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withered-blossoms · 2 months ago

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Not Today, Solomon!

Also titled: Pastries and Chaos

CHARACTERS: Beel, Satan, Luke (strictly platonic), Simeon

Ingredients mentioned from the recipe by: “Heart-Shaped Cookies” by Mari on allrecipes

Recipe link: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/278152/heart-shaped-cookies/

Dividers by @cafekitsune

A/N: This fic is completely SFW and is my part for the 2025 Valentine's event held by @obeymevents. I’m collaborating with the artist @sheepthatgobaa.

this fic could be either romantic or platonic. Except Luke, who's part is strictly platonic.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Main Masterlist

“This soup is delicious, y’all should try some. Hey, could you pass me the salt? Wait why are you trying to pass Levi– was he one-upped in game again? Please don’t actually yeet him across the table –”

“~OH I’M A GUMMY BEAR, YES I’M A GUMMY BEAR~”

“What in the skibidi toilet is that caveman music –”

“Oh wait, I have a call to answer, gimme a sec. Also, I ain’t hearing it from someone born in the Ice Age.”

“Does anyone need some ice for that burn?”

“I think we all do.”

“Ahem. MC, no phones are allowed during dinner.”

“Sorry, I forgot to take it out of my pocket. I won’t do it next time boss man, so please let me off the hook this time.”

A begrudging wave of the gloved hand was more than enough for the call to be answered in your room. Matching your steps to the catchy beat of the music, you pulled the device out of their pocket and glanced at the caller ID.

‘Sussy boom shaka laka.’

A raised eyebrow was all your DDD got in return. Solomon does not usually call, preferring to stick to texting, much less at such an hour. The reason behind the call certainly does intrigue one, and knowing our chaos-loving sheep, you just had to pick up and find out what flames you will be fanning this time.

Unbeknownst to you, dinner ended earlier than expected. Thankfully, your leftovers were kept by a certain sweetheart who took it upon himself to deliver it to you. Beelzebub couldn’t help it; he did not want the human to go hungry. After allowing his hands to swipe a few bags of snacks for sharing, his feet led him to your room and that was how the information made its way to our resident sweetheart.

“Hey Monsolo, what’s up?”

Hold his food. Solomon was calling? Was there something up?

“Yeah, I’d love to come over and help! Baking with you does not sound half-bad.” You had joked, but your mirthful laughter sounded more like alarm bells in Beel’s head.

Were you out of your mind? Don’t get him wrong now, he trusts your culinary skills with every fibre of his being. But the other human? Not so much. Besides, with Solomon’s skills, you would not even know if he had steered the recipe in the direction he wanted. Just thinking about you becoming Solomon’s guinea pig gave him goosebumps; he wanted you alive and well, not turned into another species, literally or figuratively!

Nope. Sorry darling, but not on his watch.

But he wasn’t one to be rash or jump into conclusions. So, the ginger stood there, resisting the urge to munch on the chips he had for fear of disturbing you and outing himself. The others passing him by only gave a few curious glances, but knew better than to disturb their second youngest when he was so deep in contemplation.

After all, curiosity kills the cat. But there will always be that one cat who is not afraid of finding out the truth.

That cat also happened to have an amount of stealth complimentary to his curiosity.

“Why are you standing there? Are they not finished with their phone call yet?”

Fiery locks smacked Satan in the face and he spluttered indignantly. If it weren’t for the sincere apology on Beel’s face and your ongoing phone call, he probably would have chided his brother. But then again, he was somewhat at fault as well, so the annoyance was reduced to a subtle eye-twitch.

Unfortunately, the commotion seemed to have caught your attention. You knew the brothers would prevent you from going to Purgatory Hall if they found out Solomon’s invitation, even more-so when it was for Valentine’s Day. With a few hasty agreements to the date and time, you ended the phone call and swung open your door, quirking an eyebrow at the duo before you.

A few awkward moments of silence passed before Satan coughed into his fist. “We were worried that you would feel hungry later, so Beel brought you your leftovers and some snacks.” A nudge snapped Beel out of his worry and the taller of the two nodded, handing you the plate. “Hunger is neither a comfortable nor good feeling. If you are still hungry after dinner, feel free to have some of the snack I brought.”

You did not know just how much of the conversation they heard, but judging from the nonchalant stares you were getting, they most likely missed the whole thing.

Thank the high heavens– oh wait, wrong place. Oops.

Either way, as much as you loved chaos, you’ve already had your dosage for today. If peace was to be delivered to you on a silver platter as it was right now, you’d take it. But seeing how they declined entering your room, they probably knew a thing or two.

Oh well. Considering the fact that the two aren’t freaking out, they probably don’t know much. It seems that your secret hangout was, well, still a secret. You’d take any chance to hang out with the Purgatory Hall gang you got; it’s been a long time since y’all gathered after all (without the others, that is).

On the other end of the line, Luke was huffing at Solomon. The dear had planned on inviting you to a baking session on Valentine’s Day, hoping to spend more time with you and give you a special batch. He even had the details planned to a tee! All he had to do now was ask, but he needed to phrase it in a way that would keep the surprise a secret. Then a certain sorcerer just had to waltz in and ‘coincidentally’ overhear him practising his lines, which led to the conversation above.

“See? That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

“Easy for you to say! I was about to invite them.”

The gall of him to ruffle Luke’s hair after taking his credit. Despite the annoyance in his voice, Solomon knew that the child was not furious, just a little miffed. He doesn’t want to face a mini-Simeon.

And this is why you should only mess around with angels, kids. They are forgiving enough to not detonate in your face. /j

A certain blonde sneezed. The cat in his arms jumped slightly but was quickly soothed.

Disclaimer: For legal reasons though, please do not mess around with anyone, regardless of their species. Solomon would say otherwise, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

At least the cat was not out of the bag yet, and that was more than enough for Luke. He knew that Solomon had no malicious intentions, but it does not change the fact that he had entered the kitchen.

There was no way Luke was going to let this kitchen terror (affectionate) bake with him.

“Didn’t you say you had a gift to prepare? Tomorrow’s Valentine Day, it would not be good if it wasn’t prepared in time.”

As if Peepaw™ couldn’t see through his attempts to chase him out. “Of course I have one for my adorable apprentice. Now that you mentioned it, it does need some finishing touches. Be careful when baking, Luke.” The last thing Luke saw was his cape disappearing into the corner, and a sigh of relief sounded through the kitchen.

“Thank the high heavens…. Ah I have to prepare MC’s cookies!”

Back at the House of Lamentation, the most unlikely duo was holding a meeting to preserve your tastebuds and probably your life. It was not often that the fourth and sixth hold meetings, but all bets are completely off when the resident sheep was involved.

“I didn’t manage to get the time, though the destination is undoubtedly Purgatory Hall.”

“It matters not. All we have to do is to infiltrate the enemy base earlier. Think you can get up?”

“Of course. Anything to save MC.”

Enjoy the rest of your day, dear little sheep. You’ll need all the peace you can get before the big day.

The hours passed by and eventually, the ringing of an alarm clock sliced through the silence in Purgatory Hall. The rustle of bedsheet was followed by the pitter patter of feet, a sweet angel child eager to prepare his gift. In another room, his guardian had also woken up due to his superb hearing and wanted to know what Luke was up to. Luke is by no means a late riser, but it was still rather rare for him to wake up at the crack of dawn. Curiosity decreed that he was not to leave the waking world, so the brunette could only get ready for the day.

In a short while, the ingredients were fully prepped. “White sugar, unsalted butter…egg, vanilla extract… that should be all. I’ll preheat the oven.”

“Is that for MC?”

“What– Simeon, you startled me!”

“My bad, shall I give you a hand? I know you’ve taken time into consideration, but if you need help, I’ll be happy to lend a hand.”

Luke shook his head, “Thank you for the offer, but I wish to bake these personally.” He knew Simeon would understand; these were for a certain chaos-loving sheep after all. Besides, Simeon had already planned on watching from the sidelines, having prepared his own presents. He was rather content with watching Luke flit about the kitchen, not getting to witness the child in his element very often, mostly due to how busy he himself was or because he’d usually have a hand in the process.

But what they weren’t prepared for was the appearance of an unexpected demon duo.

You see, Satan had slept surprisingly early the previous night, allowing him to wake up as planned. Beel, on the other hand, was a morning demon who loved his morning jogs. Once each had gotten ready and eaten breakfast, they set off to prevent a tragedy from befalling your tastebuds.

‘MC’s tastebuds rescue mission’ was in order, which was also why the angels were thankful for their strong hearts.

“Dear heavens above, it’s one surprise after another today.”

“Why are you two even here at this time???? And leave my batter alone!”

“Sorry. It smells really good.”

“Apologies for the sudden appearance, but we have to save MC’s tongue. Where’s Solomon anyway?”

“He’s still asleep thankfully, but what was that about MC’s tongue?”

Satan took up the job of explaining how they had overheard Solomon inviting MC over for a baking session and was worried that he’d have unrestricted access to the kitchen. As strong as you and your immune system were, they’d rather not subject you to weird experiments.

Simeon was now in charge of passing Beel some extra pastries they had so that Luke could bake in peace. “I see, no wonder you were both in such a hurry to get here. However, worry not, either Luke or I will be around to provide some assistance (read: surveillance) should the need arise.” The ginger had taken them gratefully, knowing how important the cookies being prepared were to Luke just from their shapes alone.

The younger angel had taken to using heart-shape cutters, his precision and skills shining through even more for this special batch. Even with Simeon with him, he knew he had to speed the process up. It was not known how long the other pastries could keep Beel satisfied, and he doubted that the stock of the local 24-hour eateries could last long either.

If Luke was previously a somewhat fast baker, Simeon was now sure that Luke had broken the three realm’s record. Even for an angel and two demons, it was now rather dizzying to watch the sweet child do his thing. So, the other three settled for some idle chat and ordering takeout instead.

It was not long before a pleasant smell wafted through the kitchen and a growl resounded. Despite the takeout laid out on the dining table, Luke hurried to pack your cookies away and prepared the other ingredients needed for your baking session later. There were also pastries he’d prepared in advance for today’s hangout, though he’d take those out when your arrival draws near.

Thankfully, they had enough leftovers to last till the takeout was delivered. The food was quickly finished, even more so since Satan grabbed a few bites. As large as the order was, with his otherworldly digestive abilities, Beel was soon hungry. Looking at the various other pastries laid out on the table, he could not help but want a few.

Yours happened to look the most appetising.

Luke was rather firm about keeping your cookies for you and you only, but his resolve quickly crumbled when Beel's puppy eyes landed on him. He couldn’t bear to see such a guilt-ridden expression on his… friend’s face, not when Beel had been rather kind to him. It started off as one cookie, then the second and third. Luke was thankful that he had the hindsight to bake a few extra, but that was about it. He really had to leave some for you, or his efforts would go to waste.

The seconds ticked by as the friendly stare-down between Luke and Beel continued. With no intention to harm Luke in a hunger-induced frenzy, Beel easily reached over Luke, hoping to have some of the others. Luke hurried to bring the pastries away, huffing in disbelief. How dare they take advantage of his height? He is still growing and he’ll be taller than all of them one day for sure!

Satan tried guiding Beel away with a hand on his shoulder. “Beel, MC is almost here. We should hurry before they discover us.” Simeon nodded in agreement, the hand behind his back gently ushering Luke towards the refrigerator, “It wouldn’t do for MC to find out that you’ve overheard their phone call. Intentionally or not, it would still appear rude.”

“I think it’s already too late for that.”

“Solomon! Don’t scare us like that!”

“I’m hungry…”

“What do you mean too late?”

“I don’t see MC anywhere–”

“Ara ara what do we have here? Good morning peeps. Will you be baking with us as well, Luke? Looking at those cookies make me hungry…”

“Good morning MC! As you can see, most were already prepared in advance, though there is still one last batch to be baked. Solomon will be in charge of uh… supervising!”

“What a shame. I was hoping to show MC the new recipe I had acquired lately.”

“Worry not. No one does supervision better than you. Right, Beel?” Satan nudged his younger brother who nodded and tried to reach for another cookie. “Yeah, you’ve got the most skills when it comes to that.”

“Are the both of you calling me a stalker? Also, leave some for us please.”

“We never said that.”

“Sure thing. Also, we weren’t.”

Simeon chuckled. Everyone was the same as always and that puts his mind at ease. “MC does not have much experience baking here. It will be best to have someone familiar watch over them just in case I have to go out.” Solomon gave himself a second to think and agreed with Simeon’s plan. Someone’s gotta watch over his adorable apprentice and he’d rather not lose such a valuable taste-tester– he meant friend.

Of course. Leave it to the gorgeous, breathtaking, stunning, jaw-dropping, head-turning (sorry I’ll stop now) Simeon to have the beauty and brains to boot.

Meanwhile, Luke was trying to stop Beel from unconsciously consuming the raw ingredients (again). No food poisoning cases for today, please. It does not matter how strong Beel physically was, Luke did not want to have to call the medical services.

Satan was helping him hold the ginger back and ordering more takeout.

Solomon was watching them as if they were some sort of comedy show.

Simeon was sighing and mitigating the situation as always.

You?

You were metaphorically offering Solomon some popcorn. “Like master, like apprentice,” they said. It probably would not be long till the brothers and consequently the palace residents were lured over too.

You were definitely going to enjoy today.

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