Ethan whines again, his lips crashing with yours in a filthy open-mouth kiss. That snapped the tension your body was holding, you moaned into his mouth as your pussy began to squeeze his cock repeatedly. Your cunt milking his cock for all its worth. As soon as he feels your inner walls spasm and contract with a shallow thrust, he begins to cum.

He pants as his cum leaks out, too fucked out to pull out. You were both tired. Both emotionally and physically drained, it doesn't take long for you to sleep.

Ethan lays awake though, feeling the heat of your body beside him. Hearing you breath. He closed his eyes, and an image was in front. In which you're dead and cold.

He couldn't have that. He can't kill you anymore. Not after this. Not after promising forever with you, not after marking you and kissing your every scar.

He would have to choose in the future and he would choose you.

[diggitydoggo]

Beta Daisy and Dandy

I've actually been drawing Daisy for a while so I thought that I should at least dump all the old art somewhere. Time for a trip down memory lane!

First ever drawing

Ah yes. When I promised myself not to make anymore OCs cause I already had a whole bunch of fnaf ones. So much for that.

Her colors used to be a lot less saturated which in my opinion didn't fit in with such a colorful cast. There are some parts of her outfit I kept like the overalls and her shirt. I just changed the sleeves so it actually looks like she's wearing gloves like I intended. Her attitude is pretty much the same.

Doodles!

Fun Fact: Her Halloween costume is just her dad's old clothes.

He was also supposed to be dead.

Still gay as fuck

Next are drawings I made for old tiktoks of Daisy!

(If you wanna find them then my tiktok is linked in my bio)

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking."

Second time ever drawing Julie! This is when I started to lean into my more cartoony style for Daisy. She still never trusted Wally.

"You're not my friend!"

Finally leaned away from so much orange. I really liked playing around with Julie's design since she gives off Mable (Gravity Falls) vibes when it comes to fashion. Always wanting to change it up.

"Don't start picking fights with my costumers!"

First time ever drawing Howdy! Really wanted to emphasize how tiny she is compared to him.

"Have you been there the whole time!?"

First Wally drawing! Sneaky little guy. Definitely wanted him to look more off-putting in this one. And new Julie outfit! This one was a little Minnie Mouse inspired getup. I also like the idea of Julie's hair always being really big.

"I know saying someone looks gay is 'wrong' BUT LOOK AT HIM!"

First ever Dandy doodle! This was after I made his beta design and wanted to tease him a little since beforehand I never actually mentioned Daisy even had a brother. Speaking of which.

Dandy!

He used to actually be more two-faced and mean. Heck he wasn't even supposed to be living in the neighborhood originally. His appearance would've been exactly like those episodes in kids shows where a new "perfect" character is introduced but is mean behind closed doors to a certain character and the one character that doesn't like them gets brushed off as "jealous" but then it gets revealed they were bad the whole time to the others, then cue the group hug apology. Basically he would've been a meaner and more manipulative version of Daisy. Someone that really brought out her insecurities. Someone that loved being the "Better Daisy" Which is ironic considering he got replaced with a better version of him. As for his appearance I was trying to go for a more city-like look in contrast to Daisy's rough and tumble country vibe. But after a while to me it didn't feel "kid's show" enough.

Pets

I completely forgot about this drawing so I'm adding it a whole two days later. But yeah they canonically have pets. Daisy has a flytrap she named Gertrude and Dandy has his pet mouse Mortimer.

Last drawings of Beta Daisy

Some things really never change.

Well that's all of my old drawings of these goobers (Yes I only made three drawings of the old Dandy) It was nice looking back on some old memories. It's been a fun eight months having these two idiots live in my head.

[trillscienceofficer]

I saw you said in the tags that you don't agree with Seven being about 13 etc, and I could not agree more because it irks me so much when people say how Seven was mentally 6 when they freed her from the Borg, or something to that effect. She was abused by the Borg to the point of not having her own thoughts but she still aged. Maybe she struggled socially after she was freed from that but it didn't take away the years she spent in the collective. It's basically infantilizing and paired with Seven being perceived as autistic by some, or just the fact that she went though the trauma of being Borg, is ableism to me. End of rant.

I apologize for not replying sooner to this ask but I wanted to grab a couple of links before replying because yes, I think you're totally right that saying anything to that effect (that Seven is actually a child, or that 'she doesn't actually know what's best for her') is infantilization of a character who is canonically a physically disabled adult, as well as having a very strong subtext for neurodivergence, and that it plays into ableist stereotypes that contribute to making the lives of real disabled people tangibly worse.

First, I want to make clear that no matter how muddled the metaphors get when it comes to Seven (and oh boy do they, between the cyborg technobabble and the completely absurd way Seven was "dressed" and made up on Voyager, talking about her is always a struggle), she is disabled. She makes use of many prosthetics and she has to regenerate (ie she has to make use of an external device) regularly or there are unpredictable consequences to her health. I realize this is maybe not super clear from the text, which sometimes conveniently forgets about Seven's limitations re: regeneration (see this post) and turns her prosthetics into a sort of superpower; I'm not saying it's an accurate depiction of disability by any means, but it's not something that can be completely ignored when discussing Seven either. In all honesty I've downplayed this aspect of Seven's character in the past and I really regret it because after it was pointed out to me, it's indeed pretty obvious. The trauma of Borg assimilation was disabling, and it's embodied in Seven even more than it is in other xBs, since it happened to her so young. She can never 'get rid' of it and she doesn't exactly want to, either*, even with all her very understandable ambivalence about it ("I am human, but I am also Borg").

(*I think Picard S2 makes this argument more complicated but recent live-action shows have been truly fucking awful at dealing with disability and metaphors thereof so I won't try to make sense of it. What matters is that Seven ultimately couldn't be 'magically cured' there either.)

ETA: I forgot to add, Seven is absolutely an adult. To me there's no question about it; she's played by an adult and none of her storylines, none of her struggles about figuring out how to be an individual in a group, about how to live with the terrible guilt and responsibility about her actions as Borg drone make sense if she isn't an adult. The whole character of Seven of Nine falls apart if she isn't an adult who is struggling with the terrible consequences of trauma.

Second, infantilization is a very real manifestation of ableism. This article defines infantilization as "a nondisabled person having more power than a disabled person and using that power against them to invalidate their thoughts, opinions or experiences. This can show up in numerous ways, such as indirectly speaking to a disabled person or assuming that the individual can't advocate or speak for themselves." In short, treating a disabled person like a child who needs to be directed at all times and who is assumed to not fully understand the ramifications of any independent decisions. It's not a matter of just language, either: the same article points out that 1.3 million disabled adults in the US were under conservatorship in 2018, and that forced sterilization of disabled adults is still legal in at least 31 US states plus Washington D.C. So let me make this super clear: disabled adults having their autonomy revoked, especially their bodily autonomy, is absolutely an issue in our current world. And it all stems from this ableist conceptualization of disabled adults as being like children, incapable of making the right decisions by themselves and for themselves, especially about their own bodies.

Now it's maybe clearer how this relates to Seven's whole deal, both in the show and in fandom. On the show, so many things about her prosthetics and about her looks were decided by the Doctor without consulting her at all, and how ironic it is that the one taking the decisions is a hologram coded with the biases of so many medical professionals, and it's one of those cases when no one, no one challenges the EMH! Sure, the Doctor pretty much saved her by making the reclamation process very smooth, but of course the idea that he can 'shape her' and ultimately 'cure her' of her disabilities (subtextual neurodivergence included) keeps popping up in the show pretty frequently, and she almost never gets a word in edgewise. Seven and the Doctor end up striking up a friendship, and things get a little less eyebrow-raising, but still it's pretty horrifying how the sexism of the production translates into ableism diegetically, though to be fair to Voyager it's definitely not the only Trek show where this happens. It's just that being about Seven, it's a very sustained theme on Voyager, and one I really wish wasn't there.

Off the show, in fandom, I think it would behoove us to at least try to do better than Voyager. Ultimately Seven of Nine is a fictional character that has no real feelings to hurt etc, but again what message does it send to real people when (part of) the fandom insists that Seven is 'mentally a child' or 'doesn't know what's best for her' and can't take her own decisions about her own future, even her own name? Again I'm not saying this to be a scold, and I can recognize that I haven't always been fair in my approach of Seven's disability. There's a lot of work I still need to do, and language is just a very tiny start. But it is a start nonetheless; I'd like it if people could see it as well.

[mysticsparklewings]

Karla Choupette, but make her Winx!

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It’s been so long since I posted art, I kinda forgot how to caption it 😅

So I’ll stick with facts: Exactly 1 year ago today, I brought home my very first Rainbow High doll, Karla Choupette. Shortly after, I wanted to draw her, and since I was on a roll with Winx-Club-Style art at the time, this is the result! 🤍

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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This won't be much of surprise to Sparklers that read my most recent Museletter, but to those that didn't: Hi! Longtime no art; How've you been? 👋 😅 If you're curious about how & where I've been, I'm going to direct you to that Museletter for the full details.

Also as you'll see in the Museletter, I had actually started on and mostly finished this piece right before my accidental half-year hiatus actually began (in December). There are many reasons (discussed at length in the Museletter) as to why I've held onto this piece for so long, but chief among them are 1. A lack of motivation to type this description and 2. Even months later, I was still not 100% sure about the background I originally picked out.

We'll talk more about the background in a bit. Firstly, especially for those that didn't read the Museletter, I should probably tell you who/what exactly this is and why you're staring at it. 😆

This lady, dear Sparklers, is one Karla Choupette of Shadow High, which is a...sub-line? I guess is the best way to put it? of the Rainbow High doll line. Except, per my usual art shenanigans, she's been drawn in the Winx Club art style. 😅

Karla is also known as: The Doll that Broke My (also unintentional) 5-6 year Doll Buying Hiatus. And in fact, that was the final key to me dusting off my typing fingers to finally bring this art to you Sparklers today.

I'll try and keep this story brief, but...Well, loyal Sparklers know how me and "brief" usually go, so I'll just apologize in advance for how very not-brief this actually will be...

In a way, this story starts in 2016 with the second generation of Monster High.

The first generation of Monster High was, pretty indisputably, my "true doll love" even though until it's beginning in 2010 I'd been raised on mostly Barbie and some Bratz. But the second generation was almost completely canned by the fan base, including me.

By 2018, most Monster High merchandise had disappeared from stores entirely. It all happened so fast for a franchise that had been such a lightning-in-a-bottle success before; It was depressing. (It's still depressing, to be completely honest, even with G3 now alive and well.)

And after that, for years the was really nothing for me in the doll space. With Monster High and Ever After High gone, Barbie's quality having taken a nosedive, Bratz's presence be wildly inconsistent...Whatever options were left either didn't appeal to me personally or didn't stick around long enough for that to matter.

So for the next few years, my attention in the toy aisle was pretty squarely on Shopkins, Num Noms, and the occassional other surprise toys that tempted me enough to try at least once. 🤷‍♀️

In 2020 (so I've been told by the internet—I couldn't have remembered the date if my life depended on it because that's how little attention I was paying to them at the time), Rainbow High dolls started appearing in store. And I do believe I remember seeing them in-store, possibly even an enclosed display. And I remember really not liking them at the time!

And I didn't like what I saw of Rainbow High for a considerably amount of time after that. But somehow, someway, I did very slowly start to come around to them. I think the biggest factor was when I started to understand that despite what sounded like a cutesy name to me, Rainbow High was not effectively a line of CareBears dressed as teenage girls.

Though, at this stage, when I say "come around to," I really mean I stopped viewing the line with active disdain. It would take a while longer of random images popping up on my Instagram and Pinterest feeds (mostly Instagram) before I started to think, "Oh well maybe I'd buy one if xyz..."

But I don't think it was too much longer after the "if xyz" phase that I was browsing around on Pinterest

And there, that was the moment—*Gasp*, Who is she? She looks like Ivy if Ivy were pink! She's so pretty!!

Karla Choupette had appeared.

And for the record, yes—I did and still do think Karla looks a lot like what I envision for my Winx OC Ivy aside from the pink coloring. So if in the future you see me draw Ivy and her outfit looks suspiciously familiar, now you'll know why!

But, to be fair, that's not the only thing about Karla's design that appeals to me. The stark contrast of colors is one for sure, as well as the slight contrast of the punk-ish boots with the more formal/business-like dress/top situation. And after I did (spoiler alert) bring Karla home, I realized she bears some resemblance to one of my favorite Monster High dolls of all-time, Zomby Gaga, so there was almost definitely some subconscious influence coming from that.

Anyway. It was a little bit of a slow burn, but eventually the desire to actually get a Karla doll was rattling around in my head so loudly it was was very nearly literally keeping me up at night.

I completely lucked out in the timeline that Karla had already been out for a while at that point and last year's Amazon Prime Day wasn't too far around the corner. Sure, I could have just bought her at any time, but considering I'd been out of the doll-buying game a while and my "first doll back" was going to be one completely unlike the rest of my collection [..and I use that term kind of loosely here], so I didn't want to put too much money on the line when it was fully possible I'd get her home and unboxed and decide I didn't actually like her all that much.

The funny thing is, the story could've even there. Or at least taken a significant detour. Because, sure enough, Amazon did mark Karla down for Prime Day at the time, but before I could go through with the purchase, she sold out. 🙃

On a whim though, I decided to check Walmart a little later in the day, and lo and behold—Apparently they really wanted to compete with Amazon for sales that week, so they'd dropped their price on Karla to match and actually still had her in stock!

I ordered her for local pickup to avoiding paying for shipping, and the next day—Exactly one year ago today!—Karla came home with me. [And you can see a picture of my exact Karla in that Museletter I mentioned before, for those curious!]

It would be another couple of days before I actually opened her; Both in the store when we picked her up and while I was opening her, I was honestly a little scared that physically being able to hold her would somehow break whatever magic hold this doll had had over me up until either point.

But as you can probably guess by the way I'm telling this story and the fact that this art exists—Nope! And even a year and 20 (...soon to be 21...) more Rainbow/Shadow High dolls later, Karla is still my favorite. She is, in fact, the only one I currently have 2 of, as I found an incomplete-but-in-great-shape Karla for cheap on eBay about a month later.

To be fair, I should back up a bit and clarify: If you're familiar with the doll space, you may be wondering why/how Karla was the buying-hiatus-breaker for me even though Monster High G3 started releasing new dolls in 2022.

Technically I suppose she wasn't because I did get some of the MH G3 dolls and Howliday Draculaura for Christmas 2022, but for space/storage related reasons, it would be much longer before I actually opened any of my new MH dolls, and there were various aspects that made G3 still feel kind of rocky and uncertain at the time.

Karla was the one that really sparked my excitement for dolls in general again, though the excitement manifested as a rolling snowball instead of a roaring fire—I started out, as many doll fans across all brands have, insisting Karla would be the "only" Rainbow High doll I wanted/needed.

And if you'll remember I quoted a collection of 20 Rainbow High dolls a few paragraphs ago, then you'll already know exactly how that well-intended insistence turned out. 😆 [And this isn't even touching on the fact that, as also mentioned in the Museletter, that Karla and the Rainbow High girls also ignited a "make things for the dolls from scratch" spark in me that I have felt in...Mm, probably not since the earliest days of Monster High, sometime before 2013.]

Some of you are also now probably doing the math on how we arrived at the concept for this artwork—This is very much not the first (or even second or third) time that I've used the Winx Club art style as a vessel to express my love for some other thing.

It's been a while since the idea began by now, but I remember I had inklings of wanting to draw Karla for a while—I think in particular I wanted to play with Karla's white eyelashes in illustrated form since it's both something I've never seen on a doll before and also white eyelashes in general are just a unique and interesting concept to me—And since I was sorta on a roll with the Winx Club stuff/style, it wasn't too long or too far of a leap in logic to decide this is the way it would be done.

Likewise, if you've seen any of my most-recent Winx art, you'll already be fairly familiar with my process for how the art comes together in the most literal senses. So because of that and because it has been long enough that I don't remember finer details like areas that were particularly tricky so well, I'm going to skip over a lot of that here.

However, I do remember and can tell you a few things that make Karla here a little different from some of those other attempts of mine, so I will now start rambling about that in whatever order things come to mind.

Firstly and possibly the most obvious, Karla you could say Karla's wasn't "Winx-fied" as intensely as Helena or The Nanny, which was a very purposeful choice. I love Karla's original design so much that I really didn't want to touch it too much, and so while a fairy form like those other two artworks can often be more fun, I opted to keep Karla "casual."

To that end, I followed what patterns and "rules" I've observed for the Winx's Season 2-3 "casual outfits" as best I could without making any serious alterations. [The linked screenshot isn't the best example of said patterns/rules—You kinda have to take in multiple screenshots to get the best feel for that—but it's a decent enough point of reference for which outfits I'm talking about.]

So the main thing you'll notice are the things I took away or simplified because I think thy pushed Winx Club's style "limits" a bit too far—Karla has her fan but it's missing the word "Shadow" across the front, the zippers on her shoes aren't well-defined, the charm/pin from her tie is missing, you can't see the pinstripes on her dress (though if this were meant to be the Seasons 2-3 promo art style and not true-to-show style, I would've left those in)...things like that.

I did make small exceptions for things I felt would take away too much if I left them out like the details on her belt, the buckles on her boots, giving her eyeshadow, etc. But I tried to balance it all out. The belt is probably still pushing it, but I genuinely wasn't sure how else to handle it and I think everything else worked out well enough.

Now, I did make the decision to approach the line work more so how Season 4 would do it—There are more colored lines here than is really typical for Season 3, especially when you count Karla's hair. This was mostly done to try and preserve some of Karla's own "feel" when you look at her, but also a little for contrast of the different elements/textures at play. [For example, I thought lining her hair in black would look too harsh.]

...I should also probably mention that while I still stand by Karla looking a lot like what I want for Ivy, I really was focused on trying to capture Karla as herself here—I can't say Ivy never entered my mind during the drawing process because that's kind of impossible given that she lives and dies entirely in my imagination, but I did not consciously at any point use Ivy as reason or justification for any changes made to Karla's design.

Oh, and if this pose feels a little familiar, much like with Fran, I opted to re-use a pose I'd already been working with around the time I started this project. It's hard to tell from my sketches in the linked image, but in this case I did decide to re-draw the arms to nearly the opposite position because it made figuring out what to do with her fan so much easier.

Ironically, this pose is not at all the best way to get a good look at her white eyelashes, but I worked with what I had to make something nice without it taking 2-3 (or more) times as long, so I'm not actually too upset about that.

You could say that's sorta what happened with the background—I can't say this is my most favorite background I've ever put together, but I really did not have any better ideas, so...🤷‍♀️

Maybe it's obvious, maybe it's not, but I decided to try combining a design formula that's been used in a lot of the Rainbow High boxes as a background (and sometimes in other promotional material) with some general ideas from promotional images/profiles you may have seen of the Winx before.

So if you thought you were seeing Alfea castle edited into a rainbow gradient back there, you would be absolutely right. 😉

This is also why Karla's name is just kinda randomly hanging out over there on a "true to show style"—It's a little more consistent with the Winx profiles/images and added a little extra something I felt was missing from the full package.

And while not my primary motivation, I did kind of like the idea that with a background situation like this, if I decide I ever want to draw more Winxify-ed Rainbow High girls, I can re-use it and have them all a little more visually united as a series.

I have no current plans to do that, but I like being able to leave the door open for it, y'know?

...I think those are all the main things I wanted to mention. This is the real trouble with not writing these descriptions as soon as I'm able—I forget too much! But there's not much to be done about it now, so oh well I guess.

In such case, the important thing really is that I'm still happy with how the art turned out. Or at least Karla and some of the other details. Even at this very moment I still have my quibbles and doubts with the image of Alfea hanging out back there, but at this point I really don't want to put off uploading this any longer solely because of that, of all things.

Since I did find it in me to scramble what was left of this description together though, coupled with things I mentioned in that last Museletter, I really hope this means I've finally turned some kind of internal corner and and that it won't be another block of months before you Sparklers see more art from me.

At the very least, I can now say I've tried this new submission portal from dA and...It's not my beloved Sta.sh, but...eh, it's okay I guess. I still miss my editing/formatting tools being more available like in a proper text editor, but in some ways I do think I like this better than the previous submission portal, if I'm going to be forced to type out my descriptions in here from now on.

I think at least knowing that—that I'm marginally more familiar with this new portal now—will be a step in the right direction.

One last thing before I leave you Sparklers for today—I plan to give this description a once-over before I submit, but I've written most of it late at night after a busy shopping day and may or may not have caught myself almost dozing off a couple of times, so on top of my faulty memory, if you notice any exceptionally weird mistakes, that's probably where those came from and I missed them on my second read-through. 😅

In any case, Sparklers, I thank you for still being here and being patient with me—Like I said before, I sincerely hope this is just the beginning of me finally being "back," at least for a while, but ultimately only time will tell if it is or not.

But if it is, then I expect to see you all again much sooner rather than later...😉

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Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings

Karla Choupette/Rainbow High © MgA Entertainment

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[faithintheunknownsblog]

A/N: this isn’t linked to any specific fic, also it’s kinda sloppily written sorry

Part Two Here

A Few Things Alucard Loves About You

This one is when you’re a human and you know he’s a vampire:

- When you eat with him, he loves how you’ll sit at the table and eat a normal human meal while he’s sipping on blood bag(s)

You can be a human or vampire for these next ones:

- Asking him for help when you’re bleeding

So one time when you had cut your hand you went to your loving boyfriend Alucard for help getting patched up.

In the moment it happened you somehow completely forgot that he was a vampire, because all you thought was “I need his help.”

It wasn’t until you asked for his help that you remembered and felt terribly inconsiderate for asking him.

You apologized and tried to leave but Alucard stopped you because internally was so overjoyed that the first person you thought of going to for help was him. He told you it was alright.

You asked him if he was sure he’s sure and he told you he was, so you trusted him.

Alucard didn’t show any signs of how he was fighting all his urges to have a small taste. It wasn’t because he was worried you’d get scared, it was because he knew that you would feel bad for asking for his help if you saw his struggle.

And he won this fight, so now you almost always go to him when you need help to take care of an actively bleeding wound.

- Alucard might scowl but when you take his hat off his head or steal his glasses off of his face and wear them jokingly

- He also loves it when in the bedroom you wear his shirts to sleep in, it reminds him how small you are compared to him

- When he’s wearing his gloves, you’ll trace the symbol on them or just kiss it

- He loves it when you playfight with him, you trust him not to get aggressive

- When you trust him to kiss your neck- sometimes you will make the joke “no biting” and he finds it funny (but you only make it on good days)

Not only can Alucard take Baskerville’s form and have the Hellhound be a shadowy figure connected to Alucard’s body, but Baskerville can have its own physical form completely separate from Alucard. I’m making it this way because I can, since it’s not confirmed if Baskerville is a familiar or actually one of Alucard’s forms. But anyway:

Alucard loves how YOU ACT LIKE BASKERVILLE IS A PUPPY

You play fetch with what you hope isn’t human bones and scratch behind his ears asking “awe who is my good boy? You are! You are!”

You will even fall asleep cuddling the surprisingly fluffy demon dog, and Baskerville just lets it happen

- Alucard has been through a lot, so man just needs a good cry every now and then, y’know? Sometimes he’ll want to talk about it, and he loves how you’ll listen without judgment…. but him opening up is a rarity. So when you just let him sob into your chest without pushing him to tell you what’s the matter means the world to him

- He feels bad about it… But he also loves how you could be sleeping like a log because you’re exhausted from a long day/night’s of work, and somehow you’re up right away when he wakes up from a bad dream.

Sometimes you’ll be able to feel it, like something changes in the atmosphere and it wakes you up. Sometimes he’ll start shifting around and it wakes you up.

You both prefer it when you wake up before him because you’ll wake him up, pulling him out from the dream before he falls too deep into it. But sometimes you’ll wake up at the same time he does.

To him it doesn’t really matter though. In either situation you are up for him so he doesn’t have to deal with it on his own. You stay up for however long you need to in order to comfort him. You’ll hold him close, reminding him that it was only a dream and he's in your arms.

There are so many more things, but these are just a few

[plumoh]

a prayer and a coin; chapter 6

Natsume Yuujinchou & Noragami crossover fic.

Rating: G Wordcount: 3220 Characters in this chapter: Natsume & Sensei & Yato Summary: Takashi, despite Sensei's clear mistrust, calls the phone number. AO3 link

So lost in his own thoughts and distracted by Nyanko-sensei’s hasty retreat, Takashi completely forgot about the kappa who witnessed the entire meeting without saying a word.

When he goes back to the river on his way to school, the kappa jumps out of the water and looks so dejected that Takashi feels his guilt increase tenfold.

“Natsume, were the boy and the man from yesterday dangerous?” the kappa asks with wide eyes.

“No, I don’t think they are,” Takashi replies instantly, refusing to let Sensei’s suspicions pollute the kappa’s mind. “Rest assured, Sensei and I are going to make sure that nothing happens to you or other youkai in the area.”

“I swam back home once you left, so I don’t know what they did. This morning when I came here nothing looked different.”

So nothing has been destroyed, at least, which is good to know. If a god truly got upset because of an abrupt and rude departure, then Takashi is certain the country wouldn’t be standing anymore. Bad luck or not, gods are supposed to care for the land they walk on, right?

Takashi makes the kappa promise him to seek him out if he encounters any anomalies before heading to class. Sensei said he’d be on the lookout, in case Yatogami comes back for whatever business he has in the area—it should reassure Takashi, but instead it makes him worry that things will get messy should Sensei and Yatogami meet again. He can only hope that the day will be normal for everyone involved.

He doesn’t recount the encounter to Tanuma or Taki. There is no need for them to imagine the worst when nothing happened truly; on top of that, he doesn’t want them to fret over the existence of real gods, and the knowledge that their prayers might be actually heard. It’s already disturbing enough that Takashi himself has apparently met a god in the past and forgot him… The Dew God’s story remains fresh in his memory and he can’t let it repeat for anyone else.

-----

As soon as the bell rings, Takashi rushes out of the classroom while apologizing to Nishimura for leaving early. Sensei is already waiting for him, sitting at the top of the gate’s wall, like a polite pet waiting for his master to return. The other students love watching him, but as soon as they try to pet him, he hisses at them (“he’s not a real cat, after all”). Sensei jumps down, glancing back at Takashi to make sure he’s following, and together they head near the forest.

There is a payphone next to the bus stop. Somewhere isolated, away from prying eyes, and within easy reach of youkai friends. Takashi thinks the precautions unnecessary, but they are more for Sensei’s peace of mind than for his own. Sensei worries too much, sometimes, when Takashi least expects it.

“If the god doesn’t answer your call, we’re going home,” Sensei says in a tone that doesn’t leave room for negotiation.

Takashi fishes a few coins from his pocket, inserts them into the payphone, and dials the number written on his note. It hits him, then, that the motions of going through all these steps are comforting; there is giddiness and anticipation in equals measures, like this is the first time he calls this number. It brings back the memory of seeing the phone number tagged on walls and billboards, thinking that calling it was a last resort. He’s thrown back to his childhood and he thinks that maybe, this is a bad idea.

What if he’s repeating a past mistake and only setting himself up for disappointment…?

Takashi can hear his heart hammering against his ribcage all the way into his skull. When the phone keeps ringing and ringing, he thinks he might throw up.

And then, a click.

“Hi, thank you for calling! Fast, cheap and reliable, delivery god Yato at your service!”

It sounds surreal. At that moment, Takashi blanks—how do you greet someone you don’t really know anymore?

“Hello? Is anyone here?”

Something bumps into his leg; Takashi looks down to see Sensei narrow his eyes, impatiently waving a paw. Like he’s telling him that this was Takashi’s idea, and that he should take care of the situation alone.

Takashi swallows. His heart has never beat so fast, and so loudly.

“Y-Yes, sorry… I actually don’t know how I should put this…”

This conversation feels like déjà-vu. Takashi isn’t one to talk on the phone.

“Um… Do you remember the beast youkai you met yesterday…?”

Takashi hears Sensei groan and he feels himself getting flustered while his palms are starting to get clammy. What an embarrassing sight he must display.

“…What beast youkai?” Yatogami asks, confused, but still willing to continue this call.

“A wolf-like beast. White and big.”

“Oh! Yeah, of course I remember that one. Who’s asking?”

This is it. This is the moment where Takashi has to reveal himself. The ringing in his ears is killing him.

“I don’t know if you noticed yesterday but I… was with the beast youkai… My name is Natsume Takashi. We met a long time ago.”

A long time ago for Takashi, in any case. He most likely wouldn’t have remembered they ever met, had Yatogami not shown up. How many people and youkai did Takashi see when he was younger, and completely forgot as he grew older?

For an agonizing moment, only silence greets him. Sensei is sitting very still at his feet, ears clearly on alert even if he can’t hear much from his position.

“Were you a kid who asked me to kill an ayakashi that was bothering your family?”

Takashi wants to cry.

“I was!” his voice nearly cracks. “I mean, I think I did ask something like that? It’s been years so I don’t really remember but I know that you’ve helped me in the past.”

Takashi doesn’t even need to glance down to know that Sensei is sighing heavily, like he can’t believe that Takashi is still spouting this nonsense when he clearly warned him against gods of calamity. Yatogami’s voice is quiet and pensive, so unlike what Takashi is used to; is it a bad sign?

“Hey, you mind if I teleport to your location?” Yatogami asks.

Takashi blinks. He doesn’t object to it, of course, but… Oh well. Sensei will get over it soon enough.

“I don’t see why not.”

The words barely left his mouth that suddenly a silhouette appears next to him in a flurry of light and flicker, startling both him and Sensei. Yatogami still has his phone stuck to his ear while he stares first at Sensei, assessing and prudent—Sensei returns the distrustful gaze, going as far as taking a step forward to place himself closer to Takashi. Then Yatogami shifts his attention to Takashi, and the storm in his eyes immediately clears.

“The little Takashi, of course!” Yatogami exclaims, all smiles. “Wow, you weren’t joking when you said it’s been years, you’re not a kid anymore!”

Yatogami snaps his phone shut and approaches Takashi, ignoring the way Sensei seems to puff up and ready to pounce. He claps Takashi’s shoulders with both hands eagerly and keeps them there, in a gesture reminiscent of a family member seeing a young cousin or nephew and showing approval. Takashi, confused, feels a bit out of his element.

“How many years has it been? Do you know?” Yatogami continues on a joyful tone. “Must have been something like five years.”

“Six years, actually,” Takashi replies absentmindedly. “I’m going to turn sixteen this year.”

“Huh. You look way too well-behaved to still be a teenager. But I’m not surprised, you were a polite child.”

That might be the first time someone ever said that about him to his face and meant it. The glint in Yatogami's eyes shines with so much cheer that Takashi is starting to think his entire reaction might be forced. He dismisses the thought as soon as it comes because he is absolutely not going to be influenced by Sensei’s doubts.

“I didn't think you would remember me,” Takashi says softly. “I'm sorry I forgot about you.”

Yatogami snorts in an undignified way and withdraws his hands to stuff them in the pockets of his jersey, absolutely unconcerned by the remark. He’s exuding that carefree attitude that Takashi remembers most about him; it might be a façade to better lower people’s guard, in the scenario Takashi thinks like Sensei does.

Yatogami still doesn't acknowledge Sensei's hostile aura as he keeps conversing.

“Don't worry about it, humans don't always remember encounters with gods. I don't blame you for something you can't help.”

But it doesn't feel right, Takashi thinks. He doesn't want to continue living as if nothing happened; what if he forgets again in a few months? Isn't he the one who should make efforts to remember instead of simply accepting that it is the way the world is? Gods can’t keep living if there are no believers left.

“Besides, if I remember correctly, we only met a handful of times,” Yatogami continues. “It wasn't enough for your kid brain to believe that gods actually exist.”

Takashi isn't convinced, but Yatogami is smiling and it would be rude to ruin the mood by insisting that something feels wrong.

“I suppose,” Takashi answers, nodding slowly.

“Anyway! I’m really glad that you’re looking well. It’s rare for me to meet again past believers, after all, so seeing you all grown up is making me think I should check on other people. I could be surprised.”

“Are all gods of your caliber always this infuriating?” Sensei finally snaps.

When Takashi glances at him, he half expects to see his bodyguard baring his teeth—instead, Sensei is sitting very still, simmering in his wariness and irritation. Yatogami’s words haven’t alleviated any of his suspicions and he looks even more incensed than before. If a fight breaks out between a beast youkai and a god, Takashi isn’t sure he will be able to stop it.

“Sensei,” Takashi chides gently. “Don’t antagonize Yato-sama.”

“This guy hasn’t given me a single reason to want to be in his presence,” Sensei scoffs, and he manages to convey disdain by simply staring down at Yatogami from his position on the ground. “What does a god of calamity want from a human except making them their follower?”

Takashi should be used to Sensei’s blunt words and lack of tact but he can’t help wincing. It’s in this kind of situation, where Sensei is too stubborn and unwilling to disclose what actually bothers him, that Takashi realizes there is much about Sensei he still doesn’t know. He truly cannot read what is going through his mind—the last time he saw him so guarded, it was against Matoba-san.

Yatogami, for his part, waves a hand in the air in a dismissive gesture. Even to Takashi’s eyes, it somehow looks insulting, which further exacerbates his feeling of dread.

“I didn’t even do anything and I’m accused of committing some crime! Who is this, Takashi?”

Sensei doesn’t miss a beat and scowls.

“I am a great and noble beast youkai, one who will make you cower in fear,” he says haughtily. “You can call me Nyanko-sensei.”

A beat. Takashi opens his mouth, then promptly closes it. Doesn’t Sensei want to look more intimidating by revealing who he truly is…? Doesn’t this nickname severely undermine his reputation…? Now that he thinks about it, Sensei has never introduced himself with his real name; even in front of Matoba-san, he only ever responded to the name Takashi bestowed him.

Yatogami picks up on that detail as well, judging by the quirking of his eyebrow. He looks amused, but not angry or confused. Maybe he is used to youkai giving names other than their own—who knows what youkai think of when they want to play pranks on people.

“Very well, Nyanko-sensei. That’s a cute name for a youkai.”

“I, uh, gave it to him”, Takashi explains hurriedly. “Please don’t pay attention to him, Yato-sama, I don’t know why he’s acting like this. He’s not as rude usually.”

“I can be plenty rude if I want to,” Sensei grunts.

Takashi side-eyes him. “Don’t.”

“I have no idea what kind of relationship you two have, but it’s quite entertaining,” Yatogami says, nodding sagely like this is some performance he’s watching. “You’re too careful, Takashi. Your friend seems the type to dislike going in circles while no answers are provided, so my continued presence is driving him crazy.”

“I didn’t think you would be able to understand that so quickly,” Sensei snorts. “You’re smarter than you look.”

“I have experience dealing with people who don’t want me around.”

This entire conversation is bad for Takashi’s heart. This is like watching Misuzu and Hinoe wrangling Sensei into doing something that “sounds stupid and unworthy of his attention”, but ten times worse. If they don’t stop, he fears that they will truly start fighting.

“Stop antagonizing Yato-sama,” he tells Sensei again, with a pointed look. “He hasn’t done anything harmful and he doesn’t intend to. I think it’s pretty obvious he’s not the malevolent god you pretend he is.”

Before Sensei has time to retort something most likely scathing, Yatogami claps his hands and catches his attention.

“Everyone calm down! I still have no idea why I’m the topic of a misunderstanding but I swear that Takashi isn’t going to get hurt or anything. He hasn’t seen me in years and as a god, I’m more than happy to see that he remembered me.”

Yatogami turns towards Takashi and winks while holding two fingers near his temple in a salute, the perfect picture of someone being unperturbed by the circumstances. Takashi offers him a strained smile; this is the type of attitude that is most difficult to read and predict—even if there is no imminent danger, Sensei isn’t going to take at face value such blatant, over-exaggerated enthusiasm.

“Since I can’t hide it from the noble Nyanko-sensei, yes I am a god of calamity,” Yatogami continues, unreserved. “Used to, anyway. I don’t tend to announce it, it’s bad marketing, you know? I’m a delivery god who aims to become rich and revered by lots of people.”

“I do remember that,” Takashi pipes up, feeling the heavy weight of 5-yen coins in his pockets.

“Unbelievable,” Sensei mutters. “Gods don’t get to decide what they are or are not.”

Then, for a fraction of a second, Yatogami drops the act. His curled lips aren’t quite smiling, and the glint in his eyes looks…appraising. Dangerous. Takashi resists the urge to take a step back or to let shivers take control of his body.

“That’s what you think,” Yatogami says in an almost whisper, confident. “Watch me.”

Takashi thinks this is a prayer.

Who listens to the prayers of gods?

Thinking that enough is enough, that Yatogami doesn’t have to put up with them longer than necessary, Takashi bends down and gathers Sensei in his arms, ignoring his cries of protest. The flash in Yatogami’s eyes is a warning—against what, Takashi is not sure, but there is no doubt Sensei will take it the wrong way.

“I believe in you, Yato-sama,” Takashi states firmly. “You may be a god of calamity, you still helped me when no one wanted to.”

He reaches into his pocket, closes his fingers around a coin, and extends his fist towards him. Yatogami, momentarily stunned, only stares. Takashi shakes his fist a bit in invitation.

“I’ll remember you. And if I don’t, Sensei is here to remind me.”

“I didn’t agree to such a thing,” Sensei complains.

Slowly, Yatogami reaches out as well and places his palm under Takashi’s fist. Takashi drops the 5-yen coin onto his hand, and he doesn’t miss the way Yatogami slightly tenses upon being offered the proof of their shared past. Maybe more than shock that colors his face, it is surprise at getting that precious coin without even asking.

“I didn’t fulfill any wish yet,” Yatogami indicates, though he still closes his hand around the coin.

“I know. It’s a gift for answering my call and coming here.”

Sensei doesn’t try to ruin this moment. Takashi knows he senses that this is important to him; whether he’s acting in childish wonder or blind trust, Takashi will not abandon Yatogami like he did once. No more.

It is hard to pinpoint what emotion is flickering on Yatogami's face at that moment, unsmiling and still as he is. He most definitely didn't expect such a gesture, and it occurs to Takashi that he must have been wondering all along what would happen during this meeting. Nobody ever requests the presence of a god for a chat, after all.

“I'm not a child anymore. I will keep my promise,” Takashi says fervently.

Yatogami slowly, deliberately, relaxes his shoulders. It wouldn't have been visible if Takashi wasn't paying attention to it.

“Thanks, Takashi,” Yatogami says. “If only there were more humans like you.”

What a loaded statement. Takashi doesn't think he's anyone special.

“Time to go,” Sensei grouches, swatting at Takashi’s arm. “We've stayed here longer than necessary.”

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Nyanko-sensei.”

Yatogami flashes him a smile that is more mocking than sincere, and Sensei ignores him with such grace that Takashi feels oddly proud.

“Take care of yourself, Yato-sama,” Takashi tells Yatogami.

Yatogami nods. “You too. See you around then!”

And just like this, Yatogami turns on his heels and walks away, waving a hand in the air. This sight is familiar to Takashi, but instead of feeling like he’s lost something precious, his heart swells with relief. He commits that moment to memory.

Sensei waits until they are back at the Fujiwara house to speak about the encounter.

“I wouldn’t trust him yet,” he announces calmly, a lot less irritated than he had been during the day. “Don’t stick your nose into business that’s not yours to deal with.”

“Come on, Sensei,” Takashi sighs. “You saw that Yato-sama wasn’t dangerous, right?”

“For now he isn’t. You don’t know what will happen in the future.”

Takashi dangles a piece of the pancake he’s eating and Sensei immediately snatches it from his hand, successfully distracted. There is no point discussing about the topic further, given how adamant Sensei is—nothing, for now, will change his opinion on Yatogami. Takashi isn’t against practicing some caution or keeping a safe distance from a god who is apparently malicious, but he can’t bring himself to doubt Yatogami’s kindness. Who would spare so much effort into creating a positive image of themselves if they weren’t at least a bit honest about it? Is he being too naive again?

Gods and youkai are different, of course, but Takashi remembers missed opportunities he’s had with youkai. Misunderstandings, even, especially in Reiko-san’s memories. Gods most likely experience this feeling as well, despite their status. Takashi wants to believe that he still has a chance to reconnect with Yatogami because Yatogami looked so vulnerable when he accepted the 5-yen coin, as if that simple gift was something world-shattering.

Takashi won’t forget again. He knows so much now, thanks to Sensei—it is his own wish that he will fulfill.

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Hayley's Completely Self-Indulgent and Borderline Ridiculous Bill Cipher Playlist (Part 1)

Just gonna go for it and make a masterpost of all the songs (video links included) I've got on my Bill playlist so far.

'So far' being the key words; I've added over a hundred songs at this point and will probably add more in time. Whether it's songs I think Bill would like, songs that just remind me of Bill, the most obnoxious songs to hear on a party playlist, songs connected to the side of himself he tries to bury in lies, or songs that I'll admit are a bit of a stretch but they still remind me of Bill so I added them anyway, I've got a little bit of everything here.

I do take requests for songs to add but also don't make fun of me for some of the more obvious and basic choices because I know. I know. But also I can do whatever I want forever.

I did put some small reasons/infodumps next to each song, to explain why I picked them. Or I'll just say that it had Bill vibes to me and leave it at that.

Anyway, for anyone interested (if you actually read all my little blurbs, massive props to you), the first chunk of songs are listed below. Just a heads up, it's LONG and this is only the first part:

Mariana & The Diamonds - Oh No! - Yeah, obviously. Obviously.

Taylor Swift - Death Note ｢AMV｣ Look What You Made Me Do - I said it before, I'll say it again; Death Note AMV creators can turn water into wine and every time I watch this one, I can't stop picturing the song from the POV of a manipulative, power-hungry bastard with a God Complex. So you know, Bill. But only specifically in this context, it doesn't hit as hard without the AMV.

Fall Out Boy - Centuries - Listen to the lyrics of the chorus. That's Bill. Like...that's Bill. The rest of the song has a lot of really good Bill lyrics as well.

Scissor Sisters - I Can't Decide - Shut up. SHUT UP. I knew about the song WAY before it was ever applied to Bill. Heck, I knew about this song way before Bill even existed so SHUSH. But like, come on. Sometimes a song choice is overapplied to a character for a reason; it works.

Creature Feature - The Greatest Show Unearthed - I think my teenage self would strangle me if I didn't put at least one Creature Feature song on here. Lucky for him, I've put more than one. But the other one comes later. ...Did I add it? I should check that.

Voltaire - Land of the Dead - Speaking of teenage Hayley's tastes, time for the Voltaire songs I've definitely just added because of the 'I'm 13 and this is Deep' vibes. But also Voltaire fucks severely and every Bill playlist should have at least one of his songs on it, in my personal opinion.

Voltaire - When You're Evil - Once again, I'm 13 and this is Deep, but also tell me you can't imagine Bill singing this to himself. No, not in a sexy way in a human body who looks like Oregonian Onceler, in the edgy teenager way where you thinks you're the most evilest evil in the entire world but you're really just going through puberty and also probably transgender, but you don't know that yet.

Voltaire - Death Death (Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil, Song) - Once again, edgy teen who thinks he's the most evilest evil in the entire world (I don't think Bill is actually irredeemably, unquestionably evil, he'd just really vibe with 'Ooh I'm so evil! I'm such a bad guy!' songs).

I'm pretty sure this is the last Voltaire song for now, unless I added Brains! somewhere down the line and forgot. (Also just a mild warning but this song DOES use the f-slur, if that bugs you)

The Greatest Showman Cast - The Other Side - Sighs. Look. It's a Bill and Ford song to me. I don't even mean romantically or anything, just LISTEN to it. That's them. If there were a Gravity Falls Musical, dedicated to recreating the entire show through song and dance, the two of them meeting for the first time would have a song exactly like this. I refuse to apologize for this choice. Also a Gravity Falls musical would rule, someone should make that eventually.

Italobrothers - My Life is a Party - Just the first of my many Dragostea Din Tei choices for this playlist. I really like the original, okay? And I usually end up attached to people who try to remix it/make a new song outta it. This one has the bonus of also being a fun party song.

David Guetta, Bebe Rexha - I'm Good (Blue) - Speaking of the first choice of a song I have multiple times on this playlist in some form. I don't care what anybody says, I think this song is a lot of fun and I think Bill would have it on one of his party playlists somewhere. Probably the Nightcore version, it's a lot quicker and makes for a better fistpumping song, in my personal opinion.

Set It Off ft. William Beckett - Wolf In Sheep's Clothing - Yeah, I'm not explaining this one, you get it.

Vocaloid (made by Fukase) - ‘Cause I’m a Liar - I actually don't like this one all that much, and I can feel everyone's judgment about having a fucking Kokichi Ouma fansong on here. But the lyrics don't lie. Or...I guess they do. It's a song about being a liar, that's the joke. (Also slight content warning but the video has a lot of flashy effects, so take caution!)

Kesha - Blow - Of course we've gotta have some Kesha. There will be more. She needs no explanation.

Kesha - TiK ToK - Once again, not explaining myself. It's Kesha.

Taylor Swift -【AMV】Death Note - Blank Space - What I said about the last Death Note AMV with a Taylor Swift song. It just works so well for a manipulative guy like Bill, but only when set to Death Note specifically. Why? I have no idea, it just hits different. It's like eating crackers with cheese whiz: not a healthy or fantastic snack by any means but sometimes I just want some junk food. Except this junk food manipulates people.

Kesha - Take It Off - Once again, will not explain my Kesha choices. You understand that Bill and the Henchmaniacs would be Kesha girlies or you don't.

Neil Cicierega - It's Gonna Get Weird - Giggles. Also funny enough, I don't listen to this all that often. Dunno why.

Gravity Falls Soundtrack - Is It Bottomless - Triangulum Entagulum - I mean, yeah.

Gravity Falls Soundtrack - A Very Tricky Triangle - I mean, yeah x2. I don't care if this might be cheating, I can do what I want. But also, isn't this such a FUN instrumental? I love the music they use for him in the show SO much. It's so sinister and otherworldly. Top-notch soundtracking.

Voltaire - Brains! - Oh, hey, I did add Brains! to this. Anyway, we can tell I was a Billy and Mandy kid so I'm gonna project that onto Bill. Also I'm 90% sure this is the last Voltaire song I have on the list. For now.

Trolls 3 - Mount Rageous [Extended Edition] - This is absolutely one of my most self-indulgent picks on the list, especially because I went straight for the one that includes the Sweet Dreams part of the song (because I guess the soundtrack doesn't actually have it?)

Anyway, it's a song all about faking it to make it, sung by people who have gone on to manipulate everyone around them by using others for their own abilities. So I think I at least have SOME excuse to connect it to Bill. Maybe? Possibly? I think so. Plus it fucks and actually got me to semi-care about the Trolls films again.

Alex Hirsch - We'll Meet Again - Giggles again.

Marina and The Diamonds - Bubblegum Bitch - Insert that post about always understanding whenever someone slaps Bubblegum Bitch onto a character playlist. That character's Miss Sugar Pink Liquor Liquor Lips now. Admittedly I don't have any other real reason for it to be on here, other than its extreme levels of cunt. Maybe Bill adds it to his party mix at Pyronica's request or something. Now THERE'S a Bubblegum Bitch.

Rihanna - Disturbia - Another song that gives me Bill and Ford vibes. Pretty self-explanatory, probably. Probably?

Malia J - Smells Like Teen Spirit - I also have the original version and the Weird Al parody down further on the playlist, and I tie them all to Bill in different ways. This one's for his more ominous and sinister side, where it's like 'I'm coming and I'm not leaving :)', whereas the original touches more on the 'teen/young adult revolutionary' side of things and the Weird Al cover is just because Weird Al. Also this cover is so pretty and chilling to me.

David Guetta ft.Sia - Titanium - This one's kind of a 'I could take it or leave it on here' song, admittedly, but also it gives me pre-Second Dimension-Destruction Bill vibes, in a twisted kind of sense. Like, he feels all powerful and like nobody can stop him...as he proceeds to make the worst mistakes of his life and destroys everything he knows. Might stew on this one and potentially remove it, but it can stay for now.

Ricky Martin - Livin' La Vida Loca - I feel like this one speaks for itself. He's insane. He's cah-RAZZYYYYY. Also it's a fun party song.

Freak Kitchen - Freak of the Week - This one just fucking rules. I'll admit connecting it to Bill outside of the title is a stretch, it's more a critique on people so desperate to achieve fame and fortune that they'll go as far as putting their own lives in danger to get it, whereas Bill is more likely to put others in danger to achieve his own goals.

But also he was willing to destroy the universe with himself inside it, for the sake of the most wild party imaginable. Also, desperate to seek fame and fortune without considering the dangers necessary to get there? Could always stretch further, say it's a Bill and Ford song. Either way, I'm keeping it on the playlist.

Christina Milian - Am to Pm - I've just really liked this song since I was like, ten, and it's a fun party song. Not all of Bill's party songs have to be super annoying, sometimes they can be bops. The bops make you lower your defenses. So when he drops a What Does The Fox Say? down the line, you're completely blindsided. Yes, it will be on here.

Viva La Vida - Coldplay - A human Bill song if I ever heard one. Another fairly basic choice, but again, I don't think it's a HUGE stretch to tie it to him. Plus again, insert that Top Forty Hits quote from Dipper here. They're in the top forty for a reason, they're CATCHY.

Eurobeat Brony - Discord (Remix) - Yeah.

Alina - When You Leave [Numa Numa] [Basshunter Radio Mix] - I told you this song was going to be all over the playlist. And we still haven't gotten to the original yet. Also fun fact; there was originally another version of the song before this one, but upon a relisten I was like 'Hmm, nah, it's good but I don't know if it's got that Bill energy.' Yes, I can and do compare Dragostea Din Tei covers for my Bill Cipher playlist like I'm comparing paint swatches at Home Depot. It's that important to me.

Switchfoot - Dare You To Move - I have no excuses for putting a song from a psuedo-Christian rock band on my Bill Cipher playlist outside of the sheer nostalgia factor, and I can't even pretend it's a one-off thing because there's another one of their songs further down the list. But CONSIDER; the Axolotl singing it to him. That's all I'm going to say. I will not apologize.

BB Cooper - Blame - To me, this is one of those songs about the feelings Bill probably tries to drown in lies. I realize it's a stretch, because we know he wouldn't actually stop and self-reflect in the way that the song does.

But at the same time...I could easily see someone making an animatic set to this song with Pre-Second-Dimension-Destruction Bill at the beginning and it switches to present-day Bill for the second half. I see the vision, even if I realize Bill would try his hardest NOT to see it.

Either that or he'll interpret it as a 'You see? I'm not the villain here. My tragic past is the real reason I'm like this.' song. But you know, there's always that thin thread that's tied to his past, before everything unfolded as it did. Where at some point, he really and truly wasn't to blame. Alas.

They Might Be Giants - Particle Man - Heehee hoohoo triangle man.

Tom Cardy (ft. Montaigne) - Red Flags UNO REVERSE - I added these two in reverse order, oops. Oh, well. I feel like it adds to the chaos.

Tom Cardy (ft. Montaigne) - Red Flags - Of course. Sidenote but this song is physically impossible to sing out loud in public unless you want some WEIRD looks from people.

Hudson Mohawke - Cbat - Tell me he wouldn't love this garbage.

Circus Music - Just circus music. Because he's a massive clown.

Earth Wind & Fire - Boogie Wonderland - Just a fun song, especially for parties.

Nicki Minaj - Super Bass - It feels so wrong to think of a party mix without it, and I feel like Bill would agree.

Toby Fox - Your Best Friend and Toby Fox - Your Best Nightmare - These two are tied together in that order, for pretty obvious reasons.

Simple Plan - I'm Just A Kid - I bounced back and forth with myself before eventually taking Teenagers by MCR off the playlist. I'm not doing that with this song. It just...it feels Bill, you know?

Maybe specifically my version of him, but also can't you imagine your own version of him blasting this at the age of like, fourteen? Am I wrong? I don't feel like I'm wrong. Also I might add Teenagers back onto the list, he needs more of those angsty teen songs.

Darude - Sandstorm - It's a meme, it's funny, it'd be a blast at parties.

Flo Rida ft. Kesha - Right Round - I wouldn't count this as a Kesha song but also I could easily see them bumping it in the Fearamid.

Sia - Chandelier and Toad - Chandelier - Once again, a two-for-one special. I feel like Bill would enjoy both for various reasons. He can interpret it as just another party song, while ignoring the obvious darker implications behind the song of masking your true pain and emotions through a wild and reckless lifestyle. He'd probably love to get as literal as possible with it and try swinging from a chandelier. The Toad once is ear-splitting annoying. I think they fit

Florence and the Machine - Cosmic Love - This one is just for Mina. That's the only reason it's here.

Weird Al - Polka Face - Funny Weird Al song.

Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby - Drake suggested this one and it was right. I laughed and added it, then proceeded to get jumpscared by it when I shuffled the playlist this morning. So that was funny. Go, white boy, go.

Tim Rothrock & Jim Wise - Goofy Goober Rock - More Drake suggestions (this and the other Spongebob songs, along with a few others down the line), and this makes me smile extra hard because I've been in such a Spongebob mood lately :)

Spongebob - Jelly Fish Jam (4 Hour Edition) - Yes, the 4-hour edition specifically. If you're not jamming as much as the jellyfish did in the episode, you're doing something wrong.

Spongebob - Sweet Victory - Of course. Gotta honor the classics.

Weird Al - NOW That's What I Call Polka! - Another one of my personal favorite Weird Al polka mashups.

LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem - Would Bill be Team Party Rockers or Team Party Rock Is?

Cutting it off here because this playlist has over a hundred songs so far and I'm only at...57. How fun for me personally to stop there for the first part. Anyway, expect the next part in a bit.

[vixensofsorrow]

Demolition Lovers - Ⅳ i'll hang myself in lights and I will glow for you

DISCLAIMER: This fic is a long slowburn with multiple chapters, still being updated. also on AO3 my masterlist (all the chapters are linked there) PAIRING: young!Carol Denning/fem!reader OVERALL SUMMARY: An exploration of your and Carol's relationship through the years. CHAPTER SUMMARY: The argument won't leave your mind, and you need to take care of it ASAP. CHAPTER TAGS: fluff, angst, developing relationship, argument, hurt/comfort, complicated feelings A/N: I absolutely suck at the chapter tags thing

You dreaded the thought of going to school tomorrow. You spent the whole Saturday in your bed, puking up Fridays’ regrets into a bucket, with a pounding headache and a tight knot in your stomach.

Even though it was a Sunday night, some consequences of excessive drinking still hadn’t worn off, but you weren’t exactly sure if it was anxiety, a hangover, or an awful combination of both. Your parents had their suspicions, but you and your sister made a great team when it came to lying to them, and food poisoning was the most plausible excuse. Dana could tell that you were in a bad mood, but you blamed it on the alcohol.

You couldn’t remember most of what happened at the party, and you only found out about the argument that happened between you and Carol when Gina called yesterday to check in on you, but when you asked her about the topic of the fight, she said that all she could recall was all the yelling, crying, and swearing, and not what it was actually about.

You wondered if Carol also forgot about what went down. Most likely not, since she didn’t ring you at all, but you’ll find out tomorrow. The urge to call her with an apology for whatever you did was overwhelming, but so was the dread.

You gulped and reached over to the spruce-blue landline on your end table, inputting her number on the keypad. Halfway through, you stopped and put the handset down.

One time, Jennifer advised that “ No one should trust themselves after 9 PM ”, and perhaps she had a good point. Maybe for now, you should go to sleep obliviously and not relive the childhood flashbacks of confusion and desolation.

The bell rang, and English class was dismissed. Carol didn’t show up to school at all today, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was your fault. Thankfully, you’ll have a whole hour to linger on it, since it was lunch period.

You slowly walked down the traffic-jammed stairway, resisting the rude urge to cut in front of others, as you gave stern looks to the freshmen who still hadn’t caught the hand of the unspoken school etiquette. After what seemed like forever, you reached the ground floor and made your way toward the cafeteria, but frankly, you weren’t even in the mood to eat right now.

The overpowering stench of frying grease, tomato sauce, and overboiled broccoli wafted around in the canteen, and with that, the rest of your appetite disappeared completely.

Most of the long, beige-laminate rectangle tables were still empty, with most people waiting in line with their trays.

You nipped over to the vending machine, before a line could form there as well, and bought yourself a coke. As you expected, the grody machine swallowed your twenty-five cents, without giving you the item. Shit, you must’ve been cursed, because everything that could go wrong, went wrong. You just hoped you wouldn’t majorly fuck up at practice today.

You sighed and repeatedly banged on the dispenser to loud snickering coming from one of the groups, which caused you to turn around. Typically, you’d ignore it, but all your patience already run out. You didn’t have to look for long to find the perpetrators of the hyena-like laughter, of course it were the wannabe Valley Girls, but with a new addition to them; a thin, tall girl with sharp cheekbones, wide mouth, brown perm hair, and a fringe.

Strangely, she reminded you of somebody, but you brushed it off, blinded by irritation. You made eye contact with her and walked away from the vending machine, flipping their table off with a fake smile as you passed by on the way to where you always sat.

You plopped down on the plastic seat facing Rachel and stretched out your arms on the table with a groan. Fortunately, your lunch period aligned with hers, Gina's, Kristen’s, and now Carol’s, too.

“L/N, you’re that upset over a can of Coke?” Gina teased, probably exactly knowing what you’re actually upset about, poking around in the food with a fork, as Rachel ate the soggy mozzarella sticks and Kristen counted coins she pulled out of her pocket.

You looked up at her with a poker face, sucking in your cheek. “Uh, you know what, I’m upset for a different reason, but yeah, let’s go with that.”

Kristen peered up from her stack of coins and joined in on the conversation, her soft eyes analyzing your expression. “You wanna talk about it?” She had a caring and comforting aura, making it very hard to resist venting your heart out.

“Not really. I’m curious though, do any of you know what, like, actually went down between me and Carol at Nicole’s party?” You cracked your knuckles and took off your jacket, tying it around your waist while you waited for an answer. Rachel furrowed her bushy ginger eyebrows, still chewing her food, switching her attention from you to Gina, the only one who vaguely knew what happened, to confused Kristen, who put the coins back in her jean pocket, and then again back to you. 

The goalkeeper broke the silence as she swallowed the fried cheese. “Enge, what? Are you talking about that girl you were with? The one with the glasses?” She gesticulated.

Gina raised her brows and looked away, forming her dark red lips into a straight, thin line. 

“Okay, yeah, so nobody knows what really happened, fuck.” You groaned and leaned back in the chair, pushing back your cuticles. “Also, yes, I am talking about the one with the glasses. ”

Gina rested her elbows on the table. “Listen, from my point of view, I heard vague shouting and cursing, and then you bro-”

You cut her off in the middle of the sentence. “You told me all of that already, thanks.”

“Well, then that’s your only clue, L/N. Unless you want to walk around asking half the school about it.” The defensive-midfielder snapped back with her raspy voice. 

“Rachel, what about you?” You continued searching for an answer, even though you were aware that she most likely didn’t know anything. Still, you held onto a sprinkle of hope.

“I was taking care of ‘Ronica the whole time, sorry.” 

Kristen joined in on the conversation, and your eyes immediately lit up. “Actually, oh gosh, well, probably this won’t even help you…but” The blonde-haired defender was about to break into a long, detailed narrative of what she saw.

“Okay, so, I was hanging out in the kitchen, and I dragged Jason to the party with me, and we were sitting there together, talking, whatever. Gosh, he’s such a dweeb, but in a good way, he started writing down lyr-”

“Get to the point, Kris.” Gina reminded, gently laying her hand on Kristen’s shoulder.

“Right, right, sorry. So there was that and in the middle of us talking this disheveled girl with huge glasses and a blue flannel stormed in, I had a realization like, hey, I think she’s the new girl from Art class, but anyway…”

You were sure that she was indeed talking about Carol, and you sat up straight in your seat, listening carefully. The whole table focused on Kristen and the story.

“…And I’m talking disheveled , her face was red and puffy, and she was sniffling, I could tell she was hyperventilating too. Man, I felt really bad for her… Anyway, she pushed away some people who stood in front of the sink and just put her entire head under it while the water was still running, I think she might have been crying. Yeah, and then she leaned on the counter, the water was dripping everywhere, and well she vomited and then ran away.” She took a bite of broccoli that she dipped in marinara sauce. You thought that maybe she would provide some more useful information, but it was better than nothing, and you were desperate.

“Huh, well thanks, Kristy.” You forced yourself to smile swiftly, as a sign of appreciation.

Rachel tilted her head and put her fork down, as her mouth fell open and she squinted her green eyes that pierced right through you. “Hold on, is the girl with the glasses that Carol? Childhood best friend Carol?”

“Yup, that’s her.” The girls oohed in response, and you sighed while dropping your shoulders down.

Everyone on the team knew the lore behind Denning and you, for better or for worse, and surely some of them shared classes with her too.

You contemplated the description of the state Carol was in after the fight you had, and you really didn’t want to believe it, because then, you must’ve done something truly horrible for her to let people see her weak and emotional side. You didn’t want to believe that you abandoned your wasted friend in the middle of an overstimulating party full of people she didn’t know, left by herself in such a moment of vulnerability, surrounded by tons of drugs and alcohol.

The worst kinds of scenarios flooded in, such as someone taking advantage of her, roofing her drink, beating her up, Carol overdosing, or even someone kidnapping her - what if that’s what happened and she was too scared, or embarrassed, or upset to come to school today? What if she couldn’t come at all? Your fingers traveled to the pimple on your cheek, maniacally picking at it.

Perhaps, leaving her be - because it seems that’s what you did, was even worse than the actual argument, with much more serious consequences, and you just let it happen, for whatever idiotic reasons your drunken self had.

Blood began to seep out from the scratched-up acne onto your fingers as Rachel snatched your hand, murmuring, “Stop that” before you could go too far. You shook your head, trying to make the thoughts go away, and Kristen handed you a tissue.

You ran up the stairs as fast as possible, nearly tripping because of your wet shoes. The door almost fell off its hinges as you burst into your bedroom, carelessly throwing the duffle bag away. You swiftly grabbed the note with Carol’s address and phone number written on it, and immediately rushed outside. The cold rain poured down from the gray, cloudy sky as you took off for her house on your bike, still in the soccer uniform and backpack on your shoulders.

This whole situation was bothering you the whole weekend, even more, today, and you were going to figure out what was going on.

It couldn’t go on for another week, or two weeks, or longer, or your brain would eat itself alive with the overthinking. It already was in the process of doing so - you couldn’t remember the last time you did so badly at practice, and you wouldn’t forgive yourself if you fucked up State Championships for everyone because of your anxiety over a childhood best friend.

The wheels hit the puddle potholes, and rainwater mixed with dirt of the streets splashed on your sneakers. The wind blew away the hood of your soaked jacket, some warm-toned leaves brushing past you, your faintly blue-hued fingertips gripping the handle. You had a feeling this adventure would end up with you catching a cold or an unbearable strep throat. The American landscape of gas stations, parking lots, diners, and fast food chains illuminated the streets. You passed by a crowded Domingo’s and made a final right-turn, riding in the middle of a long road full of houses surrounding it from both sides, looking out for Carol’s place. Almost no one was outside except for children playing in the heavy rain or exhausted yuppies returning from work. The street was remotely quiet, except for shouting coming from one of the houses.

During your time scoping out the surroundings, a middle-aged couple walked out of one of the buildings, the man yelling at whoever was standing on the other side of the door as it got shut close aggressively, along with a kid - most likely their daughter, who was talking with her mom. You looked at the address on the paper, and the house number matched the one you just observed, now aware that the parents and favorite child of the Denning family just reversed out of the driveway. You waited for them to drive past you and when they did you immediately got off your bike, charging towards the front door as it hit the lawn, the wheels still spinning, along with your head.

Out of nowhere, heavy trepidation filled your whole body, and a lump formed in your throat as you stood on the porch, almost glued to the oak floor. All the confidence you had went away with the snap of a finger, and the dropping levels of adrenaline brought you down to earth, but your heart was still pounding. Turns out, you weren’t ready to find out the truth, but you couldn’t back out now. You slowly raised your numb, cold hand and knocked repeatedly, until the door swung open, and when it did, your head jerked back and brows furrowed, slowly morphing into high arches as you crossed your arms.

“Um, hi? Oh, it’s you.” Barbara chuckled, with her hands in the pockets of her pants. “You’re mental, how did you even find my house?!”

“Hey, Barb…” Shit, this is awkward. She parted her lips as her tongue darted around inside the mouth, her wide eyes looking you up and down. A smirk grew on her face, and you could tell that some childhood memories came back to her. “...Uh, is Carol home?” You stammered, discreetly cracking your knuckles.

Miss Congeniality scoffed. “Oh my gosh, Y/N. I would’ve never guessed in a hundred years that you, of all people, would be on a high school sports team! I always took you for the artsy type.”

“Right, well, y’know, those two don’t exclude each other… Is Carol home?” You repeated.

“Ugh, yeah.” She stepped aside, letting you in, grimacing as she noticed water dripping everywhere. “Second door on the right.” Barb tilted her head in the direction of the upstairs as she closed the door. “Thanks…” You whispered, slowly walking up, tightly gripping the sleeve of your jacket.

Thank the gods you were drenched from the rain - you didn’t have to worry about the tremendous amount of sweat trickling from your forehead. You took a proper breath, the first one since you got on that bike, and knocked on the poster-covered door. 

“Fuck off, Barbie!” Carol yelled out, her voice was weirdly strained and creaky. You debated if you should knock once again, or just walk in. You landed on the first, and heavy footsteps along with a loud groan and a “What the fuck do you want now?” followed towards you. Maybe you should’ve gone with just storming in; the hostile tone stiffened your muscles and you were so pale that if not for the racing heartbeat, you could’ve sworn you were dead.

She unlatched the door at full tilt, the sudden airflow cooling your wet, wincing body. As she saw you, she immediately shifted from being truculent and aggressive, to calm and collected. Carol leaned on the doorframe, squinting her red, puffy eyes as she took in how much of a mess you were. It took you longer than you’d like to admit, to notice fresh, oval-shaped bruises on her upper arm, which you kept on dwelling at until she rapidly hid the arm behind her back. You wanted to ask her about it, but you couldn’t utter a word.

“You look like hell, Engie.” The use of the nickname caught you off guard. How did she even know it? Carol turned her head away for a second to brush away something on her flushed face.

“How do you even-” You stuttered, shaking your head and blinking rapidly.

“What do you want?” She cut you off in a stern tone. Her jaw was slightly quivering.

You sighed, sucking in air through your teeth, still holding onto your jacket. “Carol, do you, do you remember what happened between us at the party? Or just anything?”

Carol scoffed, and her eyes darted around alongside a puffy pout in a mocking manner. “Well, I do remember. Quite a lot, actually.” She looked you up and down again, clenching her jaw with a now serious expression. “Looking at the state of you, and the fact that you had the audacity to show up at my fucking house, you probably don’t remember shit.”

“Yea, that’s why I fucking asked in the first place, Denning.” You let go of the sleeve and made eye contact with her, even to your surprise, retaliating her attitude. You were fed up and truly did not want to argue, but it seemed like that was the only way to make things clear.

She raised her brows and chuckled. “Alright. I’ll tell you how it went. You were drunk out of your mind, and so was your little best friend Vee, and some ginger girl was there too. You went to help her, and you left me all alone. That was a shitty move, Y/N. Then you came back and started comin’ at me, being all mad that I didn’t help too, or some other bullshit, and when I tried to tell you that I wasn’t feelin’ good too, you pulled out the childhood trauma card, blaming everything on me. And hmm… I think that’s it. Oh, and you also told me to fuck off before storming off and getting even more fucked up. I think you might have a drinking problem or somethin’.” Carol gritted her teeth and smiled at you with narrow, brown, glassy eyes. “Is that enough?”

Your stomach sank. You didn’t want to believe the words that just came out of her mouth. You understood now why she didn’t want to talk to you, after that, you wouldn’t talk to yourself either. She has been back in town for barely a week, and you already fucked it all up for you both. You had a feeling that you should just apologize and walk away now, but you were concerned about what happened after you stormed off, the bruise, and what happened for her to be crying before you even arrived. You might’ve left her alone that time, but you won’t do it now - no matter how much she asks you to. 

You clenched your fists, nails digging into your palms. “Carol, listen. I’m bad at apologies, but I’m sorry, I was drunk, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was worried sick on Saturday, and Sunday, and today. I’m, listen, please, just tell me if I did that to you. ” You pointed at the arm she held behind her back.

Denning averted her eyes from you and stared through the floor. “No, Y/N, it wasn’t you. You feelin’ better now?” She turned away, went over to the pile of clothes on her chair, and put on a sweater as you walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind you. Barb probably eavesdropped enough on that topic.

“No, not really. Did some asshole do this? Zach? Kevin? At the party? Is that why you, uh, you know, the kitchen thing…” You stood in the middle of her room, with boxes scattered around in the corners.

Carol groaned as you said “ the kitchen thing ”, running a hand through her hair and grabbing it by the roots. “God, you’re not gonna let this shit go, won’t you?” She sat down on the bed, and took off her glasses, tapping her foot and chewing on her lip. “It was an asshole, but not at the party, okay? I didn’t get raped or anything. And I told you, I also felt like shit, but you didn’t listen, seems like you’re not listening now either… But that’s why I puked, in that fuckin’ kitchen. Who even told you about this?” Her voice got weaker with each word, and she wrapped her arms around her knees.

A heavy weight lifted off your shoulders when she said that she didn’t get hurt at the party, but concern still lingered around. “Oh, Kris told me. Blonde hair, funky makeup, said you share Art period with her.” You leaned against her dark wood drawer chest, lightly picking at your face. “You know, you can te-”

She could tell where you were going with that and interrupted before you could continue. Maybe it’s for the better not to push the topic today, she was already in distress. 

“Oh, her. She’s sweet.” Carol uttered.

She wasn’t angry anymore, her voice was dull and she gazed off into the distance, avoiding you, like something would snap inside of her if she caught a glimpse. Her shoulders slumped forward, almost as if she took on the burden that just fell off yours.

The sudden, longer-than-usual hollow silence, only broken by raindrops hitting the window, filled the room with a painful aura of vulnerability and, strangely, nostalgia. You kept on looking at an almost catatonic Carol, unsure of what to do, a childlike confusion, similar to when you see your parent crying for the first time. It’s been so long since you saw her like this, and every idea that came to mind just seemed wrong.

You could remember that she didn’t like pity, but also that she loved to be held. You sat down cross-legged next to her on the plaid blanket, and before you could do anything, Carol rested her head on your damp shoulder, holding her knees close to her chest, sniffling. For a while, you were kids again, and life was simple. Nothing could hurt you as long as you were in each other's arms.

[o-wyrmlight]

Hello, folks! Apparently I was aware of this before but just completely forgot about it somehow, so I'm putting this out here also:

The perspective that Dark Cacao Kingdom is an impoverished state, and that Dark Choco himself grew up in poverty, was a mistranslation courtesy of Google Translate.

The actual current translation is below:

"In my youth, you never gave me no warmth or sweetness. We did not have an affectionate father-son relationship the way others did."

I still don't really know for certain exactly where the idea that they were impoverished came from in the translation. Thank Google for being a genius in that regard, I guess. You're doing your best.

In any case, it should be noted that there are groups of people--POC and East Asians especially--who have been bothered and been taking issue with the idea that Dark Cacao Kingdom doesn't have the means or resources to take care of themselves.

As @mantafae brought up, there is a difference in a kingdom not having material goods because they don't have the means, and having the means but chosing not to partake in creating or using them.

I personally also believe that the perception of the kingdom being poor in food is by Affogato Cookie's doing. It didn't help matters when the child at the start of the story brought up concerns about starvation only to be turned away by Affogato, when later it's revealed that the castle actually did have food to spare. It's likely that there was also more food available than what was at the feast with Affogato's followers--food that was likely meant to be divided among the citizens but wasn't allowed by Affogato himself.

That's besides the point, and leads into the idea that it was an intentional means to weaken civilians so that he had an easier time to secure the throne with little threat of revolution. Or that he was perhaps attempting to frame Dark Cacao as having hoarded the food himself and Affogato--when he became king--as a savior for giving them that food. Either way, it's a bad first impression for leading the idea that they are a stable country in terms of food and resources.

I apologize for the spread of misinformation regarding the translation--at the time, it was assumed that it was the correct translation. It's important to keep up-to-date with what the canon actually is so we don't purposefully misrepresent the characters, their kingdoms, their heritage, and the people that they are designed to represent.

If you would like to read more of Mantafae's explanation, here is the Twitter link that explains a little bit further.

Thank you for reading! Please enjoy the rest of your day comfortably.

[tumblingdowntheway2019]

Master List Here!!

Had the most funniest dream the other night about Tears of the Kingdom. Well, it was funny to me to say the least. So I decided to turn it into a short story with some wholesomeness added in.

To be safe and save room on the timeline, I'm putting a cut here, so do proceed if you've already completed the story and have all, and I mean ALL!, The Sages.

Do excuse some bad writing, I haven't done this in a very long time so I'm rusty. Actually, I do have an idea for a more serious short fic. I'll add these to my Ao3 at some point as well. Go an account, may as well use it, right?

Anyways, if you wanna draw it out, feel free to so long as I get to see it!! Enjoy. 😂🤣

FAST FOOD RUN. (Best name I got for this. 😂🤣)

All the Sages, in physical form and Spirit form for Mineru, not Avatars were with Link at his house near Tarrey Town, just hanging out. It was after the event with Gloom Daddy Ganondorf. Mineru was there because in the Hyrule's equivalent of the afterlife, King Rauru and Queen Sonia were still worried about their adopted child, Zelda, so she didn't cross over just yet.

Zelda and Purah were away seeing if there were any effects left from her time as a dragon, or maybe even seeing if Zelda can somehow transform at will, whatever Purah is wanting to research. As well as seeing if there was anything of use salvageable left in the remains of Hyrule Castle.

Mineru stayed behind, telling tales of the New Sage's Ancestors, their ups and downs and funny moments in between. It helps them connect more to their ancestors and each other as Mineru got to hear the same from them.

That was however, until a growl was heard. Of course it came from The Hero himself. That suddenly brings up a question.

"Hey Mineru?" Link turned to the Spirit sage. "Your construct. We attach all available weapons to it, and fans and rockets for extra speed. Can wheels be attached the the feet?"

Mineru turned to her construct, more so surprised at the question than what it implies. "In all honesty, I have not considered the possibility of being able to do this." An eyebrow now raised. "Why?"

Tulin, the young Rito who spent the most time with Link over the years as he doesn't really have responsibilities yet, other than training as a Rito Warrior, stood up in excitement. "I know what your about to say!!"

This left the other sages more confused as Link and Tulin debate of the possibilities of "They could surely accept a construct on wheels as a vehicle."

"Pardon my confusion, but what on Earth are you Voe talking about?" Riju asked, leaning against a dozing Patricia. She was napping earlier as well. "Why would you possibly need a construct to have wheels? You can just build a vehicle anyway or use a horse right?"

"Well about that." Link starts as he holds out his own, now Gloom free arm. Queen Sonia and King Rauru reversed everything when we freed Zelda from her Dragon Form."

"Ah, my apologies. I forgot that the abilities that came with the arm has left you also." The Gerudo Chief sheepishly apologises, ears slightly down.

"Easy to forget." Link grins, no harm done. "The reason I asked is because the local vendors near the lookout came together to do something called 'Fast Food.'"

Now the others were confused. Tulin excitedly flew around them as he explains further.

"Yeah!! Some cooks from all around Hyrule come together and make their speciality meals that can be taken on the go. They're appearing more around, it started near Look Out Landing. Just recently, Tarrey Town opened one (1) near here!!"

"What food do they cook? Do they come with a variety of options?" King Sidon question, a thoughtful look on his face as he considers this idea.

"Anything, Baked Bass, Hearty Soup, a lot of different skewers!!" Tulin starts.

Link following suit with, "And so many gourmet meat options. " His mouth practically drooling as his stomach growls again.

"That sounds nice and all, but we can easily make that at home, goro." Yunobo counters, "And free if you catch them yourself."

Link, ever accustomed to Goron culture and knowing why his Fire Sage friend seemed unimpressed. "They also have Rock Sirrlloooiiiinnn."

"NO WAY, GORO!!" Yunobo was now standing and ready to roll out at the mere mention of the popular rock dish. "Even with rubies on top?"

"Whatever you want. Like I said, "some cooks all around Hyrule", including Death Mountain.

"Well it seems this "Take out " is what we are having tonight." Sidon, doing his signature pose and smile. "Uh, that poses the question, why must Mineru's Construct form be required?"

"Also, I can't enjoy these meals anyway, so what would be in it for me if I were to try this customisation to my Construct?" Mineru chimed in. "If you haven't noticed, I've been a spirit for the past thousands of years." She almost looked down cause of it.

Riju then asked if Mineru ever liked Fried Wild Greens, any kind of curry or even a Hylian Pizza. Yes, spice tolerance is surprisingly high so yes, and no. Pizza was not a thing in Mineru's era. Riju is now determined for her to try that and a curry of her choice since Mineru can just possess her and one (1) of the guys for this to happen. While hesitant, Mineru accepted. She always wanted to see how well Gorons can handle their spices.

*LATER.*

"I can't believe this is happening." A female voice can be heard approaching. "Why did I agree to this?"

"It certainly smoother than taking a carriage." A male voice chimed in next. "Like swimming in a river!"

"I could have just walked, all the same!"

"Aww, but then you wouldn't have known that you can add wheels to your feet." A child's voice replied. "And with this fan, we could go much faster too!!"

"That's only because you can't land when you take control. We were practically swimming in gloom. You more so if I hadn't caught you on time." The female voice scolds, though there is no hint of annoyance in it.

"Hey, we're next!!"

"Welcome to Tarrey Towns Hyrule Fast Food stand, what would you like today?" A young Zora greeted. She was immediately taken aback at what was in front of her.

There, grinning wide was the Hero of the Wild, sitting on the shoulders of a huge, humanoid shaped construct with an owl shaped head. Mask? The Small Zora doesn't quite know, but somehow she can make out the somewhat unamused look to it's expressionless form. In it's arms, the newly appointed King of the Zora, signature shining smile as he holds a piece of paper. Looking up onto the constructs shoulder, a young Rito, who's feathers practically were fluffed up in excitement, was perched.

"Well this is something you don't see everyday. Great to see you Link, Your Majesty." The Zora cook bows.

"Now there's no need for that, it's good to see you again, Marot!" The King greeted his dear friend. "I'm so happy to see that you have pursued your culinary skills at last." A shining smile accompanied his words.

"If it wasn't for Link and yourself, as wells as your fellow sages, I would not have been able to do so. For that, I thank you all!" Marot did her own version of the shining smile.

"I'm staaarrrvvvviiinnnggg!!" Tulin groans as he leans back onto Link, no risk on falling as his claws were comfortably gripped onto the construct. It didn't stop Marot from fearing it, however.

"Well luckily for you, by orders of Mr Hudson who kindly allowed us to set up here, we are happy to give you all your food for free. It's the least we can do for your brave act of heroism against the Demon King." Marot happily announced. A Hylian Chef, Goron Chef and Rito Chef all cheering in agreement just being here.

"Oh, we brought money, that would not be necessary surely." Sidon quickly tried to object, Link nodding in agreement.

Sure they may have earned it in the eyes of the people of Hyrule. However, it is their living and they are happy to pay for it, especially since it's a big order. Tulin tried to object to the older men, but it was Mineru who spoke.

"While it is kind of them to offer free food. In the long run, no matter how often it may be, it is still the people of Hyrule who is making a livelihood out of their skills." Marot is surprised that the construct itself was the source of the female voice she heard earlier. Even more surprised when the owl shaped head turned to face her and asked, "Is there any compromise that can be accepted with this Mr Hudson."

"My friends. I insist on it. Link, you helped me meet my dear Rhondson and established my beloved town. What more than the occasional free food?" The man of the hour appeared, as of speaking his very name had summoned him.

"Hudson, you already gave me land and allowed me to have my house built there." Link countered.

"And you insisted on paying for that. Had to make it discounted before you finally took it." Hudson sternly replied. No hard feeling over it was detected. "And you helped give our dear daughter, Mattison, a grand send off and kept us up to date. What more could we ask for, despite you not having to take the time out of your days to do so?"

"Lady Riju said she is making great progress in Gerudo Town. She seems to be taking after you, Hudson, as she has been helping by re-building the stalls and giving some tips and tricks to her fellow sisters." Link informed Hudson, having wanting to say before he forgot. It was intended for later but this saved him the worry of forgetting later.

"Oh, my dear daughter. I'm so glad to hear she is fitting in so well there." Hudson teared up. "Rhondson will be so pleased to hear this. This is why I insist on the free food!"

With that, the Sages and Link went to the side, as Link and Sidon negotiated some sort of deal. They won't accept the free food, Hudson wants to give them it. Sidon shows the long list, saying that this is simply too much for it to be free.

Marot was on break, she approached the construct and young Rito, some Fried Wild Greens offered to Tulin, who happily took it and began to devour it.

"Please at least eat it over there, it was hard enough to clean this." Mineru gently scolded him.

"Sorry!" Tulin was totally not that sorry, as he took the food and just leaned against her on the ground instead.

Marot looked at Mineru, who in turn looked at her with a tilt of her mechanical head.

"It's on the house. Young Tulin here helped me a while ago with retrieving some ingredients for here. That gust ability sure came in handy with the greens and fish." Marot answered the unspoken question.

Mineru seemed to be satisfied. But then, as if Marot wasn't surprised already, Mineru asked:

"May I ask, how is this Hylian Pizza made?"

*BACK AT LINK'S HOUSE.*

Zelda and Purah returned some time later. Their experiments with Zelda and seeing if she had any Dragon like powers remaining had come to little answers. However, it did come as a happy suprise that Zelda's recall ability and light powers had significantly increased due to her thousands of years slumber of sorts. It would explain how she was able to take many hits from the vastly bigger Gloom Dragon in their final battle.

The ruckus they heard was funny to them. There was Link and Sidon, recounting the tales of their great negotiating skills with Hudson as they were both eating their Salmon Risottos. Tulin and Yunobo were all ears, barely touching there fish and mushroom skewer and Rock Sirloin, listening to how the Zora King battled for the Fifty percent (50%) off option.

Riju was off to the side, comforting the poor spirit of Mineru as she had undermined the Gorons ability to eat such a spicy feast. Let alone it being made of rock. Patricia was actually the first to greet The Princess and Researcher.

"Ah, Princess Zelda, welcome back. Were you able to progress in your research today?" Riju welcomes without looking. Having grown up with Patricia at her side, she had learned to understand what the sand seal's action interpret and to who. And hearing that Purah had, indeed, brought some splash fruit and hydromelons to her. Cause cute Sand Seal equals lots of pets.

"Oh uh, unfortunately the only thing we learned is my control of Recall had taken on a wider ranged. So some of the castles library was successfully repaired." Zelda quickly replied, embarrassed to admit that she was ecstatic that the seal had gave her her full attention and successfully beating Purah to it first with the Hydromelons.

"Princess, that is not unfortunate. That is a great deal of progress. Considering that the castle has been in this sad state of disrepair for over one hundred (100) years. Why, even Sonia was unable to go that far back. She would be very proud of you." Mineru gently assured, having turned from serious researcher herself to a gentle older sister/aunt figure. It worked to cheer Zelda up a good bit.

"What's going on in here anyway? What's this about having a deal in this food?" Purah asks, as she tried to bribe Patricia to come over to her, earning her a snort in return.

"Just Link and Sidon retelling the story of how they were able to negotiate on having this food for free so long as it's half off on their future meals." Riju answered, speech somewhat off as she takes another sip of Milk. "Hudson wanted us to have it for free, they wanted to pay. They settled on that. Typical Voe."

"Are you and Mineru ok? I've never seen you two (2) act like that before." Zelda asks in concern.

Riju stares her dead in the eyes as she answered with, "That Rock Sirloin, I really underestimated how spicy it can be!!"

"Oh come on guys, it's not that spicy!!" The Goron called over. "You just don't have as high a tolerance as you think, goro!"

"It nearly sent me to meet my ancestor, Mineru close behind. AND SHE WAS POSSESSING YOU!!" Riju argued.

"I did have the pleasure of seeing how this Hylian Pizza was made. I must say, I am excited to try it....if my tastes buds are able to recover in my spirit form." Mineru muses.

"COWARDS!!" Yunobo and Link yelled at in sync. Tulin in a laughing heap and Sidon taking another bite of his Risotto, trying to politely not laugh, unsuccessfully.

"Well now you have to try it. It's simply delicious!" Zelda exclaimed.

Worries and tiredness were washed away as Zelda and Purah excitedly told Mineru (who in turn was thanking Riju for allowing her this opportunity) of all the different topping that can be had on the pizza she is now enjoying. But for the love of Hylia, no Pineapples!!

[lake-archive]

Me? I'm His Fiancée

AO3 Link - Fling Posse Selfship / Yumeship Masterlist

Fandom: Hypnosis Mic

Characters: Dice Arisugawa, Ann Wolff (OC)

Pairing: Diceann (Dice/Ann)

Summary: Just when Dice thought that he could forget the time where he put Ann on the spot with a choice - To give him money or to marry him - they have to remind him in the worst way possible!

Words: 1,304

Sometimes one thinks that it cannot get worse, it just can't. However, someone would always make sure to give you the appropriate lesson, one way or another, and there is nothing you could do about it. Because it technically happened and you cannot deny it. So all you could do was stand there in shock, growing pale while having to take it in. Because even if you protest, the past will come haunting you. No, it already did just that. And for Dice it took shape in one sentence.

“Ah, me? I'm Dice's fiancée. I apologize for any trouble he has caused you.“

That sentence hit harder than it should. It may as well be a punch right into the guts. Especially since Ann themself had said it with no shame, no hesitation, no stuttering. None of that. In fact, their smile shortly after had only made it worse. They were saying it with no issues. All so he relived the following conversation.

“ Ya gotta choose! Either you give me some money or you marry me! ”

“ Alright, I’ll accept. Let’s get married. ”

He had been left speechless at the time, only staring for a good moment when they had agreed on this. And how this conversation ended… It was something he could never live down.

“Who knew being a finacée is so much fun~ You know, I actually can’t wait to get married now!”

And he firmly believed that they were just teaching him a lesson, to not pull this shit on them when asking for money. The direct approach never worked yet at worst Ann just told him “No”. However, maybe they had been angry when Dice was asking like that, at least he assumed. So he promised not to do that anymore, knowing how this would end. And he thought that was just a lesson. However, some time passed, he nearly forgot and they started to introduce themself as his ‘future spouse’. And it had him always speechless. And yet, things would only become worse…

“Fiancée!?” One of the guys said out loud, said ‘guys’ being some gambling friends Dice had made over time. All of them meet up by chance to hit the machines or play a match of poker and hope to win big eventually. Well, one of them borrowed more money than the others, usually Dice. So they were all in disbelief when hearing that he of all people had a fiancée. “Wh… When did that–”

“Oh, not too long ago. Don't worry~” Ann responded, not even giving anyone else a chance to have a word in this nor protest it. No chance in the slightest. “Not many people know yet.”

“Woha… Didn't know you already found someone. Nor did I think that anyone would take you.“ One of the guys said, facing Dice directly. “Why didn't you say somethin’?“

The self–proclaimed professional gambler was still somewhat processing the situation. Firstly, ow! That hurt deeply! No, it really did. He wasn't that unattractive… Right? But the other thing, which was way more important, was that… Well that… Isn't super wrong. The two are a couple, dating in fact. But this– “Hold on, ya seriously believe that they're–”

“Haha, Dice doesn't like making a big fuss out of it.” His partner interrupted, suddenly clinging onto one of his arms with both of their own to drag him closer, his own arm pressed right against them. A quick glance over to them and he saw that ever so carefree smile. One he was slowly getting used to as more time passed yet always at least somewhat caught off guard by. “Besides, you know how he is, don't you? When it comes to gambling, anything can slip his mind!”

Was that how they thought about him sometimes!? For real now!? … Ok maybe that's not completely wrong… But…

“Fair ‘nough.” The guy said in response before continuing: “So future Arisugawa–San, care to join us for a bit?” Hold on, future Arisugawa!? Why is everyone taking five steps ahead here!? Ah great… And yet, maybe for a second Dice did not exactly dislike the thought… A future Arisugawa… Arisugawa Ann… Huh. It didn't sound half bad to be ho– Hold on he shouldn't think that! It's not the time! He had to sort this mess out somehow! After all, Ann was just pulling everyone's leg here!

“Huh? Me? Gambling with you guys?” They asked however, as if having to make sure. Oh they came along for a reason though, didn’t they? And he could almost feel that the reason was– “I mean if it’s ok. Someone has to look after Dicey’s gambling expenses. Right?” Yeah, that’s wh—

“Wait, Dicey!?” Hearing and repeating that out loud made Dice a literal mess, his cheeks – no, face – all red and his entire body feeling warmer. He wasn’t sure how to feel about this, how to react. But they may as well got him on a leash now, trapped, no escape. And all he could do now was take it all in. Whether he liked it or not. Just as a spouse probably would. Was that how this worked actually? Hard to say, not like he ever experienced it nor had he thought he ever would. He was really questioning it now… Was Ann serious? Dead serious? Super serious!? Actually serious!? That… All of that… Well… No way, right? They gotta be shitting everyone here. He can’t buy into this! He can’t!

And yet, they turned to him once he had repeated it, looking at him ever  so innocently. It was obvious that they were pretending and yet… How could he fight back at their smile honestly? It was impossible to do. No matter the intentions behind it, he just got weak. At least a little. “Yeah. Is that a problem?” They asked with that chuckle before tightening their grip a little on him. “My little Dicey~ Don’t tell me you’re still not used to it.”

“I… That…” Still not used to it!? They never called him that before until now! What the—

“Ok lovebirds. Ya want a room?” One of the guys laughed out of nowhere when taking in the scene, making the both of them turn their heads. Needless to say, the gambler was all embarrassed, wanting to hide his own face at this point, maybe even storming out of the casino for once. This was a mistake, a big one! Ann was talking nonsense and everyone was believing it! All because he was too flustered to say a thing or they would get ahead of him! Was this what he was going to be known for now!? An engaged man in his twenties!? Wasn’t that a little too early actually!? He was too young for this! The two barely even—

“Sorry, force of habit.” They responded however, finally letting go of him. “I just can’t help myself sometimes, right?” As if awaiting a reply they were looking at him again, the smile… That damned smile! They were having their fun and they knew it all too well! Everyone just ate the shit up in the end and there was nothing he could do about it… He had to play along until finding the right time to sort out this mess, didn’t he? Great… 

“R… Right…” He responded, at the brink of mumbling though only because it was just… A lot. It was a lot. A lot to take in. Talk about inconvenience. 

Then again, maybe deep down Dice wasn’t entirely against the idea… But it’s way too early to think about that, isn’t it!? He’s too young for it, they’re too young for it! ‘sides, not like the two could ever get married anyway! … And yet, the idea doesn’t sound too bad… 

Maybe– Ah no, what was he thinking? Of course not! Nevermind…

[vegasandhishedgehog]

Okay friends of the MDZS/The Untamed fandom

If you've seen my previous post about making lotus root and pork rib soup, you know the journey I've been on. If you'd like to try making the soup yourself, a link to the recipe is toward the end of the OG post. That one got a little long with all the additions and extra advice from friends, but since I've made it again I'm reporting the results. Why I feel the need to do so is beyond me but this is the only genuine cooking I do and I deserve to be proud of every attempt, so if this annoys you, imagine these faces:

I will give a disclaimer that I had meant to make this soup a week and a half earlier but the mental illness was too strong, so yesterday I forced myself to push through the mental illness anyway so I wouldn't waste too many ingredients (we still wasted some 😔). So, alas, this soup had no ginger and half as much lotus root as desired, plus I forgot to read how much seaweed I was actually supposed to use (way less than what I used), and completely omitted the chopped scallion even though I had it ready because I just. Forgot to actually add it.

We carry on.

In all of my past versions of this soup, I didn't include the rehydrated seaweed. I was advised to give it a go this time and ...well. 😅

That bowl is a good 9 inches in diameter and 3 inches deep. And I took that photo AFTER adding a liberal amount of seaweed to the pot. Yes, I rehydrated the whole package. I didn't think about anything other than, "I'm finally adding the final step to this recipe I've been following!" and entirely missed that it only calls for 1 cup. [Hold on. Googling how long rehydrated seaweed be stored right now. OMG YOU CAN FREEZE IT THANK HEAVEN.]

This is me scooping out all the fuckin seaweed that entirely took over the soup 😅😅😅😅😅😅

Remember how I said there was half as much lotus root? Yeah, this is seaweed soup with a hint of pork now. Good luck finding any slices of lotus root.

I had also assumed that this seaweed would be salted (the packaging was NOT in English, but honestly I can't blame the label for this). I had certainly added what I thought was already a generous amount of salt but let's remind ourselves that I am barely a cook by any means. This girl doesn't know shit about how much salt should go into 12 quarts of water to add enough taste. I did go heavy on the goji berries though.

This resulted in the broth being mainly pork and goji berry water :/ if I'd had the motivation to go out and buy fresh ginger and remembered the scallion I'm sure it would've been better (and more salt obviously), but hopefully I'll be in better spirits next time I make an attempt. I learned a lot from this one.

The one thing I am proud of though?

Look at how clear that broth is. The oily bubbles are from the meat, and I also apologize I don't know if it's my phone's camera or my photography skills, but if it doesn't look clear to you I promise it does irl! I didn't use any of the cooking wine or soaking the meat with the ginger like @of-sevenseas suggested, but just by following the process in the recipe and making extra sure I washed the meat well this time, it seemed to work out!

Lessons learned:

Making soup while having a bad mental illness day is not a failed endeavor, but watch out.

Don't do this without ginger. What are you doing. That soup is wet stuff in hot water.

ADD MORE SALT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU CANNOT BE THIS WHITE.

Read the recipe including measurements. Cooking is, of course, more improvisational than baking, but there's a reason we follow guidelines. Especially when we're rookies, still.

Next time we're gonna try the cooking wine and ginger thing with the meat. It sounds like an adventure.

Celebrate your wins!!!! I did have a success in this attempt!

I also did very well keeping the cat away from this whole 7 hour process, which is the greatest success of all.

(Obligatory kitty pic, since I mentioned her. Meet Lucy everyone. She's hiding under my blankets from the loud scary generator outside my window.)

[lucy-sky]

Happy Halloween (Terrance Swaino x f!Reader)

"Your history with Terrance Swaino is mostly the history of constant flirting and occasional sex from time to time. You’ve never really considered him boyfriend material, but something kept drawing you together every time you visited your hometown. The thing is, you’ve always been good friends with his sisters, so he always knew when you were around."

Warnings: semi-public sex, cursing, oral sex f receiving, awkward situation, fluffy ending

Words: 1361; gif by me (an old one so no watermark); AO3 link if you prefer reading there

A/N: I didn’t plan to write anything about Swaino any time soon, but my hand slipped. Also ughhh why do i feel like my writing is so... clumsy? -_- Anyway, it’s past 2 a.m. and I apologize for possible typos.

You could definitely tell Swaino liked your Halloween outfit. It’s a rather simple one this year - you didn’t really have time to invent much, so you just dressed up as a witch. A hat, dark dress that flatters your curves and those stockings with spider webs and cute lacy garters with little black ribbons.

This detail in particular caught Swaino’s attention the most - the way he stared at your thighs when you played charades with his nephews, well… You could swear he was about to drool, and actually you really enjoyed yourself.

Your history with Terrance Swaino is mostly the history of constant flirting and occasional sex from time to time. You’ve never really considered him boyfriend material, but something kept drawing you together every time you visited your hometown. The thing is, you’ve always been always good friends with his sisters, so he always knew when you were around.

Swaino’s family is big and loud. The party is held in his elder sister’s house, and as always it’s a lot of fun. You’re happy to be here, but still hanging out with so many people and children is a little overwhelming, especially considering the fact you didn’t have much time to have rest after a long drive from the place you currently live. Standing in front of the mirror in the guest bathroom you drench your flushed face a little, trying not to ruin the makeup completely, and close your eyes, enjoying this moment of privacy. A sudden creak of the door almost causes you to jump.

“Happy Halloween, princess!”

“Shit”, you let out a shaky breath as you turn to see Swaino standing in the doorframe. “You scared the hell out of me, you know that?”

“Oh, really?” Terrance cocks his brow. Tonight he’s wearing a Dracula costume. Well, basically he just put a black and red cape over a white shirt and black jeans and combed his hair back. Something about this outfit makes him look like a cartoon villain, especially when he looks at you like that. “And I got a feeling you’ve been waiting for someone… Since the door wasn’t locked.”

“What?” you snort a laugh. “Don’t be ridiculous, I just forgot to lock it up, that’s all. That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Well, shame,” he smirks, as he approaches you, his large hand finding your waist and slowly moving down the curve of your butt. His fingers brush against your cheekbone as he slides his other hand to cup the back of your head, pulling you into a suddenly urgent and needy kiss. And you really hate to admit it, but you know you actually missed him. Otherwise you’d never let him kiss you like that or knead you like that. But oh - his lips are so soft, and the way he licks into your mouth makes your head spin as if you’re drunk. You almost allow yourself to get lost in all these sensations when it suddenly dawns on you.

“Swaino, are you fucking crazy?!” you hiss against his mouth, trying to push him back. “We are NOT doing it here. No way!”

“Huh?” he frowns in confusion, meeting your gaze. “Why the hell not?”

“Because there’s plenty of people over here, you dumbass! Someone can see or hear us… And there’s children…”

“Okay, now you’re being ridiculous, darlin’” Swaino raises his eyebrows. “No one’s gonna see us, come on. I locked the door now. And those kids are so fucking loud, I don’t think they’d hear anything even when I make you scream…”

“Ugh. Don’t flatter yourself, T,” you giggle as he kisses down the side of your neck, his beard tickling your skin. “There’s no way I’m gonna scream here in this bathroom, with your entire family right beneath us.”

“Oh yeah?” He chuckles wickedly. “You wanna bet?”

You almost yelp as he swiftly seizes your hips, urging you to sit on the bathroom counter, and drops on his knees between your legs.

“Been thinking of those pretty thighs the whole goddamn day,” he murmurs as he nips on the tender flesh right above the hem of your stocking.

“Oh gosh,” you mewl quietly as he dips his head down to your center, and you feel the warmth of his breath through the thin fabric of your panties. “Oh fuck!..”

Thankfully Swaino’s smart enough to realize you don’t have that much time for teasing, and your panties are quickly pulled down your legs so that he can plunge his tongue between your folds without any barriers. Breathing raggedly and biting your lips, you throw your head back, fingers tangling into his hair, as he devours you like you’re his last meal. He’s a bit messy, but damn, his eagerness is incredibly hot. And when he adds fingers to the mix it’s getting even harder to stay quiet. No, you don’t scream, not really, but the string of gasps and whimpers that escapes you as you come brings a shit-eating grin on his face.

“There ya go, baby girl. Love to hear that.”

Grabbing the strings of his silly cape, you pull him into another heated kiss and he groans into your mouth when your hand finds his crotch

“Sure hope you got some protection on you,” you whisper as you keep massaging him through the coarse fabric of his jeans.

“You know me damn well, sweetheart,” he grins, reaching his back pocket to get the condom.

“You’re such a slutty bastard,” you laugh breathlessly.

“You love it though, huh?”

You don’t answer that. Who the hell needs words right now? When he pushes all the way inside you, it feels so good. The stretch, the pace, the way he grunts into the crook of your neck with each thrust… You already feel this familiar pressure building within your core, your fingers find your clit as you chase your release, Swaino’s cock is throbbing deep inside you, and you’re so, so close!... When someone knocks on the door.

“Uncle Terry?”

Swaino shudders, startled, almost losing his balance, bottles of shampoo, liquid soap and something else fall on the floor with a loud thud.

“Shit, fuck!” he curses.

“Uncle Terry, are you there?..” you hear his niece’s high-pitched voice. “You promised to help us carve that huge pumpkin!”

“Yeah, uh… Just give me a sec here, sweetheart! I-I’ll be right back, okay? Just-just go back downstairs, okay? I’ll be right back!” he shouts in reply, clearly trying not to sound annoyed - you know very well that he doesn’t want to upset the kid.

“Okay!” you hear the girl reply, and for the next few seconds you both don’t move, practically don’t breathe.

“You think she’s gone?” you whisper very quietly.

“I guess,” he shrugs. “You uh… You okay?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Uh huh. I… I think I came though, so uh-” he stutters, face slowly turning red. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him like that, but all of a sudden you feel a wave of inexplicable tenderness towards this man.

“It’s fine, T,” you smile. “Really. You already made me scream after all.”

“Okay,” he lets out a small laugh and helps you get back on your feet with an unexpected gentleness.

“Shit, I think I ruined your Dracula hair,” you snort, as you take a good look at him. “Here, let me fix it…” you bring your fingers to comb through his dark mane.

“T’s okay, I look even sexier like that, right?” he chuckles. “Hey um… You’re in town for… How long?..”

“Planned to stay for a couple of weeks. Why?”

“Just wanted to take you out for dinner or something.”

“Dinner, really?” you raise your eyebrow. “I mean… You really mean dinner, or it’s just a more elegant way to say you wanna fuck?”

“Look, I actually don’t mind both… But yeah, I really meant dinner,” he smiles suddenly softly. “What you think?”

Shit. It’s still Terrance Swaino. He’s still not boyfriend material. Absolutely not. And yet… One dinner won’t hurt, right?..

“Okay, T. I’ll think of it,” you smile as you grab his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “Let’s go get back now. The pumpkin ain’t gonna carve itself.”

Thanks for reading!

[ansbobcar]

EP 20 - The Madl Estate

WORD COUNT. 1610

Link to overview

_ _ _ _ _

Slamming into the office was Kaldo with a letter in hand, and pure unadulterated confusion traced his expression as everyone clocked their heads towards him. “How’d you get invited to the Winter Ball, Rinka?!”

“I did?” Perplexed by his outcry. Until it clicked. “Oh right, I forgot about that. We can discuss it later over some tea. I’ve got reports to check,” she waved him off.

Orter was a member of the rather nouveau riche Madl family. ‘Replacing his brother for the week long stay, he wanted to bring me along. Probably for…’ she stopped her train of thought.

“Please, don’t try to read my mind Team 3, unless you want to listen to me recite the haunting choir tablet again.” It’s not that big of a deal as their employees may think. It’s just a social gathering for aristocrats. Typical things.

“But it’s the Winter Ball, Ms. Ontarin!”

“I doubt it’s the only one.”

“But all the biggest scandals and reveals happen during it!” Receiving a firm smack from a fellow colleague. “I hope you won’t be caught up in it.”

“I’ll be fine,” she replied, flipping over a page. “What won’t be fine is the state of this damn department if you guys slack off. We’ll be gone for a week, so please only contact us if absolutely necessary.”

From beyond the office doors--slightly open than usual--the Desert Cane snickered at the conversation.

_ _ _

The trip to the northern territories had finally arrived as the two of them finished finalising the schedule and concerns for their department. Of course, there was a major question in regards to how they would go there. After all, teleportation spells didn’t cover that distance. Especially for Rinka who seemed to be the more well-rested of the two. Even Kaldo had taken a few days off to travel into a reachable teleporting distance. No carriage had arrived for them which puzzled the others as they waited for the two to say their goodbyes for a while.

Until they appeared, with baskets and brooms in hand.

“R-RINKA WHAT’S THE MEANING OF THIS?!”

Her only argument, “It’s cheaper.”

“Oh. This is actually a good idea Rinka,” Sophina hummed. “You both can get yourselves sick and get out of being perfectionists. I pray for your loss.” How kind, they thought.

Alas, it’s been 4 hours into this flight and they had just entered colder territory, yet the sight of white tops hadn’t set yet as dark pine green painted their view. Minutes pass by with nothing but the sound of the bristles hustling against the wind. The two had tried to chat to little break through but Rinka was the only one who knew the route as he trailed slightly behind her resulting in pure focus. She seemed unfazed by the change in temperature, her posture and position on the broom resembling her sitting on the edge of a table. Nothing has swarmed their way either, or steered them off course. Even the presence of darker clouds didn’t seem to deter her from continuing forward. So he followed suit.

Onwards into the distance. Until sweeping him off his broom was the gushing wind, as droplets cascaded in fury. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Rinka, who successfully pulls him back up with a mere magic spell… the broom unfortunately lost to the wilderness as a simply shield spell is erected onto her broom.

“... apologies,” he murmured, as he rested his head on her shoulder. “Your stamina is the real deal.”

“Just rest, there’s only a few more hours left,” she replied, layering another spell amidst the hushed murmurs of ‘sorry’s as if this has suddenly drained him of his rationale. His head resting with another nuzzle before weighing her.

Although Rinka’s endurance for flight and sustained broom-flying made complete sense, it was still surreal that she hadn’t faltered for even a moment. But to be able to maintain position, direction, and most importantly, the 4 spells she maintained for the comfort and safety of them. The ones that kept the younger man from shivering through a discomforting sleep until the very last stretch of the trip. Surrounded by slabs and grooves, the sight of a large off white block in the distance peaked out from the pine trees.

The map and magical coordinates painted this as the place of their stay.

“Let’s greet them shall we?”

_ _ _

For the dozen servants who stayed to maintain the appearance of such a land, the sight of a single person flying a broom with precision and accuracy to gracefully land in the middle of the front garden filled with geometric hedges carefully maintained, seemed extremely perplexing. The faces were undeniably recognised. Divine Visionaries. 

‘Wasn’t their son supposed to arrive in a carriage in 2 days?’ Words spread through the courtyard as the blonde Blood Cane held onto the broomstick much to the brunette’s disapproval. A smile and laugh was softly heard as he remarked a worry. “Are you sure?”

It was peculiar to see the expressionless Madl etch a sweet smile towards a woman no less. Even less when it was Rinka Ontarin, The Blood Cane. The sudden formation of dirt steps from the balcony had stopped everyone from the sight as a woman, with two lines running parallel down her cheeks, a velvety wine cloak draped over her shoulders as she gracefully descended to them. The wind picking up her styled waves with slight resistance as a smile graced her silver eyes.

“Welcome home, Orter.”

The pristine condition of the winter estate seems ludicrous, considering the lack of servants for such a house as the two walked a step behind the shorter woman. Perhaps it’s due to the personal magics of the servants specialising in the maintenance of this minuscule settlement, she thought. ‘He seems unfazed by this.’

“I hope you had a safe trip, dear.”

“I was in good hands, mother,” he promptly replied. “Rinka won in the Girls’ Cross-Country consecutively.”

“Quite the achievement, I heard Easton’s routes are particularly lengthy for those,” she commented. “Since it’s nearly time for supper, I’ll let you both rest until it’s time. Your rooms are in the east annex if you remember. Clothes have been prepared.”

He only hummed as she left them for another corridor as they continued walking forward. “She’s probably just meeting my father.”

By the time they reached the east annex, the sun loomed as a faint presence in the sky from the windows. They had barely made it in time for the night with their rooms opposing the other from across the hallway. Although expectantly, it was still a sad sight as she held up the delicate yet dust-clobbered dark lace dress placed. In fact, the whole wardrobe seemed to be filled with all sorts of stains, and withered seams.

“How odd,” she murmured.

“What’s odd?”

“Your mother’s taste in clothes is rather gloomy,” unfazed by Orter in a bathrobe at the door. Closing the closet without another word. The state of her guest room seemed uncared for, with sheets still covering the bed, and shadows tracing every crevice through the dark room. He furrowed his eyebrows at the response before he quickly flicked his wand. Cleaning the room in the blink of an eye.

“That’s all you wanted to say?” He replied, holding back a snicker and retort with a click. She only hummed. “Get changed, I’ll show you the bathroom.”

_ _ _

News travelled fast through the building of the sheer obscene. Nobody could believe the young master to take a bath at the same time with his lover. Not only that, they added, “It’s hasn’t even been dinner yet? It’s too rude!”

Yet behind the closed and avoided doors was merely a childish sight. Lathering the shampoo, he began working on cleaning her scalp. For ease and comfort, she leaned her back towards the middle of the bathtub instead of the sides as his fingers ran through her hair which were rather thin towards the back and thicker on the sides. While he was busy, she twiddled with her fingers. No ducks were there either and she didn’t know a spell to make one, shoulders slouched towards a bit more. 

Sensing this, her monologue was interrupted by his voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Is… is this relaxing to you?” It’s unsettling, to be in such a brightly lit room with marbled cold tiles and this bath. Sitting in here, soaking in the suds…

“Yes it is,” he replied. “There’s nobody and nothing to bother us.” To have no one else here seems like a miracle as her head was gently pulled back to be rinsed. “So please try to relax as well, you’re…”

‘She dozed off.’

_ _ _

By the time the two were escorted to the dining hall, dressed a bit too much for what seemed to be a singular meal, neither of them expected the most jarring ‘mystery box’ aspect of the dinner. They took their seats and greetings were held. Both parents were without any strands of grey in their hair, some signs of an anti-aging serum seems to have been used as well, analysing their features passively through their greetings.

“I hope you will enjoy your meal.”

With a simple lift of the lid, she immediately picks up a fork and knife to cut through her steak. It’s soft. Too soft. “I heard a rumour that you preferred your steak rare,” his mother commented. It’s uncooked.

“Thank you for considering my preferences,” she held back her exasperation, the knife now burning through the steak. “But I do prefer my steak well done.”

_ _ _

Winter ball arc is a GO! It's only 3 episodes long like most of my arcs. My favourite chapter in it is the next because... yessir :D