#wither writes

[withered-blossoms]

Not Today, Solomon!

Also titled: Pastries and Chaos

CHARACTERS: Beel, Satan, Luke (strictly platonic), Simeon

Ingredients mentioned from the recipe by: “Heart-Shaped Cookies” by Mari on allrecipes

Recipe link: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/278152/heart-shaped-cookies/

Dividers by @cafekitsune

A/N: This fic is completely SFW and is my part for the 2025 Valentine's event held by @obeymevents. I’m collaborating with the artist @sheepthatgobaa.

this fic could be either romantic or platonic. Except Luke, who's part is strictly platonic.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Main Masterlist

“This soup is delicious, y’all should try some. Hey, could you pass me the salt? Wait why are you trying to pass Levi– was he one-upped in game again? Please don’t actually yeet him across the table –”

“~OH I’M A GUMMY BEAR, YES I’M A GUMMY BEAR~”

“What in the skibidi toilet is that caveman music –”

 “Oh wait, I have a call to answer, gimme a sec. Also, I ain’t hearing it from someone born in the Ice Age.”

“Does anyone need some ice for that burn?”

“I think we all do.”

“Ahem. MC, no phones are allowed during dinner.”

“Sorry, I forgot to take it out of my pocket. I won’t do it next time boss man, so please let me off the hook this time.”

A begrudging wave of the gloved hand was more than enough for the call to be answered in your room. Matching your steps to the catchy beat of the music, you pulled the device out of their pocket and glanced at the caller ID.

‘Sussy boom shaka laka.’

A raised eyebrow was all your DDD got in return. Solomon does not usually call, preferring to stick to texting, much less at such an hour. The reason behind the call certainly does intrigue one, and knowing our chaos-loving sheep, you just had to pick up and find out what flames you will be fanning this time.

Unbeknownst to you, dinner ended earlier than expected. Thankfully, your leftovers were kept by a certain sweetheart who took it upon himself to deliver it to you. Beelzebub couldn’t help it; he did not want the human to go hungry. After allowing his hands to swipe a few bags of snacks for sharing, his feet led him to your room and that was how the information made its way to our resident sweetheart.

“Hey Monsolo, what’s up?”

Hold his food. Solomon was calling? Was there something up? 

“Yeah, I’d love to come over and help! Baking with you does not sound half-bad.” You had joked, but your mirthful laughter sounded more like alarm bells in Beel’s head.

Were you out of your mind? Don’t get him wrong now, he trusts your culinary skills with every fibre of his being. But the other human? Not so much. Besides, with Solomon’s skills, you would not even know if he had steered the recipe in the direction he wanted. Just thinking about you becoming Solomon’s guinea pig gave him goosebumps; he wanted you alive and well, not turned into another species, literally or figuratively!

Nope. Sorry darling, but not on his watch.

But he wasn’t one to be rash or jump into conclusions. So, the ginger stood there, resisting the urge to munch on the chips he had for fear of disturbing you and outing himself. The others passing him by only gave a few curious glances, but knew better than to disturb their second youngest when he was so deep in contemplation.

After all, curiosity kills the cat. But there will always be that one cat who is not afraid of finding out the truth.

That cat also happened to have an amount of stealth complimentary to his curiosity.

“Why are you standing there? Are they not finished with their phone call yet?”

Fiery locks smacked Satan in the face and he spluttered indignantly. If it weren’t for the sincere apology on Beel’s face and your ongoing phone call, he probably would have chided his brother. But then again, he was somewhat at fault as well, so the annoyance was reduced to a subtle eye-twitch.

Unfortunately, the commotion seemed to have caught your attention. You knew the brothers would prevent you from going to Purgatory Hall if they found out Solomon’s invitation, even more-so when it was for Valentine’s Day. With a few hasty agreements to the date and time, you ended the phone call and swung open your door, quirking an eyebrow at the duo before you.

A few awkward moments of silence passed before Satan coughed into his fist. “We were worried that you would feel hungry later, so Beel brought you your leftovers and some snacks.” A nudge snapped Beel out of his worry and the taller of the two nodded, handing you the plate. “Hunger is neither a comfortable nor good feeling. If you are still hungry after dinner, feel free to have some of the snack I brought.”

You did not know just how much of the conversation they heard, but judging from the nonchalant stares you were getting, they most likely missed the whole thing.

Thank the high heavens– oh wait, wrong place. Oops.

Either way, as much as you loved chaos, you’ve already had your dosage for today. If peace was to be delivered to you on a silver platter as it was right now, you’d take it. But seeing how they declined entering your room, they probably knew a thing or two.

Oh well. Considering the fact that the two aren’t freaking out, they probably don’t know much. It seems that your secret hangout was, well, still a secret. You’d take any chance to hang out with the Purgatory Hall gang you got; it’s been a long time since y’all gathered after all (without the others, that is).

On the other end of the line, Luke was huffing at Solomon. The dear had planned on inviting you to a baking session on Valentine’s Day, hoping to spend more time with you and give you a special batch. He even had the details planned to a tee! All he had to do now was ask, but he needed to phrase it in a way that would keep the surprise a secret. Then a certain sorcerer just had to waltz in and ‘coincidentally’ overhear him practising his lines, which led to the conversation above.

“See? That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

“Easy for you to say! I was about to invite them.”

The gall of him to ruffle Luke’s hair after taking his credit. Despite the annoyance in his voice, Solomon knew that the child was not furious, just a little miffed. He doesn’t want to face a mini-Simeon.

And this is why you should only mess around with angels, kids. They are forgiving enough to not detonate in your face. /j

A certain blonde sneezed. The cat in his arms jumped slightly but was quickly soothed.

Disclaimer: For legal reasons though, please do not mess around with anyone, regardless of their species. Solomon would say otherwise, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

At least the cat was not out of the bag yet, and that was more than enough for Luke. He knew that Solomon had no malicious intentions, but it does not change the fact that he had entered the kitchen.

There was no way Luke was going to let this kitchen terror (affectionate) bake with him.

“Didn’t you say you had a gift to prepare? Tomorrow’s Valentine Day, it would not be good if it wasn’t prepared in time.”

As if Peepaw™ couldn’t see through his attempts to chase him out. “Of course I have one for my adorable apprentice. Now that you mentioned it, it does need some finishing touches. Be careful when baking, Luke.” The last thing Luke saw was his cape disappearing into the corner, and a sigh of relief sounded through the kitchen.

“Thank the high heavens…. Ah I have to prepare MC’s cookies!”

Back at the House of Lamentation, the most unlikely duo was holding a meeting to preserve your tastebuds and probably your life. It was not often that the fourth and sixth hold meetings, but all bets are completely off when the resident sheep was involved.

“I didn’t manage to get the time, though the destination is undoubtedly Purgatory Hall.”

“It matters not. All we have to do is to infiltrate the enemy base earlier. Think you can get up?”

“Of course. Anything to save MC.”

Enjoy the rest of your day, dear little sheep. You’ll need all the peace you can get before the big day.

The hours passed by and eventually, the ringing of an alarm clock sliced through the silence in Purgatory Hall. The rustle of bedsheet was followed by the pitter patter of feet, a sweet angel child eager to prepare his gift. In another room, his guardian had also woken up due to his superb hearing and wanted to know what Luke was up to. Luke is by no means a late riser, but it was still rather rare for him to wake up at the crack of dawn. Curiosity decreed that he was not to leave the waking world, so the brunette could only get ready for the day.

In a short while, the ingredients were fully prepped. “White sugar, unsalted butter…egg, vanilla extract… that should be all. I’ll preheat the oven.”

“Is that for MC?”

“What– Simeon, you startled me!”

“My bad, shall I give you a hand? I know you’ve taken time into consideration, but if you need help, I’ll be happy to lend a hand.”

Luke shook his head, “Thank you for the offer, but I wish to bake these personally.” He knew Simeon would understand; these were for a certain chaos-loving sheep after all. Besides, Simeon had already planned on watching from the sidelines, having prepared his own presents. He was rather content with watching Luke flit about the kitchen, not getting to witness the child in his element very often, mostly due to how busy he himself was or because he’d usually have a hand in the process.

But what they weren’t prepared for was the appearance of an unexpected demon duo.

You see, Satan had slept surprisingly early the previous night, allowing him to wake up as planned. Beel, on the other hand, was a morning demon who loved his morning jogs. Once each had gotten ready and eaten breakfast, they set off to prevent a tragedy from befalling your tastebuds.

‘MC’s tastebuds rescue mission’ was in order, which was also why the angels were thankful for their strong hearts.

“Dear heavens above, it’s one surprise after another today.”

“Why are you two even here at this time???? And leave my batter alone!”

“Sorry. It smells really good.”

“Apologies for the sudden appearance, but we have to save MC’s tongue. Where’s Solomon anyway?”

“He’s still asleep thankfully, but what was that about MC’s tongue?”

Satan took up the job of explaining how they had overheard Solomon inviting MC over for a baking session and was worried that he’d have unrestricted access to the kitchen. As strong as you and your immune system were, they’d rather not subject you to weird experiments.

Simeon was now in charge of passing Beel some extra pastries they had so that Luke could bake in peace. “I see, no wonder you were both in such a hurry to get here. However, worry not, either Luke or I will be around to provide some assistance (read: surveillance) should the need arise.” The ginger had taken them gratefully, knowing how important the cookies being prepared were to Luke just from their shapes alone.

The younger angel had taken to using heart-shape cutters, his precision and skills shining through even more for this special batch. Even with Simeon with him, he knew he had to speed the process up. It was not known how long the other pastries could keep Beel satisfied, and he doubted that the stock of the local 24-hour eateries could last long either.

If Luke was previously a somewhat fast baker, Simeon was now sure that Luke had broken the three realm’s record. Even for an angel and two demons, it was now rather dizzying to watch the sweet child do his thing. So, the other three settled for some idle chat and ordering takeout instead.

It was not long before a pleasant smell wafted through the kitchen and a growl resounded. Despite the takeout laid out on the dining table, Luke hurried to pack your cookies away and prepared the other ingredients needed for your baking session later. There were also pastries he’d prepared in advance for today’s hangout, though he’d take those out when your arrival draws near.

Thankfully, they had enough leftovers to last till the takeout was delivered. The food was quickly finished, even more so since Satan grabbed a few bites. As large as the order was, with his otherworldly digestive abilities, Beel was soon hungry. Looking at the various other pastries laid out on the table, he could not help but want a few.

Yours happened to look the most appetising.

Luke was rather firm about keeping your cookies for you and you only, but his resolve quickly crumbled when Beel's puppy eyes landed on him. He couldn’t bear to see such a guilt-ridden expression on his… friend’s face, not when Beel had been rather kind to him. It started off as one cookie, then the second and third. Luke was thankful that he had the hindsight to bake a few extra, but that was about it. He really had to leave some for you, or his efforts would go to waste.

The seconds ticked by as the friendly stare-down between Luke and Beel continued. With no intention to harm Luke in a hunger-induced frenzy, Beel easily reached over Luke, hoping to have some of the others. Luke hurried to bring the pastries away, huffing in disbelief. How dare they take advantage of his height? He is still growing and he’ll be taller than all of them one day for sure!

Satan tried guiding Beel away with a hand on his shoulder. “Beel, MC is almost here. We should hurry before they discover us.” Simeon nodded in agreement, the hand behind his back gently ushering Luke towards the refrigerator, “It wouldn’t do for MC to find out that you’ve overheard their phone call. Intentionally or not, it would still appear rude.”

“I think it’s already too late for that.”

“Solomon! Don’t scare us like that!”

“I’m hungry…”

“What do you mean too late?”

“I don’t see MC anywhere–”

“Ara ara what do we have here? Good morning peeps. Will you be baking with us as well, Luke? Looking at those cookies make me hungry…”

“Good morning MC! As you can see, most were already prepared in advance, though there is still one last batch to be baked. Solomon will be in charge of uh… supervising!”

“What a shame. I was hoping to show MC the new recipe I had acquired lately.”

“Worry not. No one does supervision better than you. Right, Beel?” Satan nudged his younger brother who nodded and tried to reach for another cookie. “Yeah, you’ve got the most skills when it comes to that.”

“Are the both of you calling me a stalker? Also, leave some for us please.”

“We never said that.”

“Sure thing. Also, we weren’t.”

Simeon chuckled. Everyone was the same as always and that puts his mind at ease. “MC does not have much experience baking here. It will be best to have someone familiar watch over them just in case I have to go out.” Solomon gave himself a second to think and agreed with Simeon’s plan. Someone’s gotta watch over his adorable apprentice and he’d rather not lose such a valuable taste-tester– he meant friend.

Of course. Leave it to the gorgeous, breathtaking, stunning, jaw-dropping, head-turning (sorry I’ll stop now) Simeon to have the beauty and brains to boot.

Meanwhile, Luke was trying to stop Beel from unconsciously consuming the raw ingredients (again). No food poisoning cases for today, please. It does not matter how strong Beel physically was, Luke did not want to have to call the medical services.

Satan was helping him hold the ginger back and ordering more takeout.

Solomon was watching them as if they were some sort of comedy show.

Simeon was sighing and mitigating the situation as always.

You?

You were metaphorically offering Solomon some popcorn. “Like master, like apprentice,” they said. It probably would not be long till the brothers and consequently the palace residents were lured over too.

You were definitely going to enjoy today.

[witheredtoashes]

hold on just have to say

I love this even more because one, plague doctors had masks like that because they stuffed herbs and FLOWERS into the beaks of the mask to well,, mask the scent of disease and rotting bodies. Cause listen, the bodies don't just start to stink once they're dead, all those weeping sores and sweat and disease will build up and REEK long before they're dead. Also why it was good then AND good now to open the windows for someone who's sick to keep the air fresh, and get rid of pathogens hanging in the air too, instead of recycling into the sick person. And BATHING, it cools the body, or at least washes away that sweat and grime and all that dead pathogen shit you sweat out, and it gives your body less to worry about fighting so it can spend energy on the important stuff. Same with changing sheets and clothes- sitting in your own infection cesspool will NOT help.

Get yourself clean, and not constantly reinfecting yourself via your environment, and shit goes a lot easier.

TWO, this is great, because it insinuates that while Aziraphale is granting last rites and forgiveness, crowley is trying to help. Sure, he can tell his superiors that he's working on spreading it more, BUT

Plague doctors were the doctors that tended to those sick with the plague. its in the name. Either they had it and survived so were unlikely to get sick again, or just.. hadnt gotten it yet. They tended to the sick because in some way, they were protected or better faced against the plague, and were less likely to die than the average joe. It saved people, because they didn't have to replace doctors as often and expose more, y'know?

BUT, because they're specifically for the plague, they go house to house of those infected with the plague and specifically care for them. Not those that were healthy, as far as I know. It isolated the disease and limited the spread.

So CROWLEY doing this, seeing as he can't get sick or maybe even spread it, is actively saving some other person's life who'd be a doctor in his place. And he's tending to the sick- trying to alleviate pain, diagnosing those with the plague and isolating them, even ensuring the bodies were handled with proper precautions and burned to limit the spread further.

He's trying to address the root cause of the problem and stop it, vs dealing with the aftermath and making the afterlife better. He's trying to keep them ALIVE. And honestly I love that concept very much

two very mysterious fellas talking about pestilence in hushed voices

tweeter rq for plague doctor crowley and priest aziraphale <333

[rapidhighway]

my love for him is stronger than any other force in the universe

[woof-squiggles]

nitten adoption day!

(psst, you can fill out an adoption form here)

[swhhdr-wthhr]

i know i haven't uploaded a new chapter for this fic in over half a year... and i probably won't any time soon... but here's some lore explained w/ virgil

[bluerose5]

Don't mind me. I'm constantly thinking of an au where Mr. Astarion "You're only the first person who I truly care for" Ancunín actually shows more emotion at durge's death than what we get in-game. I can understand why the limitations, but that doesn't mean I have to accept them at such a crucial point of durge's story. I mean, it doesn't even have to be overly sappy, but I want that Dorian Pavus "I knew you would break my heart, you bloody bastard" type of energy. I want that cold chill of realization to be felt the second Astarion hears durge's heart stop. Give me that moment where he's on his knees, shaking durge's lifeless body, cradling them against him as he rocks them back and forth, shaking his head in denial as each sob grows more intense until it's just a constant scream of "noNoNO!!!" Because the gods never dared to help him before. Of course it would be a god that robs him of his love now.

Give me that point when the Emperor tries to command Astarion to take the Netherstones and leave, only for Astarion to tell it to shut the fuck up because he's not leaving without them.

Give me that broken whisper of, "We were supposed to be free. Together." as he is faced with the fact that they're not coming back.

[a03heralding]

Bg3 blunt rotation headcanons:

Karlach: does not stop fucking laughing. She’s def wheezing at a joke she overheard in a lesbian bar three and a half years ago while in the middle of a sentence. The type who starts a story and ends up laughing so hard she can’t finish it.

Halsin: mellow as hell, is always encouraging the group to go for a nice walk somewhere while stoned to shit. Will he pass out or will he be caressing the flowers in his backyard? No one knows.

Shadowheart: Sis is asleep after a joint or a few hits from the bong. Is likely sleeping on Lae’zel’s shoulder with a blanket around her. We love her for that tho bc she looks so cute.

Jaheira: she is forreal trying to tell you that we’re all living in someone’s sims save or how aliens made the pyramids. Also always pulls up to the session at the most random times.

Lae’zel: when she does smoke she usually ends up tripping the fuck out and is staring at the wall like a dog that’s accidentally eaten an edible. Doesn’t partake anymore but will come and chill and act as Shart’s personal resting post.

Astarion: the one who is chatting the most shit, probably has the joint in a cigarette holder like curella de’vil. The main source of Karlach’s laughter. Is also constantly asking for Nicki Minaj songs to be added to the Spotify queue.

Wyll: straight up vibes, is probably hogging the snacks to himself tho but he’s busting jokes and laughing with Karlach about stupid shit

Gale: the person in charge of the playlist and the only one who can actually roll. He is very particular about the music bc he believes it sets the mood for the high. Is constantly denying Astarion’s request to play Chun li but puts on random shit like khazakstani jazz

Minthara: enabling Astarion’s shit talking and spilling the piping hot tea. The least faded out of all of them (except lae). Has a screenshot folder that she shows astarion so they can be shady.

Aylin: she’s productive when she’s stoned, is likely cooking something or has gone for a jog/ doing a task while wearing her socks/ Birkenstock combo

Isobel: the mom friend who is making sure everyone is drinking water and is getting fresh air while fried.

Withers: the za dealer. You have to go to his house and he only sells a min of 6gs at a time. Usually chilling and trying to hide his weed plants from the cops bc his neighbours are snitches ngl

Minsc and boo (sry I be forgetting): Brings his hamster to the function bc he doesn't want him to be lonely and believes that his best bud deserves a toke as well. Boo is a literal fucking menace and bites those who object to giving him any. There is literally always an argument bc of this but Minsc is ready to fight for his child.

[racke7]

Ectoplasm and Jason Todd

Danny is wandering around Gotham (visiting, chasing a ghost, running from GIW, attending college, etc) and stumbles across Jason.

Jason who is flaring his ecto-signature like a madman (is he trying to get into trouble?).

Danny drags the guy into a nearby alley to give the guy some kind of crash-course on how not to do that.

Jason isn't sure why this guy grabbed him and dragged him into an alley, but if it's a fight he wants, Jason would be able to fight more freely in an alley, so he doesn't struggle. (Does he know that Jason is Red Hood? Does he think that Jason is a random civilian? Is it just him, or does this guy have really cold hands?)

Jason isn't sure why this guy is now trying to... ask him to meditate? The fuck is going on? But if it's not a fight, then... maybe it's fine to just listen to the weirdo? Taking a few deep breaths isn't going to hurt him.

Danny is very proud of himself for guiding the ecto-flaring guy through how to not flare his ecto-signature. He's such a good teacher.

And then Jason collapses.

Turns out, Jason has been using his anger to create a feedback-loop that artificially raises his ectoplasm-levels.

Ghosts need ectoplasm to live, but they'll also produce ectoplasm when feeling strong emotions. For most ghosts, this a bit like saying "everyone needs a good cry every now and then". For Jason, he's been basically aiming a gun at his own face for the adrenaline-rush. Constantly.

So, Danny is now holding onto a barely-conscious person who desperately needs more ectoplasm. As in, this is a medical emergency, and every second probably counts.

Danny, being that he wasn't planning on needing to carry around some kind of ectoplasm-container at all times (who the fuck does that? His parents, that's who), is now desperately trying to problem-solve this.

Danny realizes that, actually, even in his human form? Danny has a lot of ectoplasm in his body. Enough that he could probably save this guy by... feeding him his blood.

Cue intimately sexy reverse-vampire scene.

And oh boy, if Danny's blood doesn't taste fantastic to Jason's ecto-starved self.

[hoahoahoahoahoa]

I'm sorry but I simply do not accept that Edward doesn't like 60s or 70s music. I know the bit's playing on him being a Super Serious guy but you're really gonna tell me Edward wasn't excited exploring jazz fusion? Prog rock would've been at least hit-or-miss for him.

I would believe he holds a grudge because of the rise of bubblegum pop and disco or whatever. Fine. But tbh it's way more likely that he was half joking, half being a pretentious little hipster in front of his crush when he wrote those years off

[made-nondescript]

s1 fwhip and sausage. gay. thank you (for the “tell me what to draw” post)

have some fic fanart for "to be there to be loved" by one of the authors ever @anonymousacres! i did not set OUT to draw fic fanart. but i started doodling for this one and apparently that fic was bouncing around in my brain like crazy so now here we are. very good fic!!!!! read it perhaps ;O

more fic specific art i dont like as much below cut

^ for some baffling reason all the color is one layer. whyd i do that? like really why.

[withered-blossoms]

SWEET DREAMS

This fic is entirely SFW.

General and trigger warning: mentions of taking one's life (metaphorically, a mere saying), mentions of kissing and nipping

Characs: Xiao from Genshin Impact only. Reader is gender-neutral.

A/N: This has been in my drafts for months or maybe even a year, who knows? But I’ll just release it as a little birthday gift to myself and anyone who’d like this present. For more info on Xiao’s lore because some important info won’t be translated accurately or fully from Chinese to English, check out the post “Xiao's bird and dance symbolism: Lost in Translation” by Aloice on Reddit and my fic will make more sense! I also got the mythical and religious information from that post! (Link below)

If y’all are confused as to why Xiao’s character here is so “mellow” (compared to his voice in the EN dub) I’ll probably make a post on my views of his charac and discuss / talk about how I personally see him :D

The song recommendations in this post are to set the mood / to give y’all an insight on the songs I listened to and got inspiration from. Y’all might see more of such recommendations in my future fics so feel free to check them out via their links below!

Link to Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Impact/comments/mtn7u4/xiaos_bird_and_dance_symbolism_lost_in_translation/

Song recommendation for reading this post (English subtitles available):

坠落星空 (zhui luo xing kong) by 小星星 Aurora (xiao xing xing)

AKA Falling stars / Falling Into The Stars by Little Star Aurora

Link to song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEdm9x9mcW0

"Say, Xiao, what exactly do sweet dreams taste like??"

Cutting through the soothing silence with your voice was never your goal, but the curiosity burning within you had become unbearable, though it would seem that the male didn't mind having his peace disturbed.

Upon hearing the melodious sound, the yaksha turned his intense gaze away from the face of the mortal sitting beside him and raised his head as he tried his best to formulate a satisfactory answer to quench that thirst for knowledge. From your point of view though, it seemed like he was searching the moon for an answer.  

And you had to admit— the sight before you was breathtaking, to the point where you no longer wished for an answer, but rather for him to take his time in getting one.

"I would say that the taste of Almond Tofu bears the most resemblance." He muttered after a few moments of silence, letting his amber gaze land on your relaxed form.

You, despite not having your curiosity quenched, chose to settle for that answer. You do not wish to further stir up the memories he had let settle into the dust and put aside for as long as he could. And precisely because of that thoughtfulness reserved for him and only him, you never got to hear the last part of his answer. It did not help that the adeptus was too shy to let it slip past his lips, so it truly was a shame.

He had missed the best opportunity to let you know that even though the answer he gave you was one he’s held for centuries, it wasn’t until recently that it had changed to ‘you’. You, the brave yet silly little human, had become the very epitome of ‘sweet dreams’.

Having consumed them for centuries, the adeptus was no stranger to them. You knew, better than anyone else aside from Rex Lapis, that he was painfully familiar with the sweetness forced upon him. What may seem like intangible, abstract fantasies to most have become a source of eternal guilt and pain for the darling, so for him to share his favourite dish with another was indeed a sign of unwavering and complete trust.

After all, almond tofu is well-known for its dreamy texture. One would be deceived into thinking that such a dessert would be tooth-rottingly sweet, and while it was, it was not nauseatingly so. Not to mention it had a subtle texture, like it was there and not at the same time. However, he could feel it on his tongue, in his mouth, down his oesophagus. He could feel it’s weight and knew that the entire plate belonged to him and only him. It was something he could own and consequently trap in his cruel grasp forever. Once it was devoured, it would fully become one with him. (get it?)

You, on the other hand, were not property to be owned, nor sustenance to be consumed. He knew very clearly is more than willing to accept that, which is why consent is important to him. That aside, he’d sometimes feel as if you were sand slipping through his fingers.

Incorporeal, intangible, immaterial; like the sweetest dream he’s ever had. Granting him satisfaction and fullness before dissipating the next second.

You had free will; you could leave anytime. Despite your reassurances, his worries never ceased. Were you truly staying out of your own free will? He did not dare believe you were. You could have very well spent your days frolicking the streets of Liyue or even other nations. There was and still is a bright future ahead, one full of friends new and old and tales untold. He had nothing allowing him to compete with that abundance – the adepti never needed mortal necessities.

He had nothing worthy of your companionship, nothing he could offer.

And while that was partially the reason behind his hesitance, it was definitely not the main one, not the one you knew deep down.

You see, you have always been aware of your limited lifespan, as had Xiao. Ultimately, that was the very matter that had stopped Xiao from confessing to you, and consequently, accepting the heart that you handed to him on a gold platter.

One who has lived as long as he has would more or less be wary about establishing any sort of relationships with mortals, much less romantic ones. If personally watching one's lover grow old and wither while time stood still for them was as painful as they said, he feared he'd lose his sanity.

After all, he's already lost his four beloved comrades, the closest he’s ever gotten to having a family. And oh Archons did it hurt, so he's sure that the pain of losing you would make him drive his spear into his heart, if only to stop it from hindering his duties.

However, one should take caution not to mistake his fear for regret. He may be afraid of the control your very existence holds over his emotions, but Archons above if he wasn't elated – albeit hesitant – to accept the love you're willing to spare a being like him. Granted, he's voiced his worries to you before, trying to scare you away with his usual warnings and icy demeanor, but you never seem to fear the karma that swirled around him like a swarm of locusts.

Rather, it made you even more determined to serve him your heart on a gold platter, and it honestly made him concerned about your mental state.

It wasn't very often for a karma-bound being like himself to have living creatures willing to approach him, so he contemplated taking you to Bubu Pharmacy and having Baizhu check that little noggin of yours. Unexpectedly, his attempt ended with a confession of his plans when you got too fed up with him trying to feed you herbal concoctions that had you scrunching your nose in distaste.

“Darling, pray tell, what is this?”

“Tea, brewed from herbs known for nourishing the brain.”

A splutter resounded through the room, followed by the hurried fishing of tissue paper. The man had reached you before the sound of him cutting through the air had. And here he was, plopping himself next to you, on his bed, wiping the tea around your lips. Coughing into your fist to hide your embarrassment, your eyes darted to his concentrated face, and a chuckle had escaped you before you knew.

Oh, good Morax above, his little human had gone insane. Who in Teyvat laughs after choking on tea? Surely, he was not the cause of your laughter? Melodious and enchanting as it was, it did not do much in easing his concern and consequently, fretting over you.

“Are you alright? Bursting into laughter after choking on a beverage is hardly wise or beneficial.” He chided gently, huffing when you shot him a goofy grin.

“I’m fine.” You whined, latching onto his arm like a koala to a tree, “Besides, what are these even for?”

“…It would not hurt to nourish your brain.” He uttered, too lost in your gorgeous eyes to notice what he had spoken. It wasn’t until your offended gasp reached his ears and a gentle boop landed on his nose did he focus his attention back on you. “My brain is completely fine! Loving and staying with you is the smartest decision I’ve ever made. And mind you, it will always be! So no more of this self-deprecating talk alright?” His fingers were then intertwined with yours, the warmth of your palm directly transferring to his now that his pesky glove was not in the way.

Wait a minute.

...When had you removed his glove?

A sigh escaped his lips. The only thing he could do was to keep an extra eye out for this silly little human who had no respect for the adepti whatsoever. But then again, he was the one letting you disrespect him in all ways others would never dare dream of, so technically speaking he had no one but himself to blame.

A soft sensation on his cheek lead to his gaze flitting over to you. By the time he had finished buffering though, the touch was gone, swiftly and silently as the wind. His fingers gently grazed the patch of skin that your lips had latched onto, and he was back to loading again. Upon seeing this, you let yourself laugh, the giggles making his bottom lip jut out into a pout.

Goodness gracious, you really had no respect for the adepti. Even so, Xiao still settled for pulling you close and shutting you up with a revengeful kiss. Catching you off-guard just as you thought you had the upper hand was no less satisfying than seeing you blush and slowly melt into the sweetness. Nevertheless, he nipped your lip once in warning, deciding to add one more for good measure before pulling away. After all, this was a punishment and not a reward, he couldn’t have you enjoying it too much now, could he?

Was it really a punishment though? Your flushed cheeks and dazed expression begged to differ. If such a delicious exchange was your punishment for disrespect to the adepti then…

Then of course you were going to seek out each adepti as if you were Tang Sanzang (the monk) in Journey to the West and spitting the most blasphemous bars you could.

However, you completely forgot that your lovely birb knew you like the back of his hand. He’s learnt to read this eccentric human over the years and there’s no way he was going to save you from his fellow adepti.

…Perhaps a gentle flick to the forehead would be enough, he thinks. So, he gifted you one.

“Ow! You’re so mean!”

“Do not go around disrespecting the adepti. I will not be saving you from them.”

“Hmph, I can handle myself very well thank you!”

His criminal offensive, bombastic side-eye made you toss your plans into the bin, but you knew that those golden jewels will only ever hold love and respect for you.

Yet, it was not always the case (in your humble opinion).

Given his stern and emotionless facade, you, like any other human, thought that the yaksha was untouchable. His status as the revered Conqueror of Demons, the Guardian Yaksha, and an outstanding adepti most definitely did not help that stigma. Hence, despite his ethereal looks that render any mortal swooning, you weren't too confident about being able to insert yourself into his life in hopes of capturing his attention, much less his heart.

In the end, there was not much to an ordinary mortal like you, was there? You weren’t the Traveller; just someone akin to a negligible NPC on the side of the street. But you were happy, content even. It wasn’t very often that smiles graced the Conqueror’s face, so to have seen such an ethereal sight in your lifetime was more than enough. Of course, you interacted with him whenever you could, settling for his politeness. His voice was incredibly soothing and if you could make an ASMR out of it, you would.

Besides, the Traveller was also an amazing friend, helping you out whenever you needed and in return, you’d help with materials, supplies or cooking. Whenever the adventurous pair were too busy, they’d request for your help in delivering medicinal herbs to Xiao, which Zhongli eventually caught wind of. Seeing as you were entrusted with such a sensitive task, the brunette was reassured of your character and eventually delegated the task of delivery to you.

Were you happy? Not at all.

Because that was the understatement of the millenium. The personification of your internal thoughts was practically jumping for joy, over the moon even. This opportunity finally fell into your hands and there was no way you weren’t going to cherish it. Anyone who wanted it would have to pry it out of your cold hands.

…If they manage to even win anyway.

Just kidding, you weren’t the type to get violent unnecessarily. Your elation was undeniably true though, growing when the visits became a routine belonging to only the both of you. Throughout the months, you watched as his guard lowered bit by bit, and he witnessed you coming more and more out of your shell.

In a sense, you were sunlight and Xiao was the water to the seed. When you were chattering away about the interesting encounters you’ve had, you shone brightly. When you were chill, a soothing sort of warmth was provided instead. The energy you brought fluctuated but was never absent, just like the Sun.

On the other hand, his quiet but comforting understanding seeped into the soil, silently assisting its growth behind the scenes.

Necessary, essential, but easy to overlook.

You’d always notice it though, always see his reciprocation.

With your combined efforts, your friendship slowly blossomed, nourished by the vulnerability of the conversations held and the time you willingly spent on each other. As much of a shame it was, him not falling for you was by no means his fault. It just wasn’t meant to be. But at the very least, you could still leave a tiny mark in his long life, even if out of human selfishness.

You also never knew why the Traveller would randomly give you mysterious smiles or looks of exasperation, as if there was something you should have noticed or known but didn’t. You were then often left alone with Xiao during mealtimes, excuses flowing like rivers while a flailing Paimon was dragged away by the blonde.

Poor Paimon, she never got to take away the leftovers. But she’ll live, so that’s not the point.

How could you be blamed though? It was not known to you, but the clear heart had long been in your grasp. The crystalline organ, left behind by the one who devoured malicious dragons and was consequently engulfed by an inferno, had been unknowingly, gingerly, slipped into your open palms. It thumped ever so slightly between your fingertips, softly beating the rhythm of love into yours.

He had seen you thrive and flourish. How you’d go about your day-to-day life with an impressive yet stubborn sort of determination, ready to overcome any obstacle. Bearing witness to how you peered into his soul from his eyes, your heart knocking on the door to his and inviting it to a romantic waltz. He may not know when exactly he fell for you, but he knows that he’s never getting back up. You were and are the one battle he’d gladly surrender to, even if it did take you some time to see that.

Worry not though, for fate seemed to ship the both of you. You had thankfully noticed his secret admiration early on and took initiative, so at least there were decades you could spend with him. It may have been but a fleeting moment compared to his lifespan, you were nonetheless content.

You had called for him atop Wangshu Inn on that birthday of his, a gift in hand. Despite having turned away certain visitors (like a certain funeral director), he discovered that he could never do the same to you. Seeing your disappointment hurt him far more than any injuries would, but your joy on the other hand was a salve in itself.

…It would not hurt to follow his heart on this day, would it?

With that, he appeared behind to you, the embrace of a breeze giving him away. You looked stunning that day, the moonlight bathing you in the most enchanting glow he’s ever seen. The effort you had put into your appearance was clear as day, not a single detail escaping his eyes. The traditional ornaments matched his, the colours blending smoothly to create an other-worldly mix of yours and his.

You matched him, but never lost yourself.

Naturally, it wasn’t the same for his gift. It was wrapped neatly, the gold popping against the dark emerald green. Anyone taking a look would instantly recognize its receiver – precisely the giver’s intention.

“Happy birthday. May your birthdays always be spent in happiness and bliss, your existence celebrated and loved, your success and life smooth and obstacle-free, and hopefully your love life include me.”

It’s been an unfathomably long time since he last received such well-wishes, much less the last part. Did he really hear you correctly? You wanted his love life to include you? Was it what he thought it was?

Was he allowed to acknowledge what you had just said?

“Ahem. Your blessings have been received and are much appreciated, as is your present. Tonight is especially chilly; take care not to catch a cold.” He uttered, inviting you to take a seat. “Are you not going to talk about what I’ve just said or did you not hear?” You pressed on, careful not to scare your sweet bird away. You couldn’t let him teleport away during such an important moment, could you? Your hands may already be clammy from the nervousness, but you had to get an answer tonight.

You felt his sharp gaze on you and considered salvaging what’s left of your pride, though he seemed to have seen through you.

“If this is your idea of a joke, please return.”

…Oh heck no.

“A joke? My feelings and the time I spent yearning for you are real. All the efforts I put into closing the distance between us is real. The nights we spent chatting away were all real. The vulnerability we shared was no different. How could you just chalk it all up to mere jest?” Did he truly not see the longing in your eyes?

“It will be wise to think for yourself. It is not safe for living beings to get close to a karmic-bound one such as myself.”

He did NOT just try to scare you away.

“Please, if I was truly afraid of your karma, I would not have approached you or appeared in your sights at all. I’d have avoided the absolute heck out of you. I value my life very much, thank you.”

Silence.

Fine. If he was not going to take the first step, then you were.

“I apologise; I did not mean for it to come out that harsh, but I speak the truth. I genuinely wish to be by your side and to support you in times of need. If you truly aren’t willing to accept my feelings, it is alright, I do not blame you. But I hope my feelings will at least be reciprocated with respect and a definite answer.”

“Are they gonna get together or not? Paimon’s losing patience!”

“Shh! They’ll hear you!”

A glare from the Conquerer of Demons was enough to send the eavesdroppers scuttling for their lives.

That night, a yaksha and a human spilled their hearts out to each other, more than they ever had. The walls separating them crumbled to debris, and they bared their hearts. Worries were unveiled, fear confessed, then reassured and soothed by firm promises and solutions proposed. One who’s spent millenia alone experienced romantic love for the first time and finally understood why the mortals sought it out.

Like chocolate, the sweetness of affection was complemented by the bitter aftertaste of ‘what ifs’ and anxiety.

He’ll be darned if that chocolate wasn’t the best he’s tried though. He may not have given an answer after that much-needed conversation, but he had promised you a deadline he’d give an answer by.

Three days, he’d said. Give him three days to sort through his feelings and consider. So you did.

On the third day, a letter was found by your windowsill. ‘Should you read this letter, please know that I have accepted and return your feelings. If you are still willing to see me, then speak my name. I will be there.’

“Xiao.”

No other words were needed.

Since that day, the both of you were officially together. He’s never mentioned it, but it would be a lie for him to say that all of his troubles had been resolved.

One of them being your lifespan.

It wasn’t like he didn’t try searching for secret or adepti art to grant you longevity; he did. Even more diligently than guarding Liyue’s safety. Zhongli does not have to know that, but you do. Aside from respecting your decisions, he wasn’t sure if those forbidden arts would go against the natural rule of Teyvat and subsequently bring you harm. He wasn’t willing to risk it either.

In times like this, he would recall the advice he’s heard from his ‘colleagues’ and found family all those centuries ago. Something along the lines of worrying less and living in the moment. He’s already spent years with you, experiencing what he never thought he could. The constant in his memories was no longer the striking red nor the bland snow, having been replaced by you.

At the end of the day, what matters was that you are still by his side, no? He should cherish the present before their existence is reduced to mere memories, privy to only those who share them. He’s already made that mistake with Bosacius and the others; it would not be wise of him to commit it again.

Unbeknownst to him, you saw how those bright amber eyes had been clouded over for a quite a while now. While it was not abnormal for Xiao to lose himself in his memories, you weren’t sure if it was just nostalgia or traumatic flashbacks. A quiet Xiao would be either a good or bad thing, but you weren’t risking it.

Mistaking his embarrassment for sorrow, you gently poked him on the cheek thrice. Thank the high heavens that the little 'poke-poke-poke' managed to snapped him out of his trance, or you’d have to resort to more…drastic measures.

Such as a surprise kiss attack, which you regretfully did not get the chance to put into action.

“Xiao, darling. I didn’t mean to make you sad...”

“…I am at fault; I did not mean to ignore you. I was merely lost in thought. You did nothing worthy of apologizing for.”

A bare hand lifted, gently patting your head. He never liked when you apologized for trivial matters. You did not deserve to live in fear, especially not when you’re by his side. If there was something he could do to rid you of this anxiety, he’d do it in a heartbeat, even if it costed him his life. That you knew, and actions spoke louder than words. Thus, you chose to let your fingertips transfer your warmth, caressing his cheek and enjoying the smooth, tender flesh you’ve always loved to pinch and poke.

What a fitting contrast, you thought. His hands showed the world of his past and duty, the trials and tribulations he went through. His skin, however, reflected who he really was internally. His gentle protection, his care and his kindness just to mention a few, all represented by the softness and youthful appearance.

Although, his sweetness was a whole ‘nother story, shining through his flawless penmanship and the contents penned.

“Xiao, did you notice? Your letters seem to be getting sweeter and sweeter each time. I absolutely adore them, even if I wish you’d convey your feelings to me through your words and not on pen and paper.”

There was a blush, followed by an embarrassed cough. “…I’m glad they brought you joy. If it pleases you so much, I shall express my thoughts verbally next time. For your ears and no one else’s.”

There he goes again, down-playing the effect his existence has on you. But it wasn’t important. You understood him well enough without having to read between the lines or behind his words, and that was enough. Who were you to turn his offers down anyway?

“I’d love that. Since you’re being so generous tonight, could you grant me another wish of mine?”

“I do not believe I have turned down any unless they pose a threat to your safety, but your wishes are my command.”

“Well, my dancing skills are getting rusty from the lack of practice. Do you want to help me practice?”

“When have I ever denied you of your right to dance?”

“Come on, quit teasing me. You know this dance cannot be performed alone.”

His laugh has never sounded more beautiful.

You see, as he had promised you, he taught you the dances he knew and helped you practice the ones which enchanted you most. It then became a sort of bonding activity, mostly done on a whim or when the mood is perfect for pulling him into one.

Just like tonight.

The both of you could tell that it was getting late and he’s always discouraged you from staying past a healthy bedtime. Yet, tonight was different. He was more than willing to indulge you, just as how he’s let you confiscated his gloves and never gave them back. If granting your wishes would incline you to stay, then he’d willingly fulfil any and all of your desires, at any time of the day and any cost.

Even right here, right now. On this grassy field, the moon bore witness to an intimate dance between lovers, each slightly out of reach of the other and desperately trying to close the distance. The two invited the celestial body to a show of passion, where solace was found in a human's arms by a fearsome yaksha who knew nothing but bloodshed.

For tonight, the masquerade ends. The yaksha sheds his mask and falls into step with you with a seemingly innate grace, wondering if there were any adepti arts that would allow him to sear this memory into his brain and have it play on repeat for the remainder of his undesirably lengthy life. If he was to march on as an Archon’s strongest soldier and live well, he will do it for you. He’s gone on for so long, surely, they’d be willing to spare him such a mercy.

If they weren’t, then he has his own ways of remembering you.

You, on the other hand, indulged him with sweet smile, the love and adoration for the cutie practically oozing out of your gaze. Would Chang’E take offense, you wondered, if she happened to gaze upon this performance? Perhaps the goddess would sigh, bemoaning the distance between her and her beloved, merely observing with the ever-slight twinge of envy.

…Who’s to say that you were any different from the goddess though? You were only but a tad bit fortunate, having been given more time to spend with the one who holds your heart. The moment your mortality shows up as an unwanted guest, it will be your turn to envy the goddess.

Truly, fate can be so very cruel.

"I wish I could stay with you forever, Xiao, just you and me alone, here on this grassy field, with the breeze caressing our cheeks as we bask in the silver rays of the moon." You knew this confession brought your darling more joy than he'd ever show, but being able to witness him blush tells you that he's gotten better at showing his emotions around you.

 It felt good to be trusted this much, you wouldn't lie, but all good times come to an end, and it was time that you both returned to where you belonged.

Taking a few steps back, you brushed off the remaining grass from your clothes and stole a few more glances of your sweetheart. It would be absolute bliss if this moment were to never end, though you supposed that gentle kisses would suffice for now. Besides, the lips that Xiao had squished into an unconscious pout looked too full to ignore, and you couldn't help stealing a few more kisses before reluctantly pulling away.

Xiao reaches out, pink lips pursed in a slight frown as he expressed dissatisfaction at your early departure. The fingers he's interlocked his with thousands of times were just in his reach, and it's been so long since he's held those beautiful hands of yours. Now all he had to do was to reach over just a little more and curl his fingers around yours.

Just a little more.

Just a little.

Just–

Expecting to touch warm, gloved flesh, he instead comes into contact with polished stone as cold-hard as the reality he's snapped back into.

He doesn't think he'll ever have a dream sweeter than you.

A/N: Song recommendations specifically for the end of this fanfic:

Ghost by Justin Bieber: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp8msa5uYsc

A Clingy Boy Sticking (To Love) For 15 years by Manbo-P: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIalKKCbKGU

Ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bpMSpFTdzM

[slow-reader-reads-books]

Lesbingyuan au where it’s the normal set up of post extras Bingge dimension traveling into another universe to find his own Shen Yuan. Except the world he arrives in (and is stuck in, can’t opt out of this gender journey) is a slightly genderbent one.

(hidden under a read more bc this turned basically into a wonkily grammatically tensed mini-fic)

Our darling Peerless Cucumber is a 20 something self-proclaimed straight girl with untapped soft butch potential, and is currently recovering from the harrowing trauma of the sunk cost fallacy. She’s spent a lot of time spending money on, reading, and participating in the online fandom of Proud Immortal Demon Way, and she’s currently also dealing with the fact that all her hard work in making herself heard to Great Master Airplane was seemingly for nothing. You see, Shen Yuan had the brilliant idea to create an account that appeared to be a perfectly demographically targeted straight male fan of YY novels who could critique Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky as his fellow but also his better and be listened to and receive great accolades from all frequenters of Zhongdian Literature and be validated for her hate of his writing.

“Airplane’s stupid pen name is a dick joke, I guess I gotta make mine one too… Just to, you know, seem legit and like we have common ground.”

What this charade accomplished was very little, but Peerless Cucumber did become very infamous for three things. One, his nitpicking (“It’s hardly nitpicking if it harms the integrity of the whole story1!!”). Two: his Luo Binghe fanboying (“As a protagonist he’s clearly just a cut above the rest when it comes to soul and wit, the story just rarely ever shows it off”). And three: his skipping of the steamy scenes (“I highly doubt this near identical scenario that also happened twenty chapters back but with a different wife of the week with this exact same cliffside flower giving off the same aphrodisiac mist to Bingge and new wife below will now suddenly be of any plot consequence for the next arc. It didn’t last time either, SKIP!”).

His fervent online activity garnered him the reputation of being an Airplane anti-fan, but also the assumed personality of a submissive simp who hates the easily dominated women that populate Luo Bingge’s harem. 

“lol thats why he must like mingyan so much. she never let bingge push her down. cucumber-bro must want a girlfriend who’ll chain him up and whip him! hes a pervert just like the rest of us, just a worse type kek.” 

Shen Yuan, when looking at such reply comments, gets shiver-inducing flashbacks to when her meimei left her BL comics out for everyone and the Buddha to see. She accidentally witnessed frightening scenes of thin, long-limbed men pushing each other down, tying each other to beds and cracking whips on skin until they shed blood, tears and semen, the shou begging for the gong to stop and the gong never listening. 

Shen Yuan tries to put such things out of her mind if only to preserve in amber the precious, innocent image of her meimei she knows to be true, but also secondarily to focus on the insulted male pride she’s supposed to be feeling after being accused of being a wussy submissive deviant in bed. That sort of accusation requires an in-depth 10,000 character response in order to remain in character as a straight male YY novel connoisseur.

Shen Yuan, as Peerless Cucumber but also as her true self, was undoubtedly straight. Staying in character, Peerless Cucumber made sure to extol the beauty of characters like Liu Mingyan— “She’s an intelligent and cold beauty and is written with a clear and vivid personality! A true equal for our Bingge on the battlefield and in matters of the heart!” As well as occasionally Ning Yingying— “She’s not the boring choice, you all just don’t know the special value a loyal shijie character brings, even if she does lose 99% of her personality to that one singular trait…”

But don’t get it twisted! This is a part of her performance! In real life, logged off and touching grass and breathing fresh outdoor air, she’s your run-of-the-mill average girl who is just a part of the pack. 

Her goals in life are simply not ambitious, is all. If there was a competition with ten available spots to win, she’d have no qualms placing tenth and simply feel honored to have participated. If there are ten girls and nine of them bag a good boyfriend, Shen Yuan doesn’t mind being the tenth who gets unlucky. She’s just kind to her meimeis and jiejies like that! As if she’d take that away from them! They'd probably been wanted those boyfriends for a long time! 

Shen Yuan is hardly a sore loser, and she knows the great importance of girl code and female friendship.

So, Shen Yuan being the normal average and totally straight and cisgender girl that she is decides to wallow in her Airplane-induced misery by going to a con, donning her homemade Mobei-jun cosplay. She worked hours of her life learning how to sew just for this project to the point her family thought she was finally thinking about settling down and learning wifely skills. 

Unfortunately for her ignorant family she’s actually just investing in a really elaborate excuse to cross dress. Well, it’s not really crossdressing, it’s just cosplay! Cosplay is totally different and not about taking on the gender of a character, but their larger identity! She didn’t want to explain this to them, and internally felt afraid and hesitant about it, as if they’d view her as weird for wanting to do this, so she didn’t bother to try at all.

So, Shen Yuan in her 160 centimeter/5 foot 3 inch glory decked out in dark blues and blacks, fur lining the shoulders of her outfit for style points, and wearing a long white wig styled mostly loose but with a few thin braids, chances upon a particularly striking Luo Binghe cosplayer. Not just any Luo Binghe cosplayer, but the best one! He’s tall, must be over 180cm/6 foot but also svelte and willowy in surprising ways. His hair is long and flows down his back from a ponytail ornamented at the base with a thin metal guan. Parts of his cosplay seem very benign, but others seem meticulously crafted and exquisite in quality, especially that sword at his hip! Just looking at it intimidated her, yikes! Job well done, cosplayer!

This Luo Binghe also had the most beautiful and delicately boned face she’d ever seen, eyes dark and deep and highly reflective like that of a lake on a dark and starry night. The cosplayer’s voice was also deeply melodic and enchanting.

This cosplayer… is also a woman! Shen Yuan nodded to herself internally, yes that must be it! No man looks like this in reality, this is a fellow female sufferer of Proud Immortal Demon Way impersonating a fictional man for similar psychological reasons as her. A surge of female loyalty spawns in Shen Yuan’s chest, and she doesn't even bother resisting the urge to walk over and strike up a conversation with this Luo Binghe.

She spat out her name in quick order and immediately started on the topic of female character writing in the novel. The Luo Binghe cosplayer was looking at her quietly and with a heavy amount of gravity, ink-brush eyebrows sitting elegantly low above her eyes in attentive focus. What a good listener this lady is, Shen Yuan thought. She can’t remember when someone last listened to her this closely. She hypocritically chooses to not pay attention to that train of thought any further. “In a world like Proud Immortal Demon Way,” Shen Yuan began with slight smarm, “who would choose to be a woman? I certainly wouldn’t if I wanted to see the interesting parts of the world that drew me into the story in the first place. A male protagonist can explore it freely, but the female characters are all locked away in either the marriage bedroom or the highly isolated harem palaces. Great Master Airplane clearly didn’t eat enough walnuts as a child, he must have some sort of brain deficiency when it comes to writing proper characters— ” 

The tall Luo Binghe cosplayer suddenly spoke up. “Choose?” “Hm? Yeah, I mean, in a world like that, there’s basically no choice, yeah? Gotta serve the narrative and readers and all. But the real world doesn’t have a narrative, we only have ourselves and each other to guide us. So we just do what we want, figure it out as we go. Like us two! We wanted to dress up as these male characters from this asinine story and attend this con and we figured out how to do it! We’re kindred spirits, you and I, we’re zhiyin!” “So when you leave this con, you will also choose to take this manner of dress off and wear something else?” “Obviously. Though, my go-to outfit is just a big t-shirt and sweatpants, or athletic shorts. This kind of thing is the extent of me dressing up.” Shen Yuan didn’t notice, but the Luo Binghe cosplayer’s eyes mildly glazed over in irritated confusion at the unfamiliar terms. Nor did she notice the slight expression of planning that developed in that gaze, as if they were imagining a future shopping expedition to find an outfit Shen Yuan would want to dress up in that wasn’t a facsimile of Luo Binghe’s right hand man.

“I… also want to leave this con and wear something else.” “The busyness getting to you, huh jiejie? You must have gotten here a lot earlier than I did, you poor thing. I guess this is it, it was nice talking to you—” “I don’t have any other clothes with me, and am unable to go back home. Can you help this poor one, jiejie?” “Jiejie—” Shen Yuan coughed. “Am I… wait you can’t go back home? Did your ride ditch you or something, aiyah what a scummy thing to do! I do have extra clothes on me, though I don’t think they’ll fit you. But let’s go find out. I guess if I have to take care of you like this, it does make me feel like a jiejie. Your height made me assume you were older than me, haha.”

Shen Yuan laughed, and the Luo Binghe cosplayer rapidly relaxed and took on an easy smile. “An innocent mistake. Jiejie must often be assumed to be younger than her actual age.” Shen Yuan hummed absent-mindedly. “Eh, not really. I’m only 22, and I think I look it. It’s you who looks like a jade immortal, uh, meimei.” She stuttered when she realized she hadn’t yet caught the other cosplayer’s name, and for some reason it felt weird to just call her Luo Binghe without her also LARPing along as Mobei-jun. Shen Yuan by this point had taken the tall meimei’s hand, it pale and slender much like the rest of her, and had been pulling her along towards the public bathroom to make use of her backpack’s change of clothes, walking along the wall to avoid foot traffic. However, the moment she had finished her sentence and called the other one meimei, the Luo Binghe cosplayer suddenly slammed her free hand on the wall and yanked hard on the one Shen Yuan was holding, pulling her in close to herself, caging her in from behind. Shen Yuan squeaked and found herself crowded against the wall. Her back was encased in a warm and dark heat and she could see above her that jade-white hand curled tightly in on itself, heel practically grinding against the wall. It looked like it was trembling slightly. An earth-shatteringly tight grip squeezed the fingers of her still held hand to the point of hurting slightly. Shen Yuan winced at the sensation.

Shen Yuan heard sharp, heavy breathing above her. Not knowing what to do nor quite what was going on, she squeezed back the hand that was keeping hers hostage and leaned back slightly. Comfort is what she’s doing this for, right? Feels like the reason she’s doing it. 

Shen Yuan felt the other cosplayer jolt behind her. After a tense beat, a forehead slowly dropped onto her shoulder. Shen Yuan was wearing fur along the top half of her outfit as a part of her Mobei-jun cosplay, but nonetheless she could feel the vague contour of the other’s nose through it, burrowing deeper into its warmth. Shen Yuan now felt awkward for only bothering with faux-fur for her cosplay. But with that face resting upon her shoulder and an odd sense of vulnerability wafting off of her, a sharp sense of broad awareness filled Shen Yuan's mind mysteriously. Her mind filled up with sensory information on the one behind her, naturally taking note of every detail with ease.

“Meimei…” the Luo Binghe cosplayer trailed off, muffled slightly by Shen Yuan’s cosplay, but also seemingly by her own emotions being stuck in her throat. “Can I really be jiejie’s meimei?” Shen Yuan didn’t really know what to do or how to respond, so she simply continued to lean her weight back onto the other. She then pulled on the elbow that led to the hand positioned above her until it was brought down far enough for her to grab properly. Shen Yuan took both hands in hers and placed them in front of her in a comfortable position. They were slightly cold, so she rubbed at them with her thumbs.

The Luo Binghe cosplayer picked her head up and looked down at the sight with watery eyes and a warbling lip. Both of her hands were cradled in that grip, gently held in front of the shorter’s stomach in a tender and intimate fashion. Their arms were bent parallel and their front and back slotted together in a way that, to the taller one, felt predestined.

“Can you, what kind of question is that, of course you can. But, I’d like to have your name too, if you don’t mind? Only calling you meimei sounds like I’m calling out to my real little sister.” Shen Yuan laughed and looked up over her shoulder nonchalantly. 

Somewhere in the distance, she can hear people giggling and snapping pictures of the two. She felt a twinge of embarrassment. Of course this moment looks compromising from the outside, they’re cosplaying Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun!

Shen Yuan was suddenly working very hard to maintain a cool poker face in front of her very tall and newly minted meimei.

Bringing up her real little sister and then suddenly being thrust into this type of self-aware of cringe violently and nonconsensually summoned forth invented images of a dog blooded BL scenario that wouldn’t be out of place in her real meimei’s leisure literature.

Fellow con goers, please have mercy on us two women and don't be thinking of what I'm thinking! We’re merely having a pure hearted, early friendship bonding moment! Skinship is very much common and normal between people like us, disregard the kabedon! Totally normal female friendship is blossoming here, get your homoerotic dog blood tropes out of our personal lives!

“This one is called… Qiu Bingbing.” Her voice hitched and quavered with some sort of ineffable, delicate emotion. “Bingbing, ah? Written with the same character as Binghe, meaning ice? And Qiu, is that with the character meaning the autumn season or the character meaning a grave mound?”

Qiu Bingbing hummed and nodded lethargically to the first question and spoke up for the second, hesitating slightly. “Qiu as in autumn.” “What a pretty name, “autumn ice”. You fit the bill of Luo Binghe perfectly, but with a name like that it’s nearly a pity to go by something else. You’re a miraculous find in a place like this, Bing-mei.” Shen Yuan complimented with abandon, eager to make her new friend feel good, and turned around. Still holding one hand, she impulsively took the chance Qiu Bingbing’s still bowed head offered and patted it softly.

She did that for a while, not paying attention to anything else. A euphoric smile opened on Qiu Bingbing’s lips. She was lost in the moment too. 

The rest of the world fell away. As long as Luo Binghe, no, as long as Qiu Bingbing can worm her way into every crevice of Shen Yuan, she’ll be fine. He before was always grasping at any semblance of peace and security only for it to slip through his grasp like sand, but she’s found it. She’ll nestle in and hibernate inside Shen Yuan’s veins and she’ll never let go. She will never.

“Let’s go get you those clothes. Good thing I like them oversized, they should be mildly presentable on you, even if they aren’t anything girly.”

“I can live without anything girly, anything of yours will do.”

“That’s good to hear, let’s go then.”

[nikomedes]

astarion saying “this is why your father doesn’t love you ❤️” whenever durge does something considerate/romantic. aaand send tweet

[saintvainglorious]

Fics I Enjoyed in January - DC Comics Fic Rec List Part 2

I am still neck-deep in DC fandom this month and the fics have been so so good. Unlike last time, I am too tired to write mini summaries/reviews, so I'm going to feature my favorite quote from each fic instead.

My first DC Comics fic rec list is here!

Floor Plans by @oh-mother-of-darkness (Teen & Up, 1k, 2016) “I really didn’t want to die,” he finished. “I was kind of hoping if I laid here long enough, I would remember what that felt like.”

Losing two brothers in six months takes an emotional toll.

almost right by @bitimdrake (Teen & Up, 3k, 2020) He desperately wishes that he didn’t know what Dick’s cheekbone feels like under a gauntleted fist.

Bruce sucks in a breath, hand raising to fix the cowl. Dick flinches back.

but more with love by @danishsweethearts (Teen & Up, 3k, 2022) Dick wakes up one morning, groggy from a dream that he thinks might’ve been about the circus and also about his favourite car and also about how lonely he is, and realizes that he can’t remember what his mother’s voice sounds like anymore.

O Robin, Robin, wherefore art thou Robin?

The Mechanics of a Hug by @sohotthateveryonedied (General Audiences, 4k, 2017) “You know… that crushing sense of depression? Like,” Dick chews his lip. “It’s. A physical weight. Makes it hard to breathe?” “Yeah,” Tim says, soft. He smiles, wryly. “I sort of hoped you didn’t, though.”

“So,” Tim ventures. “It's… what, a cuddle pollen?” Bruce just shrugs. “Something like that.”

No Pain, All Gain by @sohotthateveryonedied (General Audiences, 1k, 2020) Tim’s eyes go even wider. “You stole my organs?” “Technically,” Jason chimes in, “the doctors stole your organs. We just gave them permission.”

Bruce checks Tim’s IV. “Are you in any pain? Do you need more morphine?” Tim’s pupils are so wide that only the faintest ring of blue can be seen. He watches Bruce the way a five-year-old watches cartoons. “I’m all good, B-dog. All Gucci, like we cool teens say." His words are slurred almost beyond recognition, but Tim doesn’t seem to notice or care. "I could fight Superman right now.”

The Wind Sits in the Shoulder of Your Sail by @birdchildsnest (Teen & Up, 7k, 2020) “Oh my god. Bruce. I can’t even tell if you’re serious. When everybody finally eats the rich—they’re going to eat you first.”

At least, back then, Tim had barely been a teenager. He could almost forgive his own volatility. And he’d been smart enough (scared enough?) not to tell Jack that he didn’t need him. What was his excuse now? Bruce was his dad (at least, in the legal sense), but (surprise, surprise) it turned out that Tim wasn’t any better at being a son. Or Tim and Bruce still have some things to sort through after the adoption.

I Left My Conscience On Your Front Doorstep by @dustorange (Teen & Up, 21k, 2022) He doesn’t want to be loved if being loved is like this.

"I think I'm leaving," Dick whispers. "I think I'm not coming back."

bad boys bad boys (whatcha gonna do) ♫ by @drakefeathers (Teen & Up, 20k, 2014) "They live their lives thinking they can charge through the city with the right to hurt and kill and destroy as many lives as they want. And they do it all without a shred of remorse." “But—” Damian begins, brow furrowed in confusion. “Isn’t that like you?”

a Jason and Damian as Batman and Robin AU!! featuring a bunch of graffiti, a rival dynamic duo, and Cat Jason (a cat named Jason).

The Biggest Mistake by @oh-mother-of-darkness (General Audiences, 1k, 2016) “I could ground him anyway, if it would make you feel better.” “He only said it because I called him ‘a garbage can so ineffective it actually became garbage.’”

"You know what really needs to be addressed? Bruce's truly terrible treatment of Damian." -Me, on a daily basis

been a number and a name by @wynterstars (Teen & Up, 35k, 2023) “Turns out if you just say ‘spacetime’ until people’s eyes glaze over they don’t really question anything you say. Also, somehow nobody expects me to be able to actually do enough math to explain it.”

On a field trip, Robin has a close encounter with the newest super in Metropolis, only to discover the hard way that Superboy secretly works for Lex Luthor. They agree to work together on a plan to free Superboy from Luthor’s hold, but Robin isn’t sure how far he can trust him—and his developing feelings only make things more complicated.

clean it like you mean it by @wynterstars (Teen & Up, 70k, 2024) "Wait, ugh, you're not my dead dad, right? If I'm getting a dying vision of my dead dad I want a do-over because he suuuuucked."

When Gotham's crooks have to scrub down their lairs, who do they call? Jason Todd, Gotham's first and only underworld crime scene cleaning specialist. He's spent his life dodging the Bat, but after a chance encounter he saves Robin's life. Tim Drake finds himself drawn to the conflicted rogue, and soon Jason becomes Robin's street informant. But they can only stay on opposite sides of the law for so long before something breaks.

3:16 by @wufflesvetinari (Teen & Up, 70k (WIP), 2023) “Try to decouple one thing from the other. I’m proud of you, but ice cream isn’t my grand statement about whether you’ve been good or bad today. Good things are good. Happiness is precious. Sometimes you just want caramel chocolate chip.”

The knife pushes thin along Dick’s carotid artery, cupping the indent between neck and jawline—forcing him to angle his chin. The metal is warm, pulled with execution speed from under Damian’s pillow. “Okay,” Dick says quietly, tracking the intricacies of his own heartbeat—counting the space between breaths. “Guess I did need a shave.” (With faltering steps, Dick and Damian become Batman and Robin.)

wolf-king of rome by @mysterycitrus (Not Rated, 25k, 2024) “You go after Joker, but you don’t kill him, because it’s not about the Joker dying, it’s about Bruce breaking his code for you. It’s about Bruce loving you enough to change himself for the worse. It’s about your idea of grieving.”

Jason doesn’t fear Dick Grayson. Fear itself has changed shape for him, since his return from the Pit - it tastes of dirt in his mouth, of drowning, of fire and blood and laughter, more than a tangible face. Still, he’d be stupid not to be cautious. Dick liked playing on an uneven field, and would do anything to keep him off balance, so he just had to stay focused. That’s the nature of the armistice, both waiting for the other to make a move. It’s like balancing on the head of a pin.

Declensions by @dustorange (Teen & Up, 13k, 2018) “Do not tell them your name. Do as I did to survive. I lied. I have always lied. Make one up. Do not let them have you. Say your name is…is…is…Richard Grayson. Or something. They are going to steal you; do not give them anything to steal.”

“My father,” Dick says, “worked the rope. It cut him. His hands were never clean.”

Passiontide by @bigdvmnhero (Teen & Up, 5k, 2025) Despite its faults, the day had tried to be good. He felt young, like someone's son.

On the 96th day Bruce didn't call, Dick remembered their old game. Three things he knew: 1) In three months, it would be Dick's death anniversary; 2) Bruce was still missing his check-ins; 3) Here Dick was, persisting. Imagine the things I'd survive, Dick thought distantly, if I loved Bruce less. Or: Agent 37 and his various crises of faith, on Day 277 at Spyral, Day 150, and Day -0.

the time you won your town the race by @silverwhittlingknife (Teen & Up, 4k (WIP), 2022) Tim. Tim is Dick’s. Death sharpens, clarifies these things. Who will receive the body, decide on the funeral, receive condolences, make all the decisions that matter. No one has questioned it, not even Tim’s friends. There’s a terrible clarity about death. If Dick said, let’s burn everything he owned, Alfred would do it.

He doesn’t know exactly what Tim would say. But he knows what Tim would do. Tim dies. Dick doesn’t take death for an answer. A Red Robin 12 AU.

door, opening by @cowboysorceror (Mature, 70k (WIP), 2024) Dick, with the keys to every locked door Jason has ever tried to open, tucked inside the cradle of his skull; all of that, snuffed out like a candle.

It’s barely audible, but he knows what he heard. A short, four-note whistle, chirping down – E, C#, then jumping up to A, F#, a little trill on the finish. He waits a moment, head turned slightly towards the dim shapes of storage containers between him and the ramp, eyes straining against the blackness. Long, stretching seconds. There it is again. His gloved hand, prickling with cold, closes into a fist. It’s a wood thrush. A small North American songbird that doesn’t sing at night, doesn’t live in the city. He knows what it means. It means hold, steady, not yet. It means wait for me, I’m behind you.

[lunarthing159]

[ Gunshot, Rosette, & Canvas ]

A VSAU-AU Fanfiction For @rhapsoddity And Community.

Characters: Sheriff/Jimmy, Wither/Sausage, & Spectrum/Scott

Content Warnings: Detail of Injury, Non-Consensual Hypnosis, & Hot AU Men (Thanks Rhaps).

Extra Tag; @wilbygoesbrrrr Take Your Villain Saus Man

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Stillness.

It was all so still.. quiet.. tranquil..

Almost too much so for The Sheriff's tastes. This place is usually bustling with villains, or even simple criminals by this hour.. yet still.. nothing..

Heroes rarely ventured into the alleyways of this part of Empires City, it was labeled 'not of immediate concern' a long time ago and hasn't changed since. "Tch, figures." He would scoff under his breath at the thought. The whole job of heroes is to help people, and yet they ignore the areas that most need help. Typical, unfortunately.

Oh well, that means more work for The Sheriff to do instead. Hooray!..

Making his way from rooftop to rooftop using his lasso, Sheriff scoured his usual rounds, checking each and every alleyway for even the slightest motive. Even hours later, as he was already slowing down and yawning along the way, he kept searching.

He kept moving.

He kept slowing down.

He kept watching.

He kept yawning.

He kept looking.

He kept rubbing his eyes.

The Sheriff kept Searching

And the searching would seem to pay off.

A simple paper, tucked away in an alleyway corner. A letter, it would seem. The alley walls were lightly coated in city moss, adorned with glass panels & windows leaned onto the sides at the dead-end.

Bingo.

Sheriff decended down from atop the building, using his lasso for the first half and some ladders for the second. "There we go!" Picking up the paper, it read as follows;

To my newest accomplice,

I presume your travels have been well. As I last heard of you, all things are set on your end of our plan. The target has been found, we can begin stage two.

Turn around~

There was no time to react.

The moss along the alley walls came to life in an instant, rushing out towards the sheriff. There was no time to dodge. There was no time to flee. Within moments, he found himself bound within the vines, sprouted thorns digging into his clothes and skin.

And he knew exactly who was causing this.

"Hello there, little cowboy."

Wither. The Thorned Rosebush. The Garden of Decay. The Mania Flower.

He wore a scarlet red mask to cover his eyes and a shirt of the same hue, buttoned down just enough to where his upper chest was visible. He adorned a navy coat that flowed down to his knees with a collar that perfectly framed his medium-length brunette hair and beard. And his smile,,, one that terrified the souls of many, any, & all who have found themselves in his path and wake.

No matter his title to you, you only had one option,,, one chance of survival...

To Run.

Sheriff spent as little time as he could to collect his words, even as his body was thrown into the ground and his arms were bound above his head. He did his best to keep up his usual demeanor, to not showcase his fear,,, his terror. "Well hello there, I know I've shown myself to be a fan of ropes, but this is no way to showcase your own~"

"Oh?" Wither seemed to inquire, only stepping closer. Sheriff prayed the other didn't see the nervous gleam his eyes have no doubt obtained. "Then just how should I show you? Just how much would you like to see~?"

Oh. Oh Sheriff was in over his head. Wither kneeled right infront of him, not in some act of bowing, but as almost a tease, a taunt, a flaunt and display of the other's power in this situation. Sheriff darted his eyes around them, looking for any exit to this situation.

Sheriff let out a cry, the vines tightened, but only around his skin. The thorns dug deep into the flesh, drawing blood and loosening just enough to let him bleed. Dispite the many pains Sheriff has found himself in, he couldn't prevent tears welling up in his eyes. They were trapped there because of his mask, and the salt began to burn, bringing more tears to trap themselves.

"Adorable, do keep up the act, vigilant. Your suffering is delicious." Wither would taunt him, bringing a single finger to swipe across his cheek, causing another wound. Only a small slash, but it was all adding up to the pain Sheriff felt.

It was all too much, even for him,,, the act could be kept up no longer. "Stop,,," it felt so pathetic to beg, but he had no other choice. He couldn't try and writhe out, it would only dig the thorns farther into his arms, legs, & torso. He can only sustain so much damage and guarantee he can make it home. It's all he could do,,, all he could do was beg.

And Wither would only seem to grin wider at his suffering. Perhaps he actually did feed from pain? Who could say. "Don't you worry, I have no intentions to hurt you further. Keep your eyes open, Sheriff. It's time for stage 3~"

What?

And there it was, just outside his peripheral, endless colors began to warp where there was previously only darkness. The visuals creeped into his sight, coating the world around him in shifting and spiraling hues. There was nothing to stay latched on to. There was nothing to stay grounded to. There was nothing to stay focused on. It ate away at his focus, only intensifying every moment it stayed. And Sheriff knew exactly who was working together now.

"Hello there, Rosette~. It seems you've done your part rather well."

"no No NO-"

Not him, not them- anyone but Them.

But it was them. It was, in fact, Wither & Spectrum,,, working together... for... what? What would they need? What could they want? What,,, does Sheriff have to do with this? He,,, didn't know.

And somehow, that terror,,, it distracted him. The world around him began to shift, nothing stayed the same too long. He could hardly make out the walls of the alleyway anymore, only colors,,, endlessly shifting colors,,, endlessly moving colors,,, endlessly spiraling colors,,,

It was... mesmerizing, and any normal person would have fallen victim right here and now. But Sheriff wasn't normal, at least not like this. There had to be a way out, he had to stay strong-

Wither moved to be behind him, wrapping his arms around The Sheriff in a grapple almost adjacent to a hug. Sheriff struggled to not lean into this embrace. Spectrum made his way infront of The Sheriff, gently cupping the other's face within his palms. Sheriff desperately tried to avoid looking as deep as he could into such beautiful eyes. Both villains whispered words to The Sheriff, he tried not to listen, he couldn't hear them, he listened, he couldn't make out what they were saying.

"Hush, --wboy"

"J--- -isten"

"-o thin---g"

"Relax n--"

"D--'t str--gle"

"Fall~."

And fall he did, ever so simply. The colors coated his mind so easily, covering up any thought he may have had and preventing him from forming new ones. They kept swirling in his vision, trapping his mind within it's spirals, falling farther and farther down. All will of fight left his limbs, falling limp within the hold of the one behind him. The world and all in it seemed to fade away as he kept falling further away from it.

His mouth would stay gently open, no tension to keep his jaw closed. His eyes would lose focus, not looking at anything in particular as the world itself seemed to escape him. No thoughts to form, no form to fight, no fight to give. The Sheriff, He could only Be.

Mossy vines untangled themselves from his flesh, retreating back to their posts along the alley walls. Two grins faced the empty husk of a figure, as they knew their plan had succeeded. The bright magenta hue that overwhelmed a previous eye color spoke it all.

They just got a new little puppet~

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Ello! Thanks For Reading! Hope Y'all Enjoyed Your VSAU-AU Villain Yaoi Scosage / Toxic Flytrap Husbands Content :>

[winterspiderpurrs]

Okay but all I can think about is how if say Tony and Peter always met up at this one diner.

After giving Peter back the suit they make it a biweekly thing unless there was a business trip that kept Tony away.

I'm pretending there was a 1 yr or 2 year gap between that and the snap. So they become regulars and always get the same booth in the back.

And after the snap, once Tony is back in NY and recovered?

He shows back up to the diner. Sits in the same booth, staring at the empty seat across from him.

The same old waiter as always comes over, asks him if Peter is late.

And Tony cries on the spot. It's the 1st time he has cried since he felt Peter turned to dust in his arms.